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[Amir0x]

I think there's something incredibly hot about having sex with relatives.

Heh.

Ok Another secret. I once shoved a model rocket up my own ass... And it
was definetly in a sexual manner. I guess sometimes I wonder about my own
sexuality. When I was younger I did quite a bit of "experimenting"
with other guys. That combined with my inability to get teh womens makes me
sometimes wonder. But im not turned on by the cock so I guess im straight. No
no no I am straight.

.

[at Amir0x] go back to torch the bridge, fag

LOL Matlock and/or demi.

A couple weeks ago I stuck my finger up my ass for the first time. I guess I was just really horny, and I've always wanted to have a prostate orgasm. I tried twice, both times with vaseline for a smooth entry. The second time I went even deeper than the first, and I wiggled it around and rubbed the side where my prostate is supposed to be while I played with myself. I felt oh so naughty. I don't think it improved my orgasm any, but it was kind of an interested feeling. Pulling it out was a really weird feeling, it felt like my butthole was shooting my finger out. It smelled really funny afterwards, but I was surprised to not see any traces of poo on my fingers. Maybe I'll try again sometime, although my hopes of an immense, amazing prostate orgasm left me disappointed.

Fake? If you are sending fake ones, let's try to get back on track. Some of them are very borderline and hard to tell. I had to delete a few.

guys i wouldn't commit suicide because that's not the christian way,
besides kung fu keeps me warm at night when no woman can

:lol

As a result of an ill-fated night of drinking in Nagasaki, I inadvertantly
killed 2 Japanese kids on a scooter. I was taking a bus tour and they were
riding behind us. I wanted to take a photo of them so I told them to pull up
beside the bus in the opposing traffic lane. I yelled a few things in Japanese
and pull out my camera. Sometime in the 1 second after I snapped the photo, a
bus hit them. We heard about the two of them on the news the next day. All the
people I was with that night have all sworn secrecy and I still have the photo.
It's haunting.

creeeeeepy

When I was in high school I was huge. I used to weigh like 240 lbs and
actually had breasts.

My senior year in college, I met another senior that was a body builder and did
some personal workout training on the side. We became friends and with his help
I lost all the fat and look really fit.

Now the secret. Since I lost all the weight, I've become very jaded about the
attention I get now when I was ignored completely as a fatty. I treat women like
dirt because they are just as shallow as men, if not more. My secret is that
I'm so jaded that I've actually date raped about three girls since losing
weight. One was really beautiful too and I kind of regret raping her. She was
only a college freshman. We never talked after the rape but I really regret
doing that to her. She never looked the same and always seems sad when I see
her.

...

Death is just the begining i hope

I've wanted to die for a long time. My family hates me and i'm just a
bother to them. So i try to live my life as best as i can. Even though knowing
one day i'll blow my brains out cause i'm not good enough for anyone in this
world. My heart bleeds yet no one cares.

 

[Ash Housewares]

was the thread in the other forum as big a downer as this one?

 

[BlueTsunami]

was the thread in the other forum as big a downer as this one?

To serious..but eye opening...can't wait for more incest secrets

 

[Soul4ger]

Well, sheesh, I doubt people keep amazingly happy secrets hidden..

To serious..but eye opening...can't wait for more incest secrets

You're the one who finds having sex with relatives hot, aren't you?

 

[Amir0x]

I've been (and still) waiting for my account to be activated and still
can't post. Well, must be moderator's december break.

For the mood to be lightened! Dunno how it's a secret though... :lol

I once killed an innocent crow with a rock just to know that I could do it.
It happened when I was maybe 10 years old but I still feel very guilty about it.
When my parents found the carcass in our back yard I told them the cat did it.

Hm. Future serial killer?

I've got a hot cousin. She's 16 or so, and I'm 20ish.

When I was 14 or 15 I used to always play games with her that involved a lot of
physical contact, because she made me hard.

I'm fucking disgusted by it now. Repulsed.

...

I'm gay and out in my general life, even though I'm not out on the forum.
I'm HIV-negative and am tested regularly, and always use protection, but I have
sex with way too many guys for my own good. I don't even keep count any more,
but it's over 100 by now. For better or worse, I'm pretty much a slut, even
though I don't feel bad about it or lose sleep about it. I could go into more
detail, if it wouldn't make half the forum vomit, but if you can imagine it, I
am sure I've done it.

Heh. We have a gay slut here, awesome.

No, not a fake. I really did stick my finger up my ass. I don't know why that's so hard to believe....after ten years of experiencing the same old boring orgasm, the promise of the greatness of a prostate orgasm was just too tempting. Of course, that was 20 or so minutes after touching myself, and I get in the mood for crazier shit when I'm in that state of mind. I sure don't feel like sticking my finger up my ass right now.

heh

 

[BlueTsunami]

You're the one who finds having sex with relatives hot, aren't you?

>.>

 

[Willco]

HOLY SHIT OLIMARIO IS A DATE RAPIST!

 

[VALIS]

Half of GAF is depressed and lonely and the other half are screwing their relatives. The latter half were probably the depressed and lonely ones last year.

Half hour later: A third of GAF is depressed and lonely, one third are screwing their relatives and the other third are sticking random objects up their ass. The latter two groups were probably the depressed and lonely ones last year.

 

[Ash Housewares]

those were some interesting ones, just been too much suicide talk in the past week is all

there are alot of hot cousin lovers, I mean, not everyone with a hot cousin is obsessed over them right?

/has a hot cousin

 

[Amir0x]

I love women who dress well and wear nice lingerie. I love wearing the
lingerie too. I've often stolen lingerie from women I've dated to wear and
masturbate into

.

Continuation about the girl that doesnt love:

I've given her my life. My love and the one thing i havent given to her yet is a ring. Current price tag on my relationship just hit $215,000. My life savings, my stocks, almost everything. I cant bare to give her the ring. But i just want a sign that she does love me. Thats all i want for christmas. Is a sign that she loves me. I'm just making it by with my job and playing poker online. I have to move soon, but i wont till i get that sign.... I'll be waiting for a while i think.

.

one time my girlfriend tripped on shrooms and flushed my turtle down the
toilet. that caused trouble for about a day until the plumber took care of it

i loved that turtle

Drugs are bad, mmkay!

I've been reading GAF for more than a year without even bothering to
register and participate in the community.

Another LURKER/NON-REGISTERED. What freaks

I actually want an xbox 360, and not to sell it on ebay. I'm so ashamed.

:lol

The thread's getting sad, so here you go. I've mastered the art of the
preemptive hug. I was on a blind date due to one of those internet rating sites.
I met this chick (and by the way, chicks ALWAYS use inaccurate photos of
themselves) and she wasn't half as cute as the picture she put up. She was also
built like a tank. She was so desparate to get laid after the movie that she was
rubbing her tits into my arms as we were leaving the theater. I knew that I
didn't wanna see her naked, at all, as I leave it up to Greenpeace to keep
sea-mammals wet. So, in a moment of brilliance, as she was coming in to
kiss/rape me, I reached out and gave her an awesome, tight hug, and said how
much fun I had. I said goodnight, and thereby avoided all awkwardness or
backpain which could have ensued, simply by using my blind date Bush Doctrine--
preemptive hug before they get any ideas.

Ooooookay.

I want to fuck my boyfriend. He likes it when i put a finger in his ass. So
he should like a strap on right? I want to explore it further. Being only 5 feet
tall really might make it hard. But i want to.

.

Collaborated with a now-oldschool GAF guy to pull that "broken images
that get mods to unknowingly delete threads" attack that OA underwent a
couple years ago on ezboards. Only fuckup was repeatedly attempting to get it
working on the delete forum command, but that didn't work and let others figure
out what was going on. Should have just let it do every thread one by one. After
I got my cheap laughs I emailed both GAF and ezboard admins so they'd secure
the exploit used.

This wasn't the first time either. The other guy and I had some fun with
javascript on other forums in the past, but none that did actual damage. Since
outgrown the need to pull such pranks and got a life. Kind of.

Ohohoh, now THIS one I'm curious about...

 

[Ash Housewares]

Another LURKER/NON-REGISTERED. What freaks

those guys creep me out, they just watch...

I want to fuck my boyfriend. He likes it when i put a finger in his ass. So
he should like a strap on right? I want to explore it further. Being only 5 feet
tall really might make it hard. But i want to.

ooh, theres a juicy one

 

[Hyoushi]

I want to fuck my boyfriend. He likes it when i put a finger in his ass. So
he should like a strap on right? I want to explore it further. Being only 5 feet
tall really might make it hard. But i want to.

Hehe, someone's been reading the Pictures thread for Oli trivia.

 

[Soul4ger]

those guys creep me out, they just watch...

I dunno. I know some people that dare registered, but don't post. They're just afraid of the abuse, I think. Pansies, not freaks.

 

[Wafflecopter]

Some of these are fucking hilarious. Others are.........completely disturbing

 

[MaverickX9]

Collaborated with a now-oldschool GAF guy to pull that "broken images
that get mods to unknowingly delete threads" attack that OA underwent a
couple years ago on ezboards. Only fuckup was repeatedly attempting to get it
working on the delete forum command, but that didn't work and let others figure
out what was going on. Should have just let it do every thread one by one. After
I got my cheap laughs I emailed both GAF and ezboard admins so they'd secure
the exploit used.

This wasn't the first time either. The other guy and I had some fun with
javascript on other forums in the past, but none that did actual damage. Since
outgrown the need to pull such pranks and got a life. Kind of.

Boogie, you bastard.

 

[Ash Housewares]

I dunno. I know some people that dare registered, but don't post. They're just afraid of the abuse, I think. Pansies, not freaks.

lurkers creep me out on any forum, we're all of us still alive

I'm no worse for wear and I'm fragile

 

[Amir0x]

I sometimes wonder abotu my sexuality. My story is similiar to the secret
posted previously.

I've always had a fascination with my asshole. When I was younger I used to
experiment with stcking my finger up my ass. The feeling was somewhat
pleasurable, especially during masturbation, so I eventually went on to other
things.

I used a sharpie marker for awhile because it was longer than my finder. I once
even used a cucumber. The worst part about that cucumber was I washed it off and
put it back in the fridge when I was done. I enjoy the feeling of an object in
my ass, but I don't know how it effects my secuality. Gay porn does nothing for
me, and I've got no problems screwing my girlfriend.

I also have a big fascination with playing with my poop. If I'm having a stiff
and solid poop, I sometimes reach between my legs and break parts of it off and
drop them in the toilet water. I've gone so far as to poop a bit into my hand
in my room and leave the poop sitting on a desk or whatever until I'm ready to
go to the bathroom and flush it. The smell of the poop doesn't bother me too
much, and I've even let the poop dry out and harden for a few days.

.

Iloveredscarlett@hotmail.com

UH oh...

i like chicks in wheelchairs

.

The forum thinks I'm a male and for the most part, so does the whole
world. I live my life as a male but I actually have both male and female
genitals and am classified as a true hermaphrodite.

.

I often think about going on a shooting spree.

 

[Wafflecopter]

What's with the ass fetishes?

 

[Red Blaster]

Oh dear...

 

[hXc_thugg]

What's with the ass fetishes?

The male g-spot can only be stimulated anally, yo

 

[Soul4ger]

I often think about going on a shooting spree.

You are not alone, sir. I get so frustrated with people sometimes, I just wanna jump the car on the curb and run a bunch of them over.

 

[Amir0x]

I think most people in the world are misguided and their vision is clouded.
There are some people more enlightenend, people who've peeked at the truth, but
never quite got to it.

I also think that time exists as a real dimension on an axis, just as any of the
3 spatial dimentions do. Our brains are mainly capable of perceiving a steady,
one-directional movement along this axis. But sometimes -- under very special
circumstances -- we can get to perceive it at a different rate. This is part of
what athletes (hell, even some gamers) call "being in the zone." You
get a sense of things moving in slow motion. I believe this is because you\'re
working some previously unworked part of your brain, of your subconscious, that
can perceive time in a different way.

Sometimes, very rarely, however, people can even get a glimpse into the future.
My girlfriend's mom had a really hard time getting together with her now
husband back when she was a teenager. Their circumstances were very trying, and
she basically had to give up everything to marry him. Before doing it, she asked
for "a sign from God" to confirm that she should. But she asked for
something specific -- a red rose. The next day she had a visit from her uncle,
who brought her a red rose. Her uncle did not have a habit of brining single
roses, nor had she any other reason to think she would actually see one.

I believe there were some very rare circumstances, perhaps her strong emotions
waking up a certain part of her brain, which allowed her to glimpse further
along on time's axis and she knew the rose was coming.

I also believe that people who just wake up, go to work, go hang out at a bar,
etc., go home, sleep, and go to work are not doing anything with their lives. I
don't think that they are stupid for doing so, but I do think they are under an
illusion.

.

Amir0x, you've got a moustache that makes you look like one of those poor
dirty 13 year old kids trying to look cool.

I'm basing this on the pictures you took in the DQ8 keychain thread.

It's true! But basically i'm a PuertoJewcan who is so hairy and refuses to shave his face!

I'm the dude who likes womens clothing again: I've masturbated to
fiction on the internet that describes crossdessing. Also, you meet certain
freaky chicks who are into what I do, and that's a huge turn on. Sometimes, I
can't climax unless I think about womens clothing. She-males are also
incredible interesting. I get repulsed by any that look in any way like men. I
want to hire this escort one day : www.efe2003.com

.

Maybe this will lighten the mood a little bit and get us off the incest/sex
track. And yes it's true.

I have always hated peeing at urinals in public restrooms. There is something
about the fact that another dude could potentially see me pissing that freaks me
out. Recently, though, I've been able to start peeing at the urinals at work.
Mostly when nobody else is in there; but a few times I've been able to go even
when a guy is in the next stall. Here's the worst/best part: I'm kind of proud
of myself for this.

.

I already tasted my own load with my first girlfriend. I wondered why she
was always complaining about eating it, until the day she kissed me while she
still had some in her mouth. From that day, I finally understood why girls
don't (most of the time) wanna do it. It's like salted water.

.

I tracked down a few members of GAF and they have no idea who I am on GAF,
or that I even know who they are. I usually introduce myself as a friend of
so-and-so and start talking to them. I don't know if I should even mention some
of the people I've met. I'm sure some would remember me as I still talk to a
few in person.

a GAF stalker. IF ANY OF YOU SHOW UP AT MY DOOR I SHOOT ON SIGHT

i'm a lurker and i love gaf, Hi guys. I just dont like the girls on here.
None of them are nice. Lemurs is a bitch. But you didnt hear me say that. I wish
more girls were here. Cause i love video games just as much as you guys. I'll
continue to lurk.

 

[Ash Housewares]

I often think about going on a shooting spree.

well you don't go to jail for thinking

*calls the cops*

Freud would attribute anal fixation to inability to resolve the conflicts of the anal stage of psychosexual development; any issues that arrived during toilet training could potentially cause either an increased awareness or pleasure from the movement of the bowels or a fixation on detail and routine of excretion

now I don't take Freud too seriously, but I do get what he says about the oral stage, so he might be on to something

 

[Callo Merlose]

http://grouphug.us

 

[Amir0x]

I was the lead designer on God of War!

Oh, the shame!

:lol

I've kicked my dog a number of time, though I always held back while doing
it. Each tme I did it I felt like shit.

.

About Ash Housewares post : I sure want to write too and not just be a
watcher, but everytime I try to post a reply, it shows me the error "If
you are trying to post, the administrator may have disabled your account, or it
may be awaiting activation.". And I know it has not been disabled, they
never sent me a confirmation email or even bothered to activate my account. And
god knows I want to participate. Thanks anyway.

- The lurker

Ok, this is not a place to post GAF ACCOUNT problems. E-mail actual GAF staff for that

you BROKE my THREAD

do me a favore...

call Amir0x
adress: mods, GAF, Internet 1
tell them to go down past the owls and the : lol faces.
im so sorry<3

<3

This isn't much of a secret, but I think it's worth telling.

I truly wish for a zombie apocolypse. I want nothing more in life than to live
in a world where I could join a band of raiders and go around looting and
killing zombies as I pleased.

Zombie apocalypse ftw

I wish for nothing more but to be alive during the next world war. I don't know why, but it's my dream. I just want to be alive when the world changes in such a drastic way. So like in 60 years i can say to my grandchildren 'i fucking saw that'

.

I despise my fucking friends. I have even imagined beating the shit out of them, or worse. I have tried suicide twice. Both because of girlfriends. I took a bottle of pills the second time and there was never as big of a disappointed moment in my life then when I woke up, still alive and fucking sick. I am no longer attempt suicide, probably because I suck ass at it . Sorry about your girlfriend man. That is really fucked up.

 

[Wafflecopter]

Where's the comment for mine

 

[Ash Housewares]

About Ash Housewares post : I sure want to write too and not just be a
watcher, but everytime I try to post a reply, it shows me the error "If
you are trying to post, the administrator may have disabled your account, or it
may be awaiting activation.". And I know it has not been disabled, they
never sent me a confirmation email or even bothered to activate my account. And
god knows I want to participate. Thanks anyway.

- The lurker

Oh God they're trying to get in!!!

I could go for the zombie apocalypse, I'll meet you guys at S-Mart

 

[Joates]

Which one was yours???

 

[Red Blaster]

Zombie Apocalypse reminds me of how I wanted to start a jetski gang in sunken New Orleans where I would have gills and my jetski would be guitar powered.

 

[B'z-chan]

Jesus some of you are just fucking nuts.

 

[kablooey]

Damn, this thread is depressing.

 

[Joates]

I was acually wanting to go down to NO and start a gondola service. I would imagine itd be profitable. Anyone that wants to come please let me know

 

[Wafflecopter]

Some of you are fucking nuts

 

[bjork]

What the hell? I still talk to Serafitia.

...or should I send that as an anonymous email.

 

[Amir0x]

Vaan attracts me.

Hahaha

It's kinda sad, ya know? I'm curious, with all the ass talk, but I had
some ass trouble, had to have some parts removed, and now I can't put anything
up my ass without risking death by internal bleeding. I FEEL SO DEPRIVED.

What did you have removed?

I've masturbated to the pictures and videos of people dead, dying, or
severely hurt on sites like *edited out*

.

I'm kinda hoping that by sending this, someone can actually give me advice
anonymously.

I don't know how to masturbate. It's not like they have training manuals on it
but I don't really have an excuse. I rub my dick all the time but I always cum
in my underware. They're actually a little yellow in the front from the stains.
I don't know any other way to do it. I can't get hard if I masturbate without
my underware on.

Probably fake, but just in case.

There's a girl on the forum I fantasize about. She hasn't posted alot
pictures but ive saved the ones she has. She's older than me but i dun care.
I dont have the guts to pm her. Hope she reads this.

GAF LOVE CONNECTION.

I don't like to pee in front of other dudes either, and sometimes, I just
can't I usually just use a stall, where I can have something resembling
privacy.

.

I'm a high-functioning autistic

That's an interesting one. Would really like to know who this is... when I lived with my mom she did foster care and we took care of an autistic kid.

I'm not gay, but once I met a dude at the campus bookstore.

It ended at his place with me slobbering all over him + giving him a
hand job and getting a blow job from him.

I liked it, but at the same time this is just an event in my life I enjoy
blocking out of my memory.

.

I still watch hentai movies and masturbate doing so.

.

Several years ago I went on a 3-week long Outward Bound trip through the Gila of New Mexico in July. It wasn't anything like I expected it to be, the weather was pure shit, my legs literally felt like they were going to burst after hours of walking, and I had a hard time connecting with the rest of the group and being a "team player" thanks to my social ineptitude. It was a miserable experience.

A week into it faked a sprained angle and got out when the group met up with the supply crew. I had to fake a sprained ankle for two days, including at the doctor's office. $3000 and weeks of planning, preperation and driving to NM wasted, not to mention feeling like a total failure. I've always been ashamed of it, and I've never told anyone.

Oh, and I'm a virgin.

 

[etiolate]

Fake? If you are sending fake ones, let's try to get back on track. Some of them are very borderline and hard to tell. I had to delete a few.

Uhm, 90% of these are fake and obviously so.

 

[Ash Housewares]

@the guys

I don't want to watch you pee, do you want to watch a guy pee? if you don't want to watch a guy pee why do you think they want to watch you?

all the same, I'm still a little gunshy around troughs

 

[malek4980]

Uhm, 90% of these are fake and obviously so.

wishful thinking?

 

[CabbageRed]

Some of you are fucking nuts

You know, Boogie is being blamed for a lot of these. I think if we simply blame him for all of them, we can go on posting like this thread never happened.

 

[Amir0x]

I am working on genetically changing people's hair color. Where i work
at/for is cool. But i want to share with you guys the problems. We cant get the
color to show up in specific areas. We have this one girl that has streaks of
pink hair, and a pink bush. She didnt want to tell us but one of our employees
found out. Fucking lesbian's we got too many here in euroland.

Another problem was when someones nose grew a bunch of hair. It was early on in
the project three years ago. But it was funny. Everyone thought he had a beard.
But it was all nose hair.

WTF?

I've cheated on my girlfriend with two different girls. I know I don't
want to be with her and yet I let it draw out just for the easy sex.

.

When my first and only serious long term relationship ended I basically
ended up stalking my ex. We had lived together, and outward appearances made it
look like I was still a good guy so she never asked for the house key back.
However, when I knew she wasn't home I would go back to her place and check her
email to see if she was seeing anyone else. I was so disturbed and lonely I
would grab a pile of her clothes and just breathe in deep thinking of all the
times now lost. It got so bad that I would do this almost daily. When she
started to date someone else seriously I was crushed. I started sneaking into
her place to find an empty bottle of wine on the counter and an email to her
friend talking about how amazing the sex was. Whenever I was brought up in the
emails it was even worse than hearing her new guy fucked her better than I ever
did. She would say how awkward I am/was, and how she couldn't tell me any of
this because she knew I would flip out. I turned my surprisingly good stalking
abilities to figuring out who this guy was. My ex had left her phone home one
day and I went through and found this guys number. Using a couple of free sites
on the internet I was able to find out where he lives, what he did for a living,
what kind of vehicle he drives. Now instead of going in and reading emails I
would cruise by her place and if she wasn't home I would stalk them out
wherever they were. I was never spotted and I never did anything beyond just
finding them. The worst was swinging by her place only to hear the sounds of
them having sex through the open window. It was shortly after that happened that
I decided that I had my fill of self torture. I had been pressing my luck
anyways. Although when I turned in my stalking ways, I had never been caught.

I was most surprised with how good I was at all of this though. It felt like the
bottom had fallen out on my sense of what was right and wrong. All that mattered
was staying a part of her life, and finding out what she wouldn’t tell me
anymore. Everything served that purpose and I was frightfully good at doing it.
Still, it wasn’t the same obviously. I had wanted to keep myself informed of her
thoughts, like how we would when we would talk while lying in each others arms.
No amount of snooping could replace that, and I finally realized that one day.

I haven’t been with anyone since, nor have I even dated anyone. Not like any one
has offered, or any advances I've made towards women have panned out. It has
been years since we broke up. I've given up on stalking her, but think about
going back to it sometimes. We've lost touch with each other and I still think
about her every day. I'm beyond getting back together with her, although I'd
jump at the opportunity in a heartbeat. I just miss having the friendship at
this point. She was probably the best person I've ever met in my life, and
I've shared my soul with her. Now I don't even know how she is doing in the
most basic of ways. Irony can be a bitch sometimes. Or maybe it is simply
karma?

I'm optimistic sometimes. Age is creeping up on me and time is doing me no
favors in the looks department. Also some of what I read about my sexual prowess
and emotional state has left me a bit shaken when it comes to self confidence. I
do believe that I could have another successful relationship, maybe not even a
long term one. At this point, I just need a decent couple of week to a month
long relationship to put some distance between some of the things that have
happened from all of this. Even if I should never date, or love again… They say
it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. From where
I am sitting now... I find it hard to argue with that.

.

I don't know what to get bune duggy for the secret santa thread. Here's
what he said:
"??? I dunno. Surprise me. Your favorite CD/DVD(R1)?"

I've got to post this anonymously, or it'll get back to him who said it.

I really wish he would have just said what he wanted. Would make this whole
thing much easier for me.

.

The last time I was on a plane I wanted it to crash. I thought it would
fun to try to withstand the impact. Its not like I thought Id live throught it
or anything, I just thought it would have been really fucking fun.

.

GAF is for me a way to express my videogaming feelings. It's a very
enjoyable experience, and an especially good one to be a little bit known before
entering this ever-growing market as a journalist. Fanboys and trolls aside, GAF
is - I'll say it - one of the coolest community on the world wide web to play a
part in.

 

[Fifty]

I'm amazed you've recieved so many emails in just a few hours.

 

[Spencerr]

Wow... .. . . .

 

[Amir0x]

Fifty: Me too. I thought doing it early in the morning would make it start slow, but christ.

I can tell you i posted two of my own secrets in this thread and both were real. Try to figure 'em out if you want!

Some of these seem pretty obviously jokes, but half the fun is in discernment!

For some reason I've always really wanted hitokage to post a picture of himself so I can see what he looks like. I don't know why. That guy's a fucking brainiac, though. I love it when he pops into a thread and shits all over some gaf right-wing loony/fundie idiot.

.

no joke. when I was like 11 or 12 i once cried in my bed because i found
the ending to megaman x to be sad

:lol

FREE DEMI!

I know where you sleep.

I know what you eat.

I READ YOUR SECRETS FOR FUCK\'S SAKE.

I KNOW EVERYTHING.

SHOUTA LIKES MAGNA CARTA!!!1

FREE DEMI
FREE DEMI
FREE DEMI
FREE DEMI
FREE DEMI
FREE DEMI
FREE DEMI

meeble meeble

ps. I love you all. BUT YOU\'RE ALL SICK FUCKING FREAKS

:lol :lol <3

I've had sex with my older sister multiple times as a kid (really young,
like 4-7).

We never talk about it and I don't hold it against her (she always initiated
it). She didn't know how to deal with her hormones and what better way for her
than to test the waters with the younger ignorant brother that's ALWAYS alone
with her? Several times her friend was in on it. They kind of used me as their experiment.

It's sick, but I don't hold it against my sister. My parent is really shy and would never had explain anything regarding sex to her. We're both adults now and get along very well. I guess we regard it as something we had no idea about as kids.

Holy shit, your sister used you as a train with her friends. If this is real, holy shit

I arranged one of the DOS attacks that shut down GAF once. The forum was
being extra retarded one day and was really asking for it. A guy who had a crush
on a friend of mine kept asking for a website to shutdown, to show off. I had
contemplated it myself, but my 'haXor' days were behind me. So I told him to
do the Gaming Age Forums, not thinking he was serious. Next day I wake up and
GAF was shutdown.

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha.

That's funny about the people who are afraid to use public urinals. My
secret is that I can't help but take a look at other guy's dicks when I'm in
there. I don't know why. I'm not gay at all. I just have this weird urge to
see what the guy next to me is packing.

Now we know where the public urinal fear comes from!

My dad's been killed. He was a taxi driver and, from what I deciphered, he
had drug problems. He's been shot in the head. They also found a big bag of
cocaine in his taxi. That happenned twelve years ago. The shock was terrible,
but as I didn't really knew him personally, it was not as hard to live as if he
would have been with me everyday. Sometimes, I still think about him and how I
miss having a dad. =(. Sorry to make this thread even more depressing.

when i was a kid like 6 or 7 i was at a neighbors house in his basement. he
told me that i had to do something in order to have kids so i asked what. i
forget the reason but all that happened was that i pulled my pants down to be
naked from the waist down, he did the same, and we sorta walked into each other,
and thats it. i have no idea why he wanted to do that or why it didnt turn into
anything else, thank god, but it happened.

im not sure if its this isolated incident or years of being a depressed fat geek
that makes me so deviant today. examples?

well first the obvious things to say is that i have no real standards for who i
fuck, other than being female. ill basically take anything that isnt visibly
diseased even if shes twice my weight. i never use condoms, keep this in mind
while reading the rest. also, my full porn collection is quite illegal and if
discovered would get me a lifetime prison sentence.

i fingerbanged a 14 year old girl twice, once at home while taking pictures of
it and once in a car. i would have fucked her but i didnt have money for a hotel
and didnt want to use my credit card because it was on a shared account. i was
22 at the time. the camera i used to take those pictures was disposable and i
destroyed it when i realized i had no way to develop the film.

then theres the story of my friend. hes the guy ive known the longest and weve
been on the closest terms since high school until today. a few years ago, a
sister of one of our friends went back on the market after a shitty relationship
and she was single again. my friend was in the middle of a yearlong drought of
relationships and was looking to hook onto something fast and get married so
that his life could get direction and so that his mom could see it before she
died (this is my own theory, but sure enough, he got married quickly and his mom
died a few months afterwards, plus her job required her to live in the city she
works, so he was able to piggyback on that to move out on his own too). so they
soon were going out and engaged and married. only problem is that before this
all happened, she made it pretty clear that she was interested in me. however i
had my own gf (same as current) at the time and really felt stuck, so despite
the opportunity i let it go. however i deeply resented the missed chance to have
her as well as my friends general demeanor towards the whole relationship;
before being married they argued constantly, and now they argue about as often
and he spends his days buying junk on her paychecks (she has the better paying
job right now). so months of me running \'what ifs\' through my head led to a
night when all of us were drinking and her and i were the last ones awake. while
he was asleep no more than twenty feet away i fucked her. theyve been married
for a few years now. i was the best man. weve had our affair since a year before
they were married and it still continues to this day. i have no idea how i
havent been called out on it, but as long as im getting the milk for free, he
can keep the cow.

meanwhile i deal with my own relationship ... I typed up two long boring
paragraphs of general details but even they are specific enough to point me out.
lets just say shes clinically obese and that while I do in fact love her and
care about her (yes i do), basically her entire lifestyle irritates the fuck out
of me and id have no problem if she vanished tomorrow. however, based on things
that ive said and done, i think shes the one ill live the rest of my life with.
it might be unfortunate but i know full well she would have nobody if not for
me, and im so antisocial (and as you can see from the previous paragraphs,
despicable) that i dont think i really deserve to have a 'normal' relationship
with someone that id find both physically and mentally attractive.

this is all true. i didnt spend the last hour just to type bullshit.

Man all these essays...

FUCKING A i dont know what to get my secret santa. They want candy from
other place and arts and crafts. HMMMM anyone have some good ideas. My town is
like robbed of any creativity and originality.

.

Secret time:

Used to play doctor with my male cousin ( I am also male ) actually until we
were like 14. I gave him a blow job once and I thought it was hot. I'd never
want any guy touching my ass and really never felt attracted to a guy other than
him. Oh, and it's not that bad, he's not biologically related to me in anyway.
I was adopted.

Also, I think my female cousin is really hot... I've played twister with her
before and it gave me a raging hard on.

Also, I tried to commit suiced freshman year, left blood all over the bathroom
stalls.

I'm fairly sure I'm seasonally depressed.

I don't know if I could ever be faithful to a girl, I'm a chronic cheater.

Look out GAF I'm fucked up.

.

I am actually Drinky Crow.

However, Drinky Crow is the joke character.

You don't say...

I go to school with another member of GAF. The thing is, this person has no
idea who I am on GAF and (obviously) has no idea that I know about their GAF
personality. I don't know if you guys are paying attention to me when I post
but I deliberately haven't told you guys a lot about myself and I can only
assume this person doesn't suspect a thing. I prefer to remain anonymous on
GAF, which is why I shall never confront this person IRL (not to mention the
humiliation this person would feel). I've been dying to tell someone this
secret ever since I figured it out, I considered posting this person’s GAF
handle on the schools bulletin board (something like "hi ******\")
but I don't have the nerve to call them out for their bullshit on GAF. It would
be really embarrassing and I don't have a vindictive personality.

I figured it out when this person mentioned the city they live in and because
this person posts pictures of themselves in the picture thread. It was very easy
to put two and two together from the evidence they unknowingly provided.

Uh oh, watch out GAF.

I'm a racist. On the surface I seem open-minded but deep down inside I
feel like blacks are the lowest form of humans. They truly are animals and just
the way they acted after Katrina is proof enough.

I know it's wrong to feel that way which is probably why I don't act out on
them. Even so, I can't help but think of them as dirty monkeys.

I really was on the fence about posting this one, but I want whoever posted this to know I think they're fucking disgusting.

I don't get dates much like the rest of the losers on GAF.
I have improved my relations with females. (past few months I\'ve talked to more
chicks then I have from 1999-2004). They kind of approach me now.
That's only because I take medication that kills my anxiety.

Honestly, I can get any dates (and sex from a small percentage of them ) if I
really wanted to. I'm just so used to being lonely and alone that I enjoy the
company of myself more than any chick can give me. I don't have a gf because I
don't like the idea of having to entertain someone constantly. They also
invade space which I'm not adjusted to.

Being alone for so many years has developed homosexuals feelings within me.
I'm very much in the closest, but I'd be down with a relationship with a guy
who is like me and has my interest.

.

I love licking girls - in the asshole. To the girl who liked getting
licked; I would do it for you, anytime.

I had the hots for my cousin in my teens. We went swimming once, and we started
spitting water on each other, and I got hard instantly. I suspected that the
feeling was somewhat mutual, but decided not to act upon it. Probably for the
best.

I still think about my exes. My current girlfriend doesn't do it for me any
longer. I know I'm probably putting them up on a pedestal, but I can't forget
them.

My first sexual experience was a gay one. My friend and I used to take off all
of our clothes and he would ask me to put it in his ass. No penetration, and it
was all his idea. Promise. It only happened twice.

I stomped a mouse to death for no reason whatsoever. It ran across my path and
before I knew it, it was under my shoe. It haunts me to this day, and it was six
years ago.

I jerked off in my parents yacht when they were sunbathing on the deck, and I
was alone below. I suspect they saw me somehow because they gave me a dirty look
when I got up.

.

I saved every single picture that Mina posted and masturbate to them almost
every night.

:lol

I have a strong urge to feminize myself: use estrogen and other hormones to
grow small breasts, girlish hips, smooth skin, the works. But I'm okay in the
male role; I'm not a classic transsexual who feels like a girl inside. I mainly
just find the girl thing hot. Ironically all those female hormones would likely
kill the male sex drive that's behind my fetish, which is one hell of a big
catch-22. I worry about how people would treat me if I did do something like
this. It's very embarrassing so only a few people know my secret. Bizarrely, a
longtime friend harbors similar desires.

All this gender shit has given me a much greater respect for those who have to
deal with this shit every day. I never really thought about it before. Be nice
to TS people. They didn't ask to be born in the wrong bodies and they're real
people just trying to get along in an intolerant society. If you're bored try
torrenting TransGeneration, which just ran on Sundance Channel. Really,
really great documentary on four trans college students. It's eye opening.

I'm a wordy fuck.

 

[White Man]

That's an interesting one. Would really like to know who this is... when I lived with my mom she did foster care and we took care of an autistic kid.

It's not interesting. It's someone pretending to have Asperger's Syndrome. It's hip these days.

 

[Amir0x]

Even more...

I'm in love with my best friend, problem is that two weeks ago she started

saying I was psycho and that I stalk her (which btw I haven't talk to her
for about two months so I don't understand why she said that.) one of my
friends said to me what she said and It hurt me a lot cause I really really
care about her. yesterday she started talking to me but I just couldn't do
it after knowing what she said I felt betrayed so GAF I ask you should I
forgive her? or should I be wary of her that she doesn't get put me in any
problem? I really want to forgive her but it's fucking hard especially after
considering what she said about me.

btw I hate my username wish I could change it.

Dude, she called you a psycho stalker. Confront her about it, ask her why, and if her response isn't satisfactory to you call that shit as it is. Don't even bother putting yourself through the motions, as it's not fair to you.

I slept with a pornstar and didnt even know it. Over the summer i was
working in las vegas and met Amee Donovan. At the time i didnt know she was a
pornstar. We met while i ordered a burger from a resturaunt. She had a vanilla
shake. I offered to take her to go out dancing. We hooked up that night. Damn
she's a fox. I felt bad cause i had to leave in the morning. i left my number
and a note. And bought her a little something. Never did get a call back. I like her a lot now more so than i did before.

.

I use to not believe the rumors about GAF being a bunch of incestual ****.

.

I fucking hate Arrested Development. The show is so fucking stupid and I
feel like punching someone in the throat every time someone on GAF praises that
show. I watched three episodes on the advice of GAF and it was one of the most
unpleasant and uncomfortable experiences of my life. I'm saying this
anonymously because I know I would get the brunt of the GAF horde's ire were I
to admit this in an AD-related thread. Seriously, fuck you guys for liking that
show. I'm glad it's getting cancelled.

 

[Ash Housewares]

I fucking hate Arrested Development. The show is so fucking stupid and I
feel like punching someone in the throat every time someone on GAF praises that
show. I watched three episodes on the advice of GAF and it was one of the most
unpleasant and uncomfortable experiences of my life. I'm saying this
anonymously because I know I would get the brunt of the GAF horde's ire were I
to admit this in an AD-related thread. Seriously, fuck you guys for liking that
show. I'm glad it's getting cancelled.

I don't like it either

I don't get the concern with GAF opinion, are their words really so biting? their opinions so relevant?

 

[Mihail]

Holy crap at the Amee Donovan one. Is that really true, dude? She's got the best POVs.

 

[malek4980]

I bet I'm not the only one who googles Amee Donovan.

 

[eLGee]

I slept with a pornstar and didnt even know it. Over the summer i was
working in las vegas and met Amee Donovan. At the time i didnt know she was a
pornstar. We met while i ordered a burger from a resturaunt. She had a vanilla
shake. I offered to take her to go out dancing. We hooked up that night. Damn
she's a fox. I felt bad cause i had to leave in the morning. i left my number
and a note. And bought her a little something. Never did get a call back. I like her a lot now more so than i did before.

Linked for NSFW
http://www.nsgalleries.com/hosted1/jb/gals/amee/images/image001.jpg
Congrats, man!

 

[Error]

:lol best thread like.... ever.

O_O @ all the incest going on here.

I just saw some videos of Amee Donovan and whoever fucked her is one lucky motherfucker