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Why do weddings cost so much? How much are you willing to pay?

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I wouldn't spend more than 10k personally.

My sisters wedding was 45k (15k loaned from me)... And I didn't even get to ride in the limo :/
 
If you think American Weddings cost, you haven't seen Pakistani/Indian Weddings or as we say Desi Weddings

You can go the ultimate traditional route:

Thail - Grooms Family + Personal Friends go to the Bride's Home and meet their Family + Personal Friends, first meet & greet of many
"Pre-Party Superbowl"

Mehndi - Bride's side holds this celebration as all the girls from both family sides get tattooed up in heena like a motherfucker
"Kick-Off Special"

Nikha* - Mostly Bride's side, can be split by both sides, but customarily Bride's side, it's like 50% deposit dowry. The Granddaddy of them all, "The Wedding", "The Contract + The Decision" all-in-one
"SuperBowl"

Valima* - Mostly Groom's side, can be split by both sides, but customarily Groom's side. This is to finalize the marriage and show to the world and everyone that "Mr. & Mrs. Insert Last Name Here" are ready to start their life
"Super Bowl After-Party and maybe a little After-After Party"

* These 2 can be flipped-flopped by either party, $$$$ and prestige + respect speaks volumes

You will not have many desi weddings under the < $10k mantra, no way no how, that shit isn't even the average, that's bare minimum

Highest desi wedding I've been to is my cousin getting hitched, they spent roughly $500,000... YES!, you are reading that right, I haven't misplaced a $0, FIVE HUNDRED FUCKING THOUSAND DOLLARS
The Valima alone was $400k, it took place at Oheka Castle in NY

The cheapest I've been too, lol I shit you not... $150... they just got a marriage license, did nikha through Imam for free, and then got 10 of us to show up to local desi watering hole for buffet LOL, was a blast to say the least, I think all of us chipped in $100 each, so they made PROFIT!, lol

It's cheaper as fuck to do shit in your homeland though, if here or more western nations, yeah the prices skyrocket

I mean $5,000 American in Pakistan, you feast like a fucking king and get shit done
 
Ours will probably cost 20k, and that's getting 15% off the price per head and the ceremony for free (since we're going to book 12 months before) and we're keeping it to 150 guests (and that's keeping it to firsts cousins).

My brothers cost 60k.
 
The reason weddings cost so much is that fucking women will tell you any god damn thing you want to hear before you are engaged, but after you mentally and financially commit to them in the engagement, they realize you aren't going to back down and turn into their true evil form.
 
GraveRobberX said:
If you think American Weddings cost, you haven't seen Pakistani/Indian Weddings or as we say Desi Weddings

You can go the ultimate traditional route:

Thail - Grooms Family + Personal Friends go to the Bride's Home and meet their Family + Personal Friends, first meet & greet of many
"Pre-Party Superbowl"

Mehndi - Bride's side holds this celebration as all the girls from both family sides get tattooed up in heena like a motherfucker
"Kick-Off Special"

Nikha* - Mostly Bride's side, can be split by both sides, but customarily Bride's side, it's like 50% deposit dowry. The Granddaddy of them all, "The Wedding", "The Contract + The Decision" all-in-one
"SuperBowl"

Valima* - Mostly Groom's side, can be split by both sides, but customarily Groom's side. This is to finalize the marriage and show to the world and everyone that "Mr. & Mrs. Insert Last Name Here" are ready to start their life
"Super Bowl After-Party and maybe a little After-After Party"

* These 2 can be flipped-flopped by either party, $$$$ and prestige + respect speaks volumes

You will not have many desi weddings under the < $10k mantra, no way no how, that shit isn't even the average, that's bare minimum

Highest desi wedding I've been to is my cousin getting hitched, they spent roughly $500,000... YES!, you are reading that right, I haven't misplaced a $0, FIVE HUNDRED FUCKING THOUSAND DOLLARS
The Valima alone was $400k, it took place at Oheka Castle in NY

The cheapest I've been too, lol I shit you not... $150... they just got a marriage license, did nikha through Imam for free, and then got 10 of us to show up to local desi watering hole for buffet LOL, was a blast to say the least, I think all of us chipped in $100 each, so they made PROFIT!, lol

It's cheaper as fuck to do shit in your homeland though, if here or more western nations, yeah the prices skyrocket

I mean $5,000 American in Pakistan, you feast like a fucking king and get shit done
Click to expand...

haha I'm Pakistani so I know what you mean. But i love it and I'm definitely getting married in Pakistan! I really enjoy the whole cultural thing and respecting the old ways. Something about it makes me feel like I'm in the godfather/sopranos respecting the old ways. Plus the wedding times in desk families is just such a good feeling. It's a week of great happiness. They're also really big because in desi culture a marriage isn't just two people it getting married, it's two FAMILIES joining together.
Everyone should watch the movie Monsoon Wedding to get a good idea.
 
Eloping all these years ago really was the best thing we've done.

I actually know people who weren't done with their wedding credit when they got divorced.
 
Any girl who has already planned her wedding day, i would break up with. Seriously. If i ever marry it will be vegas style, or just with a visit to the mayors office.

I would spend 100 dollars maybe? (Potential trip to vegas not included)
 
Crunched said:
He is including an "authentic Italian-made album."

I have to admit he was the best we looked at, but also double the price of the next best.

I really don't give a shit about the ceremony myself. It is coming up in about six months. Just don't care. The legal stuff is all fine and I have nothing against marriage as a vocation. But all this ceremonial dream fantasy wank is such garbage.

It doesn't help that I am an athiest and being forced to sit through pre cana bullshit because she's catholic. All I want is to sign the papers and be done with it.

It's not really fair to say it's just her that's pushing for it though. It's both our families, extended relatives, even friends. Everyone seems to be into the "celebration" of it except me.

This makes her sound a bit like a bridezilla -- and she is! I think she's got sort of a weird princess obsession. It's almost like a fetish. She keeps Disney princess stuff all over the place, and owns like 20 copies of Sleeping Beauty. Outside of that she's a good person, but I think the whole wedding thing is like a culmination of this twisted wish fulfillment fantasy she has.
Click to expand...
Uh.....

You sound miserable.
 
Palette Swap said:
Eloping all these years ago really was the best thing we've done.

I actually know people who weren't done with their wedding credit when they got divorced.[/QUOTE]

That's gross. I think if you can't pay for it, whatever amount it is, you shouldn't be doing it. Going into debt doesn't seem like an intelligent way to start a marriage; they're hard enough as is.

That being said, North American weddings seem silly to spend $20k on. Ukrainian weddings can last 2 weeks and start with the groom paying a random for the bride (very traditional but all in fun: often the bride's parents will bring out a man in a wedding dress). I think it's odd to spend $20k on 6-12hrs of fun. I don't think it's as odd to spend the same amount on a 2 week party (though it wouldn't necessarily be required).
Click to expand...
 
OG Kush said:
haha I'm Pakistani so I know what you mean. But i love it and I'm definitely getting married in Pakistan! I really enjoy the whole cultural thing and respecting the old ways. Something about it makes me feel like I'm in the godfather/sopranos respecting the old ways. Plus the wedding times in desk families is just such a good feeling. It's a week of great happiness. They're also really big because in desi culture a marriage isn't just two people it getting married, it's two FAMILIES joining together.
Everyone should watch the movie Monsoon Wedding to get a good idea.
Click to expand...

A lot of Eastern European weddings are the same and I fucking hate them. Hey, let's invite a bunch of people we barely even know to try to be as extravagant as possible!
 
GraveRobberX said:
If you think American Weddings cost, you haven't seen Pakistani/Indian Weddings or as we say Desi Weddings

You can go the ultimate traditional route:

Thail - Grooms Family + Personal Friends go to the Bride's Home and meet their Family + Personal Friends, first meet & greet of many
"Pre-Party Superbowl"

Mehndi - Bride's side holds this celebration as all the girls from both family sides get tattooed up in heena like a motherfucker
"Kick-Off Special"

Nikha* - Mostly Bride's side, can be split by both sides, but customarily Bride's side, it's like 50% deposit dowry. The Granddaddy of them all, "The Wedding", "The Contract + The Decision" all-in-one
"SuperBowl"

Valima* - Mostly Groom's side, can be split by both sides, but customarily Groom's side. This is to finalize the marriage and show to the world and everyone that "Mr. & Mrs. Insert Last Name Here" are ready to start their life
"Super Bowl After-Party and maybe a little After-After Party"

* These 2 can be flipped-flopped by either party, $$$$ and prestige + respect speaks volumes

You will not have many desi weddings under the < $10k mantra, no way no how, that shit isn't even the average, that's bare minimum

Highest desi wedding I've been to is my cousin getting hitched, they spent roughly $500,000... YES!, you are reading that right, I haven't misplaced a $0, FIVE HUNDRED FUCKING THOUSAND DOLLARS
The Valima alone was $400k, it took place at Oheka Castle in NY

The cheapest I've been too, lol I shit you not... $150... they just got a marriage license, did nikha through Imam for free, and then got 10 of us to show up to local desi watering hole for buffet LOL, was a blast to say the least, I think all of us chipped in $100 each, so they made PROFIT!, lol

It's cheaper as fuck to do shit in your homeland though, if here or more western nations, yeah the prices skyrocket

I mean $5,000 American in Pakistan, you feast like a fucking king and get shit done
Click to expand...

This...

is pretty true to life.
 
The cost of my wedding was divided so not one person had to pay it all.

Yeah it was close to 20k, but that included the honeymoon. I don't regret anything except the DJ. He was AWFUL.
 
Crunched said:
Planning mine right now.

Don't know the final cost of the hall + food + drinks.

Photographer is $4,000.
DJ is $2,000 (he is providing a photo booth).
Florist is $1,000.
Limo service is $1,300.
Honeymoon is $6,000.

I would have been fine with just signing the legal stuff. She wanted everything.

I haven't put forward a dime.

We (she?) has invited about 340 people. I invited, uh, maybe 12.
Click to expand...

I'll do your photos for $100 with my new DSLR. They might not be as good but you will have almost 4k extra for your honeymoon.
 
People can spend whatever on anything, I don't care. But as someone who has attended probably a dozen or more weddings, even the ones that are obviously expensive, nothing really stands out, aside from whether I enjoyed myself or not (IOW was there beer at my table). So don't assume a wallet busting event is going to make much of an long-term impact on your audience. It's only a few hours of their time.

And wtf at people loaning money to family for weddings; why would you do that, ever?

edit: and yeah, I know a few people who are paying off their wedding several years later. Seems like a bad idea to me.
 
GraveRobberX said:
If you think American Weddings cost, you haven't seen Pakistani/Indian Weddings or as we say Desi Weddings

You can go the ultimate traditional route:

Thail - Grooms Family + Personal Friends go to the Bride's Home and meet their Family + Personal Friends, first meet & greet of many
"Pre-Party Superbowl"

Mehndi - Bride's side holds this celebration as all the girls from both family sides get tattooed up in heena like a motherfucker
"Kick-Off Special"

Nikha* - Mostly Bride's side, can be split by both sides, but customarily Bride's side, it's like 50% deposit dowry. The Granddaddy of them all, "The Wedding", "The Contract + The Decision" all-in-one
"SuperBowl"

Valima* - Mostly Groom's side, can be split by both sides, but customarily Groom's side. This is to finalize the marriage and show to the world and everyone that "Mr. & Mrs. Insert Last Name Here" are ready to start their life
"Super Bowl After-Party and maybe a little After-After Party"

* These 2 can be flipped-flopped by either party, $$$$ and prestige + respect speaks volumes

You will not have many desi weddings under the < $10k mantra, no way no how, that shit isn't even the average, that's bare minimum

Highest desi wedding I've been to is my cousin getting hitched, they spent roughly $500,000... YES!, you are reading that right, I haven't misplaced a $0, FIVE HUNDRED FUCKING THOUSAND DOLLARS
The Valima alone was $400k, it took place at Oheka Castle in NY

The cheapest I've been too, lol I shit you not... $150... they just got a marriage license, did nikha through Imam for free, and then got 10 of us to show up to local desi watering hole for buffet LOL, was a blast to say the least, I think all of us chipped in $100 each, so they made PROFIT!, lol

It's cheaper as fuck to do shit in your homeland though, if here or more western nations, yeah the prices skyrocket

I mean $5,000 American in Pakistan, you feast like a fucking king and get shit done
Click to expand...
Da fuck?
 
GraveRobberX said:
Thail - Grooms Family + Personal Friends go to the Bride's Home and meet their Family + Personal Friends, first meet & greet of many
"Pre-Party Superbowl"

Mehndi - Bride's side holds this celebration as all the girls from both family sides get tattooed up in heena like a motherfucker
"Kick-Off Special"

Nikha* - Mostly Bride's side, can be split by both sides, but customarily Bride's side, it's like 50% deposit dowry. The Granddaddy of them all, "The Wedding", "The Contract + The Decision" all-in-one
"SuperBowl"

Valima* - Mostly Groom's side, can be split by both sides, but customarily Groom's side. This is to finalize the marriage and show to the world and everyone that "Mr. & Mrs. Insert Last Name Here" are ready to start their life
"Super Bowl After-Party and maybe a little After-After Party"
Click to expand...

Currently in the middle of planning a desi wedding, but even location matters in the US (live anywhere near NY/NJ/DC/Md/Va you're gonna pay a premium for anything. We're skipping most of the traditional pre-events (or holding them at family homes) and its still gonna be expensive. We got a nicer hall so we can skimp on the decorations/etc. Also we're probably only inviting half the number we probably could (still 300+) ... ugh.

Also we're trying to get pricing on everything w/o mentioning the word wedding or reception, but people see right through that.
 
Its ridiculous. WHen you get married you should use that money for the deposit on a house so you can ensure you are financially stable. sure, its not romantic, but its fucking responsible.

I really dont want to get married for the following reasons:

a) Cost of the wedding
b) Cost to me of the divorce. I cannot stand to lose half of everything if the marriage goes tits up. Ive not had a successful rship yet, so what makes me think that the next one is going to work just cos we are married? ppl cheat, ppl change their minds, ppl get divorced.

IF i get married, its going to be pre-nup protected for sure.
 
I've been to a "million dollar wedding" There were more than 500 guests... I don't remember much from the night and I wasn't drinking. I remember too many people in the restroom at once, and the dance where the couples get on the dance-floor... there wasn't enough room.
 
I'm really dreading all of this... I told the bf that I wouldn't want a ceremony, but he's saying he does. I'd rather put that money towards a house :\
 
It's very depressing to see people spending so much on weddings if they can't afford it (i.e.: pay cash). My wedding cost $6,000 total, and was extremely nice, because my wife was smart how she planned it. i.e.: one of our graphic artist friends made our invitations, her designer friend made the dress, etc. My parents spent about $40,000 a piece on each of my sister's weddings, and it seems like a steep drop in the utility curve of what you spend vs what you get.
 
It is insane...it is a crazy enterprise.

Best thing to do is use a neutral reception site...by that I mean one that allows you to bring in your own alcohol and catering service.

Otherwise this is where the costs shoot through the roof...they force you into minimum per person costs and have all kinds of restrictions. You get into a situation where you almost can't get out for less than $60 per person, much higher when you try to provide alcohol....this doesn't include all the other parts like decorating, officials, photos, etc.
 
Getting married next year, expecting to pay 10k for reception, dinner and ceremony.

Max for me is 12-15k

Desi weddings look like they were named after WoW NPCs.
 
In HS we had to to the budgets for our weddings, and for our funerals. My wedding came out to be $55k and my funeral $15k.

As a grown ass man, give me a beach, and open bar, and a merengue band, and I'm good to go.

I rather spend it all on a honeymoon.
 
Luckily both my GF and I are atheist and don't belong to a church so ours will be fairly inexpensive. Probably just have it outdoors or something. My cousin had a really nice atheist wedding on the patio of a bar/resturaunt that is really trendy in Cleveland. It was the coolest and most enjoyable wedding I've ever attended.

Then again my other cousin had hers on the beach of Hilton Head and then we had a massive patio party full of high end liquor afterwards. That was pretty baller too. I went skinny dipping with one of the members of the band afterwards ;)
 
macuser1of5 said:
And wtf at people loaning money to family for weddings; why would you do that, ever?
Click to expand...
I lent my oldest brother the money because he was leaving for his honeymoon the next day and the hall had to be paid the day after he left. He had more than enough from his wedding but since most people paid in cheques and they wouldn't clear before he left I gave him an interest-free loan for 2 weeks until he got back. It was no big deal lending him $30K because I knew there would be no problem getting it back right away. It was much better than him taking out a line of credit just to pay it back a couple of weeks later like my cousin did. Both my uncle (not his dad) and I gave him shit for that since we both would've been happy to save him the money by lending it to him interest-free. I guess it's different in a close family though.
 
Zoe said:
I'm really dreading all of this... I told the bf that I wouldn't want a ceremony, but he's saying he does. I'd rather put that money towards a house :\
Click to expand...

Do a destination wedding. Stuff is a LOT cheaper. My girl wants to stay local though (Northern VA), so I'm looking at around 15k for mine.

Squire Felix said:
Getting married next year, expecting to pay 10k for reception, dinner and ceremony.

Max for me is 12-15k

Desi weddings look like they were named after WoW NPCs.
Click to expand...

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought this.
 
My sister just invited immediate family then each of them invited around 5 friends. I think her wedding had 20 people. It was nice and there's no way it cost over a couple thousand dollars for everything.

If I get married I can't even think of 200+ people to invite. Just my 3-4 close friends (and their +1) and my family.
 
These wedding businesses must be making bank.

And don't 50% or so of marriages fail? Seems like a waste, but that's me being cynical and cheap for ya.
 
Our wedding was probably 1000 dollars including absolutely everything. Wife and I are both in positions where we have a lot of hookups. Her dress was on sale from 1k to 200 and looked gorgeous on her. We got married at the place of our first date. Had probably 70 people at the wedding, and the reception followed at her Grandma's house which had plenty of space for everyone. A friend of mine owns a catering business and he hooked up all the food, and another friends dad is in a cover band so they played the reception. We had probably bought 5 cases of beer, and had plenty of hard alcohol to go around. Another friend of mine does wedding photography and hooked us up for free.

Thank god we aren't so insecure as to spend more than a couple thousand on a wedding.

32528_1477917385861_1171546141_1365958_7868293_n.jpg
 
zbroome said:
Our wedding was probably 1000 dollars including absolutely everything.
Click to expand...
Wow. I'm spending more than that to ATTEND a wedding.

Speaking of which, how is this, etiquette-wise?

- couple decides to hold wedding at a resort type place in a country where neither side (family, friends, etc) lives. This means everyone attending the wedding has to fly there. The guests get a group package discount to the resort, but it's still over a grand per person, and the guests have to pay that out of their pockets.
- bridesmaids have to pay for their own dresses, but they get makeup for free.
 
Akuun said:
Wow. I'm spending more than that to ATTEND a wedding.

Speaking of which, how is this, etiquette-wise?

- couple decides to hold wedding at a resort type place in a country where neither side (family, friends, etc) lives. This means everyone attending the wedding has to fly there. The guests get a group package discount to the resort, but it's still over a grand per person, and the guests have to pay that out of their pockets.
- bridesmaids have to pay for their own dresses, but they get makeup for free.
Click to expand...

There's nothing wrong with making people spend money to attend a destination wedding (personally I would pay for immediate family), and bridesmaids/groomsmen paying for rental or purchase is normal. The bad etiquette would be in shaming someone for not being able to afford all that.
 
Zoe said:
There's nothing wrong with making people spend money to attend a destination wedding (personally I would pay for immediate family), and bridesmaids/groomsmen paying for rental or purchase is normal. The bad etiquette would be in shaming someone for not being able to afford all that.
Click to expand...
Hm. Would it be bad form to turn down the wedding invitation for financial reasons?
 
.GqueB. said:
You don't HAVE to spend that much. There are ways to keep your costs down. Keeping the guest list short is a start.

Most of the budget is spent on the dress though.
Click to expand...

No it isn't. Having just gotten married I can tell you the dress accounts for less than 10% of the budget. Feeding 250 people, with a nice restaurant quality meal + plus a nice open bar is the bulk of the cost.

Really anything times 250 is gonna cost you. The dress is peanuts compared to that.
 
I didn't have a choice in the matter. As it turns out, my wife's family was very traditional at the time, and the father-in-law just helped take a company public and bankrolled. So, this wedding of 80~ guests was a massive affair. Nice band, killer food, open bar, pre-parties, receptions, after-parties... it was the shit.

Some people just want the status.
 
Ok. Thanks for the perspective, guys. I've never been to a destination wedding before so I don't know how the etiquette works.
 
Me and my fiance are getting married in August. Total is around $5700.

A friend of ours was married back in '06, and it cost $35K. Just insane!
 
For anyone unsure about etiquette: Etiquette Hell

I don't agree with everything she says (birthday parties in particular), but her wedding stuff is pretty much spot on.
 
I always thought destination weddings are intended to be a subtle way to cull the list of guests without insulting anyone.
 
FreeMufasa said:
It's ridiculous. But I tell you whats even worse, Funeral costs. Like £10k+. Worst of all from what i've read, some old people don't leave any money towards funeral costs making their family pay it all.

God I hope my descendants don't spend a dime on me when I die. I'm dead, I won't care.
Click to expand...

It's not for you, Mr self-center. It's for those left behind.
 
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