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Worst Failed Attempt To Be Hip/Edgy

N-Gage Press Conference at E3 2003

n-gage_publicist.jpg

299_model.jpg


edit: Gotta add one more picture... This shit was painful.

n-gage_games_stupid.jpg
 
http://youtube.com/watch?v=RcP91tQ4ZSM

DK RAP

Here, here, here we go,
So they're finally here performing for you,
If you know the words you can join in too,
Put your hands togeather if you want to clap,
As we take you through this monkey rap,

Huh!!
DK, Donkey Kong!!

He's the leader of the bunch, you know him well,
He's finally back, to kick some tail,
His coconut gun can fire in spurts,
If he shoots ya, it's gunna hurt,
He's bigger, faster and stronger too,
He's the first member of the DK crew!

Huh!!
DK, Donkey Kong!!
DK, Donkey Kong is here!!

This Kong's got style, so listen up dudes,
Shecan shrink in size to suit her mood,
She's quick and nimble when she needs to be,
She can flout through the air and climb up trees,
If you choose her, you'll not choose wrong,
With a skip and a hop, she's one cool Kong!

Huh!!
DK, Donkey Kong!!

He has no style, he has no grace,
This Kong has a funny face,
He can handstand when he needs to,
And stretch his arms out just for you,
Inflate himself just like a baloon,
This crazy Kong just digs this tune!

Huh!!
DK, Donkey Kong!!
DK, Donkey Kong is here!!

He's back again and about time too,
And this time he's in the mood,
He can fly real high with his jetpack on,
With his pistols out he's one tough Kong,
He'll make you smile when he plays his tune,
But Kremlings beware 'cause he's after you!

Huh!!
DK, Donkey Kong!!
Huh!!

Finally he's here, he's here for you,
It's the last member of the DK crew,
This Kong's so strong, it isn't funny,
He'll make a Kremling cry out for mummy,
He can pick up a boulder with relative ease,
Makes crushing rocks seem such a breeze,
He may move slow, he can't jump high,
But this Kong is one heck of a guy!

Huh!!

C'mon Cranky take it to the fridge!

Walnuts, peanuts, pineapple smells,
Grapes, melons, oranges and coconut shells,
Walnuts, peanuts, pineapple smells,
Grapes, melons, oranges and coconut shells,

Oh yeah!!
 
Nick said:
Those dumbass creepy baby Ps3 commercials. Those were the most pretentious, useless commercials I have ever seen.
Click to expand...

I thought those were great. It was probably not a good mass market campaign, but they were entertaining.

Company specific:

Everything Sony has done with the PSP has been horrible in the US at least. Not edgy so much as trying to be trendy and failing. The stuff I have seen out of Europe especially the White PSP ads are even worse.

Those play it loud N64 ads were the saddest thing Nintendo has ever done.

MS has never really done anything ad wise that is all that edgy, outside of that banned ad, which was a great ad. Most of the Jump In stuff was pretty uninspired and useless though.

Gamewise:

Jak 2 as has been mentioned time and time again. The game itself is fine, but they tore all of the charm out of the series with the direction they took.

Pretty much every post Sonic attempt at making a franchise based on an "edgy" fluffy character has failed miserably.

Just about every character in FF8.
 
Captain Glanton said:
Naming a console "Xbox."

1) Sticking "X" onto names, e.g., X-Games, was old when it started.

2) That's not even a damn word.
Click to expand...
Yeah, XBox is a pretty bad name. X is bad, but box? Microsoft can't even chalk it up to some translation-nuance misunderstanding. Box.
 
esbern said:
oh and this one made my penis hurt when i first saw it

candy.jpg
Click to expand...
As John Stewart once said about Hillary Clinton, "that look... is where boners go to die".
In other words, I agree with esbern
 
GilloD said:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=RcP91tQ4ZSM

DK RAP

Here, here, here we go,
So they're finally here performing for you,
If you know the words you can join in too,
Put your hands togeather if you want to clap,
As we take you through this monkey rap,

Huh!!
DK, Donkey Kong!!

He's the leader of the bunch, you know him well,
He's finally back, to kick some tail,
His coconut gun can fire in spurts,
If he shoots ya, it's gunna hurt,
He's bigger, faster and stronger too,
He's the first member of the DK crew!

Huh!!
DK, Donkey Kong!!
DK, Donkey Kong is here!!

This Kong's got style, so listen up dudes,
Shecan shrink in size to suit her mood,
She's quick and nimble when she needs to be,
She can flout through the air and climb up trees,
If you choose her, you'll not choose wrong,
With a skip and a hop, she's one cool Kong!

Huh!!
DK, Donkey Kong!!

He has no style, he has no grace,
This Kong has a funny face,
He can handstand when he needs to,
And stretch his arms out just for you,
Inflate himself just like a baloon,
This crazy Kong just digs this tune!

Huh!!
DK, Donkey Kong!!
DK, Donkey Kong is here!!

He's back again and about time too,
And this time he's in the mood,
He can fly real high with his jetpack on,
With his pistols out he's one tough Kong,
He'll make you smile when he plays his tune,
But Kremlings beware 'cause he's after you!

Huh!!
DK, Donkey Kong!!
Huh!!

Finally he's here, he's here for you,
It's the last member of the DK crew,
This Kong's so strong, it isn't funny,
He'll make a Kremling cry out for mummy,
He can pick up a boulder with relative ease,
Makes crushing rocks seem such a breeze,
He may move slow, he can't jump high,
But this Kong is one heck of a guy!

Huh!!

C'mon Cranky take it to the fridge!

Walnuts, peanuts, pineapple smells,
Grapes, melons, oranges and coconut shells,
Walnuts, peanuts, pineapple smells,
Grapes, melons, oranges and coconut shells,

Oh yeah!!
Click to expand...
DK Rap was awesome, man! And I don't think Rare was exactly being serious with it.
 
Y2Kev said:
Did you buy Daikatana?

The ad actually turned out to be quite apt.
Click to expand...

Yes, I did, for a £5 (Hey I thought it might be worth a go, I still actually have it, boxed, and totally not on my PC, amazing to think that it couldn't manage a decent FPS on a Geforce 6800, it was based on Quake 2 damnit), and I still haven't got it back yet, Romero, I will find you.....
 
Michan said:
gafgb.gif


Every time I see this avatar, I cringe in anticipation of an overly-cute smiley right around the corner.

Am I missing out on the latest
over-used
GAF fad of misleading people with another person's avatar?
Click to expand...
There's some dumb Sony fanboy campaign going on because Kittonwy got banned.
 
This is the story of someone too tough to beat:

1041509599-00.jpg


Is it just me, or were the attempts to be hip less obnoxious in the sixteen bit era than they are today? I mean, sure, they were silly and seem rather camp today, but I still prefer Sonic's "attitude" to this "gangsta" crap today.
 
Captain Glanton said:
Naming a console "Xbox."

1) Sticking "X" onto names, e.g., X-Games, was old when it started.

2) That's not even a damn word.
Click to expand...

Didn't they name it that because it used DirectX? Makes sense to me. *shrugs*
 
Dice Man said:
Didn't they name it that because it used DirectX? Makes sense to me. *shrugs*
Click to expand...
Yeah. Right. I'm sure that's the "technical" reason they named it that.
I'm sure the conversation went more like:
"Okay. So we need a name for this."
"Well, it'll run DirectX, so we can make it a derivative of that."
*stares*
"Like DirectXperience or DirectXion"
*stares*
"Look, Larry, you've been with us for how long?"
"10 years"
"And in those 10 years have we ever used one of your ideas?"
"No."
"Good. Now shut up. It needs to be edgy."
"DirectXBox?"
"Larry! What di- ... Xbox! Brilliant!"
"But I said DIRECTX-"
"Shut up."
 
M3wThr33 said:
Yeah. Right. I'm sure that's the "technical" reason they named it that.
I'm sure the conversation went more like:
"Okay. So we need a name for this."
"Well, it'll run DirectX, so we can make it a derivative of that."
*stares*
"Like DirectXperience or DirectXion"
*stares*
"Look, Larry, you've been with us for how long?"
"10 years"
"And in those 10 years have we ever used one of your ideas?"
"No."
"Good. Now shut up. It needs to be edgy."
"DirectXBox?"
"Larry! What di- ... Xbox! Brilliant!"
"But I said DIRECTX-"
"Shut up."
Click to expand...


:lol
 
Iam Canadian said:
This is the story of someone too tough to beat:

1041509599-00.jpg


Is it just me, or were the attempts to be hip less obnoxious in the sixteen bit era than they are today? I mean, sure, they were silly and seem rather camp today, but I still prefer Sonic's "attitude" to this "gangsta" crap today.
Click to expand...


Kid Chameleon was an awesome game, and you are a bad person.
 
no "steve balmer hopping and tripping and sweating and squealing like a pig to Gloria Estefan (i had to google that just so you know im not gay[not that there's anything wrong with it])".gif yet?
 
Rocky Rodent, Dino-City, Zero the Kamikaze Squirrel, Chester Cheetah, Rascal for PSX (THE WORST), Johnny Bazookatone, Radical Rex, Jazz Jackrabbit, Dinosaurs for Hire (which they're apparently basing the new Jurassic Park movie on), Awesome Possum, Bubba and Squeak, Greendog, Bubsy, Jersey Devil, Gex

Just 2 much attitude, 2 soon
 
Chao said:
I was thinking on playing Jak & Daxter games, but after seeing this I think I'll pass.
Click to expand...

You pass on this game and your a fucking fool

sorry it had to be said .

someone had to snap you back into reality, this game destroys 95% of games out there and no im not exaggerating.
 
Iam Canadian said:
box-l.jpg


I haven't actually played this (thankfully), but I read the back of the box and I literally giggled. It's such a silly paranoid fantasy that tries so desperately to be "cool".
Click to expand...

Getting Up was pretty awesome. Seriously. I really liked it.
 
Lot of good examples in this thread. May I submit the following:

4qge6u8.jpg


(for some reason it took waaaayyy too long to find this)
 
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