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[Octavia]

Honestly, I just can't stand people and cities sound awful. If you're an extrovert and crave people, I could see how you would like it. The constant noise and pollution, people packed in like sardines, the lack of nature, it's not my thing. Suburbs also aren't fantastic.

I'd rather be in a rural area, by nature and quietness. Your personal space extends beyond the abode, to the nature around you. It's your land, do whatever you want with it. There's more to do for someone like me and it feels way more liberating.

The dream of being in a box just never suit my needs.

 

[Deleted member 752119]

Just different strokes for different folks. I'm a city person through and through after growing up in a rural area and then spending 7 years in suburbs during grad school.

I vastly prefer city living for a variety of reasons like not having ot drive as much/far (wish I lived somewhere with better transit so I could skip owning a car), having great local food and bar options all nearby, art and entertainment (pro sports, concerts, plays etc.) nearby and love living in areas that aren't single family homes with tons of kids around as neither my fiance and I are having kids nor like being around them.

 

[siddx]

I've always found suburbs to be stale and lifeless. Just a wasteland with no culture, filled with identical homes and no personality. But I get why someone with a family would want the space and safety of living in a suburb. And I'm sure there are some suburbs out there that break the stereotype.

Cities are exciting and vibrant but are also expensive and not really suited for family life. They can also be overwhelming with the noise and smell and crush of humanity.

I also lived in the boonies for a while since our family home is in the middle of the woods. It's beautiful and relaxing and peaceful... and without a car would be pure hell.

My current situation probably works best, live most of the time in the city, spend summers in a rural area.

 

[SomTervo]

People get progressively more irritating the more of them there are. I'd take having a few neighbors I actually like over having to be around and hear a bunch of strangers around my house.

I don't find that. I edited my post a bit too explain my experience of people in cities.

I think you're really exaggerating the whole "Cookie cutter nightmare" thing. Or you had a bad experience. Either way, there are suburbs that aren't generic hellholes.

That's fair enough. I've spent time in about 6 or 7 suburbs and they were all the same. Serially "pleasant" rather than places i found enjoyable in any way to be in. I always felt detached from humanity and found the environment creatively stifling.

Yeah...living in the "cookie cutter nightmare" of the suburbs must be hell

Yes, and that "dense urban crush" must be hell too

My point is that each block has shops, idiosyncrasies, people, etc. There's a more dense concentration of human "stuff".

And even in the pic you shared there's visual variation in the actual building designs, even if it's just colour.

I guess the takeaway is this is too complex for labels or sides

Like with everything

 

[VistraNorrez]

As a suburbanite and homeowner, I think a front yard and back yard are way overrated. I fucking hate mowing the lawn. Also shoveling the driveway and walkways in the winter blows.

And as my wife and I don't have children, half of our rooms aren't even used. Plus keep a house clean sucks. And there is alwaya something that has to be fixed.

Being a homeowner isn't so great.

 

[kazinova]

Not sure if that reply was for me but I literally start feeling anxiety. Everything seems so fake, so samey, so perfect. Everyone squirreled away in their private hell. I just couldn't.

Channel that angsty teen! Squirreled away in their private hell... man, you must be a blast at parties.

 

[13ruce]

Honestly i like both and like them evenly.
The city is exciting social wise and shopping/entertainment wise and the suburbs are nice looking and quiet + nature sights are cool and if you life there you know most if not nearly all people too.

I live in a suburb but i honestly don't know yet if i wanna live in a city or suburb when i am older for sure. I am leaning towards City now because even while i am in between introvert and extravert + ADHD i kinda lean towards the city.

 

[ERotIC]

The suburbs just feel like a waste of land and resources. Americans are spoiled with all the space they require to be content- even the majority of our cities are relatively spacious compared to pretty much any Asian city.

 

[SomTervo]

Honestly, I just can't stand people and cities sound awful. If you're an extrovert and crave people, I could see how you would like it. The constant noise and pollution, people packed in like sardines, the lack of nature, it's not my thing. Suburbs also aren't fantastic.

I'd rather be in a rural area, by nature and quietness. Your personal space extends beyond the abode, to the nature around you. It's your land, do whatever you want with it. There's more to do for someone like me and it feels way more liberating.

The dream of being in a box just never suit my needs.

Pretty much everyone i know is an "introvert" (including me) and think the city is great. Spend time in parks, meet friends wherever you like, you still have your own personal space. The "sardine tin" only becomes a problem in a serious metropolis. Like the subway at rush hour in London or Paris - fuck that. Plenty cities aren't life that. Maybe even most of them.

Fully agree countryside is a better option than a suburb.

 

[KingV]

At least in the US this doesn't seem to translate into perceived feeling of safety.
Going by some of the ridiculous spending on alarm systems, locks, guns etc.

And again, depends on the city and country. Also type of crime. You don't seee many people breaking into specific condo apartments.

Petty crime in suburbs can kind of suck. Kids fucking things up, garage burglaries, breaking into unlocked cars, that sort of thing. In a city you are more likely to get mugged but breaking into your apartment and stealing your shit is actually kind of hard to do.

Edit: that said City vs suburb is largely a lifestsge thing imo. I loved cities in my 20s, but not sure I could stomach it anymore in my 30s. Once you have kids it becomes a hard choice to move into a city, or even to move into the suburbs of a very large city from a smaller city. Commutes start to suck, you start to think about having to possibly pay for private schools, and housing gets very pricey very quickly. For instance, I could pretty easily get about 30k raise doing exactly what I do today in a bigger city... but it wouldn't even barely make a dent in the difference in price of the standard of living.

 

[Chozoman]

I guess the takeaway is this is too complex for labels or sides Like with everything

Now that's the truth!

Peace

 

[SomTervo]

I was just thinking the same thing. These "cookie cutter" comments seem silly.

The point is hard to explain, but i mean cookie cutter on a block-by-block basis. I've been in multiple suburbs where 5 blocks in a row literally look identical and i don't know where i am. The often looping roads can leave me spatially baffled. Have to memorise cul de sacs.

In a city, even if architecture is the same, every block will have a plethora of unique shops, people, graffiti, construction work, etc etc. If i walk somewhere i literally never get lost, even in a city I've never been in. And usually you only go a block or two before there's a park or an idiosyncratic building or something - unlike suburbs where the whole estate can be the same end to end. At least, the healthy handful I've been to were all like that.

By not cookie cutter they mean low income.

What?

 

[C.Mongler]

What suburbs are you guys living in where you need to drive 10 minutes to get basic essentials? I live in the suburbs and there are like four places I could get the basic essentials within a five minute drive. And like four grocery stores within a 10 minute drive.

Manassas. I've driven in some shittily planned, traffic infested suburban wastelands before, but I'll be damned if Manassas isn't one of the worst. I don't think I've ever been able to drive the posted speed limit on 234 or 28 just due to the sheer car volume. I moved away from the area long ago and live in DC proper now, and I'd much rather sit in rush hour traffic here than drive on an average day in Manasshole.

 

[Fuchsdh]

We just stayed in a suburb in Spain for a week for a holiday. Longest period I've ever spent in a suburb in my life.

It was fucking. Grim.

Having lived in big cities my whole life, I think it boils down to having no sense of culture or community - no 'human connection' in your immediate vicinity.

• yes, there's a "community", but it's in a nominal, arms-length way, where everyone's walled apart and they can see each other more easily than they can talk to each other or meaningfully interact.
• there are no shops or services within immediate walking distance, so you don't get lots of people walking back and forth
• there are no 'watering holes' at frequent intervals - no bars, maybe a rare kids' playpark - meaning there's no place to go and sit when you just want to interact with people
• you don't have signs and art and creativity everywhere - not even in the architecture. There's no sense of humanity in the environment. Front lawns don't count imo - they don't feel like a shared endeavour

It's a horrible culture that emphasises living in a bubble and seeing your neighbours/community as the 'other'.

I don't get this because I knew everyone around me growing up, whereas no one knows who the hell I am in my apartment building. And when people are blasting music on the street at 3am, you're damn right I'd prefer more space away from my fellow man.

Wow...it's almost as if different people from different backgrounds have varying preferences regarding where they enjoy living.

Must every-fucking-thing be a source of division?

But I want to feel superior to other people! Those people who made different choices than me have given up on life!

Manassas. I've driven in some shittily planned, traffic infested suburban wastelands before, but I'll be damned if Manassas isn't one of the worst. I don't think I've ever been able to drive the posted speed limit on 234 or 28 just due to the sheer car volume. I moved away from the area long ago and live in DC proper now, and I'd much rather sit in rush hour traffic here than drive on an average day in Manasshole.

Even then if you lived near Manassas' (small) downtown that wouldn't be an issue. (though you'd still have to contend with traffic trying to get anywhere else.)

In this thread it's like everyone listened to "Rocking the Suburbs" by Ben Folds and decided that must be what life is like for every other person in every part of the world.

 

[Raptomex]

Yes, and that "dense urban crush" must be hell too

I guess the takeaway is this is too complex for labels or sides

Like with everything

The first thing that comes to mind when I see that picture; "where the fuck am I going to park?". Although if I saw a road/street like that, I would avoid driving down it. Maybe it's just a result of suburban living.

 

[PuppetSlave]

Well I am guessing most people simply live where the work is. Getting to choose is an privilege for most people.

After that it is an matter of budget/living area/commute compromises depending on what you personally value.

There is no objectively best choice.

 

[SomTervo]

The first thing that comes to mind when I see that picture; "where the fuck am I going to park?". Although if I saw a road/street like that, I would avoid driving down it. Maybe it's just a result of suburban living.

Funnily enough parking is never an issue in that city (where i live) until you're in the small, dense city "center". Just around the bend will always be a space.

But yeah in some cities parking is heinous and you're best dropping the car, renting one when you need it.

 

[Deleted member 752119]

Pretty much everyone i know is an "introvert" and the city is great. Spend time in parks, meet friends wherever you like, you still have your own personal space. The "sardine tin" only becomes a problem in a serious metropolis. Like the subway at rush hour in London or Paris - fuck that. Plenty cities aren't life that. Maybe even most of them.

Fully agree countryside is a better option than a suburb.

Agree 100%. Introvert doesn't mean loner that wants to be a hermit. It means someone that gets exhausted interacting with people and needs alone time to recharge. We love city life as introverts as people are in their own bubbles and mostly don't give a shit about talking to strangers or even their neighbors. Versus small town or suburban living where people tend to be more chatty, neighbors more nosy/friendly etc. Just not our cup of tea.

Also agree that the sardine problem is really only an issue in the biggest/most dense of cities.

As a suburbanite and homeowner, I think a front yard and back yard are way overrated. I fucking hate mowing the lawn. Also shoveling the driveway and walkways in the winter blows.

And as my wife and I don't have children, half of our rooms aren't even used. Plus keep a house clean sucks. And there is alwaya something that has to be fixed.

Being a homeowner isn't so great.

Also agree. Thankfully we just rent a small house in the city since my fiance has big dogs that are old and need to go out a ton, so it wasn't conducive to the condo living I was doing before. We both want to downsize again and get back to condo/apt living after they pass.

Yard work is the worst, plus mosquitos etc. are terrible here so it's hard to even enjoy using the yard. We're not having kids either so city living will always be best for us and a house is just wasteful as we don't really need the space, don't need a yard (or use the one we have other than as the dog's bathroom) etc.

 

[SomTervo]

I don't get this because I knew everyone around me growing up, whereas no one knows who the hell I am in my apartment building. And when people are blasting music on the street at 3am, you're damn right I'd prefer more space away from my fellow man.

Most of my friends who lived in suburbs knew none, or barely any, of their neighbours. (Spent days and days at their houses when we were kids.) I was in an inner city tenement block and knew all the kids on my street - we played every day and our families spent time together.

The point - it's anecdotal. My experience is opposite to yours and both are valid.

Music blasting on the street literally never happens. If it did, the police would be called and it would promptly stop. Occasionally parties will play music at 3am. If it's really disruptive or too loud, the police will be called and it will promptly stop.

Cities arent uncaring dystopian social landscapes.

 

[br3wnor]

Hahaha this is the only thing wife and I are not fond of living in suburbia. We're not the most social animals and our one neighbor is pretty chatty so I'll occasionally get stuck in a conversation web with him but other than that I love it. I'm in a Long Island (NY) suburb which is quite a bit more dense than typical suburbia. Most of my shopping needs are a 5 minute drive from my house so that's not really an issue. We have the beach w/in walking distance and live in a very quiet part of town. I grew up in a more rural area of upstate New York and miss it sometimes but overall I'm happy w/ the type of suburbia I live in. If I ever need/want to go to NYC it's an hour train ride away as well which is convenient.

 

[NewFresh]

We moved out into the suburbs a few years ago (Starting a family). We are only a 10 min drive from the city and fortunately can walk to a grocery store and a few restaurants.

Unfortunately, there is zero public transportation so really driving is the only way to get around anywhere else.

Have to say, I hate the "suburbs" but there are some happy mediums in our area. Nice variety of homes with interesting design, close to the city, affordable, and still have plenty of privacy.

As a suburbanite and homeowner, I think a front yard and back yard are way overrated. I fucking hate mowing the lawn. Also shoveling the driveway and walkways in the winter blows.

And as my wife and I don't have children, half of our rooms aren't even used. Plus keep a house clean sucks. And there is alwaya something that has to be fixed.

Being a homeowner isn't so great.

I would agree that there are times it's annoying, but I love having my own house, yard, and land. Make as much noise as I want, build things, play out in our yard.

 

[Schnozberry]

I live a few miles outside of Austin. To the Southwest, if anyone cares.

My kid goes to a good school. I'm 30 minutes or less from anywhere I want to be, including my job. My neighbors are friendly and look after each other. We don't have to deal with nearly as much property crime as people that live just a few minutes away. I have enough room that I can cook outdoors, have family stay with me, and work on my car without feeling like I'm inconveniencing other people. It's ideal for me.

I could see how it would be less than ideal for young single people who are primarily concerned with nightlife and being able to use public transit, but it's certainly not hell by any stretch of the imagination.

 

[Fuchsdh]

Most of my friends who lived in suburbs knew none, or barely any, of their neighbours. (Spent days and days at their houses when we were kids.) I was in an inner city tenement block and knew all the kids on my street - we played every day and our families spent time together.

The point - it's anecdotal.

Music blasting on the street literally never happens. If it did, the police would be called and it would promptly stop. Occasionally parties will play music at 3am. If it's really disruptive or too loud, the police will be called and it will promptly stop.

So congrats, you have anecdotes too. As I'm not the one calling suburbs satan's hellspawn or making shitty generalizations about places, I don't see where your viewpoint has any greater validity.

I'd love to hear more from people who can't afford to live in the nicer parts of cities.

 

[otake]

The "city" can be a real fun place to visit. It can also be difficult to live in.

When I was in my early 20's city living was very appealing. I valued being close to everything both fun and work related. However, rent was a major concern for me. At the time, I was not thinking about kids and I didn't have a lot of possessions. My concern was money. If I rented slightly farther out from the city I could save a lot more money than if I lived in the city. So that's what I did. While I found the conveniences of living in the city very compelling, I valued my ability to save money way more.

And save money I did. Now I'm married and I have an infant child. Now I value good schools, low crime, cleanliness and quiet and I saved up enough money to buy a house in the suburbs with 30% down.

It's all about priorities and goals. I like the suburbs at this point in my life. I can always visit the city.

 

[Deleted member 752119]

I'd love to hear more from people who can't afford to live in the nicer parts of cities.

To be fair, the suburbs are typically expensive as well. People in this thread aren't/weren't deciding between living in the suburbs or the ghetto. More between a big house in the suburbs or a condo/apt in a decent part of the city--for probably around the same cost.

As many noted, it's largely a lifestyle thing. Most can't afford a house/yard in the city (for cities that have neighborhoods with single family homes) or a condo big enough once they want to have 2-3 kids. Others just don't like cities or condo living etc. But it's probably not a choice between a shitty area of the city or the suburbs for people on this site as that's more of a lower class decision between living in a poor area so the city or moving to a far suburb.

That said, we don't live in the greatest area currently. We moved this past year to get closer into the nicer part of the city after getting raises, so there's a lot of crime nearby--but not in our little neighborhood. The PD posts crime maps so we used those to find a safe pocket. There's not a lot to do right next to us, but a lot of good restaurants and bars in 2-3 miles that we often walk or bike to. Just have to avoid some areas between those and us in terms of not walking back at night etc. Once the dogs are gone will get back to living in midtown (our favorite part of the city and where I lived before getting with her).

 

[SomTervo]

So congrats, you have anecdotes too.

... That's the point. Edited my post just to make it extra clear for you.

As I'm not the one calling suburbs satan's hellspawn or making shitty generalizations about places, I don't see where your viewpoint has any greater validity.

Did you miss this part of my post on this very page?

I guess the takeaway is this is too complex for labels or sides

Like with everything

ITT I'm expanding on what I personally find really, really unpleasant about the suburbs I've been in and trying to explain what makes the cities I've been in great. Not every city, and indeed not every suburb.

I'd love to hear more from people who can't afford to live in the nicer parts of cities.

I would, too.

I've spent a good bit of time in the less nice parts of cities. My school's cachment area wasn't geographically specific - so two of my oldest friends came from across town in a couple of the poorest 'ghettos' in the country. I used to go to their houses regularly. These parts of the world aren't really anything to do with the city/suburb/country dichotomy - they will always exist somewhere (with the world as it is now).

 

[teh_pwn]

The point is hard to explain, but i mean cookie cutter on a block-by-block basis. I've been in multiple suburbs where 5 blocks in a row literally look identical and i don't know where i am. The often looping roads can leave me spatially baffled. Have to memorise cul de sacs.

In a city, even if architecture is the same, every block will have a plethora of unique shops, people, graffiti, construction work, etc etc. If i walk somewhere i literally never get lost, even in a city I've never been in. And usually you only go a block or two before there's a park or an idiosyncratic building or something - unlike suburbs where the whole estate can be the same end to end. At least, the healthy handful I've been to were all like that.



What?

Mass produced suburban neighborhoods and city apartments are built by large builders. Custom built mansions and high end town homes also exist. Cookie cutter really doesn't make sense as an argument. I suspect this is some position where people glamorize high end city culture, but this is something only for the wealthy.

 

[SoRuffShoNuff]

I don't find that. I edited by post a bit too explain my experience of people in cities.



That's fair enough. I've spent time in about 6 or 7 suburbs and they were all the same. Serially "pleasant" rather than places i found enjoyable in any way to be in. I always felt detached from humanity and found the environment creatively stifling.



Yes, and that "dense urban crush" must be hell too

My point is that each block has shops, idiosyncrasies, people, etc. There's a more dense concentration of human "stuff".

And even in the pic you shared there's visual variation in the actual building designs, even if it's just colour.

I guess the takeaway is this is too complex for labels or sides

Like with everything

I don't understand the complaint of suburbs having cookie cutter homes when you posted a pic of a street of townhouses which look exactly the same. Even in older cities, when you get near the center its all identical overpriced 1930s bungalows just with a different coat of paint or high rises. I live in a townhouse now in the city where the hoa dictated that adjoining homes had to have different color brick and even then at night it's hard to tell them apart if you arent a resident here. Our neighborhood is pretty cool with a mix of town homes, single detached homes, lots of community activities, shared park space, a pool, etc... but there is a very obvious social dynamic at play here. There are very few, and I mean in the single digits, families with kids older than around 7. And to put that into perspective I'd say there are at least 150 townhomes and just as many if not more single family detached homes here. It's something me and my wife noticed at the Halloween block party. It's because as cool as this area is, the quality of schools and space trump coolness all day when it comes to raising a family. There is a constant stream of new money college grads moving in but when it's time for kids to head to school they are GONE. Being able to walk to a bar means nothing when your home is in a district with F rated schools.

 

[teh_pwn]

So congrats, you have anecdotes too. As I'm not the one calling suburbs satan's hellspawn or making shitty generalizations about places, I don't see where your viewpoint has any greater validity.

I'd love to hear more from people who can't afford to live in the nicer parts of cities.

Depends on the city.

Austin is in the late stages of gentrification. The school district is allowing kids outside of the city to go to Austin schools because so many families have been pushed out.

 

[thechristoph]

I like my suburban life. It's just me and my wife, but we need a little room to sprawl. A one-bedroom apartment in the city just wouldn't do it for us. We have hobbies that require a little bit of space - collections, painting, that sort of stuff.

We feel like we have privacy without being way out in the boonies. I've been conditioned to see an hour drive as not a big deal (this does suck) and I never feel claustrophobic or like I need to tiptoe around in my own home as I did when I lived in a city apartment.

I was born boring and old, so that's probably part of it. Mark me down in the "I can't conceive of anyone enjoying living within the urban crush" column.

 

[ElNino]

Get best of both worlds: live in a good progressive suburb or small city that's located just outside the major city you want to have easy access to.

This. I've lived downtown Toronto and in the city out of downtown, but now I'm in the suburbs and wouldn't move back.

My office is still downtown so I commute in a few days a week, but it's actually quicker for me to commute in on the train than it was to drive/subway when I was in the city. I also don't get the complaint about how far anything is away, I can get to any location on this side of the city quicker than I could drive to anything in the city.

Not to mention when I go golfing, snowboarding or almost any other activity I'm a short drive away in the suburbs.

 

[Skiptastic]

It's weird seeing people describe some of these MEGACITY ONE never ending monoliths of housing as "suburbs."

Come out to KC. I'll show you wonderful suburbs with great, affordable housing with amazing public schools, zero crime, and access to everything the country and a city has to offer within 20 minutes in any direction.

As for me, I love the city too and would live there if I was younger. But I'm married and have kids and love to garden, BBQ, need good schools and a safe neighborhood. I basically live in a fucking mansion compared to what I would pay in the city. So nice in fact that I've priced myself out of a lot of jobs because moving anywhere -- even with a massive raise -- would mean a gigantic loss or giving up one of the non-negotiables above.

Replace KC with Indianapolis and you've basically explained my exact scenario.

 

[Raptomex]

So congrats, you have anecdotes too. As I'm not the one calling suburbs satan's hellspawn or making shitty generalizations about places, I don't see where your viewpoint has any greater validity.

I'd love to hear more from people who can't afford to live in the nicer parts of cities.

Even if you could live in the nicer parts of cities I don't think they beat out a nice large home with a lot of land, peace and tranquility.

This is just based on my experiences. I used to live close to NYC and am now close to Philly. I visit both frequently because I just love visiting cities (and the food in both is phenomenal) but I also don't like to be a slave to public transportation and their schedules. Yeah, I could walk but maybe it's too far. Sure, you may have to drive more when in suburbia but parking is usually free and never a problem. Plus the increased traffic, people everywhere, long lines in stores, and I find that I have to wait for a table more often when going out to eat in a city but that does depend on where you go.

Much of my complaints do depend on the actual city and areas. Even if I was a social person and craved interaction, that alone wouldn't be enough for me to justify living in a city. To each their own.

 

[Lombax]

OP, turns out its REALLY expensive to live in a city. When we were shopping around for a new house in the metro-Boston area a 'condo' [this is just 1/2 of a 2 family] were starting at 585k, and after the bidding war they would go for around 650k.
My wife and I have a rule that we will not take on a mortgage we can not afford on a single salary so we ended up in the country.
We ended up with nice house, barn, 9 acres of land abutted by 30+ acres of conservation land, gigabit internet, an active community and awesome public schools for our daughter for 413k.

IMHO the suburbs do suck sometimes [I miss the city], but the quality of life out here is awesome.

 

[Deleted member 752119]

I don't understand the complaint of suburbs having cookie cutter homes when you posted a pic of a street of townhouses which look exactly the same. Even in older cities, when you get near the center its all identical overpriced 1930s bungalows just with a different coat of paint or high rises. I live in a townhouse now in the city where the hoa dictated that adjoining homes had to have different color brick and even then at night it's hard to tell them apart if you arent a resident here. Our neighborhood is pretty cool with a mix of town homes, single detached homes, lots of community activities, shared park space, a pool, etc... but there is a very obvious social dynamic at play here. There are very few, and I mean in the single digits, families with kids older than around 7. And to put that into perspective I'd say there are at least 150 townhomes and just as many if not more single family detached homes here. It's something me and my wife noticed at the Halloween block party. It's because as cool as this area is, the quality of schools and space trump coolness all day when it comes to raising a family. There is a constant stream of new money college grads moving in but when it's time for kids to head to school they are GONE. Being able to walk to a bar means nothing when your home is in a district with F rated schools.

This stuff of course varies by area. But in my experience is the big difference is there's a ton of block to block variation in cities. You'll have a block (or a few) that look very similar, but then change a ton as you move on. Both in house style, to mix of residential vs. commercial on the block (and the type of commercial outlet), parks etc. Many suburbs have different style houses, but still end up just being endless loops of subdivisions, culdesecs, strip malls, chain restaurants etc. Though I have seen more varied suburbs for sure that were more like small cities. So it defintely just depends what city and what suburb.

I definitley get the issue for those having kids. So glad I never gave in on that with some exes and found a great woman who also never wanted kids. Never have to worry about those kind of decisions and can always make our life decisions purely on what we both personally want and not compromises for being in good school districts etc. Not that there's a damn thing wrong with that for people who love and want kids. Would have just been a terrible decision for me as I never remotely had any desire to have children.

 

[Faiz]

As a suburbanite and homeowner, I think a front yard and back yard are way overrated. I fucking hate mowing the lawn. Also shoveling the driveway and walkways in the winter blows.

And as my wife and I don't have children, half of our rooms aren't even used. Plus keep a house clean sucks. And there is alwaya something that has to be fixed.

Being a homeowner isn't so great.

Agree with the lawn bit. Our first house had a huge back yard and a decent front. 3 years ago we moved to a house with a quarter of the yardage, if that. Takes way less time to maintain even using a push mower instead of the riding mower like we used at the old house. I always loved visiting my grandparents as a kid and they had a huge backyard all the kids played in. Turns out I found it to be a great "place" to visit, but not live in.

 

[br3wnor]

To be fair, the suburbs are typically expensive as well. People in this thread aren't/weren't deciding between living in the suburbs or the ghetto. More between a big house in the suburbs or a condo/apt in a decent part of the city--for probably around the same cost.

As many noted, it's largely a lifestyle thing. Most can't afford a house/yard in the city (for cities that have neighborhoods with single family homes) or a condo big enough once they want to have 2-3 kids. Others just don't like cities or condo living etc. But it's probably not a choice between a shitty area of the city or the suburbs for people on this site as that's more of a lower class decision between living in a poor area so the city or moving to a far suburb.

That said, we don't live in the greatest area currently. We moved this past year to get closer into the nicer part of the city after getting raises, so there's a lot of crime nearby--but not in our little neighborhood. The PD posts crime maps so we used those to find a safe pocket. There's not a lot to do right next to us, but a lot of good restaurants and bars in 2-3 miles that we often walk or bike to. Just have to avoid some areas between those and us in terms of not walking back at night etc. Once the dogs are gone will get back to living in midtown (our favorite part of the city and where I lived before getting with her).

Are you talking about NYC? From my understanding if you want to own in Manhattan or Brooklyn you're dealing with pretty nutty pricing, well beyond the range of local suburbs. I could be completely wrong, but if you wanted to own an apartment or condo in a decent area of Manhattan or Brooklyn, you could do so in the $400,000 range? Because that's what decent parts of Long Island run, and that's only after you've gotten out into Suffolk and are a solid hour from the City. (Nassau County and closer to Queens your floor starts at $500,000 and easily runs into the 700-800 range for just normal houses) Not that I would have chosen the city over owning a house but my assumption was that any 'reasonably' priced apartments in good parts of NYC are bought up w/ over ask, full cash offers extremely quickly, it's such a hot market.

 

[Moose Biscuits]

Wow...it's almost as if different people from different backgrounds have varying preferences regarding where they enjoy living.

Must every-fucking-thing be a source of division?

Yes.

 

[Steve Youngblood]

I've never really understand why these types of discussions often devolve into adversarial exchanges of preference. I've lived in the 'burbs my whole life, but I've always been able to understand the allure of living in the city. Hell, part of me still thinks that perhaps when the kids are gone it'd still be fun to try it out if my wife and I find ourselves in a state of transition. But either way, whether or not one or the other is for you probably depends on what you're looking for. There are always exceptions to either, but to me the pros and cons often seem pretty clear.

If you're someone that likes to go out a lot and wants a wide array of culture and diverse selection of restaurants or live entertainment and so on, obviously you need to be in the city. If home is a place to hang your hat and a bed to sleep in, the city makes a ton of sense.

If, however, your home is your palace. If it's somewhere you plan to spend most of your time when you're not working and you value having a bit of space and privacy. If you're looking for a place where you can entertain guests or somewhere for the kids to run around in, the city seems awful to me unless you're extremely well off.

And obviously even with this assessment there's no one-size-fits-all guideline for raising a family. I'm sure there's plenty of kids out there living in modest apartments in the big city that are much happier than a similar group of kids that are growing up in a house with the white picket fence and pool in their back yard.

 

[Ron Mexico]

Edit: that said City vs suburb is largely a lifestsge thing imo. I loved cities in my 20s, but not sure I could stomach it anymore in my 30s. Once you have kids it becomes a hard choice to move into a city, or even to move into the suburbs of a very large city from a smaller city. Commutes start to suck, you start to think about having to possibly pay for private schools, and housing gets very pricey very quickly. For instance, I could pretty easily get about 30k raise doing exactly what I do today in a bigger city... but it wouldn't even barely make a dent in the difference in price of the standard of living.

Underrated part of the whole concept in choosing where to live, work, etc. There's always so many posts about the cost of real estate here and salaries there. None of this exists in a vacuum. If all I cared about was the number on the top line (i.e. gross salary), I wouldn't be nearly as comfortable (not rich, comfortable) as I am now.

There's a challenge in finding the right work, the right home with the right amenities and none of these exist on their own.

 

[Chozoman]

Yes.

Cool. I was just checking. Thanks for the clarification.

 

[ahoyhoy]

Your main problem is living in NOVA.

Move to the MD side of the river. Cheaper with more shit to do and less traffic.

Just don't look at home prices in Bethesda if you want to keep your sanity.

 

[zelas]

MD here. Most of NoVA sucks. That's your problem OP. Live somewhere where you can get the best of both worlds easily. It would really help if you guys got your Metro shit together. Using the train for DC stuff without actually have to suffer the hell that is living and driving in that city is amazing.

 

[God Dayumm]

Yes, and that "dense urban crush" must be hell too

My point is that each block has shops, idiosyncrasies, people, etc. There's a more dense concentration of human "stuff".

And even in the pic you shared there's visual variation in the actual building designs, even if it's just colour.

I guess the takeaway is this is too complex for labels or sides

Like with everything

Uhmm, this pic looks awful. So many cars, that they have to park over the sidewalk. Also it undermines the point that you don't need a car in the city to get anywhere

 

[Peltz]

I HATE living in the city. It's fucking gross, smelly, loud, just buildings and shit everywhere no nature (your block sized park doesn't count), no animals, no silence, everything is old and dirty, way way way too many people. It's awful.

Block sized park? Have you ever been to a city? A lot of them have spectacular parks.

 

[Lionheart1827]

Hahaha this is the only thing wife and I are not fond of living in suburbia. We're not the most social animals and our one neighbor is pretty chatty so I'll occasionally get stuck in a conversation web with him but other than that I love it. I'm in a Long Island (NY) suburb which is quite a bit more dense than typical suburbia. Most of my shopping needs are a 5 minute drive from my house so that's not really an issue. We have the beach w/in walking distance and live in a very quiet part of town. I grew up in a more rural area of upstate New York and miss it sometimes but overall I'm happy w/ the type of suburbia I live in. If I ever need/want to go to NYC it's an hour train ride away as well which is convenient.

I'm in Suffolk and I work in the city. I get the allure of living in the city and I can see people saying the burbs are boring, but working in the city is enough for me. I need the peace and quiet of the suburbs. Backyard BBQs, nature, beaches, and space away from noise, stank, and people is way better than overpriced and dense everything. And yeah, if I want to take advantage of the city, its an hour a way, and at the end of the day I can go home and not smell hot garbage stacked on the fucking street.

 

[teruterubozu]

Most people's living preferences change as their lives change. But most of you are too young to realize that.

 

[Peltz]

Are you talking about NYC? From my understanding if you want to own in Manhattan or Brooklyn you're dealing with pretty nutty pricing, well beyond the range of local suburbs. I could be completely wrong, but if you wanted to own an apartment or condo in a decent area of Manhattan or Brooklyn, you could do so in the $400,000 range? Because that's what decent parts of Long Island run, and that's only after you've gotten out into Suffolk and are a solid hour from the City. (Nassau County and closer to Queens your floor starts at $500,000 and easily runs into the 700-800 range for just normal houses) Not that I would have chosen the city over owning a house but my assumption was that any 'reasonably' priced apartments in good parts of NYC are bought up w/ over ask, full cash offers extremely quickly, it's such a hot market.

If you want to live in a decent area of manhattan and need a two bedroom apartment for kids, you're probably looking at 7 figures.. especially if you want a doorman building.

 

[HideyoshiJP]

Most people's living preferences change as their lives change. But most of you are too young to realize that.

Most definitely. I still long to live in the city, but now that I have money for things like surround sound and cars, there's things I know I'd have to give up to live there. That doesn't even touch on the whole "kids and family" topic.

 

[SoundsOfScience]

Get best of both worlds: live in a good progressive suburb or small city that's located just outside the major city you want to have easy access to.

Totally agree. I'm only a minute away from public transit into downtown, also an easy walk if I feel like it, but with lower rent, less people, and less noise.