Someone told me once:
"Somebody as to keep their shit together. There has to be a rock and if you're a dude then its you. Life's not fair but you're just going to have to deal with it or you'll be alone."
Shit is mostly true.
exactly this. You're the one who people have to be able to rely on. no matter how you feel, no matter what happened.
And it's not like I like that. it's super unhealthy but the one time I did not do that, I got shit on so bad. So I'll just stomach it.
This is so fucked up. Try holding back tears when you are thinking of suicide while being in a Psychosis. Yeah sure just stomach it. This post from you is exactly the reason why men don't cry. Stomaching things is the worst advice ever.exactly this. You're the one who people have to be able to rely on. no matter how you feel, no matter what happened.
And it's not like I like that. it's super unhealthy but the one time I did not do that, I got shit on so bad. So I'll just stomach it.
This is so fucked up. Try holding back tears when you are thinking of suicide while being in a Psychosis. Yeah sure just stomach it. This post from you is exactly the reason why men don't cry. Stomaching things is the worst advice ever.
Why do you have to change for the world? Why not change the world to accept you?
Someone told me once:
"Somebody as to keep their shit together. There has to be a rock and if you're a dude then its you. Life's not fair but you're just going to have to deal with it or you'll be alone."
Shit is mostly true.
Im sorry but most of this sounds like socially constructed bullshit and not actually based in anything physical.Because its a biological thing. Men are supposed to be strong leaders. You aren't strong if you cry because its a sign of weakness. Which biologically says you might have something emotionally wrong with you, which would make you a weak provider, which means you aren't a good mate, which means you could potentially not reproduce, which is the #1 priority of all biological beings.
Women cry for emotional release. Men deal with emotional release physically or verbally. Women who transition to men often lament that they are unable to make themselves cry, and miss being able to do so to reduce stress and improve their mood.
Depends on the reason and the frequency of the crying.
Loss of a loved one, some other emotional trauma, a few tears after watching a said movie.
Sure.
Constantly crying because of something like a movie.
Man the fuck up. Applies to women as well.
Im sorry but most of this sounds like socially constructed bullshit and not actually based in anything physical.
The idea of ‘strong leaders' being big, strong, manly men who grunt and never cry are now nothing more than social constructs that have been perpetuated through media and older generations. From a cave man point of view this might have applied but we have seen societies change back and forth on what's ‘manly' throughout the ages. At one point having a small dick was seen as powerful and manly, now it's the exact opposite. We have other posters mention it used to be seen as a sign of leadership for a leader to cry.
These ideas aren't biological, they are influenced by society.
Its really disheartening to see how many people seem incapable of understanding the nuances and intricacies of how opinions in society are formed and changed. Instead its ‘how it is' or ‘just nature', excusing them of any responsibility for the effects of their actions and opinions.
It's also why we have diet racism/sexism because in some people's eyes these small actions have no consequence to other people but ask any minority or woman who has to deal with the unspoken discrimination they get because of how society is formed and as a result how many people go along without questioning it.
Didn't mean to hurt you. I meant I have had multiple Psychosis and sucide thoughts. At some points I kept crying in the train and had no idea why, I just did. But I also cried out of despair and kept doing it, no matter the crowd and setting. I am sorry if I was to harsh but please for yourself and your kids just cry when you need to and don't stomach it and keep it away.you say that like I say it and support it. I don't. I won't teach it to my children and I don't support it in any way.
But I've to do it in everyday life, because it is expected by a lot of people.
If this forum wasn't readable by everyone I'd of course be willing to tell you more about what I mean. But I feel a little hurt by your sentence with the psychosis. Like I don't know.
because I'm just one little dude and the world is big and full of idiots who think it is the "right way". little me can't do much without support from the outside.
things people actually believe
And which are true, crying is an useless emotion, you aren't achieving anything by crying, your problems will still be there, your situation will still be the same, it's just a waste of time, like my dad always said to me: "if you have time to stand there and crying like a baby, took that time to change things, if you can't, you'll always struggle in your life cause you'll always be passive at everything that will happen to you, man up".
Snarky❤;244767541 said:And the moment your dad said the words man up he became immediately discountable.
It's a BS sentiment of toxic masculinity and I don't cotton to it.
And which are true, crying is an useless emotion, you aren't achieving anything by crying, your problems will still be there, your situation will still be the same, it's just a waste of time, like my dad always said to me: "if you have time to stand there and crying like a baby, took that time to change things, if you can't, you'll always struggle in your life cause you'll always be passive at everything that will happen to you, man up".
You don't understand. I'm too cool to cry, it's just not in my nature.People saying crying is a useless emotion are so blinded by their own ignorance it's insane. Crying clears my head up when I'm going through something emotionally crushing. It lets all that shit out and then gives me a clearer picture of what to do next. I'm sure it's the same for a lot of people in here too, especially those who struggle with depression.
So you guys saying it's a useless emotion and I need to man up can fuck off. Or at the very least, learn from others and have some empathy.
People saying crying is a useless emotion are so blinded by their own ignorance it's insane. Crying clears my head up when I'm going through something emotionally crushing. It lets all that shit out and then gives me a clearer picture of what to do next. I'm sure it's the same for a lot of people in here too, especially those who struggle with depression.
So you guys saying it's a useless emotion and I need to man up can fuck off. Or at the very least, learn from others and have some empathy.
Suppressing emotions ain't healthy or useful either. I used to suppress shit like that, and all it did was lead to holes in walls, and suicide attempts. You can't just bottle that shit up. Eventually you'll explode.
You don't understand. I'm too cool to cry, it's just not in my nature.
Or you could sit, take time to think about what is happening to you and what you have to do next, if you need to get shits out, hit the gym, hit a punching bag, run like hell, scream loudly etc... I don't want to tell you what to do cause everyone is different but in your case, I still don't get what's crying is achieving in your situation...
It's not about suppressing emotion but not let them overwhelmed you, it's about controlling yourself, get your shit together and have a clean mind.
Or you could sit, take time to think about what is happening to you and what you have to do next, if you need to get shits out, hit the gym, hit a punching bag, run like hell, scream loudly etc... I don't want to tell you what to do cause everyone is different but in your case, I still don't get what's crying is achieving in your situation...
It's not about suppressing emotion but not let them overwhelmed you, it's about controlling yourself, get your shit together and have a clean mind.
How is screaming any more materially productive than crying?Or you could sit, take time to think about what is happening to you and what you have to do next, if you need to get shits out, hit the gym, hit a punching bag, run like hell, scream loudly etc... I don't want to tell you what to do cause everyone is different but in your case, I still don't get what's crying is achieving in your situation...
Someone told me once:
"Somebody as to keep their shit together. There has to be a rock and if you're a dude then its you. Life's not fair but you're just going to have to deal with it or you'll be alone."
Shit is mostly true.
How is screaming any more materially productive than crying?
Truth post above. I applaud the bravery of this poster in our current environment.
As a guy, I realized the transition from boy to man is how you ”deal with it". Unhealthy? Probably, but most men -especially of my generation (40s) - cry in private, if at all. The only time I even get slightly onion eyed is when I see moments of real brotherhood and bonding in movies. Now that I'm a dad, violence against children makes me super angry. When I was a hormone driven teen, the only time I cried was when I was so angry that somebody was about to get some pain. Hated having to get violent.
Tears in public might be healthy ... I guess...whatever pop psychology says. Sure. But they solve nothing and only add doubt and confusion for people around you that need stability and resolve or just a moment of inspiration.
Not everybody is like you. Hitting a punching bag is good when you're angry or frustrated at something, and while some people do cry when they feel that way, a lot of people only cry due to sadness, and when you're sad you don't usually want to beat the shit out of things.
Allowing yourself to cry is a part of processing and handling emotions. Actively trying to prevent that is not conducive. Crying helps clear my mind.
How is screaming any more materially productive than crying?
I know you're kidding, but I understand why some people might not cry. I understand if they have been raised to think it's not okay. And if they get through life without crying that's okay too. It's when they start feeling like their personal experiences and how they were raised reflect the rest of the population's feelings on the matter, without even thinking that maybe the person crying just handles emotions differently and perceives things in another way.
It's almost like that's the root of most problems, huh?
Whining about being uncomfortable by other people's suffering. What a shining example of a well-adjusted, emotionally stable and mature person, right? You're so badass.Makes me super uncomfortable when anyone cries. Honestly I don't think you should ever be crying in public if youre an adult. Maybe if someone died or something equally bad.
Someone died? Go for it. Kids got cancer? Sure I'd cry also.
Your girl cheated? Grow up. Bad day at work? Grow up.
Get your shit together. Have a break down at home. Don't put me in a position to have to witness your crap and be uncomfortable. It really gets under my skin.
Edit cause why not I guess: the disgusted statement came off more edgy then I was intending. I don't think people should cry in public for minor things.
To be honest, I don't feel fantastic after crying at all. My problems are still there and I just feel like shit. But if it makes others feel better afterwards, good for them.Crying is healthy and feels fantastic afterwards sometimes. Why deny yourself of this earthly pleasure?
Errrr.... Care to explain how punching a bag or screaming loudly are signs of self-control and getting one's shit together, but crying isn't?Or you could sit, take time to think about what is happening to you and what you have to do next, if you need to get shits out, hit the gym, hit a punching bag, run like hell, scream loudly etc... I don't want to tell you what to do cause everyone is different but in your case, I still don't get what's crying is achieving in your situation...
It's not about suppressing emotion but not let them overwhelmed you, it's about controlling yourself, get your shit together and have a clean mind.
Yeah. Clearly not.I don't know
"Stronger", lol. Pure toxic masculinity BS. Screaming with rage is not a sign of strength. It's just as "weak" and a sign of loss of control as crying is. If you really think otherwise, please give an actual explanation as to why that would be. I'm dying to know.screaming one time with rage is stronger in my mind than crying...
Wow.This is a good thing. Women cry too much over the smallest things and it's so annoying.
This is a good thing. Women cry too much over the smallest things and it's so annoying.
Errrr.... Care to explain how punching a bag or screaming loudly are signs of self-control and getting one's shit together, but crying isn't?
Yeah. Clearly not.
Because we look like this.
We must hide this face forever.