Support NeoGAF

[Enzom21]

I tried with my mother and her support of Prop 8 but that religious indoctrination is strong in her. She has never said anything anti-gay but she voted yes on Prop 8. Her views on marriage equality has changed like the rest of the country.

I have never heard my mother say anything bigoted towards another race, but I have heard about all the stories about the racism throw at her by white people. Deputies are racist as hell in Fresno.

 

[Hatty]

Yeah a lot of my family is too old to reason with

what Oprah says seems to be the best option for older people set in their ways

Don't look at the video comments of course, it's a garbage pile

 

[Eidan]

I do. My family fully expects me to give them shit if they say something fucked up.

 

[Lum1n3s]

It's really hard to change someone's views when that mentality of theirs is so engraved that it's just a part of them. Everytime I've seen a argument between two people like racism for example, the person always dodges the facts and comes up with other things and starts to then bring in non-relevant things to the conversation just so they can sound right. So yeah, there's no point honestly.

 

[Geist-]

Arguing against people often just makes them more entrenched in their opinions...

This is true in my experience. I still try to make an effort but it gets so fucking exhausting.

 

[Darksol]

I do. Which is probably part of the reason I have few friends and family

 

[Hellwarden]

I try to, but it's not easy.

It means discussing a topic most Americans avoid like the Plague.

 

[Ishan]

I do but with close family and friends only.

I don't a lot because

1) with some ppl it is clearly a waste of time

2) often ppl don't work on logic but emotions and empathy so they have to be close to you to actually listen

3) some topics are not my business and ppl are free to be assholes.

4) somethings are not my business as im on a student visa and I don't presume to tell ppl here how to do things in their country.

5) I tend to often have a grey world view and most of the times the urge to speak up about something is when you see something as clearly black or white.

 

[Zen_Arcade]

I still do sometimes but by and large I've stopped because eventually you learn that you're not going to get anywhere.

Racism is based off illogical thought process and trying to argue it with logic usually doesn't work. Even when I "Win" an argument in these situations the person just gets mad and tries to change the subject. Only to continue to think exactly the same way the next time the subject comes up.

 

[soco]

Where i'm from, confronting them just means people stop talking about it in front of you, then go about their way. It's basically useless.

That's not to say I don't do it, but I don't do it often anymore. I don't have the time or energy to take on all of it.

 

[Glass Rebel]

I make an effort to call out any racist, sexist, homophobic etc. remarks or actions but damn is it hard sometimes.

People get super defensive of their outdated/bigoted views and as soon as you start to bring in concepts like institutionalized racism, appropriation or neo-colonialism you're just "trying to start something" anyway. "Grow thicker skin", "I don't see colour", "Racism exists because people keep talking about it" blablabla it's always the same old same old.

So I guess the only thing I can do about it is keep calling it out.

 

[Cipher Peon]

I confront it immediately.

Don't care if it doesn't go anywhere, don't care if they talk about it somewhere else. I will not allow injustice to occur in front of me.

 

[Dabanton]

Man do all the "it's not worth the time or effort" comments piss me right the fuck off. Especially coming from people more than content to spend hours arguing about geek minutiae.

Haha damm.

I would say it's because people are scared to confront people, whether they'll admit that to themselves is another matter.

Yes some people won't change their minds,but letting them know that no. Not everyone thinks like them is important.

 

[SymbiantXenos]

My family and friends aren't racist so no.

 

[Suite Pee]

I do it all the time, which makes me the asshole

I get it, though

 

[LUFTRAUSER]

Sometimes it isn't worth alienating your family just to feel self-righteous. It's easier with friends though because you can just choose who you hang out with.
Frankly it's usually a waste of time anyway. Your words aren't going to change a lifetime of opinions. All you'll really do is teach them not to mention it around you.

No, they don't.

 

[Gentle Rodriguez]

I guess this isn't directed at me but hey.

I do confront them but there's really not much of a point in doing it, racists will be racists and I am unable to change their minds nor do I feel like it's my responsibility to change their minds. As long as they keep their shitty thoughts to themselves I don't really care. I did stop being friends with a person because he was racist but realistically that's as far as I can go.

With family it's a whole different ordeal, when I'm basically the only person in a room that feels differently there is absolutely no point in trying to challenge racist/hateful remarks. They'll just all agree that you are wrong and whatever you say will have no effect other than to alienate yourself from the others.

 

[The Adder]

Sometimes it isn't worth alienating your family to feel self-righteous.

Whatever you need to tell yourself to justify your apathy.

 

[BluePigGanon]

If it's an actual topic of conversation, I'll share my opinion and defend it. But if someone is just talking and they make some throwaway remark I don't agree with, I let it go because what's the point. It derails the conversation, I'm not changing anyone's mind, people believe what they believe.

Not everyone needs to hear my opinion on every single idea they're expressing.

 

[richardhawk]

I do. I called my grandmother a racist shitbag after she told me not to bring my at the time black girlfriend over to her house because "she might steal something from me".

 

[paparazzo]

Thread's already covered the main reasons, but personally, certain family members with these views also exhibit narcissistic tendencies since they tend to get angry and use a self-righteous persecution complex whenever an argument on something they've said or done comes up. So it becomes a question of needing to be right versus eroding what little relationship with that person you have left.

 

[LUFTRAUSER]

Whatever you need to tell yourself to justify your apathy.

I had some grandparents that were racist. Do you know what cured them? Dying.

 

[lifa-cobex]

Simply just don't care what others believe.
Just be happy with yourself and let others do the same.

 

[MicH]

My mom confronted her sister and mother on this issue. They no longer see or speak to each other.

 

[BluePigGanon]

I had some grandparents that were racist. Do you know what cured them? Dying.

I laughed. I hope that's okay.

But yeah, you pick your battles.

 

[LUFTRAUSER]

I laughed. I hope that's okay.

But yeah, you pick your battles.

Well, you know what they say. Social progress happens one funeral at a time.

 

[Massive Duck. C.M.]

Simply just don't care what others believe.
Just be happy with yourself and let others do the same.

What if what someone believes results in a brick to the head for having melanin

I might be less happy

 

[Tabris]

racists will be racists and I am unable to change their minds nor do I feel like it's my responsibility to change their minds. As long as they keep their shitty thoughts to themselves I don't really care.

First, I don't think it's true that racists will be racists. Change occurs. You take the person who's currently an Islamophobic person, you go back 5 to 10 years ago, they may have been also Homophobic. But they changed. They changed due to social pressure because people started speaking out on LGBT discrimination.

It became unpopular to be homophobic. We need to make Islamophobia unpopular.

And their shitty thoughts as a collective are the problem we are currently having today. Why wouldn't you want to address it? That specific's persons thoughts may not affect you, but you letting them get away with those thoughts uncontested is what is the problem.

It's the same as watching someone litter on the ground. Does that affect you directly. No. Does that person's individual littering matter? No. But it leads to a collective problem that does affect you and does matter.

 

[The Adder]

I had some grandparents that were racist. Do you know what cured them? Dying.

I had an uncle that was an Islamophobe. Do you know what cured him?

Four hours locking horns and convincing the fence sitters in the family listening to us go at it. If he holds the same views now he sure doesn't speak about them publically.

 

[NumberTwo]

I had some grandparents that were racist. Do you know what cured them? Dying.

This is so dark.lol

I quit Facebook not long after I created my profile years ago. I feel like I have dodged a huge bullet in that aspect of my social life.

 

[entremet]

I don't known any overt racists honestly.

I have no idea what's in people hearts, though.

 

[lifa-cobex]

What if what someone believes results in a brick to the head for having melanin

I might be less happy

If a belief is to make another unhappy, then that would go against my belief.
I would attempt to talk them out of it.

 

[dofry]

Do you have any idea how difficult it is to convince someone that the earth is not flat or that it's not at the center of the universe?

 

[esms]

Because its a waste of time.

A succinct summation of why I don't.

 

[banefirelord]

I do call them out. I've managed to change my dad's mind on some of his shitty opinions as a result.

 

[teruterubozu]

It's one thing to confront someone personally, but on Facebook or social media seems pointless. Most of the time they're trolling anyway and welcome confrontation just to double- and triple- down.

 

[NightShift]

My sister often argues with my parents over their open racism and yeah, it's the most pointless back and forth shit in the world. You can't change people's opinions over simple words, the only way to get rid of racism is to let it die out.

 

[Jombie]

It just creates drama, especially if it's within a family.

 

[Milksheikhs]

As a Muslim I used to comment a lot of people's islamophobic hatred trying to persuade them that it's not true and why all Muslims are not terrorists etc.

But honestly I'm so fed up with trying to debate with racist people who I'm never gonna change their mind. It's too much mental effort on my part. I hate having to constantly justify shit to them, and I have so many other things going on in my life right now I simply don't hve time to put up with their bullshit over social media.

However, when in person I always make it a point to say something or call out about racism, sexism, etc if I feel one of my family members or friends has said something inappropriate. My sister is racist and is raising her kids with the same mentality. So when I was visiting with them I made it a point to talk about racism with them and showed them the Jane Elliot brown eye/blue eye experiment and talked about it with them afterwards. Unfortunately, I don't think it will have much influence over them because I don't live with or near them.

 

[Aikidoka]

I call my family out as being idiotic bigots all the time. It's why I absolutely dread holidays/birthdays where they expect me to visit. I haven't changed anyone's mind, but I also have very little patience for grown-ups acting like brats so what I say can be pretty abrasive, I think.

 

[The Adder]

My sister often argues with my parents over their open racism and yeah, it's the most pointless back and forth shit in the world. You can't change people's opinions over simple words, the only way to get rid of racism is to let it die out.

This is just the dumbest fucking shit I have seen all day. We didn't get to the slightly better place we are today because people died off.

 

[NervousXtian]

I have a limited number of shits to give, and it's not worth giving up part of those shits to people like that.

Getting bent out of shape on shit like someone quoting Donald Trump isn't worth my time nor my energy. It's also futile.

 

[chicko1983]

A couple of weeks ago at my work lunchroom an old guy was having a rant about letting Muslim refugees move to the western countries. His actual policy was "wherever you are born, you should stay". I had to bite my tongue and not say anything, he had moved from Italy to Australia himself when he was younger!

Then at the Christmas party on Friday night following that conversation,I was a little drunk and I told him I had completely lost respect for him and couldnt actually believe what he was saying.

This week, he was very sheepish when we saw each other in the office. He is an older engineer who I used to get along with and ask a lot of technical questions to because he was always helpful to me, but now I cant see us getting along together.

I am dark skinned and Australian (adopted from Sri Lanka), I have been subjected to a lot of racism but I generally never confront it, I just ignore that person. A few of my friends have stepped in for me to confront racists having a go at me on the sporting field, at pubs and parties etc. But this was really the first time I have confronted a racist/xenophobe directly before.

 

[psynergylover]

I'd say because I'm black, a large portion of my family is either black or hispanic...there's no one to confront other than the racism we face from outside our family. And we're basically level-headed as why hate on others as others hate on us...

I'm 24 and a large majority of my friends are maybe 2-4 years older than me or younger; out generation seems much more tolerant and loving than those before us

 

[zeemumu]

Family's too old and stubborn to stop being racist. I don't really have racist friends. I can choose those. But I can't choose my family.

 

[Massive Duck. C.M.]

This is just the dumbest fucking shit I have seen all day. We didn't get to the slightly better place we are today because people died off.

The cute thing about people saying racism will die off is that it's being passed down through generations while they themselves are content to stand in it up to their knees.

Hope those Ugg boots are waterproof

 

[Kinsei]

I do. And I hope that if I say something bigoted that someone around me will do the same.

The reality is that these are deeply entrenched beliefs and the only result is cutting off contact.

That's not really a bad thing.

Man do all the "it's not worth the time or effort" comments piss me right the fuck off. Especially coming from people more than content to spend hours arguing about geek minutiae.

Same here.

 

[BluePigGanon]

Practically speaking, it's hard to make a rational argument against irrational beliefs.

 

[internetwolf]

If someone's racist I don't consider them my friend.

 

[SkeptiMism]

Generally I do pretty much any time I see it. Some people just really don't wanna hear it though.

I even confronted my wife's aunt about her hate towards gays once when we were at my wife's grandparents and some of her other relatives were there too. The aunt went into this temper tantrum like some 6-year-old would do (back then a gay man was a candidate for presidency in my country and it pissed off a lot of bigots) and I pointed that out to her. She got pretty mad at me obviously but eventually my wife's grandpa stopped the argument. He didn't like my intrusion either but I didn't really care though because he's a pretty nasty person anyway. I'd like to think that the other more sane people of the family liked that I stopped it, but dunno. Don't really care that much anyway though.