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Theres a bear in my camp site

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ethic said:
DO NOT LISTEN TO THIS MAN HE WILL GET YOU KILLED! If you play dead, you will die since this is more than likely a black bear.
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I will edit the post to be more clear.
1. Don't provoke it.
2. Don't run. Back away slowly. Maybe climb a tree if you can and have time.
3. Appear large.
4. Be loud and talk a lot. (everyone needs to do this)
5. bang pots and pans. Even jump around.
7. Last resort, fire scares them.
EDIT! 7.5 If the bear attacks you. Attack it with a weapon and be ruthless. Give it everything you have to scare it off, but if shit gets real....
8. ... as a final resort, play dead and cover your vitals. the others need to have your back and should still e wailing on the bear. Grizzly bears are more likely to attack out of defense, and will often give up when you play dead and they realize you aren't here to fight. This is less the case with black bears, but if you are going to lose the fight, cover your vitals and let your friends scare it off.
9. After he leaves, get rid of what ever lured him by doing a bear bag or putting it in your truck far from camp (he'll maybe fuck your car up)
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Is this better?
 
ethic said:
DO NOT LISTEN TO THIS MAN HE WILL GET YOU KILLED! If you play dead, you will die since this is more than likely a black bear.
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but
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Professor Beef said:
They were apples, god damn it, and I will keep that stance to my dying day.
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SteveWinwood said:
Dude.... they were apples.
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I'm tired of you liberal elitists trying to come into my home and tell me how to raise MY family and MY snake.
THEY. WERE. EGGGGGGS!
Zep said:
Do black bears usually travel solo or with backup?
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two attack from the front, one from behind. Clever girls.
 
Zep said:
lol
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for real. as a last resort, you gotta make yourself like Steven Segall and HARD TO KILL. Bears are lazy scardy cats. They don't typically want a fight.

EDIT: I will leave bad grammer cuz it's funnier that way
 
legend166 said:
You should be safe.

Just be happy you're not in Australia and it's not a drop bear. Regular bears are like pussy cats next to drop bears.

I mean look at this: http://australianmuseum.net.au/Drop-Bear
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My Uncle was taken by one of these, snapped his neck clean

There are continuing reports of Drop Bears in and around the Canberra area having developed a new tactic of riding falling eucalyptus branches to the ground in order to stun and overcome unsuspecting passers-by. Past practice in the bush capital was for the then-National Capital Authority to plant eucalypts as street trees. These are now mature or over-mature and, like all eucalypts in stressed environments, they tend to shed branches unexpectedly and apparently without warning. Drop Bears have cleverly exploited this tendency and have adopted co-operative behaviour whereby the weight of two or more will cause unstable branches to drop, and the bears have developed a “surfing” technique enabling them to ride the falling branches to the ground. This gives them the double benefit of surprise and disguise. Unsuspecting walkers who thought they only had to leap to avoid branches have been horrified to find they have to contend with a marauding pack of Drop Bears emerging from the greenery as well. Significant injuries are reported to have been the result from these Bear attacks. The ACT Government has a continuing pruning program for eucalypts to try to mitigate the problem. There is a suggestion that, as in the case of the US Navy training dolphins for warfare, a secret SAS unit based in caves built into the new underpass outside Russell Hill Defence HQ is attempting to train Drop Bears wearing explosive belts for anti-personnel operations. The exploding Drop Bears may be tested on cyclists using the underpass (cars are too fast for the Bears to be effective). This is, of course, denied by the military and government; but they would wouldn't they?
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Well, if he was still at the camp site, he'd probably be posting to make the night go quicker...So im gonna bet he made a b-line for the car and gtfo.
 
Papercuts said:
OP was active 14 minutes ago. Either that or the bear is now a gaffer.
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I for one welcome our new ursine member. Gaf is transcending species and not with filthy furries.
 
Starting tomorrow, I'm going camping for three days and I hope I don't bump into the same situation.
 
Sennorin said:
I´m actually surprised by the overwhelming amount of joke replies in this topic. Maybe it´s an American thing, but as a European, I´d be scared shitless if a wild bear appeared in front of me. Hope OP is okay.
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amurica: we fight bears and just don't give a fuck
 
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