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This generation's best (worst) hyperbole

B

Bisnic

Really Really Exciting Member!
Estocolmo said:
The biggest and most stupid hyperbole of this generation was the Mass Effect 3 ending!
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Yeah, I mean the original ending was rushed, confusing and shitty, but to say things like "The ending was so bad that I can't even play Mass Effect 1, Mass Effect 2 and Mass Effect 3 anymore. It's that BAD."

Please. It's fucking video games. A shit ending isn't going to affect my appreciation of a franchise.
 
K

Kai Dracon

Writing a dinosaur space opera symphony
Upon reflection, as far as negative hyperbole about games goes I have to turn it over to Kurt:

“Any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a novel is preposterous. He or she is like a person who has put on full armor and attacked a hot fudge sundae.” – Kurt Vonnegut

Works for games too.
 
Xenon

Xenon

Member
Syril said:
From a review of Journey:
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This reviewer probably cries during sex.



I would say Too Human was a hyperbole shit storm from every angle. The game never transcended traditional gaming as Dyack suggested it would. But it was no where near as bad as everyone made it out to be.
 
P

PsihoPerihelion

Member
That 21 out of 20 review for Uncharted 2 is still the most embarrassing and disgusting thing I've seen this gen. Thank god I don't care about the manchilds of this industry, but it's stupid nonetheless.
 
J

Jake Tower

Banned
JazzmanZ said:
this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTindUKAcmg&feature=g-all-u

UvojR.png
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9krhU.gif
 
R

Rodney McKay

Member
Manu said:
Since no one posted it yet, Hardcore Gamer's AC3 review:
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Games like this only come around once in a generation. Assassin’s Creed III is a beautiful, sprawling adventure that proves to be one of the most, if not the most, ambitious titles ever created. Just when you think you have it figured out, an entirely new element is introduced that enriches it further, rendering it one of the least repetitive experiences to be had with a controller. An inspiring testament to what can be accomplished with unbridled devotion, it’s possible that nothing of this magnitude will ever be attempted again. No matter if you’re a fan of the series, or even the genre, Assassin’s Creed III must be experienced; it’s a truly definitive event that will be looked-back as a crucial step in gaming evolution.
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Oh. My. God.
 
R

R_thanatos

Member
Shinta said:
Most of the criticism of FFXIII.
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So freaking agreed

UntoldDreams said:
Is this thread a tribute to Molyneux?

I had some painful discussions with people explaining that Milo & Kate was smoke and mirrors because anything remotely close to true AI simply wasn't going to be on a bloody console device.
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BUT BUT BUT the kinect extra chip ...

No seriously LOL

MaverickHunterAsh said:
Oh god, this. Some of the most overblown shit ever. FF XIII wasn't perfect, no, but it was far from bad.

Actually, the general hate thrown at Square Enix in general this gen gets my vote. Most of it's just hyperbolic, entitled bellyaching.
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I agree .I think they dropped the ball this gen but they delivered some very high quality games. when it mattered
 
J

jluedtke

Member
Anything about Kinect. Seriously: anything. Starting with that insane launch showcase, the likes of which will most likely never be topped in all of human existence. It was a monstrous tribute to hyperbole.
 
B

BiggNife

Member
Stumpokapow said:
Look at this image--does the review magically make sense now? I wouldn't give Gears a 10 either (or an A+ when 1up converted to a letter scale for some reason), but let's not pretend the review doesn't make the case, even if you disagree with it:



The review's whole thesis is that the game is greater than the sum of its parts and the sheer intensity of the overall experience merits the grade in spite of flaws in its constituent elements.
Click to expand...

I'm glad someone pointed this out because I'm sick of people using that image that leaves out the entire point of the review so people can be all "LOL HE GIVES IT AN A+ AND SAYS IT SUCKS"

Maybe the score should've been an A and not an A+, but it's not nearly as bad as a lot of the other stuff posted in this thread.
 
H

HamPster PamPster

Member
Begin here to see the magic unfold
or just listen to one of my favorite GFW Heroes of the Web

Shoho said:
15 minutes.

Guys im scared. im shaking. I am cold.



it hurts all over my body. the reason why I got a 360 has come to this day. the reason why I started playing the early FPS like quake and doom and wolfie and dark forces and goldeneye... it was all because of this day. because of this game.

this game that will not only be the last significant game of all time. but also the game that will counter-attack and kill WoW and all the other "Omg online phenomenon". Red vs blue on this... its going to be... I cant write anymore. I cant. I have to hide under my desk.

I just cant. I just cant....
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Shoho said:
5 minutes guys. oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god!!!!

Guys... i cant.. what if it gets less than 9.4 on gamespot? I wouldnt be able to deal with it. I would.. Guys... Please dont let them give it less than halo 2. Please dont.


Gertsmann. I love you. Dont do this. I know you thought it was fun, making the zelda fanboys mad, but you are better than this. there is more to this world than Tony Hawk 3(10) and the GTA ps2 series(9.6)!!! Please jeff. Please. I beg of you.
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Shoho said:
Yes!!! GS 9.5!!! YES YES YES!!

Thats whats important. yes. thank you god. thank you so god, for making this one of the best days of my life. My 360 is worth every penny!
Click to expand...
 
B

Brazil

Living in the shadow of Amaz
All the GTA IV reviews definitely take the prize. It was the death of everyone's credibility, basically.

Syril said:
From a review of Journey:
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I can't help but not like games like Journey because of shit like this.
 
H

HyperCubed4

Member
Roto13 said:
Basically all reviews of Journey. Most of them make me want to barf.
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GAF's hyperbole of the generation: Roto13 and his distaste for Journey.
not really, but you dump on Journey a lot

Back on topic. GTA 4 and MGS 4's reviews. GTA 4 had some really annoying mechanics, all of which detracted from the game's quality. But hey, the game looked great and that's all that matters. I think the worst MGS 4 review I've seen was Reviews on the Run's original MGS 4 review. I've met the entire ROTR cast and they're cool guys. Victor is really passionate about his job and clearly loves doing it. But holy lord. This is the worst professional review of a video game I have seen in my life. Nothing comes remotely close to this.
 
A

antitrop

Member
HyperCubed4 said:
I think the worst MGS 4 review I've seen was Reviews on the Run's original MGS 4 review. I've met the entire ROTR cast and they're cool guys. Victor is really passionate about his job and clearly loves doing it. But holy lord. This is the worst professional review of a video game I have seen in my life. Nothing comes remotely close to this.
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I love Vic Lucas, I grew up watching Judgment Day in high school. (That's what they called it over here the U OF S OF A), but holy shit this is baaaaad.

It's barely even begun and he starts off with "This game, honestly, it is the REASON why Sony created the PlayStation 3.".

"Who cares about movies? This is better than a movie, a movie couldn't do this.". <- I know what he's trying to say with this one, but he lets the exaggeration get away from him.

The worst part of the review, to me, is that they don't actually talk about the game itself, but rather just about how great it is. What's the point of the review?

Neither of the reviewers properly articulate any particular things they liked or disliked about the game, just that 'TEN OUTTA TEN' and MY HEAD IS IN THE OPENING VIDEO!
 
Clockwork5

Clockwork5

Member
The difficulty of Dark Souls. Yeah there was a learning curve and there were some ambiguous sections of the game, but once you get the system down and upgrade some equipment the game becomes more about patience than difficulty (with the exception of a couple bosses.)
 
M

Meccanical

Member
Clockwork5 said:
The difficulty of Dark Souls. Yeah there was a learning curve and there were some ambiguous sections of the game, but once you get the system down and upgrade some equipment the game becomes more about patience than difficulty (with the exception of a couple bosses.)
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Thank you.
 
D

Diablo Rosso

Member
Got to be GTA IV. Some of the things said are downright laughable. It was the biggest disappointment this gen for me. Watch the GTA V reviews to be just as hyperbolic.
 
J

jooey

The Motorcycle That Wouldn't Slow Down
Stumpokapow said:
Look at this image--does the review magically make sense now? I wouldn't give Gears a 10 either (or an A+ when 1up converted to a letter scale for some reason), but let's not pretend the review doesn't make the case, even if you disagree with it:



The review's whole thesis is that the game is greater than the sum of its parts and the sheer intensity of the overall experience merits the grade in spite of flaws in its constituent elements.
Click to expand...

If only you were a mod six years ago.
 
S

sn00zer

Member
The Platinum Games should make every game ever mentality..... they are known exclusively for short character action games and one adventure game.....doesnt really qualify them to make a game from every genre ever
Although they would be the prefect company to make Zone of the ENders 3 or a new Star Fox....and it looks they are currently being set up to do both with strong ties to Kojima Prod. and Nintendo
 
E

EvB

Member
prwxv3 said:
lol



That happens for pretty much every exclusive game dude.
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There is something extra hyperlicious about exclusive PS3 games, so much so I have to force myself to ignore it as to avoid dissapointment.

Imagine my surprise when I played Journey and loved it
 
A

Angelus Errare

Banned
Every generation - "Wow, easily the best graphics ever!"

Like really? Ever? Even in 10 years? Stahp with the "ever" stuff. So silly in hindsight, hell it's silly in general, it makes you sound loony as hell.
 
H

HyperCubed4

Member
Roto13 said:
Only because it's the worst thing since the holocaust.
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Holy shit, I'm laughing my ass off. That's terrible. Well, if you're going to play the Journey card, I'm playing the Just Cause 2 card. Fuck that game. It's garbage. I have not heard one single positive about that game, other than "you can tether things to other things." On the other end of the spectrum, I can expect Heavy Rain will be one game that isn't as bad as GAF says it is, as I have yet to play it.
 
A

antitrop

Member
HyperCubed4 said:
Holy shit, I'm laughing my ass off. That's terrible. Well, if you're going to play the Journey card, I'm playing the Just Cause 2 card. Fuck that game. It's garbage. I have not heard one single positive about that game, other than "you can tether things to other things." On the other end of the spectrum, I can expect Heavy Rain will be one game that isn't as bad as GAF says it is, as I have yet to play it.
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Have you played the JC2 multiplayer mod? It justifies a lot of the absurd JC2 hyperbole that people wanted to be true about the game in its original state.
 
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