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[Angry Fork]

That's why I said probably, I can't play GAF-Detective right now but given the attitude of many posters in this forum I at least accurately predicted the response to this thread... so my track record is 1 for 1... that's 100%!

The amount of people in this thread giving this girl props/defending her would be the same as if the tables were turned.

No man on this forum is going to laugh at some lady getting conned by some young guy out of her money and time (unless they were sociopaths). You can't convince me that would be the case. Both are equally reprehensible.

 

[Tesseract]

So she knows how the play the game and get the money. Don't see any problem with it.

it's only a game if you're a feckless asshole. good people do not take advantage of other people.

 

[brucewaynegretzky]

The amount of people in this thread giving this girl props/defending her would be the same as if the tables were turned.

No man on this forum is going to laugh at some lady getting conned by some young guy out of her money and time (unless they were sociopaths). You can't convince me that would be the case. Both are equally reprehensible.

Like I said before... go to Girl-Gaf where every guy is basically encouraging every other poster to take advantage of any random girl that they meet.

 

[Forearms]

Read the article in OP... saw the last name... immediately thought of this, and couldn't continue with the thread. My apologies...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vDtdCxGosUQ

 

[LaserBuddha]

I don't think her intent really matters. Like I said earlier, I'm sure if she actually LIKED one of these guys she'd continue to date him. She's really just mastered the art of mass dating. Plenty of people have stupid "rules" when dating like "no more than 5 dates." Maybe she just felt that if she didn't like the guy by date 5 nothing was going to happen.

No, she made the 5 date rule in order to maximize the amount she could milk from the guy without letting it go far enough to get messy when she dumped them. She's going out with the intent to get a nice dinner for free, not with the intent to find a relationship (or even a fling, anything not based on a free meal ticket). Misrepresenting her intent is how her little game works. This whole thing wouldn't work if she was honest about it. Intent is everything in dating.

 

[Takuan]

That's incredibly sly. I didn't read the full-text article, but it didn't say in the OP snippet whether or not she'd met her "match" (hur hur!) through the website.

I... don't really have a problem with this. It's a relatively harmless social experiment. It's exploitative, sure, but nothing incredibly offensive. Females milk guys all the time; that she made a system out of it doesn't really bother me, because every girl who fits this sort of profile has her own system.

On the other hand, last night I read about a silly Russian girl who put up a website for the purpose of establishing a "serious relationship" with a man - for $40,000 a month (paraphrased, she was looking for a man who could fully value her company). Now, there's a whole lot of misogynist filth I can spew about that. Not that it matters at all, but she looked like a European pornstar with botox'd lips.

 

[jorma]

Does that make me a bad person? Rationally I understand that she's manipulative and I even confessed that she is indeed being a bitch to these men... what made me 'happy' was seeing men on this board Rage at her when given the same situation with a man, they'd be giving him internet high-fives.

Again, I know I shouldn't take joy in their rage, but I don't want to be anything but truthful here.

*shrug* i dont know. I just found the double standard a bit odd, considering how much you like to throw the word "misogyny" around. And then we get treated with "at least she's not one of those fratboys exploiting women who want a serious relationship". I think she is exactly like one of those.

I'm not actually that concerned with the actions of either this girl or the imaginary frat boys, more with the double standard you are applying.

 

[Angry Fork]

Like I said before... go to Girl-Gaf where every guy is basically encouraging every other poster to take advantage of any random girl that they meet.

I'll check out the thread but I don't believe this to be the majority at all and it can't be construed as such. I don't believe the majority of men/women would be okay with doing what this girl did. They would feel something in their gut telling them it's not right to play people like this for nothing more than greed.

 

[brucewaynegretzky]

No, she made the 5 date rule in order to maximize the amount she could milk from the guy without letting it go far enough to get messy when she dumped them. She's going out with the intent to get a nice dinner for free, not with the intent to find a relationship (or even a fling, anything not based on a free meal ticket). Misrepresenting her intent is how her little game works. This whole thing wouldn't work if she was honest about it. Intent is everything in dating.

You seem to be reading into her "intent" though. She's obviously not the "whore" some people here have claimed she is. She's in a relationship now. If she found her boyfriend through her "system" then the ends justify the means as far as I'm concerned. Everyone's dating M.O. is as individualized as a fingerprint. No need to judge.

 

[brucewaynegretzky]

I'll check out the thread but I don't believe this to be the majority at all and it can't be construed as such. I don't believe the majority of men/women would be okay with doing what this girl did. They would feel something in their gut telling them it's not right to play people like this for nothing more than greed.

I was wrong about the title though... meant Dating-Age.

 

[marrec]

The amount of people in this thread giving this girl props/defending her would be the same as if the tables were turned.

No man on this forum is going to laugh at some lady getting conned by some young guy out of her money and time (unless they were sociopaths). You can't convince me that would be the case. Both are equally reprehensible.

I'm not calling you a liar or anything, but I really think you just don't frequent the kind of threads that I do. Even the 'Hertz Girl Gave Me a Ride' thread was littered with evidence of my assumption.

I think you're being a little too generous in saying that if the tables were turned the majority of GAFers would feel very bad for the poor women.

I tend to get over-zealous about this kind of thing and I'm trying very hard to not defend this woman for her actions but those actions aren't out of the ordinary for anyone dating, she's just WAY more honest then most people. And more organized... that's hot.

 

[Takao]

I thought this was going to be similar to that women who had guys buy her food to make her fat and watch it online.

You are not alone.

 

[Steve Youngblood]

No she's just dating more often. She's going out A LOT. But that in itself isn't wrong. I'll tell you right now the first time I go out with a girl I don't PLAN on liking them. I may even go out with them again if I didn't enjoy the first time because I'm not confident about how I feel. This girl seems the same.

It's not that you're obligated to try to like the person. However, you've inferred that her five-date-limit probably isn't as the article is advertising. And that may be true. You may be right. However, the article is clearly framing it to lead you to believe that the five-date limitation is one of not trying to blow the scam. The discussion of keeping spreadsheets further nails that point home.

So, again, are you trying to contend that the article is insincere? Because, I'm certainly open to that possibility. However, you can't spin what's written as not being as bad as it sounds. The words on the paper (or screen as the case may be) clearly paint a picture of a woman who is uninterested in legitimate dating, and instead tell the story of a woman who realized that she could have a fun nightlife free of charge by using men who are eager to pay the tab.

 

[brucewaynegretzky]

It's not that you're obligated to try to like the person. However, you've inferred that her five-date-limit probably isn't as the article is advertising. And that may be true. You may be right. However, the article is clearly framing it to lead you to believe that the five-date limitation is one of not trying to blow the scam. The discussion of keeping spreadsheets further nails that point home.

So, again, are you trying to contend that the article is insincere? Because, I'm certainly open to that possibility. However, you can't spin what's written as not being as bad as it sounds. The words on the paper (or screen as the case may be) clearly paint a picture of a woman who is uninterested in legitimate dating, and instead tell the story of a woman who realized that she could have a fun nightlife free of charge by using men who are eager to pay the tab.

Except it also says she's now found a boyfriend... so she must have been looking for a real relationship at least tangentially.

 

[Pavaloo]

And they say "chivalry is dead." ;D

 

[samus i am]

And they say "chivalry is dead." ;D

I think this proves why it should be.

 

[alex chilton]

There be some bitter people here. I don't know how many dates I've endured just to have sex. Let's not be naive here and think these men were looking for the love of their lives.

 

[Stet]

There be some bitter people here. I don't know how many dates I've endured just to have sex. Let's not be naive here and think these men were looking for the love of their lives.

If you're paying match.com $50 a month, I think you're in it for more than sex. Why wouldn't you just use okcupid or plentyoffish or something free if you wanted sex?

 

[Houston3000]

I did the whole online dating thing in NYC for a while. I didn't have any of these issues though, at least not that I realized. Anytime I went out with a girl more than once we were already hot and heavy by the end of the second date. You'd have to be an idiot to take a girl out to $100 dinners five dates in a row - by the second date there should definitely be something more interesting than dinner going on. This was OKC though, I assume women have a different expectation on that site or maybe I'm just not as big of a sucker as some of the dudes this chick was ripping off.

I actually might rejoin the site, it was pretty fun.

 

[Steve Youngblood]

Except it also says she's now found a boyfriend... so she must have been looking for a real relationship at least tangentially.

It also doesn't tell us that her boyfriend was one of her Match.com marks. Again, the label used on the web page was "MATCH.COM GOLD DIGGER:". You might safely assume that it's a poorly-written article with an agenda to push. However, if you take it at face value, the conclusions you're drawing are just odd to me.

 

[Sho_Nuff82]

There be some bitter people here. I don't know how many dates I've endured just to have sex. Let's not be naive here and think these men were looking for the love of their lives.

I think it's pretty silly if you aren't allowed to paint blatantly gold-digging practices as, you know, gold digging. If you're going to be a man-slut, accept being called a man-slut. If you're going to be selling your company for money, be expected to be called a ho.

 

[Dr. Malik]

I did the whole online dating thing in NYC for a while. I didn't have any of these issues though, at least not that I realized. Anytime I went out with a girl more than once we were already hot and heavy by the end of the second date. You'd have to be an idiot to take a girl out to $100 dinners five dates in a row - by the second date there should definitely be something more interesting than dinner going on. This was OKC though, I assume women have a different expectation on that site or maybe I'm just not as big of a sucker as some of the dudes this chick was ripping off.

I actually might rejoin the site, it was pretty fun.

This too, if nothing is going on by the 3rd date that should raise some red flags

 

[Count Dookkake]

A strange thread, the only winning move is not to post...

WhoreGames

 

[Dreams-Visions]

This too, if nothing is going on by the 3rd date that should raise some red flags

depends on how well she can act. again, when people are doing something TO EAT, they learn how to play the your game effectively.

 

[aktham]

Let her hustle while she looks good and in her prime. She won't be able to do that past 30.

 

[The Elite]

Every potential answer or opinion I could have about this article is potentially misogynistic.

This.

Never pay on the first date guys.

 

[scar tissue]

depends on how well she can act. again, when people are doing something TO EAT, they learn how to play the your game effectively.

I'd really be interested HOW she strung those guys along.
Did she willfully deceit them, by telling them she was molested as a kid or something and thus needs more time to build up trust before getting physical, or were those guys just stupid?
Context is everything here. If she actually got their hopes up (why else would they agree on multiple dates?) she is a horrible person.

And no, a guy lying to a woman about wanting a relationship to fuck her is not the same.
While despicable in its own right, the woman at least doesn't lose money in that scenario.

 

[Aselith]

She's always down for a good

Spoiler

cream

pie chart.

Jesus, man, we get it. Good for you, knowing what a creampie is. You're a big boy.

 

[samus i am]

Let her hustle while she looks good and in her prime. She won't be able to do that past 30.

Women and men get even more desperate after 30.

 

[aktham]

Women and men get even more desperate after 30.

Even the desperate 30+ guys are looking at the 21-29 bracket as the target. Anything above that bracket is less than ideal/settling.

 

[ScOULaris]

Jesus, man, we get it. Good for you, knowing what a creampie is. You're a big boy.

Sorry if I like a nice post-sex pastry, jeez.

 

[diffusionx]

If you're paying match.com $50 a month, I think you're in it for more than sex. Why wouldn't you just use okcupid or plentyoffish or something free if you wanted sex?

$50 a month ain't a lot of money for a working professional.

 

[Stet]

$50 a month ain't a lot of money for a working professional.

I didn't say it was. I said that match.com has a fee for a reason and okcupid and plentyoffish are free for a reason.

 

[Houston3000]

I'd really be interested HOW she strung those guys along.

One of two possibilities:

She's over exaggerating about stringing multiple guys along at a time for 5 dates a piece. There's a LOT of people doing the whole online dating thing in the city, you'd be able to go for a while without using the same guys so many times. Most men would stop seeing her after two dates with nothing but dinner and conversation to motivate them. Either that or it's pretty obvious she was getting dirty on the side with multiple guys at the same time. Basically selling herself for free food, not that she wouldn't be having fun as well but... meh - kind of sad. I've seen my roommate do this, when we first moved to the city, she would get multiple dates from these sites and string them along - but she would also sleep with at least half of them.

 

[pompidu]

I need to move to New York. It seems like the people who have money there just throw it away. Last time I was there I saw a craigslist ad asking for somebody to come over and play Xbox with them because they got the new NBA 2K game and nobody to play it with, and they'd pay that person $50 per hour. Blew my mind.

Had to stop here. That is just really Fucking sad. I feel for that poor soul. Forever alone.

 

[The Elite]

I think if I found out I was dating someone who was doing this the first words out of my mouth would be, "I'm confused. Sorry, but are you some kind of prostitute? Should I have paid you up front? My apologizes, I'm not use to dealing with high class escorts."

 

[-ImaginaryInsider]

Except it also says she's now found a boyfriend... so she must have been looking for a real relationship at least tangentially.

So if a frat-boy lies and cheats his way through 100 women looking for a relationship, that's ok as long he eventually gets married?

 

[Bay Maximus]

It's called stringing someone along, giving them just enough to want more. She obviously did a good enough job with it.

Hey, I get it. Everyone's been taken for a ride at least once in their life. But if these men are this naive/hard up, she did them a favor. As they say, "A fool and his money are soon parted"

If the men are looking for a long-term relationship, they might not be looking to hit that early, bro. If they're looking only for some action, then I agree with you. But if they wanted a relationship it's not unusual at all to wait longer. As such, I'm not sure what life lesson you'd expect them to learn here other than not dating chicks met on the internet. Especially if she was good at her deceit. (if she was deceitful at all)

I have no beef with meeting people on the internet or even one person paying for the whole date. But date's aren't some dichotomy of dining or sex. After the first date or two of feeding this woman's face (and not in the way they obviously want to), wouldn't they think to do something different? Roller skating, delightful walk through the park, bookstore/coffeeshop, Redbox movie date, a trip to the beach/pool. These men are saps and they need to learn to stop banging their head against the wall. They should thank her.

 

[evil solrac v3.0]

Hey, she's the one who's playing the game so tell that to her. I'm merely explaining what the situation is.



Actually that's a large part of exactly what it entails.

no, it doesn't. that's just rich, stuck-up hoes from downtown Manhattan.

 

[ThisWreckage]

Dating, in a fucked up sort of way, resembles prostitution in a lot of cases.

 

[brucewaynegretzky]

Dating, in a fucked up sort of way, resembles prostitution in a lot of cases.

This. Highlighting one example does not make that example any worse than most.

 

[-ImaginaryInsider]

I think there is a certain contingent of GAF that would defend cancer just to be contrary.

 

[Takuan]

Dating, in a fucked up sort of way, resembles prostitution in a lot of cases.

It only resembles prostitution when the primary goal is for sex. If you're actually looking for a serious partner, you aren't only looking for a good nut.

 

[Phonomezer]

Very shitty thing to do, she shouldn't be living outside of her means in the first place.

 

[subversus]

I met women like her.

 

[IceCold]

Really this is any 20 something. The only difference between her and anybody else dating in NYC is the spreadsheet and the media coverage.

How many people do you know go on 5+ dates a week for the sole purpose of eating?

I know 0.

 

[nib95]

Is she attractive? Anyway, does it make her a vile and bad person, yes. But I doubt this sort of stuff is unique to females. This woman is using guys for food, other guys might use women for sex (with a similar build up, often involving dating, false love etc). Both grand deceptions, but imo the latter is still worse.

In any case, pretty shameful.

 

[ThisWreckage]

It only resembles prostitution when the primary goal is for sex. If you're actually looking for a serious partner, you aren't only looking for a good nut.

Let's be honest, humans are animals. I think at least a good portion are in it for the sex. Especially men.

 

[djtiesto]

I've been on OKCupid for 2 months since getting out of a long-term relationship and it's already been frustrating me... but still, I will only go on a coffee date for a first date. Because if it doesn't work out, you're only out $3.

 

[samus i am]

One of two possibilities:

She's over exaggerating about stringing multiple guys along at a time for 5 dates a piece. There's a LOT of people doing the whole online dating thing in the city, you'd be able to go for a while without using the same guys so many times. Most men would stop seeing her after two dates with nothing but dinner and conversation to motivate them. Either that or it's pretty obvious she was getting dirty on the side with multiple guys at the same time. Basically selling herself for free food, not that she wouldn't be having fun as well but... meh - kind of sad. I've seen my roommate do this, when we first moved to the city, she would get multiple dates from these sites and string them along - but she would also sleep with at least half of them.

Both of those scenarios are exactly like real dating. Which is why I don't see a real problem with this. She is mostly acting like any other 20 year old in the dating scene.