• Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.

Dating-Age |OT5| Halp me pls. In the bathroom.

Status
Not open for further replies.
J

Jason's Ultimatum

Member
Well i don't have consistent bad behaviors like that. That was just a one off situation. I guess I just wasn't happy waiting for over an hour. I should've just gone to a bar, have a drink, and hang out until I was sure she was trying to bail on me. There's nothing "troubling" about me at all, lol. I don't hold any anger issues with bad dates that don't go well. And I've already admitted it was stupid to do that. Ive been ghosted a few times on the final day of a first meetup, and I just moved on.

Anyway, I think I'm done with this thread. This place does more harm than good, which was why I was doing so well when I stayed away from this thread.

The girl I went dancing with just actually texted me asking if I want to hang out this weekend. This'll be our third meet up. Things seem to be going well with her, and it's finally nice to connect with someone, and have chemistry.

Good luck to everyone.
 
V

vern

Member
Zaraki_Kenpachi said:
It doesn't matter if you've done that before. You've had a series of bad behavior that you said you've broken but instead of replacing it with good habits you're just swapping one bad habit for another. For you to get that mad and think that vern was being serious over $6 of all things is worrying. At some point you have to realize on your own that "hey this is a shitty thing to do, I shouldn't do this".
Click to expand...

I feel kind of bad giving that advice now tbh...I thought he'd learned before not to stalk his date's whereabouts after last time we told him he was being crazy. And yeah scolding over 6 bucks... My advice was serious though Jason about next time you are iffy on a girl, politely decline her date and go and put $6 in the bank. Or I guess anytime you get stressed about a few bucks or life in general, just put $6 bucks in savings and remember the time you got angry about $6 (read that again dude, angry about $6, are you kidding me?!), take a deep breath, and put some cash in your savings. Should make you look back and laugh about this old situation, realize you were young and stupid, and make you feel better I guess.

And to anyone saying ZCs advice about moving is bad... the world is big and interesting and exciting. Maybe don't just move around for dating purposes, but there's lots of other benefits to going to new cities or countries for living and working. Don't get stuck in a rut. Jason's Ultimatum has been in a rut for years, I know many people have often told him to change his living and working situation and he hasn't... and possibly this is unrelated to his rut with dating, but I would think not. He hasn't been able to grow or mature as a man by being stuck in Florida working retail, living with his mom, and dating weird Florida chicks. JU I'm not trying to single you out, just your problems and story have been well documented on GAF so it's easier to use as an example. I believe you have a new job lined up though still right? That should help you grow I hope.

To all, it never ever hurts to get out of your hometown, city, country, etc. If you set off to parts unknown and fail, oh well, you've tried and learned new things. It's impossible not ot have learned something new. If you lament your 1 match on Tinder or your shitty job prospects because you live on a farm in Appalachia, do something to change your circumstance. Take charge of your life...it's cliche as fuck but really you do only live once.
 
G

gazele

Banned
Jhoan said:
Cross-posted from the Online Dating thread. Proactive TL;DR: Tinder first date featuring Pokemon Go that went fantastic. Girl lives in my neighborhood so there will definitely be a second date. Have 3 dates back to back later this week:



Side note: Bruce, duder I dunno why you have a rule about not dating girls that below 5'8'' because you're missing out on so much man. Then again, preferences yo!

Also, Jason lamenting about losing $6, taking Vern's advice seriously, and the ensuing replies have been comedic gold.
Click to expand...

Haha, and to think how much you were against playing pokemon go just over a week ago!

Sounds like it went well, happy for you
 
J

Jhoan

Member
vern said:
To all, it never ever hurts to get out of your hometown, city, country, etc. If you set off to parts unknown and fail, oh well, you've tried and learned new things. It's impossible not ot have learned something new. If you lament your 1 match on Tinder or your shitty job prospects because you live on a farm in Appalachia, do something to change your circumstance. Take charge of your life...it's cliche as fuck but really you do only live once.
Click to expand...
You make a damn good point as some people aren't willing to give up the comfortable for the uncomfortable. This is something that I still dream of doing since I'm in a transitional point in my life where I'm trying new things while I figure myself out and discover things that I'm passionate about. I have thought about joining the Peace Corps/work abroad program for a year or two to get of the US or at least visit Canada before the end of the year.

So it's on my mind for sure since I feel like living abroad would do me wonders so I'll see where I'm at in a year and if I'm not satisfied with where I'm at in my life, I will bite the trigger and do it. I've been encouraging my brother to consider it since he's in his early 30s and at a loss as to what to do with his life while he goes back to college to study music.

gazele said:
Haha, and to think how much you were against playing pokemon go just over a week ago!

Sounds like it went well, happy for you
Click to expand...

Thanks man! It's amazing how much it's taken off as a date idea! I didn't know I would get so hooked to it especially once I figured out how to get Pokeballs. I'll follow up with her some time later today asking her out for either neighborhood drinks+park with more Pokemon Go hunting or to play pool.

Sadly, the girl I'm seeing today isn't into it when I told her I was into it much to her dismay so we'll see what happens. The plan is to go to the playground where she took a picture that I initially commented on. It's going to be hard not to boot up Pokemon Go since I'm pretty sure that said playground is bound to be a PokeStop.
 
G

gwailo

Banned
SmackDaddy said:
Sorry for yelling at you, hope the next one with girl #2 goes well!
Click to expand...

No, he deserved it. It was a dick move.

There's nothing "troubling" about me at all, lol.
Click to expand...

A 34 year old that acts like you do is kind of troubling. You tag a "lol" as if how you act is perfectly normal. It isn't. TBH I think you have gotten by on your looks for a long time but now that you are dealing with older/more mature people, they don't like what's beneath the surface, so that's why you can't last more than 2 or 3 dates with women.

A lot of how you are acting out I believe is self-sabotage because you aren't mature enough to handle an actual relationship or you don't think you're good enough because of your job and living situation.

I hope you find what you are looking for, but I think to do that you need to do some serious introspection. Best of luck to you.
 
G

gaiages

Banned
Jason, you keep saying it's a one off situation but these things keep happening. *Shrug*

And I agree with Vern about the moving stuff in general. I am by no means a super traveler like him or Zackie, but I have moved from my hometown and lived in a few different states and so on. It's important to get out there and experience new stuff. Yes, even different cities in the U S of A have different things going on in them. I lived in Florida for about eight years now and I'm getting the itch to move again after I'm done with school. It's a nice life reset :p
 
Z

ZackieChan

Member
Yeah, definitely. I can't imagine living in my hometown all my life. And Tinder sucks here.

People, please be made of sterner stuff than the posters in that other thread about dudes sending multiple messages without a response. So many in there think they are owed a final good-bye before blocking, or some other kind of courtesy. Online dating isn't for the weak of heart, but the potential benefits are amazing. Be strong.

The thread: http://m.neogaf.com/showthread.php?t=1253124
 
G

gaiages

Banned
ZackieChan said:
Yeah, definitely. I can't imagine living in my hometown all my life. And Tinder sucks here.

People, please be made of sterner stuff than the posters in that other thread about dudes sending multiple messages without a response. So many in there think they are owed a final good-bye before blocking, or some other kind of courtesy. Online dating isn't for the weak of heart, but the potential benefits are amazing. Be strong.

The thread: http://m.neogaf.com/showthread.php?t=1253124
Click to expand...

My favorite part of that thread is all the people going GHOSTING IS CRUEL AND EMOTIONALLY DAMAGING, because telling people no politely and getting insulted/threatened isn't. :p

If you get no response, go to the next one :3
 
G

gwailo

Banned
That thread is pretty infuriating. Obviously most of them have never been the recipient of a nasty message or known someone that has gotten them. I think if they logged into a woman's inbox on any dating site, they'd realize why women choose to not respond when they're not interested. Some of the stuff people sent to my wife on Match (supposedly a "nice" dating site) was just vile, like threatening rape or to hurt her son.

Also women get tons of messages a day since they're outnumbered something like 10 to 1 on some sites, so literally there isn't enough time to even send a generic "not interested" response.

I have a feeling most of the butthurt guys on that thread are the ones spending days and days working on the "perfect" profile and openers, when in reality that stuff matters very little on dating sites.
 
W

War Peaceman

You're a big guy.
I think y'all are being harsh on Jason. He was right to be firm about someone who was late. If he prioritises timely behaviour then he should avoid dating people who are not very time conscious. It is possible that there was traffic but most of the time these are just excuses made by people who didn't care enough to be on time.

However, he shouldn't have been so petty in his interactions with her. Should have just blocked and left it at that.

The $6 element just makes me think of Costanza.
 
G

gwailo

Banned
It's fine to be upset about someone ghosting. But to send a text saying shit like "that shows who you are" and "have a nice life" is just douchey.

If he's that concerned about $6 then he should pick places where you don't need to pay to park. It is also on him that he apparently waited for an hour, staring at his phone fuming for a response, and went so far as to check traffic apps or whatever instead of just having a beer and wings.

His response to our reaction to the Costanza move was the equivalent of a little kid sticking his finger in his ears and going "la la la la la la I don't hear you" and then he says he's leaving the thread, saying he is doing good. Um, ok, WTF? He is very childish (as in self-centered) in his behavior and has taken nothing to heart.

We are getting harsh because of this sort of stuff. It is the same pattern he does all the time here. He comes in and says something, we point out that it is more on him, he says "oh I don't do stuff like that but I'll change" and then comes back in a week or two with another example of his antics. He's basically wasting everyone's time. You can only try to help someone if they are receptive to getting it. I don't think he is.

That's why he created a separate thread about how dating is so exhausting; he wants a circle-jerk of people saying "oh, it's ok, buddy" instead of people who are willing to cut through his bullshit and point out that maybe, just maybe, his course isn't on track.
 
G

gaiages

Banned
gwailo said:
It's fine to be upset about someone ghosting. But to send a text saying shit like "that shows who you are" and "have a nice life" is just douchey.

If he's that concerned about $6 then he should pick places where you don't need to pay to park. It is also on him that he apparently waited for an hour, staring at his phone fuming for a response, and went so far as to check traffic apps or whatever instead of just having a beer and wings.

His response to our reaction to the Costanza move was the equivalent of a little kid sticking his finger in his ears and going "la la la la la la I don't hear you" and then he says he's leaving the thread, saying he is doing good. Um, ok, WTF? He is very childish (as in self-centered) in his behavior and has taken nothing to heart.

We are getting harsh because of this sort of stuff. It is the same pattern he does all the time here. He comes in and says something, we point out that it is more on him, he says "oh I don't do stuff like that but I'll change" and then comes back in a week or two with another example of his antics. He's basically wasting everyone's time. You can only try to help someone if they are receptive to getting it. I don't think he is.

That's why he created a separate thread about how dating is so exhausting; he wants a circle-jerk of people saying "oh, it's ok, buddy" instead of people who are willing to cut through his bullshit and point out that maybe, just maybe, his course isn't on track.
Click to expand...

1292223254212-dumpfm-mario-Obamaclap.gif
 
V

vern

Member
But he is right that for him the thread does more harm than good... I mean I gave what I thought was clearly ridiculous advice that he wouldn't follow, and then he did. So I'm partially to blame on that.

On the other hand we told him previously that tracking his dates wherabouts on apps is creepy as fuck and he still didn't learn. Plus all the other advice he's had...eh.

Jason good luck to you man, you'll figure it out at some point. Welcome back anytime, and I won't send joking advice anymore, at least without a winking emoji or something.
 
Z

Zaraki_Kenpachi

Member
War Peaceman said:
I think y'all are being harsh on Jason. He was right to be firm about someone who was late. If he prioritises timely behaviour then he should avoid dating people who are not very time conscious. It is possible that there was traffic but most of the time these are just excuses made by people who didn't care enough to be on time.

However, he shouldn't have been so petty in his interactions with her. Should have just blocked and left it at that.

The $6 element just makes me think of Costanza.
Click to expand...
Who are you even arguing with? The whole point people were pointing out was the six dollars thing which you also did. Saying oh I scolded her and know what kind of person she is over a $6 loss is childish. So thanks for agreeing with us?


vern said:
But he is right that for him the thread does more harm than good... I mean I gave what I thought was clearly ridiculous advice that he wouldn't follow, and then he did. So I'm partially to blame on that.

On the other hand we told him previously that tracking his dates wherabouts on apps is creepy as fuck and he still didn't learn. Plus all the other advice he's had...eh.

Jason good luck to you man, you'll figure it out at some point. Welcome back anytime, and I won't send joking advice anymore, at least without a winking emoji or something.
Click to expand...
I don't think you should hold any blame. There has to be a point when you realize something that absurd shouldn't be taken seriously. It's be like asking what to do with a crying baby and someone posts put it in the oven and you go and do it without realizing that sounds horrible wrong. There's other problems if you taking something as ridiculous as chewing out someone over $6 as a plausible course of action.
 
L

Lone_Prodigy

Member
This thread only "does more harm than good" to Jason when he posts in it multiple times, seeking validation/empathy, and not getting it. Plus he rarely listens to us anyway.

Just a few pages back:

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=916630&page=188

Jason: hey I met a girl offline!
Us: Good for you, but don't get too attached.
Jason: So I'm wondering if she got my texts? iPhones are weird.
Us: Chill, bro.
Jason: I also sent her a picture of myself.
Us: ...
Jason: It doesn't happen with every woman I meet. I do other stuff with my time! Plus I'm talking to other women.

Rinse and repeat.

I don't mean to pile on, but this behaviour keeps repeating itself, and at some point one has to look and see whether the problem is the women, or himself. Ever play an online team-based multiplayer game with random people and keep losing? You can only blame your "trash teammates" for so long before you realize that the only common factor in all your losses is yourself.
 
J

Jayof9s

Member
vern said:
Can you still check how many miles she is away from you on Tinder? Or check those traffic apps to see the flow of traffic and make sure she is telling the truth. If she's not then scold her and demand your $6.
Click to expand...

So much good advice in this thread gets ignored time and time again and yet this joke is the advice some people will take seriously. Amazing.

Speaking of ignored advice... I am way too invested in getting a response from this one girl. We went on a date Monday and had a good time, she invited me to walk around town after we finished drinks which I took as a good sign since she could have just bailed at that point if things weren't going well. We talked and walked around for about an hour after that, despite the awful heat and humidity. I kind of botched an opportunity for a kiss that I'm still kicking myself for and I haven't heard from her since.

I sent one message later that night (through the site because I didn't ask for her number - another mistake after not dating in a while, she hasn't been on the site since the date though) just saying I had fun and referenced something from the date but it was short and to the point and I've got no intention of sending anything else if she doesn't respond but damn I hate waiting. Normally I don't care. This is the first time through online dating that I've come away from a date actually wanting to pursue things further. I won't even be offended if she doesn't get back to me. I'll be disappointed for sure but mostly I'm just dying for a message OR for enough time to have passed where I can safely say she wasn't interested and I can stop wondering if she's just busy or trying not to appear too eager. I've got more than enough work to do and I'm running/working out whenever I get out of the office tonight, I had another date last night (pretty disappointing though) and I'm talking to other girls.
 
W

WolfeTone

Member
Jayof9s said:
So much good advice in this thread gets ignored time and time again and yet this joke is the advice some people will take seriously.

Speaking of ignored advice... I am way too invested in getting a response from this one girl. We went on a date Monday and had a good time, she invited me to walk around town after we finished drinks which I took as a good sign since she could have just bailed at that point if things weren't going well. We talked and walked around for about an hour after that, despite the awful heat and humidity. I kind of botched an opportunity for a kiss that I'm still kicking myself for and I haven't heard from her since.

I sent one message later that night (through the site because I didn't ask for her number - another mistake after not dating in a while, she hasn't been on the site since the date though) just saying I had fun and referenced something from the date but it was short and to the point and I've got no intention of sending anything else if she doesn't respond but damn I hate waiting. Normally I don't care. This is the first time in ages that I've come away from a date actually wanting to pursue things further. I won't even be offended if she doesn't get back to me. I'll be disappointed for sure but mostly I'm just dying for a message OR for enough time to have passed where I can safely say she wasn't interested and I can stop wondering if she's just busy or trying not to appear too eager. I've got more than enough work to do and I'm running/working out whenever I get out of the office tonight, I had another date last night (pretty disappointing though) and I'm talking to other girls.
Click to expand...

Awesome that you had such a good date. I think you know this already, but you need to pull back a little from this girl. It's great that you're excited about her but you know yourself that you're showing signs of over-investment. You have the right approach by trying to keep busy with other stuff. If she replies, she replies. It's outside your control now so just keep living your life. I've been many a similar situation and while it does suck, it'll be over one way or another when she replies or doesn't.
 
J

Jayof9s

Member
WolfeTone said:
Awesome that you had such a good date. I think you know this already, but you need to pull back a little from this girl. It's great that you're excited about her but you know yourself that you're showing signs of over-investment. You have the right approach by trying to keep busy with other stuff. If she replies, she replies. It's outside your control now so just keep living your life. I've been many a similar situation and while it does suck, it'll be over one way or another when she replies or doesn't.
Click to expand...

Yeah. I just needed to hear that from someone else and vent a bit, not that it helps I just have to wait it out a few days. It didn't help that last night's date was pretty much the polar opposite. She was nice enough but her pictures were all old, the conversation felt pretty stale, and we had less in common. Made me go from 'it'd be nice to hear from the first girl' to 'oh god, I forgot how much I usually hate this I really want to hear back from the first girl'.
 
G

Gotdatmoney

Member
vern said:
I mean I gave what I thought was clearly ridiculous advice that he wouldn't follow, and then he did. So I'm partially to blame on that.
Click to expand...

You're a smart person, don't do this.

I'm not gonna say anything about Jason because everyone basically said what needs to be said.

I will say, this is an advice thread. No one has to take the advice given here. So it isn't our responsibility to take blame for any dumb bullshit people do or if we advise something and it turns bad its not suddenly the threads fault. Everyone has to exercise some responsibility in their life and relationships. Don't bail him out of this stupidity by playing along like you had any part of this.

If he took that clear joke seriously, how the fuck can he even browse gaf and live a functional life?
 
J

Jhoan

Member
Cross posting this from the Online Dating thread:
Date ended since girl had to go a yoga class with her friend. She was pretty bubbly in a California kind of way because she's originally from there. I think there was a point where she got mad that I cut her off conversationally. Other than that and a pigeon that pooped on our table at the place we met up at, it was good and pretty relaxing. She told me that she's babysitting a few kids near the slide she took the picture at. Didn't end up going down it since it was wet.

I'll follow up some time tonight if in a few days and ask her out again on a whim. Although I'm not going to get my hopes up that it's going to lead to something since I talked a whole lot this time around (from being excited). It reminded me of my date with med school girl so if she says that she wasn't feeling it, then I wouldn't mind being friends with her in all honesty since I got more of that vibe from her. It felt like I was hanging out with a friend.
Click to expand...

One thing I forgot to add that I didn't mention in the above was that when the pigeon pooped, I remarked that it was a good sign. She said that typically it means that people become best friends then pointed to herself and joked about it. So I feel like that's the reason it might become a platonic thing but maybe you guys see it differently. In any case, only time will tell after I follow up with her.
 
J

Jayof9s

Member
Any suggestions for a first date (via an online dating site) other than my normal stand-by of getting a drink? The girl I'm chatting with doesn't seem like a big drinker. Keeping in mind that outdoor stuff would be great (and something we both apparently like) except it's well over 100 degrees with the heat index all day every day right now, and I don't think getting or causing heat stroke or dehydration would make a great first impression.

Best I'm coming up with is going to a coffee shop or something but based on previous experience, I'm a lot worse with those kind of meet ups. I feel like some activity to help break the ice or having a drink or two really helps.

Maybe a brunch of lunch over the weekend? That sort of feels less formal than the whole going out to dinner thing. Maybe.

Edit: On another note, anyone else that's short ever have women message you first that are taller and find yourself wondering if they didn't look at your height? I don't particularly care they're taller but I do find myself always being a bit hesitant about meeting, half expecting a look of disappointment when they realize. I'm fine with my height and don't try to hide it, but it does make me feel awkward if I think they don't know, I'm not out to inadvertently catfish anyone. Mostly I feel like that because I expect women to (usually) go for guys their height or taller. It's happened a few times and I've never gone through with the meeting even though so far two of them have been incredibly attractive. To the point I'm honestly not sure why they're sending out messages first at all.
 
V

vern

Member
Jayof9s said:
Any suggestions for a first date (via an online dating site) other than my normal stand-by of getting a drink? The girl I'm chatting with doesn't seem like a big drinker. Keeping in mind that outdoor stuff would be great (and something we both apparently like) except it's well over 100 degrees with the heat index all day every day right now, and I don't think getting or causing heat stroke or dehydration would make a great first impression.

Best I'm coming up with is going to a coffee shop or something but based on previous experience, I'm a lot worse with those kind of meet ups. I feel like some activity to help break the ice or having a drink or two really helps.

Maybe a brunch of lunch over the weekend? That sort of feels less formal than the whole going out to dinner thing. Maybe.
Click to expand...

Ride go karts. Depending where you are I guess the tracks might be outside, but usually they'd have an indoor place to chill too right? It's competitive and not too pricey and fun.
 
F

FLAguy954

Junior Member
ZackieChan said:
Yeah, definitely. I can't imagine living in my hometown all my life. And Tinder sucks here.

People, please be made of sterner stuff than the posters in that other thread about dudes sending multiple messages without a response. So many in there think they are owed a final good-bye before blocking, or some other kind of courtesy. Online dating isn't for the weak of heart, but the potential benefits are amazing. Be strong.

The thread: http://m.neogaf.com/showthread.php?t=1253124
Click to expand...

Lmao that thread is ridiculous. Most of the posters there have no clue how online dating works (no one 'deserves' anything from anyone, especially if it's some stranger).
 
G

gaiages

Banned
Zaraki_Kenpachi said:
That awkward time when everyone time you answer someone's question they answer with "oh I see". Someone doesn't seem to like my career choice lol
Click to expand...

As an accountant I feel your pain. So many times people would ask my career and then be like "oh..." Or jokingly say "is that what you wanted to do when you grow up?"

People are rude sometimes lol
 
Z

Zakalwe

Banned
Was Mile's ban perma? He was a good due in this thread.

Also, getting back into the game (online mostly for now). Got my new place in Mile End (sorted for 6 months now at least) and offers of jobs (I get to choose, apparently!). Life is good, feel like I'm in a solid position to offer something decent.

Jason's Ultimatum said:
But yeah it was $6. Just wanted to rub it in her face.
Click to expand...

Dude, everyone's variations of this already, but you need to reel this shit in. Now and fast.
 
M

Messofanego

Banned
This thread haa been pretty helpful about crushing problems of over-investment and other needy behaviour. Dropped interest in like 5 women cause they haven't sent a message in more than 12 days. I don't care if you're even doing 80 hours a week, no one is that busy to send a message which just takes a couple of minutes. They're just not that interested, so no point in continuing.
 
W

Wurst

Member
Im going on my First tinder date next week. We're going to hunt Pokemon and grab a Drink afterwards. Weird how Go became such a phenomenon. The girl seems my Kind of nerdy and fun. Shes super interested in what im doing and weve had a long conversation on whatsapp. Shes cute in some pics and hm in others. Hope this goes well.

I went salsa dancing with another girl from uni last Friday and it was meh. She was super touchy, told me about her panic attacks and I didnt really like her scent, if that makes sense. She asked me if "we fit together" afterwards and I think she wanted a kiss. I had no urge to Get close to her, at all. Shes now texting me poems and pics of her friends. Its all kinds of awkward.
 
Z

Zakalwe

Banned
Wurst said:
Im going on my First tinder date next week. We're going to hunt Pokemon and grab a Drink afterwards. Weird how Go became such a phenomenon. The girl seems my Kind of nerdy and fun. Shes super interested in what im doing and weve had a long conversation on whatsapp. Shes cute in some pics and hm in others. Hope this goes well.

I went salsa dancing with another girl from uni last Friday and it was meh. She was super touchy, told me about her panic attacks and I didnt really like her scent, if that makes sense. She asked me if "we fit together" afterwards and I think she wanted a kiss. I had no urge to Get close to her, at all. Shes now texting me poems and pics of her friends. Its all kinds of
Let her know you're not interested asap.

Good luck with your new date, sounds like a good match.
Click to expand...
 
G

gaiages

Banned
Messofanego said:
This thread haa been pretty helpful about crushing problems of over-investment and other needy behaviour. Dropped interest in like 5 women cause they haven't sent a message in more than 12 days. I don't care if you're even doing 80 hours a week, no one is that busy to send a message which just takes a couple of minutes. They're just not that interested, so no point in continuing.
Click to expand...

Yikes, if someone's working 80 hrs a week they probably shouldn't really be dating anyway. When most of your waking hours are spent working and getting to work, how can you dedicate your time to another person?

But yay for your progress!
 
Z

Zakalwe

Banned
gaiages said:
Yikes, if someone's working 80 hrs a week they probably shouldn't really be dating anyway. When most of your waking hours are spent working and getting to work, how can you dedicate your time to another person?

But yay for your progress!
Click to expand...

There are plenty of people in similar positions, and all types of wants/needs. There's almost certainly a match for every lifestyle out there, as long as everyone is honest and upfront this stuff shouldn't be a reason to not look for a partner.
 
Z

Zaraki_Kenpachi

Member
gaiages said:
As an accountant I feel your pain. So many times people would ask my career and then be like "oh..." Or jokingly say "is that what you wanted to do when you grow up?"

People are rude sometimes lol
Click to expand...

Haha I'm in finance so pretty close to you but thankfully not accounting :p

But yeah, it's just awkward because I can't remember a time that I was turned off or disappointed by someone's work. It just seems weird, especially when they're all like college professions.
 
Z

Zakalwe

Banned
Zaraki_Kenpachi said:
Haha I'm in finance so pretty close to you but thankfully not accounting :p

But yeah, it's just awkward because I can't remember a time that I was turned off or disappointed by someone's work. It just seems weird, especially when they're all like college professions.
Click to expand...

A person's work doesn't define them, I find the question "what do you do for work?" pretty irritating (even though I love what I do).

I much prefer questions that delve more into "how do you enjoy to spend your time?", "what things interest you?", etc...

Writing someone off for their career is pretty stupid, especially when so many people are working jobs that are a means to an end (ie: funding study, hobbies, other interests, etc...).
 
G

gaiages

Banned
Zakalwe said:
There are plenty of people in similar positions, and all types of wants/needs. There's almost certainly a match for every lifestyle out there, as long as everyone is honest and upfront this stuff shouldn't be a reason to not look for a partner.
Click to expand...

While that's theoretically true, a lot of ppl that work that often don't practice any real work/life balance, which can really put a strain on getting into a relationship in the first place.

Everyone can always look for a relationship at any time, under any circumstance, but the reality is some things are gonna make it harder to succeed. Not having a job, having kids, working way too much, not having a car (unless it's like NYC or similar), all those can really limit your pool of potential ppl in online dating. Is it fair? Not at all, but that's just how it goes. It just means those people have to make effort in different ways... Like say the person working 80 hours a week taking a minute or two during their lunch to text a potential date back.

I suppose I misspoke in that someone like that *shouldn't* date. Just that it does still require effort from their side, and it's an effort that they may not have the time for.
 
L

Lucian Cat

Kissed a mod for a tag; liked it
Wurst said:
I went salsa dancing with another girl from uni last Friday and it was meh. She was super touchy, told me about her panic attacks and I didnt really like her scent, if that makes sense. She asked me if "we fit together" afterwards and I think she wanted a kiss. I had no urge to Get close to her, at all. Shes now texting me poems and pics of her friends. Its all kinds of awkward.
Click to expand...

Was it perfume or her body smell. Coz we're attracted to opposing pheromones or something in mates. I've noticed it in guys I've dated. Some I love the smell of and some are disgusting.
 
Z

Zakalwe

Banned
gaiages said:
While that's theoretically true, a lot of ppl that work that often don't practice any real work/life balance, which can really put a strain on getting into a relationship in the first place.

Everyone can always look for a relationship at any time, under any circumstance, but the reality is some things are gonna make it harder to succeed. Not having a job, having kids, working way too much, not having a car (unless it's like NYC or similar), all those can really limit your pool of potential ppl in online dating. Is it fair? Not at all, but that's just how it goes. It just means those people have to make effort in different ways... Like say the person working 80 hours a week taking a minute or two during their lunch to text a potential date back.

I suppose I misspoke in that someone like that *shouldn't* date. Just that it does still require effort from their side, and it's an effort that they may not have the time for.
Click to expand...

Absolutely, which is why I said being upfront and honest is essential here.

I know very ell when periods of my life aren't ripe for dating, so I disable my accounts and re-enable when I'm more stable.

Being honest with yourself is the most important part here. Can you commit in the way your presentations suggest you can? And so on...
 
Z

ZombieFred

Unconfirmed Member
Here's a good happy ending guys, I met my girlfriend of almost one year (met in person four times) and will be moving to LA and living at her place in Sherman oaks by the end of the year thanks to her dad getting lined up a job for me from one of his it contacts. I was shocked at how crazily wealthy her family was and we both made it work and her family loves me, with me just being a typical middle class Brit, and it's funny how I am from England and ready to move and everything has all worked out great and a few people hear mentioned how unlikely it would in the past.

But it has and I would never change her for the world!!! Best Pokemon partner and soul mate ever: this is a true good story here folks, just be yourself and not afraid to go into the unknown :)
 
n64coder

n64coder

Member
gaiages said:
As an accountant I feel your pain. So many times people would ask my career and then be like "oh..." Or jokingly say "is that what you wanted to do when you grow up?"
Click to expand...

Those people are moron.

Zakalwe said:
A person's work doesn't define them, I find the question "what do you do for work?" pretty irritating (even though I love what I do).

I much prefer questions that delve more into "how do you enjoy to spend your time?", "what things interest you?", etc...
Click to expand...

I always ask people what they do for work as well as their interests. If they come back that they work as a burger flipper or a bus driver, I still show interest and respect because it's genuine. If you have any social skills, it's quite easy to do so. My brother-in-law's father still works as a school bus driver. I remember asking him a question about today's kids and how different they are (good or bad) than when he first started. Stuff like that. For a burger flipper, I might ask about the cooking technologies they use and then share some of my stories from my days working in a restaurant.
 
G

Gotdatmoney

Member
Personally speaking even if it's against the direction of the general opinion I'm interested in what someone does as a job. Specifically I am interested in whether they actually like it, their attitude towards work and future plans. If someone works an assembly line or in a shop or somethinf and they actually like what they do then by all means I am cool with that. But if you dont like your job and you have no intention of pursuing something else then I do think how you view work actually matters. At least to me.

If you have ever been around people who hate their job and have zero intention of doing anything about it that shit is awful. And when you factor in money with that equation I straight up do not want to get involved in that.

There are some situations I know personally for me, lead nowhere. The job itself is less important but people who view work and career/job stuff differently than me almost always end up not being compatible with me. So job stuff matters to me personally speaking. But its a play it out thing. Not a deal breaker.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar threads

Is Mode One an effective dating strategy for men?
2
65
4K
German Hops replied
The Thought of Being in a Relationship Gives Me Anxiety
Social Opinion 2
83
5K
Bojji replied
When does losing a pet get easier?
2
79
3K
Blade2.0 replied
  • Locked
Does anyone know if girls have diferent kind of smell? (+ skin, feet, mouth, taste)
21
1K
Putonahappyface replied
How do you spend your time?
26
3K
Tams replied
Top Bottom