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[Allforce]

The introduction to Trevor in GTA5 is him railing some meth addict in his trailer before her man Johnny Klebitz shows up. Tasteful and accurate portrayal of that life

 

[electroshockwave]

Custer's Revenge?

 

[Vincent Grayson]

Does anyone know if the terrible sex scenes in games like Cage's and say, Bioware's are mocapped? If not, maybe that's the issue.

 

[orthodoxy1095]

Yennefer's second one with the animal scenes flashing in. I just died laughing.

 

[Arizato]

Never forget two years worth of semen.

 

[mollipen]

Mass Effect has some pretty bad sex scenes but DA is worse....

I don't know, my Inquisitor rolling around with Sera in bed together naked was pretty awesome.

 

[The Praiseworthy]

Disagree:

Spoiler

both are fade to black scenes, but still

+

Xenosaga trilogy had really good and touching romance scenes.

 

[Stumpokapow]

i remember the day when you left for santa monica

 

[Ketkat]

I don't know, my Inquisitor rolling around with Sera in bed together naked was pretty awesome.

Yeah I felt they were pretty well done in Inquisition

 

[Gnome Scat]

I think the only tasteful one I've ever seen was in Wolfenstein: TNO.

 

[Ralemont]

Does anyone know if the terrible sex scenes in games like Cage's and say, Bioware's are mocapped? If not, maybe that's the issue.

I think Andromeda is the first time Bio's doing mocap.

Bio's sex scenes are actually fine, aside from Origins' underwear stuff.

 

[ShockingAlberto]

I don't think David Cage has ever made a good sex scene. Actually, I'd say he makes some of the worst sex scenes.

And it's not just the sex part, awkward animation and clumsy dialogue included. It's the entire build-up. People have sex because Cage has watched movies in the same way an alien observes people and goes "At approximately five minutes of talking, these two people will want to have the boning time."

Why the fuck would Madison and Ethan have sex at that point? No part of that scene makes any sense! And it's not like it couldn't be fixed, but Cage's natural ability to write the world's worst dialogue combined with introducing sex into a story with more randomness than an SGDQ speedrun john means that nothing ever really makes sense. People don't act like people.

It's like he's trying to chart some middle ground between becoming overwhelmed by urges and having romantic feelings and just falls down on his doorstep trying to start.

 

[King Gilga]

All of them.

The first three words that popped into my head when reading the thread title.

Like someone said though, the type moon ones are something special, like especially bad.

 

[Ultimadrago]

you be the judge

Not sex scenes. Keep Kirito pure.

 

[Mesoian]

Ride to Hell: Retribution - The thread

There can only be one.

 

[RealityCheque]

Press X to thrust.

All of them. Every last one.

My personal favorite crap ones are from Mass Effect. You spend all game trying to improve your relationship with one character then at the pivotal moment, instead of asking them on a date like a normal person would, you just fuck them. Soooooo realistic. On the plus side, it gave us this:

https://youtu.be/cOXR_0wO6GA?t=43

 

[timberger]

Anything from Witcher games.

Only things in those games worse than the combat is the boffing scenes.

 

[Mesoian]

Is there any good one?

Because afair I've been cringing at all of them.

The scenes in the new Wolfenstein were...shockingly, eerily okay.

At least I remember being surprised that they weren't complete garbo.

 

[LeonSPBR]

Ride to Hell: Retribution - The thread

.

 

[molnizzle]

All of them.

eh, some of the sex scenes in Dragon Age: Inquisition are pretty good.

 

[Mr. Poolman]

Disagree:

Ok, I will give you this one, Xenogears makes it out good and tastefully. Forgot about that one.

Sorry, can't agree with Tifa, but that remains because she annoyed the hell out of me.


One could argue that better graphical fidelity has only weakened the developers' skills to accentuate romance?

 

[billythemule]

There hasn't been a good one yet, heck even good kissing scenes are allmost non existant. Stuff is hard to execute properly.

I thought the kissing in Uncharted 4 was done very well. Nate and Elena's chemistry was spot on IMO.

 

[Malreyn]

Spoiler

 

[rdytoroll]

Press X to thrust.

All of them. Every last one.

My personal favorite crap ones are from Mass Effect. You spend all game trying to improve your relationship with one character then at the pivotal moment, instead of asking them on a date like a normal person would, you just fuck them. Soooooo realistic. On the plus side, it gave us this:

https://youtu.be/cOXR_0wO6GA?t=43

Them animations though lmao

 

[Zombegoast]

Cage's is probably the worst. How the hell did the one in Indigo Prophacy happened?

I'm glad I only watched the Anime and read the Manga.

Spoiler

Ignoring the tentacle scene

 

[Ralemont]

My personal favorite crap ones are from Mass Effect. You spend all game trying to improve your relationship with one character then at the pivotal moment, instead of asking them on a date like a normal person would, you just fuck them. Soooooo realistic.

yeah they should really see what good concerts are on the Citadel next weekend while they're heading to Ilos to try and stop an army of machines

 

[Chao]

I have yet to see a game where a sex scene contributes to the story or the gameplay in any significant way.


Wait now that I remember there's this ONE game:

 

[Marvel]

Ride to Hell: Retribution - The thread

Some of Funhaus' best content came from this game.

Lol, first game I thought of.

 

[Lunarwhale]

Metro: Last Lights was bad enough to make me retroactively reconsider whether the first game was as well written as I believed up to that point. Pointless, sexist (welp she fucked him, guess she'll just sit out the last battle now that she's achieved her narrative purpose!), horribly animated. Never thought a sex scene genuinely harmed a game's narrative (beyond being a bit tacky or goofy) until I played Last Light.

 

[CecilRousso]

Was it the scenes in Mass Effect or Dragon Age: Origins that were described by a gaming site as "two refridgerators making out"?

 

[El Odio]

If we're also speaking in terms scenes containing romance I'm gonna have to throw in the ending of Goldeneye. That sweet sweet polygon on polygon kissing.

 

[Steejee]

Indigo popped in my head as soon as I saw the thread title. Definitely a rarity when it actually works.

Wolfenstein is one of the few where it worked well. On the one hand it did seem a bit rapid, but on the other it made perfect sense as a wartime hookup - they both knew they could be dead within a day, so why wouldn't you?

 

[DarkConfidant]

Fahrenheit (out of fucking nowhere!), Heavy Rain (the possibly psychotic dude is bruised and bandaged up, and that's a turn on?!), and probably any God of War game (I don't even want to begin with the amount of problems here).

 

[Taruranto]

Yennefer's second one with the animal scenes flashing in. I just died laughing.

I dunno, Yennefer scenes kinda worked for me because both her and Geralt have a long history together.

Spoiler

Syanna's

scene on other hand was just... everything about it was hilarious bad, to the set-up to the actual execution.

TW1 scenes are terrible of course.

 

[Manu]

Fahrenheit (out of fucking nowhere!), Heavy Rain (the possibly psychotic dude is bruised and bandaged up, and that's a turn on?!), and probably any God of War game (I don't even want to begin with the amount of problems here).

The whorehouse scene in Ghost of Sparta is absolutely hilarious.

 

[BassForever]

Spoiler

This is worst sex scene thread not best sex scene thread

 

[petran79]

this arcade game was accessible to children....saw it in a camping during summer

 

[paragonpro]

I have to agree ff7 was super tasteful. Mass effect 1 isnt too bad either. God of war is super weird, it was a product of the time, but still no way you would see that kind of objectification from santa monica now a day. Wolfenstein the new order was tasteful as well.

 

[roytheone]

Anything from Witcher games.

Only things in those games worse than the combat is the boffing scenes.

I thought the

Spoiler

Shani sex scene

in hearts of stone was VERY well done. One of the best sex scenes I ever saw in a game.

 

[Ric Flair]

Wait, there was implied sex in final fantasy 7?

 

[Ralemont]

Wait, there was implied sex in final fantasy 7?

Ever since it became known the original scene had them waking up in a choco stable together yeah

 

[Reverend Funk]

The god of war 3 sex thing where you had to press the button literally made me feel shame for the entire medium, just awful.

 

[RandomSeed]

It's "OK" in the Witcher games (awkward porking audio, though), but pretty much anything that shows it, looks stupid. Fade to black is much better.

 

[thesonovabeach]

All of them except MGS 3 I guess.

 

[Megalosaro]

They're all pretty bad, in my opinion. The game industry has yet to handle this topic okay.


I kind of like the scene between cloud and tifa towards the end of ffvii though.

 

[dangeraaron10]

Dragon Age Origins did it spectacularly horrible. Inquisition was an improvement, however.

DA:O was an amazing game but those scenes were like watching two mannequins do the dirty and it was embarrassing to watch.

 

[Bigg_Oggy]

I have yet to see a game where a sex scene contributes to the story or the gameplay in any significant way.


Wait now that I remember there's this ONE game:

This was the first one to come to mind when thinking of good ones (or at least thematically appropriate).

 

[Wiseblood]

The first Dragon Age's goofy underwear boning is almost as bad as Ride to Hell Retribution's.

It was pretty funny that Morrigan was actually more covered up wearing underwear than her normal outfit.

 

[Kuro]

God of War games had awful scenes.

 

[eyeball_kid]

The only good romance I've seen in a game is Catherine. The rest are laughably bad. But these people can't even write good dialogue, so expecting them to do anything that remotely passes for intimacy is expecting too much.