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[Oblivion]

A man who murdered his wife's lover believing he was protecting his four children and defending his rights has today been jailed for at least 16 years.

Mark Budimir, 43, was convinced that if his rival was out of the way, his wife would return to him.

Budimir was found guilty by a Supreme Court jury in February of murdering Dino Moresco

Kind of nitpicky, but if he only got 16 years, isn't this technically manslaughter, and not murder?

 

[Warren Ellis]

only 16 years for murdering a man and using violence on his wife ?

 

[alekth]

Isn't that why the woman should have gotten a divorce first? If she did that, then infidelity would never have been an issue here

It's the decent thing to do.
But since that wasn't the case, the husband has a number of options such as filing for divorce, drinking himself silly, making a scene etc.
Killing someone isn't one of those options.

 

[TUROK]

I mean...duh....if you decide you're lonely/desperate enough to sleep with a married woman then you should be prepared for this outcome.

Lol if you think this is only done by "lonely" and "desperate" men.

 

[perfectchaos007]

It's the decent thing to do.
But since that wasn't the case, the husband has a number of options such as filing for divorce, drinking himself silly, making a scene etc.
Killing someone isn't one of those options.

I thought that went without saying, but apparently I should have clarified this in my posts...

 

[mclem]

...even if you're the one married to her?

 

[Carnby]

He killed him with a power slam? That's awesome!!!

 

[FreeMufasa]

Don't cheat. U lose everything and it's never da same again =(

 

[remnant]

I don't give a crap about the woman.

If you are a dude, and you are banging a chick that abuses drugs or something, that carries a certain level of risk. She could steal from you, lie to you, etc etc. We understand that, we accept that to an extent.

If your banging a mom of 4 kids that is currently in a relationship with another man, a violent man, you're a fucking idiot. That is a HUGE RISK. Sometimes you end up with a black eye, sometimes you end up dead.

I don't know how Devo and Fiction twisted common logic into "We all hate women." but there you go.

 

[LegendofJoe]

It's interesting. Why are people so willing to give one party the benefit of the doubt, but not the other?

I'll speak for myself. I'm not giving ANY party the benefit of the doubt. I'm saying that all three parties involved in this situation did something wrong. All three of them have a part to play in an unfortunate end.

Bingo, these are my thoughts exactly as well.

I will say this though, I have been cheated on before when I was in my early 20's and the pain I felt from the betrayal of trust blew my mind. I was mentally and emotionally devastated. And as a married man now I occasionally have nightmares about that scenario repeating with my wife, only this time it would be much, much worse.

 

[freenudemacusers]

I don't know how Devo and Fiction twisted common logic into "We all hate women." but there you go.

I don't give a crap about the woman.

 

[Messypandas]

I think married peeps should do as they please.

Sucks for the dude though

 

[soul creator]

I'm lost as to what is being discussed in this thread?

my pet discussion is more about why this particular urge (jealousy) and violent response often gets the "obviously violence sucks and it shouldn't happen and no one defends that...but I can see how someone might do that. This is why you don't mess with a married man's wife." response. Basically, a take on the Chris Rock "I ain't saying he should've killed her! But I understand" joke.

but the urge to have sex and/or feelings towards others often gets the response of "NO EXCEPTIONS, you should never sleep with someone else. That's the worst betrayal! I have no tolerance for cheaters!" response.

Even though no one is technically defending the violent outburst in the jealousy example, the rhetoric around it seems relatively muted compared to the rhetoric around the latter action, which seems relatively tame ("my partner was attracted to someone else, which hurt my feelings").

Edit: I don't have any specific data on which response is more common, but it's just a feeling I have reading discussions about infidelity. I of course could be wrong about how prevalent these responses are.

 

[Kimawolf]

99% of the time I've passed on easy hook ups with married women for moral reasons, the other 1% its because I don't want to become a footnote in the news like this bloke.

Exactly. She can definitely do what she wants, as can he, but no amount of her right to choose will save me from a jealous husband who decides "He needs to get rid of me." and his extremely light sentence for murdering someone brutally shows it seems the judge thinks the same way. So yes, lesson of the day is husbands can be crazy, do NOT sleep with their wives. Tell her ass to divorce him first.

 

[Draft]

Good God almighty! Good God almighty! They've killed him!

I'm dying :lol

 

[dead souls]

It's interesting. Why are people so willing to give one party the benefit of the doubt, but not the other?

I'll speak for myself. I'm not giving ANY party the benefit of the doubt. I'm saying that all three parties involved in this situation did something wrong. All three of them have a part to play in an unfortunate end.

What the hell? One of these three people fucking murdered someone, this false equivalency "they all play a part" shit reads like something a sociopath would type.

 

[captmorgan]

Exactly. She can definitely do what she wants, as can he, but no amount of her right to choose will save me from a jealous husband who decides "He needs to get rid of me." and his extremely light sentence for murdering someone brutally shows it seems the judge thinks the same way. So yes, lesson of the day is husbands can be crazy, do NOT sleep with their wives. Tell her ass to divorce him first.

Because a crazy Ex would never do sch a thing?
So lets say she had divorced him and he still kill the guy hoping to win her back, would the conversation then be don`t date people with ex spouses because you never know how they`ll re-act?

Instead of "This is why you shouldn`t sleep with a married women"
Shouldn`t it be "This is why when your a married women you don`t sleep around?"

The women was the one who made a commitment not the guy in this situation.

If the husband had killed the wife, would it be the boyfriends fault?

 

[shanshan310]

I don't know how Devo and Fiction twisted common logic into "We all hate women." but there you go.

I don't know how you twisted the words of the female posters in this thread into "you all hate women" but there you go.

 

[Kimawolf]

Because a crazy Ex would never do sch a thing?
So lets say she had divorced him and he still kill the guy hoping to win her back, would the conversation then be don`t date people with ex spouses because you never know how they`ll re-act?

Instead of "This is why you shouldn`t sleep with a married women"
Shouldn`t it be "This is why when your a married women you don`t sleep around?"

The women was the one who made a commitment not the guy in this situation.

If the husband had killed the wife, would it be the boyfriends fault?

Nope the conversation would be the same, but in THIS particular case the dude was nuts, but as stated many times, in real life, people who are cheated on, especially married ones lose their minds and try to hurt the cheater or the person being cheated with. It's a fact of life, so in most instances it's best to not put yourself in a situation where you could be harmed.

And no it would not be the boyfriend's fault if the husband killed the wife, murder is murder and he is wrong. But him being wrong WON'T keep you alive, nor will him going to jail bring you back to life, so why even put yourself in a situation? Most people view marriages as sacred and a lot more serious than simply boyfriend girlfriend, so sleeping with a married woman or man opens you up to an enormous amount of extra risk. Hence why I said "don't sleep with a married woman". Because you never know what her husband is like and what he could do if he finds out.

And no i am not justifying him killing the guy, it's definitely wrong and she and he have the right to choose, but all those rights and nice words doesn't change the fact that in reality people kill over that kind of thing.

 

[Spring-Loaded]

What the hell? One of these three people fucking murdered someone, this false equivalency "they all play a part" shit reads like something a sociopath would type.

At least in that post, he didn't say cheating is as bad as murder. Speaking of logical fallacies, you are using a straw man argument and are arguing against a claim that he never made. If you want to tell someone they're a sociopath for believing this, go find someone who actually believes this instead of fulfilling that need with other people.

Some people in this thread are wondering how such such a terrible situation came to be and are not satisfied with the reductionist, dismissive conclusion people are coming to that says "don't be a murderous asshole." If the situation were that simple for everyone, it wouldn't happen unless someone is born with brain defects that give them violent tendencies from birth.

It does happen though, with people without violent histories, people who you wouldn't call a "murderous asshole," prior to their crime.

So, why? That's what some people in this thread want to know. A few others just want to drive home that murder is wrong, that the wife was beaten and imprisoned for her emotions which is also wrong, and that you shouldn't murder people. To that, I say "duh," and then I ask the above question: Why did it happen?

What if there's a way to deal with such violent urges beyond muttering "don't kill, don't kill..." or thinking of bunny rabbits/rainbows like a previous poster mentioned after walking in on his wife with another man? What if, by some miracle, we all somehow gain a better understanding of this situation, something that would be helpful to those who've been through something like this and for those who haven't? Wouldn't that be better than misinterpreting — purposefully or otherwise — someone else's argument and then calling them a sociopath?

 

[GungHo]

My former dentist, Clara Harris killed my orthodontist David Harris after catching him and his mistress walking out of a hotel. She ran over him with a Mercedes multiple times. But because it was a "sudden passion" the maximum sentence was only 20 years.

I can't drive by that Hilton without remembering that story. The craziest shit was that their kid was in the car.

Like it or not that is how the real world works, junior.

Man, you come right out of a comic book.

I'm married (5 years) and have a child (2 years). Someone please inform me how much input I am allowed to offer in this thread thanks in advance.

One ridiculous assertion, two ad hominems, and a straw man of unusual size.