MWS Natural
Member
Mister_Mingi said:
Funniest shit I've read on GAF all day.
-
Hey Guest. Check out your NeoGAF Wrapped 2025 results here!
What is the worst thing you've ever done?
- Thread starter GDJustin
- Start date
- Status
Funniest shit I've read on GAF all day.
Ganondorfo
Junior Member
I threw a rock very far away, it hit someone in the head.
the roadkill one, that reminds me......
19 a year out of high school, me and my friend were walking by our old school and found a dead seagull with a broken neck. we got really really excited because someone ahead of us got the genius idea to put their spare change on it. Somebody put money on a dead animal. I still can't believe how awesome that sounds and looked. Anyways.....
My friend kept the dead bird in his trunk in a mcdonalds bag for 11 months. We would bring it out at least once a week and do something cool with it, like bringing into public places or restaurants and trying to feed it. The coolest thing we did was we'd go around our high school when all the kids were getting out with it hanging out the window, trying to touch the dead bird on people that we knew that still went there. One time there was lotion in the car and i started squirting lotion and rubbing it into the dead birds nasy feathers, and then kissed it's beak in front of some cheerleaders.
We'd also go around after school giving kids free money. My friend once gave the star basketball player a 100 dollar bill and then peeled out. I heard later that he spent it on weed and the strip club.
19 a year out of high school, me and my friend were walking by our old school and found a dead seagull with a broken neck. we got really really excited because someone ahead of us got the genius idea to put their spare change on it. Somebody put money on a dead animal. I still can't believe how awesome that sounds and looked. Anyways.....
My friend kept the dead bird in his trunk in a mcdonalds bag for 11 months. We would bring it out at least once a week and do something cool with it, like bringing into public places or restaurants and trying to feed it. The coolest thing we did was we'd go around our high school when all the kids were getting out with it hanging out the window, trying to touch the dead bird on people that we knew that still went there. One time there was lotion in the car and i started squirting lotion and rubbing it into the dead birds nasy feathers, and then kissed it's beak in front of some cheerleaders.
We'd also go around after school giving kids free money. My friend once gave the star basketball player a 100 dollar bill and then peeled out. I heard later that he spent it on weed and the strip club.
Mister_Mingi
Member
Another to my list:
I was a counselor at a Christian discipleship program. I was there for quite some time. A new resident came in and was all beat up from drugs. Eventually I noticed she took a liking to me and I liked her too. But as a counselor, I couldn't get with her. Anyways, we did anyways. It went on for awhile and even escalated to us having sex in the office after lights out on the night I had "overseer" position of the house, which meant having all the keys. Months later they found out our relationship and gave me the boot and she was able to stay. But about a month later they found out we had sex in the office and told her that if they had known this earlier, she would have been kicked out as well. They proceeded to change the couch in the office.
Oh the reasons this was bad because not only having sex at Christian discipleship's office but she could have been kicked out and not be ready. Therefore going back to heroin.
I was a counselor at a Christian discipleship program. I was there for quite some time. A new resident came in and was all beat up from drugs. Eventually I noticed she took a liking to me and I liked her too. But as a counselor, I couldn't get with her. Anyways, we did anyways. It went on for awhile and even escalated to us having sex in the office after lights out on the night I had "overseer" position of the house, which meant having all the keys. Months later they found out our relationship and gave me the boot and she was able to stay. But about a month later they found out we had sex in the office and told her that if they had known this earlier, she would have been kicked out as well. They proceeded to change the couch in the office.
Oh the reasons this was bad because not only having sex at Christian discipleship's office but she could have been kicked out and not be ready. Therefore going back to heroin.
Feral Youth
Banned
I once threw a brick at a cows face.
It's expression was like."What the fuck was the point of that"
It just stood there and looked at me.
Oh I once stole some electric guitars and some Cd's from a camp site, I/we felt guilty though and brought them back.
It's expression was like."What the fuck was the point of that"
It just stood there and looked at me.
Oh I once stole some electric guitars and some Cd's from a camp site, I/we felt guilty though and brought them back.
Mr.Potato Head
Banned
Me and my homie once made this dude get in the back of my car seat because we had "thought" he stole some yayo from us off the kitchen table.. he didnt want to give it up "atleast" we thought as he denied ever taken it over and over....so as i said, we forced him into the car since we didnt want the women in the living room playing cards having a good time,etc to see what we were gonna do to this dude.. so we take him in my car behind this abandon factory..i pop the trunk, i grab this VERY thick chain that i use to use to tie up my pit bull before he died in a dog fight.. we drag the dude out from the car, to the back of the car ..my friend holds him down after smacking him around a bit on the ground and i comense to beat the dude with the thick chain on his back, legs and arms..he's on the ground in pain..we hurry up and hop in the car while this dude is still on the ground behind my car moaning..well i accidentally put the car in reverse when i go to sped off...so i run over the poor joe, put the car in forward and run over the guy again "on accident as i was nervous at this point" and finally pull out to the main road...i wont lie, i HONESTLY thought we killed the guy after that...
Now we get back to the house, look around more and after about 10 minutes, i notice the yayo that we accused him of stealing from us on the ground under the "lip" of the table..hard to explain but the kitchen tables ..the island kitchen table has a bottom lip that shit can sorta slide under and its to hard to see, we didnt notice that when the guy was there...so..well thats where it was...was qtr oz of some FIRE yayo, totally uncut. i was getting it from a guy from chicago that was getting it straight from Florida Key's which of course was coming from Columbia... those were my old days, my life has changed 10 fold since then ..thanks to my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
Anyways....i felt real bad..i landed up running into this guy like 5 years later at a sports bar..i had to go up and apologize to him
Now we get back to the house, look around more and after about 10 minutes, i notice the yayo that we accused him of stealing from us on the ground under the "lip" of the table..hard to explain but the kitchen tables ..the island kitchen table has a bottom lip that shit can sorta slide under and its to hard to see, we didnt notice that when the guy was there...so..well thats where it was...was qtr oz of some FIRE yayo, totally uncut. i was getting it from a guy from chicago that was getting it straight from Florida Key's which of course was coming from Columbia... those were my old days, my life has changed 10 fold since then ..thanks to my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
Anyways....i felt real bad..i landed up running into this guy like 5 years later at a sports bar..i had to go up and apologize to him
The Lamonster
Member
I killed a mouse with a BB gun. I also threw a textbook at my own friend's face.
I didn't have a very good reason for either, so I think those are the worst two things I've ever done.
I didn't have a very good reason for either, so I think those are the worst two things I've ever done.
Geez, GAF is a lot cheaper than regular psychiatrists...
Anyway, after having read this page content, I came to the conclusion that I will tell this :
I am a 24 yo (yes, yes, my age on my profile is a lie) guy and I sadly never felt that I was "behind the wheel" when it come to my life. I am a plain loser who has never been able to know what he wants. The sad thing is that I have incredible parents wo love me from the bottom of their hearts and work a lot to help me studying abroad. And guess what ? Yeah, the incredibly lucky asshole that I am feels like he'll never be able to lift up his parents generosity nor that he'll be able to please them in the future.
Sincerely, that fucks my mood up. I made stupid things like forcing girls, saying that I love them when it was not true and even beat the hell out of other kids when I was young. But I can't bear the pain of seeing my parents working hard for a damn stupid and retarded non-adult who never got a life. Sometimes, I really wished they had another son that me.
But, yeah, things move on. I feel kinda good after having talked and see the other confessions. Thanks GAF.
Anyway, after having read this page content, I came to the conclusion that I will tell this :
I am a 24 yo (yes, yes, my age on my profile is a lie) guy and I sadly never felt that I was "behind the wheel" when it come to my life. I am a plain loser who has never been able to know what he wants. The sad thing is that I have incredible parents wo love me from the bottom of their hearts and work a lot to help me studying abroad. And guess what ? Yeah, the incredibly lucky asshole that I am feels like he'll never be able to lift up his parents generosity nor that he'll be able to please them in the future.
Sincerely, that fucks my mood up. I made stupid things like forcing girls, saying that I love them when it was not true and even beat the hell out of other kids when I was young. But I can't bear the pain of seeing my parents working hard for a damn stupid and retarded non-adult who never got a life. Sometimes, I really wished they had another son that me.
But, yeah, things move on. I feel kinda good after having talked and see the other confessions. Thanks GAF.
The Lamonster
Member
:lol Man I hope this isn't true, shit.Mr.Potato Head said:
Sadism.
I have suffered and still suffer (to a lesser extent) from this strange perversity. In the past, I used to treat people that love me like shit even though I loved them in return.
For example, my lovely cousin who survived war and came to Switzerland as a skinny 8-year old refugee was one of the most brillant minds I have ever encoutered in life. I used to mistreat during all his childhood even though, in the mean time, we had some really normal moments like all family members do. He has never complained about it and even now, he is still one of the kindest persons on earth to me. I can't beleive someone can react to much agressivity and anger like this. It made me feel bad every single time I saw him and even now as well.
There are other examples, always people that love me.
I have suffered and still suffer (to a lesser extent) from this strange perversity. In the past, I used to treat people that love me like shit even though I loved them in return.
For example, my lovely cousin who survived war and came to Switzerland as a skinny 8-year old refugee was one of the most brillant minds I have ever encoutered in life. I used to mistreat during all his childhood even though, in the mean time, we had some really normal moments like all family members do. He has never complained about it and even now, he is still one of the kindest persons on earth to me. I can't beleive someone can react to much agressivity and anger like this. It made me feel bad every single time I saw him and even now as well.
There are other examples, always people that love me.
Perspicacity
Banned
I used to drink and drive, a lot. I was eventually caught when I hit a patch of ice one night and ran my car into a telephone pole.
Anyway, since then I've sought psychiatric help and I'm a better person.
Anyway, since then I've sought psychiatric help and I'm a better person.
Mister_Mingi
Member
As a kid in school, before I was kicked out, I never knew how to act in social situations. This lead to me getting in a lot of fights. Sometimes fights were provoked but from a period time before I did something.
1 of these situations: A kid at lunchtime recess was standing besides me and spit. I guess the wind carried some of it and landed on me or he was just a lousy shot with his bodily fluids. I was pissed.... but as the day went on and I continued to bottle that thought in my anger grew. So when I was him in 8th period, I spit in his face and dented the locker by slamming his face into it. Needless to say he never did spit around me again.
Another one of these situations: A kid I associated with was talking to me and he began speaking to me by saying nigga. Well I asked him not to call me that even if it's slang just out of respect. I'm not black but I didn't like being called that back then. Well he continued to do so. I gave him the option to STFU and GTFO away from me. He did but in my eyes he already was fucked. He went to talk to some mutual friends at a lunch table. While he was leaning forward on to the table, I tapped him on the shoulder and said "WTF is up, nigga?" and hit him with one of the hardest punches I have ever thrown. I think it would have broken diamond on Test Your Might from Mortal Kombat. At the least it was going to break steel. He lands on his ass and slides about 5 feet. My friend still says he slid like 10 but I was too preoccupied with this kid to get an official ruling. He tries to get up and return some blows but he's too disoriented. I tag him up a bit before it gets broken up. Swollen jaw for a long time.
We ended up being closer friends afterwards.
One more...ahhh maybe some other time. I have done a lot of rotten crap in my younger days. I'm glad my days of living for myself are over.
1 of these situations: A kid at lunchtime recess was standing besides me and spit. I guess the wind carried some of it and landed on me or he was just a lousy shot with his bodily fluids. I was pissed.... but as the day went on and I continued to bottle that thought in my anger grew. So when I was him in 8th period, I spit in his face and dented the locker by slamming his face into it. Needless to say he never did spit around me again.
Another one of these situations: A kid I associated with was talking to me and he began speaking to me by saying nigga. Well I asked him not to call me that even if it's slang just out of respect. I'm not black but I didn't like being called that back then. Well he continued to do so. I gave him the option to STFU and GTFO away from me. He did but in my eyes he already was fucked. He went to talk to some mutual friends at a lunch table. While he was leaning forward on to the table, I tapped him on the shoulder and said "WTF is up, nigga?" and hit him with one of the hardest punches I have ever thrown. I think it would have broken diamond on Test Your Might from Mortal Kombat. At the least it was going to break steel. He lands on his ass and slides about 5 feet. My friend still says he slid like 10 but I was too preoccupied with this kid to get an official ruling. He tries to get up and return some blows but he's too disoriented. I tag him up a bit before it gets broken up. Swollen jaw for a long time.
We ended up being closer friends afterwards.
One more...ahhh maybe some other time. I have done a lot of rotten crap in my younger days. I'm glad my days of living for myself are over.
Zoramon089
Banned
Some of you are truly fucked up people. I'm honestly disgusted by what I've read, and I consider myself fairly desensitized to these types of things
Mister_Mingi
Member
Zoramon089 said:
I guess you should reconsider how desensitized you think you truly are then.
When I was in the Army, I slept with my 1st wife's best friend who flew down to visit us in Ft. Hood TX, then I made her and my wife really guilty that I got them to have sex (you know the whole if you love me or I'll leave you here stranded with no family or friends bullshit) then I fucked them both and came inside. Neither were on BC.
A couple of months later I slept with my Cpt's wife in his assigned Helo (I was a Black Hawk Crew Chief) while I was C.Q.
Shot the shit out of some "deer" (Texas deer are about as big as dogs) while undergoing nighttime gunnery training with my M60 from the side of my Black Hawk.
Also I got my first wife to pay for my plane ticket to see some girl that I was banging in FT. Eustis V.A. so that "I could get her out of my system."
The final straw was when I was caught by her fucking some girl on our bed. I asked if she wanted to join. Yeah no wonder why I got divorced.
I feel like a dick.
A couple of months later I slept with my Cpt's wife in his assigned Helo (I was a Black Hawk Crew Chief) while I was C.Q.
Shot the shit out of some "deer" (Texas deer are about as big as dogs) while undergoing nighttime gunnery training with my M60 from the side of my Black Hawk.
Also I got my first wife to pay for my plane ticket to see some girl that I was banging in FT. Eustis V.A. so that "I could get her out of my system."
The final straw was when I was caught by her fucking some girl on our bed. I asked if she wanted to join. Yeah no wonder why I got divorced.
I feel like a dick.
Kamen Rider Prism
Member
Haven't posted here in a while. Worst thing I ever did to this day was to the girl I love. I even introduced her to this forum and she still posts here. This happened 3 years ago. I wanted to go to college so I could make something better of myself and I decided it would be easier for me to do it closer to home. So one day I packed my bags and left without any prior warning. It was a really jerkish move because I totally treated her like dirt and didn't show any concern for her feelings. I ended up in denial of my feelings for her for a while afterwards to try and cover up the guilt. I think thats what makes it the worst thing I did to a person. I tried to play it off like it was nothing when I knew deep down I screwed her over. Well I eventually dealt with the guilt in my own way and manned up to it. We're on good terms again. But it feels nice to get it off my chest.
Khalifa Jayy
Banned
I'm the pastor's son.agrajag said:
pizzaguysrevenge
Banned
Well you're not. Not by a longshot.Zoramon089 said:
I laughed at both the heroin cats and the double run over innocent coke dude. That's desensitized.
SundaySounds
Banned
Mr.Potato Head said:
God damn. You one bad mother fucker.
pizzaguysrevenge
Banned
That's the best part. :lolMr.Potato Head said:
pizzaguysrevenge
Banned
Did you at least cum into something disposable?Darko said:
SundaySounds
Banned
pizzaguysrevenge said:
I hope it's on the keyboard.
voodoojohn
Banned
I've forgotten to call my parents on their birthdays. It's not like I don't know when their birthdays are, it's just I very often don't know what the date is on any given day! Still makes me feel horrible thinking about the last time that happened...
fullmetalht
Member
beje said:
Beating up people for thinking they could bully you for being gay is actually quite fucking badass. My hat goes off to you, sir.
As for me, one of the worst things I did was tag shit. Stupid thing for me to get into, and I wound up paying [luckily enough only] about $800 for it. When I got caught, they asked if I did anything else. I said no. My mom paid the fine, and said, "if I ever have to be in a court with you again, it better be because you're showing me where you work [I'm in college, might be aiming towards law]." Like, fucking three or four days after the court appearance, cops show up at my door saying they found more shit. My mom calls me over and they start saying what they've seen. It wasn't too much, [turns out they named a few cities they would have to call, as when someone is caught for graffiti, any towns with graffiti alerts out are to be notified of the name of caught tagger, to see if he/she is at large with them] but still, when my mom asked if this was true [I said it was only one night that I went out and did this] I told her it was the same night [it was]. The slap I took from my mom when her disappointment finally really decided to burst caused one of the cops to say, "Ma'am, please don't do that, we're not allowed to see that." I felt like real shit that night. I owned up to my shit, and luckily caught a few breaks. I painted shit that I tagged, with paint that I bought on my own and felt the humiliation when I had to paint two different spots in front of the two different owners. And I saw how forgiveness comes easily when you own up to your stuff when one of the owners of a place, on which I had done a small marker tag [a bunch of other people hit it up, too] on the door, saw the job I did, thanked me and gave me $10. I refused like all hell and kept saying, "Come on, don't worry about it, it was just a stupid little thing." I kept refusing until he said, "Do you have a younger brother or sister or something?" When I said yeah, He said to give it to them, and I finally took it just to leave. I think I wound up giving $10 to my sister a week or two later.
Meh, another thing is directly related to this. It was an honest mistake. When I was caught, it was with another kid. They had us in two seperate rooms. They came back and asked me the name of the other kid, which I found silly as they had him in custody. I gave it [they did have it]. They came back and said, "no, what was his tagging name?" So I gave that, again finding it odd that they would ask me this when they had him in custody. I found out later on that he denied everything. I had no idea, and I felt pretty bad, even though the police had his bag and everything [aka tons of evidence against him] and were gonna fuck him either way. But that kid did WAAAAY more shit than I ever did, and I overheard a cop saying that they estimated he had over 200 tags a shitload of cities. I only went twice before, he went out alot. He was 16, though, so from what I was told, all he was gonna get was some fines and maybe comm. service, though last I heard, the police weren't really following up. Either way, when hes 18, hello clean record.
I was gonna go with one of those funny worst thing you've done, but I figured I might as well put something real that I learned from. Tagging was probably one of the worst ideas I ever tried to put into action. Got my ass handed to me pret-ty quick lol.
water_wendi
Water is not wet!
The worst thing i have ever done is to tell someone i loved them when i didnt.
Khalifa Jayy
Banned
/thread.Number 2 said:
You're beyond fucked up. >:|
RadioHeadAche
Member
Jerking off to FFX-2.
Is he joking?
I fooled around with a girl once and had no intentions of dating her. He was IN LOVE with me and a few years younger...
I told her that we weren't ever gonna date, but it was still shady shit.
I also jerked off to some dirty pics I found in a family frien's house. Sniffed her panties too.:lol
Teenage boys...
Aside from that I'm pretty clean. I've been called a saint on GAF lol. I wear that with pride.
EDIT: :lol @ the fakers
I told her that we weren't ever gonna date, but it was still shady shit.
I also jerked off to some dirty pics I found in a family frien's house. Sniffed her panties too.:lol
Teenage boys...
Aside from that I'm pretty clean. I've been called a saint on GAF lol. I wear that with pride.
EDIT: :lol @ the fakers
water_wendi
Water is not wet!
RJNavarrete said:
i didnt say i was proud of it. That lie, my fuckup, is something i think of pretty much every day. It would be vain of me to say that completely ruined their life.. but i know for a fact they do not look onto our time together with any fondness. No matter how many good times we had together.
RevenantKioku
PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS PEINS oh god i am drowning in them
Winner!Hazaro said:
I need to get back to the manga.
I guess it would have to be the fact that I knowingly took a girls virginity just because I was drunk and horny. I didn't really like her but she was fucking smokin'. I felt really bad about it, I don't think at the time it hit me that she was a virgin. Apparently she was obsessed with me beforehand as well so that kinda freaked me out and I avoided her at all costs.
Fast forward a month and I'm banging her little sister.
Fast forward a month and I'm banging her little sister.
Mar_ said:
Don't worry. I got angry reading that post then remembered this was GAF. The GAF that does drugs and gang bangs at 6 years old, the GAF that kills, steals and attacks people for no reason... and the GAF that gets grossed out by a pair of fake tits and claims megan fox is way below there standard.
I've learned to know that 99% of the time if anything on GAF is slightly unbelievable, it is.
beelzebozo
Jealous Bastard
lied bold-faced to my girlfriend in high school about seeing another girl. it all eventually came to a head, it hurt her quite a lot, and messed us both up emotionally for a long time. she's recovered and is doing very well now, though, for which i'm very grateful.
it's not killing anyone or anything like that, but i take my mistakes very seriously.
it's not killing anyone or anything like that, but i take my mistakes very seriously.
Machine
Member
Once while my friends and I were drunk in high school, we snuck into another friend's yard. His parents had a live trap in their garden and there was a rabbit caught in it. We put the live rabbit in their mailbox on Friday night thinking it would be hilarious when they checked their mail on Saturday and a rabbit hopped out. We didn't know the family was out of town for the weekend. Needless to say, the rabbit was dead by the time they checked their mail. Poor bunny
Broseybrose
Member
:lollil smoke said:
nailed in first reply.
N
NinjaFridge
Unconfirmed Member
Darklord said:
GAF is essentially Grandpa Simpson. No, think about it, there is no better way to describe GAF.
Broseybrose
Member
Ive admitted on GAF before that I used to be badly addicted to Heroin and/or Oxycodone. Like, 2 overdoses and 2 trips to rehab bad. Rehab DID NOT HELP. I wasnt able to get clean until I realized I was gonna die unless I found a way out of it. So I found my way out (through a miracle drug for opiate addicts, known as Suboxone). Been clean since Jun 07.
I'd say, having my father find me in the morning half-dead with a needle in my hand and a belt around my arm, was definitely one of the worst things Ive ever done. That whole part of my life is hard to look back on. Thankfully (/irony), i was so drugged out of my mind that I barely remember it. But I am proud that I made it out. Grateful, also. Extremely.
I'd say, having my father find me in the morning half-dead with a needle in my hand and a belt around my arm, was definitely one of the worst things Ive ever done. That whole part of my life is hard to look back on. Thankfully (/irony), i was so drugged out of my mind that I barely remember it. But I am proud that I made it out. Grateful, also. Extremely.
- Status