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Weird and embarrassing things you did as a child

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One time I was playing outside, and I went inside to get a toy football. being me, I pretended I was a qb and put my hand forward to push the screen door out of the way. Instead of opening the glass shattered and i kept up my performance by pretending I was injured and hanging out the window like on tv.
 
efyu_lemonardo said:
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Haha.
 
I'm trying so hard not to fall out at work. Guys pls. This combined with the dog tractor thread. I can't take it.
 
Watching Bambi as a little child, there is a scene where Bambi is hungry. So apparently I started stuffing food into the VHS player because "Poor Bambi needs to eat sobsob!"
 
In 2nd grade my mom bought me some kickass Lost World boxers. I loved them and couldn't wait to show them off at school. The next day we go on a field trip and I wore my new boxers underneath my pants (they were the pants basketball players wear that button up the legs and are easy to rip off). Well at the end of the day I exclaimed "It's hot out here" and I ripped off my pants to expose my kickass boxers. A few kids laughed at me and I was told to put my pants back on. I didn't know boxers and shorts were different at the time.
 
Playing outside while my mother did yard work.
"Careful not to step on that rake."
After examining the situation for a moment, guess what I did.
THWACK up the side of the head.

Always listen to your mother.
 
Everyone has these quirky, weird stories about things they did as children, but I have none. I was the most boring child. Well, maybe there's one. I guess the only weird thing I can remember, is when I was 7 I hid throughout the entire neighborhood for the entire morning and afternoon like a ninja while 20-ish kids and several parents were going around looking for me. It was a really large neighborhood, lots of places to hide, fences to hop, shortcuts to take. No idea why I did it. I thought my dad was going to break my back like Bane when I finally revealed myself after everyone thinking I was missing for around 8 hours.
 
I must have been around 3 or 4 and my family had gerbils as pets. I had one that was my own that I had named Hampton, I assume after the hotel chain. One day I had got Hampton out and was holding him in my hand walking around with him. My mom found me and apparently I had squeezed him so hard I had killed him but did not realize it. Needless to say I was pretty sad and to this day my family give me shit for killing him.

RIP Hampton
 
When I was in 5th grade or so my neighbor/friend and I would dare each other to climb the tree in my back yard with our pants and underpants down, in broad daylight. No fucking idea why we did that. He got caught by his older brother and my parents the last time we did that and it was never spoken of again.

When I was in 1st or 2nd grade, during recess I would sometimes slide down the pole.....very, very slowly, and probably with a goofy ass look on my face.

When I was 5 or 6 there was a girl across the street I had a crush on. Well one time when we were playing in my basement I tried to impress her by standing on the sink in the bathroom with my ass pointed towards the mirror and watch myself take a poo into the sink. She thought it was funny I guess (or maybe not). The second time I did it I accidentally scraped a little on the top of the faucet as I was getting down and I think that grossed her out.

When I was in early through middle gradeschool I had a container that I would keep in a briefcase my dad gave to me which was hidden in my closet. I spent a year or two filling it with as many random liquids as I could get my hands on. Pretty soon it took on an odd smell, and after a while it was my goal to make it smell as weird and horrible as possible. Eventually either I or my mom threw it away.
 
as a kid I built a fort in some woods. one of my neighborhood friends ended up stumbling upon me as he was walking his dog. we got to talking...before we knew it his dog was eating a massive pile of shit.

little did he know it was mine.

i also had a lot of sexual and naked forays with my friends which seems really weird to do, but oh well! I turned out "normal".

one time I was at my friends house and he came back from the bathroom and showed me his ass with a piece of shit halfway out - he said something about relating to having a shit stuck when it comes out.

I put one of these things:
yhst-133858970643862_2272_17966350
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on my eye - luckily i ripped it off fast, but it nearly sucked my eyeball out.. gave me a black eye and broke a ton of blood vessels
 
My brother and I used to take showers together when we were little. Nothing abnormal, but we would play a game where we'd take turns twisting each other's nipples, saying "Tell me the truth!"
 
When I was about 9-10 years old, me and my younger brother were taken out to the cinema by our uncle's girlfriend at the time. While in the back of her car I found a box, containing all sorts of sex toys.

My innocent mind at the time didn't realise what they were apart from a pair of handcuffs that I decided to take out and play with. Now these were real handcuffs as I soon found out when I handcuffed my arm to the handle in the car.

The key to these handcuffs were nowhere to be seen so I ended up having to be cut out of them by a family friend who worked for the fire service and had the right tools available at the time. And of course he stumbled across the sex toys and had a hard time explaining why she let a child loose with a box full of them.
 
Rattee said:
My brother and I used to take showers together when we were little. Nothing abnormal, but we would play a game where we'd take turns twisting each other's nipples, saying "Tell me the truth!"
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there are way worse games you can play as a child with other kids...
>_>
 
Apparently when I wanted attention I would look at people and say "If you can eat a banana, you can eat a wall."

Wore my socks inside out.

Would chew on my lips so bad my face would look like a bloody rash.

I was a weird kid.
 
OP, your story made me laugh. Thank you!

When I was 11 or 12 (6th grade?) I was on AIM and this 8th grade girl was writing me some FILTHY things. I copied and pasted in to send to my friends (naturally). My mom used the computer next to write a paper for her job and clicked paste instead of copy in a word doc.


Yup.
 
demon said:
When I was in early through middle gradeschool I had a container that I would keep in a briefcase my dad gave to me which was hidden in my closet. I spent a year or two filling it with as many random liquids as I could get my hands on. Pretty soon it took on an odd smell, and after a while it was my goal to make it smell as weird and horrible as possible. Eventually either I or my mom threw it away.
Click to expand...

AMAZING.
 
I farted into one of those black film canisters and brought it to school on april fools day...looking back I feel terrible that i made people unknowingly smell my poo gas.

in first grade my dad brought back from a business trip for me a "toy" knife. it was less sharp than a butter knife.. anyways i brought it to school to show my friends... teacher took it away and I never saw it again. pretty upset about losing the knife and never getting it back. never told my parents but come to think of it, im sure the teacher called them, but who knows it was '92..
 
BumRush said:
OP, your story made me laugh. Thank you!
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That's okay, Last night was the first time I had ever told anybody about it, and it made my wife laugh so considering I haven't lead the most interesting life I thought now it's in the open I might as well share. Some of these stories have made me feel less odd.
 
nothing will ever top the scroll down to the pic after reading the op.
 
Lukas Japonicus said:
I used to have a big tub full off dinosaur toys when I was around 6 years old, and one day, for reasons I can't remember, I pissed into the tub and hid it in my wardrobe. A few days later my Mom found it due to the smell that was building up in my room.

I also used to have mild Tourette's syndrome from the ages of around 8-12 (the tick kind, not the verbal kind). I would squint my eyes and stick out my tongue really quickly every few seconds. I would also touch my ear with my left shoulder every few seconds.

And I'm not sure what this falls under, but I also used to hold my breath and blink really fast until I got to thirty blinks, and I would have to do everything in twos, or multiples of two. Touching a certain surface, or clearing my throat, or even if I hurt myself. I still do it every now and again with certain things, but it's nowhere near as bad as it used to be when I was a kid.
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Sounds like you have some form of OCD

When I was a kid I would sneak downstairs into a room adjacent to the room my parents were watching TV in, and I would watch whatever they were watching. One night I Must Have Moved From The Couch to a chair in the same room and fallen asleep. I woke up and I had peed in the chair that my family used Lol.

Also, according to my mom when I was really little there was one day where I smeared my shit all over the wall of my room. Gross.
 
Me and my friends used to collect lots of snails, put them in a big dock leaf, wrap it up with strands of stem and place it in the middle of the road for cars to run over. We called it 'granny stew'. Lol.
 
In elementary school, I tied my shoelaces on the bar underneath the sitting platform we sat on in music class. When it was time to go, I got up and fell down. I didn't even forget, I just went with it. I have absolutely no idea why I did it. Maybe it was for attention.
 
Grade school used to have a track-a-thon thing for charity, I was running day dreaming about video games or some shit and ran into a pole and busted my lip. Now it's a walk-a-thon.

Also managed to bilk some kid out of a US Charizard card for a Japanese Chansey. Managed to con a good number of kids into thinking the Japanese cards (even common bullshit) were rarer than US rares.
 
Picked my bellybutton.

A lot.

Pulled out my hair and ate the tiny fleshy thing at the bottom that comes out sometimes.

Do 3 digit multiplication in my head when people asked me to.

Still do 1 and 3, though to a lesser degree.

Luckily I wasn't totally screwed up as I actually had quite a high aptitude for learning and won a couple Math contests. So instead of being the weird kid I ended up being the weird kid that's sorta smarter because he's weird.



Honestly not a great childhood. Video games helped a lot during those days.
 
I used to want to be a cat really bad when I was a toddler. So I peed in a litterbox.

I also vividly remember telling my mom that I wanted to die [because I wasn't born as a cat]. I still feel really terrible about that.
 
Fink said:
I used to want to be a cat really bad when I was a toddler. So I peed in a litterbox.

I also vividly remember telling my mom that I wanted to die [because I wasn't born as a cat]. I still feel really terrible about that.
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Avatar quoting you would be too easy, sorry
 
I had an action man plastic Dinghy that I'd play with in the bath, it had a long yellow string attached to the front which I'd tie around my willy and balls and pull around the bath because it felt good. Once did a double knot and the water made it a bit tight, had to get my Dad to cut the string off,
because my wife was busy.
True except the wife bit.
 
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