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[nhlducks35]

To the base.

they didn't even use a swab for me, they used some fucking metal instrument.

But I can still get the swab if I want, right?

Y'know how they say it's steel? It isn't steel, it's plastic. Y'know why they say it's steel? Because it feels like cold steel, sliding into you slowly but surely.

I kinda enjoyed my first time.

A friend in college went in before they did the piss tests, and it broke in half as they were putting it in. They were able to palpate it out (by squeezing at the base of his dick and tugging to nudge it a millimeter at a time until they could get it with tiny tweezers). If they had gotten all the way in when it broke he could have required surgery.

About a month later they put up signs about how they didn't need to do the "micro q-tip" test for males anymore, and could just test urine.

I haven't had one in about 15 years. Ah the old single days and catching my first case of the clap..

Female doctor pulled out the swab, handed it to me, then told me what to do...

I basically had to inflict the pain on myself..I kind of wish a doctor did it since I was so shakey and nervous, broke out in a cold sweat and everything :/

 

[narcosis219]

How deep do they shove the swap into your peepee hole, man?

To the base.

 

[Emily Chu]

maybe this is how girls feel when being penetrated by a penis...



much like how something penetrates your penis

inception

 

[ReturnOfTheRAT]

Imagine it's a stud from a tongue ring.

 

[televator]

This whole thread. Especially the comment about a metal rod... I don't want that to be true.

 

[Kraut]

They use a special, smaller cue tip right? Putting a regular sized one in would be like trying to plug a 1/4 instrument cable into a 3.5 mm headphone jack. Feels bad (just thinking about it) man

 

[evil solrac v3.0]

So my doc informed me today that they no longer have to use a swab to test for UTI/STI, and instead can just use your urine! I was proceeding with the normal routine and undoing my pants when she informed me that wouldn't be necessary and all I had to do was pee in a cup!

Now, if you haven't had to go through one of these then congrats. If you have... then you know how great this news is!

well that's a sucky way to get turned down.. >_>

She's been great for the past ~2 years. No issue with her doing this. Recently she even had someone (also female) following her for residency or something, and they were both in there when I went to have (what we think now is) a swollen sub-dermal anal gland checked out. Meant I had to drop my pants and bend over while she poked/prodded and gave commentary for the person following.

was.... she hot?

Oh my... Couldn't imagine this horror. The worst for me was the first time when the doc (guy) told me to stand and put my heels against the door so "no one would come in." I felt REALLY uncomfortable at that point.

um...are you sure these are doctors?

 

[Stabby McSter]

what if you were the last dude that had to do the swab. bad feel bro

they probably still do it just for shits and giggles

 

[Karkador]

I had a camera shoved up my dick once. They had to take a photo of my bladder. It sucked. A swab would've felt good after that.

This. A swab to the base is nothing compared to this.. (Link is not safe for anyone)

"It sucked" doesn't even begin to describe the harrowing sensation of discovering the inner workings of your body by tracing the pain as a metal cable slowly works its way into places you've never felt in your life.

 

[Blackace]

Now can they do sometime about prostate exam

 

[tearsofash]

How new is this? I got tested maybe six months ago and all I did was piddle.

 

[Lucian Cat]

I was asking my bf about this and he says you guys have been getting screwed over. He's been getting tested via urine for 8 years now. Never with q tip.

I don't even have a wang and I felt myself recoil in horror to this :|

 

[Hoo-doo]

Oh god, this is the worst thread ever. I don't ever want to get swabbed.

 

[KamikazeTY]

Think this is bad. Try the removal of a stint after kidney transplant. Similar procedure, only they shove a metal thingamajigie that has a giant retractable claw at the end. It also has a camera. You get the lovely option of watching in horror. And yes you are wide awake.

 

[kurtrussell]

Drama Queens.

It's really not that bad and certainly not as bad as the GAF hivemind is making it out to be.

Given the choice between that and toothache, I'd probably take 3 consecutive swabs.

Basically feels uncomfortable, burns and stings a bit, but it's not massively unbearable. Probably less painful overall than having an anaesthetic injection.

However, if the doctor tells you to lie on your side, face the wall and draw your knees up to your chest, then you're fucked.

 

[andthebeatgoeson]

Now can they do sometime about prostate exam

Dude, that's just ass play. They just want to show you the benefits.

 

[Captain_Spanky]

I had to do one a few weeks ago. I'd never done one before and the doctor just left me to do it myself. Now I find out I did it wrong. I could only get it it in just past the tip and then it was too sore so I stopped.

 

[ReBurn]

Just saw a porn about a trip to the doctor's office for a physical. It got really detailed and then she started swobbing him. WTF? The guy looked like he was in pain.

As surprised as I am that people make porn like that, I'm even more surprised that people watch it.

 

[show me your skeleton]

dude, she wasn't even a doctor, she just wanted your urine.

 

[Psychotext]

Is this a regular thing for people? I've had a swab test done once (wasn't actually anything wrong) but it sounds like people are getting them every couple of months... use a condom or something!

Or am I missing something?

 

[Devolution]

 

[Drazgul]

Haven't you guys heard of condoms...?

 

[jaxword]

Haven't you guys heard of condoms...?

Haven't you heard of the Catholic church's discoveries that condoms actually don't protect you?

 

[ReBurn]

Haven't you guys heard of condoms...?

I'm sure getting one of those shoved in your pee hole is no picnic, either.

 

[Escape Goat]

Haven't you guys heard of condoms...?

oh dear

 

[Winnie the Pimp]

Seriously, if a swab is the worst pain you will ever encounter in life then consider yourself lucky, it's NOTHING compared to some other things out there...

It just stings a bit and is over quickly as hell as long as your doc knows what he's doing!

That said OP, are you ABSOLUTELY sure that this test CAN be replaced by a simple urine analysis instead? I am off to the Urologist next week and if the swab CAN be avoided, i'd rather not have to drive to the hospital all the way since he doesn't do that in his cabinet...

 

[Mister0079]

This thread makes me penis incredibly uncomfortable.

 

[Winnie the Pimp]

Haven't you guys heard of condoms...?

In case you weren't joking, there are a couple of disorders that require a swab test that have absolutely NOTHING to do with STDs...

chronic Prostatitis being one of em...

 

[abusori]

I think I want to die a little now.

 

[Drazgul]

In case you weren't joking, there are a couple of disorders that require a swab test that have absolutely NOTHING to do with STDs...

chronic Prostatitis being one of em...

Well sure, but since it's mostly younger guys here it's more likely that they got swabbed for possible STDs instead of some specific disorders.

 

[Zutroy]

My friend is training as a nurse and she told me the following god awful story.

An older gentleman was getting a catheter fitted, and they basically stick a tube up your shaft, and then blow a bubble at the end of it to stop it falling out.

Now I know you're already thinking that sounds terrible, but this gentleman a couple of hours later just yanked in out, bubble still inflated!

I almost cried hearing that.

 

[TommyT]

Now can they do sometime about prostate exam

The two times I've had my prostate checked (I'm 28 btw) they were both done by women as well. First one I went in with neck pain and ended up having a female nurse stand in the door as a "chaperone" while the female doctor gave me the slip. Second time was by my current doc when she was checking for the gland issue... no one else in the room then. Clearly she's into me!

 

[drspeedy]

JokerOfSpades:
Question, if you're a virgin (w/ no family history of STIs), should you still get checked?

you're high-risk. better get swabbed asap.

I'm afraid that's incorrect. As a high risk patient, he'll need the anal probe.


It's the only sure method.

My friend is training as a nurse and she told me the following god awful story.

An older gentleman was getting a catheter fitted, and they basically stick a tube up your shaft, and then blow a bubble at the end of it to stop it falling out.

Now I know you're already thinking that sounds terrible, but this gentleman a couple of hours later just yanked in out, bubble still inflated!

I almost cried hearing that.

happens all the time, mostly drunks and drugged up freaks.