• Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.

Got my ass kicked by a Goose today. :(

Status
Not open for further replies.
B

BlackMage

Banned
So I was down by a little lake near my house letting my dog sniff around cause he is stuck in the house all day and needs some exercise. I took it off the leash cause it really needs to run and he never bothers anybody or runs away, anyway. So, I was watching the ducks swim around when I heard my dog yelp. I look to my right and about 10 yards from me is my dog and this giant goose.

This is no ordinary goose my friends. This is the biggest god damn goose I have ever seen in my life (I am about 6'3" the goose's top of its head comes to around my chest area)! So anyway, the goose has my dog trapped near some brush and is fucking HISSING, like a fucking snake! My dog is a little pussy and is scared of it, and now I know why.

I run towards the goliath goose hoping to scare it away, boy was that fucking stupid. As I'm running towards the goose, I realize that it is not running away so I try to stop to a halt before i run into it and I trip and fall on my face right near it. This is where it gets bad. The fucking goose charges me and before I can get completely off the ground it fucking BEAKS me (whatever a goose does with it's beak, it felt like a bite) in the back of the neck! It fucking hurt, so I managed to get up and run, but this fucking goose opens its wings and does a little hover and beaks me again in the elbow as im getting away (my sweater made it so it didnt hurt that much)! Finally the goose backs off and I get away.

So I run back to my house and standing in front of the door like a little bitch is my dog, who ran away as the goose was attacking me! Thanks for the help lassie.

So now I have this red mark in the back of my neck where it bit me or whatever and I'm wondering if geese have any diseases. Anyone know? I'm gonna go back and put that fucking goose in a rear naked choke.
 
A

Apharmd Battler

Member
I won't laugh at your plight becase this same thing happened to someone local and was on the news last year. Some kids got attacked by Geese in my sub-division. When I see Geese I move!

Don't take them for granted they will F*** you up!! :lol
 
S

sonicfan

Venerable Member
BlackMage said:
So I was down by a little lake near my house letting my dog sniff around cause he is stuck in the house all day and needs some exercise. I took it off the leash cause it really needs to run and he never bothers anybody or runs away, anyway. So, I was watching the ducks swim around when I heard my dog yelp. I look to my right and about 10 yards from me is my dog and this giant goose.

This is no ordinary goose my friends. This is the biggest god damn goose I have ever seen in my life (I am about 6'3" the goose's top of its head comes to around my chest area)! So anyway, the goose has my dog trapped near some brush and is fucking HISSING, like a fucking snake! My dog is a little pussy and is scared of it, and now I know why.

I run towards the goliath goose hoping to scare it away, boy was that fucking stupid. As I'm running towards the goose, I realize that it is not running away so I try to stop to a halt before i run into it and I trip and fall on my face right near it. This is where it gets bad. The fucking goose charges me and before I can get completely off the ground it fucking BEAKS me (whatever a goose does with it's beak, it felt like a bite) in the back of the neck! It fucking hurt, so I managed to get up and run, but this fucking goose opens its wings and does a little hover and beaks me again in the elbow as im getting away (my sweater made it so it didnt hurt that much)! Finally the goose backs off and I get away.

So I run back to my house and standing in front of the door like a little bitch is my dog, who ran away as the goose was attacking me! Thanks for the help lassie.

So now I have this red mark in the back of my neck where it bit me or whatever and I'm wondering if geese have any diseases. Anyone know? I'm gonna go back and put that fucking goose in a rear naked choke.
Click to expand...

LOL :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol
 
P

PhoenixDark

Banned
BlackMage said:
This is no ordinary goose my friends. This is the biggest god damn goose I have ever seen in my life (I am about 6'3" the goose's top of its head comes to around my chest area)! So anyway, the goose has my dog trapped near some brush and is fucking HISSING, like a fucking snake! My dog is a little pussy and is scared of it, and now I know why.
Click to expand...

lol you should have demanded some head
 
T

Tiger

Banned
Willco said:
fever4.jpg


^^^

That's you in a few days.
Click to expand...
Dude, take it easy with pics like that. Let's not turn this place into Rei-Rom. :/
 
A

Ark-AMN

Banned
birds are the descendants of dinosaurs, so yeah, they're mean m*therf****rs. :D


Hah, that should be Samuel L. Jackson's next movie. "Birds on a Plane!" :lol
 
F

Funky Papa

FUNK-Y-PPA-4
Geese are vicious creatures. My grandfather used to have a few ones and I learnt quickly to stay far from them.

Don't feel like a pussy, really.
 
C

cloudwalking

300chf ain't shit to me
Haha, pretty much the same thing happened to me when I was 10, but there was no dog involved. I was feeding ducks in the park by the lake and thought it would be a good idea to see if I could get close to this lone goose that was hanging around. Boy was that stupid.

Well, it started to chase me once I got close to it, and it caught up to me and pecked my arm. :( so I just threw some of the bread at its head, and then it left me alone. :lol I ended up running back home as fast as I could.
 
D

demon

I don't mean to alarm you but you have dogs on your face
I know a guy who got his ass kicked by a swan. It was a pet or something of some really rich guy whose yard he was working in, so he didn't want to fight back or anything. So he just stood there and took an ass whooping from the thing. He was all bruised up afterwards.
 
Z

Zylander

Member
Geese are grouchy SOB's. People should keep them instead of watch dogs to guard the house. Only problem is, they aren't fussy about who they attack.
 
B

BojTrek

Banned
You know what works in that situation... finish the scare... KICK IT... Kick it hard and it will fly away.

Those damn birds no longer migrate from Illinois and their goose shit is everywhere... they live here year-round and should be destroyed and their numbers should be reduced.

Seriously, you should have been scared... most GIRLS are scared of charging geese!
 
B

Beergut

Member
BlackMage said:
So now I have this red mark in the back of my neck where it bit me or whatever and I'm wondering if geese have any diseases. Anyone know?
Click to expand...
Just make sure you get to a temple within 3 days.
 
P

pixelfish

Banned
:lol I know people who keep geese and peacocks as guard birds instead of dogs because they go apeshit when strangers come into the yard.

I do feel your pain as I was attacked by a goose as a youngster. What geese do to make their bites more painful is to grab your skin and then they twist like a hard pinch.
 
P

pinkatrophe

Member
:lol

Geese must be the crips of the bird world.


But damn, I think i'd be totally freaked out more if the bird was a 4 foot pelican. As cool as they seem, I think they'd be freaky as hell to have near you, but I'm speaking as someone who doesn't live close to a coastline and has never seen one in person.
 
M

Miguel

Member
So that's how Frank Robinson got Soriano to play left field.


"You play left field, or I let the goose loose."

619043.jpg

"Somebody call me?"


05RobinsonFrank.jpg

"I should whip you upside yo head!"
 
Jade Knight 08

Jade Knight 08

Member
Well, now you know what goose do!!!! :lol :lol :lol

I owned a goose but sadly he died back in 2003. i remembered i got owned by my goose, Donald, and it bit me in the right cheek (my ass).

My gawd, it hurts so much i couldn't sit down. One huge blood mark under my skin. I literally thought i was going to die when i saw it in the mirror. I never felt such sheer pain when it bit me. Hellava a pinch!! Along with flapping his wings to to beat my legs with it. The goose wing beatings hurt far more than the pinching bill. Why, cuz, you can feel his wing bones!!!


I learned my lesson that you never give chase to any goose or large animal. Cuz in the end you always get owned by it just like you did when you tried to save your
pussy
dog!!!



Goose is scared of snakes! Get yourself some fake snake and carry it with you when you go out next time for dog walking. If the goose starts acting funny just show the fake snake to it and he'll run away and leave you alone. Whatever you doDO NOT EGG the GOOSE ON with the fake snake cuz it will figure out that it's not real and you just taunting it.
 
T

Teddman

Member
Just start carrying a sturdy walking stick, one good home run swing ought to have any goose thinking twice about beaking ya again.
 
F

Fragamemnon

Member
Giant Canada Geese are grumpy little creatures in general, but this is the time of year where they are pairing off into nesting territories and they are VERY territorial at this time. It should be no surprise that it came after you after getting agitated by your dog (geese do not like dogs).

Hardly the worst bird to run into though. Agitating a nesting Great Horned or Great Grey owl too much can result in some serious harm-they've been known to dive bomb and rake people with their talons if they have young on the nest.
 
O

Oldschoolgamer

The physical form of blasphemy
ge-attacking-geese-1.jpg


"Get em boys!"

canadagooseattack.gif


"Yea, yo damned dog was a bitch. WHAT U GONE DO NOW!"





Sorry that happened. I remember being attacked by a bird once
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar threads

Need Major Finance and Life Advice
2
71
3K
AJUMP23 replied
Ultimate high school farts?
2
50
3K
ParaSeoul replied
My family has owned a lot of pet's. I want to tell you about them
25
1K
Badlucktroll replied
Prozac made me go nuts (triggered a manic episode) and the resulting explosions ruined my relationship
0
1
Puscifer replied
[Yahoo! News] Breastfeeding mom fights off bald eagle to save pet goose
News Science
8
2K
Doom85 replied
Top Bottom