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Why 30 Is Not the New 20 (TED talk)
- Thread starter ThLunarian
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CheDominik
Member
I agree. People should just do what makes them happy, not what other people expect them to do.
If you want to get married with children and drive an expensive car,go ahead. But if you don't then don't do it. It always suprises me how much pressure people put on themselves and do what is contary to their wishes for such an important decision.
John Kowalski
Banned
holy shit no one is talking about marrying, settling down, or not doing the things you life during your twenties, and no one is talking about having wasted your life if your twenties were wasted or what "other people expect of you"
goddamn
goddamn
POWERSPHERE
Member
This seems like a speech for 20 year olds, not adults.
Host Samurai
Member
Watched for 10 minutes and turned it off. Seems like it was aimed at confused females in their 20's.
I think that's what it means but they don't follow that. It's pop psychology for white people.
thesoapster
Member
I wasn't sure what to expect, but that talk is clearly geared towards women, and more specifically (IMO) ones that want to get married and have families. That, and stating the importance of networking (which is valid, but not news to me).
AbortedWalrusFetus
Member
The problem with this video is the initial premise. Your 20s are not a wasted time and your 30s aren't the time you need to put things in high gear. 30 is the new 20 because it takes an additional ten years of development to get to the spot you used to be in in your 20s. I realize that's sort of what she's saying, I just can't figure out why she ever had the view that your 20s "don't matter". I don't know anyone who ever had that mindset.
Maninthemirror
Banned
Social networks like facebook have in my opinion dumbed down people in their 20s to act like teens and teens who are leaving facebook are acting more like adults. It might be due to the fact that teens want to act mature and aging people in their 20s cant forget their teen days and want to act as young as possible. This is why 30s is the best age. You realize your teen days are gone and you start living again
John Kowalski
Banned
I suspect her clients were the ones to give her that view.
He's 21 so I imagine his friends are all 21 as well. He mentions them getting married when the TED speaker didn't say anything about getting married young. She said don't just have throwaway relationships with losers in your 20s because relationships in your 20s are practice for marriage in your 30s.
GungHo
Single-handedly caused Exxon-Mobil to sue FOX, start World War 3
Don't worry... Candy Crush is here to infantilize the oldest of souls.
No idea what to think about this. I'm 25 with a plan who is unemployed following graduating from college with a degree focused towards health care. Part of my plan/life is on hold because I can't find a job due to over-saturation/people with experience always get picked over new graduates.
HalfBakedProphet
Member
Figuring out crap you don't need is as important as figuring out what you do. You can live a really good life these days on relatively little if you don't get obsessed with status symbols and buy too heavily into the consumer culture treadmill. Being 'rich' wouldn't really change my lifestyle much, except I'd probably like to travel more. The important thing is to get to a point where money isn't a worry.
Major Williams
Member
I just turned 30 Saturday. My wife is expecting our first baby boy next week. Live in a half million home, am a hospital executive. I would agree your twenties are where you need to invest the effort to really learn, be excellent, so that once you have the years of experience, you have what you wanted.
Hero_of_the_Day
Member
Don't procrastinate when it comes to your career. Don't waste time dating losers.
Deep thoughts.
Deep thoughts.
jts
...hate me...
JinjoUnchained
Member
Meh. The general idea is sound: we keep developing in our adult lives, so don't stop developing just because you're done with school. She didn't mention school explicitly, but I think that's a fair correlation to make because "in your 20s" translates to "done with school, but not in high gear career/family mode" for the audience she's trying to reach.
Then she ruins it by framing the debate with arbitrary ages. The argument is basically: "society says that you should do X things by Y age, but in reality you should do X things by Z age". So why not complete that train of thought and tell the twentysomething audience not to bother learning new languages because they missed that boat when they were 7? Or don't learn music if you weren't born with perfect pitch? Certain ages may be a developmental sweet spot ON AVERAGE, but people are individuals, not statistics. Most people can be active learners at any age with a commitment to education and the right attitude.
I find her flippant attitude particularly disturbing when she said "People who are over 40, don't panic. This crowd is going to be fine, I think." I'm not yet in my mid-30s or whatever arbitrary cut-off she has, but I have known many wonderful adults that have fundamentally changed their attitudes and improved their education beginning in their 40s. It may be more difficult ON AVERAGE, but it's still easily achievable with the right attitude and dedication. If it is more difficult, that's all the more reason to celebrate and encourage people with a lifetime commitment to education. As opposed to pandering to twentysomethings with "hahah, old people, right?, LOLZ"
Then she ruins it by framing the debate with arbitrary ages. The argument is basically: "society says that you should do X things by Y age, but in reality you should do X things by Z age". So why not complete that train of thought and tell the twentysomething audience not to bother learning new languages because they missed that boat when they were 7? Or don't learn music if you weren't born with perfect pitch? Certain ages may be a developmental sweet spot ON AVERAGE, but people are individuals, not statistics. Most people can be active learners at any age with a commitment to education and the right attitude.
I find her flippant attitude particularly disturbing when she said "People who are over 40, don't panic. This crowd is going to be fine, I think." I'm not yet in my mid-30s or whatever arbitrary cut-off she has, but I have known many wonderful adults that have fundamentally changed their attitudes and improved their education beginning in their 40s. It may be more difficult ON AVERAGE, but it's still easily achievable with the right attitude and dedication. If it is more difficult, that's all the more reason to celebrate and encourage people with a lifetime commitment to education. As opposed to pandering to twentysomethings with "hahah, old people, right?, LOLZ"
RoadHazard
Gold Member
I'm 29 and definitely not where I eventually want to be in my life yet. But the thing is that I'm in no rush to get there. Sure, I would like to get a stable job in my field, which I'm currently looking for (just finished university recently), but other than that I'm still very happy with being in the part of my life that takes place before all the big stuff (family, house, etc). I like it here. I don't want to be here forever, but I'm also in no rush.
Still not gonna watch the video though, I think. From the description in the OP it sounds like it's made to make people like me feel bad, like time is running out and it's soon gonna be too late. Don't really need that.
EDIT: Ok, reading some comments here it doesn't really sound like that's what the video's about after all. But yeah, even though I've not really accomplished anything of real value yet I don't feel like I've wasted my 20s. I've spent them getting my education (including switching tracks at one point, which is why I'm perhaps getting out onto the job market a few years later than average), and now I'm looking forward to taking advantage of that education in my 30s. And hopefully getting started on some of that other stuff too.
Still not gonna watch the video though, I think. From the description in the OP it sounds like it's made to make people like me feel bad, like time is running out and it's soon gonna be too late. Don't really need that.
EDIT: Ok, reading some comments here it doesn't really sound like that's what the video's about after all. But yeah, even though I've not really accomplished anything of real value yet I don't feel like I've wasted my 20s. I've spent them getting my education (including switching tracks at one point, which is why I'm perhaps getting out onto the job market a few years later than average), and now I'm looking forward to taking advantage of that education in my 30s. And hopefully getting started on some of that other stuff too.
There are some things in the video that could make a 30-something (I'm there) feel bad, but it could be particularly cruel to women in that age. She has a line about relationships and children that could be too cold fact.
Actually, the talk seems a bit more tailored for females.
Actually, the talk seems a bit more tailored for females.
HappyBivouac
Member
Thanks for the summary. Now I can know that it's dumb without watching it.
Is she saying that you shouldn't do all of the following by age 30?:
1. Not get an education
2. Not grow a career
3. Not "pick a city"
4. Start seriously dating, or at least date a bit to gain social experience so you can seriously date
If you have life ambitions? Well, sure. If that's what you want to do and you don't do it, that's not ideal. There are case by case specifics to tackle such life goals, but saying "YOU SHOULDN'T DO THAT" isn't exactly helpful.
I'm not sure what her message is.
1. Not get an education
2. Not grow a career
3. Not "pick a city"
4. Start seriously dating, or at least date a bit to gain social experience so you can seriously date
If you have life ambitions? Well, sure. If that's what you want to do and you don't do it, that's not ideal. There are case by case specifics to tackle such life goals, but saying "YOU SHOULDN'T DO THAT" isn't exactly helpful.
I'm not sure what her message is.
Your life is ruined. You shouldn't have done that.
blitzcloud
Banned
30 may not be the new 20. I don't have many plans as to what to do with my emotional life, and probably I got too loose on my education, meaning i'm gonna end a degree with 28 or 29 years old. (currently 27).
Kids are something I would probably love having, but i'm terrified at the thought of it. I guess having a stable relationship eases that up, a bit.
Kids are something I would probably love having, but i'm terrified at the thought of it. I guess having a stable relationship eases that up, a bit.
BocoDragon
or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Realize This Assgrab is Delicious
The more I think about this, this is a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation.
What should you be doing in your 20s... getting a job? Career-chasing? Marriage-seeking?
Or should you be travelling the world, finding yourself, having lots of diverse experiences outside of careerhood?
I guarantee you each one is rewarding, and yet each one could bring regret in later years. The career-seeker wishes he travelled. The traveller wishes he started a career. The person in the marriage wonders who else is out there and what could have been. The relationship-dabbler wishes they had a family by then... etc.
What should you be doing in your 20s... getting a job? Career-chasing? Marriage-seeking?
Or should you be travelling the world, finding yourself, having lots of diverse experiences outside of careerhood?
I guarantee you each one is rewarding, and yet each one could bring regret in later years. The career-seeker wishes he travelled. The traveller wishes he started a career. The person in the marriage wonders who else is out there and what could have been. The relationship-dabbler wishes they had a family by then... etc.
So now that my life is over because I didn't find the love of my life and a couple careers haven't worked for various reasons, I should do... what? Just resign myself to be a minimum wage slave for the rest of my life?
That's what is irritating to me about his sort of stuff. It's all nice information and what not, but so fucking what? What am I supposed to do with that information? Congratulate smug fuckers like the presenter?
That's what is irritating to me about his sort of stuff. It's all nice information and what not, but so fucking what? What am I supposed to do with that information? Congratulate smug fuckers like the presenter?
Yes. Know your betters. j/k
Nice talk and all but really, it completely ignores the single greatest financial fuck-up since the Great Depression. Even the most successful ones among us will spend their lives "catching up" going by her standards.
Seriously, I don't understand the purpose of this presentation. Most people that watch TED are likely 25+.
It adds no knowledge, truth, or useful advice. It's just "fuck you, I did it riggggghhhhhhhhhtttt [country slur]".
I'm happy with where I am. Career, investments, and dating has been good. I wish I found the one and had kids, but 3/4 isn't bad. I know people that rushed to marriage and are now anchored in divorce to their kids in the middle of nowhere. So if her message is to get married and preggars fast, this is terrible advice.
It doesn't matter as long as you do something. Just don't waste your life (at any age).
Never is, never was. The current "youth" generation is caught in traineeships and having minijobs. If the current market would carter more to employees and less to employers we wouldn't face the problems of today. But we know who has the power.
More Fun To Compute
Member
It's a dog eat rat race world and we all need to shape up if we want to be winners.
haven't watched the video but wanted to pass on this story.
I know an ophthalmologist that makes triple figures. And he isn't happy at all with where his life is. He said if he could it all over again, he'd have become a park ranger and live off of that 30k/year.
Do what makes you happy. Like right now I'm an RN doing home health work. I could be making more in a hospital but I've tried that once and got burned out quick from all the inner politics and bickering. I'm making less now but the job is more enjoyable. Also, it leaves me with a lot of time do other things.
I know an ophthalmologist that makes triple figures. And he isn't happy at all with where his life is. He said if he could it all over again, he'd have become a park ranger and live off of that 30k/year.
Do what makes you happy. Like right now I'm an RN doing home health work. I could be making more in a hospital but I've tried that once and got burned out quick from all the inner politics and bickering. I'm making less now but the job is more enjoyable. Also, it leaves me with a lot of time do other things.
Or we have to figure out that the dog and the rat are both actually humans and we have to figure out why we are exactly fighting each other.
This talk has some cogent points but it is too social status-minded. She even mentions seeing your friends on FB getting married etc... My eyes rolled out of my head.
Granted most people "ahead" of me didn't work as hard for it, but that's not an excuse. I just don't want everything they want.
Granted most people "ahead" of me didn't work as hard for it, but that's not an excuse. I just don't want everything they want.
Let's not go crazy...
Ugh... If I could barf from the ears, it would be all over my desk right now. What happened to TED talks? The first ones were really forward thinking stuff. Now they call "controversial" fluff pieces that sound like an article in Cosmopolitan or People magazine. Wow. What's controversial about "get a career, marry and have kids with a decent person before you're 30"? That's the message behind the majority of mainstream American TV shows and movies.
Even though I don't like the careerist and "identity capital" terminology, and the traditional mold (in both senses of the term!) that she advocates as the only definition of adult life, I can't disagree with the other part of her message: don't settle until you're really satisfied, stay open to change, try out big things (move to another country, career change, etc.) as soon as you can. Once you start to set in place, it gets harder to do those things. Yet, something like the book "Who Moved my Cheese" makes that point much better.
The following really sums up my thoughts on the subject:
Even though I don't like the careerist and "identity capital" terminology, and the traditional mold (in both senses of the term!) that she advocates as the only definition of adult life, I can't disagree with the other part of her message: don't settle until you're really satisfied, stay open to change, try out big things (move to another country, career change, etc.) as soon as you can. Once you start to set in place, it gets harder to do those things. Yet, something like the book "Who Moved my Cheese" makes that point much better.
The following really sums up my thoughts on the subject:
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