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Where does slut-shaming end, and reasonable standards begin?

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I understand the problem of slut-shaming. People, almost always women, are criticized and judged for their appearance or their dress in ways that either demean and objectify them, or place some blame or burden on them to change. This is done for a variety of reasons and is almost always unfair to the person being judged.

That being said, I have come to wonder if there is a way to enforce reasonable dress standards while not also being guilty of slut-shaming. There must be some reasonable standards for dress so that people aren't needlessly distracted or disgusted by others' bodies in ways that might detract from their own comfort level or their productivity/ability to concentrate and get things done.

I was recently struck by this example from HuffPost.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry...vy-body_us_57d95cafe4b0fbd4b7bc8be6?section=&

The article focuses on a 4th grade teacher in a very tight dress who has been criticized for being unprofessional and inappropriate for school. The author takes the stance that this is ridiculous and unfair and that no one should have a problem with this woman's clothes. The argument seems to be that since this dress looks a lot different on skinnier white women, any criticism is based solely on the teacher's skin color and body type. I understand this line of reasoning, but I have a hard time believing the dress is meant to be that tight based on the pictures of these skinnier women. In this sense, the criticisms seem to be coming from a feeling that the dress is too small, rather than the teacher's body being too curvy.

The article also claims the dress should be fine because it fully covers the chest and thighs, but I feel like this ignores the fact that it accentuates many of her features because of how small it is.

Now I personally would be fine with this type of dress as a co-worker, but since her job involves teaching young kids, it seems reasonable to assume that many of her students would be distracted by her body. While her dress certainly does not define her quality as a teacher, I can't help but feel a parent or principal would have a decent argument to make that she should dress differently at work for the sake of her students.

I guess I just want to see people's opinions on this. Slut-shaming is wrong, unfair, and often sexist. But where do we draw the line? How do we enforce reasonable dress standards while still honoring a person's body type, culture, and personal sense of expression? How do you feel about this case in particular?
 
Dress looks fine to me.

Slut shaming is about ridiculing or shaming women for having a sexual appetite. There is no way to tell if someone is sexually active or not just by looking at their high waisted shorts.

Why is it a problem that she has a figure? Let's be honest: she has a lot there. I don't see why we should unnecessarily burden her with trying to find an article of clothing that hides her large breasts. In fact, finding something that hides them is probably impossible.
 
That dress doesn't seem appropriate or professional whatsoever.

If you hadn't mentioned the 4th Grade class setting, then I would have assumed she was getting ready for a night out or a party.

Slut shaming is about ridiculing or shaming women for having a sexual appetite. There is no way to tell if someone is sexually active or not just by looking at their huh waisted shorts.
Agreed.
 
People can wear whatever they want. So what if the teacher's curves are visible because of her outfit. I feel society should reach a point where this isn't 'distracting' to anyone. Hopefully this teaches her students not to be distracted by the shape of a woman's body.
 
Lets just throw her in a stylish poncho while we're at it, OP. God forbid the woman wear anything but a frumpy potato sack while instructing kids.
 
If a 4th grader was distracted by her body it would be a good teachable moment. No problem at all with the dress. She should wear a moomoo instead ?
 
That dress doesn't seem appropriate or professional whatsoever.

If you hadn't mentioned the 4th Grade class setting, then I would have assumed she was getting ready for a night out or a party.
She just had huge tits and a big ass.

There is nothing crazy about the dress.

I think the kids will be ok.
 
I don't see anything wrong with that dress. That being said, I have sent a psychology intern home before to change her clothes. She showed up to work (an elementary school) with a see-through white blouse with a black rhinestone-studded bra underneath. I don't really think that's slut shaming though so much as I didn't want to receive angry phone calls from administrators the whole day about her appearance. Basically, I was lazy so I sent her home to change clothes I guess.
 
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The issue here is about context imo. What might be fine in one situation may not be so fine in the next. I don't know, it's difficult to pinpoint. Ideally you should be able to wear what you want (outside of a professional environment), but one should be cautious about their surroundings (maybe wearing a bikini at 2am in a bad part of town isn't the best idea).
 
I don't see anything wrong with that dress. That being said, I have sent a psychology intern home before to change her clothes. She showed up to work (an elementary school) with a see-through white blouse with a black rhinestone-studded bra underneath. I don't really think that's slut shaming though so much as I didn't want to receive angry phone calls from administrators the whole day about her appearance. Basically, I was lazy so I sent her home to change clothes I guess.

No I'm pretty sure that was a good judgement call. Visible underclothing on a teacher, regardless of how "archaic" and "sexist" it might seem to say, is not appropriate.

I don't see such an issue with the way this teacher is dressed, but based on her social media presence and adoption of the #teacherbae thing seems that she was pushing the "I'm a sexy teacher" envelope. That might be the problem.
 
That dress is fine personally, but I think dress codes are important. When you work somewhere, how you look reflects on your place of work. If they don't want you dressing a certain way then unless it's like based in sexism or something (which it often unfortunately is) then you should listen to your employers.
 
Really? Fourth graders would be distracted?

If that's the case it's a good lesson to learn. You continue doing your "job" and taking a woman's authority seriously even if she's distracting you because of her looks.
 
In her case, I feel that anything that wasn't several sizes too big would show off her curves regardless of how much skin it showed whether it were intentional or unintentional.
 
Based on the other picture in that article it's not like she dresses like this every day anyway. Not that there is anything wrong with that dress, it just seems like a weird thing to pitch a fit over one outfit.
 
Women with voluptuous bodies will always be labeled as being too sexualized no matter what they wear, no matter the setting. For those who are against what she's wearing, I guarantee if you have her try any other outfit, she will still look the same. Unless you want her to wear something that doesn't fit and is so baggy, she has to create ways in order it to merely fit on her to uncomfortably wear.
 
Her kids haven't even hit puberty yet. They don't care at all.

And anyone who is distracted or disgusted by someone's body is being disgusting themselves.
 
From the text, I was expecting the dress to be more revealing than that. With a body like hers, she would have to go out of her way to dress in baggy clothes to hide her figure... I don't think that's a reasonable requirement.

Probably not appropriate for a teacher to show massive cleavage, but that's clearly not what's happening here
 
Her kids haven't even hit puberty yet. They don't care at all.

And anyone who is distracted or disgusted by someone's body is being disgusting themselves.

If anything it may be the parent's that have an issue, particularly the wives; especially if there's been a massive increase in father's deciding now it would be best to pick up their kids from school. LOL
 
I think the dress if fine.

That being said, if you're a professional you should dress as such when you're on the clock. If you're off the clock you should wear whatever you want. I know I do.
 
it doesnt sadly, people have these weird ass standards to clothing and then apply everything under the rainbow for it. same people call men wearing dresses as gay as they call this teacher being too sexy when its like the woman isnt even baring anything its just a little tight and she has a nice figure.
 
The only people that care are jealous Mom's or prudes. Dress is completely fine, what do people expect she wears a habit.

As always the definition of a slut is a women that does something to someone else you wished she did to you or gets attention from someone that you wished paid attention to you. Using it basically saying I am loser.
 
I think you have an interesting angle OP, but i gotta say that dress in the OP looks completely normal to me.

If the teacher was wearing something skimpy I think it'd be another story. Male or female.
 
I would think that having a dress like that would be more appropriate when teaching kids, not less. Their kids, they haven't hit puberty yet, so they most likely won't care.
 
I mean, it definitely doesn't stop at the "is this sexual enough" line, because you're still setting behavioral expectations, they just happen to be more or less lenient. Clothing standards as they concern the meaning of what's being worn cannot be thought of as reasonable, they are not a function of reason.
 
They're 9/10 years old. Boys are still a year or two off at least.

Nope. Boys even younger are into sex just not HAVING sex. I remember my first sexual crushes at like 7. By grade 4 plenty of kids were talking about sexual stuff(just not fully accurate) and looking up softcore stuff. People forget how young people start when it comes to sexual thoughts. It's not puberty.

But the dress is completely fine anyway. It's just insecure and whiny parents.
 
There is absolutely nothing wrong with that dress. If it were a skinny white woman wearing it nothing would have been said. The lady has a figure and she's not even showing it off, when you have an hourglass figure that's just how it is unless you're wearing a moomoo
 
People can wear whatever they want. So what if the teacher's curves are visible because of her outfit. I feel society should reach a point where this isn't 'distracting' to anyone. Hopefully this teaches her students not to be distracted by the shape of a woman's body.

This is pretty naive. There's nothing wrong with certain settings enforcing dress codes, and I don't think you can deny that certain attire can project a certain atmosphere (such as people dressed in suits at a business meeting). The real question is how to determine what's considered reasonable and appropriate given the situation, especially when they can vary and body types can vary even more

They're 9/10 years old. Boys are still a year or two off at least.

You must've been a late bloomer
 
A male teacher could wear slim fit pants and a slim shit and he would not get any criticism, or not nearly on the same level. That's the problem.
 
IMO everyone should just wear thick dresses and cloaks like a Golden Sun character because I clearly can't control myself and glance look at every pretty feature I see in public

golden-sun-4.jpg


this is /s if I need to say it
 
Really? Fourth graders would be distracted?

If that's the case it's a good lesson to learn. You continue doing your "job" and taking a woman's authority seriously even if she's distracting you because of her looks.

I remember a really cute substitute in fourth grade. Some of the boys were definitely distracted and one boy outright asked her if she was single and basically asking her out.

But I still don't think the teacher in question wore anything inappropriate or did anything wrong. It's true that this is about her body because very similar dresses on skinnier women suddenly become "okay". It's unfair.
 
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