So, yeah... I'm about to start my first ever job tomorrow and I'm worried that my life will become a cycle, like "work, sleep, repeat".
I wish I stuck to routine during my younger years - discipline is an important aspect of life you need to learn as you keep growing older. Don't think of it as a grind, think of it as like an RPG, with you as the character needing to take on life's battles to gain EXP.
I'm still way too young (22 years old), but here's another thing: I don't know what to do with my life. I'm about to graduate college ending this year as an IT, and while I at first enjoyed the hell out of my career, nowadays I don't have the passion I once had for it. I like to program, but I wouldn't say it's something I would do for a living.
I've lived my life following others -- that's my sad reality. I did not know what career to choose, but since my uncle is an engineer and has his own successful business, I decided to follow on his footsteeps; besides, many of my friends were also going to take a Mechatronics career. 2 years later, I realized that I needed the help of my friends in order to succeed. I was desperate. I did not know what I wanted to study, what I would like to do on this life to earn a good living. I liked computers and when I took a programming course back in my old career, I found it... exciting. So... IT it was...! That may have been a stupid way of reasoning, but there's nothing left for me to do about it.
And yet, here I am writing this. I don't want to live a life that's not exciting, one that's just for surviving. I want to ENJOY THE HELL OUT OF IT... but by doing something I love to do -- and I don't know what I love to do; I'm just out there, existing somehow.
It might surprise you, but a lot of people are in the same boat as you. I know plenty of people who did college/university, but ended up doing something completely different and/or reskill their abilities. Again, with the RPG analogy, changing the class of yourself requires you to reach certain requirements, obtain an item (a new diploma) and there you go. It might be difficult, but it's entirely possible to change course later on in life when you've finally lost patience with the path you're on.
Not a lot of people know from the get go what they want to do. Some of my friends knew they were born to be doctors, lawyers etc. Good for them! But most of my other friends didn't and simply followed what their parents told them to do. A guy I knew applied for pharmaceutical studies for his university, but these days he's competing in Jiujitsu competitions and doing part-time studying for myotherapy (yes, he's beating people up and then healing them!)
Since I was 7 years old, I daydream everyday thinking about characters that I have created, how they live dangerous but exciting lifes... and I have wanted to share these characters with the world, but I don't know if they will ever see the light of day. Writing a book or making a comic, that's a lot of work, but if it means that I can get to share my creations with all of you, it's totally worth it. I mean, there's nothing else I can think of when people ask me what I would like to do with my life. "I want to be a writer, a story creator; I want to create superheroes, let my creativity blow up!". However, this way of work... I am unsure of how well I could do, if the money I earn will be more than enough for me to live comfortably.... I don't know.
As someone mentioned earlier, it's better for you to build a solid foundation with work experience and practice routine. When you've had several years under your belt, feel free to start experimenting with your creative side. The discipline you gain from routine will help you set up a side business balancing creativity and financial reality.
Nothing else comes to mind. I feel restrained by the fear of failure. I don't want to fail my mother, which sacrificed so much for me in order for me to have studies, a good house, food... and love. I can't keep living like this -- wasting time being useless. Watching many friends being successful with their lifes is depressing to me.
GAF, I beg you for your help. Any opinion is accepted.
The worst thing for you to do is compare yourself with others - their paths in life are their own, and they may be successful now but who knows about tomorrow. They ride the same highs and the same lows as you do, and their paths are as winding as yours. Nobody takes the straight road to success, and everyone has hit bumps along the way.
Speaking of which, the fear of failure is completely natural. We want to protect the ones we love, we want to have food and shelter over our heads. But the thing is - failure is just another step towards success. It's not about the mistakes you make, it's about how you respond to them and how you learn from them.
Long post, but mate you're only 22. You've only just gotten out of the tutorial section of life and now you're ready to explore the world in front of you. It seems daunting, but you got this. Run towards your goals, lose a few hearts to a stupid low-tier enemy (mistake), everything's an adventure!