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[God Dayumm]

Easiest way to stop that from happening is ask them their standards for men. Dollars to donuts their requirements are mostly things that don't affect the quality of relationships at all. Lots of women at that age and situation confuse frosting for cake.

It could be that. But in this case she was probably shy and not social enough, which is most likely when dealing with depression. I understand the struggle

 

[crazyrabbits]

Very sad. Depression is a very common and tragic thing, regardless of who it affects.

R.I.P.

 

[Suite Pee]

I imagine there was some abuse and/or neglect in this woman's childhood. At least she isn't suffering anymore.

 

[BotoxAgent]

Depression is so fuckin horrible. I know lots of my friends who end up getting married and settling down and they stopped being close friends with me. It definitely bothered and made me feel a bit more alone.

 

[InfiniteBento]

People talking about her being attractive in here as if it has a single thing to do with this subject.

Smdh.

 

[Man Called Aerodynamics]

What does her physical attractiveness have to do with this?

Mental illness obviously doesn't discriminate based on looks. And I don't think anyone is trying to say that the circumstance is more sad because she was good looking. But it just makes it more stark, because you need only glance at her to see that this is someone who could have had her pick of boyfriends. Again, doesn't make the story any more or less tragic.

 

[RockTurtle]

This. Its crazy how I envy their independence and social mobility and travel and disposable income but it always veers to them talking about marriage/kids/being alone.

Easiest way to stop that from happening is ask them their standards for men. Dollars to donuts their requirements are mostly things that don't affect the quality of relationships at all. Lots of women at that age and situation confuse frosting for cake.

the funny thing is I have one friend who IS in a relationship, but she won't get hitched. then tells me she has concerns she won't have kids by so-so age. She's been on a yearly relationship schedule (new year, new relationship) with a new guy everytime and something Always goes wrong. The guy disrespects her someway, the guy seems more distant, the guy doesn't seem as committed as her. her religion has been an issue a couple of times (muslim).

doesn't help things she only seems to attract rich white professional guys, and I guess she got used to that sort of situation.

Yeah. We can't ignore the fact that regardless of how pretty, rich or powerful you are, modern society paints the picture that if you aren't married with children by 32, you are going to die alone and friendless. It's stupid, but that's how things are.

well they themselves mention their biological clock as if it's a counter till death.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

People generally believe that a person who is considered physically attractive has a higher likelihood of finding a partner / mate / spouse, etc. and so people see her photos and comment on how sad it is because they feel it likely wasn't as hopeless as she thought it was. Does that help?

In the context of this story, her physical attractiveness means nothing. She clearly had mental health issues and yet there's posts where the only thing that's worth pointing out is her attractiveness and how sad it is she's dead.

Mental illness obviously doesn't discriminate based on looks. And I don't think anyone is trying to say that the circumstance is more sad because she was good looking. But it just makes it more stark, because you need only glance at her to see that this is someone who could have had her pick of boyfriends. Again, doesn't make the story any more or less tragic.

That's assuming she was a nice person and someone others wanted to date and settle down with.

 

[Man Called Aerodynamics]

That's assuming she was a nice person and someone others wanted to date and settle down with.

Exactly. And none of us can know that part from just seeing a couple of pictures. But we can see how attractive she was, so that's what is going to stick out to people.

 

[Violence Jack]

I used to have a friend just like this. Thankfully, it had a better conclusion than this story. But there are a lot of women who feel like they cannot attract a man after they turn 30. My current fiance was one of them.

It's sad. I wish she would've gotten the help she needed to get past her depression.

 

[321florida]

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/201...d-to-get-married-found-hanged-as-she-struggl/

I find it baffling that a childless, attractive woman can be so worried about it especially when she is only 31. That said people can take rash actions when they are depressed.

She had other things going on. I ain't shit and I could have been married multiple times.

 

[Vastag]

Man, depression can really fuck up your perception of reality. Sad that it ended like this for her.

 

[Crayons]

I hope I won't be 32 and alone with my cat

pls marry me

 

[TheSeks]

I find it baffling that a childless, attractive woman can be so worried about it especially when she is only 31. That said people can take rash actions when they are depressed.

Well, her biological clock was ticking. Isn't the 30's when you start to have a higher risk of pregnancy problems/problems for the child? Or is that when you specifically hit 40? I feel like she felt she wasn't gonna get married or have kids ever at that point and should've just died right then.

Which seems like a huge leap in logic if biologically she could still have kids with no complications until her 40's.

I hope I won't be 32 and alone with my cat

pls marry me

Maybe if you stop doing drugs to the point of blackouts, you'll find someone.</js>

 

[Forerunner]

I never understood the urge to get married and have kids so quickly. It seems like in today&#8217;s society, if you&#8217;re in your 30s and you haven&#8217;t done this you&#8217;re seen as weird. However, I'm thinking this from a male perspective and not a female one, so that's probably the issue.

Still terrible what happened to her, depression is serious issue.

 

[Netherscourge]

Depression sucks.

 

[GillianSeed79]

It may not even be "oh she must have had severe depression or mental illness" because she's so attractive. When you start hitting your thirties, your options for potential mates start to decline dramatically (most people I know either were married or had children by their mid-30s) and if you aren't the best at socializing, don't want to date online, are shy or there just aren't a lot of options where you can meet new people because of where you live then it sucks. The other thing you have to take into account is that - for women especially - the likelihood of complications during pregnancy begin to go up a lot by your mid-30s, so she may have been conscious of that. Plus it fucking sucks when everyone you know is married or has kids, you're still stuck alone AND your boss is a bully.

I found myself in a similar situation two years ago and got severely depressed/had a mid-life crisis. Everyone I knew was married or had kids and my new boss was riding my ass hard for no apparent reason other than he didn't like me. I nearly lost it when I reached out to an old friend I hadn't talked to in a few years for help and they didn't even remember who I was.

By some miracle I hooked up with an old friend from high school I hadn't seen in 17 years and we've been dating for two years now/talking about marriage. I ended up losing my job of 12 years because of my asshole boss (who left for a completely different industry about two or three months after firing me) a year into our relationhisp, If it were not for her I probably would have killed myself. Even then though when when we reconnected, she was estranged from her husband and hand't officially gotten a divorce yet, so technically she too was married. She also suffered a miscarriage while we have been together, partly because she is older and it's not the first time she has had trouble reaching full term pregnancy.

 

[ramparter]

I find it baffling that a childless, attractive woman can be so worried about it especially when she is only 31. That said people can take rash actions when they are depressed.

Mind can be very dangerous unfortunately.

 

[The Faceless Master]

if anything, her attractiveness may make it worse in her mind.

she knows she's hot so why won't some guy marry her? what is wrong with her etc...

 

[Mr. Giggles]

i have a couple of 30+ and near 30 single female friends who mention the fear of being alone or tiredness of being alone at least once every conversation

ditto here.. I feel like part of it is left over expectations from the older generation.

What I mean to say is that, our parents statistically married younger and had kids younger than our generation does....so at 31 when you do the math that your mom had you (+sibling) at the same age plus the fact all your friends are getting married I think starts to lead to feelings or fears of permanent singlehood

 

[Omegasquash]

Depression can strike anyone, regardless of their physical appearance or societal recognition of beauty.

This woman was depressed, and took her own life. I hope that all her friends and family find some way to make it through this time and find peace.

 

[Llyranor]

People generally believe that a person who is considered physically attractive has a higher likelihood of finding a partner / mate / spouse, etc. and so people see her photos and comment on how sad it is because they feel it likely wasn't as hopeless as she thought it was. Does that help?

The sentiment that it is more sad because she was beautiful evokes a certain implication that it wouldn't equally be as sad if she wasn't conventionally physically attractive.

Moreover, her physical appearance being the main thing being brought up in some of those replies is a symptom of a society that places way too much important on physical beauty. A society that probably contributed to her feeling of hopelessness since she was getting to an age where society deems women less attractive.

 

[DOWN]

Surprised this depressing "news" discussion is still going

 

[norm9]

Depression is terrible. Weird she's sending pictures of herself crying though.

 

[Himynameischris]

Damn that's terrible, that really sucks she wasn't able to get help

 

[Jeronimo Jones]

Sad news. It's crazy how strongly culture associates women's worth with marriage/starting a family.

I'm not directly aware of similar cases, but my gf has a group of friends in this age range and the unmarried ones are in various degrees of panic about not being married/having a serious candidate yet. None of them wants to be the last single one. So we are now on the clock.

 

[pablito]

Very sad. Depression is no joke.

RIP

 

[Dicer]

Depression hits anyone regardless of race/sex/size/attractiveness/success whatever...

It's crippling and not easy to deal with...someone can look fine and be crushed on the inside.

For better or worse she escaped it, sadly in the worst way possible.

 

[Galang]

I feel horrible for her. She has my full sympathy. Loneliness mixed with depression is no joke at all. I can completely understand how it can absolutely tear someone apart no matter their life circumstances. It's sad a lot of people will read this and not understand it... you really have to witness it firsthand or go through it to know how deadly depression can be

I never understood the urge to get married and have kids so quickly. It seems like in today&#8217;s society, if you&#8217;re in your 30s and you haven&#8217;t done this you&#8217;re seen as weird. However, I'm thinking this from a male perspective and not a female one, so that's probably the issue.

Still terrible what happened to her, depression is serious issue.

I don't understand it either, but society definitely makes it seem like you're a failure if you're not financially stable, married and working at your dream job by 30. It's really destructive, especially since being 30 doesn't make you old either. You're never too old for anything really

 

[vicissitudes]

This story is a tragedy and of course suicide is never the answer, but come on guys, 31 isn't young for a woman. If she's single, usually you'd want to date someone for at least 1-2 years before getting married. Then it usually takes another year to have a kid if you start right away. So if you meet the perfect guy tomorrow, you're looking at married at 33, starting kids at 34-35. It's really hard to have kids after 35 as all kinds of complications come up. So if she wants multiple kids, even if she meets the perfect guy tomorrow she's cutting it close. And when you've gone 31 years without meeting the right person, and all your friends are getting hitched, you wonder if you're ever going to meet someone. It's easy to get depressed in such a situation.

As a woman you really want to settle down before 30 if having kids is a priority. I'm not saying I like it, it's just the way it is.

 

[Straight Edge]

This story is a tragedy and of course suicide is never the answer, but come on guys, 31 isn't young for a woman. If she's single, usually you'd want to date someone for at least 1-2 years before getting married. Then it usually takes another year to have a kid if you start right away. So if you meet the perfect guy tomorrow, you're looking at married at 33, starting kids at 34-35. It's really hard to have kids after 35 as all kinds of complications come up. So if she wants multiple kids, even if she meets the perfect guy tomorrow she's cutting it close. And when you've gone 31 years without meeting the right person, and all your friends are getting hitched, you wonder if you're ever going to meet someone. It's easy to get depressed in such a situation.

As a woman you really want to settle down before 30 if having kids is a priority. I'm not saying I like it, it's just the way it is.

Women have kids well into 40 and after.

 

[wildfire]

I see the point you're making but she's 31, not 41. She had many years of childbearing age ahead of her. She must have been going through a lot of shit and all of it happening at one time made her do something rash.

FYI women significantly start getting child bearing complications after 35. It's men on average who can go all the way to 40 before facing similar problems.

 

[Mariolee]

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/201...d-to-get-married-found-hanged-as-she-struggl/

I find it baffling that a childless, attractive woman can be so worried about it especially when she is only 31. That said people can take rash actions when they are depressed.

Man Seeking Woman deals exactly with this subject: https://youtu.be/v1K8jmDTiY8

RIP, depression is an awful sickness.

 

[ccbfan]

This story is a tragedy and of course suicide is never the answer, but come on guys, 31 isn't young for a woman. If she's single, usually you'd want to date someone for at least 1-2 years before getting married. Then it usually takes another year to have a kid if you start right away. So if you meet the perfect guy tomorrow, you're looking at married at 33, starting kids at 34-35. It's really hard to have kids after 35 as all kinds of complications come up. So if she wants multiple kids, even if she meets the perfect guy tomorrow she's cutting it close. And when you've gone 31 years without meeting the right person, and all your friends are getting hitched, you wonder if you're ever going to meet someone. It's easy to get depressed in such a situation.

As a woman you really want to settle down before 30 if having kids is a priority. I'm not saying I like it, it's just the way it is.

Yup.

A huge amount of extra test and precautions have to be done when you're pregnant and over 35.

Not to mention fertility is much lower.

Science cures a lot of it but that's expensive and cause side effects.

 

[Steeped in a Sea of Games]

Women have kids well into 40 and after.

And your risk for miscarriage, infertility, and deformities shoots up exponentially as you age. As a general rule of thumb, you really should try to have kids before 35 if you want to minimize those risks the most. There's even some evidence that autism might be linked with kids who have older dads, so it's sort of a two-way street, but not necessarily as bad.

http://www.marchofdimes.org/complications/down-syndrome.aspx

At age 25, the risk of having a baby with Down syndrome is 1 in 1,250.
At age 30, the risk is 1 in 1,000.
At age 35, the risk is 1 in 400.
At age 40, the risk is 1 in 100.
At age 45, the risk is 1 in 30.

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/02/27/h...ildren-of-older-parents-study-finds.html?_r=0

Children born to middle-aged men are more likely than their older siblings to develop any of a range of mental difficulties, including bipolar disorder, autism and schizophrenia, according to the most comprehensive study to date of paternal age and offspring mental health.

Anecdotal, I know, but I personally know at least 5 women who have waited to have kids and now can't and are super depressed about it.

 

[sixteen-bit]

What a title.

dat passive voice

 

[Kadayi]

I think the noteworthy thing is the bullying boss. That's never an easy thing to contend with (I've been there). You go in to a place were you're constantly on edge and then you come home to nothing, knowing you've got the same shit to deal with the following day.

 

[Sabercrusader]

Considering this is a big fear of mine, this strikes home to me. It's sad, because she still had time left and I'm willing to bet she would have gotten her wish of being married sooner or later.

 

[Drahcir]

Yeah. We can't ignore the fact that regardless of how pretty, rich or powerful you are, modern society paints the picture that if you aren't married with children by 32, you are going to die alone and friendless. It's stupid, but that's how things are.

Shit. I'll be 39 this year and still a single guy looking and I can relate to that feeling of wanting to just get married already, but it's such a far off solution. I've always thought suicidal thoughts were just that, thoughts. I would never actually do it, but with that much alcohol in one's system who really knows. Fortunately, I'm not a drinker I suppose.

 

[Sho_Nuff82]

I know several women in that age range who are getting close to that mindset. The recent delay of marriage and family due to delayed financial stability hurts women a lot more than it hurts men. Guys can figure their shit out at 35 and still have a happy, productive dating and family life.

Man Seeking Woman deals exactly with this subject: https://youtu.be/v1K8jmDTiY8

RIP, depression is an awful sickness.

Um, holy shit. I need to watch this show now.

I feel horrible for her. She has my full sympathy. Loneliness mixed with depression is no joke at all. I can completely understand how it can absolutely tear someone apart no matter their life circumstances. It's sad a lot of people will read this and not understand it... you really have to witness it firsthand or go through it to know how deadly depression can be



I don't understand it either, but society definitely makes it seem like you're a failure if you're not financially stable, married and working at your dream job by 30. It's really destructive, especially since being 30 doesn't make you old either. You're never too old for anything really

Except a) having kids or b) dating people in your age range.

 

[John Kowalski]

I hope I won't be 32 and alone with my cat

pls marry me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ma7lyfYzIw8

 

[metalmonstar]

This is really sad. I wonder why her friends didn't get her help. The article seems to point out that she did express how she felt. Did they just not know how to help her? That is what I am getting.

 

[3N16MA]

This only gives us a snippet of her life. I would imagine she suffered from depression and multiple factors led her to that point.

 

[Beardz]

Stop saying "oh god she was beautiful" being depressed to the point of suicide is a sign that obviously something was not right in her brain.

That could be one of the main reasons why she couldn't be with someone in the first place.

Stop being so shallow ffs.

 

[Krixeus]

This is really sad. I wonder why her friends didn't get her help. The article seems to point out that she did express how she felt. Did they just not know how to help her? That is what I am getting.

That's what I assume as well. It's a shame she wasn't able to get the help she needed before it was too late. R.I.P.

 

[DeathoftheEndless]

Sad. That's a common fear/anxiety for a lot of people. RIP

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

I think people don't realize how leveler an unmarried woman over 30 is deemed an old maid in a lot of people's minds

 

[Miles Quaritch]

I think people don't realize how leveler an unmarried woman over 30 is deemed an old maid in a lot of people's minds

There must be something wrong with her if she still hasn't managed to secure a man is the gist of what most people seem think about 30+ single women.

Add to that the idea that most women over 30 are desperate to settle down and have kids, it's not a rosy picture for women, but at the same time there's plenty of older men who would be happy to date an single 30 something, but then they might not want children as they might have kids from a previous relationship which has its own problems...

 

[void666]

Yes, it's sad... But i wonder what happened to her cat.

 

[vicissitudes]

This is really society's fault, telling women to focus on having a career instead of looking for a husband in her 20s, and putting off having a family. And now we're seeing the negative effects. You can't fight biology.

There was a thread here about a great WSJ article: Young women in college need to smarten up and start hubby-hunting.