andthebeatgoeson
Junior Member
I found my brother's porn stache and he got in trouble.
I thought he was trying to punish me when I found a mag with a bunch of dudes two years later. Little did i know...
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What was up with porn stashes in the woods?
- Thread starter Slayven
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I thought he was trying to punish me when I found a mag with a bunch of dudes two years later. Little did i know...
Count of Monte Sawed-Off
un33dab@dpu$$y
Back in my day we logged onto BBS's and downloaded images of naked women. Each image took anywhere between 15 and 30 minutes to download. You just had to hope you got a good one.
terrisus
Member
Fair enough :þ
I only got sound on their crappy call in show
Hell they took 20-30 seconds to even render on the screen. And the files regularly were currupt so halfway down a chicks body suddenly the file would get cut off lol.
My Math compressor really sped up JPEG decompression though lol. I swear I got if so 7th Guest would run!
Praise the Lorde
Banned
Yeah, poor kids of today with all the porn they could ever want at their fingertips with a few clicks of the mouse.
Porn you had to work or adventure for is better than anything just googled.
blame space
Banned
did anyone here ever find hentai in the woods?
Yeah, that's a lot of porn.
terrisus
Member
Too bad that the homeless people set it on fire to provide heat.
blame space
Banned
porno so forbidden.. it could only be kept in the woods.
John Kowalski
Banned
i didn't have porn when i was a kid
though my brother keeps talking about my father's extensive collection of porn, which even had tapes of bodil joensen and stuff
though my brother keeps talking about my father's extensive collection of porn, which even had tapes of bodil joensen and stuff
Damn
BurnOutBrighter
Banned
Oh man, this is the best thread on GAF today.
I'm only just behind the age of physical porn, for me it was all about the dialup, and trying to hide files deep within the system folders.
I'm only just behind the age of physical porn, for me it was all about the dialup, and trying to hide files deep within the system folders.
terrisus
Member
Hey terrisus, did you ever enjoy porn? Or is it like music
GAF already thinks I'm strange enough as it is >.>
When I worked next to Tower Records I'd grab a Leg Show from the dumpster every month when they'd toss the old magazines. I was 16 at the time.
I also found magazines in a wooded area when I was 9 or so.
Mister Wilhelm
Member
Story time:
My friends and I used to go play at this abandoned farm that was creepy as hell. We entered the silo and found it was recently tagged with graffiti (aka someone drew a gigantic orange ejaculating dick and other assorted lame stuff).
However, in the middle of the thing on the ground they left some crumpled up porn. My buddy was ecstatic at having found porn and went to pick it up but immediately found that it was booby trapped with shit. So someone took a shit, wiped their ass with the porn and then crumpled it so someone would pick it up not knowing and get shit all over their hands, which he did.
Sick bastards.
My friends and I used to go play at this abandoned farm that was creepy as hell. We entered the silo and found it was recently tagged with graffiti (aka someone drew a gigantic orange ejaculating dick and other assorted lame stuff).
However, in the middle of the thing on the ground they left some crumpled up porn. My buddy was ecstatic at having found porn and went to pick it up but immediately found that it was booby trapped with shit. So someone took a shit, wiped their ass with the porn and then crumpled it so someone would pick it up not knowing and get shit all over their hands, which he did.
Sick bastards.
Hah, this is totally accurate.
plasmawave
Banned
They're for the forest fairies.
D
Deleted member 13876
Unconfirmed Member
Came across one when I was not much older than twelve sporting a dude with a foot-long penis. For the longest time I thought that was a normal size.
It is, isn't it?
Was more asking about girl's experience/interest in porn growing up.
Clockwork5
Member
Yup.
terrisus
Member
Clockwork5
Member
My buddy (very loose usage of that term) used to do that with dollar bills at the bars. What a gross fuck he was.
POWERSPHERE
Member
Classic childhood bushstash
Warm Machine
Member
Across the street from the house I grew up in was a exhibition ground for rodeos and things like that. There were big barn buildings where they would put horses and other livestock to be judged / sold when it was rodeo time.
Anyway. Up in the loft above the barn space we found a small stash of porn.
We also stumbled across random stashes in the woods as well.
Anyway. Up in the loft above the barn space we found a small stash of porn.
We also stumbled across random stashes in the woods as well.
Well in that case I've been interested in it for a long while. I love erotica I just find it so I don't know absorbing, that's the best way of putting it. Once I started to enjoy it there was pretty much no turning back really.
Clockwork5
Member
I wish porn was more absorbing... It would save on the clean up time...
Ultimadrago
Member
In my younger years, I found one in the middle of a forest I'd discovered with my friends during school hours.
There was a stump, a sun-bleached Playboy mag
and a rusty machete...
Very creepy, even at the time, but we chopped crap with that machete all the time!
There was a stump, a sun-bleached Playboy mag
and a rusty machete...
Very creepy, even at the time, but we chopped crap with that machete all the time!
Oh god this... I've had a complex ever since.
Anyway... here's my story. Mine was in, I think 3rd or 4th grade, not quite sure. But, you know there is always that kid that brags about everything, and always has a story that is better than everyone else story? The one that sniffed too much white-out, and you suspected things weren't quite right at home, so you kind of felt sorry for them and let them hang around anyway? I think most of us knew that kid...
Well, one day he busts into class claiming he found one of these stashes in an old shed that he wandered into while walking to school. None of us really believed him, but he said he had proof, and that he would show us during our restroom break. Sure enough, dammed if he didn't produce a pretty hardcore nudie mag out of his backpack. We all stood around it like Indiana Jones uncovering the Ark of the Covenant. Interestingly though, he then ripped out a page... stuffed it down his pants... then told us all that's what fucking a woman felt like...
Of course, some of us didn't buy the idea that he just randomly happened upon this treasure (probably snatched it from his dad or something), and that he needed to take us to the mother load. Take us he did, and what a load it was. The things I saw in that shed that day were burned into my mind for years. Really, really sick shit. Sick for a kid anyway. I'd shrug it off now.
Turns out the shed, and the property it was on, wasn't entirely abandoned like we thought. Some reclusive old couple had lived there for decades, or even centuries, I don't know. Ended up with the police at school asking about some "trespassing kids", but it never amounted to anything. Years later I just assumed that the couple didn't push it because they had some dirty laundry they didn't want aired.
terrisus
Member
I lived on an acherage in Alberta, which is all plains, no woods. I found my first porno mag lying on a highway. Had it for like a year, until I left to stay at my aunt's place in Calgary for a week.
While I was gone, my mom decided to clean my room. She found the mag, ripped out all the pages and taped them all over the walls in a playful "you're busted" gesture.
Problem with that is the day I got back was my Grandmothers birthday and my uncles and grandma were there, came down to see my clean room before I ripped it all down, and my grandma walked in.
Hustler, too. None of that softcore shit.
While I was gone, my mom decided to clean my room. She found the mag, ripped out all the pages and taped them all over the walls in a playful "you're busted" gesture.
Problem with that is the day I got back was my Grandmothers birthday and my uncles and grandma were there, came down to see my clean room before I ripped it all down, and my grandma walked in.
Hustler, too. None of that softcore shit.
there were two porn stashes near my house. I was around ten when I found both of them. One was under a rock just 30 or so meters from where I lived and the other under a house that was some kind of preserved historical building a little further away. All in all 4-5 magazines. I had a friend who told me about fapping and since then I've fapped.
One of the stashes was rumored to belong to a girl from the other class, supposedly she had a subscription...
When I was 13 or 14 I had my own stash inside our house. 4-5 magazines and 2-3 videos. I felt incredibly guilty over having these, so one day I packed it all into a black garbage bag went out to the woods and dumped it. Luckily for me we had just got broadband and cable tv...
edit: one of the mags was a hustler
One of the stashes was rumored to belong to a girl from the other class, supposedly she had a subscription...
When I was 13 or 14 I had my own stash inside our house. 4-5 magazines and 2-3 videos. I felt incredibly guilty over having these, so one day I packed it all into a black garbage bag went out to the woods and dumped it. Luckily for me we had just got broadband and cable tv...
edit: one of the mags was a hustler
pieatorium
Member
we had a little porn stash area in the scrub when we were teenagers, it was this washout sort of like a little cave. We had collected a couple of old chairs a broken coffee table a few couch cushions and rug that people were throwing out.
Interesting. Was this something you figured out as an adult or did you learn this as a kid? I ask because this thread seems to be pretty one-sided. Also from personal experience us dudes are porn hounds. Like growing up, boys saw porn as some sort of mystical book of legend. It's hard to imagine girls having the same affinity. If so it's a very well kept secret.
PastorOfMuppets
Banned
Out of curiosity, what did people who grew up in heavily urbanized areas do?
Juke Joint Jezebel
Member
For a minute I thought the thread title said "What was up with porn 'taches in the woods". Now THAT would be a much more interesting thread!
terrisus
Member
---->
But back then if you didn't find porn in the woods it was either the Sears catalog, or scrambled Cinemax
Storm Chamber
Banned
Not be weirdos I can tell you that
So there was a legend in our really conservative farmland area....the farmer who had stacks of porn above in the upper loft of one building. We were 12-15, and one of us had a farmers permit (drive younger).
My friends and I set out for one of those epic defining moments of our formative years. This is easily pre-internet browsers (like 1990). We concocted a story about how we would go to his house and ask if we could duck hunt on his land (cover story?) to distract him while the others got the stash. To sell the story we were wearing full gear with waders and everything.
We walk up to his house and ring the doorbell - no one home. So like some idiots we decide to go in his building and check it out. Lo and behold, the legends were true. One friend is up top in the loft, chucking mag after mag down to us...we proceeded to fill up the waders with porn.
Hearts racing we tear away from his place and go off the old rail road tracks (no wonder I love Stand by Me). Amazing, life changing. The best we had ever seen before were Sears bra section.
Our families were really religious and we kept the stash hidden under drawers, so afraid of being caught. The porn became our tell tale heart. Maybe a month later we had burned all evidence when the parents left.
So not exactly the woods, but thought I would share.
My friends and I set out for one of those epic defining moments of our formative years. This is easily pre-internet browsers (like 1990). We concocted a story about how we would go to his house and ask if we could duck hunt on his land (cover story?) to distract him while the others got the stash. To sell the story we were wearing full gear with waders and everything.
We walk up to his house and ring the doorbell - no one home. So like some idiots we decide to go in his building and check it out. Lo and behold, the legends were true. One friend is up top in the loft, chucking mag after mag down to us...we proceeded to fill up the waders with porn.
Hearts racing we tear away from his place and go off the old rail road tracks (no wonder I love Stand by Me). Amazing, life changing. The best we had ever seen before were Sears bra section.
Our families were really religious and we kept the stash hidden under drawers, so afraid of being caught. The porn became our tell tale heart. Maybe a month later we had burned all evidence when the parents left.
So not exactly the woods, but thought I would share.
Allforce
Member
Jesus christ, my "forest porn" story is literally finding the same exact type of barrel STUFFED with porno mags near a construction site near our neighborhood when we were about 8-9 years old. Just as you described it, like a drum that would be used as a burn barrel (which I'm sure was whoever left the porn's plan was).
It had hundreds of magazines, and get this, ACTUAL PORNO FILMS inside. Like, the fucking 35mm film canisters. We would hold the film up to the light like "we got some tits over here" or "definitely can see a pussy on this section"
We hid them all under a bridge that went over the creek near the forest and the creek flooded a few months later and literally washed away everything.
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