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Got my ass kicked by a Goose today. :(

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C

CurseoftheGods

Banned
heavy liquid said:
http://www.thecurrentonline.com/med...3271649&sourcedomain=www.thecurrentonline.com

1ik8219c.jpg


l54z37q1.jpg
Click to expand...

omfg... =[

I'll be sure to have a gun on me whenever I go to a place with geese around.

Which will be never.
 
J

JRPereira

Member
Funky Papa said:
Geese are vicious creatures. My grandfather used to have a few ones and I learnt quickly to stay far from them.

Don't feel like a pussy, really.
Click to expand...

fatalfury_geese.jpg


Geese is a vicious creature!
 
M

Miguel

Member
Teddman said:
Just start carrying a sturdy walking stick, one good home run swing ought to have any goose thinking twice about beaking ya again.
Click to expand...


[Bill enters the office from the outer corridor. He is walking with a
cane, swinging it and tapping it with florish as he walks past Catherine,
sitting at her desk.]

DAVE: Hey Bill, something wrong with your leg?

BILL: Not that I'm aware of, but thanks for asking.

DAVE: Oh ... Well, if there's nothing wrong with your leg, then ... uh why
the cane?

BILL: Wha?

DAVE: The cane. The walking stick.

BILL: Oh, you mean my cane! Yeah, I picked it up at an antique store
during lunch. They say she's over a hundred years old, hand carved
mahogany with a [taps cane] solid brass tip. What's wrong Dave, don't you
like my cane?

billcane.jpg


DAVE: Again Bill, why do you have a cane?

BILL: [To Catherine] You like my cane, don't you Catherine?

CATH: It's a cane, Bill. Who cares.

BILL: You see, it's like the old saying, "Everybody loves a cane"

DAVE: No, Bill. I think the old saying is "Everybody loves a clown."
Which is what you look like with that thing.

BILL: Ahh! You're jealous of her, aren't you?

DAVE: No Bill. No, I ... I'm not jealous of her. It's just that it's
such an obvious affectation. I mean, it's just a ... a desperate bid for
attention.

BILL: Maybe, or maybe I just like canes.

DAVE: But, Bill, you're not using the cane for anything. A cane should
have a function.

[A man walks into the office]

DAVE: [To man] Excuse me, can I help you?

MAN : Yeah, I'm looking for uh, Chapman Graphic Arts. Are they on this
floor?

DAVE: Oh, the graphic arts place, yes ...

BILL: [Interrupting] Allow me. [Bill gestures with the cane artistically
for the rest of this paragraph] You my good man are going to get back on
the elevator, go down one floor, step off the elevator turn the left.
[Sing song] Walk down the hallway and the graphic arts shop is one, two,
three, four, five doors down on the right. Just open the door and ...
you're home.

MAN : Thank you!

BILL: Just glad I could be of service.

[The man heads out and Dave heads towards his office. Bill grabs a bagel
and puts it over the end of his cane.]

BILL: Bagel, Dave?

[Bill slings the bagel past Dave and through Dave's office door. Dave
jumps in surprise as it flies past him.]
 
S

SFA_AOK

Member
It was probably raged up on Bird Flu. Enjoy your not-so-slow and painful death!

But seriously, thanks for posting about it, good for a laugh :)
 
A

atomsk

Party Pooper
a few years ago when i was going to school, apparently there was a goose nest near the parking lot. i was walking to my car one day, and all the sudden 2 geese just start charging at me.

took awhile to fake them out and get in my damn car.
 
J

jetpacks was yes

Member
Miguel said:
[Bill enters the office from the outer corridor. He is walking with a
cane, swinging it and tapping it with florish as he walks past Catherine,
sitting at her desk.]

DAVE: Hey Bill, something wrong with your leg?

BILL: Not that I'm aware of, but thanks for asking.

DAVE: Oh ... Well, if there's nothing wrong with your leg, then ... uh why
the cane?

BILL: Wha?

DAVE: The cane. The walking stick.

BILL: Oh, you mean my cane! Yeah, I picked it up at an antique store
during lunch. They say she's over a hundred years old, hand carved
mahogany with a [taps cane] solid brass tip. What's wrong Dave, don't you
like my cane?

billcane.jpg


DAVE: Again Bill, why do you have a cane?

BILL: [To Catherine] You like my cane, don't you Catherine?

CATH: It's a cane, Bill. Who cares.

BILL: You see, it's like the old saying, "Everybody loves a cane"

DAVE: No, Bill. I think the old saying is "Everybody loves a clown."
Which is what you look like with that thing.

BILL: Ahh! You're jealous of her, aren't you?

DAVE: No Bill. No, I ... I'm not jealous of her. It's just that it's
such an obvious affectation. I mean, it's just a ... a desperate bid for
attention.

BILL: Maybe, or maybe I just like canes.

DAVE: But, Bill, you're not using the cane for anything. A cane should
have a function.

[A man walks into the office]

DAVE: [To man] Excuse me, can I help you?

MAN : Yeah, I'm looking for uh, Chapman Graphic Arts. Are they on this
floor?

DAVE: Oh, the graphic arts place, yes ...

BILL: [Interrupting] Allow me. [Bill gestures with the cane artistically
for the rest of this paragraph] You my good man are going to get back on
the elevator, go down one floor, step off the elevator turn the left.
[Sing song] Walk down the hallway and the graphic arts shop is one, two,
three, four, five doors down on the right. Just open the door and ...
you're home.

MAN : Thank you!

BILL: Just glad I could be of service.

[The man heads out and Dave heads towards his office. Bill grabs a bagel
and puts it over the end of his cane.]

BILL: Bagel, Dave?

[Bill slings the bagel past Dave and through Dave's office door. Dave
jumps in surprise as it flies past him.]
Click to expand...


:lol love that episode.
 
S

Sasquatch

Member
Some geese have a nest near the entrance to the office building I work in. Every year an email is sent out to the employees warning them to stay away from them. I've only been hissed at once, and it was scary. I really want to see it go after someone and have the person punch the goose in the face. That image is hilarious in my head.
 
M

Miguel

Member
OB1 said:
:lol love that episode.
Click to expand...

The end of the show is the funniest part.


[Dave walks over and falls back on the couch, tired.]
[Bill Enters]
BILL: Dave.
DAVE: Oh. Bill, great.
BILL: I wanted to apologize for accusing you of stealing my cane.
DAVE: Uh huh.
BILL: [Bill sits on Dave's coffee table and begins feeling under the couch
and under the couch cushions] Though we've only worked together a short
amount of time, I've always known you to be fair and honest. And those
are good qualities Dave, and I hope you never lose them.
DAVE: Bill, it's not under my couch.
BILL: [Lifting one side of the couch] You mean it's not under the edge of
the couch!
DAVE: Ok, Bill for the last time, I did not take your cane!
BILL: [Starts feeling the floor with his foot] What's under here? Feels
hollow.
DAVE: Bill, you're aware that you're making an ass of yourself.
BILL: Ok, I'm sorry. (sighs) I guess my cane is lost, and I'll just have
to accept that and get on with my life.
[Bill turns and begins to leave, but stops]
BILL: You stepped in front of the window.
DAVE: I did what?
BILL: When I moved to the door, you moved in front of the window as if you
were protecting something.
DAVE: Ok, Bill. Bill, I'm asking you to leave
BILL: You taped it to the side of the building or under the window sill.
I read your book you magnificent bastard!
DAVE: Ok, Bill I ... I'm ... I'm now ordering you to leave.
BILL: I'll leave, but first I'm looking out the window.
DAVE: Bill you're going to feel stupid when it's not out there.
[Bill walks over to the window and opens the shade.]
BILL: It's out there. I know it's out there.
DAVE: Bill.
BILL: Yes Dave?
DAVE: [Smiling] ...I stole your cane
DAVE: Bill, I ... I [He walks over to the window and grabs the cane from
under the windowsill.] I'm sorry, Bill. I ... I don't know why ... Why I
... I did it. And ... and Again, I'm ... I'm sorry Bill.
BILL: That is the most childish and immature thing I've ever seen you do.
DAVE: No this is.
[Dave breaks the cane over his knee]
DAVE: Ah, but you knew I was gonna do that.
BILL: No, that one caught me by surprise.
DAVE: Oh! Oh, well. What do we do now?
BILL: Start behaving like adults?
DAVE: An excellent suggestion.
BILL: Then we're of one mind.
DAVE: Uh huh.
[Bill walks out of the office. Dave closes the door and goes to lie on
the couch again. Bill re-enters the office.]
BILL: You do realize I'm just going to buy another cane, don't you?
DAVE: Yeah, and I'm just going to steal it again.
BILL: Touche. [To Beth (offscreen in the main office)] Beth?
[A cane comes flying in, and Bill catches it.]
BILL: Here's one you can take right now.
[Bill stands it up in the cushions of the couch. Another cane flies in]
BILL: This one you can break later.
[Bill puts it on Dave's desk.]
BILL: Here's one for the Hamptons.
[Bill throws it down on the floor by the couch. Another cane flies in]
BILL: This one I like. I keep.
[He tucks it under one arm. Another cane flies in.]
BILL: This one displeases me.
[Bill throws it back out.]
 
B

BorkBork

The Legend of BorkBork: BorkBorkity Borking
Miguel said:
The end of the show is the funniest part.


[Dave walks over and falls back on the couch, tired.]
[Bill Enters]
BILL: Dave.
DAVE: Oh. Bill, great.
BILL: I wanted to apologize for accusing you of stealing my cane.
DAVE: Uh huh.
BILL: [Bill sits on Dave's coffee table and begins feeling under the couch
and under the couch cushions] Though we've only worked together a short
amount of time, I've always known you to be fair and honest. And those
are good qualities Dave, and I hope you never lose them.
DAVE: Bill, it's not under my couch.
BILL: [Lifting one side of the couch] You mean it's not under the edge of
the couch!
DAVE: Ok, Bill for the last time, I did not take your cane!
BILL: [Starts feeling the floor with his foot] What's under here? Feels
hollow.
DAVE: Bill, you're aware that you're making an ass of yourself.
BILL: Ok, I'm sorry. (sighs) I guess my cane is lost, and I'll just have
to accept that and get on with my life.
[Bill turns and begins to leave, but stops]
BILL: You stepped in front of the window.
DAVE: I did what?
BILL: When I moved to the door, you moved in front of the window as if you
were protecting something.
DAVE: Ok, Bill. Bill, I'm asking you to leave
BILL: You taped it to the side of the building or under the window sill.
I read your book you magnificent bastard!
DAVE: Ok, Bill I ... I'm ... I'm now ordering you to leave.
BILL: I'll leave, but first I'm looking out the window.
DAVE: Bill you're going to feel stupid when it's not out there.
[Bill walks over to the window and opens the shade.]
BILL: It's out there. I know it's out there.
DAVE: Bill.
BILL: Yes Dave?
DAVE: [Smiling] ...I stole your cane
DAVE: Bill, I ... I [He walks over to the window and grabs the cane from
under the windowsill.] I'm sorry, Bill. I ... I don't know why ... Why I
... I did it. And ... and Again, I'm ... I'm sorry Bill.
BILL: That is the most childish and immature thing I've ever seen you do.
DAVE: No this is.
[Dave breaks the cane over his knee]
DAVE: Ah, but you knew I was gonna do that.
BILL: No, that one caught me by surprise.
DAVE: Oh! Oh, well. What do we do now?
BILL: Start behaving like adults?
DAVE: An excellent suggestion.
BILL: Then we're of one mind.
DAVE: Uh huh.
[Bill walks out of the office. Dave closes the door and goes to lie on
the couch again. Bill re-enters the office.]
BILL: You do realize I'm just going to buy another cane, don't you?
DAVE: Yeah, and I'm just going to steal it again.
BILL: Touche. [To Beth (offscreen in the main office)] Beth?
[A cane comes flying in, and Bill catches it.]
BILL: Here's one you can take right now.
[Bill stands it up in the cushions of the couch. Another cane flies in]
BILL: This one you can break later.
[Bill puts it on Dave's desk.]
BILL: Here's one for the Hamptons.
[Bill throws it down on the floor by the couch. Another cane flies in]
BILL: This one I like. I keep.
[He tucks it under one arm. Another cane flies in.]
BILL: This one displeases me.
[Bill throws it back out.]
Click to expand...

I love Newsradio. and this thread. :lol :lol
 
B

BuG

Member
I didn't see this thread before but I've had Geese attack me, too.

My friend and I were about 11 or 12 and down at the local lake riding our bikes when we thought it would be hilarious to chase the animals around, as you do when you're that age and a little bit stupid. We were riding our bikes slowly trying not to startle our potential victims when we happened upon three Geese minding their own business. Taking only a moment to give each other an approving glance we charged.

Honing in from about 15-20 metres we managed to build up some serious speed. I don't know how they managed to realise what we were up to but before we even got within five or so metres of them two had already turned about face and began their approach with spread wings and that distinct noise, while the slightly smaller Goose simply watched on. We jumped off our bikes, letting them roll off to a crash, and ran for our fucking lives. We hid about 50 metres away keeping an eye on our bikes until the crazed birds left the god damn vicinity, at which point we snatched up our transport and got the hell out of there.

Fucking Geese. RAPE TIME indeed. :'(

edit: Holy shit. This picture looks almost exactly what happened to me.

ge-attacking-geese-1.jpg
 
M

MadraptorMan

Member
If you think about it, geese could be the descendants of t. rex or some other horrible carnivorous dinosaur. So, don't feel too bad for running! Just look how scary they look coming right at the camera in that grassy hill picture right above this post. Looks just like t. rex. from Jurassic Park.
 
Dr. Kitty Muffins

Dr. Kitty Muffins

Member
I take it there are no gun owners in this thread? :lol


































Everyone knows that mankind invented guns because of swarming Thetan geese hordes (sent by Lord Xenu) raping the planet. This is known as "Incident 12".
 
G

Grug

Member
Geese must have decided at some stage in their evolutionary process that they were just not going to take ANY shit from anyone anymore.
 
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