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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already

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A

always crazy bacon

Banned
JadedWriter said:
Online dating is fickle. I occasionally go "still single huh?" mentally. Peruse see "no black guys" or some stupid height requirements and just leave knowing why they're still single.
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What a bitter little man you are. As I said in my previous post you don't know the account is active and they probably are getting lots of dates. Lot's of choice, so why commit to the first person they match with.

JadedWriter said:
Everybody just want every fucking box checked off, which is impossible. I don't even think people are willing to compromise or put any kind of work into anything these days. I'm probably wrong...somewhere in this post cause well...it's been a long fucking day.
Click to expand...

You've just described yourself.

That post is all wrong, not just somewhere.
 
D

Dr Duncan Steel

Member
Dr Duncan Steel said:
Was supposed to meet up with this girl yesterday (which was arranged about 3 days prior) in which she cancelled saying, "Sorry I forgot dude, I made other plans" and then I read her Snapchat story (because that's always a good thing) where she's making plans with another dude who's way better looking than I am for that very same night. Now I'm listening to "I Don't Care Anymore" by Phil Collins on loop for the past hour.

sfD9mjV.gif


Was really confident about this one too. Such is life I guess.
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bit of an update on this one but the girl and I are classmates and semester ended and she suggested she wanted to get together this weekend or some shit like that and I was like dude fine but I also called her out on the whole flaking part but she was still down. Like the logical thing is to not do anything at all and go in thinking if she really wants to make plans this time; she should be the one hitting me up now. Like the ball's in her court this time right? Do absolutely nothing, nada, zip, right?

should I hit her up tho?
 
M

Moose Biscuits

It would be extreamly painful...
JadedWriter said:
Christ I'm an asshole
Click to expand...

Don't worry about it, man. You've had a shitty experience today, that'll do a number on you so it's understandable if you're acting out a bit.

The important thing is to get a good night's sleep, dust yourself off in the morning and see what you can do from there. How you're acting reminds me a bit of me sometimes, when I feel like I've been fucked over (whether that's the case or not) I want to make sure other people know I'm not happy about it.
 
A

Advocatus Diaboli

Member
JadedWriter said:
Christ I'm an asshole
Click to expand...

So stop being one. It's really that simple.

Dr Duncan Steel said:
bit of an update on this one but the girl and I are classmates and semester ended and she suggested she wanted to get together this weekend or some shit like that and I was like dude fine but I also called her out on the whole flaking part but she was still down. Like the logical thing is to not do anything at all and go in thinking if she really wants to make plans this time; she should be the one hitting me up now. Like the ball's in her court this time right? Do absolutely nothing, nada, zip, right?

should I hit her up tho?
Click to expand...

Why do you even want to spend time with someone who disrespected you? Granted, the flaking wasn't super egregious -- and she was completely forthcoming about making other plans, but don't hit her up. See if she actually makes an effort. And good on you, seriously, for having sufficient self-respect to call her out on flaking.
 
J

JadedWriter

Member
Moose Biscuits said:
Don't worry about it, man. You've had a shitty experience today, that'll do a number on you so it's understandable if you're acting out a bit.

The important thing is to get a good night's sleep, dust yourself off in the morning and see what you can do from there. How you're acting reminds me a bit of me sometimes, when I feel like I've been fucked over (whether that's the case or not) I want to make sure other people know I'm not happy about it.
Click to expand...
Kind of just feels like I should just stop dating for a bit. I think I just do more harm than good and a person is just better off not really having me in their life, especially since I can't even figure what I even bring to a relationship, which is where I got into a heap of trouble. I don't know what I add to that woman's life, so I just clammed up and acted like an empty body. Didn't even really start acting like anything till she made it obvious she wanted no more and I started begging her in a way to give me another chance.
 
D

Dr Duncan Steel

Member
Advocatus Diaboli said:
Why do you even want to spend time with someone who disrespected you? Granted, the flaking wasn't super egregious -- and she was completely forthcoming about making other plans, but don't hit her up. See if she actually makes an effort. And good on you, seriously, for having sufficient self-respect to call her out on flaking.
Click to expand...

I kinda made her out as this sort of monster, but she's actually pretty cool. That's why that whole thing threw me off guard. We went out a couple of time before, made out a couple times before, and we generally have a positive vibe towards one another. She's moving out of the city in a month though so I feel like it's a lose-lose situation. Not looking for anything serious but I do like her, even though what she did was in fact shitty. But yeah I ain't doing shit then. She really wanted to do something for my birthday (3 WEEKS FROM NOW) so there's a lot up in the air.
 
M

Moose Biscuits

It would be extreamly painful...
JadedWriter said:
Kind of just feels like I should just stop dating for a bit. I think I just do more harm than good and a person is just better off not really having me in their life, especially since I can't even figure what I even bring to a relationship, which is where I got into a heap of trouble. I don't know what I add to that woman's life, so I just clammed up and acted like an empty body. Didn't even really start acting like anything till she made it obvious she wanted no more and I started begging her in a way to give me another chance.
Click to expand...

Well, I don't know what time it is where you are but if it's late I'd suggest what I said earlier, try to get a good night's sleep and see how you feel in the morning once the sting of what's happened has worn off (even slightly). You might feel the same, might feel differently, but you'll be more considered in your thoughts at least.
 
A

AnAnole

Member
JadedWriter said:
Online dating is fickle. I occasionally go "still single huh?" mentally. Peruse see "no black guys" or some stupid height requirements and just leave knowing why they're still single. Everybody just want every fucking box checked off, which is impossible. I don't even think people are willing to compromise or put any kind of work into anything these days. I'm probably wrong...somewhere in this post cause well...it's been a long fucking day.

I'm quiet and self loathing, especially now. Yes you're right this isn't the best kind of mind set to be going out on a date with.
Click to expand...

100% agreed
 
L

Leeness

Member
JadedWriter said:
Online dating is fickle. I occasionally go "still single huh?" mentally. Peruse see "no black guys" or some stupid height requirements and just leave knowing why they're still single. Everybody just want every fucking box checked off, which is impossible. I don't even think people are willing to compromise or put any kind of work into anything these days.
Click to expand...

JadedWriter said:
6.5 at best, with a bit of a big brain multiplier thrown in coupled with my own desperation and "not dissu shitto again" exhaustion.
Click to expand...

"Women will never compromise"
"She was average at best"
 
N

No_Style

Member
AcridMeat said:
I find it amusing that it's been almost a year and when I first get these apps back on my phone I'm seeing some of the same women.

I guess it isn't that long of a time but to see the same pictures as well is interesting to me.
Click to expand...

Many people don't go out of their way to deactivate accounts. I just delete the apps for most of them and deactivate those that make it easy to.
 
M

Moose Biscuits

It would be extreamly painful...
JadedWriter said:
6.5 at best, with a bit of a big brain multiplier thrown in coupled with my own desperation and "not dissu shitto again" exhaustion.
Click to expand...

Weird. Or maybe just me; I find it hard personally to imagine myself begging someone to stay in a relationship with me unless it was for purely physical reasons. If someone doesn't want to be around me, and it's not required for us to be around each other (for work related reasons etc) then whatever, bye I guess.

Maybe this attitude would change if I got into dating though, I can definitely see how putting a lot of effort in for nothing would suck. Not a fan of putting in effort without a good chance of return.
 
J

JadedWriter

Member
Moose Biscuits said:
Weird. Or maybe just me; I find it hard personally to imagine myself begging someone to stay in a relationship with me unless it was for purely physical reasons. If someone doesn't want to be around me, and it's not required for us to be around each other (for work related reasons etc) then whatever, bye I guess.

Maybe this attitude would change if I got into dating though, I can definitely see how putting a lot of effort in for nothing would suck. Not a fan of putting in effort without a good chance of return.
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This was the second woman I have seen in person since I broke up with my ex last year and I'm pretty sure this will probably be my last date this year.
 
M

Moose Biscuits

It would be extreamly painful...
JadedWriter said:
This was the second woman I have seen in person since I broke up with my ex last year and I'm pretty sure this will probably be my last date this year.
Click to expand...

Wow, that's impressive in its own way. Do you stay in your home most of the time?

Or wait, do you mean the second woman you've seen in a dating/romantic context? It's probably that now I think about it. Do you try your hand at dating regularly/often? Is this the first woman to agree to go out with you after a string of ignored matches etc?
 
J

JadedWriter

Member
Moose Biscuits said:
Wow, that's impressive in its own way. Do you stay in your home most of the time?

Or wait, do you mean the second woman you've seen in a dating/romantic context? It's probably that now I think about it. Do you try your hand at dating regularly/often? Is this the first woman to agree to go out with you after a string of ignored matches etc?
Click to expand...
I leave my room, I just don't interact publicly with random women. I try to date and as evidenced by the contents of this thread fail spectacularly at it. I get ghosted a lot, last date was in July of 2016.
 
A

AnAnole

Member
Okcupid did a study where they found that 80% of men were unattractive. Fortunately, I'm fit and lean and my inbox is relatively full and I have a good response rate and I can go on dates with fairly attractive women often. I find a large swath of women attractive, different body types, etc.

I was very overweight for a while and was completely ignored. I was somewhat overweight for a while and still almost completely ignored except for by 400 lb fatties. 30 lbs overweight and that's enough to dissaude all but the most desperate women.

And then I lost all my excess weight and suddenly looked like a celebrity and it was like a flip was switched.

Yet still more boxes to be checked by shallow women.

It's time for women to start changing their unreasonable standards.
 
M

Moose Biscuits

It would be extreamly painful...
JadedWriter said:
I leave my room, I just don't interact publicly with random women. I try to date and as evidenced by the contents of this thread fail spectacularly at it. I get ghosted a lot, last date was in July of 2016.
Click to expand...

Oh, I see. I was confused, although I've never dated I do still see attractive women out and about, and even interact with some of them at my workplace.

From everything I've been told you've got to expect a lot of failure when dating unless you're really attractive or have money or have a good personality. I guess it's that thing where you've got to decide whether the chance of a relationship with someone you're into is worth putting the effort in and failing most of the time. I mean there's no guarantee you'll ever find who you want, you could spend your entire life looking for Mrs Right but never encounter her; she may not even exist, or may have never existed. I don't believe in the theory that there's someone for everyone; to paraphrase someone else, that seems a bit too convenient a system to happen in real life, especially given how complex our society is. If you keep trying though, you may eventually lower your standards until you find someone who'll do; and in a way, isn't that the same thing?
 
L

Leeness

Member
AnAnole said:
Okcupid did a study where they found that 80% of men were unattractive. Fortunately, I'm fit and lean and my inbox is relatively full and I have a good response rate and I can go on dates with fairly attractive women often. I find a large swath of women attractive, different body types, etc.

I was very overweight for a while and was completely ignored. I was somewhat overweight for a while and still almost completely ignored except for by 400 lb fatties. 30 lbs overweight and that's enough to dissaude all but the most desperate women.

And then I lost all my excess weight and suddenly looked like a celebrity and it was like a flip was switched.

Yet still more boxes to be checked by shallow women.

It's time for women to start changing their unreasonable standards.
Click to expand...

That chip on your shoulder must hurt.
 
A

Advocatus Diaboli

Member
AnAnole said:
Okcupid did a study where they found that 80% of men were unattractive. Fortunately, I'm fit and lean and my inbox is relatively full and I have a good response rate and I can go on dates with fairly attractive women often. I find a large swath of women attractive, different body types, etc.

I was very overweight for a while and was completely ignored. I was somewhat overweight for a while and still almost completely ignored except for by 400 lb fatties. 30 lbs overweight and that's enough to dissaude all but the most desperate women.

And then I lost all my excess weight and suddenly looked like a celebrity and it was like a flip was switched.

Yet still more boxes to be checked by shallow women.

It's time for women to start changing their unreasonable standards.
Click to expand...

I initially misread your username as AnAHole.
 
A

AnAnole

Member
Leeness said:
Very scientific and conclusive, yes 🤔
Click to expand...

Is that you in your profile pic? You're average. But that means you could probably have a decent, above average looking dude without much effort. Don't you live in NYC? Why are you still single - there are probably plenty of men that fit that description that would respond to a simple hello who happen to live relatively close by. What are you waiting for? My. perfect?
 
J

JadedWriter

Member
Moose Biscuits said:
Oh, I see. I was confused, although I've never dated I do still see attractive women out and about, and even interact with some of them at my workplace.

From everything I've been told you've got to expect a lot of failure when dating unless you're really attractive or have money or have a good personality. I guess it's that thing where you've got to decide whether the chance of a relationship with someone you're into is worth putting the effort in and failing most of the time. I mean there's no guarantee you'll ever find who you want, you could spend your entire life looking for Mrs Right but never encounter her; she may not even exist, or may have never existed. I don't believe in the theory that there's someone for everyone; to paraphrase someone else, that seems a bit too convenient a system to happen in real life, especially given how complex our society is. If you keep trying though, you may eventually lower your standards until you find someone who'll do; and in a way, isn't that the same thing?
Click to expand...
I actually try to be pretty flexible. I did say what I usually "want" ends up being crazy so I try to switch it around a bit. I settled with my ex and got thrown into a family situation that made relationship advancement impossible so when I had to move to a different town we called it quits. I'm willing to work with the people I try to date, but my personality type is too much of a challenge.
AnAnole said:
Is that you in your profile pic? You're average. But that means you could probably have a decent, above average looking dude without much effort. Don't you live in NYC? Why are you still single - there are probably plenty of men that fit that description that would respond to a simple hello who happen to live relatively close by. What are you waiting for? My. perfect?
Click to expand...
You're walking a slippery slope with this post. Ease up a bit please.
 
A

Advocatus Diaboli

Member
Leeness said:
Very scientific and conclusive, yes 🤔
Click to expand...

The conclusion is hyperbolic; I don't see how one can draw it from the data, either. What the means is that, of the self-selecting OKCupid population, most men fit into the category one rung above "least attractive," as determined by the site's algorithms, since you can't actually rate someone (e.g., from 1 to 10) for attractiveness.

I simply don't get how you can conclude "all women are shallow bitches" from that study.

Though, I'd love to see a further breakdown from how people rated others' attractiveness, filtered by how attractive the rater was.
 
L

Leeness

Member
AnAnole said:
Is that you in your profile pic? You're average. But that means you could probably have a decent, above average looking dude without much effort. Don't you live in NYC? Why are you still single - there are probably plenty of men that fit that description that would respond to a simple hello who happen to live relatively close by. What are you waiting for? My. perfect?
Click to expand...

Yes absolutely. You have me down perfectly. I'm an average looking shallow bitch, just like you assume.
 
S

Stopdoor

Member
JadedWriter said:
I leave my room, I just don't interact publicly with random women. I try to date and as evidenced by the contents of this thread fail spectacularly at it. I get ghosted a lot, last date was in July of 2016.
Click to expand...

I'm not hardcore into it right now, but honestly even getting to the stage of being ghosted sounds appealing to me right now, so you should maybe appreciate yourself a bit more haha. Some people have trouble coaxing messages or dates at all.
 
M

Moose Biscuits

It would be extreamly painful...
JadedWriter said:
I actually try to be pretty flexible. I did say what I usually "want" ends up being crazy so I try to switch it around a bit. I settled with my ex and got thrown into a family situation that made relationship advancement impossible so when I had to move to a different town we called it quits. I'm willing to work with the people I try to date, but my personality type is too much of a challenge.
Click to expand...

If it is, as I've mentioned you don't have to date. I'm 26 and have never dated, been in a relationship or been physical with a girl/woman. I'm pretty okay with it most of the time, I've like living on my own ever since I started doing so, and I have people I can talk to online or off if I want interaction (plus the internet). The only thing I really get urge for is the physical intimacy (especially in summer where every woman starts wearing less and less), and that's when I think about trying dating. But it's never strong enough of an urge for me to actually try it.

I don't know if you're the same though, so maybe that's not an option for you.
 
A

always crazy bacon

Banned
AnAnole said:
Is that you in your profile pic? You're average. But that means you could probably have a decent, above average looking dude without much effort. Don't you live in NYC? Why are you still single - there are probably plenty of men that fit that description that would respond to a simple hello who happen to live relatively close by. What are you waiting for? My. perfect?
Click to expand...

Uh Oh.. asshole gater confirmed.
 
J

JadedWriter

Member
Moose Biscuits said:
If it is, as I've mentioned you don't have to date. I'm 26 and have never dated, been in a relationship or been physical with a girl/woman. I'm pretty okay with it most of the time, I've like living on my own ever since I started doing so, and I have people I can talk to online or off if I want interaction (plus the internet). The only thing I really get urge for is the physical intimacy (especially in summer where every woman starts wearing less and less), and that's when I think about trying dating. But it's never strong enough of an urge for me to actually try it.

I don't know if you're the same though, so maybe that's not an option for you.
Click to expand...
I'm 32 and don't like being alone all the time, not to mention I'm not a robot.
Stopdoor said:
I'm not hardcore into it right now, but honestly even getting to the stage of being ghosted sounds appealing to me right now, so you should maybe appreciate yourself a bit more haha. Some people have trouble coaxing messages or dates at all.
Click to expand...
Being ghosted is fine if you don't get attached to people. I idiotically do so it's not the most fun for me.
 
S

Shanlei91

Sonic handles my blue balls
AnAnole said:
Okcupid+girls+standards+light+brown+big2+2+high+4+me+big2+light+brown_9b9d53_5839488.jpg


Care to explain why most men are revolting to women?
Click to expand...

Numbers are skewed due to guys blindly swiping right on Quickmatch?

AnAnole said:
You're right about something in this post. Take your pick(s)

And why is average a bad thing. most people are average.
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I can't decide if you're being awful or putting on a solid Sheldon Cooper impersonation.

JadedWriter said:
This was the second woman I have seen in person since I broke up with my ex last year and I'm pretty sure this will probably be my last date this year.
Click to expand...

We can make the theme of that NYC GAF meetup they're trying to get the both of us to go to be WingMan-Night. 👍
 
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