• Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.

What Is the greatest Simpsons quote of all time?

Status
Not open for further replies.
S

Scoot McNairy

Member
tumblr_m1ep2oxV6x1qztjn5o1_500.png


"Uh, Sir, why don’t you just use real cows?"

"Cows don’t look like cows on film. You gotta use horses."

"What do you do if you want something that looks like a horse?"

"Ehh, usually we just tape a bunch of cats together."
 
terrisus

terrisus

Member
Gonna paint your wagon,
Gonna paint it fine,
Gonna use oil-based paint
'Cause the wood is pine
Ponderosa Pine, ooo-ooooooo...
 
Shpeshal Nick

Shpeshal Nick

aka Collingwood
Ok, Insane Klown Poppy is on TV right now which is Season 12 Episode 3. Never realised how good it was.

After blowing up Lisa's room....

Home: "Woah, it's going to take a lot of fireworks to clean this place up" Fucking cracked up.

Then Milhouse at the book fair:

"$1 off all poetry books!"

*proceeds to get swarmed by people*

"Their hands were everywhere"

KuGsj.gif
 
V

vypek

Member
Usually, anything ragging on Milhouse is pretty good.

Burns: You, food bag. Do you have a son?
Homer: I sure do.
Burns: And is he a constant disappointment? Does he bring home nitwits and make you talk to them?
Homer: Oh, all the time. Have you ever heard of this kid Milhouse? He's a little weiner.


Homer: Yeah, Wiggum couldn't catch cooties at Milhouse's birthday party.
Bart: Daaad :pointing out that Milhouse is right next to him:
Homer: Oh, seriously, everyone says your parties rock.

Marge: Oh forget it, they couldn't catch a cold with a........ a cold.. catching... thing.
Homer: See, when you don't use Milhouse, it's hard.


There is actually a site that has a bunch of sound bytes from the first several seasons
 
L

Lazaro

Member
Millhouse: I'm telling ya, I didn't do anything!

Cop: I don't care.

*Millhouse holds breath and jumps down the dam.

Milhouse: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH... my glasses...
 
E

enigmatic_alex44

Whenever a game uses "middleware," I expect mediocrity. Just see how poor TLOU looks.
Mr. Burns: "Are you saying boo or boo-urns?"

Audience: "Booooooo!"

Hans Moleman: "I was saying boo-urns...."
 
F

Flynn

Member
Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me.

Okay, Mr. Burns. What is your first name?

I don't know.
 
openrob

openrob

Member
Ok this thead got me watching Simpsons (S5E22). Couple of great quotes


Moe: "Arrghh! I'm choking on my own rage here"



Homer: "Look everyone, now that I'm a teacher I've sewn patches on my elbows."
Marge: "Homer that's supposed to be leather patches on a tweed jacket, not the other way around. You've ruined a perfectly good jacket."
Homer: "Correction, Marge".
[He holds up a tweed jacket with two large holes in the back]
Homer: "Two perfectly good jackets."



HOMER
Oh, I failed again! Everybody can teach a class but me! I'm an idiot! What am I going to tell my wife and kids?

MANAGER
Oh, you're married?

HOMER
(suggestively) That depends. Is there another way to get this job?
 
cicero

cicero

Member
It is a toss up between these.

Mr. Burns: OK, Spielbergo, I want you to do for me what Spielberg did for Oskar Schindler.
Sr. Spielbergo: Schindler es muy bueno, Senor Burns es el diablo.
Mr. Burns: Pish posh! Listen, Spielbergo, Schindler and I are like peas in a pod! We're both factory owners, we both made shells for the Nazis, but mine worked, damn it!

---

Grampa Simpson: We can't bust heads like we used to. But we have our ways. One trick is to tell stories that don't go anywhere. Like the time I caught the ferry to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for m'shoe. So I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. "Gimme five bees for a quarter," you'd say. Now where were we... oh yeah. The important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. I didn't have any white onions, because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones...

---

V1QUhXR.jpg


ANNcsDx.gif


Mr. Burns: What was I laughing at again? Oh yes, that crippled Irishman.
 
PAULINK

PAULINK

I microwave steaks.
W Hudson said:
Total Disaster Insurance Man: Now this place you were at, Moe's, is this a business of some sort?

Homer's Brain: Don't tell him you were at a bar. But what else is open at night?

Homer: It's a pornography store. I was buying pornography.

Homer's Brain: Heh, heh, heh. I would never have thought of that.
Click to expand...

His delivery of this line is what sells it, so funny.
 
D

Darksol

Member
When Homer knocks over the parts to his BBQ and the instructions in quick drying cement:

"English side ruined, must use French instructions... La grille? What the hell is that?"

From the same bit:

"Why must life be so unfair? Why must I fail at every attempt at masonry?"
 
I

I Wanna Be The Guy

U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!
Darksol said:
When Homer knocks over the parts to his BBQ and the instructions in quick drying cement:

"English side ruined, must use French instructions... La grille? What the hell is that?"

From the same bit:

"Why must life be so unfair? Why must I fail at every attempt at masonry?"
Click to expand...
Nah, the best moment in that episode is:

That's one fine lookin barbecue pit. WHY DOESN'T MINE LOOK LIKE THAT?!
 
F

FutureZombie

Banned
Homer: I could help others... I'll get a bunch of monkeys, dress them up, and make them re-enact the Civil War!

Lisa: Dad, that doesn't help people.

Homer: Couldn't hurt. Unless the monkeys started hurting people... which they almost certainly would.
 
V

Varjet

Member
I saw you pouring your heart and soul into this business and getting nowhere. I saw you desperately trying to cram one more salty treat into America's already bloated snack hole. So I did what I could. I did what any loving husband would do! I reached out to some violent mobsters!
 
C

chicko1983

Member
First Bush invades my home turf, then he takes my pals, then he makes fun of the way I talk -- probably -- now he steals my right to raise a
disobedient, smart-alecky son! Well, that's it!
-- Homer Simpson
Two Bad Neighbors
 
F

foxtrot3d

Banned
openrob said:
Ok this thead got me watching Simpsons (S5E22). Couple of great quotes

HOMER
Oh, I failed again! Everybody can teach a class but me! I'm an idiot! What am I going to tell my wife and kids?
Click to expand...

Ugh, you missed the best part directly before this.

HOMER
Wait a minute, even Lenny is teaching a class. Look at the way they admire and adore him. That's it! If he can teach a class, HE can teach a class! I mean I can teach a class!

*Homer is being interviewed by the manager.*

MANAGER
What is your area of expertise?

HOMER
Well, I can tell the difference between butter and 'I Can't Believe It's Not Butter'.

MANAGER
No you can't, Mr. Simpson, no-one can!
 
A

Aaron Strife

Banned
Homer, Bart and Lisa in Burns' mansion

Bart: (riding a bike) I'm Al Unser Jr.!
Lisa: (riding a horse) I'm Princess Margaret!
Homer: (riding a tractor) I'M DRUNK
 
N

Null&Void

Neo Member
Kent Brockman: Arnie, you're supposed to be filming people coping with the loss of their church!
Arnie Pie: And how am I supposed to do that? Do I have a magic lens that can see into peoples SOULS? Well, yours would be BLACK, Kent! BLACK AS THE ACE OF SPADES!
 
K

krae_man

Member
Duffman can't breath OH NO!

Hello, is this GBM? You wrote in the personals that you're looking for a soul mate. Well, I also like rainy days and movies.

No, I don't like that...or that. It's not that I'm afraid... I'm going to hang up now, bye!
 
S

Switch Back 9

a lot of my threads involve me fucking up somehow. Perhaps I'm a moron?
tempest3 said:
Usually, anything ragging on Milhouse is pretty good.

Burns: You, food bag. Do you have a son?
Homer: I sure do.
Burns: And is he a constant disappointment? Does he bring home nitwits and make you talk to them?
Homer: Oh, all the time. Have you ever heard of this kid Milhouse? He's a little weiner.
Click to expand...

The way homer rolls eyes aND points with his food while delivering this line fucking slays me. Such an underrated scene.
 
V

vypek

Member
Switch Back 9 said:
The way homer rolls eyes aND points with his food while delivering this line fucking slays me. Such an underrated scene.
Click to expand...

I agree its underrated. He's about to enter a tirade about Milhouse until Mr. Burns interrupts him. So many quality episodes in this series
 
G

Goodacre0081

Member
Grampa: That's my son up there!
Old Jewish Man: What, the balding fat-ass?
Grampa: Uh, no, the Hindu guy...

---------

Mr. Burns: I'd like to send this letter to the Prussian consulate in Siam by aeromail. Am I too late for the 4:30 autogyro?
 
M

Magnet_Man

Member
Hibbert: Now, now, there's no need to resort to violence.
Moe: Sure there is. *WHAM*

You might be saying to yourself, "Troy, I've seen every episode of the Simpsons. There's nothing new you could show me". You've got some attitude, mister.

His ass is gonna blow!

Hello. Smithers. You're quite good. At turning. Me on.
Smithers: Um....You probably should ignore that.

Correction: FREE blood!
 
Shpeshal Nick

Shpeshal Nick

aka Collingwood
Lenny: "That was too smart he's one of THEM!"

Bart: "No you shut up"
Lisa: "That doesn't make any sense"
Bart: "No you shut up"
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar threads

‘The Simpsons’ Co-Creator Says Homer Will Keep On Strangling Bart: “Nothing’s Getting Tamed”
30
2K
poodaddy replied
After 200,000 Votes, Game Informer Readers Name Zelda: Ocarina of Time as the Greatest Game of All Time
Social Community 2 3 4
160
6K
SHA replied
Humble Slice, Dice, and Everything Nice (D3 "After Dark") Bundle
5
568
jshackles replied
Here are the best and worst states for surviving a zombie apocalypse
32
2K
Darkmakaimura replied
Zack Snyder Says DC Is Making Batman 'Irrelevant' If He Can't Kill
2
50
2K
FunkMiller replied
Top Bottom