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[KenOD]

Floating, rotating, perhaps flashing, only-for-you-to-use items. It's not enough that ammo or health is magically there, it has to draw your attention to it.

Headshots. Seriously, look up such things in real life.

 

[Zombie James]

A fat plumber goes around jumping on blocks and hitting them with his head and not getting brain damage while at the same time eating mushrooms to become bigger to help him save a princess from an over-sized mutant turtle.

That's because he hits them with his fist.

 

[EmCeeGramr]

In many (most?) RPGs, monsters exist, magic exists, the ability to resurrect people exists, and these are well known facts of life.

You will still find NPCs who don't believe in the supernatural.

 

[Dead Man]

Um, I don't think anyone takes double jumping for granted. If it's not accompanied by some visual flourish to try and explain it, it looks ridiculous as fuck (eg GoW).

Edit: Actually I have one to add:

Ammo counters. In real life the only way to keep track of how much ammo you have left in a magazine is to count how many you've fired. Even if that little counter were to represent the "character's" own counting ability, it's still quite absurd that every gun welding muscle head we get to play as is a super genius with perfect counting and basic arithmetic technique.

Actually, there are now products that do that. How accurate they are I don't know.

http://www.countashot.com/

http://enhancedpro.com/product/gun-shot-counter/

Well, healthpacks also make no sense.

AT least they provide an analogue to first aid and painkillers, regen health doesn't even make that much sense! lol

 

[Fantastical]

-Bullets transfer between magazines
-double jumping
-jumping up through platforms and then landing on them
-taking turns to fight

This annoyed the shit out of me when I was younger. I just couldn't wrap my head around it. Sometimes I'll think about it and it will still annoy me.

AT least they provide an analogue to first aid and painkillers, regen health doesn't even make that much sense! lol

When games explain this mechanic with shields it becomes at least a bit more believable.

 

[Medalion]

You have a gun that fires interdimensional openings that create an open and exit aperture to solve puzzles in a treacherous environment

 

[Fess]

Like with the sword-hacking thing....just made me think of Bushido Blade. One well-placed slice was all it took. Man I loved that game. I wish they'd make another one, it'd be a perfect XBLA/PSN title.

It's hard to balance a game if you have instant kills. I remember Barbarian for the Commodore 64, a fighting game that had a whole bunch of moves and then a head chop move. You simply chopped the head of your opponent. Could be done right from the start. First move - chop - Match over. And everyone just spammed that move like crazy. It was still a cool game though, as a kid I loved it, but today I think it's completely broken.

 

[gunbo13]

In some fighting games like Street Fighter, people will just watch as two people fight. Now, that's not the weird part.

The weird part is, they're watching the combatants shoot fireballs and set their own limbs temporarily ablaze and nobody freaks out about this. Hell, if there was daily proof happening on our own streets that human beings can shoot energy balls from their hands, society would probably be a lot different. But no, Chinese people cheering in a market and someone blasts a massive beam throughout the streets, and military troops carrying guns sitting around the base cheering while a colonel unleashes a crescent of death fire from his hands.

"Are they filming a movie or something? Those are some wicked special effects!"

Works every time in anime.

 

[Captain Fish]

Battlefield 2, and in Red Orchestra you just switch between magazines.

I believe in the original SOCOM, you switched between magazines too. While the most common system is kinda dumb, it never made sense to me when a character would throw away partly full magazines (EYE does this, and some other games I can't remember).

 

[EmCeeGramr]

Yes, the entire planet is the size of a small country, and there are major cities that are less than a quarter square mile and have a population of less than 50. Why do you ask?

 

[Aske]

In some fighting games like Street Fighter, people will just watch as two people fight. Now, that's not the weird part.

The weird part is, they're watching the combatants shoot fireballs and set their own limbs temporarily ablaze and nobody freaks out about this. Hell, if there was daily proof happening on our own streets that human beings can shoot energy balls from their hands, society would probably be a lot different. But no, Chinese people cheering in a market and someone blasts a massive beam throughout the streets, and military troops carrying guns sitting around the base cheering while a colonel unleashes a crescent of death fire from his hands.

I always felt that this made sense in the context of the SF universe. Like, in the Capcomverse's wikipedia entry on Chi, anyone can read about the rare individuals skilled in the ways of martial arts who can focus their spirit into energy projectiles. There are dozens of citations linking readers to scientific papers on the subject; and the less scrupulous researchers are all working for Shadaloo.

 

[LiK]

Yes, the entire planet is the size of a small country, and there are major cities that are less than a quarter square mile and have a population of less than 50. Why do you ask?

haha, nice

 

[CornBurrito]

While playing Pokemon, I was always tasked with the question "Why the fuck don't they just shoot me?". Made absolutely no sense. Team Rocket is supposed to be a gang of ruthless thugs, and vagabonds, but instead of attacking me directly, we battle with Pokemon. What? I try not to dwell on it too much.

This can be explained.

Most Pokemon are probably either fast enough to dodge a bullet, or strong enough to shrug bullets off. You could shoot the trainer, but then you have to deal with his Pokemon which you have likely just royally pissed off by killing their master in front of them.

Pokemon are the real weapons.

 

[joshcryer]

Read the thread but didn't see it posted: rubble invisible walls. They actually make me turn into a brainless zombie because if I see rubble I simply assume that I cannot get over it, same with things like fences and whatnot. God I can't wait until limitations make that stupid game "dynamic" go away.

 

[Gav47]

Shooting a rocket at your feet while jumping will propel you high into the air.

 

[Jive Turkey]

Somebody who knows FPS history could explain this much better than me but I think that the red barrels come from old Id games and everybody pretty much gives homage. Also, it's a blast when it works.

Red/explosive barrels existed long before "FPS" was even a thing.

 

[forest]

I love to think of how odd and possibly frightening seeing Mario in real life would be. Imagine walking down the street only to see a pot bellied Italian man wearing only red and blue jumping and going "Woo! Wooho!"

 

[EmCeeGramr]

Upon being beaten to the point of unconsciousness in a fight, the loser then gets up seconds later and fully healed, even when it's a life or death battle. Then, the second round begins.

 

[fernoca]

Green Lantern, Batman, Superman, and Darkseid are all in the same canon.

Yeah I just remembered that bit right after posting. I'm getting old!!!

 

[EmCeeGramr]

This actually applies to movies, TV, comics, as well as games, but since it's become so prevalent in stealth and action titles, what the heck:

1) Tranquilizer darts are always the correct dosage for that individual target. Variances in body weight and a bunch of other factors mean nothing, and nobody ever shrugs off a dart, dies from an overdose, or requires medical attention to be pulled out of sedation.

2) Being knocked out for more than a few minutes will usually result in brain damage, the longer the more severe, and in many times death. Keep that in mind the next time your character gets ambushed, knocked on the head, and wakes up hours or days later.

 

[Para bailar La Bomba]

and they tend to be red. SHOOT ME!

In an episode of "Concerned", Gordon Frohman, working in some administrative job for Dr Breen, accidentally orders 10 million red barrels, leaving the Combine no option but to distribute them throughout City 17 because they had nowhere to store them.

 

[Tymerend]

Wooden Crates EVERYwhere.

Takes twenty or thirty hours to rescue the woman that needs rescuing? She's always fine when you get there.

I'll take all the double jumping and raise you wall jumping. Especially the wall jumping where you can just kinda hang out for a while on the wall before slowly sliding down.

 

[forest]

Wooden Crates EVERYwhere.

Designer secret: When in doubt, sprinkle a few crates!

 

[Captain Fish]

The fact that you can see through walls in 2d games and around corners in 3rd person games. What is that even supposed to represent? Does Sam Fisher have extra awareness that extends beyond his eyes?

 

[EmCeeGramr]

You can stand in a room full of lava and not instantly burst into flames from the heat.

 

[deim0s]

Kill a pack of wolves only nets you 2 -3 claws for crafting.

 

[Jive Turkey]

Kill a pack of wolves only nets you 2 -3 claws for crafting.

Or looting three wings off one bat corpse isn't cause for alarm.

 

[Dead Man]

I love to think of how odd and possibly frightening seeing Mario in real life would be. Imagine walking down the street only to see a pot bellied Italian man wearing only red and blue jumping and going "Woo! Wooho!"

 

[Hasemo]

Same thing really - Enormous pockets or back packs for your character.
Very popular in RPGs once again. You could have 10 different weapons, an extra plate armour, 3 shield, 5 different boots, etc in you pocket.

Was going to post this.
Funny thing is, that the western RPGs usually have some kind of weight limit to make things more realistic, but it still allows you to carry amount of stuff that would normally require a small truck.

 

[gunbo13]

Your life is measured as an integer or an easily reconstructed existence.

Also, I mentioned the inventory cliche' before. But honestly what about the damn files the character is supposed to have separate from the inventory? Some game characters have enough files to fill a law firm yet all of them are easily accessible everywhere. I won't even mention when characters are carrying books.

 

[ShockingAlberto]

Massive barrels of fuel are just, like, everywhere

Guards on ledges are usually standing near them

 

[lastplayed]

I've often wondered the implications of a world with instant-heal potions and spells found in so many RPGs. Their society and psychology would be quite different I think.

 

[BiggStankDogg]

Came to post double jump. [Beaten to a pulp.]

 

[PokéKong]

I think it's kinda interesting how we've been so conditioned to 2D platformer conventions that we just subconsciously accept that there are certain kinds of platforms which are "solid" and can't be passed through, and some that are "soft" and can be passed through, but still stood upon, and then often able to fall though again with a soft downward push.

 

[Satchel]

Halo floaty physics?

Regenerative health?

Double jumps

Shouldn't all shooters technically be 'hardcore mode' all the time? I mean really, one bullet should pretty much kill you regardless.

 

[obonicus]

I wouldn't say I'm conditioned to overlook most dumb stuff. I like it because it's dumb. Mayor Mike Haggar is the greatest character in all of gaming because he's also the dumbest.

 

[DICKS AHOY]

Floating, rotating, perhaps flashing, only-for-you-to-use items. It's not enough that ammo or health is magically there, it has to draw your attention to it.

Not to mention just about every platformer in existence; floating coins, rings, bananas, energy pellets, etc. are always a given and ironically we'd be far more weirded out if a Mario-like game doesn't have collectibles stuck rotating in mid-air.

 

[A Black Falcon]

Or looting three wings off one bat corpse isn't cause for alarm.

And that's ignoring the fact that these bats, rats, and spiders are about the size of a horse... spiders bigger than a person would be really scary!

Sort of along the same lines, it has always annoyed me that NPCs whose very lives depend on your success - likely the lives of their children as well - gleefully charge you ridiculous prices anyway. I'll bet they'll wish they'd just given me the Ubersword of Death rather than make me save up for it when the giant demon springs up from beneath the crust of the world and devours their families. Assholes. At least give me a friendly price, or let me run a tab, or something.

Well of course, how else will they feed their families? "What, the evil lord of death is about to destroy the world? Bah, that won't get me to lower my prices!"

I agree it's silly, you probably should at least get a discount...

A lot of this also comes from Japanese RPGs, where you get the idea that a piece of gold is closer to a single yen and not what an actual gold coin would be worth.

That is indeed true, I'm sure. 1 gold = 1 yen is one of the more ludicrous conversion ratios imaginable, pretty much.

 

[obonicus]

That is indeed true, I'm sure. 1 gold = 1 yen is one of the more ludicrous conversion ratios imaginable, pretty much.

I just assumed that gold just isn't terribly scarce. Or heavy. Or much like gold at all (which makes sense, as some of these games even have 'gold armor' which isn't nearly as terrible as they should be).

 

[Piano]

The fact that you can see through walls in 2d games and around corners in 3rd person games. What is that even supposed to represent? Does Sam Fisher have extra awareness that extends beyond his eyes?

I used to think about that a lot.

It's 'video-gamey', sure. But in real life because of peripheral vision we have enough spatial awareness to sort of keep track of our surroundings. In video games we lose the peripheral vision so we need a movable 3D view (3rd person games) or on-screen indicators (1st person games) to help us keep track.

Good lord, could you imagine a video game that didn't cut you any slack when it came to viewpoint? It'd be a nightmare of infinite trial and error.

 

[Log4Girlz]

Everything. I mean, what is realistic in videogames? Nothing. So, If I had to list a pet peeve of all the absurdities I'm expected to swallow its the identical enemies. They are not just clones, no siree, they have identical clothes, scars, facial features everything.

 

[Kalnos]

RPGs where you can only choose 3-5 characters out of a possible 5+ to fight.

 

[Fimbulvetr]

Yes, the entire planet is the size of a small country, and there are major cities that are less than a quarter square mile and have a population of less than 50. Why do you ask?

Spira is literally just a cluster of islands.

Overpopulation is gonna be a bitch to deal with.

 

[sixteen-bit]

Made me think of this Brawl in the Family comic...

I just did this in Pokemon Yellow. Hilarious.

 

[Fimbulvetr]

RPGs where you can only choose 3-5 characters out of a possible 5+ to fight.

And when those three are KO'd the others are too busy doing their taxes or whatever to stop the chosen party from dying.

 

[Vard]

Crouching in a shadow means nobody can see you. (ex: Riddick)

Members of your team have died in battle, but if you end up beating the enemy, your teammates are magically revived and now have 1 HP.

 

[McNum]

Time is a funny thing in video games. You have three days until the end of the world. A timer appears on screen, you have 72 minutes. While that's a very specific example, many games have days that are dramatically shorter then real life. Can you imagine if a day was only 24 minutes? Society would look very different.

 

[Hasemo]

Members of your team have died in battle, but if you end up beating the enemy, your teammates are magically revived and now have 1 HP.

They aren't dying, they are just knocked out!

 

[L00P]

Running all the time

 

[chronos4590]

No need to eat or sleep.
I really liked in Uncharted 2 when Chloe Randomly says

Spoiler

"I'm Hungry" when you're in the underground temple in Nepal

Not a real spoiler i guess but i added it anyway just in case