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Vasectomy-age aka !Ultimate Coinpurse Punch!

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Ramma2

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After 2 years of pathetic procrastination and 2 separate pre-procedure vas checks (apparently the exams expire after a year) I finally made the appointment to put an end to my rampant fertility problem. Allow me, if you will, to create this thread as a repository to chronicle my own experience, and as a place for the initiated to give counsel and others to ask questions.

I'm on day 5 since the snip so I'll have some catching up to do, but I'll try and break it up into chunks to avoid unreadable walls of text. Enough blathering, on with the tale!

V Day -364

Sometime last April I scheduled my second pre-vasectomy screening as I came to learn the first one had long since expired. Pretty basic stuff, the Dr. gave each side a good squeeze to make sure he could find the vas then gave me my stamp of approval. Enter in another 10 months of delays before I make the actual appointment.

V Day -2

Big day this one, time to shave the ol twig and berries. Having never felt the need to beat back the bush of nature I was a bit apprehensive undertaking this task, but it had to be done. I visited the local weapons shop and armed myself with the following:

Take_This.JPG


30 minutes later, a pile of branches on a towel and tub full of warm water with a wookie floating on top and I'm pretty pleased with the results. Only minor blood loss sustained; I ponder tossing on some aftershave but ultimately decide against it.

Also, in before "Shave like a man"

Like_A_Man.jpg


V Day -1

It's Thursday, normal day at work. Itching sets in later in the evening, mildly annoying but tolerable. Feels good man to scratch it. I head to bed feeling relaxed and ready to face tomorrow.

V Day -4 Hours

Man I love playing hooky from work and taking a sick day when I'm not really sick. I wish there were more outpatient procedures fully covered by insurance I could take sick days for. As go time approaches I get a start to get a little nervous; I had read online that some doctors provide a pre-op sedative to calm the nerves but alas none for me! My post-op driver and I hop (last time I'll hop for some days it turns out) in the car and head on down to the medical office for the big slice.

TO BE CONTINUED...

Edit: Additional OP Details
I'm 31
2 kids (4 and 8)
Married 10 years
 
Someone needs to edit your avatar so the claw comes back into the frame on the left side and snags the guy's balls.
 
Congratulations bro, no more unplanned fertilizations for you!
Personal question though, have you spread your seed already or do you have any in the fridge waiting for the right egg?
 
Shanadeus said:
Congratulations bro, no more unplanned fertilizations for you!
Personal question though, have you spread your seed already or do you have any in the fridge waiting for the right egg?
Click to expand...

I've been married 10 years and we have 2 boys, 4 and 8 (I am 31 btw). We are enjoying life past the baby/toddler stage, and have agreed that if for whatever crazy reason we would want to grow our family from here we would adopt.
 
whitehawk said:
How old are you? Personally I could never imagine getting a vasectomy.. Seems so.. Unnatural.
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It's really not that wierd, you just go snip snap and it's done.
You can always keep a back up of your sperm somewhere in case you want kids and won't have to deal with any unexpected or unplanned pregnancies.

It sounds like the most natural thing you can do if you're a 20something stud having a lot of sex.
 
Pre-Op

I check in at the front desk and take my place in the waiting room. It’s still about 10 minutes till my scheduled time of 11, but not 2 minutes pass and I’m called into the back. The nurse/chop shop assistant leads me to my room of doom and has me undress from the waist down after she leaves to gather supplies. I disrobe and cover up with the 1 mil thick paper blanket they have provided. Nurse returns and has me lay back on the table, takes off the blanket and there it is. The ice is permanently broken; she’s seen all I have to offer and there isn’t really anything I can say to make the situation any more awkward for myself.

Apparently I missed a few hairs on my solo shave job as she takes a disposable razor and dry shaves everything for good measure. Sounds like sandpaper on wood. Leave it to a woman to shave me like a man. Next comes the disinfectant, cold and unpleasant smelling, but just on the sack as this is where the incisions will be located at.

Then she says she’s going to “ground me”. Alarms ring, lights flash, the wrong-o-meter in my brain goes to 11, etc. I don’t remember any mention of grounding or electricity or any of the sort in my screening exam, what the hell is this? Still she is the expert; I sit quiet while she glues this large rubber pad to my leg. We make small talk, joke about her job, if she talks about what she does at family gatherings, and so on. I pass the time staring at the ceiling, not really watching what’s going on to try and avoid anything that might make me start to feel more nervous.

Finally she drapes towels on all 4 sides of my goods, kind of tucks them under everything so just my package is on display. This is a new and interesting sensation, but my quiet thought train of new experiences is derailed when she leaves the room to get the doctor and opens the door wide enough so that anyone in the hallway could clearly see the meat for sale. It doesn’t bother me, I mean really once one stranger has seen it they’ve all seen it.
 
They told you to shave prior to your visit? I remember just being shocked at what they had done when I recovered from hernia surgery. They shaved me in my sleep, charged me 12 bucks for it and didn't even do a good job.
 
Ben Pierce said:
might as well cut your balls off while you're at. I'm never getting a vasectomy
Click to expand...

When I was once told you could sell your testicle for thousands of dollars, I was so excited. My balls always get in the way of shit, and like they flop on my leg when I'm trying to sleep and it's just a pain in the ass. Then I found out you can't sell them, and I was wildly disappointed.
 
I keep delaying getting a vasectomy because I'd rather:

1 - Wait for a pill
2 - Not get my junk handled, prodded, and attacked

Mostly the second one.
 
bjork said:
When I was once told you could sell your testicle for thousands of dollars, I was so excited. My balls always get in the way of shit, and like they flop on my leg when I'm trying to sleep and it's just a pain in the ass. Then I found out you can't sell them, and I was wildly disappointed.
Click to expand...
gaav.jpg
 
Mudkips said:
I keep delaying getting a vasectomy because I'd rather:

1 - Wait for a pill
2 - Not get my junk handled, prodded, and attacked

Mostly the second one.
Click to expand...
do us all a favor and go for it.
 
I got mine nearly nine years ago. I didn't have to shave, but I also had a "no scalpel" vasectomy, and was in and out in about thirty minutes. I did wake up in the middle of it and threaten to beat the doctor because he was pulling my vas deferens out a hole in my scrotum and the anesthetic hadn't quite taken hold, but other than that it was a cakewalk.
 
besada said:
I got mine nearly nine years ago. I didn't have to shave, but I also had a "no scalpel" vasectomy, and was in and out in about thirty minutes. I did wake up in the middle of it and threaten to beat the doctor because he was pulling my vas deferens out a hole in my scrotum and the anesthetic hadn't quite taken hold, but other than that it was a cakewalk.
Click to expand...
You got a general anesthetic?
 
Ah yes, getting snipped. I had mine done about five years ago. It was very strange laying there while the doc and his assistant (both dudes) were doing the job. He told me at one point "if you feel anything, let me know, I got barrels of painkiller." We even discussed Ong Bak, which I had just seen. He also told me to use the opportunity to its fullest, getting my wife to do shit for me while I recovered and what not. It was a pretty amusing procedure in that regard. Then I got to sit home with a bag of ice of my sack for a couple days and watch DVDs.
 
Phobophile said:
Why'd you shave yourself? Don't hospitals do that FOR you?
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They do a shitty job with a shitty disposable Bic razor and they charge you for it.
It makes the whole ordeal take that much longer as well.
 
FunkyPajamas said:
:lol awesome. Keep the news coming. I'm thinking of doing it as well, later this month. 33, no kids, don't want.
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I've been thinking about it as well...28, no kids, don't want :lol

SpermBlocker-Age?
 
The best thing about a vasectomy is that you get to have "i can't get pregnant" sex which is almost as much fun as "get me pregnant sex". You do however get your girlfriend back, you know that sweetheart and somewhat sane woman that you dated or married and not the crazy unpredictable bitch that she turned into once she had to go on some steady birth control.
 
UnholySpectacle said:
I want to get this done but the "incisionless" version. Not sure if it really is incisionless but it just sounds better.
Click to expand...

A no scalpel vasectomy basically involves grabbing your tubes, numbing you up, pinching them with forceps, and injecting hot resin to clog em.

Shanadeus said:
Ah, the sperm.
It does decrease the amount of sperm right?
Click to expand...

Both methods result in the vas deferens being blocked - sperm are still produced, and are still motile, but they cannot enter into the urethra. Unused sperm are reabsorbed after a while - there's no issue of them being produced until capacity and production stopping, or of them being produced until your balls swell up.
 
Mudkips said:
Both methods result in the vas deferens being blocked - sperm are still produced, and are still motile, but they cannot enter into the urethra. Unused sperm are reabsorbed after a while - there's no issue of them being produced until capacity and production stopping, or of them being produced until your balls swell up.
Click to expand...
So no major ejaculations?
That's quite a downer, but the price you have to pay I suppose.
 
I had it done 7 years ago, I would not let anyone I know have one done. It has been 7 years of HELL..... I am in pain still as I type this.....probably will be for the rest of my life....
 
Lambtron said:
Uhhh... sperm isn't ejaculate?
Click to expand...
Ejaculation is the ejecting of semen (usually carrying sperm) from the male reproductory tract, and is usually accompanied by orgasm.
Click to expand...
No?
EDIT: I mean yes, it is right? Sperm and spermal fluids and so, which should be reabsorbed in your testies right?

What I'm wondering is if you'll still squirt out whitish fluids?
 
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