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What's the dumbest thing you've ever heard someone say?
- Thread starter ryan13ts
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BocoDragon
or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Realize This Assgrab is Delicious
But there is a Google web browser.
Sickboy007
Member
I know a guy who believes he was abducted by aliens, so...
I agree with you to a large extent, but you are actually fundamentally wrong in specific ways.
There are current economic political issues that boil down to math and facts. There is also a lot of lying and scaremongering that sin't an opinion rather than a lie or misrepresentation.
Still, none of that would be a thing if it weren't for people thinking their point of view was the "right" one to the point where they begin fabricating things to further it.
Castor Krieg
Banned
How can you hate the country of kimchi and SNSD? You crazy?
Not that stupid, when you consider the existence of Chrome.
Oh! Also got set up on a semi-blind date with a girl (I had seen her on fb before). It started out as a double-date with our mutual friends, and then I was going to take her home.
All was well until she told me, "I don't know how to get to my house."
(We weren't more than 5-6 miles from her house, at a restaurant in the same town that she lived. She must have been 19-20 at the time too.)
I wanted to ask her how in the hell she functioned.
All was well until she told me, "I don't know how to get to my house."
(We weren't more than 5-6 miles from her house, at a restaurant in the same town that she lived. She must have been 19-20 at the time too.)
I wanted to ask her how in the hell she functioned.
fallengorn
Bitches love smiley faces
"Voting doesn't matter" which I've heard before and heard reasonable arguments for, but this was for the 2008 election and this kid meant in a "everyone will be dead in a thousand years" and it won't affect things in the long term in that sense. So really, his reasoning was the most idiotic thing I've heard someone say.
Did,t we have a whole thread where a sizeable number of gaffers said the same thing?
Today.
Guy at work I hate: Are you wearing your contacts or glasses
Me: My glasses /pointing at them on my face
Same guy: What's it like if you wear your glasses over your contacts
Me: Like a normal sighted person wearing prescription glasses.
I hate this guy with a passion and I can't believe he's trusted with the database of 7 offshore installations.
Guy at work I hate: Are you wearing your contacts or glasses
Me: My glasses /pointing at them on my face
Same guy: What's it like if you wear your glasses over your contacts
Me: Like a normal sighted person wearing prescription glasses.
I hate this guy with a passion and I can't believe he's trusted with the database of 7 offshore installations.
Sure did.
StealthGoblin
Banned
If beef and pork comes from a cow, what do pigs needed for?
My housemate at Uni. I died a little on the inside. She was deadly serious.
She was also the one who said, "If we give everyone a little bit of AIDs, that means they'll become immune to it like the Flu jab right?"
No. Just no.
My housemate at Uni. I died a little on the inside. She was deadly serious.
She was also the one who said, "If we give everyone a little bit of AIDs, that means they'll become immune to it like the Flu jab right?"
No. Just no.
ChiTownBuffalo
Either I made up lies about the Boston Bomber or I fell for someone else's crap. Either way, I have absolutely no credibility and you should never pay any attention to anything I say, no matter what the context. Perm me if I claim to be an insider
I just remembered this. From an old coworker.
"Oh, are you Asian? I can't tell."
"Oh, are you Asian? I can't tell."
I've never said extremely dumb things but I do have isms that my friends refer to as the McNei1yisms...
A McNei1yism is when I say something that states the obvious.
Example:
Someone was asking how to win at a certain game...
I said: "Just find a good strategy and stick to it."
Someone else wanted to know what I was doing (I was currently tallying up points for a game)
I said: "I'm tallying the track record to keep track of our record."
I was unaware at how dumb my responses were until they laughed at me.
A McNei1yism is when I say something that states the obvious.
Example:
Someone was asking how to win at a certain game...
I said: "Just find a good strategy and stick to it."
Someone else wanted to know what I was doing (I was currently tallying up points for a game)
I said: "I'm tallying the track record to keep track of our record."
I was unaware at how dumb my responses were until they laughed at me.
That doesn't seem dumb.
Omegasquash
Member
Pretty sure we did.
I've heard lots of dumb things...picking one as the dumbest will be tough. Lemme get back to you on that, GAF.
My friend was us to driving to the Olive Garden, and he has a heavy foot and it scares his girlfriend, so to try to get him to slow down she says:
"Pumpkin, if we are going 90mph and another car is going 70mph we will both get there at the same time"
I think she meant that we'll both get there eventually... but that's how it came out.
"Pumpkin, if we are going 90mph and another car is going 70mph we will both get there at the same time"
I think she meant that we'll both get there eventually... but that's how it came out.
All I know is that if they were speaking European, I would run them over.
I can't stand all those movies where you have to read the lines. Why not have all of them learn to speak English and get rid of the subtitles? Simple solution.
Shortt Sirket
Member
Mine happened at Ball State University in Muncie, Indiana.
It was a really cold day sometime in January and I was walking to my English class. I tend to walk fairly quickly, and even more so when it is cold outside. So I am starting to come up to these two girls who are huddled together and wearing WAY too little for how cold it was. As I was coming up on them, I heard the following conversation:
Girl 1: 'Oh my gaaawd! It is like 30 degrees below Fahrenheit out here!"
Girl 2: "I know! ....... Isn't that a book?"
Yup, that happened. At college.
It was a really cold day sometime in January and I was walking to my English class. I tend to walk fairly quickly, and even more so when it is cold outside. So I am starting to come up to these two girls who are huddled together and wearing WAY too little for how cold it was. As I was coming up on them, I heard the following conversation:
Girl 1: 'Oh my gaaawd! It is like 30 degrees below Fahrenheit out here!"
Girl 2: "I know! ....... Isn't that a book?"
Yup, that happened. At college.
NinjaBoiX
Member
From FHM UK, Out of the Mouthes of Babes.
This guy is discussing with his girlfriend while watching a bungie jump if they lower you down to the bottom, or winch you back up after the jump. To which she replied, "oh, I thought you bounced back up and back onto the platform."
Two guys in a bar in London, discussing where they get their energy supplied from. One guy says Scottish Power is the cheapest. His girlfriend chirps in with, "how is it cheaper to pump it from all the way up there?"
Some guy is watching a show about pre-mature babies with his girlfriend. There is a shot of a load of them on oxygen. "That's awful." she says. "What?" "Well, using those poor sick babies to advertise O2." For US GAF, O2 is a mobile operator in the UK.
I don't know how true those are, but this last one happened to me.
I was watching a live football game with my ex on the TiVo, they weren't that popular at the time. I paused it to go for a wizz, she was staggered. "wow, how does it do that?" I explained about the HDD and whatever, and she said, "so can you fast forward TV too?"
This guy is discussing with his girlfriend while watching a bungie jump if they lower you down to the bottom, or winch you back up after the jump. To which she replied, "oh, I thought you bounced back up and back onto the platform."
Two guys in a bar in London, discussing where they get their energy supplied from. One guy says Scottish Power is the cheapest. His girlfriend chirps in with, "how is it cheaper to pump it from all the way up there?"
Some guy is watching a show about pre-mature babies with his girlfriend. There is a shot of a load of them on oxygen. "That's awful." she says. "What?" "Well, using those poor sick babies to advertise O2." For US GAF, O2 is a mobile operator in the UK.
I don't know how true those are, but this last one happened to me.
I was watching a live football game with my ex on the TiVo, they weren't that popular at the time. I paused it to go for a wizz, she was staggered. "wow, how does it do that?" I explained about the HDD and whatever, and she said, "so can you fast forward TV too?"
I was spelling a word to someone. It went like this:
Me: "J"
Her: "J?"
Me: "Yeah, J. The letter after I"
Her: "You mean G?"
Me: "No, I mean J. G, H, I, J"
Her "I don't know what you mean!"
Me: (drew a J on some paper)
Her: "Oh, that one! I totally forgot about that one, I never use it".
She was 26 and in full-time employment.
Me: "J"
Her: "J?"
Me: "Yeah, J. The letter after I"
Her: "You mean G?"
Me: "No, I mean J. G, H, I, J"
Her "I don't know what you mean!"
Me: (drew a J on some paper)
Her: "Oh, that one! I totally forgot about that one, I never use it".
She was 26 and in full-time employment.
mescalineeyes
Banned
ChiTownBuffalo
Either I made up lies about the Boston Bomber or I fell for someone else's crap. Either way, I have absolutely no credibility and you should never pay any attention to anything I say, no matter what the context. Perm me if I claim to be an insider
I very cray.
Angry Fork
Member
Some said flat out they would rather run over a person, but most refused to answer because of the extremely low likelihood of such a scenario. But on the opposite side of the spectrum you had people saying all people > all animals no matter what which obviously isn't true. If you could run over Charles Manson instead of a K9 dog nobody would bat an eye. That's basically what the debate eventually went to so it's not so black and white. A couple ridiculous people even went as far to say animals don't have feelings IIRC.
Boss Doggie
all my loli wolf companions are so moe
"If we evolved from primates, then how come we still have monkeys?"
Ugh... And to think that apparently it came from a shitty show called Big Brother - and many deadheads watch it.
Ugh... And to think that apparently it came from a shitty show called Big Brother - and many deadheads watch it.
Oh wow, forgetting a letter. That's almost like forgetting a number.
"12? Never heard that one before, it must be new"
She never uses that one? How the hell did she apply for her Job.
One stands out prominently in my mind. In high school, so about 1996, we were watching the movie "April Morning," a made for TV deal with Tommy Lee Jones, about the Revolutionary War.
When the fighting started, a girl in my class said...and I'll never forget this, "Is this actual footage?" Yikes.
When the fighting started, a girl in my class said...and I'll never forget this, "Is this actual footage?" Yikes.
Angry Fork
Member
rofl You're talking about Stephen Baldwin right? I saw that. What made it funnier/sadder is he acted like he was the first to think of it. The way he said it had this air of confidence like he was about to blow minds.
nicoga3000
Saint Nic
http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=36788233&postcount=1
I'm sure I've heard others, but this REALLY sticks out. It's painful.
I'm sure I've heard others, but this REALLY sticks out. It's painful.
Boss Doggie
all my loli wolf companions are so moe
Yeah, I saw a clip of it, and I was like "wtf is this guy serious" complete with his smug look.
NinjaBoiX
Member
I love the nonchalant "I never use it" like it's optional!
I once heard a girl double checking a customers postcode with "S for sugar and Q for cucumber yeah?" No shit.
Gamemaster_ca_2003
Member
Let me drag out the Obama is a Racist statement from Glenn Beck.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GzKFYcHKbnk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GzKFYcHKbnk
My senior year of high school, during a social studies lesson involving world population by country, after hearing that 20% of all people are Chinese, one girl raised her hand and asked "wait -- so there is a 20% chance I could have a Chinese baby?" After a few stupefied moments she added, "Is that why pregnant women shouldn't use Windex?"
It was an advanced level class.
It was an advanced level class.
NinjaBoiX
Member
I don't understand how this is dumb in the slightest. It's the best subtitled movie she's ever seen, what's wrong with that?
"I'm not saying that he doesn't like white people. [...] I believe that he's a racist."
lol
When I was around 10, this one guy in class refused to believe the teacher's claim that the angles of a triangle would always add up to 180 degrees. So he went up to the blackboard to prove otherwise. He kept making the first angle larger and larger, and didn't understand why it didn't work.
Also, a lady once came into our store (let's call us "A B C") with a giftcard from another store (let's call them "A D E"). She claimed that she should be allowed to use the giftcard in our store since the first word in our name was similar to the first word in their name. She said that this meant that we were actually the same store, since it was illegal for two different stores to have similar words in their names. We proved to her in all kinds of ways that we were actually a different store and that she couldn't use the giftcard with us, but she just didn't understand. Ended up with her storming out, threatening to contact a lawyer. Never heard from her again.
Also, a lady once came into our store (let's call us "A B C") with a giftcard from another store (let's call them "A D E"). She claimed that she should be allowed to use the giftcard in our store since the first word in our name was similar to the first word in their name. She said that this meant that we were actually the same store, since it was illegal for two different stores to have similar words in their names. We proved to her in all kinds of ways that we were actually a different store and that she couldn't use the giftcard with us, but she just didn't understand. Ended up with her storming out, threatening to contact a lawyer. Never heard from her again.
You win. Good god. There's no point trying to top that.
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