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Why have we not established a race of midgets?
- Thread starter Green Shinobi
- Start date
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Powerslave
Banned
Where's the midget defense force on this one?
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
oh my.
i like the sound of this.
i like the sound of this.
DarthWaiter
Banned
not to rain on your parade, but i'm pretty sure dwarfism or "midget" as you call it, is not a gene that is always carried on to the offspring. Which means, your idea, while freaking awesome, just wouldn't work =(
Tralfamadore64
Banned
DarthWaiter said:
Way to ruin everybody's good time there, good-time-ruiner.
Green Shinobi
Banned
It's a recessive gene, so for someone to be a midget, they have to have two of the midget gene. I'm pretty sure that means that a child born to midget parents would be a midget 100% of the time, but I'm not sure. It's been awhile since Biology class.DarthWaiter said:
DarthWaiter
Banned
Green Shinobi said:
midget parents dont always have midget children, infact its just as rare as a regular human couple having a midget kid as it is a midget couple having a midget kid
marvelharvey
Member
Well, those none-midget children will have to be culled.DarthWaiter said:
Green Shinobi
Banned
Okay, I did the research.DarthWaiter said:
If two midgets have a child, there is a 25% chance that the child will be stillborn, a 50% chance that it will be a midget, and a 25% chance that it will be a normal sized human.
They would just need to implement a Spartan system where the non-midget infants are euthanized or exiled.
But you're right; this does put a damper on the plan.
hbkajshdvfbkjhvgkahsgdfka
Member
EDIT: Don't want to get my ass kicked.
andthebeatgoeson
Junior Member
Pics or it didn't happen.Francois the Great said:
Green Shinobi
Banned
I'm sure midget racing would be one of the main tourist attractions of this society. They would be perfect for Mario Kart-style kart racing.Finn said:
Mr. Banana Grabber
Banned
Pyroteknikz said:
By midgets?
hbkajshdvfbkjhvgkahsgdfka
Member
Mr. Banana Grabber said:
Trust me, it was really bad. Will not ever repeat it.
Tobor said:
When I was in driver's ed, my driving instructor had us drive to this area nearby with all these 17-th or so century architecture houses in it and he said that it was a midget town. I didn't believe him, but then I googled and read the Wikipedia article, and apparently the place does exist, out in Oakdale. I'm so gonna look for it one day
donkey show
Member
Please make this happen.
DarthWaiter
Banned
NutJobJim said:
funniest thing ever :lol :lol
Mr. Banana Grabber
Banned
Pyroteknikz said:
I'm really curious what you could have said about midgets that was so heinous that you won't utter it again on a message board. Give me some clues here. How quickly would I be beaten up if I had the phrase tattooed on my forehead?
ElectricBlue187
Member
I'm not sure if this is a evolution thread or a tolkien thread
nice work
nice work
I live about 5 minutes away from the "midget town" in Oakdale (Long Island), and the place isn't that exciting. I've gone at night with friends and really, it's kind of scary. The roads are kind of narrow and it reminds me of a horror movie. There are houses that look fit for little people, but I don't know if they actually are houses for little people. The doors are pretty tiny, though.djtiesto said:When I was in driver's ed, my driving instructor had us drive to this area nearby with all these 17-th or so century architecture houses in it and he said that it was a midget town. I didn't believe him, but then I googled and read the Wikipedia article, and apparently the place does exist, out in Oakdale. I'm so gonna look for it one day
Mr. Banana Grabber
Banned
Finn said:
Narrow roads? Do they drive narrow cars?
we will rule the world in another generation or two.
let's not stop there my friends. listen up.
the midgeted midgets could become "gnomes" and we could create a race of "gnomes" as well. it could happen right? they can live in anartica.
we could clone the dwarfs(midgets) and gnomes (midgited midgets) and edit the dna so they all look different.
we also could also mix man and bovine to make "tauren" and clone them. they will live in africa.
would there be away to restrict ear growth, mate, and clone, to create elfs? archery skills at the lowest age possible.
let's not stop there my friends. listen up.
the midgeted midgets could become "gnomes" and we could create a race of "gnomes" as well. it could happen right? they can live in anartica.
we could clone the dwarfs(midgets) and gnomes (midgited midgets) and edit the dna so they all look different.
we also could also mix man and bovine to make "tauren" and clone them. they will live in africa.
would there be away to restrict ear growth, mate, and clone, to create elfs? archery skills at the lowest age possible.
James Power
Banned
What's the political correct way to call them? How do they call themselves?
And are there actual dwarfies posting on the internet? Never saw one.
How about WoW? Will they automatically play a gnome/dwarf?
And are there actual dwarfies posting on the internet? Never saw one.
How about WoW? Will they automatically play a gnome/dwarf?
ElectricBlue187
Member
DeathNote said:
okay what are you gonna do for the undead and orcs, smart guy?
undeads.. we will get the untouchables from india with leprosy(i know both things exist, but not if any untouchables actually have leprosy in india) and breed/clone. http://www.igormeyer.com/nss-folder/pictures/Lepra5.jpg. calling them the untouchables would even be cool. we could also use ones that have crooked joints to walk awkwardly and slow.ElectricBlue187 said:
orcs..orcs.. hm.. i guess we'll get people with like down syndrome and edit the dna and make the skin tone green. they can also work out a lot. kudos to anyone who finds a down syndrome body builder and uses paint shop pro to target paint the skin color green.
mutation+science= a world where our fantasies can become reality.
Green Shinobi
Banned
They would have to, right? I mean, the cars would have to be pretty small to allow for the drivers to be able to reach the pedals.Mr. Banana Grabber said:
Tim the Wiz
Banned
*X-Files theme music*
Who's to say humanity wasn't established in exactly the same way?
Who's to say humanity wasn't established in exactly the same way?
we can't remove midgets from society, otherwise the internet stops. or at least, my understanding of it, which comes from here:
http://everything2.com/index.pl?node_id=678094
To understand "packets, bytes, bandwidth, and lag", you need to understand the midget system. Thousands of bisexual, bikini wearing, alcoholic, and high-heeled midgets are in your modem, phone line, and on the internet. These midgets are responsible for the transferring of data between computers. We will now break down the complicated midget networking system into several parts.
Modems - The first link in midget communication :
When you purchase a modem, you are, in essence, purchasing a mini-gay-midget bar. These "bars" come in MANY different speeds and styles. The faster the modem, the more midgets there are employed. (Hence the "pay more for a faster connection" reality)
14.4 modems are the small "pubs" of the internet. Normally, you'll find lazy washed out midgets here telling untrue tales of football glory and war heroism. Being that "14.4 Midgets" are normally drunk, the speed at which they communicate is quite slow.
28.8 modems are your standard "bar" at which you'll find single midgets looking to get laid, plastered, and into trouble. Being that the "28.8 midgets" are normally horny and lonely, there speed of communication is much faster than a 14.4 midget in the hopes that they'll get lucky if they move quicker.
56k modems are normally bars described as "midget orgy" lounges. Many midgets are packed into the lounge itself, but due to extremely harsh sexual liberation laws, most of the midgets sit around idly and are never put to use. Therefore, the amount of midgets actually communicating is reminiscent of a 28.8 bar.
ISDN modems are usually "midget discos". Although you pay for more midgets to be employed, they are normally tripped out on the "disco crack" and are extremely hyperactive. You can choose just how many midgets are employed at your disco, but the price difference is amazing. Due to the fact that these midgets are normally under the influence of the drugs that circulate at discos, they are edgy and their communication speeds are extremely quick.
CABLE modems are, to put it bluntly, "midget whorehouses". Although the price of a midget whore can be outrageous, owners of Cable modems are extremely proud and happy with there performance. Depending upon the traffic on the street where the "whorehouse" is located, midget communication may be lightning fast, or a slow crawl. Hundreds of midgets hang out in cable modems at all hours, simply trying to get laid. As stated above, internet midgets are very horny.
Packets - Universal format for Midget Communication:
When a person connects to the internet, and tries to send or receive any data from it, "packets" are formed. Packets are small "midget meals of information" that are easily digested and regurgitated during midget communication. These packets are constantly delivered from midget to midget. Depending on the speed of the midgets connection, packets can take an eternity to arrive. Several problems may arise when packets are being sent and received.
Lag/Packet Loss - A loss of Midget Sanity
Normally experienced during multiplayer gaming, LAG can be caused by a number of problems with midgets. Midgets that are prone to addictive or obsessive behavior may find themselves causing lag among an entire midget network.
Alcoholic/Drunk Midgets... are commonly found in, on, and around multiplayer gaming servers. These midgets are extremely sloppy and lazy, sometimes refusing to communicate with other midgets all together. If a drunk midget stumbles onto a chatty server, he or she will immediately "vomit" its packet of information up and pass out on the floor. Other midgets normally react harshly and refuse to communicate with that mess of information on the ground. Server administration midgets are normally blamed during the loss of communication for not removing the "mess". Eventually, the unconscious midget is removed, the mess is cleaned, and the other midgets rejoice and enjoy communicating once again.
Confused Midgets... normally hang around on websites and in web-browsers themselves. Confused midgets are easily spotted and dealt with. The symptoms of confused midgets may lead a user to think they are experiencing LAG, when in fact, their midgets are 100% sober. When trying to load a website, or download a file, confused midgets are hesitant about where to go and what to do, so they sit idly. To give a confused midget a good kick in the ass, simply click STOP (or CANCEL) and try to load or download again. The pain in the midgets ass will immediately send it in the right direction to communicate with other midgets.
Frequently Asked Questions :
Q: Why is my AOL connection so slow?
A: AOL uses its own midget bars to communicate with other midgets. AOL midgets are normally pot smoking-ass worshiping-dog loving-transvestites that move slower than 14.4 midgets. Don't be fooled... the "user friendly" AOL midgets are normally midget crime ring leaders that will rape your pets and steal your money.
Q: Why does my computer crash a lot while I'm on the internet?
A: A computer's crashing can be related to several known midget conditions. The two types of midgets associated with crashes are DOS and GPF midgets. The actual acronyms are pretty cute, but there is nothing pretty about these midgets.
DOS Midgets... are normally infected with sexually transmitted diseases. Hackers, or "llamas" may try to use these DOS Midgets to "fuck your ports". ( The term PORT is another name for an entrance to your midget bar <modem> ) Once you are "fucked" by one of these DOS midgets, your machine will become infected and crash. Generally, you will know if you are infected if your midgets turn blue and cease to communicate.
GPF Midgets... are normally employed by Bill Gates. An employee of Satan's (Microsoft's) empire, a GPF midget will crash any program it chooses at any time. Some people will say that you need more RAM ( Viagra for your midgets ) if you want to rid your system of GPF midgets. However, midget impotence is NOT normally a cause of GPF errors.
*You can ALWAYS rid your machine of GPF AND DOS Midgets by switching to Linux.*
Q: What is a 404 Error / Why are some websites GONE when I try to view them?
A: This is an extremely common occurrence in the world of Midget Internet communication. You must understand that midgets are people too. They eat (packets), breathe (connection time), and lead lives (communicating). Some midgets, normally SERVER midgets, wear jeans. The preferred jeans among midgets are Levi's 404 jeans. Sometimes, midgets are yelled at for staining their jeans with "illegal packets of food". ( Pirated Software or Under 18 Porn ). If a midget, or group of midgets, stain their jeans, they are removed from the server. Thus, you get a 404 error because the stain you tried to locate is no longer on a pair of jeans that is on the server.
http://everything2.com/index.pl?node_id=678094
To understand "packets, bytes, bandwidth, and lag", you need to understand the midget system. Thousands of bisexual, bikini wearing, alcoholic, and high-heeled midgets are in your modem, phone line, and on the internet. These midgets are responsible for the transferring of data between computers. We will now break down the complicated midget networking system into several parts.
Modems - The first link in midget communication :
When you purchase a modem, you are, in essence, purchasing a mini-gay-midget bar. These "bars" come in MANY different speeds and styles. The faster the modem, the more midgets there are employed. (Hence the "pay more for a faster connection" reality)
14.4 modems are the small "pubs" of the internet. Normally, you'll find lazy washed out midgets here telling untrue tales of football glory and war heroism. Being that "14.4 Midgets" are normally drunk, the speed at which they communicate is quite slow.
28.8 modems are your standard "bar" at which you'll find single midgets looking to get laid, plastered, and into trouble. Being that the "28.8 midgets" are normally horny and lonely, there speed of communication is much faster than a 14.4 midget in the hopes that they'll get lucky if they move quicker.
56k modems are normally bars described as "midget orgy" lounges. Many midgets are packed into the lounge itself, but due to extremely harsh sexual liberation laws, most of the midgets sit around idly and are never put to use. Therefore, the amount of midgets actually communicating is reminiscent of a 28.8 bar.
ISDN modems are usually "midget discos". Although you pay for more midgets to be employed, they are normally tripped out on the "disco crack" and are extremely hyperactive. You can choose just how many midgets are employed at your disco, but the price difference is amazing. Due to the fact that these midgets are normally under the influence of the drugs that circulate at discos, they are edgy and their communication speeds are extremely quick.
CABLE modems are, to put it bluntly, "midget whorehouses". Although the price of a midget whore can be outrageous, owners of Cable modems are extremely proud and happy with there performance. Depending upon the traffic on the street where the "whorehouse" is located, midget communication may be lightning fast, or a slow crawl. Hundreds of midgets hang out in cable modems at all hours, simply trying to get laid. As stated above, internet midgets are very horny.
Packets - Universal format for Midget Communication:
When a person connects to the internet, and tries to send or receive any data from it, "packets" are formed. Packets are small "midget meals of information" that are easily digested and regurgitated during midget communication. These packets are constantly delivered from midget to midget. Depending on the speed of the midgets connection, packets can take an eternity to arrive. Several problems may arise when packets are being sent and received.
Lag/Packet Loss - A loss of Midget Sanity
Normally experienced during multiplayer gaming, LAG can be caused by a number of problems with midgets. Midgets that are prone to addictive or obsessive behavior may find themselves causing lag among an entire midget network.
Alcoholic/Drunk Midgets... are commonly found in, on, and around multiplayer gaming servers. These midgets are extremely sloppy and lazy, sometimes refusing to communicate with other midgets all together. If a drunk midget stumbles onto a chatty server, he or she will immediately "vomit" its packet of information up and pass out on the floor. Other midgets normally react harshly and refuse to communicate with that mess of information on the ground. Server administration midgets are normally blamed during the loss of communication for not removing the "mess". Eventually, the unconscious midget is removed, the mess is cleaned, and the other midgets rejoice and enjoy communicating once again.
Confused Midgets... normally hang around on websites and in web-browsers themselves. Confused midgets are easily spotted and dealt with. The symptoms of confused midgets may lead a user to think they are experiencing LAG, when in fact, their midgets are 100% sober. When trying to load a website, or download a file, confused midgets are hesitant about where to go and what to do, so they sit idly. To give a confused midget a good kick in the ass, simply click STOP (or CANCEL) and try to load or download again. The pain in the midgets ass will immediately send it in the right direction to communicate with other midgets.
Frequently Asked Questions :
Q: Why is my AOL connection so slow?
A: AOL uses its own midget bars to communicate with other midgets. AOL midgets are normally pot smoking-ass worshiping-dog loving-transvestites that move slower than 14.4 midgets. Don't be fooled... the "user friendly" AOL midgets are normally midget crime ring leaders that will rape your pets and steal your money.
Q: Why does my computer crash a lot while I'm on the internet?
A: A computer's crashing can be related to several known midget conditions. The two types of midgets associated with crashes are DOS and GPF midgets. The actual acronyms are pretty cute, but there is nothing pretty about these midgets.
DOS Midgets... are normally infected with sexually transmitted diseases. Hackers, or "llamas" may try to use these DOS Midgets to "fuck your ports". ( The term PORT is another name for an entrance to your midget bar <modem> ) Once you are "fucked" by one of these DOS midgets, your machine will become infected and crash. Generally, you will know if you are infected if your midgets turn blue and cease to communicate.
GPF Midgets... are normally employed by Bill Gates. An employee of Satan's (Microsoft's) empire, a GPF midget will crash any program it chooses at any time. Some people will say that you need more RAM ( Viagra for your midgets ) if you want to rid your system of GPF midgets. However, midget impotence is NOT normally a cause of GPF errors.
*You can ALWAYS rid your machine of GPF AND DOS Midgets by switching to Linux.*
Q: What is a 404 Error / Why are some websites GONE when I try to view them?
A: This is an extremely common occurrence in the world of Midget Internet communication. You must understand that midgets are people too. They eat (packets), breathe (connection time), and lead lives (communicating). Some midgets, normally SERVER midgets, wear jeans. The preferred jeans among midgets are Levi's 404 jeans. Sometimes, midgets are yelled at for staining their jeans with "illegal packets of food". ( Pirated Software or Under 18 Porn ). If a midget, or group of midgets, stain their jeans, they are removed from the server. Thus, you get a 404 error because the stain you tried to locate is no longer on a pair of jeans that is on the server.
Green Shinobi
Banned
They would also need to all have 20:10 or better vision. I'm sure that such a thing could be genetically engineered. I've seen some people out there with pretty pointy ears; we would just need to isolate that gene and make it the dominant phenotype within the population.DeathNote said:
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