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Videogame absurdities we take for granted

BigJiantRobut said:
-Bullets transfer between magazines
-double jumping
-jumping up through platforms and then landing on them
-taking turns to fight
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Um, I don't think anyone takes double jumping for granted. If it's not accompanied by some visual flourish to try and explain it, it looks ridiculous as fuck (eg GoW).

Edit: Actually I have one to add:

Ammo counters. In real life the only way to keep track of how much ammo you have left in a magazine is to count how many you've fired. Even if that little counter were to represent the "character's" own counting ability, it's still quite absurd that every gun welding muscle head we get to play as is a super genius with perfect counting and basic arithmetic technique.
 
Piano said:
yesyesyesthisthisthis.jpg
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Haha! I swear there was a Zelda where you go into a guy's house and try to break his vases and your sword just bounces off and then the camera pans to the guy, laughing, as he mentions you'd need a stronger weapon to break them. Does anybody know which one this happened in? My memory is fuzzy, I was drinking a lot at the time... I think it may have been Wind Waker...
 
we.are.the.armada said:
Haha! I swear there was a Zelda where you go into a guy's house and try to break his vases and your sword just bounces off and then the camera pans to the guy, laughing, as he mentions you'd need a stronger weapon to break them. Does anybody know which one this happened in? My memory is fuzzy, I was drinking a lot at the time... I think it may have been Wind Waker...
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In Wind Waker there was a rich person who had some fancy looking vases, if you broke them he would charge you for them.
 
Nix said:
While playing Pokemon, I was always tasked with the question "Why the fuck don't they just shoot me?". Made absolutely no sense. Team Rocket is supposed to be a gang of ruthless thugs, and vagabonds, but instead of attacking me directly, we battle with Pokemon. What? I try not to dwell on it too much.
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Made me think of this Brawl in the Family comic...
hbRQl.jpg
 
Anteater said:
Slashing a person with a giant sword multiple times in hack n slash

and they don't die, nor do they bleed (depending on the game)
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It always kills me when people complain about lightsabers in Star Wars games not acting like a lightsaber should. Have these same people played the scads of games like you brought up? Like it's cool when you take a giant axe to the face in Soul Calibur. Walk it off. Block a lightsaber with your forearms? That'd be impossible! What's wrong with these developers? Straying from realism. Pfft.
 
My brother was playing through Uncharted for the first time this past week and he asked why the enemies were always one step ahead of you and how did they get up into those places that you can't get to. They were things I hadn't really thought about.

Adding onto the double jumps, I think spin attacks are confusing too. How would spinning really fast damage the enemy. How CAN I spin that fast?
 
You can use enough force to shatter the skull of giant monsters but you still need a unique key to open a wooden door.

Also, ancient societies decided that they wouldn't use keys but make recesses which sculpted objects perfectly fit inside. They also often made sure that there were multiple sculpted objects and they were scattered all over. There are also usually trials set up for some reason for random strangers to earn access to these forbidden areas.

-Many main characters are mutes and yet everyone acts without a need to address it.
-You can see around corners without using your eyes.
-When you look down, you might not see your feet.
-You never have to go to the bathroom.
 
great topic :) I love videogames but yes they sure are stupid in many ways when you start thinking about it.

Monsters carrying money and other stuff.
Very popular in RPGs. I guess they could've swallowed it but it doesn't matter if you slay a skeleton, which should have a bit of a problem carrying stuff around, swallowed or not, it still drops a pile of crap when you kill it.

Same thing really - Enormous pockets or back packs for your character.
Very popular in RPGs once again. You could have 10 different weapons, an extra plate armour, 3 shield, 5 different boots, etc in you pocket.

Returning enemies. You kill an enemy, go through a door, go back to the same room, and there they are - the enemies you killed seconds ago.

No bruises and torn clothes in fighting games, and you can keep fighting perfectly even though seconds ago the opponent broke every bone in your arms or legs and inpaled you with a gigantic sword.

A boomerang always returns even though it hit something
 
Fredrik said:
great topic :) I love videogames but yes they sure are stupid in many ways when you start thinking about it.

Monsters carrying money and other stuff.
Very popular in RPGs. I guess they could've swallowed it but it doesn't matter if you slay a skeleton, which should have a bit of a problem carrying stuff around, swallowed or not, it still drops a pile of crap when you kill it.
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Sadly this seems to be going away in a lot of newer RPGs. I didn't care that it didn't make sense. Now I have to collect random crap off the enemies and sell it which seems like a pointless hoop to jump through just to make some cash. Especially in FFXII, where I was so broke I couldn't afford anything and nothing gave you good drops.
 
Film/TV is way more insidious in its reality-filtering than gaming is. With games it's so obvious.

I think crime procedurals have tainted jury pools for the rest of forever.
 
-Countdown timers that lead to peril can usually be paused for some shopping.
-Poison gas never infects you killing you hours later. It kills you gradually usually from 5-10 minutes where if you escape you are instantly recovered.
-Traps are usually built with a way to disable them within reach.
 
You can sell anything to anyone who has a shop. And this extends to any old food you have around with you. Try selling a slice of bread to the baker in real life and see if you don't get a few weird looks.
 
Aren't exploding barrels the perfect example of this? Why would anyone put exploding barrels beside their guards?
 
Zzoram said:
Aren't exploding barrels the perfect example of this? Why would anyone put exploding barrels beside their guards?
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It's even worse when enemies take cover behind them.
 
First Name said:
You can sell anything to anyone who has a shop. And this extends to any old food you have around with you. Try selling a slice of bread to the baker in real life and see if you don't get a few weird looks.
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On that note, the amounts of gold required to buy things in most RPGs is completely out of your mind insane. 500 gold pieces for an axe? Really? That's probably enough to buy the whole store... and quite possibly the whole block around it... I mean, gold's valuable! I know that magical weapons, etc, are going to cost more, and some Western RPGs (D&D-based ones for instance) have slightly more sane pricing structures, but even there it gets a bit silly... there are the normal shops, with 1 copper apples and such, and then the adventurer shops, with magical weapons worth hundreds of gold... but still, yeah, the pricing in a lot of RPGs is completely bizarre, particularly once you consider that the currency is usually gold.
 
RustyNails said:
Health Regen =\

I miss the days of healthpacks. Also, reloading your gun. You're only supposed to reload if the clip gets jammed or if its empty, but due to infinite clips in gaming, we keep pressing R like OCD freaks at the slightest hint of clip not being full.
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Well, healthpacks also make no sense.
 
PigSpeakers said:
Sadly this seems to be going away in a lot of newer RPGs. I didn't care that it didn't make sense. Now I have to collect random crap off the enemies and sell it which seems like a pointless hoop to jump through just to make some cash. Especially in FFXII, where I was so broke I couldn't afford anything and nothing gave you good drops.
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I know, I actually came to think about this a few days ago while playing Pokemon SoulSilver. You can only get money by selling stuff or beating other trainers, the only thing you get from beating a wild pokemon is exp. Kind of unusual in RPGs.
 
Speaking of red barrels: http://www.peoplecanfly.com/blog/2011/01/we-had-to-use-red-barrels/

We made a stab at trying something different, instead of going with the cliché. In the beginning we had green barrels, but people didn’t get it right away.
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They got completely ignored by the players and no one guessed or assumed that they were explosive. Why not? Because they weren’t red. Everyone knows that only the red barrels are explosive.
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These ideas are absurd when placed in "reality context", but they're so well defined within games that basically going against it makes your product absurd.
 
-The consequence for murder is usually at most a small sum of money or a few days in jail. You also don't have to sit through any of the jail time and cut straight to the exit.
-Enemies don't feel pain. They are so enamored with you that they will crawl bleeding without legs just to chip you in the ankles.
 
Double jumping ignores the whole crazy and old changing directions midjump.

And the insane heights videogame characters jump, even in "realistic" games.
 
It's always cool when games step outside of these ridiculous concepts we take for granted. As I read through, I'm reminded not of the countless games that abuse them, but rather the small number of standout titles that didn't.

Like with the sword-hacking thing....just made me think of Bushido Blade. One well-placed slice was all it took. Man I loved that game. I wish they'd make another one, it'd be a perfect XBLA/PSN title.
 
Haha, I just thought of another one - in some Japanese games (especially JRPGs) the villains are always smug and say things like, "Your existence is futile" or "All according plan" or something of that sort. Other times, they will put your character in a stupidly, elaborate trap or tear off their clothes and turn into a monster or grow a monster hand.

They are pretty bad tacticians since they are always giving up the perfect chance to simply kill you.

Zzoram said:
Aren't exploding barrels the perfect example of this? Why would anyone put exploding barrels beside their guards?
Click to expand...

Somebody who knows FPS history could explain this much better than me but I think that the red barrels come from old Id games and everybody pretty much gives homage. Also, it's a blast when it works.
 
You can have unlimited amount of cash and items on you, your pocket/bag will never be full and you will never slow down. (Minus a few exceptions.)
 
I'm playing FFXIII now and constantly seeing 6 characters run up to a boss in a cutscene, 3 characters actually fighting it in gameplay, and 6 characters looking tired in the the cutscene after that is very weird.

And speaking of FFXIII, getting a game over screen if the party leader dies, while every other death can be easily remedied with a phoenix down is fully awful.
 
A Black Falcon said:
On that note, the amounts of gold required to buy things in most RPGs is completely out of your mind insane. 500 gold pieces for an axe? Really? That's probably enough to buy the whole store... and quite possibly the whole block around it... I mean, gold's valuable! I know that magical weapons, etc, are going to cost more, and some Western RPGs (D&D-based ones for instance) have slightly more sane pricing structures, but even there it gets a bit silly... there are the normal shops, with 1 copper apples and such, and then the adventurer shops, with magical weapons worth hundreds of gold... but still, yeah, the pricing in a lot of RPGs is completely bizarre, particularly once you consider that the currency is usually gold.
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A lot of this also comes from Japanese RPGs, where you get the idea that a piece of gold is closer to a single yen and not what an actual gold coin would be worth.
 
A Black Falcon said:
On that note, the amounts of gold required to buy things in most RPGs is completely out of your mind insane. 500 gold pieces for an axe? Really? That's probably enough to buy the whole store... and quite possibly the whole block around it... I mean, gold's valuable! I know that magical weapons, etc, are going to cost more, and some Western RPGs (D&D-based ones for instance) have slightly more sane pricing structures, but even there it gets a bit silly... there are the normal shops, with 1 copper apples and such, and then the adventurer shops, with magical weapons worth hundreds of gold... but still, yeah, the pricing in a lot of RPGs is completely bizarre, particularly once you consider that the currency is usually gold.
Click to expand...

Sort of along the same lines, it has always annoyed me that NPCs whose very lives depend on your success - likely the lives of their children as well - gleefully charge you ridiculous prices anyway. I'll bet they'll wish they'd just given me the Ubersword of Death rather than make me save up for it when the giant demon springs up from beneath the crust of the world and devours their families. Assholes. At least give me a friendly price, or let me run a tab, or something. :P
 
On the topic of crossovers, it's pretty crazy how King of Fighters was basically a huge Neo Geo crossover game. KOF 94 had major characters from Fatal Fury, Art of Fighting, Ikari Warriors and Psycho Soldier. Now KOF is it's own series.
 
Yep. Mortal Kombat vs DC Universe was an even crazier crossover. Because in some ways they explain about realms and Darkseid; yet all MK characters are part of one cannon; while DC characters are not. So what happens to Darkseid; from Superman also ends affecting characters like Green Lantern and Batman; from completely different places and cannons.
 
In some fighting games like Street Fighter, people will just watch as two people fight. Now, that's not the weird part.

The weird part is, they're watching the combatants shoot fireballs and set their own limbs temporarily ablaze and nobody freaks out about this. Hell, if there was daily proof happening on our own streets that human beings can shoot energy balls from their hands, society would probably be a lot different. But no, Chinese people cheering in a market and someone blasts a massive beam throughout the streets, and military troops carrying guns sitting around the base cheering while a colonel unleashes a crescent of death fire from his hands.

fernoca said:
Yep. Mortal Kombat vs DC Universe was an even crazier crossover. Because in some ways they explain about realms and Darkseid; yet all MK characters are part of one cannon; while DC characters are not. So what happens to Darkseid; from Superman also ends affecting characters like Green Lantern and Batman; from completely different places and cannons.
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Green Lantern, Batman, Superman, and Darkseid are all in the same canon.
 
Mass Effect 2, Omega residential district, quarantined due to plague. Shepard walks into home after home, frequently opening safes and pocketing the contents to spend on fish and space hamsters. But when the team enters an apartment in the process of being looted, Shep berates the looters within for stealing from the dead without a trace of irony.
 
EmCeeGramr said:
In some fighting games like Street Fighter, people will just watch as two people fight. Now, that's not the weird part.

The weird part is, they're watching the combatants shoot fireballs and set their own limbs temporarily ablaze and nobody freaks out about this. Hell, if there was daily proof happening on our own streets that human beings can shoot energy balls from their hands, society would probably be a lot different. But no, Chinese people cheering in a market and someone blasts a massive beam throughout the streets, and military troops carrying guns sitting around the base cheering while a colonel unleashes a crescent of death fire from his hands.
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ahahah, I never thought about it that way. Very true, though.
 
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