Ignatz Mouse
Banned
sarcoa said:
Duuuuuuuuuuude. You win the thread.
-
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Worst thing you said to someone at work?
- Thread starter AmishNazi
- Start date
- Status
Duuuuuuuuuuude. You win the thread.
Confused101
Member
Myself and a very good friend of mine work in the same place and we go to breaks together along with another guy from a different department. I guess we consider him a friend even though we've only seen him outside of work one time for the entire 4 years we've known him.
Anyway, this guy has thousands upon thousands of dollars worth of recording equipment. It's been his lifelong goal to start a studio. I know this because he's been talking about it for 4 years. Now, since he's moved into his new condo with his controlling/demanding wife (just married), his stuff has been lovingly thrown into some random corner because she doesn't like the "noise".
So this guy was complaining the other day about how he can't get his studio together and how he doesn't have the time, etc. Well my friend flips out. He starts saying, "It's not that you don't have the time, it's that you're fucking lazy! You have all the time in the world but you're too lazy to set all that shit back up now that you've moved. What did you do when all your shit was set up at your parents' house? Absolutely dick. You did nothing with it then so what makes you think you'll do anything with it now especially with your wife controlling your every breath? You know why it's not going to happen? Because she's not going to let it happen and you don't have the motivation. You've settled, man. You've settled for this life of subservience to that woman. You might as well sell all that shit to get some more room in that condo 'cause it ain't gonna happen."
I couldn't disagree with a single word of what was said. It must've rang so true with him that he simply got up and left the break area without saying a word. He hasn't talked about his equipment, or his wife since.
Anyway, this guy has thousands upon thousands of dollars worth of recording equipment. It's been his lifelong goal to start a studio. I know this because he's been talking about it for 4 years. Now, since he's moved into his new condo with his controlling/demanding wife (just married), his stuff has been lovingly thrown into some random corner because she doesn't like the "noise".
So this guy was complaining the other day about how he can't get his studio together and how he doesn't have the time, etc. Well my friend flips out. He starts saying, "It's not that you don't have the time, it's that you're fucking lazy! You have all the time in the world but you're too lazy to set all that shit back up now that you've moved. What did you do when all your shit was set up at your parents' house? Absolutely dick. You did nothing with it then so what makes you think you'll do anything with it now especially with your wife controlling your every breath? You know why it's not going to happen? Because she's not going to let it happen and you don't have the motivation. You've settled, man. You've settled for this life of subservience to that woman. You might as well sell all that shit to get some more room in that condo 'cause it ain't gonna happen."
I couldn't disagree with a single word of what was said. It must've rang so true with him that he simply got up and left the break area without saying a word. He hasn't talked about his equipment, or his wife since.
There is this guy that works in my department that thinks he is better/knows more than everyone in the department.
Well, I was told to go to lunch at a certain time so I could get back in time for this person to go to lunch. As I got back I noticed he wasn't going to lunch and I mentioned something about the board, where the time we take lunch and what we are supposed to be doing is written, saying he was supposed to go to lunch.
He goes off on this tirade about how he can go to lunch whenever he is ready, and yadda yadda yadda. I knew this guy had a big head about him, so I proceed to tell him that he is just like everyone else in this department--completely expendable, and that he just needs to shut the hell up and do what the board says. I don't think he was used to a retaliation like that because, for once, he didn't have anything to say and I knew he wouldn't say anything to management because he was disobeying the board.
I can't stand people with that mightier than though attitude. I want to break them in half.
I say quite a bit of smart ass things at work when people ask me stupid questions, but I wouldn't really consider them mean.
Well, I was told to go to lunch at a certain time so I could get back in time for this person to go to lunch. As I got back I noticed he wasn't going to lunch and I mentioned something about the board, where the time we take lunch and what we are supposed to be doing is written, saying he was supposed to go to lunch.
He goes off on this tirade about how he can go to lunch whenever he is ready, and yadda yadda yadda. I knew this guy had a big head about him, so I proceed to tell him that he is just like everyone else in this department--completely expendable, and that he just needs to shut the hell up and do what the board says. I don't think he was used to a retaliation like that because, for once, he didn't have anything to say and I knew he wouldn't say anything to management because he was disobeying the board.
I can't stand people with that mightier than though attitude. I want to break them in half.
I say quite a bit of smart ass things at work when people ask me stupid questions, but I wouldn't really consider them mean.
I haven't said anything cruel to or about my co-workers, but I've been attacked! (Verbally)
I was changing ceiling tiles in a hospital/assisted living home for a few days while working a general maintenance position at the place (I was 16 at the time), and the very last tile to be replaced was in the main lobby outside a room for allergy testing. The tile was way too heavy to lift for some reason, so I moved the ladder and checked what was on top of it from an adjacent tile. There was probably over 30lbs of concrete rubble on that one tile, which had probably led it to crack, leading to the need for a replacement tile. I brought over a wheelbarrow and moved all the rubble into it. Then I lifted the tile, swapped it for a new one, then climbed down the ladder and folded it against the wall. Right then, there was a loud crashing noise and a bunch of cinder blocks smashed through the ceiling right through that tile I'd been changing. If I'd taken 20 seconds longer to change the tile, I'd have been killed.
So having just been working at that spot, I was blamed for whatever happened. My manager came over from the boiler room and screamed at me for about five minutes in front of everyone in the hospital. Everyone was giving me looks of disgust. It was a lot like being that lighting guy Bale screamed at, except I hadn't done anything at all.
After screaming at me for a while, my manager checked what had caused the cinder blocks to fall. There was some sort of air shaft going up three floors to a floor that was under heavy renovations, and some construction workers up there were sweeping debris into the exposed shaft. My manager later quietly apologized to me and the construction guys were all fired by their company for almost killing me. However, I still got dirty looks from all the assisted-living residents for the remaining two months.
I was changing ceiling tiles in a hospital/assisted living home for a few days while working a general maintenance position at the place (I was 16 at the time), and the very last tile to be replaced was in the main lobby outside a room for allergy testing. The tile was way too heavy to lift for some reason, so I moved the ladder and checked what was on top of it from an adjacent tile. There was probably over 30lbs of concrete rubble on that one tile, which had probably led it to crack, leading to the need for a replacement tile. I brought over a wheelbarrow and moved all the rubble into it. Then I lifted the tile, swapped it for a new one, then climbed down the ladder and folded it against the wall. Right then, there was a loud crashing noise and a bunch of cinder blocks smashed through the ceiling right through that tile I'd been changing. If I'd taken 20 seconds longer to change the tile, I'd have been killed.
So having just been working at that spot, I was blamed for whatever happened. My manager came over from the boiler room and screamed at me for about five minutes in front of everyone in the hospital. Everyone was giving me looks of disgust. It was a lot like being that lighting guy Bale screamed at, except I hadn't done anything at all.
After screaming at me for a while, my manager checked what had caused the cinder blocks to fall. There was some sort of air shaft going up three floors to a floor that was under heavy renovations, and some construction workers up there were sweeping debris into the exposed shaft. My manager later quietly apologized to me and the construction guys were all fired by their company for almost killing me. However, I still got dirty looks from all the assisted-living residents for the remaining two months.
Raging Spaniard
If they are Dutch, upright and breathing they are more racist than your favorite player
Man, I have a lot. Mostly its little things that I do often but I get away with them, so I have a rep at work as being the guy who gets away with anything.
For instance, when we got bought by EA we had a suit come in to take questions, I flat out asked in public that EA was doing a horrible job with microtransactions and that they were giving the company a bad rep and what were his thoughts on that....
Long story short, I was asked not to ask questions next time an EA bigwig came :lol
For instance, when we got bought by EA we had a suit come in to take questions, I flat out asked in public that EA was doing a horrible job with microtransactions and that they were giving the company a bad rep and what were his thoughts on that....
Long story short, I was asked not to ask questions next time an EA bigwig came :lol
Bill_the_Butcher
Member
"You aren't going to talk to me like that, come back to my cube 25 minutes or so after you take your xanax."
lilsquinty
Neo Member
sarcoa said:
I chuckled for a second and now i feel horrible....
Burger
Member
Got a few:
Sales Dick "How about you just do it my way and that will be that"
Me: "How about you go fuck yourself"
(He tried to shove me away then and make something of it, I told him if he did that again I'd get him fired for assault... He walked away)
Generally if I have to explain something 2 or 3 times I'll get exasperated and loose my temper a bit.
I was explaining something for the 3rd time and I asked a guy at work "Do you understand?", after doing this and he thought I was having a go and calling him stupid "Why do you always have to talk to people like that, as if they are dumb ?". I explained gently that if you set up 5 jobs, and get it all wrong while having the specifications in front of you and the whole thing explained, then yeah, people might think you are a little thick, and that I had to ask "Do you understand?" because after explaining it 3 times and you still asking the same questions, I seriously need to know if you follow what I'm talking about. I think he's in a mood with me now.
There is a guy here at work who is about 55, he used to be sort of in charge of people but he's gradually let that slip away through having no balls, or people skills. So this dude is supposed to be a sort of production manager, as he doesn't have to report time, or account for anything he does. So because he got fat and lazy, he basically does fuck all, wanders around all day watching people do their jobs, and because he's going deaf, doesn't understand anything anyone says to him. I've told him a number of times to fuck off, get real, and all sorts of shit because he's useless as shit. Sometimes I'll walk past and say "Flat out?" or if he's standing there looking gormless while I talk to someone I'll ask "Did you need something?" and he'll storm off, thinking I'm the one with the problem.
Mostly the people here that are either useless, or I disagree with on a personal level I only interact in a functional manner. Enough communication to get the job done, but no niceties, they are not my friends.
I remember I rang up to work sick once and a sales guy who likes to think he's in charge of shit answered and said "FOR FUCKS SAKE YOU ARE USELESS YOU ARE ALWAYS BLOODY.." I just hung up. He never mentioned it. I remember he called me to his office once to berate me about some shit and I said to him "Listen mate, you are an account manager, you don't pay my wages, so unless you have anything positive to say, shut your fucking trap", he started to respond with "I'm going to have to talk to xxxx about this because this is a big proble..." I just walked out. Who do these people think they are ?
Sales Dick "How about you just do it my way and that will be that"
Me: "How about you go fuck yourself"
(He tried to shove me away then and make something of it, I told him if he did that again I'd get him fired for assault... He walked away)
Generally if I have to explain something 2 or 3 times I'll get exasperated and loose my temper a bit.
I was explaining something for the 3rd time and I asked a guy at work "Do you understand?", after doing this and he thought I was having a go and calling him stupid "Why do you always have to talk to people like that, as if they are dumb ?". I explained gently that if you set up 5 jobs, and get it all wrong while having the specifications in front of you and the whole thing explained, then yeah, people might think you are a little thick, and that I had to ask "Do you understand?" because after explaining it 3 times and you still asking the same questions, I seriously need to know if you follow what I'm talking about. I think he's in a mood with me now.
There is a guy here at work who is about 55, he used to be sort of in charge of people but he's gradually let that slip away through having no balls, or people skills. So this dude is supposed to be a sort of production manager, as he doesn't have to report time, or account for anything he does. So because he got fat and lazy, he basically does fuck all, wanders around all day watching people do their jobs, and because he's going deaf, doesn't understand anything anyone says to him. I've told him a number of times to fuck off, get real, and all sorts of shit because he's useless as shit. Sometimes I'll walk past and say "Flat out?" or if he's standing there looking gormless while I talk to someone I'll ask "Did you need something?" and he'll storm off, thinking I'm the one with the problem.
Mostly the people here that are either useless, or I disagree with on a personal level I only interact in a functional manner. Enough communication to get the job done, but no niceties, they are not my friends.
I remember I rang up to work sick once and a sales guy who likes to think he's in charge of shit answered and said "FOR FUCKS SAKE YOU ARE USELESS YOU ARE ALWAYS BLOODY.." I just hung up. He never mentioned it. I remember he called me to his office once to berate me about some shit and I said to him "Listen mate, you are an account manager, you don't pay my wages, so unless you have anything positive to say, shut your fucking trap", he started to respond with "I'm going to have to talk to xxxx about this because this is a big proble..." I just walked out. Who do these people think they are ?
LaserBuddha
Member
KICK YOUR FUCKING ASS! I want you off the fucking set you prick! No, don't just be sorry, think for one fucking second. What the FUCK are you DOING ? Are you professional or not? Do I fucking walk around and rip down-... No, shut the fuck up Bruce! Do I want - no! No! Don't shut me up. Am I going to walk around and rip your fucking lights down, in the middle of a scene? Then why the fuck are you walking right through? Ah da da dah, like this in the background. What the fuck is it with you? What don't you fucking understand? You got any fucking idea about, hey, it's fucking distracting having somebody walking up behind Bryce in the middle of the fucking scene? Give me a fucking answer! What don't you get about it? Ohhhhh, goooood for you. And how was it? I hope it was fucking good, because it's useless now, isn't it? Fuck-sake man, you're amateur. McG, you got fucking something to say to this prick? Well, somebody should be fucking watching and keeping an eye on him. It's the second time that he doesn't give a FUCK about what is going on in front of the camera, alright? I'm trying to fucking do a scene here, and I am going "Why the fuck is Shane walking in there? What is he doing there?" Do you understand my mind is not in the scene if you're doing that? Stay off the fucking set man. For fuck-sake. Alright, let's go again. Let's not take a fucking minute, let's go again. And have YOU fucking walking in! Can I have Tom put this on please. You're unbelievable, you're un-fucking-believable. Number of times you're strolling-a-fucking around in the background. I've never had a DP behave like this. Ehhh
you don't fucking understand what it's like working with actors, that's what that is. That's what that is man, I'm telling you. I'm not asking, I'm telling you. You wouldn't have done that otherwise. I'M GOING TO FUCKING KICK YOUR FUCKING ASS IF YOU DON'T SHUT FOR A SECOND! ALRIGHT? I'm going to go
Do you want me to fucking go trash your lights? DO YOU WANT ME TO FUCKING TRASH YOUR? Then why are you trashing my scene? You are trashing my scene! You do it one more fucking time and I ain't walking on this set if you're still hired. I'm fucking serious. You're a nice guy. You're a nice guy, but that don't fucking cut it when you're bullshitting and fucking around like this on set. Yeah, you might get it. He doesn't fucking get it. You might. He. Does. Not. Get It. No, I don't need any fucking walking. He needs to stop walking. I ain't the one walking. Let's get Tom and put this back on and let's go again. Seriously man, you and me, we're fucking done professionally. Fucking ass.
Skittleguy
Ring a Bell for me
I made a co-worker cry on multiple occasions by being myself.
Dabookerman
Member
I'm a very patient person so I tend to never get angry and say bad things. But I guess back in Morrisons I told some dude to fuck off and stop pestering me with his religion.
MrPing1000
Member
This thread is hilarious :lol
ScientificNinja
Member
Well, I didn't really 'say' anything, but...
For my final paper in university, I wrote a dissertation/study on the projected impact of the Internet on modern journalism. A large part of my research was based on one of those gaming magazines with all the cheat codes, playguides, etc - and it was edited by an obnoxious fat fucker who sat down the hall from me. Thing is, this is back in the day when GameFAQs was just finding its feet, and he was plagiarising from it wholesale month after month. He was so fucking lazy he even left in all the spellos and the bits of text saying
I told him loads of times that he should stop doing it or he's going to land the company in serious copyright trouble and bring the rest of us down with him; he told me that I'm being high-and-mighty, that he doesn't answer to me, that no pimply kid on the Internet is ever going to realistically sue and that nothing will happen as long as I kept my mouth shut.
There are numerous other things to say about what a rotten human being this guy was. He'd constantly bug people for free shit, he's steal our food, he'd treat people like shit, all while telling everyone what a shining beacon of excellence he is for the company.
Anyway I scored a High Distinction for the paper. I then made two copies - one I left on his desk (which he promptly shredded) and one on my boss' desk. Next week, he was fired.
We threw a party after his ass was out of the premises.
For my final paper in university, I wrote a dissertation/study on the projected impact of the Internet on modern journalism. A large part of my research was based on one of those gaming magazines with all the cheat codes, playguides, etc - and it was edited by an obnoxious fat fucker who sat down the hall from me. Thing is, this is back in the day when GameFAQs was just finding its feet, and he was plagiarising from it wholesale month after month. He was so fucking lazy he even left in all the spellos and the bits of text saying
I told him loads of times that he should stop doing it or he's going to land the company in serious copyright trouble and bring the rest of us down with him; he told me that I'm being high-and-mighty, that he doesn't answer to me, that no pimply kid on the Internet is ever going to realistically sue and that nothing will happen as long as I kept my mouth shut.
There are numerous other things to say about what a rotten human being this guy was. He'd constantly bug people for free shit, he's steal our food, he'd treat people like shit, all while telling everyone what a shining beacon of excellence he is for the company.
Anyway I scored a High Distinction for the paper. I then made two copies - one I left on his desk (which he promptly shredded) and one on my boss' desk. Next week, he was fired.
We threw a party after his ass was out of the premises.
My brother worked in the deli department in a supermarket and during his last 2 weeks he went about telling customers what he thought. Example:
*Woman motions her hand to the cabinet*: Give me some of that
Brother: Some of what?
Woman *annoyed*: The ham.
Brother: *sigh* they're ALL ham
Woman: The LEG ham
Brother: *sigh* they're ALL leg ham
Woman: What happened to good customer service?!
Brother: Good service for good customers
*Woman walks away in a huff*
He always complains about people who can't speak English as well.
Foriegn man *points*: 2 kilo
Brother: Of what?
Man *points aggressively*: 2 kilo
Brother: 2 kilo of what?
Man *continues pointing aggressively*: 2 KILO!
Brother: Of what?
And this continues for a few more rounds until the man walks away flustered.
*Woman motions her hand to the cabinet*: Give me some of that
Brother: Some of what?
Woman *annoyed*: The ham.
Brother: *sigh* they're ALL ham
Woman: The LEG ham
Brother: *sigh* they're ALL leg ham
Woman: What happened to good customer service?!
Brother: Good service for good customers
*Woman walks away in a huff*
He always complains about people who can't speak English as well.
Foriegn man *points*: 2 kilo
Brother: Of what?
Man *points aggressively*: 2 kilo
Brother: 2 kilo of what?
Man *continues pointing aggressively*: 2 KILO!
Brother: Of what?
And this continues for a few more rounds until the man walks away flustered.
WrathOfOtaibah
Banned
Four co-workers have threatened to kill me on different occasions.
Best way to go about this is to belittle their masculinity. Secure guys would laugh it off or give some shit back (ie, male bonding). Insecure guys, aka the kill, will freak out over it, which only encourages me to say more.
Best way to go about this is to belittle their masculinity. Secure guys would laugh it off or give some shit back (ie, male bonding). Insecure guys, aka the kill, will freak out over it, which only encourages me to say more.
gutter_trash
Banned
"go get yourself deported!"
to a foreign co-worker who had no respect towards other co-workers with his awkward sense of sick humor of putting down co-workers in front of others for kicks.
to a foreign co-worker who had no respect towards other co-workers with his awkward sense of sick humor of putting down co-workers in front of others for kicks.
lunarworks
Member
One simple non-verbal thing I did at the office once was amusingly effective.
I was in the lunchroom, and a guy who had been bothering me went to the fridge to get his lunch. I glanced at his juice bottle as he pulled it out of the fridge, making sure he saw me glance at it. He said "What?", and I said "Nothing". I glanced at it again, and he got nervous. "Did you do something to it?" "No, of course not." I glanced at it again, and he poured it down the drain.
Had I actually done anything to it? Hell no, I'm not a freak.
The other thing that worked on this guy, and got him to stop bugging me, was to frequently silently walk up behind him, and stand there until he turned around and jumped in fright.
I was in the lunchroom, and a guy who had been bothering me went to the fridge to get his lunch. I glanced at his juice bottle as he pulled it out of the fridge, making sure he saw me glance at it. He said "What?", and I said "Nothing". I glanced at it again, and he got nervous. "Did you do something to it?" "No, of course not." I glanced at it again, and he poured it down the drain.
Had I actually done anything to it? Hell no, I'm not a freak.
The other thing that worked on this guy, and got him to stop bugging me, was to frequently silently walk up behind him, and stand there until he turned around and jumped in fright.
DeathbyVolcano
Banned
Some of you people are mean 
I have a few instances at the bookstore I work at.
I was working registers and floor with this other guy late at night, about an hour before we closed for the night. Nobody really in the store anymore, just us walking around doing are busy work. So once we all got done, we went to front and just sorta chilled at the registers and started talking with one of the store managers. Real cool guys, all of us having a funny conversation, real chill atmosphere.
They're both homosexual, by the way. Open about it, everyone at the store knows and is quite alright with it.
You should know before I say this that before this, I had been hanging out with a group of kids who were perfectly okay with using the word "fag." I was at first a little hesitant because I was never raised to use language like that, but it soon became apart of my vocabulary, not even in the very literal and vulgar sense that it's usually linked to. Just stuff like "Don't be such a fag," or the quick "faggot" retort. I don't use it anymore, I don't condone it.
So back to us talking at the registers, we're laughing, etc. A girl accompanied by a very obviously gay man comes up and nervously asks the younger coworker of mine something that I couldn't make out, but I could tell it delt with trying to get her friend to hang out with my coworker. They walked out looking embarrassed, and my coworker looks at us and just said "Well that was extremely awkward."
Without thinking, I was just all "Yeah, wow, what a fag."
Blank stares.
"...Oh shit, I'm so so sorry."
They were a little cold to me for the next couple of days, but I think they got over it. I apologized a few times, I felt horrible about it. Both are very active in gay rights, and I felt awful for saying that to them.
But hey, at least they don't have AIDS.
oh shi-
I have a few instances at the bookstore I work at.
I was working registers and floor with this other guy late at night, about an hour before we closed for the night. Nobody really in the store anymore, just us walking around doing are busy work. So once we all got done, we went to front and just sorta chilled at the registers and started talking with one of the store managers. Real cool guys, all of us having a funny conversation, real chill atmosphere.
They're both homosexual, by the way. Open about it, everyone at the store knows and is quite alright with it.
You should know before I say this that before this, I had been hanging out with a group of kids who were perfectly okay with using the word "fag." I was at first a little hesitant because I was never raised to use language like that, but it soon became apart of my vocabulary, not even in the very literal and vulgar sense that it's usually linked to. Just stuff like "Don't be such a fag," or the quick "faggot" retort. I don't use it anymore, I don't condone it.
So back to us talking at the registers, we're laughing, etc. A girl accompanied by a very obviously gay man comes up and nervously asks the younger coworker of mine something that I couldn't make out, but I could tell it delt with trying to get her friend to hang out with my coworker. They walked out looking embarrassed, and my coworker looks at us and just said "Well that was extremely awkward."
Without thinking, I was just all "Yeah, wow, what a fag."
Blank stares.
"...Oh shit, I'm so so sorry."
They were a little cold to me for the next couple of days, but I think they got over it. I apologized a few times, I felt horrible about it. Both are very active in gay rights, and I felt awful for saying that to them.
But hey, at least they don't have AIDS.
oh shi-
BladeWorker
Member
"You look like a hobo."
It's a real professional office.:lol
It's a real professional office.:lol
My first job ever, this summer. I was a dish washer, and this one waitress was particularly bitchy. I was swamped (lunch guy never showed, they called me in 2 hours late). She had nothing to do.
Me: Hey, can you bring that stuff back here from up front please?
Her: No.
Me: Why?
Her: Not my job, do it yourself.
Me: Eat a dick.
Later that night.
Her: Hey, can you help me clean some of the tables?
Me: Why? I'm just about to leave/
Her: Well, it won't take you long at all...
Me: Not my job.
Her (and I quote): FUCK YOU, HELP ME OUT! I WOULD HELP YOU IF YOU EVER NEEDED IT!!
Me: ...
Then I left. Apparently she got really mad and spilled sauce all over the floor. She had to clean it up.
Me: Hey, can you bring that stuff back here from up front please?
Her: No.
Me: Why?
Her: Not my job, do it yourself.
Me: Eat a dick.
Later that night.
Her: Hey, can you help me clean some of the tables?
Me: Why? I'm just about to leave/
Her: Well, it won't take you long at all...
Me: Not my job.
Her (and I quote): FUCK YOU, HELP ME OUT! I WOULD HELP YOU IF YOU EVER NEEDED IT!!
Me: ...
Then I left. Apparently she got really mad and spilled sauce all over the floor. She had to clean it up.
BakedPigeon
Banned
I worked as an AOL cancel account associate years back and our job required us to stoop to any depth to try and "save" an account for a dying company.
Anyways I was talking to a fellow on the phone who was set aon canceling the account and earlier in the call he mentioned he uses the internet to read news, politics, and similar things. In a desperate attempt I told him that AOL had a fox news relationship and he could read insider information. He exploded on me and said "Fox news? Shut your fucking mouth and cancel my goddam account you fucking republican piece of shit!!!".
I have a whole treasure trove of great stories from a couple years on the job.
Anyways I was talking to a fellow on the phone who was set aon canceling the account and earlier in the call he mentioned he uses the internet to read news, politics, and similar things. In a desperate attempt I told him that AOL had a fox news relationship and he could read insider information. He exploded on me and said "Fox news? Shut your fucking mouth and cancel my goddam account you fucking republican piece of shit!!!".
I have a whole treasure trove of great stories from a couple years on the job.
bumpkin
Member
Oh boy, fun thread. I've actually got a nugget so share on this one. 
Back in 2002-ish, I was working full-time as a web developer for a design agency in the greater Los Angeles area. Anyway, the owners of the company were buddy, buddy with a lot of people in high places. One of these people happened to be Vin Scully, otherwise known as "the voice of the LA Dodgers." Though the guy never actually came to the office, I gather that the owners had been to Dodgers games with really good seats more than once. Well at one point, Vin's son Kevin was looking for a job, and the owners hired him as a production manager/scheduler. The thing is, he was nothing short of a boob.
Most mornings it was routine for me to wander into the area where the designers were and have some morning chit-chat with them. This one particular morning I was feeling especially spiteful -- I had been having a rough week and was super irritated with some impromptu changes to my schedule -- and Kevin became the unfortunate victim.
He happened to come wandering into the room when I was in there chatting and he was looking through the cabinets in a slow and kind of confused manner... Like he'd lost a sock or something but thought it was hidden on him. Without even blinking, I turn to him and I say, "what's up, Kevin? You're looking more vacant than usual." I heard all three of the designers make that snorting, throaty laugh stifle noise. Kevin just shrugged and said, "nothing much" and went back to his office. He pretty much didn't talk to me the rest of the week. :lol
Weeks later, me and the other programmer decided it'd be funny to put a wav file of the "what would you say you do here?" line from Office Space as his Windows startup sound. I have no idea if he heard it and what/if his reaction was, but we all thought it was funny.
Back in 2002-ish, I was working full-time as a web developer for a design agency in the greater Los Angeles area. Anyway, the owners of the company were buddy, buddy with a lot of people in high places. One of these people happened to be Vin Scully, otherwise known as "the voice of the LA Dodgers." Though the guy never actually came to the office, I gather that the owners had been to Dodgers games with really good seats more than once. Well at one point, Vin's son Kevin was looking for a job, and the owners hired him as a production manager/scheduler. The thing is, he was nothing short of a boob.
Most mornings it was routine for me to wander into the area where the designers were and have some morning chit-chat with them. This one particular morning I was feeling especially spiteful -- I had been having a rough week and was super irritated with some impromptu changes to my schedule -- and Kevin became the unfortunate victim.
He happened to come wandering into the room when I was in there chatting and he was looking through the cabinets in a slow and kind of confused manner... Like he'd lost a sock or something but thought it was hidden on him. Without even blinking, I turn to him and I say, "what's up, Kevin? You're looking more vacant than usual." I heard all three of the designers make that snorting, throaty laugh stifle noise. Kevin just shrugged and said, "nothing much" and went back to his office. He pretty much didn't talk to me the rest of the week. :lol
Weeks later, me and the other programmer decided it'd be funny to put a wav file of the "what would you say you do here?" line from Office Space as his Windows startup sound. I have no idea if he heard it and what/if his reaction was, but we all thought it was funny.
bastionwords
Member
You cunt!
pelicansurf
Needs a Holiday on Gallifrey
Back when I was a teenager and I worked at Red Robin's one of my managers was a butch lesbian and I called her gay to her face all the time. She always replied with "you're gay" and I've said plenty of like rude shit to people at work but usually they know im joking.
Femmeworth
Banned
D: Well, damn.sarcoa said:
Burger
Member
benita316 said:
That's not a lie. That guy is one out of 3 account managers we have here. He USED to be the manager, which is probably why he does the things he does. He has a mustache, works out and is what you would call a workplace bully. He will never admit to being wrong, but if you make a mistake he will make sure you know about it. He's been here since the company started which is probably where he gets most of his superiority complex.
I talk to him the way I do because I am the senior designer here, and know better than to put up with his bullshit. He's not my boss, who I get on quite well with and would never fire me for standing up for myself (but might say "Lets try harder to work together").
Do you need more ?
LaserBuddha
Member
His wife has cancer.
WrathOfOtaibah
Banned
Calcaneus said:
His wife is in a coma...
thesoapster
Member
Hah, since some people included things said/done to them, I have a story that could work.
My workplace for a while involved many pranks (especially on new guys). This died down as a lot of the people left to go find work elsewhere, but the tradition was alive and well for a good many months after I had started there.
I ride motorcycles, and sometimes, I ride my bike into work. One coworker pulled a swift prank on me...they taped a circular cutout picture to my clutch cover. The picture? A black and white photo of men in a shower captioned "Save Water - Take Group Showers". I went for a fairly lengthy ride (including around town) and didn't notice the fucking thing until I got home. Pretty sure no one noticed, though, as it was getting dark.
My workplace for a while involved many pranks (especially on new guys). This died down as a lot of the people left to go find work elsewhere, but the tradition was alive and well for a good many months after I had started there.
I ride motorcycles, and sometimes, I ride my bike into work. One coworker pulled a swift prank on me...they taped a circular cutout picture to my clutch cover. The picture? A black and white photo of men in a shower captioned "Save Water - Take Group Showers". I went for a fairly lengthy ride (including around town) and didn't notice the fucking thing until I got home. Pretty sure no one noticed, though, as it was getting dark.
I almost got in a fight with one of my coworkers in the frozen department. I was pretty new at the place, never was actually trained to do jack shit. Basically, whenever something didn't get done, whether someone else was there or suppose to be working with me, the blame was placed on me.
Meanwhile, the Dairy manager's son was the person that was suppose to be working with me, him being at least 21 at the time. Since hes the managers son, he never got in trouble for coming in late or anything like that. So after about a week or two straight of me taking shit for product not being out, due to his lateness, I call him out. I had enough, he was 2 or 3 hours late (I only worked 4 hours, and he was scheduled to leave when I was), and reaked of pot (which wasn't unusual). He proceeded to yell, trying to say I didnt do anything (meanwhile, I did everything a 16 year old, barely trained person could do, which was me working my ass off).
He had no argument, and customers in the store were coming up to me and saying how much of an asshole he was. Store manager agreed with me (I was pretty well liked heh), but of course nothing was ever really done.
Meanwhile, the Dairy manager's son was the person that was suppose to be working with me, him being at least 21 at the time. Since hes the managers son, he never got in trouble for coming in late or anything like that. So after about a week or two straight of me taking shit for product not being out, due to his lateness, I call him out. I had enough, he was 2 or 3 hours late (I only worked 4 hours, and he was scheduled to leave when I was), and reaked of pot (which wasn't unusual). He proceeded to yell, trying to say I didnt do anything (meanwhile, I did everything a 16 year old, barely trained person could do, which was me working my ass off).
He had no argument, and customers in the store were coming up to me and saying how much of an asshole he was. Store manager agreed with me (I was pretty well liked heh), but of course nothing was ever really done.
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