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NeoGAF Creative Writing Challenge #85 - "Lurking"

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DumbNameD

Member
Theme - "Lurking"

Word Limit: 2000

Submission Deadline: Wednesday, October 19, 2011 by 11:59 PM Pacific.

Voting begins Thursday, October 20, 2011 and goes until Sunday, October 23, 2011 at 11:59 PM Pacific.

Optional Secondary Objective: Comeuppance - A punishment or fate that someone deserves.

Submission Guidelines:

- One entry per poster.
- All submissions must be written during the time of the challenge.
- Using the topic as the title of your piece is discouraged.
- Keep to the word count!

Voting Guidelines:

- Three votes per voter. Please denote in your voting your 1st (3 pts), 2nd (2 pts), and 3rd (1 pt) place votes.
- Please read all submissions before voting.
- You must vote in order to be eligible to win the challenge.
- When voting ends, the winner gets a collective pat on the back, and starts the new challenge.

NeoGAF Creative Writing Challenge FAQ

Entries:
bakemono - "Hedgewood Manor"
Ashes1396 - “Dagenham Market” or “In a blaze of glory”
John Dunbar - "Duck with a Basket"
FairyD - "A chance"
Sober - "Witness Protection"
Tangent - "Danny’s Dad’s Deep Dark Secret"
Puddles - "I Do Not Find the Hanged Man"
AnkitT - "Like a horse in a cave"
Bootaaay - "Rifle"
Cyan - "That Repute is Not Dead, Which Can Eternal Lie"
DumbNameD - "The Tinkerbell Effect"
Mully - "Army Men"
 

AnkitT

Member
I have some ideas for this one. Maybe i'll take Ashes1396's offer on writing a comedy this time around.
 

kehs

Banned
Gonna try writing something for this one, my brain is exploding with the desire to write something.
 

MrOogieBoogie

BioShock Infinite is like playing some homeless guy's vivid imagination
I can't believe I haven't participated in one of these before. Easily one of the coolest and most interesting topics I've encountered on ANY forum.

Will submit my entry sometime this week.
 

Ashes

Banned
Copernicus said:
Gonna try writing something for this one, my brain is exploding with the desire to write something.

something. anything. This topic is perfect for you.

MrOogieBoogie said:
I can't believe I haven't participated in one of these before. Easily one of the coolest and most interesting topics I've encountered on ANY forum.

Will submit my entry sometime this week.

Careful. Once you gain entry, people become prone to function properly anywhere else... bans all over the place.
 

Irish

Member
Ashes1396 said:
Careful. Once you gain entry, people become prone to function properly anywhere else... bans all over the place.

Speaking of which... WTF HAPPENED TO ZEPH AGAIN!?!?!?
 

Ashes

Banned
AnkitT said:
I have some ideas for this one. Maybe i'll take Ashes1396's offer on writing a comedy this time around.

Aaron was robbed in the last thread.

*runs*

edit: *peeks into thread*

Irish said:
Speaking of which... WTF HAPPENED TO ZEPH AGAIN!?!?!?

Last I heard, he published a book, got rich, and left us poor sods.

*runs again*
 

starsky

Member
In late summer of 1968, Hedgewood Manor crumbled to the ground.
 

Fred had passed it often, on his way to and from the secret base of The Reapers. Just before the small earthquake, he had to retrieve his little brother from the mansion, for the hundred thousandth times.

“Pete! Pete, you mule!”

Fred stowed his bicycle at the gate, shouting in futile to draw the boy out. He walked round and came upon an overgrowth of hedges. The youth burrowed his figure through thick foliage.

“Peter Bauber! Come out here, now!”

He reappeared within the mansion's broken garden, near its forgotten fountain, where a small statue laid torn asunder on the grounds. Fred strode impatiently, brushing past tall weeds that scratched against his calves sharply, sending tiny insects to scamper away from his stomping feet.

The tall windows were layered in grime and dust. Not many were intact. No thanks to Fred and the Reapers. He stepped into the old ballroom hall where colourful painted rocks were scattered on the once polished marble floors. Red was his colour. Blues were Brad’s, greens were Joe’s and yellows were Becky’s.

“Pete!”

Fred made his way irately across the house, underneath quietly clinking chandeliers and past the sweeping staircase. They had been grounded recently, when Pete had done the same thing. Their Ma was expressly against the place altogether. When she found out Pete had been playing alone at the Hedgewood mansion, she had made the sign quickly, kissing her little wooden crucifix frightfully.

Ma had said that it was a place of misfortune and she would say no more about it. Fred frowned as he walked past the salon. Portraits of the Hedgewood family witnessed his frustration deepened. Past the salon was a corridor, it was a long passage that was flanked on both sides by a million of windows. An illusion. One side had actual windows, the other was panelled with mirrors.

The true side faced the inner garden.

Joe had said that was where the Hedgewoods had died. He paused at the threshold of the long hallway. He had heard stories about the place. Fred swallowed audibly and made sure he knew which side was false and which side was real.

“Right side is the real face! Pollenfly, pollenfly, away with sly! I cast this now and you must stay, till safe I am across the way!”

Fred felt foolish for shouting it so loudly. He reproached himself, remembering his age, but inwardly he repeated the old charm until he had crossed the passage safely. He took a deep breath and opened the door to the glass house.

“Pete! Ma'll wring your neck, I swear!”

Life untended had sprouted in strange and chaotic manners in the humid green parlour. Orchids bloomed and died unnoticed, ferns curled and unfurled and twisted around upon themselves – a speckling array of pregnant spirals, some infinitesimal and others, as big as a boy’s head. In the middle was a square pool of fetid water. Gigantic circular lotus leaves covered the surface, layers upon layers playing curtains, hiding the dark waters underneath.

Fred rounded a particularly strong-smelling plant, whose name he didn't know, whose origin he couldn't guess, and found his little brother. He was counting marbles and was fully absorbed. Fred didn't recall Pete had so many marbles, and some were so pretty and so large.

“Hey, lout!”

Pete looked up blankly.

“Let’s go home. It’s getting dark.”

Pete nodded. “Yeah, but I need find that one marble, Red.”

“Only Reapers are allowed to call me by my code name!”

Pete's head was still down, busy. Fred raised his voice.

“Come on, already. Ma will-”

His little brother twisted his face funny. “Since when you listen to Ma, then?”

Fred smacked his brother’s head. “Just come on. This place gives me the creeps. Shouldn't have showed it you.”

Pete pulled away. “You don’t understand. I promised-”

But the day was dying and Fred yanked Pete by his arm.

“Stop it, Fred! We must find it, or they'll get real angry!”

Fred opened the door to the long hallway. The sun was setting. The corridor was illuminated in shades of rust and orange, in fiery amber and black, and the shadows were long and thin and old.

He didn't have the face or the time for protective spells and he led his brother running as if for their very lives. Their footsteps echoed loudly. Windows stood impassively as the two boys blurred their way through. Fred felt his heart thumped violently, his lungs pumping air madly. A few windows to go and Pete suddenly tripped.

Fred yelped. He turned around.

He didn't recall the corridor being that long. But now it seemed to stretch forever into a vanishing point. He felt a cold kind of sickness creeping up. There was something, someone, that was moving towards them. He couldn't tell which side of the wall was real. Beads of perspiration formed on his forehead.

Pete picked himself up and grabbed Fred’s hand. The older brother was transfixed. The younger didn't falter- he dragged, pulled, pushed the both of them over the threshold. Only then he turned around.

There was nothing save the darkening light.

Pete shook Fred and his brother slowly came to. They said nothing as they tore through the mansion. Through the salon and the empty rooms and the entrance hall and the ballroom. Out into the courtyard and out into the dirt-road.
 
-

The sky was strokes of deep violet and dying orange when Pete broke the silence. Fred was pushing his bike quietly.

“Fred.”

“Huh?”

“Can I be a Reaper?”

A flight of evening birds in the distant and they rounded the bend to home. A twinkle of light came on. Da’s reading room. Probably doing the cross-word puzzle.

“Only, promise never to go back there again.”

Pete mulled.

“It’s no use, Red. They don’t like it once you’ve seen them.”

Fred stopped in his tracks and stared at his little brother.

“Did you see them?”

Pete cast his face sideways, before he looked at his brother straight in the eyes.

“All the time.”
 
-

The Reapers held an emergency meeting two days after. Brad brought new funny papers and was promptly elevated to a hero status. Becky was restless, out of guilt of skipping her violin lessons.

“Alright, Reapers!”

“Alright, Red. What’s this meeting for?” Joe replied.

“Grimtooth, I bring a new Reaper.”

Brad chewed a chocolate bar ponderously. “Your brother? Isn’t he a little funny?”

“Quiet, Scimitar!” Becky snapped.

Brad shrugged. “What offering has he brought, then?”

Peter placed the marbles on the table. Some were so beautiful that they looked like real gems. Becky picked a large pearl greedily.

“Witchqueen votes Aye!”

Peter was made a Reaper that day. Forever after, he would be known as Dinged Skull.
 
-

“Red, I’m not sure about this ghost-vanquishing busi-” Witchqueen fidgeted. She brought a dreamcatcher with her, self-made and falling apart.

“Reapers in position!”

They entered in a single line. In, through the cracked windows and through the cobwebbed chambers.

“They said they didn't have faces when they found ‘em.” Scimitar, from the rear.

Becky darted her eyes left and right. It was her first time in the actual house. She'd been to the courtyard before, to throw rocks at the windows, but had never stepped into the threshold.

“Witchqueen, keep up.”

“AYE!” She scrambled back into position, clutching her dreamcatcher tightly.

They walked past the family portraits and saw through the corner of their eyes a painting of four faceless creatures. But when Grimtooth scrutinized it, there was nothing unseemly with the image. And yet, the moment he turned, a chill lurked up his spine nevertheless.

They arrived at the corridor with its two faces. One was real, one was not.

“They said you’ll sink into false life if you mixed it up. You think you’re in the real world, but you’re no longer here. You’re in the mirror world forever.” Scimitar, the fear-mongerer.

The children glanced from one side to the other and back again. Grimtooth gulped and felt for the holy water flask at his pocket. He grasped it urgently, the glass felt cool and reassuring in his fist.

“Ready, Reapers?” Dinged Skull asked.

“Yeah.”

“No.”

“Ready!”

“Guys, I need toilet!”

The Reapers turned and stared at Witchqueen. A moment passed. She made a small twitch with her face, and then squeaked.

“Okay, okay, I’ll hold it. Sheesh.”

Red stepped into the passage without the protective spell. A strange heat rose from the floor and he hesitated. He hoped his brother knew what he was doing. They borrowed the only book about ghost-hunting from the library. But it was fiction. His legs felt like two gangly boneless mush. The floor was warmer and warmer and the soles of his feet felt like burning.

“My feet’s on fire!”

He turned around and saw his friends were gone. Panic swelled inside him, a creature of nails and teeth. He looked around to find something to fight with. Red saw the Reapers suddenly, but they were on the wrong side. They were inside the mirrors!

Then he realised that it was him that was on the wrong side and he spun around in time to see a tall man coming towards him from the other end of the passage. He moved oddly, as if made out of smokes. Red glanced to his side and at the reflection of the reflection world were three letters, “Run”.

But his legs were rooted to the grounds and the strange, horrible, soundless man was coming closer.

All of a sudden, Dinged Skull leapt and smashed the mirror where Mr. Hedgewood’s apparition was at. For a split second the apparition froze before falling to the real world. Screaming like an miniature Viking, Grimtooth sprayed it with holy water. It hissed and spat and contorted horribly. It jerked and snapped and cracked and tore itself apart. It disintegrated into black smokes, sizzling and crackling awfully.

Witchqueen quickly thrusted her dreamcatcher forward, whilst Scimitar took out his Japanese fan and forced the dark wisps into their flimsy trap. It went, slowly and painfully, into Witchqueen’s dreamcatcher, turning its fine threads and beads into a black arrangement of soot and bones. She shook visibly as she held it out.

Dinged Skull looked around and rushed. With another loud smash, he destroyed another window. The real face of where Red was standing. Red’s reflection shimmered uncertainly. Dinged Skull yelled out in panic.

“FREDERICK BAUBER!”

Red snapped. His head was made out of cotton balls and clouds. He had to say something. It was important. But he couldn't remember. Red frowned as he saw his hands flickering out. He was supposed to say…

“This marble I return to you. I keep my words, so you must too. Return me now to the real side. Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.”

He fished out the marble that Witchqueen picked and threw it with all his might against one side of the wall. Truth was, he didn't know which side represented what. It was really hard to tell when you’re in the false side. But it was as good a guess as any. Red closed his eyes and prayed.

The marble impacted upon the surface and the world broke.
 
-

“Red! Red!” Witchqueen shook him.

He groaned. “Fivemominutes.”

The Reapers laughed and sat carelessly under the sun in the courtyard. They gazed at Hedgewood Manor, a mixture of dread and fondness welling up in their hearts. They didn't know it was to be their last adventure there.

The week following brought the first earthquake in a hundred years’ time to the area. In late summer 1968, Hedgewood Manor crumbled to the ground.
 

Ashes

Banned
“Dagenham Market” or “In a blaze of glory”

(1,898 Words)

In the darkness, a smoker throws away a can of petrol. A lit match falls, tossing and turning, all the way to the floor. A line of gaseous liquid catches fire and the blue and yellow fire runs like a race horse up to the front door of a two bedroom family home. The smoker watches the house burn, flicks his fag away, then drives off.


Earlier...


“Fuckin hell man, I've told the old man, put the dog down innit?” Jack said pulling at the lead of a raging bulldog.

“And what did he say,” Alexander asked, thrusting his phone up in the air to get a better recording.

“Cheapskate said: let the dog die in battle. At the end of the day, it's the same fing, 'ee says.”

Alexander stopped walking. “Maybe he doesn't want to put the dog down. Maybe he is putting up a front?”

“You're havin a laugh ain't cha? My old man is a soft soul, but I know his kind well enough. Anyway, this enough to cover yourself for Mcally?”

“I'm not sure. How about you?”

“I ain't gone back to Newham since I got chucked out. Yeah, you weren't to know. Chillax. Nah, I'm an entrepreneur I am. College ain't for me. Gonna find me a job asap.”

…


“Tell me about Dagenham Market?”

“What'dya want to know?” Jack asked. He tightened the laces of his track suit bottom and unzipped the matching Umbro top. “I mean it's your bog standard Sunday market with stalls up and down.”

Max, the bulldog, tugged at his lead, panting, and sniffing the pebbles in the mud stained gravel of the well trodden path.

“Can you talk about class?”

“What class bruv?” Jack said laughing. “Look around, this is as classless as anywhere in the country.”

“Compare it to Westfield Shopping Centre.”

Jack laughed. “Dude, come on. That's a classy joint down in Stratford. Even Gregg's is classy there.”

“It's only a ten minute drive.”

“It ain't the East End though. This is the East End.”

Alexander looked around. A burger van sold burgers, sausage and eggs. A frumpy woman in her forties sold fake Burberry clothes in the stall next to it. A man dressed in combat trousers sold army gear on the other side.

“How do you define the East End?”

“By the people. See that pillock, with the dirty trousers? Doesn't give a shit does he? He's got a baked bean stain down his front. Look at him. And that fifteen year old preggers in a mini? Porky little slut. Chavs. Everyone down here wears fake some-it-or-the-other. Flashing them bangs while being on the dole.”

“I'm from the East End though. Working class, etc”

“Nah, you ain't from a council estate.”

“I am.”

“Well... look at em... look and see how old and sick everyone is. Teeth fallin out. Beautiful people. Know what I mean? Ha ha.”

Alexander ordered a quarter-pounder and waited patiently beside Jack. He wondered whether Jack was playing up to the landscape being described. It was as if a Dickensian play was taking place, and Jack was playing the lead. Every word that came out of Jack's throat, had a 'lovely-jubbly' Jack-the-lad feel to it. Oh if only self deprecating your locality was not as common as a house fly, Alexander thought.

“Would you like ketchup on your chips darling?”

Alexander nodded.

“ 'ere you go. I've given ya some extra chips to fill ya up. Hah. A young man like you needs filling out, if you know what I mean!”

“Thank you,” Alexander said laughing along with the jolly cook.

“That's rarity right there,” Jack said. “Never got free chips in my life.”

“It's not all bad Jack.”

…

“Alright mum, what're you doing here? Alex Mum. Mum Alex.”

“Nice to meet you Alex,” Jack's mum Margaret said.

Alexander was about to reply, when from behind Margaret came a booming voice that said:

“Oi Margaret, I want a word with you.”

Margaret scowled. “What d'you want?”

A lady in her fifties came bowling down. “That fucking dog of yours shit in my garden again.”

“I've told you Michelle. Unless you've got proof, lay of off it.”

“Fuck off. There's only one house on the street with a dog. Keep your fucking dog leashed.”

“Don't tell me to fuck off. Mind your language in front of the kids.”

Michelle's son Adam trotted in behind. “Then don't let your dog shit in our garden. I see that dog again, I'll slice it's fucking balls off.”

“You touch my Max,” Jack said. “And I will fucking stab you in the eye.”

“What the fuck did you say to me boy?” Adam said. He was at least five inches taller. “I thought it wasn't your fucking dog doin somefink wrong. So why the fuck are you getting pissed?”

Alexander paused his recording after the first punch.

When the police came round to ask questions the following Wednesday, they informed Alexander, that Jack had been savagely beaten by a gang of youths outside a pub.

Adam was stabbed a few a days later.

…

“I didn't know what you liked,” Alexander said taking a seat beside Jack's bed at St Mary's Ward, Newham General.

“Ahh. Very few things beat a doner kebab mate. Very few things,” Jack said tucking in.

Alexander said little to nothing. Jack had a lot to say – what was right and wrong; the way things were done in Dagenham; that he had done nothing wrong, and that Adam's family were all 'low life fuckers'.

Alexander looked down at the ECG monitor beside Jack. “Adam is on life support over a dog,” Alexander said despondently.

“No man. Him and his boys beat the shit of me. That's why he was stabbed. I, on the other hand, had the living daylights beat out of me over a dog, allegedly, doing his business in somebody's garden. And he (Adam) isn't on life support. That's just bullshit. He was stabbed in the leg. Kind of like my injuries. Superficial ain't it? Seeing as I'm getting out tomorrow. Looks worse then it is.”

Alexander bit his lip. Jack had purple patches beneath his black eye. Sure, he could walk, but simply eating caused Jack to wince in pain.

“They started it. We ended it.”

“It's over then?”

“Of course it is, mate, 'course it is.”

…

The dog in question, Max, went missing the following week, and was never see alive again. His dog tag arrived in the post, with his balls sealed in a plastic see through bag, smeared in blood.


Later...


“Do you want a fag mate?” Jack asked Alexander. Jack's face half shining in the fire light, and half masked in darkness, a bandage round his head and much of his lower face bruised black and purple, looked monstrous.

Alexander shook his head. “I don't smoke.”

Alexander looked at the house ablaze in front of him and the crowd of people, which included the fire fighters, police and ambulance crews. “Why did you call me?”

“Ain't you writing our story?” he said lighting up.

“Its only an essay. What am I going to learn watching a house being burnt up?”

“This, lad, is the East End - not what the Olympic cameras are gonna see. Well, I guess, both include a bunch of fuckers fighting over scrap,” Jack said laughing at his joke.

“You're crazy Jack. Tell me you had nothing to do with this.”

“I may be crazy Alex, but this had nothing to do with me.”

Alexander focused in on Jack's eyes. Alexander had no great insight; he felt as if he was expected to read the clues there. He had a gut feeling though. Alexander walked away from Jack, frightened by the boy his own age, a boy he knew well enough.

He walked over to the ambulance, where he found Jack's mother, Margaret, overlooking a patient on a portable stretcher. The patient was Adam's mother, who had an oxygen mask on.

Margaret was in tears. “My boys didn't have anything to do with this Michelle. I swear it. This is just-”

Michelle took off her oxygen mask. “I don't believe it was anybody human, We were asleep in our beds, Marge. Don't worry about it. It was probably an iron or a busted tv.”

“I'll promise you, I'll get to the bottom of this. And if it ends up being anybody I know, I'll lie to get em in prison. This is just- I don't have any words.”

“Don't be crazy Marge. I believe you. I really do.”

Alexander could feel the heat of the blaze on his skin. He saw a couple of girls from college recording the blaze on their phones. He saw another girl around his age crying. She had a toddler hovering around her legs with a teddy bear in arms. This was a neighbour, he later found out. Their house caught on fire too.

Alexander picked up a partially burnt up photograph that had been hovering around a patch of grass in front of the fire engine. A young boy beamed up at him. Was that Adam's sibling? He wondered. Or was it Adam himself?

What else would folks sifting through the burnt house find? What must it be like to watch your safe haven go up in smoke in front of your eyes? Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw Adam's father sit on the kerb looking out into the darkness, his back to the bonfire behind him. He was trembling in fear.

When Alexander turned to face him proper, he saw Jack looking at Adam's father too. Alexander caught Jack's eye, before Jack walked off into the night.

Alexander's phone rang. “Hi mum.”

“Where are you Alexander?”

“I'm coming home in a bit mum. Somebody's house got burnt down.”

“Oh my god, are they okay? Do we know them?”

“I'm not sure on both counts.”

“Just get home quick. I've left your dad at the pub.”

“Be there soon mum. I think I need the walk.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Alexander said, his eye catching something shiny near a tree, in front of the police lines. “I think so.”

Alexander tapped a police officer on the back, and pointed towards a metallic tag. The officer sealed up the dog tag. The officer knew the local area well and shared a knowing glance with Alexander.

Alexander then walked up to the man sitting on the kerb alone. He stooped down to the man's eye level and asked: “Would you like a cup of tea?”

The man, who was still shaking, blinked a couple of times, trying to make sense of the question, of the situation, then nodded. “Thank you.”


In front of a house on fire, a young man, sharing a cup of tea, on a kerb, somewhere in the East End of London, unravels in his mind an event that he was a participant of; in trying to unravel what he was a witness to, he seeks resolution in an inner battle which sought to lay some blame on himself. "I'm sorry," he says, before going over the matter again and again.

The End.
 

John Dunbar

correct about everything
Duck with a Basket
(1,900 words)

mwdvdi.png


The Duck in her best blue dress waddled down the dry and sandy road in the warm sunlight. The September air was still hot during the day but winter’s chill had began to creep forth at night. She couldn’t walk very fast on account of the wide flippers of her legs being meant for water and not for dusty country roads. In her long thin arms she carried a bucket, a gray steel one that shone in the sun like silver. She had wanted a wicker basket but could not find one. The bucket was filled to the brim with seashells. They were in many shapes and sizes but uniform in colour, isabelline or beige as the white shores where she had gathered them.

It had taken the Duck all morning to collect them all. It had been difficult because as long as her arms were, they still could not reach the ground and her long neck and pear-like figure made it laborious to bend down far enough to pick up the shells. Many times her bucket had slipped from her hands when she reached down for a new jewel of the shore and she had to start over, until she had placed the bucket down first and then taken each one at a time and dropped them in. When she had filled the bucket in such a way she had to pick it up again, but its flimsy steel handle which now lay against the side of it was difficult to grab with her feathery fingers, and as she waddled closer to get a better grip she knocked it down with her big flippers and had to begin again.

But now it was past noon and she had the bucket full of seashells and she was on the dusty road. Her flippers were not used to such rough terrain, but she waddled on, notwithstanding the small pebbles and sand particles which chafed against her soles. In the horizon ahead where the land met the sky the green earth undulated, marking her destination. She was headed for the hills.

The sun was long past its zenith when the Duck reached them. At the foot of the hills were mounds, green waves on whose crests the grass swayed in the gentle breeze. She reached one of the mounds, its side marked with round windows and a round wooden door. She went to it and knocked softly with her long thin arm, while using the other to press her bucket to her stomach to keep it from falling. She waited patiently until she heard something stir inside. Soon, the door opening slightly ajar, she saw a raccoon in pyjamas with a suspicious look on his face. The Duck extended the bucket gently towards the raccoon, and the racoon stared at the seashells. Then he turned its snout towards the Duck, snarled through his teeth “I don’t want to buy any seashells, you foul fowl!” and slammed the door. She stood still for a moment, uncertain what to do, and then turned around and walked down the path to the next mound.

She once again knocked gently, and then waited. Soon a fox opened the door. Again she presented the bucket, and the fox pointed his quivering nose at the seashells, and then berated the Duck for her unwanted peddling.

Thus she went to every door in every mound, and every time, whether it was by a badger or by a rabbit or by a rat, the reception was the same. After the last door slammed shut to her beak, she still had her bucket full of seashells. Had there been someone to observe the Duck at that moment, it would have been difficult for them to read what the she was feeling from her expression, because her beak could neither smile nor frown, and her little black eyes could neither lit up with joy nor shed tears in sorrow. Her face a calm mask, she turned around and began waddling back the road she came.

The sun was beginning to set on her way back the dusty road, now a thread that ran through the landscape in the gathering dusk, and soon the night overcame her slow pace. She began to see shadows come alive, as if the dark of the night materialised into forms, shapeless and terrible. She heard sounds, noises that resembled voices. Laughter. She quickened her pace as much as she could, swaying from left to right on her flippers and clutching her bucket, but the voices became louder all the time and moved all around her in the dark and finally surrounded her.

She saw a flash in the dark. Teeth in the night. A grin that glowed and growled at her on the road ahead. She stopped and looked around and saw smaller teeth all around her, still in the night, but the big ones on the road approached her, and as they came nearer the shape around them became clearer, as if the shining teeth gave their own light. The matted fur and the yellow eyes of the enormous wolf was now right in front of her.

“Looks like we’re having a feast tonight,” it growled.

There were howls all around her as the Duck stood alone on the dark road. The big wolf looked like it was crouching, preparing to leap at the duck, when its eyes seemed to spot something.

“What’s in the bucket, ducky?” the wolf asked.

The Duck did not answer, and could not have, as the wolf plunged at her with a gnarl, knocking her down on the dusty road. Her bucket fell down and rolled away, all the seashells scattered in the dust. She was on her back, quacking loudly and trying to roll on her feet as her best blue dress soiled with sand and dirt. The wolf was sniffing the shells, and becoming more and more excited, it fell on the ground and began to roll around, its long ragged ears on the shells.

“The ocean!” it growled. “I can hear the ocean!”

All the other wolves ran to the road and joined their leader’s ecstatic cavorting to the symphony of the sea on that dusty road in the night. As the beasts frolicked the Duck had managed to get on her flippers and was waddling away as fast as she could. On her way her flippers struck something hard: her bucket. She struggled to pick it up as fast as she could, a few times kicking it out of her reach, but finally managing to scoop it up. She left the party of brutes behind her in the dark.

*

The Sun rose from the sea, painting the sky and the ocean orange and the clouds black. The white pure sand of the shore was imprinted with a long line of wide prints, a long tail that trailed the Duck as she waddled down the beach. She still wore her best blue dress, the sand and dirt from the road now firmly established in patches all over it. In her hands she held the empty bucket. She was looking for more seashells, but could not find any. The shore was bare, as if some invisible tongue from the ocean had sprang up and licked all the seashells up to its submerged mouth for breakfast, and now the satisfied waves gently lapped against the clear sands.

She waddled around in circles for a moment, as if she was searching for something she had lost. Then she stopped, facing the forest next to the shore. She began the long trek towards it with the warm rays of the morning sun on her back.

In the forest she looked up and seemed to have found what she was looking for. She put down her bucket and opened a pocket on her best blue dress and took out a folded red and white checkered picnic blanket. She spread it on the grass floor of the forest in an oak tree grove.

She found a tall thin stick and began to brandish it at the lower branches of the oak trees laden with acorns. The acorns were plumb and ripe, ready to fall at the smallest poke. The ground was scattered with acorns now, and she used her flippers to move them on the blanket to gather them in a pouch. But when the pile of acorns was ready on the blanket she saw a squirrel on the edge of it. She tilted her head slightly to see what the little creature wanted when it ran on the blanket, grabbed a nut, and ran away. Not bothered with losing a single acorn, the Duck went to one end of the blanket to place all four corners of it on top of the pile to lift it, when she saw more squirrels. A lot more. They ran down from the trees, and she could do nothing but quack and reach out with her long thin arms as the endless stream of squirrels ran off with her acorns, one by one, up the trees and in all the directions of the compass, to hide them for when winter would cover the whole forest with its own white blanket. She waddled back and forth quacking to protect her work, but to no avail. When the squirrels had vanished, she was left with an empty blanket next to her empty bucket.

“Hoot, hoot,” a voice came from the treetops. “Poor duck left with no seashells and no acorns. Hoot hoot.”

The Duck turned her beak to the sky, and on a thick branch of an oak tree sat an old owl ogling down at her with his head tilted and eyes crossed. Rough and tumbled and feathers ruffled, the Owl was not accustomed to being awake at such an hour and seemed ripe and ready to fall down like an acorn himself from the slightest touch.

“I have followed you, dear duck," the owl said with a voice that was devoid of interest but still wise and reassuring. “I have followed you from the shore to the hills and back again. Your dress is dirty, your seashells meant as gifts stolen by wolves, your acorns meant as presents robbed by squirrels. But grief not, dear duck. The squirrels will feed on the acorns all winter, filling their tummies with the fruits of your labour. They will not remember the Duck who gathered them, but their every bite and nibble will be a celebration to this day. The wolves who stole the seashells will not change their cruel ways, but for one night they who are too afraid to dip their paws into the sea could hear the ocean and its breezes and its waves lapping gently against the shore. Your seashells were not lost to wild things when for one night those beasts could be a part of a world they had never known and the forest safe from their savage jaws. Do not lament the fate of your gifts. They found their owners, for the ghastliest beast can be worthy of a gift, as a steel bucket can be a basket just as well as the finest wicker basket. Your work has not been in vain, dear duck, and now it’s time to rest.”

The drowsy owl spread his wings and took flight. The Duck craned her neck to follow with her small black eyes as the nocturnal bird wove its way through the autumn air amidst the trees. She looked down at her blanket and her basket. She was a duck who had done her best.
 

John Dunbar

correct about everything
I finished a bit early this time, and considering the type of the story, I decided to try to illustrate it. However, due to my profound lack of ability, I made one awful drawing and gave up. So this story contains my first and final work as an illustrator.

Also, if a picture is really worth a 1,000 words, I went about 900 over the limit. That one's probably worth more like -20, though.
 

Ashes

Banned
Julian Barnes has won the Man Booker Prize for his novel The Sense of an Ending, having been shortlisted on three previous occasions.

source
 

FairyD

Member
Alright fuck it. I finally did something. I procrastinated all day. It might not make any sense, have any structure, or be very good. But I did it, even it is under a 1000 words. It will be practice for the novel writing challenge in November.

A chance - 871 words

Pacing back and forth, I could not have believed it when the council wanted to hear my words. I knew they would not listen to me, but it was a chance to address the people. There was a faint smell of vanilla and almonds are in the air. It came from the decaying of lignin, a chemical derived from wood, which releases the scent. I was in the central library. Within it was a vast collection of our history. I spent many days and nights in this library. My favourite spot was on the second tier. There was a window looking into the gardens. On a clear day, you could see the start of the southern tunnel. You could traverse all the way to Peru if you follow it. I was there once it was pristine and wild. I always wanted to return. But, to go now, it would only sour nostalgic memories. For thousands of years the humans have infested it. I hated humans. I also admired them. They were beautiful creatures capable of anything. Combined they were capable of anything, yet they squandered everything.

If any of our kind ever crosses the gate our presence would violate the laws we have set. That we have set. Thousands of years ago, we interacted with the humans. They saw us as Gods and we influenced them to no bounds. Towards the end, we pitted them against each other like toys. The younger ones are naïve. They ignore the past with pride. At my age, I should not give a shit. Let them die and suffer. I will be dead soon anyway. I wish I had this attitude when I was younger. I could have been one of the exiles.
I can sympathize with the new ones. They were not here when there were no rules. We did as we pleased. It was during that time that we explored our surroundings and reached our peak. I miss the scrimmages. We were free to use our imaginations and nothing would happen to us. There are still craters out there that I created during a scrimmage with Jaya. The last I heard she went into exile a thousand years ago. It’s funny, you would have thought to have heard stories of her exploits. No one knows where she went. I always admired the exiles. They have the self-control to cross the gates. The others and me cannot, we are weak. I’m still amazed how the rules were made. The humans helped us make them, well only a select few. Zeus was stupid enough to grant a couple humans with our powers. That turned out to be a fuck up.

The assembly doors swing open and Thoth emerged. In a commanding voice, “Xder, your wisdom has been summoned,” said Thoth. Thoth was the liaison between the council and public. He has been the liaison since the beginning. For his diminutive size, no one has ever fucked with him. I always wondered if I could get a cheap shot in. I would probably get my head ripped off like Anubis.
I followed Thoth through the assembly doors. The assembly is comprised of the elder and younger councils, twelve in total. Mohana was staring at me
“The council shall recognize the arrival of Xder,” says Mohana.
“Please make a note of it in the records.”
Mohana was a real bitch, but everyone respected her. I had the pleasure of being her guide in the her early days. She was ambitious and smart. However, she lacked the passion of life. Such was a characteristic of the new ones. There was something missing, they were never content with anything.
“Thoth tells me you need my wisdom,” I said.
“Yes, Xder so nice to see you” said Mohana.
“It’s about rule 34.” The senate tenses up as she mentions it. For many of the elders it is still a taboo subject. Personally, they are stupid as fuck to attempt a change. Pure arrogance, they think they can control everything.
“Should it be repealed?” Shouts Cai.
“Absolutely not, to repeal rule 34 would only bring about disaster. Help me understand why you would want to even attempt this.”
I honestly wanted to know, there was a perspective I was missing. The generation gap was too large for me to ignore. I am cynical, but I am not stupid.
“Xder, we only wanted your opinion.”
They already made the change. We can cross the gate at will. I chuckled. An epiphany hit me. For thousands of years the elders and I isolated ourselves away from the humans. The new ones, they were born in isolation, they were not keeping themselves away from the humans. They were lurking, watching, admiring from a distance. Their passion in life was to break free and interact with the humans, the toys. They wanted a chance to break them just as we did in our youth.
“Thank you for your time council,” I said.
Thoth escorted me out of the assembly and I headed up towards my favourite spot on the second tier. It was there that I sat and closed my eyes. I went to sleep, to dream of the Great War on Earth.
 

Sober

Member
Figured I'd give this a try. Been a while since I wrote anything that wasn't an essay, so I'm a bit rusty.

Witness Protection (1996 words)

“George, how much longer do I have to put up with this? Low profile, it’s not really my cup of tea.”
“Listen, we’re doing this to be safe. Just a while longer.”
“How much longer?”
“Until those dangerous people decide to give up looking for you.”
“Can’t come soon enough.”

I picked at my meal for most of the evening. I was surprised George could cook, or even invited me over. The last couple of times we just met at a coffee shop for our checkups. I wasn’t sure how this whole thing worked. Couldn’t have much of a normal life while keeping my head down.

“C’mon George, it’s been almost a year. You think if they knew where I was, they’d have come for me already.”
“I understand. Just a precaution. You know how my bosses can be. After that, you should be in the all-clear.”
“So is this why I’m over here tonight?”
“Figured you get one last good look at my ugly mug before I go. I still have to finish some paperwork, but to be honest, you seem to be in the all-clear.”
“Good, the weekend was just coming up. Figured I could …”
“Yeah, have fun for a change.” George let out a hearty laugh that I hardly expected. This government agent had always seemed so reserved every other time we met.

“Looks like I won’t be seeing you again, will I, George?”
“Sure hope it doesn’t come to that. You still have my number, just in case right?”
“Yeah.”
“Enjoy your start of your new life Clement … or should I say Clark Debont?”

I gave him a handshake and said goodbye to George as I hopped into my car and headed for home.

On the way back, I thought back to the last year and a half. It wasn’t even a few months before everything went to hell in my life. Maybe I shouldn’t have decided to look for my birth parents. My birth mother had died years ago, survived only by her husband and my half-sister. The reunion wasn’t what I was expecting. Just suspicion that I was after my mother’s stuff after she’d passed away. I told them I didn’t want anything but they kept harassing me. Family, right?

Then there was that night me and Lindsay were out. Seemed like ages ago. Been only what, about sixteen months ago? She got flat out drunk – nothing new for our nights out – but she happened to stumble away into an alley that night. Guess that same night, a Vincent Palatzo decided he wanted to personally make an example out of someone and made us witnesses to the incident. Such the upstanding citizen I was, I called the police and got stuck in the middle of it when they told me that I had I.D.’d a top lieutenant of the mob and the Don’s cousin.

I trusted the police. At least they kept me anonymous from the press but the mob was another matter. They knew everything about me. Next thing I know, my half-sister and her father turned up dead. I wish I could’ve been more broken up about it, or maybe it was the shock. But I hadn’t known them long enough, never mind the bitterness between us. Guess the mob didn’t care. Lindsay dropped everything and moved back home after told her I wasn’t going to be intimidated. I don’t blame her for being scared, nor could I. Probably won’t ever see her again. Then there was my relocation after the trial. I felt good knowing it was me that got him sentenced for execution but in retrospect, maybe I should’ve just kept my mouth shut and forgotten that night. Fortunately I had no one but myself in the crosshairs this time. Everyone I cared about was gone. It was all me, wandering alone in a new city.


======================================================


“Hey hold the door!”

I could hear Mike running frantically for the elevator.

“Hey thanks Clark.”
“No problem, Mike.”
“So … Tuesday … long week, huh?”
“Sure,” as we step out of the elevator, “so … you and Al still go out for drinks after work?”
“Well, well. What’s this Clark? Decided to finally come out of your shell? What happen last night? You get laid?”
“No, but I plan to this weekend.”
“From what I can tell, it might take you a while. I get the impression you might be out of practice.”
“I’ll be fine. This weekend okay?”
“Hey, why not tonight?”
“Just got some things to square away”, I replied. He didn’t need to know anything more than that.

As we turned the corner into the office, I noticed a new receptionist sitting at the front desk.

“Who’s she?”, I asked.
“Beats me … hey Freddie! What’s with the new receptionist?”
“Well, we finally got a replacement ever since Trudy left, God bless her.”
“She seemed to have left in a hurry if I remember correctly”, I pointed out.
“Yeah, family emergency or maybe she won the lottery or something”, as Freddy belted out a laugh, “least she’s a hottie this time”.
“I’m gonna go introduce myself”, I said.
“And here I thought you were afraid of women, Clarke.”
“Fuck you too, Mike”, as I let off a smirk at him.

As I approached the desk, I got a good look at the receptionist. She seemed to look familiar. I could’ve sworn I’ve seen her on the subway or at the park a while ago.

“Hey…”, I said, almost at a loss for words.
“Good morning”, she replied.
“Hi, my name is Clark, from accounting. I’m sure HR or whoever already introduced you but I’d thought I’d say hi, and welcome. It was kinda hell missing a receptionist for half a week.”
She giggled, “Nice to meet you, I’m Andrea.”
“So, where you from?”
“Oh, not from anywhere important, I just moved into the city about a week ago. I guess I was lucky to find this job so soon.”
“Say, I don’t happen to know you do I? You look familiar.”
“I guess I just have one of those faces.”
“Well, I guess I’d better get to work. Guess I’ll see you around, Andrea.”
“Yeah, of course.” She let off a smile.


======================================================


“So the receptionist seems nice.”
“Yeah, she’s new in town too, Mike.”
“Well, that makes it easier than it sounds, I mean, it is unfair but what can you – “
I cut him off, “Please Mike.”
“You’re no fun Clark, I thought you were going to become a bloodhound for the ladies.”
“That doesn’t even make any sense, Mike.”


======================================================


If you’re wondering, nothing really happened with me and Andrea – for a while anyway. I finally found the courage the next day to ask her out and she shot me down. Well, she shot everyone down. Even Mike, but that was a given. Guess it would be awkward dating someone from work.

I met with George a couple of weeks later. He seemed much more reserved and nothing like the man I had dinner with that Monday evening. At least I was “officially” free now.


======================================================


As I walked into the office like any other day, I saw Andrea arguing with a delivery guy. It was getting a bit heated but as I approached them to see what was going on, it was over. The delivery guy bumped into me heading out.

“Watch where you’re going, bub.”

“Well, that wasn’t very friendly”, as I approached Andrea’s desk, “what was that about?”
“Oh nothing. I guess he must be new or something. He lost a package that was supposed to arrive today so I gave him hell for it.”
“My, my, sassy, aren’t we.”
“Well, thank you for being such a gentlemen and arriving to help me.”

Just because she said no didn’t mean we stopped flirting so often. It was usually one of the brighter parts of my day, sneaking in a few moments to talk with Andrea.

“Hey, listen Clark, I know you tried to ask me out a few months ago but …”
“Yeah, what about it?”
“Just that I was kinda new in town so I really wanted to get my bearings before dating; that and work … so ...”
“Okay …”
“Well, I’m asking you out Clark, you know, if you still want to …”
“Yeah, definitely”, I replied at the speed of light.
“How about … lunch on … Saturday, at Carolines? It’s by my apartment…”
“Oh yeah, I know that place. Lunch? Sure, I’ll see you tomorrow then.”
“Tomorrow! Wow, so soon!”
“Guess you must be pretty excited already”, I replied, “to forget tomorrow was Saturday.”
She let out a giggle as I walked to my desk.
“Tomorrow, m’lady!”


======================================================


“Mmm, that was delicious! Here, let me get the bill.”
“Well, as a gentlemen, I believe I should get it.”
“I did ask you out.”
“Touché.”
“Say, Clark, my apartment is …”, she handed the bill our waiter, “…nearby”, she whispered.
“Oh.”
“Wanna come over for some drinks? Maybe chat a bit in … privacy?”
“Seems unorthodox,” I chuckled, “but I like it. Sure, let’s go.”


======================================================


“Your apartment seems pretty … empty for having lived here for a few months,” I asked.
“Yeah, I used to move around a lot - military family. You get used to it. Here.”
“Scotch?”
“Yeah, you can hold your scotch, can’t you?”
“Guess we’ll find out in a bit.”
“I’ll make sure to hold your hair back if it comes to that,” she grinned.

Everything after that I can’t seem to remember. I blacked out. When I came to, I wasn’t in Andrea’s apartment anymore.


======================================================


“Okay, well, he’s your problem now,” I overheard a voice. It sounded like Andrea
“Hehehe, this is gonna be fun,” said another voice. It was a man.

I couldn’t move my arms or legs. I was chained down to a chair. I tried to move, but all I did was rattle the chains. The two voices turned around.

“Well, he’s awake now.” It was Andrea, but with a different … demeanour. Not that semi-ditzy blonde that she was just earlier.
“I usually wait until they’re awake anyway. I want them to take it all in,” the second voice said. He looked familiar … it was the delivery guy that bumped into me the other day!
“Oh, Clark, I see you two have met. His name is Hugo. Hugo, Clark.”
“What is going on!”, I yelled.
“He’s yelling. I think we need a gag. Hugo…”
“Keep your panties on, I got it. No one can hear us here anyway.”
“I suppose you were going to ask what is going on or whatever. A bit cliché, but I guess you have the right to know,” Andrea was saying as she circled me.
“Mr. Palatzo hired me … well, the both of us. Hugo swore he saw you a few months ago at a park or something while doing work for the boss. Hugo here works for him … his boss hired me because of my … expertise.”

Andrea backed off and the continued, “see, the boss got the idea from me that we … play the long game with you, Clement.”
I let off a surprised expression.
“Yeah, be surprised if you want. Anyways, you should be lucky. Hugo wanted to waste you right away. In public. What a dolt,” she laughed.
“Hey!”
“Anyways, just figured I’d point out you got screwed by fate. You almost got away but you didn’t, so I told Mr. Palatzo that you’d drop your guard sooner or later. Sooner, it seems from the situation here. That’s all there is. You know the rest. Have fun with him, Hugo.”

I tried to let off a scream but to no avail.

“This is gonna hurt a lot”, said Hugo, as he picked up a crowbar and raised it above his head.

He was right, this was going to hu---
 

Tangent

Member
"Danny’s Dad’s Deep Dark Secret" (1209 words)

Nico was practically held his breath as he sat on the edge of his small chair in Circle, listening to Miss Sterman read aloud Danny the Champion of the World.

“Ok class, now we’re gonna take turns reading a half page,” instructed Miss Sterman. She scanned the circle and said, “Let’s go counter-clockwise” and motioned the direction with her finger. She added, “Starting with Tyson.”

Tyson straightened himself on his seat. With a halting, monotone speech pattern, and jittery movements with his finger scanning the words across the page, he read three paragraphs. Alisa was next. She read quite fluently, and used different voices for Daniel’s dad and “Doc” Spencer. Lily was third. She considered herself a very good reader and grew impatient with the slow pace of the class. She tried to prove herself by reading extra fast, as she supposed adults would. Sometimes though, she tripped over the words. Nico was bothered by this as much as the dust mites on his hand. None of the different reading styles could take away from Roald Dahl’s captivating story. What would happen if Danny and his father were caught by the landlord, Mr. Victor Hazell? That’s all Nico was concerned about.

Raul began reading. Nico would be next. Nico tried to tune out Raul even though Raul was reading such a juicy part of the story. But Nico’s need to prepare for his half of the page was even greater than his anticipation for knowing what would happen to Danny. Nico scanned the page haphazardly with with Raul jabbering in the background.

“But on that day my stomach was so jumpy I couldn’t eat one mouthful. I expect yours feels like that now,” finished Raul.

Nico was up.

Nico examined the letters on the page. He squinted, hoping to transform the random scribbles into something recognizable – anything really, that had meaning, and that symbolized sound. This concept of squiggles dictating sounds always seemed so strange and arbitrary to him. Though at this point in his life, he had learned to just accept it, like how boys were taught to pitch overhand and girls taught to pitch underhand in PE.

Nico started mumbling to himself, thinking that maybe he could tear through his bottom half of the page by being entirely unintelligible, just as he claimed “bad handwriting” as an excuse for his scores on spelling tests.

“I can’t hear him,” Carmen whined, mostly to herself – it seemed – but also to be the one to point out that Nico was inaudible. Miss Sterman waited patiently.

Nico coughed. Okay, Plan B. Nico’s face began to feel feverish, and dampness spread across his shirt between his shoulder blades and under his arms.

“Maybe I can pretend to be thinking of a thoughtful comment to share with the class about what Raul just read,” Nico thought desperately, even though he had tuned Raul out. Planning a pensive expression, Raul began to gaze into the middle of nowhere. But he caught Cody in the corner of his eye. Cody was staring at Raul point blank – square in the face!

He knows! He knows everything! This was it. If Cody knew Nico was dyslexic, then everybody would know that Nico was dumb. Shitpants.

“If only I rehearsed this part of the book last night,” Nico thought. He was so pissed at himself for slipping up. Carelessness. But it was too late. They all knew he was dyslexic and too stupid to enjoy a good book. Too stupid to even like reading circle. Too stupid to be in this class. Maybe they all thought, too stupid to be in a class taught by Miss Sterman…who, really, one must have wondered what she made of Nico. Of course, Nico was a good actor, and an extraordinary memorizer with years of experience, and so Miss Sterman didn’t have the slightest suspicion of anything.

Nico sprung out of his circle time chair, hurling it backwards. He stormed towards Cody’s beanbag, and towered over Cody.

“What are YOU looking at?” started Nico. “Huh?” Nico’s breathing was completely absent as he pushed Cody out of his beanbag and onto the rug.

“Nico, out to the side room,” ordered Miss Sterman immediately, and coolly. “Chloe, please go over to the side room with Nico until he can return to our group safely.” Of course, she said this statement so that Nico, and the others, could hear. As if Nico was a deranged idiot with rabies.

As Nico sulked to the side room, he could hear Cody defending himself to Miss. Sterman, even though Miss Sterman didn’t blame Cody for anything. The door of the side room was shut behind him by Chloe, the teacher’s assistant.

Great. Stuck in the side room with Chloe. Enforced study hour. Grudgingly, Nico plunked into the seat at the half-hexagonal table. Chloe folded her arms. Why did she want to be a teacher, anyway? For her deep love of children? It didn’t make sense.

“What was that all about, Nico?” she began interrogating, quietly and controllably. Nico stared at the blank table in front of him.

“Huh?” Chloe said a bit more loudly.

“I mean, who do you think you are, tough guy?” asked Chloe rhetorically, but ironically, also demanding an answer. Nico folded his arms on the table and rested his forehead on his interlaced fingers. He squeezed his eyes shut but it was too late. The tears were already coming out. They cascaded silently down Nico’s face, following the curvature of his nose, which was barely touching the cold surface of the table. As he created a circle of steam under his face, he wondered what sort of mindless worksheets Chloe would place in front of him on the table. Nico didn’t look up, but he couldn’t hear what Chloe was doing either. Silence filled the cold room.

“So you don’t like reading, huh? You even don’t care that Miss Sterman is sharing a classic with you guys?” asked Chloe.

“Frikkin’ entitled rich kids,” she muttered under her breath. The fact, of course, was that Nico not only cared for reading, he loved it. That is, under the surface. Nobody would find out he liked books. He couldn’t let anyone find out how stupid he was. So what was there to do? He’d be the bully and pay the consequences. It was better than the alternative.

“Well, buddy, looks like you’re not reading, and now you’re not talking,” said Chloe contemptuously. “It’s your lucky day then. You’re in here, with me, for the rest of the hour. And you know what you’re going to get? I’m going to read the whole…rest… of…the…chapter to you,” she explained maliciously.

“What?” thought Nico to himself. He furrowed his eyebrows but the rest of his body remained still. Chloe pulled up a chair next to his prepubescent hunched-over torso. Although Nico’s tears still trickled out, he secretly smiled to himself. Nobody would see that smile. Not Cody, not anyone.

Chloe began reading from her copy with a stressed, dry voice. “Do you know what this is, Danny? This is the most colossal and extraordinary poaching job anyone has ever been on in the history of the world! ...don’t go on it about dad. It only makes me more jumpy…”

*
*
*
END
*
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After you've read this, if it's not clear how this story relates to the prompt,
it's the love for books & stories that's LURKING under the surface of Nico's personality, even though he's a "tough bully" on the surface.
 

Puddles

Banned
This is based on characters from a novel I'm working on, but I made up a different scenario (they don't get kicked out in the novel), and the writing is totally different (the novel isn't in first-person perspective, for example). The conversation in this story actually takes place over several chapters in the book. But I thought the characters really fit the theme, so I went with it.

I Do Not Find the Hanged Man

In the darkness, something is thrashing beside me. As I snap into awareness, I realize it’s Maria in the bed beside me. She’s having the nightmare again. Crying out. Choking. I shake her.

“Maria!”

“Help me!” she cries. “I’m drowning!” She’s coughing, clawing at her throat.

I shake her again, harder. “Maria, wake up!”

She snaps out of the dream, hair flying about her face, half-breathing, half-sobbing, still trying to force something out of her throat.

“Maria, you’re okay! It was the dream again. You’re okay!”

“Oh my god…” Maria buries her face in her hands. “Did I wake you up? How loud was I?”

“You probably woke up everyone,” I tell her. “Let’s just hope nothing could hear you from the street.”

Creeping from the bed, I move to the window and peer out into the night. Nothing outside. Nothing I can see anyway. If anything heard Maria, it might not have pinpointed our exact location. If anything did, we’ll know soon enough.

Somewhere in that darkness, maybe a quarter mile away, I hear a rattle of machine gun fire. Then screaming.

Sleep doesn’t come easily tonight.



A few of the others are glaring at us the next morning. I don’t blame them. We haven’t exactly made the best impression. Maria excuses herself to the bathroom, which is basically a mirror and a waste-bucket at this point. No running water anywhere.

As I take a cigarette from the pack on the counter, a grizzled man comes up to me. George Potter, the leader of the group. Gray of hair and gaunt, you can tell that he used to be a big man; his skin sags as though it had once contained two of him. He’s diminished now, as we all are.

“Listen,” he says, “This isn't going to work out. We were happy to take you in. No one wanted to turn away a young man with his little lady. But we can’t keep you around if she keeps waking up screaming every night.”

“She wasn’t screaming.”

“Choking, whatever. One of these nights, something out there is going to hear her. It’s going to come for her, and that means it’s going to find us. I wish you all the best. For both your sakes, whatever bad dreams she’s having, you need to put a stop to it. You don't have to leave now, but we can't have you here tonight. I'm sorry."



Maria emerges from the bathroom, still looking like a mess. She glances around, sees the obvious discomfort in the room. One of the men turns his back to her and starts cleaning a revolver on the table. I motion to her to come with me to the bedroom. As she steps into the room, I close the door behind us.”

“It happened again last night.”

“I know.”

“The others. They feel we're endangering them by staying here. Potter is putting us both out.”

“No!" Maria glares at me. "I should go alone. All I’m doing is putting you in danger. If we hadn’t told them that you were my husband, they probably would have thrown me out after the first time.”

“Maria.” I brush the hair out of her eyes. “What keeps waking you up in the night?”

She looks down at the floor for a long moment before answering. “In my dreams… I’m always drowning. The cold water is all around me. I can hear it roaring in my ears, and there’s light shimmering through above me, but it’s vanishing. I feel it in my lungs, and everything starts to go dark.”

“And that’s when you wake up?”

Maria says nothing.

“Have you always had these dreams?”

“Not always. The last few months though…”

“Ever since all this started?”

She nods.

“Well listen, we're going to have to leave now. It's still morning. If we leave now, we can clear the city by nightfall."

“Go alone? Are you crazy?”

“You know they hate the sunlight. If we go now, it’ll just be the newly turned on the street, and I’m pretty sure we can avoid them. As long as we're quick, we'll be okay.”

“But you mean to go with me? Give up the safety of the group? No. It’s my fault we’re having this problem. I’ll go.” She turns towards the door.

“If you’re going, them I’m going with you.” I put my hand on the door, blocking her path. “We’ll be safer together."

“Okay.” she opens the door. We move through the apartment quickly, avoiding the eyes of the others.



"First things first," I grunt, working at the heavy latch of the door, "We're going to get you something for these nightmares. I remember a pharmacy less than a mile from here."

“Did I ever tell you about my step-daughter?” Maria asks as we step out of the building and into the autumn daylight.

“No.” I look around. The city is quieter than I’ve ever known it. The only sound comes from a light wind that undresses the crimson trees, pushes newspapers up the streets, buffets our hair about. It’s colder than it was two days ago. Tonight it will be colder still.

“A year ago I married a man with a six year old daughter named Madeline,” Maria says. “The girl was a deaf-mute. Also epileptic. Her father spoke sign language, but I didn’t. I was trying to learn when… it happened.”

“What happened to them?”

“Madeline had gone to school in the morning. That day we got the first report that things were worse than we thought, that the danger was real. That night was when the screaming started. Everyone was advised to return to their homes and lock their doors. My husband went to the school to get her. I waited and waited, but he never showed. A few hours later, the doorbell rang. I opened it and saw Madeline standing there, splattered with blood. My husband wasn’t with her.”

“Did he die?” I squeeze between two abandoned cars, part of a larger, burned-out wreck that blocks off the street completely.

“I never found out.” Maria hops over the fender of one of the cars. “I tried to remember the sign language, to ask Madeline what had happened, but in the moment… I forgot everything. I tried to get her to write it out for me. She picked up the pen, and then it happened. She started shaking, convulsing, like she was having a seizure…”

“…But also like someone who’s just been exposed to the parasite.” I frown and glance around at our surroundings. The smell of death is stronger here.

“Right.” Maria pauses to see what I’m looking at, then continues. “Madeline started foaming at the mouth, and I was trying to clear her airway when she bit down on my finger.” She holds up her right hand, with its scarred stump of an index finger.

“So that’s how you lost the finger? She bit it off?”

“No. I panicked. She had only drawn a little bit of blood, so I thought I might have time. I took the sharpest kitchen knife I could and cut the finger off and bandaged it as best as I could. Then I took her to the bathroom and drew a warm bath for her. I told her I needed to clean her off. I made her get in. I…” Maria starts to choke up. She’s trying to fight through the sobs starting to tug at her chest.

I take her scarred hand in mine. “What happened then?”

“I pushed her head under the water and held it there until the bubbles stopped and she stopped struggling. Then I took her body that was still soft and warm, dried her hair, put a robe on her, and laid her on her bed. I cried beside her all night. And after she had bitten down on me, I was just waiting to feel the symptoms myself. But they never came.”

“You did what you thought you had to do to survive,” I tell her. “What happened to your family is terrible, but everyone here has lost people they loved. You were lucky to make it through that only losing a finger.”

“It’s not about luck,” Maria says. “I never showed any symptoms. I know I didn’t get the finger off in time. Even with perfect reaction time, the odds aren’t good. The blood circulates too quickly. If I never showed symptoms, then she had never been exposed to the parasite. I killed an innocent child, Joseph.”

“You can’t be certain. There’s no way you could ever know that. You’re not the only person who had to make a judgment call.”

“I don’t need to be certain. It doesn’t make it any less true.”

“So this nightmare where you’re drowning is because of the guilt you feel for what you did?”

“It isn’t just guilt. It’s a sign. My punishment is coming. Probably not today, or tomorrow, but it’s coming. The water will envelop me, the breath will leave my body, my face will be blue, my hair will be wet and cold when the darkness finally comes."

“You can’t blame yourself.” There’s a drugstore on the corner to our right. I point towards it, and Maria nods. “You had to make a choice in what you thought was a life or death situation. Lots of people would have done what you did. And if the girl had been infected, it would have been a kindness to put her down like that.”

The glass panels of the drugstore door have been smashed in. I pull on the handle, and the door opens easily. Dim light trickles through to the inside. The first-aid section has been completely emptied, but I have a feeling the medicine we need will be untouched. As I move towards the back, suddenly I’m aware that I’m alone.

Maria has stopped in the middle of the aisle. Her eyes are closed, but tears are welling up around them, and she’s visibly shaking.

“Look,” I say to her, “if everyone who had to make a life or death decision over the last few months was punished for it, there would be no one left. You’ll be okay. We’re going to come out of this. We’re going to get out of this city together.” She’s staring off into empty space. “Hey! Are you hearing me?”

“Behind you!” Maria shouts suddenly.

I whirl around to see it coming towards us. It must have been sleeping behind the counter. I never heard it rise. Whether it was a man or a woman in its past life, I can’t tell; all that’s left is that translucent yellow skin, that split mandible, the tendrils arcing around from its spine. As I try to jump backwards away from it, my foot slips on an empty bottle, and I tumble to the floor. I try to draw my pistol, but it seems stuck in the holster. The thing is almost on us when one of its black eyes explodes, and the far wall is splattered with gray and yellow sludge.

Maria stands over me, the gun smoking in her maimed hand. Somehow she lined up the shot and pulled the trigger with her middle finger. She keeps the gun trained on the creature’s body for several seconds as though expecting it to rise. Finally she seems satisfied that it’s down for good.

“Let’s get what we need and get out of here.” Maria holsters her weapon. “The gunshot will draw more of them. We don’t have long.”

Outside, the wind has picked up. As we hurry through the wreckage of this dead city, I look to Maria. The fear is gone, replaced by cold resolve. We just might make it out of this place.
 

AnkitT

Member
Why do we reject the virtual? What is so deeply ingrained into ourselves that causes us to differentiate between the varying degrees of “reality”? I’m sure it could get more philosophical the more you fall through the rabbit hole. It was pretty simple for me though. I went to sleep one night, and never woke up. Or at least that is what I think happened. It isn’t as fantastical as some had imagined it to be. It is very physical, every aspect can be felt the same as you would feel reality. Strange things make sense in the context, but I’ve grown to differentiate between the spectrum of what can and cannot be construed as strange. But through all the time I spent in this scape, I never questioned the authenticity of it. That is, until a week ago. The pillow bound head imagines a whole world, conjures up whole images based on your memory and vicarious experiences. The stuff that dreams are made of.

It started out mundane, probably because I wanted myself to acclimatize easily at first. I would wake up, brush my teeth, take a shower, feed the horse, and be on my way to work as a clerk at OCP. This routine always seemed somewhat odd to me since I never knew, or felt the need to find out what OCP stood for. Anyways, the company dabbled in robotics and related technology. They were ready to launch their new model ED209 civil protection unit. I didn’t bother much with the details, but it all felt way too familiar. Probably watched too many sci-fi movies before going to bed.

I would often forget the journey home, remembering just the vague and flickering street locations when stressed to remember by myself. It didn’t matter much though, I was at home. I pick up the remote which is just a rectangle. I motion it just based on muscle memory, and the TV switches on. That new flick RobotCopper is on. I’ve seen this one before, haven’t I? I switch the television off and land in my bed. The walls look warm and there are two lamps on either side of the bed. There is a mirror on the ceiling. And as I look into it, I see that my face is not me yet the rest of my body is. This is unsettling, and the rest of the room starts to rearrange itself in order to conceal the mirror. I forget about the reflection and pick up a book from my nightstand. The cover has a cave drawn on it, with the title of the book obscured.

“Plato” I say, with a smile on my face representing some sort of victory in a long forgotten battle which suddenly became relevant.

I open the book and the images start to flicker across the pages. Vague recollections and memorable sentences fill the white background. As I sweep through the pages, a glimpse of a face flashes through. But immediately another thought wrestles with it for dominance. I remember that there is bacon in my fridge. I finish the bacon and as start washing the dish. My own reflection scares me. I don’t know who the owner of that face is. How is he attached to my hands? Then I get distracted by the wailing sirens.

For the next few weeks, the cycle continues. The only difference was that my horse ran off, and that I stopped seeing my reflection anywhere. I still understood that the disembodiment that I felt was real. I started thinking hard about my identity. My wallet held empty rectangles with nothing on them. And then there were those green rectangles, which I knew were currency, but felt somehow foreign. It was time for the company baseball match, just a few days before the ED209 launch. I took my bat and got ready to play. The sheen off the aluminum bat caught me off guard. The ball hit me on the head. I fell down immediately, several figures surrounded me. One of them was me, but not the person I saw in the reflection on the bat. I remembered the book that I was reading the other night.

My eyes felt like they were opening for the first time. It took a while for things to get into focus, but everything felt off kilter somehow. There was a sound of constant beeping, something similar to the diagnostics sound on the ED209. I looked around the room; it was quite strange that nothing was flickering. I started to get worried, and tried to flail my arms, scream, get out of there, anything! But I could do nothing. I wanted more than anything to get out of this strange place. I closed my eyes and wished that it would somehow ease me back into the real world, but nothing worked. After a great deal of struggling, I could finally move my head. As I turned my eyes to the ceiling, I saw the same man that I saw before. This startled me into unconsciousness.

I woke up, brushed my teeth, and took a shower. As I made my way to the office I saw my horse running towards a cave. It felt so familiar, but that thought soon got replaced by the fact that ED209 was going to be unveiled the same afternoon. I reached the OCP building, and I saw a plane crashing into two buildings nearby. The moment went away as soon as it came to me. After that everything turned to just very vague colours and shapes. I entered the building as it bobbed and formed into different shapes and contours. The only thing that wasn’t so abstract was ED209. And I finally saw my clear reflection in its metallic covering. That couldn’t be me. I reject the notion that this reflection is of me. Soon, the robot melted into the background, becoming the same as everything else in this world. I started seeing the face all across this weird plastic.

I felt a jolt across my body, which carried through to the whole world as I saw it. The colours regressed to the periphery, revealing some masked people shouting. A few more jolts and the colours turned brighter, trying to overcome the vision of the masked people. As my eyes started to grow heavy, I took one last look at the ceiling and saw my face staring back at me, mouthing the word “Plato”.
 
Rifle (640 words)

We had been told that the town was crawling with dissidents, but when we arrived there was no sign of life among the dilapidated, war-torn buildings. Patrols were sent out, told to return before nightfall, but the search wasn't fruitful. If there were people here, they didn't want to be found. So we fortified our position in the picturesque square at the centre of town and sat back to wait out the night. I, along with two comrades, drew first watch, so we huddled at the fountain's edge, eyes straining to see out into the murky depths of the pitch-black streets, rifles held tight. We talked for a while, of friends and families, and shows we'd seen at the cinema, but soon lapsed into silence with a sense of foreboding.

The wind had stilled, and the frosted night air seemed pregnant with tension, though no sign of any enemy could I, or my comrades, see or hear. And then, the scraping of metal on metal. A manhole cover being removed? A weapon being prepared? At once, we raised our rifles, pointing off into the side-streets, desperately trying to peer through the gloom. Tendrils of fog began to snake about our feet, dark, voluminous clouds that further decreased our vision and sent my heart to a panic stricken pace. Breathing deeply, I mustered up a faint speck of courage and walked away from our position slowly into the foggy blackness of the night.

And then before my eyes, rising up like some foul devil from the pits of hell, a small goblin of a figure appeared in front of me, it's eyes shining grimly with the reflection of our camp fire. Without thinking twice, I pulled the trigger and the creature fell before me. What I wasn't ready for was the sudden surge of the thing's companions, dozens of the creatures, streaming in front and past me toward the square. I heard my compatriots shocked screams, and then the stereo sound of gunfire as they unloaded into the unnatural mob, further punctuated as more of the unit awoke from a cold slumber and began to fire upon the devils that assailed us.

Before long, it was all over. The fog snaked even thicker now, up to our waists, and I and my comrades gladly passed over our watch and returned to the blissful, welcoming embrace of an exhausted sleep. In the morning, I went in search of that first creature I had killed. But there were no creatures to be found. Only a mangled massacre of bullet-torn bodies. There, the corpse of a woman shot through the face, the malnourished and twisted form of her baby dead next to her. And there, a boy of no more than 6, dirty, grimy and so very thin, clutching a loaf of bread to his ruined chest. So many young ones and the old and infirm.

They'd come from the sewers, the sergeant said. He surmised that they'd surfaced, thinking us gone, in search of any food we might have left behind. Where the fighting men were, we never found out, and we left the town in the crisp chill of morning, glad to be heading back home to the capital, where unbeknown to us, news of our escapades had travelled on ahead. There was no glad welcome from mother and father as I stepped off the train, just the furious shouts of the public who, behind a line of policemen, hurled obscenities and curses in our direction. Rotten fruit came flying towards us next, a mushy apple exploding as it impacted with my head. I watched the police line struggle and then collapse, as a surge of the furious people of my home town advanced on us, fists raised and voices lost in an unintelligible cacophony of anger. Once more, I raised my rifle.
 

Cyan

Banned
That Repute is Not Dead, Which Can Eternal Lie (815)

O lurker behind the stars, O haunter of the space between, O sleeper in the doomed basalt city. O prodigious ravener, O eldritch dreamer, O dark beyonder. O Great Old One! O master of thresholds, O color beyond--

Listen. Can I just call you Big C?

Lovely. Big C, my name's Jessica Elmsley. I'm a partner with Brontes Steropes PR Group, and I'll be your image consultant going forward. No no, just call me Jess. That's right.

Oh, this kid? Emily, my intern. She'll get you whatever you need.

(Hey! Wake up. Coffee. Medium roast. Two sugars, no milk, and a pinch of cinnamon. Don't fuck it up this time.)

Lovely. Listen Big C, I've got LeBron in fifteen, so I'll just run through your file real quick and show you some of the things we've done for you. And we can discuss your options.

No no, Ed retired. Off on the golf course in Florida these days, teehee! Again, I will be your image consultant going forward. Think of me as your own personal repairer of reputations!

Wonderful. Take a look at this slide. So, one thing we do for all of our clients, at no extra charge, is a fulltime grassroots campaign.

Hmm? Oh, yes. I suppose. But I don't like the term. "Astroturfing" just sounds so--so fake, don't you think? This is more spontaneous, more fun. Our crew are free to post wherever they like--Youtube, Fox News, Gaia, 4chan--and whenever they like. All they have to do is stay on message! It's fun, it's bold, and it's effective.

Take a look at this next slide here, Big C--that's right. You can see that only a week after our latest push, comments in your favor went up over fifty percent! Wow, am I right?

(What the hell is this, you stupid bitch? I said a pinch of cinnamon. A pinch! Do it again, and do it fucking right!)

Next slide. Ooh, you'll love this. This is some of our most exciting work--going viral!

Well, there are many ways of running a viral campaign. We had one of our interns start a webcomic starring an anthropomorphic--excuse me, octopomorphic kitten. We ran a Youtube campaign that had you rap battling classic movie monsters--Godzilla, King Kong, the Thing. Ed helmed that one. You can see some of them if you like, they're just lovely. Oh wait, not right now. LeBron in fifteen, haha!

Here's one of our O R'LYEH? campaign tshirts. And oh, your mock Presidential campaign. The late night shows loved that one. That was my pet project. Tee hee!

The point? The point is to make you look fun! Funny instead of scary.

No, not like a clown. Like you're with it, doll, you're hip! Like you're in on the joke. You know.

(What? No! This is a dark roast! Where the fuck did you learn to make coffee? No. Get out. Just fucking go.)

All right Big C, this chart here. This is what I really wanted to talk to you about. We're starting to hit a ceiling. We can only do so much.

What? Of course not. We're the best. Listen hun, if we could fix Tom after Oprah's couch, we can fix anyone. It just means we need a little more from you.

Well, listen. You're amoral. You have no sense of right and wrong, just an alien ethos that transcends human concepts of morality. Y'know? People can't really relate to that.

So here's the concept. We work on getting you out there as a, y'know, regular celebrity. You get spotted at Hugo's, or The Ivy. Arm-in-arm with a starlet! Tabloids'll be all over you. I think we can pull Blake or Mila. Maybe Scarlett!

No? Well, we could go the other way. Clooney?

No. All right, look sweetie. You've got to work with us here. It's tabloids or--ooh, hey. Here's a notion. Ok, there are people out there who are way more amoral and unrelatable than you, right?

Oh, no, but they can be useful. I loved mine when I divorced my first husband, let me tell you. No, I'm thinking of someone else. Hang on.

Lovely. Ok Big C, picture this. Picture this. You, standing in front of a decrepit, cyclopean cenotaph composed of non-Euclidean geometries that could drive a man mad. You're surrounded by noisome, sepulchral monoliths that have mouldered for piteous aeons. And you're standing there, just standing and holding a sign.

"Occupy R'lyeh."

Beautiful! They're gonna love you, Big C.

No? But--hey! Hang on Big C, come back here! I haven't told you about my fashion plans yet! Big C?

Shit.

Oh, come on out. I know you're in there. Come on, don't be shy. That's right.

Go on then. Medium roast, two sugars, no milk, a pinch of cinnamon.

And send in Big L, would you?
 

DumbNameD

Member
The Tinkerbell Effect (~1280 Words)

"What are you doing?" asked Maggie, as she sidestepped an empty carton of orange juice sliding her way. Crumpled balls of paper napkins and junk mail seemed to sprout like a cabbage patch out of the linoleum. "I'm not going to clean this up."

"You will when I show you," said Felicia. In socks and her pajamas, she sat on the floor in the middle of the kitchen as she dug into the overturned garbage bin without much care to the stench.

"I find that unlikely," said Maggie. She stood at a distance with her hands on her hips. "Pretty much an impossibility."

"I told you," began Felicia. She examined something black and slimy before realizing that it was the remnants of a banana peel. "I knew this was a mistake."

"Well, I could have told you that."

Felicia shot her roommate a look. "No," said Felicia. "I mean this." She pointed a thumb at the top of her head. A lick of ketchup crawled down a finger.

Maggie shook her head. "Felicia, it's fine," she said. "Maybe your ears stick out a little, but that's just a getting-used-to thing. It's only been four days."

"No," said Felicia. "I mean, yeah, it's so short. But I told Carol this short. That's not what I-- Wait, what about my ears?"

"What?" said Maggie. She considered Felicia's current state of mind. "Nothing. I didn't say-- Nothing. I didn't say anything about ears."

"I thought I heard..." said Felicia. "Or maybe I was just thinking ears because I thought I heard you say it."

"You know, I'm sure you'll get used to it," said Maggie. "You just have to live with it. Besides it'll grow--"

"No!" said Felicia with a wild look in her eyes. The look was quite effective. Her short hair brought out her eyes. "That's the problem. I can't live with it. It, it's out there."

Maggie sighed. "I need coffee," she said. "Yeah, that's what I need." She tiptoed around used tissues as she wondered what other unsanitary denizens of the trash touched the floor. She shivered thinking of the ickiness. She washed her hands and rinsed out a mug before filling it with day-old coffee in the pot. The mug clattered into the microwave, and a few beeps after sent it spinning round on the tray. "You got some weed, didn't you? From that guy, what's-his-name," she said over the hum of the microwave.

Felicia shook her head. "That was a phase," she said. "I don't even see what's-his-name anymore."

"Did you sleep last night?" asked Maggie. The microwave shrieked and rattled to a stop. She snapped the door open before removing the mug. She blew air across the top of the coffee. "At all?"

"I slept with one eye open," said Felicia. "If that's what you mean."

"So no," said Maggie.

Felicia's eyes lit. "Ah!" she said. She thrust an arm into the billowing trash bag. "Here we go, ladies and gentlemen."

Maggie looked around. She confirmed, as she already knew, that there was neither hide nor hair of neither ladies nor gentlemen. She took a sip of coffee.

"Look! See!" said Felicia. She held a plastic grocery bag that swayed in her hands. "I was right."

"Okay," said Maggie. "Right about what?"

Felicia curled open the edges of the bag. With a snap of her wrists, she flipped the plastic bag inside out and held it upside down. "See," she said. She shook the bag.

"I don't, I don't see anything."

"Exactly," said Felicia. She crushed the bag into a crumple with a fist. She shook it in front of her. "It was full of hair. And now there's not even a curlicue."

"Oh, what? Did all that hair you cut off... just what?" asked Maggie. "Walk away?"

Felicia held a finger to her nose and pointed at Maggie. "Bingo," she said. Felicia gagged as she realized her hands smelled like garbage. She held her hands away from her. "Last night, I went to the kitchen and turned on the lights. And there on the table I stared at it. And I had absolutely no idea what the blazes I was looking at. It growled at me and jumped at me! And I threw a shoe at it."

"That explains the slipper in the sink," said Maggie.

"Is it wet?" asked Felicia.

Maggie leaned over the sink. "A little," she replied.

"The other one is on the night stand," said Felicia.

"Because you slept with one eye open," said Maggie.

"I think I dazed it. But it ran away, so I had to be ready," said Felicia. "I didn't know what it was at first, but it seemed familiar. And I knew the color. I think I dazed it, but I wasn't sure."

"Well, sure," said Maggie. "How can you be sure?"

"I know," said Felicia. "It didn't have a mouth or any eyes. It was just hair."

"Are you sure you didn't smoke anything?"

"Look you may think I'm crazy," said Felicia. "But I saw it."

"It's not so crazy," said Maggie. "I heard about toenail clippings haunting a man in Florida. It didn't end so well for him." She shook her head. "He went crazy."

"That's not true at all," said Felicia.

"Nope."

"Look," said Felicia. "Think about it. Hair, it changes you! Blondes have more fun. Redheads are fiery and passionate. Long, short, curly, it changes you. Controls you. The way you walk, how you stand, how you carry yourself."

"And toupées," said Maggie. "How about them toupées!"

"It attacked me. My own hair," said Felicia. "Be serious, Maggie. Look at the Spice Girls. You can't tell me the ponytail didn't make Sporty Spice sporty."

"Well, that is true," said Maggie. "I couldn't tell you that. Also, I couldn't have told you that a Spice Girls reference would have survived into the twenty-first century." She shrugged. "So what do I know?"

"You know, come to think of it," said Felicia. "Weird things always seemed to happen when I have shorter hair. Maybe not this short. Or this weird. Like this time when I was a baby, my parents told me, these wolves broke into--"

The coffee mug smashed against the floor. Maggie saw it. The hair hissed. Felicia leapt to her feet. A sock fluttered into the air and landed on the counter behind the hair.

"Okay," said Felicia, standing with one bare foot and one sock. "That didn't work. Do you have a shoe?" she asked.

The hair formerly on Felicia's head snarled. Strands tangled into snaking tentacles. The hair leapt. Maggie fell onto her butt. She struggled and tried to push the hair away. Blood ran down her shin.

"Get it off!" said Maggie.

Felicia darted over. She slapped the hair. The hair reeled. Felicia grabbed it by the forward tufts. She yanked it back, and with a grunt, she gave the hair a judo throw. The hair squirmed and sprawled on the linoleum like a bad toupée. Felicia scooped up the hair. It snaked in her grasp. She snapped the door open, and with a thrust of her hands that smelled like garbage, she forced the hair into microwave oven. She whipped the door close. The hair slammed against the window of the microwave. With a few beeps, the hair spun round. It shrieked as it fizzled and popped. Felicia sighed in relief.

"Are you okay?" said Felicia. "You're bleeding."

"Yeah," said Maggie. She looked at her bleeding shin. "I think the mug cut me when it broke."

"Oh," said Felicia. She thought for a moment and scanned all the garbage on the floor. She really did stink. She could use a shower. "Now will you clean all this up?"

"Nope," said Maggie, shaking her head. "Some things remain impossible."

They never got the smell of burnt hair out of the microwave.
 

LogicStep

Member
Sober said:
Figured I'd give this a try. Been a while since I wrote anything that wasn't an essay, so I'm a bit rusty.

Witness Protection (1996 words)
:\ I know there's a word limit but damn it I want to know what happens next lol.
 

Cyan

Banned
I think this is my longest title ever. Heh.

zazrx said:
:\ I know there's a word limit but damn it I want to know what happens next lol.
Haha. I think that's the best critique it's possible to get.
 

kehs

Banned
I seriously keep looking at the critique deadline as the writing deadline.
LLShC.gif


Can we get the writing deadline in red? =(
 

Cyan

Banned
Copernicus said:
I seriously keep looking at the critique deadline as the writing deadline.
LLShC.gif


Can we get the writing deadline in red? =(
It's bold, it's underlined. It's the same every time.

So, no.
 

Mully

Member
I know the deadline was yesterday, but I just pumped this out and would like some feedback.

Title: Army Men

Randy Scattling started to run. He felt like he just woke up with the worst hang over of his life. He kept running. Past a closed decrepit ice cream stand, down the hill as his feet began to fall over themselves in the chowder like ground. He had this intense fear in him that he did not understand. He kept on running past the two sleeping cop cars and across the unispan to the other side of the street. He finally stopped in front of a Taco Bell with the old 80’s architecture that just emitted filth.

As he looked around he finally realized it was the middle of the day. A cold sun looks over him as he begins to rub his hands together while leaning up against the side of the staccato façade. He looks down at his shoes: he has none. Instead there are three pairs of now black socks. The only indication that they were once white was that the floppy high sock was loose at Randy’s ankle revealing a white cotton inside.

His investigation continues upward. A pair of Levi’s that are three pairs too tight, scrunching his muscular legs to near cyanosis. He has a shirt, but is angered at the site of it: a Keyshawn Johnson New York Jets jersey with a tear on the back end. He does not like Keyshawn; he went to the Buccaneers for the money! He continued with his visual check. In his hand were a ring of keys. All of them were the same key, a wide head Baldwin key. All of them say, “Home. Don’t lose it”, on a laminated sticky note.

He feels an immense weight on his back as he switches positions on the wall revealing a graffiti painting of a penis and a backpack strapped around his back. Randy nudges one side off his shoulder and brings it in front of his chest. He opens it up and finds a Batman action figure and a handful of empty beer cans.

“Hey kid!” said a man walking towards the door.

“Listen we’re closed for another hour. Gotta wait a bit for the new Flatbreads,” says the tall clean shaven man.

Randy remembers those Flatbread commercials from last night while watching SNICK and laughing at the Keenan Thompson bathtub jokes.

“This isn’t the first time I’ve had you fuckers around here this early. Just go home.”

The man is now pointing towards the two patrol cars that Randy passed just minutes ago. This time the windows are open with the steam of coffee coming out of each driver’s side window.

“I…I don’t know where I am”, pipes Randy.

“I feel so weird right now. Why am I wearing this?” Randy questions himself.

“Hey man, it happens to the best of us”, says the man assuredly.

“But I didn’t do anything. I was watching “All That”, then “Mulan” came on before bed.”

“What are you talking about? Kid, are you alright? Just please; do me a favor, if you’re going to throw up, use the dumpster in the back. The last thing I need is one of my employees to pick up puke on a Sunday morning,” Says the man.

“I swear, I was home. My mom tucked me into my favorite sheets and told me I had a big day today. She even gave me my favorite stuffed animal!” Randy begins rifling through his red JanSport backpack. He was about to cry.

“Where is it? Where is..? I want everything to be ok!” Randy begins to melt.
The man just shakes his head, unlocks the front door of the Taco Bell, turns around to face the door and Randy, shakes his head again and locks the door with the same key.
Minutes later Randy has broken down completely. He is now lying directly in the middle of one of the parking spots. He lifts up his head as he hears a car roll into the lot. Loose gravel slowly drips off his face. It’s one of the cop cars.

The second one follows just seconds later. The two of them make a V, Randy is directly in the middle of the letter.

“Sir, can you please get up”, asks one of the officers.

Randy rises to his feet and looks at the officer as if he has heard this voice before.


“Sir, may I ask what you’re doing here?” the officer finishes with a sigh.

Randy knows he’s heard the voice before and realizes it sounds like his younger brother Doug.

“Hey Cadet!” exclaims Randy.

“Sigh. Hey Randy. Let’s get you home” says Cadet.

“Thanks baby-brother!” Randy hops into the back of the car.

A minute into the ride and Randy has climbed over as much as he can in the back seat. He is exhausted as his beer belly folds over his too tight jeans.

“Cadet! Where are we going? Are we playing cops and robbers again or army? Ooh ooh can we play Army? That’s my favorite! When I grow up, I want to be in the Army. I want to shoot a gun and hunt bad guys!” says the excited Randy.

“Hey Randy, quiet down, we’re almost there,” says Cadet as he looks at the 3rd Precinct sign.

The cop car pulls into the back lot of the 3rd Precinct house. Cadet slowly walks to the passenger door and sighs again. He opens the door with a smile on his face.
“Randy, these men are going to babysit you again. They won’t be mean or anything,” says Cadet.

“I’ll make sure I’m good. Whenever Mommy has a babysitter I make sure we’re both good and we always get peanut-butter cookies when we’re good,” childishly says Randy.
Cadet walks Randy into the station house and he can already feel the stares of discontent again. No one wants Randy here. He is a waste of their time, yet he’s there almost every weekend.

Cadet steers the now cuffed Randy into a cell and closes the door behind him. Randy, rushes to the now closed door. He holds onto the bars and pleads for Cadet to stay and play. Cadet turns around and simply says with a sad snicker, “Randy, I have to go to work, that’s what grownups do.”

Randy begins to sob and calls out for his parents.

Cadet lowers his head and walks into Booking. He sees a new face and he already knows he has to explain himself. In the past, all he had to do was nod his head to Clara and she would take care of the rest, but now it was time for Cadet to explain the whole situation again.

“I just brought in a 415. Age, 26. Caucasian male. Name: Randolph Wilkins,” says an uneasy Cadet.

“Ok. I have it in the system,” says temporary desk jockey.

Relieved, Cadet loosens his grip on his coffee mug and starts to chit chat with the new booker.

“So you’re here for Clara?”

“Yeah, I’m going to be here for atleast 6 weeks, depending how everything goes with Clara’s baby.”

“Great, you seem to know the ins and outs already.” Says Cadet
.
“Hey so it says you’re related to this whiner in the back,” asks the desk jockey.

Cadet’s grip has tightened again.

“Yeah he’s my older brother. He’s not the brightest,” says an uneasy Cadet.

“Older brother? That kid looks like he’s a drunk college student”, she excitedly asks.

“How do I put this; Randy has Hendrix Syndrome. It’s like that Robin Williams’s movie. You know the one where he is like 10, but he looks 40. Randy is the opposite of that. He started to do “adult things” when he was really young and never really learned how to become an adult. For instance, he started drinking when he was 11, but never learned how to be an adult about it. He started to leave home, but never with a key. He always lost something. He is a lost soul and at this point it’s too late.”

Cadet smiles for a second.

“I was the same way for a bit. Was in and out of college. Had a girlfriend who was the world to me. It took me hearing her say that she had enough with me to get things straight. I may have gotten better, but I lost her. Randy has lost everyone and he will be lost forever. He will always act like a kid. It's not acceptable anymore. Just leave him in there for the night and I'll take him when I'm done with my shift."
 

Ashes

Banned
@ jd: I didn't get the explanation at first. But the very moment I said this, I put myself in the characters against her, and the story sort of unravelled its self. Without spoiling the story, Kindness is, and has been for a while, one of my favourite virtues.

@bakemono: feels like it needs an edit or two... The middle kinda confused me with the influx of characters; I needed to reread a couple of paragraphs.

@fairy d: read like an incoherent ramble, which is a shame because the ideas behind it were kinda awesome.
 

starsky

Member
Votes:
1. John Dunbar
2. Ashes
3. DnD
HM. Puddles, Sober

Ashes - Dramatic opening, a little untidy in the middle, but came together very well towards the end.

JD - Very endearing. Makes me want to sketch it out as an illustrated story.

FairyD - Should have fleshed it out more. Interesting concept.

Sober - The opening was a little longer than it needed to be (for me). Later on the short sections had too much a staccato rhythm as it unravels towards the eventual reveal.

Tangent - Aww. It's nice he got his 'comeuppance' in the end.

Puddles - Very nice ending. Was so rooting for her to pull it together.

Bootaaay - A little too extreme in its caricature of the war-weary world. The ending in particular seems over the top. I can't see this happening in a realistic (ish) manner.

Cyan - Witty and irreverently light. I enjoyed the one-sided dialog, and the assistant's passive involvement in it.

DnD - Absurdly entertaining. Makes me wary of all those seemingly harmless waste.

Mully - the beginning was stronger than the rest. Kinda unravelled from the midway through.
--

Ashes, thanks for feedback. It was originally a 2,600 words story. I had to cut it down mercilessly to fit in to the word count. Probably some introduction of the extra characters would have made their entrance to the story better.
 

Cyan

Banned
bakemono - "Hedgewood Manor" - Felt like an excerpt from a children's book, one of those ones where the main cast of characters gets into a series of scrapes that aren't really related, they're just kind of strung together. Wait, that doesn't actually sound like a compliment... but it was meant as one, I promise! My only problems here were keeping track of the large cast of characters (there are rather a lot for such a brief piece, and I never quite got a handle on how many there were in the gang), and getting a bit confused on what actually happened when the kid got pulled through the mirror. A wee bit more clarity there would've been nice.

Ashes1396 - “Dagenham Market” or “In a blaze of glory” - Nice sort of slice of life do. The dialogue sometimes rang a little false as far as word choices and such, but I guess you'd know better than I on those. ;) I like the decision to have an outside observer who can kind of take in the events as we do. As with mono's, I found the large cast hard to digest--I kept losing track of who was who, which sort of disrupted my taking in the events of the story.

John Dunbar - "Duck with a Basket" - Sweet story, and quite original. I like the end result of the seashells helping her escape. I'm not sure whether or not I like Exposition Owl at the end--he clarifies what was actually going on, but at the cost of moralizing and kind of being pedantic. I dunno. I like the final line.

FairyD - "A chance" - Very cool. I love how imaginative this one is. Next time, or if you'd had more time, I'd like to see a bit more heft. Not in terms of word length necessarily, but in terms of what happens in the story. Our main character walks into a room, is asked his advice, but it doesn't really have any bearing on the outcome. That kind of removes any conflict from the story. Actually, there still could be conflict, if the guy reacted to that fact, if he tried to influence things despite their not listening to him, etc. Again, I love the imagination here.

Sober - "Witness Protection" - What I found most interesting about this one was the relationship between the main dude and his witness protection officer. The girl turning out to be a bad guy was a little predictable, but that's all right. There was some good foundational character stuff here. Would've liked to see a little more of the officer. Maybe even just the guy thinkign about him a little bit at the end there.
 
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