• Hey Guest. Check out your NeoGAF Wrapped 2025 results here!

Your favourite reviews of all time

for a game called Go!Go!Nippon

3,207.8 hrs on record
Cheaper than a trip to japan, and you can find pure love,
at home,
in front of your monitor,
in 2D form...

what am i doing with my life
Click to expand...

NOTHING can beat that :D
 
Lords of Shadow 2 on Steam.

97ez7gW.png
 
Adam Sessler's The Last of Us review. It's articulate and insightful from start to finish.

"Like the foliage that asserts itself over brick and steel, the mindless drive to exist becomes its own zombification".
 
http://www.thesixthaxis.com/2008/06/18/metal-gear-solid-4/

The hype surrounding the game was already unbelievable, but this one review is the creme de la creme, the cherry on the icing on the cake, the...something, something.

To review such a game is simply impossible. Not a single person lives or will ever live that is worthy of playing, experiencing Metal Gear Solid 4, let alone review it and any attempt to do so is a falsum and flawed by nature. And yet, by some miracle somehow I found myself happening upon the privilege of playing it, it was a strange and wonderful experience. Like shagging a super model, all the while you cannot shake the feeling of shame and guilt, the feeling that this should not be happening, that you are not worthy, that she is too good for you, but damn it if you are not going to enjoy it for as long it is going to last anyway.
Click to expand...
 
Lockjaw333 said:
I loved almost all of Sessler's reviews on Rev3. That was my go-to for keeping up with the gaming scene for a while, but once he left he went downhill fast.

Any idea where Sessler is now???
Click to expand...

He has his own video game consulting company now...
seems to be pretty common under reviewers who were recurring guests in the early days of gametrailers bonus round. N'Gai Croal did the same.
 
angry joe's destiny review.

I'm not big on angry joe in general, and "angry shtick" has gotten a bit old for me, but this review so accurately described the problems with the game and his anger actually felt real.
 
Along with my recommendations page prior, I would like to give a shout out to the most excellent 'One Sentence' reviews at SomethingAwful.
 
crazyrabbits said:
I've always loved the longform pieces that explain exactly why a game is flawed or doesn't work.

Insert Credit's review of Metroid Fusion goes into really good detail about the linearity crippling the game.



The liveblog/review Mother, May I See Metroid: Other M pretty much takes every argument about the game and shoots it down with logic and point-by-point refutations.



Also, Eurogamer's review of Uncharted 3 has always been a favorite of mine.
Click to expand...


Thanks for the Other M link. enjoying the read immensely even as I'm wondering how any of these things made it into the final product.
 
For what ever reason, this Greg Kassavin video review has always stuck with me. I remember not really knowing too much about this game, as i was kind of checking out of the Resident Evil franchise at that point. And i was the only person i knew who had a Gamecube. So this glowing review, me owning a Gamecube, and me and one friend getting really excited for this game because of this video review. Also all the other crazy positive reviews at the time. The music in the review is soothing too. Turns out RE4 went on be one of my favorite games of all time. Ive beaten it over 10 times on multiple consoles. I miss Greg Kassavin.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=keNI9d7zFis
 
I'm a big fan of Spoony's Final Fantasy X/X-2/XIII reviews:

spoonyexperiment.com/game-reviews/final-fantasy-series/

Absolutely hilarious, well written, nicely edited, a good way to pass through several hours.

His Ultima 8 and 9 reviews are also great.

AVGNs Bible Games review is what got me into the nerd:
http://cinemassacre.com/2006/12/25/bible-games/

As you can see I love reviews that rant about awful games(ffx isn't as awful). If you're into that I recommend tennings. It's a shame his channel didn't take off:

http://m.youtube.com/user/Tennings
 
Gerstmann's Wind Waker review, mostly just because of his hair. Legendary.

His MGS and Twilight Princess reviews are his actual best, though.
 
X-play did a review of RPG Maker 3 many years ago. I loved the story of Styx's Dennis DeYoung and the main character named Bob Muffin. I just want to see the review again. I've spent so many years searching for it...

If anyone finds it anywhere, please PM me.
 
Not a serious review, and I have no idea who wrote this since it's posted in a bunch of places, but still my favorite:

Demon’s Souls is a game that will make you into a man. A scrawny fourteen-year-old, after two hours with this game, will be grooming his muttonchops and ready to ship off on the next boat to fight the Kaiser. If you are already a man, it will make you into some sort of bizarre double-man. What’s that you say? You’re a woman? You don’t want to be a man? Too bad. Too bad. That’s the Demon’s Souls way.
Click to expand...

I’ll tell you what happens in Demon’s Souls when you die. You come back as a ghost with your health capped at half. And when you keep on dying, the alignment of the world turns black and the enemies get harder. That’s right, when you fail in this game, it gets harder. Why? Because **** you is why.
Click to expand...
 
Tim Roger's review of God Hand

Many games feel like work, God Hand among them. However, God Hand also feels like the Best Job Ever. God Hand is usually like being a professional chainsaw-wielding glacier demolisher at a party where the penguins are going to need a lot of ice cubes. Sometimes, however, God Hand is like a phone call from a hallucinating Mike Tyson moments before you’re supposed to kiss the bride.
Click to expand...

For that matter, pretty much any review of God Hand after the game came out. The people who love the game love the game.
 
Eurogamer's review of Professor Layton Vs Phoenix Wright is pretty fun. It's written like a courtroom battle.

"All rise!"

"Your Honour, we are here today to hear the case of Professor Layton vs Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney, two popular 3DS puzzle series brought together for the first time by franchise creators Level-5 and Capcom. We will seek to establish that this collaboration has been both creatively fruitful and rewarding for fans of both."

"Your Honour, as the prosecution team, we wish to assert that this 'game' is nothing more than a cheap cash-in, with little artistic merit, that will annoy fans of either title. We also would like to assert that the defence team smells of wee."

"OBJECTION!"

"Sustained. Prosecution, please refrain from personal attacks, this isn't the comments. Defence, please give us some background to the case."
Click to expand...
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

The greatest video game composition of all time is
2 3
131
875
Games Bookstore replied
IMDb's top 250 rated games of all time
2 3
102
1K
Bojji replied
Resident Evil Requiem currently has the highest user score of all time on Metacritic
Review Hype 
33
667
Deerock71 replied
  • Poll
Do you believe your favorite game of all time is ahead of you or behind you?
2 3
136
1K
cinnamonandgravy replied
your favourite big wangs in video games
47
701
Signalis replied
Top Bottom