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Woman uses Match.com to feed herself
- Thread starter Captain Sparrow
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Angry Fork
Member
For me evil isn't just about being a dictator/torturing people or something. She relished in taking advantage of someone else's good will, knowing these guys are likely there for a serious encounter and possible long term thing. It's definitely sociopath mentality to exploit and harm other people for your own enjoyment and/or greed. And I wouldn't want to date any girl who'd be willing to do that on a regular basis.
I don't believe the majority of women would be willing to 'milk guys for all their worth'. If you believe that then how can you NOT be a misogynist? I'd have nothing but contempt for someone who was okay with such acts. Unless you thought personal greed was more important (or moral) than how you treat another person, in which case this wouldn't seem so bad. However I can only imagine this being okay to the most staunch capitalists/objectivists.
Count Dookkake
Member
S/he was acting like 'evil' doesn't exist in degrees.
The rebuttal to my last post was amusing. "Blah blah blah, oh I guess you are right."
Good for one free White Knighting.
The rebuttal to my last post was amusing. "Blah blah blah, oh I guess you are right."
Good for one free White Knighting.
Captain Sparrow
Banned
I think there are multiple issues at hand here. Here is my take as to why this is worse than a guy trying to get sex:
- She lives in a very expensive city and wants to live above her means
- She knowingly deceives guys. Not just once either, up to 5 times. She's absolutely being 100% fake with them each and every time.
- Her roommate sees no problem in this and is doing it too. They have a spreadsheet, treating these guys like projects.
- She has no immediate need to do this. Food is one thing. Expensive food and drinks in return for nothing is downright rude.
Bad things about a guy trying to get sex:
- Leads girl on, pretending he wants more.
I think what frustrates everyone more than anything, is spoiled good-looking women. They want equal rights when convenient. Many of them feel entitled to everything because no one ever says no to them. They don't have to work as hard, and don't have as hard of a time finding jobs. A pretty woman has zero problem finding a guy to give into her every command.
- She lives in a very expensive city and wants to live above her means
- She knowingly deceives guys. Not just once either, up to 5 times. She's absolutely being 100% fake with them each and every time.
- Her roommate sees no problem in this and is doing it too. They have a spreadsheet, treating these guys like projects.
- She has no immediate need to do this. Food is one thing. Expensive food and drinks in return for nothing is downright rude.
Bad things about a guy trying to get sex:
- Leads girl on, pretending he wants more.
I think what frustrates everyone more than anything, is spoiled good-looking women. They want equal rights when convenient. Many of them feel entitled to everything because no one ever says no to them. They don't have to work as hard, and don't have as hard of a time finding jobs. A pretty woman has zero problem finding a guy to give into her every command.
Sure, some of that may be true, but once they have a job they don't make as much as men and people don't treat them seriously. Just pointing that out.
I don't believe all women are this way, but rather a significant enough portion of the female population is this way, and it isn't frowned upon for women to effectively use as a means men to live the lifestyle they want. I absolutely disagree with this in principle, but have to acknowledge the reality and regularity with which it happens. The intention of my posts in here was simply to point out that worse cases of exploitation of men by women that (female?) society is fine with and that's what's really objectionable.
I still thought what she did was relatively harmless, until I considered the roommate scenario - which Dookkake is right to call me out on. I'm still impressed by it all, for some reason.
I think the problem lies in the fact that a lot of women nowadays are well aware of their attractiveness and the fact that most guys, on some level, want to fuck them. I see this exploitative mentality arising from another mentality that essentially goes, "Hey, if all you want is sex, I'm going to do everything in my power to use you for my own desires and withhold as long as I want."
Pretty women do have it easier when they're young, and definitely are exposed to more opportunities (and potential dangers in the form of predators). However, by the time their looks completely fade, they've spent such a significant portion of their lives in a completely altered reality that they aren't able to cope with the changes. It'll be interesting to see what becomes of Kim Kardashian when no one cares to see her naked anymore. But hey, I'll gladly enjoy her while she's hot.
ryutaro's mama
Member
Serious question marrec, were you raised by a single mother?
Syph Medwes
Member
Yup, this whole thread is a trap.
Yep, I realize it may have given me a different perspective than many others. It's not as if I didn't have male influences in my life, just never had a father figure worth a shit.
She doesn't know this yet, but she's currently dating a Freegan. Once they're married, he'll spring his Freegan lifestyle on her and she'll have to learn about a whole different way to eat dinner for free.
The proportion of people defending her is exactly equal to the portion of people in society that are worthless scum.
Bay Maximus
Banned
ryutaro's mama
Member
ALL THOSE YEARS OF THERAPY FOR THIS!!!
Might be, it could also be observing the kind of language that men exchange regarding women every single day of my life. It could be my Fiancee, who's strong and independent and has told me to my face 'I will punch a fucking deer to death. It would take like, 2 minutes.' I feel like there are armchair feminists everywhere who think because they like Joss Whedon and have an Equality Now sticker on their Prius they suddenly understand the repercussions of gender bias in our society, and not enough people out there who are actively trying to make a difference.
I don't believe for a second I'm making a difference on GAF, don't get me wrong, it's just an extension.
In return for nothing. That's the mistake - the guys go in expecting to get something out of this, like it's some kind of business transaction. If a girl likes you and is into you she's going to be fine with going pretty much anywhere that isn't dangerous or a complete shithole (and there are some who will go for that, too). I've never seen it happen where throwing money at a girl will get you anything other than walked on and used.
ryutaro's mama
Member
Responding to the bolded.
At the risk of derailing this thread (which I don't want to) I'll say that maybe it could be that when you are raised by one parent (male or female) you are taught to (and thereby identify) more with the sex that raises you. In your case, it was your mother. She can only operate from the female perspective (as a man can only from the perspective of a man) so her views and opinions are going to contain a certain degree of bias, that you will no doubt inherit some or all of.
You saying that your father figures "weren't shit" has you in the mindset to harbor a grievance with your father, which then gets translated onto other men and circumstances regarding them. It makes you hyper sensitive to themes and discussions that may view women in a less than favorable (in your opinion) light.
It's not your fault, it would be a similar issue in the opposite direction if, say you were raised by your father without your mother. You might have gravitated towards the male perspective, primarily instead.
Yup, generally true - except when it comes to younger girls or less well off girls for whom the luxuries money can buy are a completely new thing. I mean, see the high school guy I referenced earlier who is marrying the definition of a gold digger. It goes both ways, though... I'm pretty sure he's cheated on her in the past. :lol
I'm not exactly sure how to respond to this, but I'll give it a shot.
I'm not sure that there is an inherent bias instilled in someone by the parent (in a single parent household) who raises you. I spent many formative years with my biological father who, without getting into too many details, was complete trash without ever being overtly misogynist towards women.
I can't project my loathing for my father to other males because I loath him for very specific reasons that don't project well. In my view, I have a perspective that most people don't because my Mother selflessly and tirelessly raised 4 kids while working two jobs in the middle of shit-hole Eastern New Mexico. It taught me that women can be just as strong and independent as men and that most men can't be as open or communicative as women. It's not because men don't have the capability, they just don't feel that need mostly.
It's not about a male or female parental figure forcing their views on me, but you may have a point when you say it's because of my Mother. She raised me with a belief in the American Dream that isn't predicated on what sex you are or who socio-economic standing you come from. I can only try to emulate and extend that kind of strength into my everyday life and pass it on to my Son.
I knew I could count on X26 to prove my point. She's not a prostitute because she has dinner with men, I think you're confused about what a prostitute does. This woman is a manipulative user who doesn't have enough care about other humans, but labeling her a Prostitute doesn't make her any worse than countless men who do the same thing to women everyday of the week without being called out on it.
ryutaro's mama
Member
To tie this sidebar up, for the record, I never said or implied it was forced.
I was saying that being raised with one parent (regardless the gender) would likely gravitate you towards the worldview of that sex, because it was what you were exclusively exposed to.
And to build on what I said before, you are hyper sensitive to critiques about women because you hold your mother high regard (as you should based on your story).
akachan ningen
Member
Those guys are idiots.
beelzebozo
Jealous Bastard
she sucks, but unless she is an aphroditic machiavelli they should have known after the first or second date that she was totally bogus. maybe this teaches them a lesson about what someone who is a genuine, real, feeling human being looks like.
in short, this is how i feel.
in short, this is how i feel.
Real talk. Sure it's fucked up, but
thousands of chicks probably do this
entremet
Member
For expecting to find a prospective partner on a dating site?
I live in NYC and there's a lot of young high rollers, so I don't pity them, but I don't see why you anyone would consider them dumb. It's a dating site!
I would potentially agree, but the potential circumstances keep me from definitely doing so.
What? They can't do it but it's not because they can't do it?
PigSpeakers
Member
Dear 5 girls on Neogaf,
I am an attractive suitor with lots of nice plaid and flannel shirts. I play music and stuff. Please feed me as I really like food a lot and it would be awesome if we could go out and eat. It doesn't have to be fancy, I'm not a hard man to please. I also have a lot of video games. Women love the video games, right?
With much love,
PigSpeakers
P.S. I have a beard.
I am an attractive suitor with lots of nice plaid and flannel shirts. I play music and stuff. Please feed me as I really like food a lot and it would be awesome if we could go out and eat. It doesn't have to be fancy, I'm not a hard man to please. I also have a lot of video games. Women love the video games, right?
With much love,
PigSpeakers
P.S. I have a beard.
So....
She was 'dating' in bad faith just like any number of other people and in and of itself it isn't all THAT bad.
She traded on her romantic desirability in order to produce an income. Let's not treat it as anything else, she did it to save money on food every month. She organized and tracked the information in a spreadsheet. Yeah, I'm thinking she's starting to push past the average of asshole behaviour here.
She needed to subsidize a 45k a year income with this in order to meet an unrealistic lifestyle expectation. Now I see her as a shallow and vapid individual, not a plus but I hear New York is filled with this type.
The order and industriousness to which she applied herself in this endeavour is what bothers me the most.
She was 'dating' in bad faith just like any number of other people and in and of itself it isn't all THAT bad.
She traded on her romantic desirability in order to produce an income. Let's not treat it as anything else, she did it to save money on food every month. She organized and tracked the information in a spreadsheet. Yeah, I'm thinking she's starting to push past the average of asshole behaviour here.
She needed to subsidize a 45k a year income with this in order to meet an unrealistic lifestyle expectation. Now I see her as a shallow and vapid individual, not a plus but I hear New York is filled with this type.
The order and industriousness to which she applied herself in this endeavour is what bothers me the most.
POWERSPHERE
Member
So that is what she's doing with her life. Congrats.
-ImaginaryInsider
Member
It breaks down into two easy to digest points:
(1) Men using women is wrong, women using men is wrong, but sorta ok because men use women which is actually wrong.
(2) Men can/can't communicate because our Josh Whedon edition Prius bumper-stickers aren't armchair feminist enough to punch a deer to death.
seems pretty silly to me.
She is just a con woman , worse than a prositute because at least with one of those you know your going to get screwed and they are upfront about it .
jim-jam bongs
Member
To play devil's advocate, how is she a con-artist? Unless she made it seem like the guy picking up the cheque was going to lead to hanky-panky, all she promised was a date. I don't condone her behaviour at all, but as someone who has gone on my share of online dates I can't help but think that the guys let themselves get played because they're too quick to flash their cash in an effort to impress.
She doesn't take a person on a single date . She takes them up to 5. She lets them get emotionaly invested in her before she runs away onto the next con.
I have no problems if she went on a first date with 20 guys and found them lacking mabye even a few guys multiple times , but she had everything planned out and tracked everything like they were marks.
blame space
Banned
my beard is better than pigspeakers's
No a prostitute is actually upfront about what your getting
jim-jam bongs
Member
You could argue that placing a restriction on how many dates she'd go on demonstrates that she was trying to avoid having them become too invested. Also, the guys didn't need to say "yes" to another date with her.
I dunno, really don't condone the behaviour as I said, but I do think that the guys need to bear a bit of the responsibility for how easily she played them.
-ImaginaryInsider
Member
It was actually 3 roommates, they pooled their resources to maximize the amount of money they took from each guy, and kept track of each guy separately. It's implied that both the 5 day rule and the public meeting rule was put into effect to keep the guys from figuring out that they were being used solely for food. It's also likely they they passed former victims around within their little group.
It was every bit a con job.
PigSpeakers
Member
That's a dirty lie and you know it.
(It's probably true. My beard isn't full on the sides yet.)
5 dates is alot. Anyone in that postion would think that things were going well. Its not like they went on a date and she did a call back for a second one and then left the guy. Two dates your still in that phase of not knowing how its going. But come on , getting asked on 5 dates ? By that point the guy is thinking that things are going really well and there is a chance that things are going to keep going.
The girls knew this and so they played it right up to the wire , I also bet that they went in so deep because the food / places would get better .
The guys didn't need to say yes , but its not like she went on the date and said nothing and just ate. She obviously flirted with them and laughed and acted like it was a real date. The point of Match.com is to find your soul mate or a gf . Not to just go on a date and eat food .
I wonder all those people high-fiving this woman or thinking she did nothing wrong would objkect to me dating a girl for a long periof of time, sleeping with her, letting her catch emotions, lead her on into thinking i was looking for commitment and make her waste the best years of her life just because i liked fuckingher. barring timescale differences i see very little difference. In both cases it's deceitful.
Not all, true, However i don't think women want it to be completely equal. How manygirls do you know would like to pay for their dates? Or have the fear of losing half their money in divorce? losing the kids? Alimoney? I could go at it all day.
I keep people saying this and I don't get it. How are the guys idiots? They signed up for this site and pay money. So we have to assume they are genuinely interested in meeting women and carrying a relationship. Not in it just for the sex. She used this is as a game. So even if a guy could have known after the 1s, 2nd, 3rd, or 4th date they obviously they didn't figure it out and its most likely because they were interested in having a relationship with her AND she perfected the game for her own use. They would be idiots if she was dumb and made it obvious on the first date.
The fact she fooled so many guys for so many dates only means that she was damn good at tricking these guys and good at leading them on.
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