Each? Your family sounds incredibly profligate.
And why on earth would it cost money to get into a stag party, let alone that much money.
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Was in a wedding party. Did money tally. Expensive :(
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Each? Your family sounds incredibly profligate.
And why on earth would it cost money to get into a stag party, let alone that much money.
This one had around 250 people too. That too many people for you? Too few?
Each yes, and no we're not (Thanks for showing me a new word!)
Tickets at the door to get in, it isn't an option. It's how you... enter.
EDIT: Darn, meant top add to above post instead of posting another. I just woke up from a nap, sorry
charlequin
Banned
I've never heard of someone having both of these, and certainly not of expecting groomsmen to buy tickets to a stag party and pay for the expenses of a bachelor party.
There's basically two possible scenarios here: either you really truly can afford all this and you're just looking at a big outlay for a ritzy wedding, or you're kind of being taken advantage of. It sounds like it's family, and it's certainly much harder to avoid being taken advantage of when it's your family, but I think it's entirely reasonable to be annoyed here: a person getting married has a responsibility to do right by their wedding party, and it sounds like the couple here was pretty thoughtless.
Weddings are frequently not money-positive, in the sense that the amount of gifts given outstrip all the costs of the ceremony. There are many cultures and scenarios where family pay for some or all of the ceremony, however, and it's generally expected for the couple to come out ahead in that case, since the wedding is seen as the opportunity for the couple to get the things they'll need for their future life together.
We (us plus our parents) spent a total of around $8000 for a ceremony and reception for 120 guests, with buffet food, DJed music, and a few hours of open bar. We didn't get that back in cash, but nine years later and we're still using the flatware, kitchen devices, etc. today, so.
$100/head is basically the ceiling of what a regular person could reasonably assume to be expected to spend on a wedding gift. For small ceremonies, if you're still obviously a poor college student, etc. people can often go smaller, but regardless of how much a wedding actually costs you're not going to see any reasonable expectation of over $100 until it becomes very clearly and unambiguously an upper-class affair.
I'm sure you'll lose out regardless. I'd bet you aren't surounded by many people who'd give $500 back at your wedding, even if your family would.
I am annoyed in the loosest sense, it was a fun day. Just the aftershock adding of money is the part that takes ya back a bit.
I'm by no means rich, but this wasn't my rent money either. It was money I saved up for a laptop.
In terms of stag + bachelor. I don't know why but that's how it's been done here (Or at least in my extended family)
Stag had like 200 people. I promise you the groom maybe knew 30% at most. The bachelor party is small and just for the close dudes. We had 10.
charlequin
Banned
That's the point of the stag party, to make money for the couple.
Yep, they are often referred to as money grabs
Leithkorias
Member
You don't spend 500 on a wedding gift unless
A. They are REALLY REALLY, good friends and
B. You've got money.
My wife and I make decent money and we've never spent more than 100 on a wedding gift.
So be happy that you have friends you care enough about to spend so much money on them.
A. They are REALLY REALLY, good friends and
B. You've got money.
My wife and I make decent money and we've never spent more than 100 on a wedding gift.
So be happy that you have friends you care enough about to spend so much money on them.
ConfusingJazz
Member
I can honestly say I have never heard of a stag party and a bachelor party being separate things.
Mauricio_Magus
Banned
Holy shit, one of my best friend got married and I forgot to get him a present.
I have a cheap as suit which I used to go to his wedding.
And he's LUCKY that I went because fuck weddings, 500 bucks? Jesus Christ. Hell, I was mad because I had to pay like 5 bucks for the parking when I went to the wedding party lol.
I have a cheap as suit which I used to go to his wedding.
And he's LUCKY that I went because fuck weddings, 500 bucks? Jesus Christ. Hell, I was mad because I had to pay like 5 bucks for the parking when I went to the wedding party lol.
Skellig Gra
Member
Stag and a bachelor party? Sound like pretty greedy people.
Shao Kahn Brewing a Stew
Banned
Cash, maybe.
Bluekaveli
Member
Hey 
I'm getting married Oct 1st of next year, I'll send you your invitation soon 😄.
I'm getting married Oct 1st of next year, I'll send you your invitation soon 😄.300 for the tux rental is obscene. 500 for the gift is high if you're solo, but if you're damn close with the groom, then good for you for honoring that relationship. The rest seems normal-ish. Stag I have no experience with.
Bachelor party costs were relatively low for you.
I had mine in Montreal and framed it as a vacation for everyone who wanted to attend and if you couldn't afford or couldn't get off work, no worries, we'll get drinks before the wedding. That made it 500-1000 depending on how baller everyone felt like being, but only 50 per person was spent covering some of my expenses I couldn't force them to let me pay for myself. I managed to slip my card into the first dinner and got yelled at after I signed my check.
Bachelor party costs were relatively low for you.
I had mine in Montreal and framed it as a vacation for everyone who wanted to attend and if you couldn't afford or couldn't get off work, no worries, we'll get drinks before the wedding. That made it 500-1000 depending on how baller everyone felt like being, but only 50 per person was spent covering some of my expenses I couldn't force them to let me pay for myself. I managed to slip my card into the first dinner and got yelled at after I signed my check.
RumblingRosco
Member
For my wedding, the tuxedos we picked out were about $150 to rent. Mine was free because of some deal from the tux place. So, I took the price of mine and divided it 8 ways (because we had 8 total tuxedos rented) and paid that amount towards every other tuxedo. We also picked up the cost of a tuxedo for one of the guys that was on hard times financially (we asked everyone to be honest with us if the price was too high because we said we would be happy to help). Because I split up my free tux, each guy paid something like $135 total for their rental. Seemed pretty reasonable to me compared to a lot of places in our area.
Shamrock7r
Member
Hey
Open bar?
Which strip club you end up in lol
It wasn't Chez something, the main one that gets the tourist action, beyond that I couldn't tell you because I was long gone.
Au Pied de Cochon was legit.
Ya its quite a great restaurant.
distantmantra
Member
I did the same thing for my groomsmen.
My wedding was about $13k. My wife's parents used money they had invested for her as a kid to pay for it. We paid for our own honeymoon (two weeks in Japan). We had zero expectations that our guests would cover our costs. It was our wedding party, we wanted our friends and family to have a good time, not pay for everything.
Did they though?
distantmantra
Member
Nope. And that was fine because we threw a party we could afford based on the money we had to spend.
At $100 a head? Better have had some good ass food and at least middle shelf liquor.
blame space
Banned
people give you money when you get married?
Falcs
Banned
WTF?? With my wedding we covered the costs of the bridal party.
We payed for their hired suits (Seeing as they wore what I wanted).
We payed for the bridesmaids dresses (again, they wore what my wife wanted)
They shouldn't have to pay for something we've asked them to do.
I get paying for the bachelor party, but shouldn't you split it between his other friends?
We payed for their hired suits (Seeing as they wore what I wanted).
We payed for the bridesmaids dresses (again, they wore what my wife wanted)
They shouldn't have to pay for something we've asked them to do.
I get paying for the bachelor party, but shouldn't you split it between his other friends?
had 3 weddings this year, cheapest one for me ended up being about 300 after factoring in the cost of the suit for each wedding I attended. Bachelor party + gift + suit cost. Other two I had to travel so flight, hotel, food costs while at these places, Gifts + bachelor party + suit. Shit is expensive.
Man Called Aerodynamics
Member
$500 is an extremely lavish wedding present. And I don't understand why there were two separate parties and why you had to pay so much to go to them. OP I feel like your experience here is very atypical.
Conkersbadfurday
Member
I'm in a similar boat, though with lower prices. My best friend is getting married and I'm in the party. Fine. But he picked out $200 tux rentals which is fucking daft. I'll be in it for like six or seven hours I imagine. That's just insane.
We were gonna have the bachelor's party around town, where doing pretty much anything is cheap and within ten/twenty minutes away, but shit happened and now we're fucking off to St. Paul. Three hour drive on top of much higher prices for anything. Not a clue how much that'll cost since I have no idea what we're doing, but hey, gas is now a factor!
For a gift, I plan on giving him a $100. He's my best friend and I've known him for almost ten years. I'd go more but it comes down to what I can afford and the fact that I'm treating him to a metal concert in a week.
All of us ain't exactly rich, and I'm the only one who is doing "well" money wise, but my work contract is going to end in a few weeks and I"ll be out of a job, so this whole event is really starting to feel costly.
We were gonna have the bachelor's party around town, where doing pretty much anything is cheap and within ten/twenty minutes away, but shit happened and now we're fucking off to St. Paul. Three hour drive on top of much higher prices for anything. Not a clue how much that'll cost since I have no idea what we're doing, but hey, gas is now a factor!
For a gift, I plan on giving him a $100. He's my best friend and I've known him for almost ten years. I'd go more but it comes down to what I can afford and the fact that I'm treating him to a metal concert in a week.
All of us ain't exactly rich, and I'm the only one who is doing "well" money wise, but my work contract is going to end in a few weeks and I"ll be out of a job, so this whole event is really starting to feel costly.
Dice//
Banned
I think being a groomsmen/bridesmaid is met with... mixed reactions. Overtly (and internally) it's nice you're most officially in the BFF sphere and doing cool things for a great time in your friend's life. On the other, it's expensive, time-consuming, and you gotta deal with a lot small and stupid problems.
Jesus. I was in the tux for 22 straight hours. Weddings are whole day affairs here, especially when in the party.
i had a buddy get married last month and i was a groomsman. vegas for the bachelor party and cancun mexico for the wedding. heres my tally totals
bachelor party (total spent while in vegas)- $600
cancun- $1350
total $1950
cancun wasnt that expensive, $1100 of that was the flight+hotel which was all inclusive (all you can eat/drink) and our clothes for the wedding. the other $250 spent in cancun was for tours and souvenirs. we had such a good time that we are already planning our next travel destination together. well worth it imo.
bachelor party (total spent while in vegas)- $600
cancun- $1350
total $1950
cancun wasnt that expensive, $1100 of that was the flight+hotel which was all inclusive (all you can eat/drink) and our clothes for the wedding. the other $250 spent in cancun was for tours and souvenirs. we had such a good time that we are already planning our next travel destination together. well worth it imo.
Conkersbadfurday
Member
Fuck I hope I'm not in it for that long. I need like eight - nine hours of sleep to function ._. Plus I hate parties like this.
Regardless, it's still fucked up. Even if I have it for a full 24 hours, 200 to rent some clothes is daft.
GTP_Daverytimes
Member
No amount of gifts or money giving to you by guests will cover your wedding expenses, shit, if you arent careful you will be bankrupt before coming out of the whole affair.
Diprosalic
Banned
i'm surprised by the amount of people who are surprised about the $500, seems in the normal range for me, especially if it's someone close to you.
Alcoholikaust
Member
same.
$100-$200 for random invites or as the plus one, $500-$1000 if it's someone I care about.
First, you could have bought a tux for that much from Jos. A Banks or another half decent men's shop (shoes, shirt, and tie not included) which I would have done.
The $500 is a big gift! My wife and I make about $200K together and we don't give more than $250 for a gift at a family event unless it's my sister. You are a very generous guy.
The $500 is a big gift! My wife and I make about $200K together and we don't give more than $250 for a gift at a family event unless it's my sister. You are a very generous guy.
ginger ninja
Banned
If it's your best bud, I think $500 would be a minimum, I would actually even go for 1000. For the record, I am not from America nor rich. But best friend is best friend.
I'm surprised that some people are surprised that people are surprised about the $500
For real though that sounds like a lot to me personally. I've never given that much and I most certainly would not expect near that much from anyone.
No, not possible. I was in the wedding party as stated.
Slayer-33
Liverpool-2
That's a lot god damned people, lol...
Also wtf is a stag party and bridal party? Jesus fucking money grabs.
What does one do at a stag party?
User 479360
Banned
Were there not cheaper options for certain things? Like the tux rental? That's an absurdly expensive price.
The gift, too.
I wouldn't be able to justify spending anything like that on someone else's wedding. It's their event, they should pay anyways.
The gift, too.
I wouldn't be able to justify spending anything like that on someone else's wedding. It's their event, they should pay anyways.
Seraph_Nicholas
Member
Hell, I would have just told them straight up, 'I'm broke. I can't afford any of these things. Can I come anyway, or not?'
But, heh, 'no isn't an option', so you're already putting social judgments over your wellbeing.
But, heh, 'no isn't an option', so you're already putting social judgments over your wellbeing.
Well not in my neck of the woods but that is what I would deduct from the $100 tickets...
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