Support NeoGAF

[thetrin]

I'm single right now and content with it. I believe everyone who says "women only like assholes" and "women lie, looks are important for them" are just insecure.

Word man. High five.

 

[Izick]

well they shouldn't sit around feeling sorry for themselves. you can still be secure in yourself while realizing you have a few physical flaws.

Okay, so sometimes you (not you, but the general you as in everybody) have to realize that a lot of women aren't going to be attracted, nor interested in a relationship because of that. It's not some crippling emotional issue, it's just being a self-aware, rational person.

 

[Discotheque]

I have a doughy body, thinning hair, an unkempt beard, fish-white skin and stretch marks and I can still get young hotties, ethically.

Most of you are younger than me, many of you are probably wealthier than me.

Stop making excuses.

But we can't get easy entry into Fantastic Fest, and we don't know genre directors do we?

 

[Vermillion]

"But I'm perfect!"

As if women don't have their own preferences or mesh better with certain personalities. Sorry we don't want to fuck every guy who manages to fit some random checklist. It's projection or something I dunno. Not everyone clicks on an intimate level and it's not a grave injustice when it happens.

Probably because of that whole topic about whether or not guys and girls can be friends. You'll recall that many guys said no, and that's because if you're close enough to a girl that you find attractive, you'd might as well be going after a relationship.

For girls, it's different. Just because they may find you attractive, and you happen to be a great friend, someone they can talk to, etc., does not mean that they want to be in a relationship with you. It's probably that disconnect that makes guys think the way they do when it comes to women and friendzoning. They're thinking "I'm perfect for her, she wants someone as nice as me, why the fuck can't we be together," but the female only thinks of the guy as a friend.

Enter bitterness.

 

[Count Dookkake]

But we can't get easy entry into Fantastic Fest, and we don't know genre directors do we?

lol, but the same tricks I use to beguile women are the ones I use to talk to artists or celebrities. It is literally the same thing. Except with more sex.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

I have a doughy body, thinning hair, an unkempt beard, fish-white skin and stretch marks and I can still get young hotties, ethically.

Most of you are younger than me, many of you are probably wealthier than me.

Stop making excuses.

Yeah, but that's because of your razor-sharp wit and the waves of virility coming off your middle region.

Probably because of that whole topic about whether or not guys and girls can be friends. You'll recall that many guys said no, and that's because if you're close enough to a girl that you find attractive, you'd might as well be going after a relationship.

For girls, it's different. Just because they may find you attractive, and you happen to be a great friend, someone they can talk to, etc., does not mean that they want to be in a relationship with you. It's probably that disconnect that makes guys think the way they do when it comes to women and friendzoning. They're thinking "I'm perfect for her, she wants someone as nice as me, why the fuck can't we be together," but the female only thinks of the guy as a friend.

Enter bitterness.

Perhaps. I have a couple of friends who are girls, but I'm not about to pursue a relationship between them. I try to remain relatively detached from people in that regard. Also I may be haunted, I can never speak when I want to try to ask a girl out. Some sort of possessive mutism. But I ain't bitter. I can make girls laugh, hey that's a good day for me.

 

[Zane]

Okay, so sometimes you (not you, but the general you as in everybody) have to realize that a lot of women aren't going to be attracted, nor interested in a relationship because of that. It's not some crippling emotional issue, it's just being a self-aware, rational person.

all right? well I'm sure this hypothetical dude will eventually find someone he loves and who loves him if he has all these other great qualities you're talking about. I'm not even sure what you're arguing here.

 

[Puddles]

Look at my avatar FFS.

I get laid and I am very picky.

Do you drop puns and zingers in real life like you do on this board?

 

[Izick]

You're the one with the reading disorder. Everyone disagreeing with you has plenty of personal experience in getting laid and having partners. Everyone of those people come in various levels of attractiveness.

I said you had a personality disorder because it took you losing weight to score with women. For the shallow people, absolutely, that might have been enough. But you could have been just as successful love-wise with the weight still on had you the confidence.

You weight loss gave you an advantage. It was not crucial.

We aren't insecure; we're getting laid and have relationships and stuff.

But keep laying out them "hard truths". Nevermind the everyone else's personal and anecdotal experience contradicting your own.

So basically, everyone who says looks don't matter are "getting laid every night" (saying this on a forum with almost complete anonymity) and everyone who thinks that they are a crucial part are "whiny self-loathing, mentally deranged, insecure" losers.

Right. Solid arguments per usual.

I'm not even sure what you're arguing here.

I was saying that looks are a crucial part of attraction.

 

[Count Dookkake]

Do you drop puns and zingers in real life like you do on this board?

Sometimes. Depends on the situation. Puns are easier in writing, imo, but I like to crack a joke when the opportunity arises. If it bombs, I move on.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

So basically, everyone who says looks don't matter are "getting laid every night" (saying this on a forum with almost complete anonymity) and everyone who thinks that they are a crucial part are "whiny self-loathing, mentally deranged, insecure" losers.

Right. Solid arguments per usual.




I was saying that looks are a crucial part of attraction.

I think looks are important, but some people are putting way more stock into them than is necessary.

 

[Platy]

...i was actualy really curious what is the general feeling in the gay community about friendzones and "can't be friends with who i can fuck" stuff

 

[Puddles]

Zane, are you a girl? Straight up. I just need to know if your reaction to that picture is coming from a woman's perspective or a RiskyChris type perspective.

Man, am I the only single guy on GAF who is actually secure in who they are? There's no doubt years of dating before now that have helped, but man. Seriously? There has to be someone else here who isn't a social nutcase.

I'm single and quite happy. I dated and hooked up enough over the last few years that it's not really a massive concern of mine at the moment. More focused on increasing my knowledge and skill set right now.

 

[Ken Masters]

You're the one with the reading disorder. Everyone disagreeing with you has plenty of personal experience in getting laid and having partners. Everyone of those people come in various levels of attractiveness.

I said you had a personality disorder because it took you losing weight to score with women. For the shallow people, absolutely, that might have been enough. But you could have been just as successful love-wise with the weight still on had you the confidence.

You weight loss gave you an advantage. It was not crucial.

We aren't insecure; we're getting laid and have relationships and stuff.

But keep laying out them "hard truths". Nevermind the everyone else's personal and anecdotal experience contradicting your own.

I wasn't some sex less virgin who never touched a girl before losin weight. I had girlfriends prior to weight loss. So your point is null

I also agree confidence helps but if a girl isn't attracted to you physically it's not going to matter if you're Dave chappelle with your comedy routine or how much bravado you exert.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Zane, are you a girl? Straight up. I just need to know if your reaction to that picture is coming from a woman's perspective or a RiskyChris type perspective.

Oh wow. Now that would be an amazing twist.

I wasn't some sex less virgin who never touched a girl before losin weight. I had girlfriends prior to weight loss. So your point is null

I also agree confidence helps but if a girl isn't attracted to you physically it's not going to matter if you're Dave chappelle with your comedy routine or how much bravado you exert.

That is untruth. If you had a girlfriend before losing weight, that meant she was attracted to you, but if you were fat it meant you didn't look that good, yet she was still attracted to you. What the fuck, guy?

 

[Zane]

Zane, are you a girl? Straight up. I just need to know if your reaction to that picture is coming from a woman's perspective or a RiskyChris type perspective.

I'm a dude but I have more female friends (omg friendzone!!!) than dude friends (not by a substantial amount though) and I consider myself a feminist. I did, however, show one of my lady friends this thread the other night and she basically said the same things I'm saying now, FWIW.

 

[Devolution]

That is untruth. If you had a girlfriend before losing weight, that meant she was attracted to you, but if you were fat it meant you didn't look that good, yet she was still attracted to you. What the fuck, guy?

She was just "settling."

 

[Bay Maximus]

As I've gotten older I've realized that attraction is neither about looks nor personality, it's about penis size. Seriously. Whip that bad boy out on your next date at Starbucks/the club and see if you don't get a clear answer right then and there.

 

[Izick]

Oh wow. Now that would be an amazing twist.



That is untruth. If you had a girlfriend before losing weight, that meant she was attracted to you, but if you were fat it meant you didn't look that good, yet she was still attracted to you. What the fuck, guy?

Maybe she was overweight as well. It goes both ways.

I'm guessing he's saying that some women that were more attractive never gave him the light of day (as a possible romantic interest) when he was overweight, but completely changed after he did.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

I'm a dude but I have more female friends (omg friendzone!!!) than dude friends and I consider myself a feminist.

Oh, fuck you man. You're gonna take a stand for women cause there's no one else? Fuck you. Now you just come off as retardedly paternalistic. Women don't need you take a stand for them. I would much rather respect the words and opinion of an actual woman in response to anything I say then a single word that you would say.

She was just "settling."

Why would you settle for an ugly fat person if you didn't like him very much cause he wasn't attractive?

 

[Ether_Snake]

I was nice to a girl and haz no secks in return!!

Well that really is what the guy with the flowers and the hugging guy are thinking, deep down.

 

[Ultima_5]

Holy shit, this thread is gone off the rails. Someone needs to make an attraction/looks OT and stop screwing up other threads. Annoying as fuck to read. Everyone has their own preferences and taste. Some value physical appearance more than others. Some put more weight on financial success. Some with social connections. Everyone's different and it's as simple as that. No end all, be all rule to this stuff.


In an attempt to get things back on track, I'll tell my story. It's not particularly interesting, but might as well share. I was friend zoned by this really attractive girl in high school. It was my senior year and she was a junior. That summer we started texting and hanging out and became pretty close friends. Anyway I ended up going away to college and we still kept in contact. I started to like her and eventually told her that I was interested. She told me she didn't feel the same way back and I accepted that. Kept talking as much and what not. The next semester I started to date this one girl who eventually cheated on me with a hobo. During that relationship however, i stopped talking to my friend. I just wasn't particularly interested and i was distracted by the whole relationship thingy. After the hobo event I was of course single again. I came home that summer and my friend started texting me again and asking to hang out. She eventually started to get more flirtatious and I eventually made a move. We were make out buddies for awhile and then she asked if i wanted to become exclusive. We ended up dating for a bit less than a year and she treated me pretty crappy and now we don't talk anymore. Point of the story is, sometimes it's best to just be friends.

 

[Zane]

Oh, fuck you man. You're gonna take a stand for women cause there's no one else? Fuck you. Now you just come off as retardedly paternalistic.

or maybe I myself am offended by some of the people in this thread and I'm voicing my own opinions. I'm not "making a stand." I'm trying to get you guys to realize why your mindsets are extremely harmful and unhealthy.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Holy shit, this thread is gone off the rails. Someone needs to make an attraction/looks OT and stop screwing up other threads. Annoying as fuck to read. Everyone has their own preferences and taste. Some value physical appearance more than others. Some put more weight on financial success. Some with social connections. Everyone's different and it's as simple as that. No end all, be all rule to this stuff.


In an attempt to get things back on track, I'll tell my story. It's not particularly interesting, but might as well share. I was friend zoned by this really attractive girl in high school. It was my senior year and she was a junior. That summer we started texting and hanging out and became pretty close friends. Anyway I ended up going away to college and we still kept in contact. I started to like her and eventually told her that I was interested. She told me she didn't feel the same way back and I accepted that. Kept talking as much and what not. The next semester I started to date this one girl who eventually cheated on me with a hobo. During that relationship however, i stopped talking to my friend. I just wasn't particularly interested and i was distracted by the whole relationship thingy. After the hobo event I was of course single again. I came home that summer and my friend started texting me again and asking to hang out. She eventually started to get more flirtatious and I eventually made a move. We were make out buddies for awhile and then she asked if i wanted to become exclusive. We ended up dating for a bit less than a year and she treated me pretty crappy and now we don't talk anymore. Point of the story is, sometimes it's best to just be friends.

How the fuck did that happen!?

 

[Puddles]

Oh, fuck you man. You're gonna take a stand for women cause there's no one else? Fuck you. Now you just come off as retardedly paternalistic.

I think what he's doing is trying to encourage guys to snap out of unhealthy mindsets.

 

[B!TCH]

Let's be totally honest. Most guys that get friend zoned are NOT any of those things. They're mostly self absorbed, don't know how to reciprocate feelings properly, and feel like the woman in question owes them something.

"Nice guys" are often not nice at all.

Or it could just be that the object of their affection isn't attracted to them because they aren't the person they want.

Feeling entitled to a relationship with a pretty girl/boy just because you held a door open for her/him is one thing, but assuming you are well adjusted socially, I don't see why the "friendzoned" folks tend to over-think relationships to the point that they take rejection as if it is a deeper reflection of who they are as a person that they can't quite fully grasp yet. For most people, chances are, you are "good enough" the way you are, but haven't met that person who likes you for who you are (or you are overlooking them because you are only chasing after a certain "type"). Self improvement should always be the goal regardless and especially if you aren't happy with the person you are at present, but don't make the mistake of thinking that people who are in relationships are these perfect human beings with few to no faults at all.

Ken Masters seems to believe he's become better with women simply because he lost weight. Ironically it could've potentially made him less likable for some women as yes, you're absolutely correct, physical attraction can't be measured objectively.

I don't believe he said he became better with women because he lost weight, as I read it, it sounded like he started getting more attention from women after he lost weight. Maybe he was more confident after losing weight, maybe his voice got a little deeper and didn't realize it, but the point is that whatever these intangibles were in addition to the way he looked increased his overall physical attractiveness to the women around him. I don't know, it sounds like some people here are creating an unfair strawman out of something that shouldn't be a contentious matter at all.

 

[CHEEZMO™]

Oh, fuck you man. You're gonna take a stand for women cause there's no one else? Fuck you. Now you just come off as retardedly paternalistic. Women don't need you take a stand for them. I would much rather respect the words and opinion of an actual woman in response to anything I say then a single word that you would say.

what the fuck is this?

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

I think what he's doing is trying to encourage guys to snap out of unhealthy mindsets.

Well that's fine, but he does a stupid way of going about that. He just sounds 'holier than thou' because evidently he's a feminist who is all for women's rights and most of the rest of people here are just misogynist and he needs to stand up for women for them.

what the fuck is this?

He ruined comedy for me. He has to pay.

 

[Platy]

People need to understand that most men when search for a date are thinking of this

and most women are thinking of this

As I've gotten older I've realized that attraction is neither about looks nor personality, it's about penis size. Seriously. Whip that bad boy out on your next date at Starbucks/the club and see if you don't get a clear answer right then and there.

So ....if she goes away it is not because you are flashing your penis in public like a perverted crazy dude, it is because you have a small dick?

Tell me about the experiments that lead to this discovery

 

[Vermillion]

Oh God, this thread, lmao.

I feel like I had something to do with this, though.

 

[Ken Masters]

She was just "settling."

She probably was, neither of us were exactly the cream of the crop


Under most circumstances, I said MOST not ALL, you will see couples that are in each others physical "league". Thats the reality. And I know looks are subjective so spare me that talk, but for most humans someone like Penelope Cruz is deemed to be attractive.

 

[Glorified G]

or maybe I myself am offended by some of the people in this thread and I'm voicing my own opinions.

Some people decided to laugh at a harmless pic on the internet and you decided to be a bitch about it and rage against "misogyny" when there wasn't any for your own ego.

 

[Ultima_5]

How the fuck did that happen!?

She was walking back to her dorm around 3pm and a 'drifter' offered her whiskey. She got incredibly drunk and said she 'only made out with him.' She called me an hour or two later and said she needed help. She was pretty blacked out so I helped her get to her dorm and what not. She then told me. I would have broken up with her then, but she was pretty psychotic and had attempted suicide the prior semester so I figured I would do it when she sobered up so I just went home. The next morning she sent me a text saying we should start seeing other people.

 

[Vermillion]

The people who outrage over something they don't understand are honestly the worst. I'd prefer to hear the opinions of the actual females, as well.

White guilt, meet male guilt.

 

[Zane]

Some people decided to laugh at a harmless pic on the internet and you decided to be a bitch about it and rage against "misogyny" when there wasn't any for your own ego.

There is no possibly way an image like that can be harmless. It encourages harmful attitudes.

Well that's fine, but he does a stupid way of going about that. He just sounds 'holier than thou' because evidently he's a feminist who is all for women's rights and most of the rest of people here are just misogynist and he needs to stand up for women for them.

I'm not "standing up for women" because the idea that women need a big strong dudebro to speak up for them is something else that's harmful. I am, however, trying to make you understand how images like that as well as the mindsets they encourage can be offensive.

 

[Ultima_5]

The people who outrage over something they don't understand are honestly the worst. I'd prefer to hear the opinions of the actual females, as well.

White guilt, meet male guilt.

I agree with this post.

Plus i'm against excessive use of caps

There is no possibly way an image like that can be harmless. It encourages harmful attitudes.

I'm not "standing up for women" because the idea that women need a big strong dudebro to speak up for them is something else that's harmful. I am, however, trying to make you understand how images like that as well as the mindsets they encourage can be offensive.

Do you get this upset when men are portrayed as mindless bumbling football watching drones on the majority of sitcoms and television ads?

 

[Count Dookkake]

I am not offended by the pic, but it is predicated on a falsehood. Comedy works better with truth.

 

[Ken Masters]

The pic is inherently flawed because it's assuming the guy meets all criteria mentioned, including being beautiful

I don't know why you guys are wasting your time talking about that dumb pic

 

[Zane]

Do you get this upset when men are portrayed as mindless bumbling football watching drones on the majority of sitcoms and television ads?

um, obviously? I mean that seems to me like another direct influence of the patriarchy.

 

[Izick]

I agree with this post.

Plus i'm against excessive use of caps

this offends me so fucking much. YOU ARE NOT ENTITLED TO LOWERCASE LETTERS. A GAFFER HAS EVERY RIGHT TO FUCKING POST IN ALL CAPS. ANYONE WHO LOOKS AT THIS QUOTE AND GOES "heh so true" YOU ARE A PIECE OF SHIT. STOP FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELVES AND WORK ON READING ALL CAP POSTS. IF YOU TOOK HALF THE EFFORT YOU SPEND ON WHINING ABOUT ALL CAP'S AND SPENT IT ON ACTUALLY WRITING IN ALL CAPS YOURSELF, YOU'D PROBABLY BE HAVING MUCH BETTER LUCK

JESUS CHRIST FUCK

 

[miksar]

I wasn't some sex less virgin who never touched a girl before losin weight. I had girlfriends prior to weight loss. So your point is null

I also agree confidence helps but if a girl isn't attracted to you physically it's not going to matter if you're Dave chappelle with your comedy routine or how much bravado you exert.

If your bravado is faked it is not going to. Pretense has nothing to do with confidence.

 

[Zane]

this offends me so fucking much. YOU ARE NOT ENTITLED TO LOWERCASE LETTERS. A GAFFER HAS EVERY RIGHT TO FUCKING POST IN ALL CAPS. ANYONE WHO LOOKS AT THIS QUOTE AND GOES "heh so true" YOU ARE A PIECE OF SHIT. STOP FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELVES AND WORK ON READING ALL CAPS. IF YOU TOOK HALF THE EFFORT YOU SPEND ON WHINING ABOUT ALL CAP'S AND SPENT IT ON ACTUALLY WRITING IN ALL CAPS YOURSELF, YOU'D PROBABLY BE HAVING MUCH BETTER LUCK

JESUS CHRIST FUCK

is a gaffer not entitled to the sweat of his neckbeard

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

I'm not "standing up for women" because the idea that women need a big strong dudebro to speak up for them is something else that's harmful. I am, however, trying to make you understand how images like that as well as the mindsets they encourage can be offensive.

I don't need you to try to make me understand anything. I respect women, I like most of the women I know in my life, I don't treat women women like shit nor do I treat them like goddesses (only the future love of my life would be treated like that), I treat them like people. Because I found an image funny, does not make me sexist. If I found a comedy strip about black people funny, it does not make me racist. If I found one about old people, I am not ageist, and so on. I don't need you to tell me what is or is not offensive, I am perfectly aware. Also, I prefer not to live my life by having to walk around on eggshells around everyone. Humour may be offensive, but that doesn't make the people who enjoy certain kinds of humour misogynistic. I agree, having that as a mindset is offensive and damaging, but I don't need you to tell me that or try to shame me because I found it funny. Because I find that offensive.

this offends me so fucking much. YOU ARE NOT ENTITLED TO LOWERCASE LETTERS. A GAFFER HAS EVERY RIGHT TO FUCKING POST IN ALL CAPS. ANYONE WHO LOOKS AT THIS QUOTE AND GOES "heh so true" YOU ARE A PIECE OF SHIT. STOP FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELVES AND WORK ON READING ALL CAP POSTS. IF YOU TOOK HALF THE EFFORT YOU SPEND ON WHINING ABOUT ALL CAP'S AND SPENT IT ON ACTUALLY WRITING IN ALL CAPS YOURSELF, YOU'D PROBABLY BE HAVING MUCH BETTER LUCK

JESUS CHRIST FUCK

is a gaffer not entitled to the sweat of his neckbeard

 

[cdyhybrid]

did you find it funny in a "it's funny because it's true" way?

I found it funny because it made you flip out.

 

[-x.Red.x-]

this offends me so fucking much. YOU ARE NOT ENTITLED TO LOWERCASE LETTERS. A GAFFER HAS EVERY RIGHT TO FUCKING POST IN ALL CAPS. ANYONE WHO LOOKS AT THIS QUOTE AND GOES "heh so true" YOU ARE A PIECE OF SHIT. STOP FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELVES AND WORK ON READING ALL CAP POSTS. IF YOU TOOK HALF THE EFFORT YOU SPEND ON WHINING ABOUT ALL CAP'S AND SPENT IT ON ACTUALLY WRITING IN ALL CAPS YOURSELF, YOU'D PROBABLY BE HAVING MUCH BETTER LUCK

JESUS CHRIST FUCK

:jnx

 

[Zane]

I don't need you to try to make me understand anything. I respect women, I like most of the women I know in my life, I don't treat women women like shit nor do I treat them like goddesses (only the future love of my life would be treated like that), I treat them like people. Because I found an image funny, does not make me sexist. If I found a comedy strip about black people funny, it does not make me racist. If I found one about old people, I am not ageist, and so on. I don't need you to tell me what is or is not offensive, I am perfectly aware. Also, I prefer not to live my life by having to walk around on eggshells around everyone. Humour may be offensive, but that doesn't make the people who enjoy certain kinds of humour misogynistic. I agree, having that as a mindset is offensive and damaging, but I don't need you to tell me that or try to shame me because I found it funny. Because I find that offensive.

It depends entirely on why you find it funny I suppose. I'd argue that if you found it funny because if you agreed with its message (this is what I assumed at first, if it's not the case I apologize), then you have some issues you need to work out.

 

[Ultima_5]

:jnx

I miss that.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

It depends entirely on why you find it funny I suppose. I'd argue that if you found it funny because if you agreed with its message (this is what I assumed at first, if it's not the case I apologize), then you have some issues you need to work out.

Isn't it possible that I don't agree with the message and can still find it funny?

Hey man, I have my issues, but sexism and entitlement issues aren't in the list.

 

[Zane]

Isn't it possible that I don't agree with the message and can still find it funny?

Hey man, I have my issues, but sexism and entitlement issues aren't in the list.

yeah if you don't agree with the message, then I apologize. I still think posting images like that should be discouraged though and I'm disappointed I was the first to say something about it.

 

[Puddles]

I am not offended by the pic, but it is predicated on a falsehood. Comedy works better with truth.

Are you saying that the guys in this thread aren't all beautiful, caring, smart, passionate, loving, and understanding?