Actually I thought most people in this thread got it wrong when they say that be jerk to a avoid being friendzoned. Most guys just need to be more direct. Don't try to act polite or be a white knight or whatever. Try to be as direct as possible to avoid mixed signal. Jerks are unfortunately better in doing that.
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Tell Me Your FriendZone Stories, GAF
- Thread starter GhostWriter24
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I knew a guy who got out of the friendzone. He was a big guy, not obese but heavy.
In HS he wanted this girl really badly, but she was all "He's nice, like a cuddly brother."
In college he joined the football team, lost like 75 pounds and basically became the star sacker and got his face on the school paper's cover a lot, especially with my college's cheerleaders.
FOR SOME STRANGE REASON, this made her change her mind?!?!?!?!!
He became more desirable. She already liked him as a person, so one part of the equation was there, but when he became more attractive to her it pushed her over the edge. I imagine that it happens all the time.
You would know it.
They'll tell you...how much they wish their boyfriend was like you. They won't date you though. Not in a million years.
I was joking at the end, dude, I know that's the reason.
Well, that and fame is the ULTIMATE aphrodisiac.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
Unless you become the star quarterback and lose 75 pounds and become just generally handsomer.
I have a massive email from when I was in high school sitting in the back of my inbox that reminds me exactly of what the friendzone is like.
Too bad it happened in college as well.
Oh well, I've had relationships before and after these experiences and I'm currently in one now. Not everyone you like is going to like you back, but sometimes you're going to be exploited because of it. Honestly the second situation wasn't even that bad, we're still good friends because I transcended the whole "I totally have a crush on you" phase were you just give off that vibe all the time and it makes things slightly weird.
Too bad it happened in college as well.
Oh well, I've had relationships before and after these experiences and I'm currently in one now. Not everyone you like is going to like you back, but sometimes you're going to be exploited because of it. Honestly the second situation wasn't even that bad, we're still good friends because I transcended the whole "I totally have a crush on you" phase were you just give off that vibe all the time and it makes things slightly weird.
Al-ibn Kermit
Junior Member
Well this wasn't exactly a friend-zoning but I learned a lot from it:
I was in my Junior year of high school and there was this extremely cute and nice girl in one of my classes and within the first few weeks I realized she was making eyes with me, always sitting next to me, and trying to laugh whenever I told a joke to friends sitting nearby. I grew up very religious and I had no experience with dating or girlfriends by then so I just had no idea what to do and thought maybe I should just ignore that type of thing for now and she'll eventually forget about me. I was an arrogant teen but I had a lot of shame and would regret approaching the situation badly.
But people that we were both friends said that it looked like she had a strong crush on me and that I should "just talk" with her and I thought okay why not, nobody will be hurt. Then I saw that it took me months to get over the fear and excuses and finally call her (got her number from a friend). I asked her if we could talk after school which was kind of an odd request from somebody who you've never had a real conversation with and who you obviously didn't give your phone number. She says "Like lets hang out, yeah."
I couldn't see the point in waiting to go through more bullshit conversational games that I didn't know how to play anyways if we both know what each other was really thinking. It's like when you go through months of getting flirty stares and little conversation from a girl who's trying to grab your attention, nothing they do makes sense. So I just responded by asking point blank "So..I've been thinking that you like me?" which sounded a bit less cliche right before I said it. She says "WHAT?! Who told you that?" and I said "Nobody, at all. It was just the way that you were looking at me". Obviously we never met the next day or talked to each other again.
It was like a Dunning-Kreuger moment where I learned how little I actually know about girls. Or really anything social by that point.
I was in my Junior year of high school and there was this extremely cute and nice girl in one of my classes and within the first few weeks I realized she was making eyes with me, always sitting next to me, and trying to laugh whenever I told a joke to friends sitting nearby. I grew up very religious and I had no experience with dating or girlfriends by then so I just had no idea what to do and thought maybe I should just ignore that type of thing for now and she'll eventually forget about me. I was an arrogant teen but I had a lot of shame and would regret approaching the situation badly.
But people that we were both friends said that it looked like she had a strong crush on me and that I should "just talk" with her and I thought okay why not, nobody will be hurt. Then I saw that it took me months to get over the fear and excuses and finally call her (got her number from a friend). I asked her if we could talk after school which was kind of an odd request from somebody who you've never had a real conversation with and who you obviously didn't give your phone number. She says "Like lets hang out, yeah."
I couldn't see the point in waiting to go through more bullshit conversational games that I didn't know how to play anyways if we both know what each other was really thinking. It's like when you go through months of getting flirty stares and little conversation from a girl who's trying to grab your attention, nothing they do makes sense. So I just responded by asking point blank "So..I've been thinking that you like me?" which sounded a bit less cliche right before I said it. She says "WHAT?! Who told you that?" and I said "Nobody, at all. It was just the way that you were looking at me". Obviously we never met the next day or talked to each other again.
It was like a Dunning-Kreuger moment where I learned how little I actually know about girls. Or really anything social by that point.
Dammit, I suck at sensing internet sarcasm. lol
Count Dookkake
Member
Friend zone is for losers.
Make your move and don't be afraid to lose.
It seems effed up, but only losers are afraid to lose.
Make your move and don't be afraid to lose.
It seems effed up, but only losers are afraid to lose.
Al-ibn Kermit
Junior Member
Yeah, I just posted the exception that proves the rule.
Arjen
Member
Most of the times if a girl tels me she just want's to be friends, i don't even bother, i have enough friends.
Current sitaution is an exception though, been friends with a ex-worker for about 3 years, she was in a relationship for most of that time, so i didn't got idea's in my head, although there always was some tension. She broke up, and about two months later we grew closer and some things happened, freaked her out, said she didn't want it to go any further and that we can only be friends. That was a tough pill to swallow because i was starting to really like her.
Anyhoe, swept my pride under the rug, and now a couple months later were still really good friends, and i'm pretty happy she's still in my life.
Current sitaution is an exception though, been friends with a ex-worker for about 3 years, she was in a relationship for most of that time, so i didn't got idea's in my head, although there always was some tension. She broke up, and about two months later we grew closer and some things happened, freaked her out, said she didn't want it to go any further and that we can only be friends. That was a tough pill to swallow because i was starting to really like her.
Anyhoe, swept my pride under the rug, and now a couple months later were still really good friends, and i'm pretty happy she's still in my life.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
How are you the exception that proves the rule?
I still only vaguely get that phrase.
zerokoolpsx
Member
Listen to this man!!
Yea I got friendzoned. Who hasn't?
We met in college from a mutual friend. At this time she was single. We hung out and I was not interested. She hooked up with her ex a month later. We talked a lot on AIM. She divulges personal problems with her bf and some of her best friends to me. I should have taken this as a cue to GTFO, but I didn't. Her relationship crumbled and she's single again. I start having feelings for her. I tell her. She wants us to be friends. I start suffereing from one-itis or http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crystallization_(love)
Frustrated I cut off contact with her for several months. Oddly she calls me up to hang out. She didn't know what she wanted. At this time, I was working different jobs. Transferred from jc to university. My friends think I'm dating, her friends thinks I'm dating. Nothing ever happens between us. She tells me about how she infatuated with this other guy. It wasn't me. She wasn't that great of a friend either. Finally cut off all contact and change my cell. This all happened over the course of 2-3 years.
In hindsight, I wasted way too much time with her. If you're friend zoned, just move on. Also, Fuck that Bitch!
Live and learn.
Al-ibn Kermit
Junior Member
It's the assumption that any (correct) theory must have one or two exceptions that don't follow it. For example the rule that birds migrate south during the winter but then a single bird flying north is the exception.
It's a logical fallacy to assume that the rule is true by pointing out examples of it not being true. It's a common argument that actually makes no sense at all. By saying that something which disproves the theory actually proves the theory.
In truth, the theory may be mostly correct but still needs adjustment.
I did that with a girl who I wasn't reading right. Just made my move. Wasn't the right thing. We wind up being great friends anyway and I get to be in the company of a hot girl. Oh and I got a kiss out of it too.
Count Dookkake
Member
No, you didn't post an exception.
You made your move and got your answer.
Life goes on.
EDIT - And obviously, if you never spoke again, then she wasn't quite your friend. She sounds a bit nutty or young.
This is probably one of the top 10 best posts I've read on this forum. Well done, sir.
Discotheque
Banned
If that was Vince McMahon he would have had the confidence to have taken her.
WWE > UFC
WWE > UFC
PastorOfMuppets
Banned
Every dude has been friendzoned a bunch of times in their lives and in 100% of cases it's their own fault. However, it's a necessary part of growing up. I feel like you should have five "strikes"
Two in high school
Two in college (or the equivalent age)
And a freebie for those times when you're vulnerable and fall pray to your libido mistaking it for real emotions.
My personal advice:
1. Don't get closer to a girl who has rejected you thinking that your friendship will make her want you. You should actually do the opposite.
2. Don't cut ties either, some women like to get to know a guy a little bit before sleeping with them, even if it's a casual sex thing so it's never a bad idea to stay casually friends.
3. The minute you cut ties with them is when they start talking about their sex lives with you in a non-flirtatious/suggestive way. Them talking about other guys in their lives is also a big warning sign. The only path this is going to lead to is the girl is going to call you on a Friday night at 3AM after she's hooked up with a guy to vent/complain/brag. Yes, I've had it happen to me. My fault entirely. Don't hate her for it, I made myself a doormat and opened the door for for that situation to arise.
Before anyone accuses me of being a pig, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING FRIENDS WITH WOMEN.
But being friends with someone who has patently rejected you in hopes that she will change is a douche move. It also rarely works and hurts you in the long run and it ends with you wasting all that time on a girl who wasn't attracted to you when you should have been looking for chicks who were willing to sleep with you. If you are going to be friends with a girl, be friends with her because you can see the benefits in her friendship that have nothing to do with sex (caveat: unless she's one of those cool chicks that makes for a great wingman, then it's always beneficial to be her friend).
Two in high school
Two in college (or the equivalent age)
And a freebie for those times when you're vulnerable and fall pray to your libido mistaking it for real emotions.
My personal advice:
1. Don't get closer to a girl who has rejected you thinking that your friendship will make her want you. You should actually do the opposite.
2. Don't cut ties either, some women like to get to know a guy a little bit before sleeping with them, even if it's a casual sex thing so it's never a bad idea to stay casually friends.
3. The minute you cut ties with them is when they start talking about their sex lives with you in a non-flirtatious/suggestive way. Them talking about other guys in their lives is also a big warning sign. The only path this is going to lead to is the girl is going to call you on a Friday night at 3AM after she's hooked up with a guy to vent/complain/brag. Yes, I've had it happen to me. My fault entirely. Don't hate her for it, I made myself a doormat and opened the door for for that situation to arise.
Before anyone accuses me of being a pig, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING FRIENDS WITH WOMEN.
But being friends with someone who has patently rejected you in hopes that she will change is a douche move. It also rarely works and hurts you in the long run and it ends with you wasting all that time on a girl who wasn't attracted to you when you should have been looking for chicks who were willing to sleep with you. If you are going to be friends with a girl, be friends with her because you can see the benefits in her friendship that have nothing to do with sex (caveat: unless she's one of those cool chicks that makes for a great wingman, then it's always beneficial to be her friend).
My cachet with women is that I'm friends with them, and they tell their friends that I'm a great guy. If some women I knew didn't give me blue balls, others wouldn't be giving me things I actually want.
It's not definitely always the guys fault though. Some women know what they're doing, and do it anyway. There is enough blame to go around IMO.
ThaneKrios
Banned
My life in a nutshell.
shanshan310
Member
Its all her fault damn it! What a bitch!
JORMBO
Darkness no more
Beginning of college. Was drunk with a female friend and she crashed in my bed. She said she wasn't having sex so I went to sleep. She was pissed off the next morning. That's when a friend of mine explained I was an idiot and had the perfect oppurtunity.
I didn't get laid that night but I learned a super valuable life lesson! Haven't repeated a mistake like that since.
I didn't get laid that night but I learned a super valuable life lesson! Haven't repeated a mistake like that since.
Indrid Cold1
Member
I vividly remember being about 13 and one summer my best friend used to use my bedroom as a spot to (excuse me while i throw up using this hideous americanism but i dont know what else to call it) "make out" with our other best friend, who I was hopelessly in love with.
I used to sit and play my SNES while he snogged the life out of her under the covers of my bed. With a flash of tragic irony I have just realised while reading this thread the game I used to play the most while this was going on was a spider-man one called Separation Anxiety lol.
After this either he would borrow my bike and give her a "backie" home or I would do the honours. Rinse and repeat most nights for the entire summer holidays.
That sounds like such a load of bullshit but I swear to god its 100% true and I was 100% that much of a loser. Ceri and Andrew, if your reading this by any chance I am still bloody traumatised.
I used to sit and play my SNES while he snogged the life out of her under the covers of my bed. With a flash of tragic irony I have just realised while reading this thread the game I used to play the most while this was going on was a spider-man one called Separation Anxiety lol.
After this either he would borrow my bike and give her a "backie" home or I would do the honours. Rinse and repeat most nights for the entire summer holidays.
That sounds like such a load of bullshit but I swear to god its 100% true and I was 100% that much of a loser. Ceri and Andrew, if your reading this by any chance I am still bloody traumatised.
To paraphrase Louis CK: Now you just gonna rape her on the off chance that hopefully she's into that shit?
Captain_Spanky
Member
If a girl says she won't have sex with you she almost certainly will.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
I vividly remember being about 13 and one summer my best friend used to use my bedroom as a spot to (excuse me while i throw up using this hideous americanism but i dont know what else to call it) "make out" with our other best friend, who I was hopelessly in love with.
I used to sit and play my SNES while he snogged the life out of her under the covers of my bed. With a flash of tragic irony I have just realised while reading this thread the game I used to play the most while this was going on was a spider-man one called Separation Anxiety lol.
After this either he would borrow my bike and give her a "backie" home or I would do the honours. Rinse and repeat most nights for the entire summer holidays.
That sounds like such a load of bullshit but I swear to god its 100% true and I was 100% that much of a loser. Ceri and Andrew, if your reading this by any chance I am still bloody traumatised.
What the fuck, guy? Why just sit there and take it?
I was officially friend-zoned last weekend.
Been hanging out with a guy for a while, no hook-ups or anything, thought we were just taking it slow. But i was pouring on the romance either way. I finally make a salvo to push the relationship to the next level, but he said he just wanted to be friends.
then i learn about some boy he's been dating, over brunch.
........
ugh. yeah, it's been a fun week.
words of wisdom: don't wait too long to make a move. that was my mistake. there's such a thing as going too slow.
Been hanging out with a guy for a while, no hook-ups or anything, thought we were just taking it slow. But i was pouring on the romance either way. I finally make a salvo to push the relationship to the next level, but he said he just wanted to be friends.
then i learn about some boy he's been dating, over brunch.
........
ugh. yeah, it's been a fun week.
words of wisdom: don't wait too long to make a move. that was my mistake. there's such a thing as going too slow.
Indrid Cold1
Member
Seraphinianus
Banned
welp, this might be the funniest thing i see all day.
that's why you go to craigslist first, for practice.
don't go on craigslist.
Okay, then they would be leading multiple guys on at once then.
nVidiot_Whore
Banned
Honestly don't think it's ever happened to me.
I have a pretty good sense of whether or not a girl has real interest in me.. always have I guess. I've taken a few risks here or there that paid off, but otherwise I'm usually going after girls who have made it at least somewhat obvious they are interested...and I can't recall ever being interested in a girl that wasn't interested in me. I guess I'm not attracted to rejection or something, lol.
I've had several female friends that I've "friend zoned" though.
I KNEW one friend of mine was interested.. I broke up w/ my girlfriend and suddenly when we hung out she was dressing nicer, wearing more makeup, etc. It was an awkward few weeks.. then I found a knew girl.. and one night during a drunken rant she said something like.. "Why do you always go for the pretty girls who wear makeup and stuff? Why not me?" Something like that.. I brushed it off and I don't think she remembered.. but she might have.. or just decided she didn't want to be friends after she realized I wasn't going to ever go for her because she stopped coming around as often, and shortly after, we just stopped hanging out at all.
I have a pretty good sense of whether or not a girl has real interest in me.. always have I guess. I've taken a few risks here or there that paid off, but otherwise I'm usually going after girls who have made it at least somewhat obvious they are interested...and I can't recall ever being interested in a girl that wasn't interested in me. I guess I'm not attracted to rejection or something, lol.
I've had several female friends that I've "friend zoned" though.
I KNEW one friend of mine was interested.. I broke up w/ my girlfriend and suddenly when we hung out she was dressing nicer, wearing more makeup, etc. It was an awkward few weeks.. then I found a knew girl.. and one night during a drunken rant she said something like.. "Why do you always go for the pretty girls who wear makeup and stuff? Why not me?" Something like that.. I brushed it off and I don't think she remembered.. but she might have.. or just decided she didn't want to be friends after she realized I wasn't going to ever go for her because she stopped coming around as often, and shortly after, we just stopped hanging out at all.
It happened to me a few times when I was 18 or 19. The biggest issue then was that I didn't know how to make a move. The idea of moving in for a kiss was terrifying to me unless circumstances were just right. I still got laid, but it was absolutely a case of "getting lucky", since I couldn't create my own shot very well. I'd estimate that in that first year and a half or so of college, there were 15-20 girls who I could have hooked up with, but ended up becoming friends with because of that problem.
Once I learned that you really can just kiss a girl, and she'll go with it a lot of the time, I didn't really have this problem anymore.
I guess there are still holdover girls from the early days of college when my game was ineffective, but I'm fine with that. I'm not really interested in them romantically, so it's not a true friendzone.
Once I learned that you really can just kiss a girl, and she'll go with it a lot of the time, I didn't really have this problem anymore.
I guess there are still holdover girls from the early days of college when my game was ineffective, but I'm fine with that. I'm not really interested in them romantically, so it's not a true friendzone.
toxicgonzo
Taxes?! Isn't this the line for Metallica?
One time, a bunch of friends were supposed to meet at this girl's apt. complex to go swimming in her pool.
Except, everyone legitimately canceled at the last minute.
She calls me and says, "I'm really sorry but everybody bailed on the pool thing. You still wanna go swimming?"
And I said, "We should save it for another time. It's more fun with more people."
She was all sorts of crazy.
Except, everyone legitimately canceled at the last minute.
She calls me and says, "I'm really sorry but everybody bailed on the pool thing. You still wanna go swimming?"
And I said, "We should save it for another time. It's more fun with more people."
She was all sorts of crazy.
Foxy Fox 39
Banned
Unfortunately I think I'm more likely to friendzone a girl than vice versa.
deejay8595
my posts are "MEH"
Sonic Pic and the above is the funniest ish I've read all week lol
Hot Coldman
Banned
Haha, oh dear.
The bolded makes me laugh, for other reasons. I once had a girl tell me this. A week later, we were fucking. So maybe your awesome friend needs to shift gears a bit.
Sanky Panky
Banned
I can say with confidence that I've at least made out or had a clear shot at hooking up with my female friends I've been interested. The case I most regret is this one incredibly gorgeous Venezuelan friend I have, when we both rented a room to celebrate our birthdays together. All our friends came over, we pre-partied and went to a club.
For some utterly stupid reason, i gave the keys to the room to one of my guy friends, who said he needed to get something. After the club, me and this girl walked back, flirting and holding hands, knowing full well after years of friendship, shit was bout to go down. We enter the room... 3 dumbass friends are plopped accross the bed passed out (nothing sexual, just sleeping). I get them out of the bed into some couches, and I still think there is a chance. As we get into bed, one of the fuckers decides to sleep walk towards the bed and just stand there. Obviously it freaks the girl out, and that's the end of it.
To this day I am friend-zoned to the MAX with my best friend, who a girl that I once considered marrying. It was instantaneous, since she met me through me dating her best friend, and I tell her all my "deeds" with other women. She says she would never do anything with me lol.
For some utterly stupid reason, i gave the keys to the room to one of my guy friends, who said he needed to get something. After the club, me and this girl walked back, flirting and holding hands, knowing full well after years of friendship, shit was bout to go down. We enter the room... 3 dumbass friends are plopped accross the bed passed out (nothing sexual, just sleeping). I get them out of the bed into some couches, and I still think there is a chance. As we get into bed, one of the fuckers decides to sleep walk towards the bed and just stand there. Obviously it freaks the girl out, and that's the end of it.
To this day I am friend-zoned to the MAX with my best friend, who a girl that I once considered marrying. It was instantaneous, since she met me through me dating her best friend, and I tell her all my "deeds" with other women. She says she would never do anything with me lol.
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