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[RoadHazard]

Because that just happened to me. Found it as I was fixing the sheets before going to bed. And not like on the bed, but IN it, among the sheets. Ok, so it was dead, but when did it die? Did I sleep with it in bed last night? Was it alive then? Did it spend its last moments in life laying eggs in my ear, the results of which will call my brain home? What will my superpowers be?

I don't know, GAF. The horror, it just got too real.

 

[Stopdoor]

I just had a run-in with a cockroach/beetle type gross thing in my room I'm subletting over the summer Friday, I looked through everything and moved all the furniture and couldn't find any others but I'm not super excited to be sleeping with bugs.

 

[L33T]

 

[Phocks]

never had spiders but fleas were a real bitch

 

[SchrodingerC]

OP, you know what to do:

Also check to make sure it wasn't poisonous.

EDIT: damn it L33T :T

 

[terrisus]

 

[Intheflorsh]

It just wanted to be warm, and you squished it in your sleep. :'(

 

[MHWilliams]

Obligatory.

Honestly, I'm afraid of spiders, but it probably simply died and fell into your bed, as "bed" is probably not the safest place for spider-kind. I doubt you have much to worry about except internal fears.

 

[Clydefrog]

How drunk were you that you thought it was okay to sleep with a spider? Did you at least wear a condom?

 

[zeemumu]

Bonk!

 

[Moff]

I once found one in the bedroom of our holiday flat when we entered it again after a few months. it was just sitting there on the blanket like it fucking owned the place.

 

[RoadHazard]

OP, you know what to do:

Also check to make sure it wasn't poisonous.

EDIT: damn it L33T :T

Luckily I don't think there really are any spiders that are dangerous to humans here in Sweden.

But yeah, definitely torching the place in the morning. Can never be too careful.

 

[El Topo]

Meh. A few years ago I've had a (living) cockroach fall on me when I was in the shower. Shit happens.

 

[Eggbok]

I had a spider crawling on my arm while I was asleep one night. I woke up and the fucker was looking in my direction. I'm pretty I ripped my arm off and threw it across the room. Never found the spider though...

 

[terrisus]

It just wanted to be warm, and you squished it in your sleep. :'(

Well, I mean...

It's warm now... >.>

 

[Floridian]

You don't need fire to kill a spider. Just use a shoe, or your own foot.

 

[Kaladin]

 

[Randolph Freelander]

Check if the spider had a will and if it left the bed to you. Otherwise, another spider will just move in and you'll have to find another place to sleep.

 

[Kettch]

I was reading one night and had a little black spider crawl out from UNDER the sheet that I had over me. Managed to dispose of it after a quick freak out. I later noticed a spider thread hanging down from the lamp of my fan above my bed, so I guess it fell down from there.

 

[The Boat]

Ugh I have a recurring waking nightmare where there's a huge spider in my bed and I always wake up getting up in a flash all flustered and then I gain consciousness and go "ah for fuck's sake!" If I have that nightmare today it's your fault OP.

 

[Nachtmaer]

Reminds me of what happened last summer. I was in bed for a good fifteen minutes about to doze off. Then I started hearing some strange noise, almost like buzzing. I figured it was either nothing or just a mosquito. I turned over and I heard it again, but this time it was louder. As I'm starting to get worried I suddenly feel this sharp pain in my cheek. I jump out of bed, turn my lights on and see a bee crawl over my pillow. I guess it must've snuck in when I had my window open.

Now I'm all cool with bees, but that scared the shit outta me.

 

[Kaladin]

Not in my bed, but I've been sitting at my computer and had a spider come down from the ceiling and it lowered itself inches from my face.

 

[jerry113]

Try not to think of the ones you've swallowed while asleep in your bed.

 

[UncleSporky]

All the references to fire...does fire even work on spiders? They're chitinous. They got exo-armor.

 

[Ryan_MSF]

Do it OP.

 

[Toxi]

Always sucks waking up to find a human in my bed.

 

[BrosukeHanamura]

Bonk!

Came here to post this.

 

[Rentahamster]

A spider, or John Oliver's fingers?

 

[Novocaine]

I had a spider 8 cm in diameter (including legs) crawl across my face when I was in bed once. Was bullshit.

 

[Currygan]

 

[……forgetit]

You know what to do OP

 

[Clinton514]

"We take off. Nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure."

 

[Clockwork5]

I have a one and a half year old spider bite that still itches on occasion. Brown recluse bit me in my sleep and woke me right the fuck up.

Consider yourself lucky, op.

 

[uberluigi]

 

[Solid Samus]

I was falling to sleep once when I felt something move across my forehead. No big deal. I've got dreadlocks, shifting around just does that sometimes. Then I felt it move across my mouth. Jumped the fuck up, looked around my bed. Didn't see shit. Was about to hop back in when I looked down and saw the biggest fucking spider I've ever seen in my house just chilling on the side of my bed. I grabbed a shoe and went to smash the fucker. I could have sworn I hit him but when I lifted the shoe there wasn't a body or nothing. I never saw the bastard again.

 

[cr_blah_blah]

I was driving my truck the other day and when I put the driver's window down a spider was hanging there in the air by its web. It teetered back and forth from outside to inside as I kept glancing at it trying to drive while blowing it outside. It eventually fell between the door and my seat as I went OOOOOOH NO. I had to pull over to make sure it didn't land on my head or something but then I couldn't find it on me or anywhere. I know it's living somewhere inside. It could be anywhere.