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I think early 20's is awesome, but hardly anyone is ready at that age unfortunately. When I think of it in the long run, your child will enjoy you a lot more since you won't be that old when they are much older. Working at an elementary school made me realize that most parents who pick up their kid look old and it makes me think how older they'll be when that kid is in high school.

 

[Izayoi]

Surprised more of GAF hasn't said, "Never".

Never. The world is far too populous as it is.

You'd be doing everyone a lot more good if you adopted instead.

It seems that most people are never ready to have one anyway, no matter what age they are.

 

[Carcetti]

That biological clock isn't just a metaphor. After a woman turns 30 the risks of all kinds of complications with the pregnancy start skyrocketing.

Get a kid while you're about 28. That way if you still want another you'll have good time to get it.

 

[Escape Goat]

That biological clock isn't just a metaphor. After a woman turns 30 the risks of all kinds of complications with the pregnancy start skyrocketing.

Get a kid while you're about 28. That way if you still want another you'll have good time to get it.

Isn't it more like 40? Skyrocketing after 30 sounds not right.

 

[CornBurrito]

35 for men, 30 for women.

What's this even based on?

Why not use the evolutionarily selected for age and use the ages hunter-gatherers would have most likely had children at?

Are we talking about the best age culturally or biologically?

 

[mrkgoo]

Isn't it more like 40? Skyrocketing after 30 sounds not right.

I've heard it's around the 30s for women.

Maybe mid. Probably more so for your first child.

 

[Milchjon]

When you yourself are no longer a child.

I often think having a kid would be the best way to grow up.

Most people (men) are never really ready, but once they're a father, it's not that hard to adapt.

 

[Photosynthesis]

Well, given that I want to get married in my late twenties, and wouldn't want children before that, around 30ish? Early 30s? If I'll have children, that is.

 

[Arnie]

There isn't one.

 

[I'm an expert]

Had mine at 25, perfect timing. Old enough to be in control of my life, young enough that when they're out of the house I can still have a life.

And yes, having kids forces one to grow up quickly.

 

[moggio]

There's no good age to have a child.

Think about the hundreds of generations before you that came to produce you - if you don't continue it your legacy is ended.

Oh well. *shrugs*

 

[Kalnos]

Isn't it more like 40? Skyrocketing after 30 sounds not right.

Pretty sure 35 is the age where it starts to become risky.

 

[CornBurrito]

In a way yes. I'd turn around the question and ask what is the point of ANYTHING BUT to have a child?

We are nothing more than biological machines honed to pass on our genes. Think about the hundreds of generations before you that came to produce you - if you don't continue it your legacy is ended. Sure your siblings may carry on the genes to an extent, but that's not your lineage.

Actually you're wrong. Look up Kin Selection.

Your siblings having children is still passing on your "lineage."

If you sacrifice your own life (before you have children) to save three siblings, that is beneficial from an evolutionary standpoint. Each sibling has ~50% of your genes.

Also, evolution can produce organisms who give up reproduction. Bee and wasp species will halt their own reproduction, and only a select few (perhaps only the queen) produces offspring.

 

[captmorgan]

How ever old you are when`ve you saved up a nest egg to have a child.

I`ve never understood my friends they saved up for a down payment on a house, for a car, they even saved for a vacation but kids? Fuck it we`ll wing it.

My sister had been going on for years about how much she wanted to have a child then when she did last year the first thing she did was call me and ask for money...what the fuck is wrong with people?

 

[YoungHav]

Well thanks to the jackass bankers and what they did w/the economy and the student loan debt slavery, expect bigger gaps in age with the next generations. Impossible for me to be a great grandparent.

 

[KernelPanic]

Just about everyone I know who chose not to have kids seems to regret it later on (when it's too late).

 

[mrkgoo]

Actually you're wrong. Look up Kin Selection.

Your siblings having children is still passing on your "lineage."

If you sacrifice your own life (before you have children) to save three siblings, that is beneficial from an evolutionary standpoint. Each sibling has ~50% of your genes.

I wasn't speaking from a genetics point of view entirely. I'm well aware of siblings carrying 50% probability genetic complement.

I was talking about YOUR lineage (but still referring biologically).

 

[CornBurrito]

I wasn't speaking from a genetics point of view entirely. I'm well aware of siblings carrying 50% probability genetic complement.

I was talking about YOUR lineage (but still referring biologically).

What is "my lineage" from a biological standpoint if not for my genes?

If my siblings (or kin) reproduce MY genes are still getting passed. Why does it only count if I am the one doing the gene passing? Again, from a biological standpoint.

 

[I'm an expert]

How ever old you are when`ve you saved up a nest egg to have a child.

I`ve never understood my friends they saved up for a down payment on a house, for a car, they even saved for a vacation but kids? Fuck it we`ll wing it.

My sister had been going on for years about how much she wanted to have a child then when she did last year the first thing she did was call me and ask for money...what the fuck is wrong with people?

It obviously differs with living conditions and location..but having a child is really not that expensive at all. At least for the first few years, and especially if you breast feed/cook your own baby food.

 

[Souless_PJ]

Pretty sure 35 is the age where it starts to become risky.

Yes starts. They do several tests and scans during a 30+ pregnancy to determine your risk factor numbers for defects.

It's not like a child death sentence on your wife's 35th birthday where they take all her eggs away.

 

[CornBurrito]

It obviously differs with living conditions and location..but having a child is really not that expensive at all. At least for the first few years, and especially if you breast feed/cook your own baby food.

Medical bills for having a child can be huge, even with insurance. At least in America.

 

[moggio]

It obviously differs with living conditions and location..but having a child is really not that expensive at all. At least for the first few years, and especially if you breast feed/cook your own baby food.

Costs on average around £220,000 to raise a child in the UK.

That's £220,000 I could be spending on myself.

 

[JimmyRustler]

Haha right. Unless you're living in poverty this is a pretty fucking great time to have kids. Especially if you live in Europe or America.

I live in Europe and I agree with him. Economy trembling, media spreading fear 24/7, real social interacting decreasing (internet age ftw.), all kinds of restrictions increasing. Both men and women have to work more and more and have less time for the children. Children are hardly leaving the house. Is this a world you want to leave your children into? I don't.

@topic: I always thought I'm going to have my first child in my mid 20s like my father did. Well, I'm 26 now and as it is now I'd answer the topic with --> never.

 

[I'm an expert]

Medical bills for having a child can be huge, even with insurance. At least in America.

I did purposely have my kids overseas, but not because of the cost factor, mainly the care and the amount of time allowed for the mother to stay in the hospital.

Costs on average around £220,000 to raise a child in the UK.

That's £220,000 I could be spending on myself.

That's over their lifetime? Till their 18? Really not that much.

 

[captmorgan]

It obviously differs with living conditions and location..but having a child is really not that expensive at all. At least for the first few years, and especially if you breast feed/cook your own baby food.

I`ll have to take your word for it but it just seems they`re always bitching about how expensive the kids are, day care, sports, cloths, time off from work.. blah blah.
I`m always like you fucking knew this before hand, why wouldn`t you put away 10k as a cushion. Maybe not go out drinking for one year, or not buy that big screen tv you have and put that money in a RESP for the kid or something.

 

[Skel1ingt0n]

My parents weren't that well-off my earlier years, and they eventually got divorced when I was in 8th grade. It put a lot of stress on me - but what divorce doesn't.

That said, my parents got married when they were 18/17, and had me about a year later. Even at 23 years old, my parents are only in their early/mid 40s. It's great - I love having young parents, and always did. They were "cooler", more in touch with technology, more in touch with modern movies and music. They were young enough to go do fun stuff - my mom would drive me hours to take me to things, and my dad was always up for a game of catch or helping out at baseball practice.

And even now, as I get older, it's nice knowing they're aren't any health complications to worry about, or a fear they won't see my kids grow up. They still have plenty of healthy years ahead of them.

I'm almost 24 and the reason I'm hesitant to get in another serious relationship or have kids is strictly financial - I want to be able to afford all the things for my kids my parents could not. But with that said, I hope to have kids relatively soon, as having them in my mid-30s makes me fear they won't get the same advantages I had with young parents.

 

[moggio]

That's over their lifetime? Till their 18? Really not that much.

You say that but that's a lifetime supply of Jaffa Cakes at least and more.

Much better than any child.

 

[I'm an expert]

I`ll have to take your word for it but it just seems they`re always bitching about how expensive the kids are, day care, sports, cloths, time off from work.. blah blah.
I`m always like you fucking knew this before hand, why wouldn`t you put away 10k as a cushion. Maybe not go out drinking for one year, or not buy that big screen tv you have and put that money in a RESP for the kid or something.

10k as a cushion for what? Emergencies I guess..that's what insurance is for. From age 0-2 my kid cost about $100 a month, if that, but we didn't buy formula or processed baby foods. As he gets older he's getting more expensive but that's because I'm buying him all sorts of toys and shit he doesn't need haha.

 

[mrkgoo]

What is "my lineage" from a biological standpoint if not for my genes?

If my siblings (or kin) reproduce MY genes are still getting passed. Why does it only count if I am the one doing the gene passing? Again, from a biological standpoint.

I understand your point and its not wrong (I have a biology background).

I'm speaking more sort of philosophically. Like for the thousands of generations of your ancestors having off spring you (and your siblings) are one of the results. Your siblings share your lineage up to this point then the lineage branches. But your offspring are your lineage, your line.

It accounts for something. Just food for thought. Not science

 

[Mr. Blonde]

As people have pointed out, the exact age varies from person to person, but imo you should

a)be emotionally stable
b)you or your wife or both should have a good career

My wife and I were 27.

Perfect age IMO consider most if not all of my family members had their kids before 19 and it made for a tough upbringing.

27 give you time get bachelorhood out of the way, do the things that you want to do in life, etc. Cause once the kid comes, that focus drastically changes.

I feel bad for you if you think 27 is the age to "have already done all the things you want to do in life other than having children"

 

[Escape Goat]

X amount of dollars spread out over 20 years probably doesn't sound bad. But when you have limited cash flows and unexpected financial setbacks suddenly you may not be able to afford that doctor visit or Johnny's school clothes, etc.

 

[Skel1ingt0n]

10k as a cushion for what? Emergencies I guess..that's what insurance is for. From age 0-2 my kid cost about $100 a month, if that, but we didn't buy formula or processed baby foods. As he gets older he's getting more expensive but that's because I'm buying him all sorts of toys and shit he doesn't need haha.

What about childcare? Daycare is expensive as heck - at the very least - $100/week. Usually around $150/week with it topping out about $220/week. Say $150/week x 4 - $600 a month. That's a big chunk of change.

Unless you or your S.O. don't work - but many households have two sources of income. And with that, you're either going to give up a big chunk of said income, or someone is going to have to stop working.

 

[I'm an expert]

What about childcare? Daycare is expensive as heck - at the very least - $100/week. Usually around $150/week with it topping out about $220/week. Say $150/week x 4 - $600 a month. That's a big chunk of change.

Unless you or your S.O. don't work - but many households have two sources of income. And with that, you're either going to give up a big chunk of said income, or someone is going to have to stop working.

It's even more expensive, around $300 a week for a good place, but yeah my wife is a stay-at-home so that's not an issue for us either. I'm sure it's a different story for single parent households though.

 

[SolKane]

In a way yes. I'd turn around the question and ask what is the point of ANYTHING BUT to have a child?

We are nothing more than biological machines honed to pass on our genes. Think about the hundreds of generations before you that came to produce you - if you don't continue it your legacy is ended. Sure your siblings may carry on the genes to an extent, but that's not your lineage.

You seem to be talking about something metaphysical, as opposed to something that is purely biology. For me, I'm a materialist. All that is here is myself and my perceptions. Once I die, that's it.

 

[EleventhDoctor]

What about childcare? Daycare is expensive as heck - at the very least - $100/week. Usually around $150/week with it topping out about $220/week. Say $150/week x 4 - $600 a month. That's a big chunk of change.

Unless you or your S.O. don't work - but many households have two sources of income. And with that, you're either going to give up a big chunk of said income, or someone is going to have to stop working.

my daughter's day care is 980 dollars a month. It is however-wonderful-it's basically this school started on a little plot of farmland and there are animals there and the teachers are wonderful and they're always busy-she loves going there and it's worth every penny. Prior to this she was going to a place in the same building as my wife's work-and basically just sitting in a room with painted-white-cement block walls every day-AND we paid more for it.

 

[Aguirre]

i think probably early 30s, late 20s. :3

 

[I'm an expert]

my daughter's day care is 980 dollars a month. It is however-wonderful-it's basically this school started on a little plot of farmland and there are animals there and the teachers are wonderful and they're always busy-she loves going there and it's worth every penny. Prior to this she was going to a place in the same building as my wife's work-and basically just sitting in a room with painted-white-cement block walls every day-AND we paid more for it.

Yeah, the good daycares are definitely worth it. I've never felt comfortable with the idea of daycare though, at least not at the crazy young ages some people send their kids off. I realize it's out of necessity for them, but meh at trusting strangers with little ones. I still remember being in daycare when I was 4-5.. horrible haha.

 

[Salvadora]

X amount of dollars spread out over 20 years probably doesn't sound bad. But when you have limited cash flows and unexpected financial setbacks suddenly you may not be able to afford that doctor visit or Johnny's school clothes, etc.

It really depends where you live. You wouldn't care about medical costs in the U.K for example. I came from a low income family and the state helped pay for my school uniform, that wouldn't be the case in the U.S I imagine.

 

[mrkgoo]

You seem to be talking about something metaphysical, as opposed to something that is purely biology. For me, I'm a materialist. All that is here is myself and my perceptions. Once I die, that's it.

Trust me I'm the same. But yes I'm speaking more philosophically than purely biological. But still referring to biology in terms of offspring.

 

[ssoass]

I'm wondering if most of the people here giving answers actually have kids. After 40? Are you nuts? Do you realize the level of energy required to raise kids? The sleepless nights? The older you get, the less energy you get. I had my daughter when I was 31- and she's 4 now. She's exhausting! Some kids are high energy and if you have one, you will be exhausted each and every day. When I finally get her to bed at around 8-9 each night I collapse in either my bed and pass out, or luckily have an hour or two to myself to decompress and unwind before I have to go to bed and start it again.

The younger you are, the more energy you will have-the sleepless nights won't be so hard.

My mother had me at 41 and I had an amazing childhood.. she was there 24/7 for me, we went to visit places in our country all the time, etc.. and she raised me alone too.

 

[Hieberrr]

30-35 seems really late. I'm hoping for 27-28 for myself.

 

[Midnight Bliss]

Having a child is about the most selfish thing a person can do. I would never want to be responsible for all the suffering associated with life for that child, regardless of how good a parent you are or how things turn out.

 

[Salvadora]

Having a child is about the most selfish thing a person can do. I would never want to be responsible for all the suffering associated with life for that child, regardless of how good a parent you are or how things turn out.

What on earth are you talking about?

 

[captmorgan]

10k as a cushion for what? Emergencies I guess..that's what insurance is for. From age 0-2 my kid cost about $100 a month, if that, but we didn't buy formula or processed baby foods. As he gets older he's getting more expensive but that's because I'm buying him all sorts of toys and shit he doesn't need haha.

Say you where rayed off tomorrow, or there was a fire at your place of employment. How long until you found another job? If you did find another job and the pay was less and your wife had to get a job.

You could say well that could happen without kids and thats true but you have to admit it with a family (kids) it makes it harder to adapt, move, or both spouses working.

 

[Retro]

The same age as when I win the lottery.

I'd never be able to give the kid a better life than I had in this economy unless I could pave over it with a sound financial future in which he or she could realistically follow their dreams.

 

[Izayoi]

Think about the hundreds of generations before you that came to produce you - if you don't continue it your legacy is ended. Sure your siblings may carry on the genes to an extent, but that's not your lineage.

I hate to sound like a dick, but honestly, who cares? Why is you "lineage" so important? This isn't the Middle Ages. Unless you're rich, your lineage really doesn't mean anything at all.

Honestly, I think that you're far better off adopting and doing real good as opposed to selfishly bringing more mouths into to world because you want your genes to continue. If it's that big of a deal, just donate to a sperm bank and know that there's a decent chance you'll end up with a kid somewhere.

I will never have children of my own, and if I do decide that I want to raise a kid I will definitely be adopting.

 

[captmorgan]

Yeah, the good daycares are definitely worth it. I've never felt comfortable with the idea of daycare though, at least not at the crazy young ages some people send their kids off. I realize it's out of necessity for them, but meh at trusting strangers with little ones. I still remember being in daycare when I was 4-5.. horrible haha.

Doesn`t statistics show that children are more likely to be sexually assaulted, kidnapped or other wise harmed by friends (people you know) or family members?

 

[I'm an expert]

Say you where rayed off tomorrow, or there was a fire at your place of employment. How long until you found another job? If you did find another job and the pay was less and your wife had to get a job.

You could say well that could happen without kids and thats true but you have to admit it with a family (kids) it makes it harder to adapt, move, or both spouses working.

Those kind of what if scenarios are dependent on a million different factors that won't be the same for everyone. Specifically, in my case, none of that would be an issue for me.. in fact I just did an around the world move with my family this year.

Doesn`t statistics show that children are more likely to be sexually assaulted, kidnapped or other wise harmed by friends (people you know) or family members?

Probably. I don't trust them either!

 

[negreenfield]

I was 32 when I had my first, 33 when I had my second and my wife and I want at least 1 more (35 now). I wish we had done it maybe a year or two earlier only for age when I retire and kids are out of school issues but as far as where we were in our lives with jobs and maturity and we did all the things we wanted to do before we had kids, we probably did it perfectly.

 

[RSP]

I would say whenever you see yourself as an adult, and your personal and financial situation is fairly stable.

Not saying it cant be otherwise, but you want the best for the little guy or girl.

Had my son at 28 (Girlfriend is 28 as well). He is now 10 months old.