• Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.

My fucked up life UPDATE to my cheating girlfriend.

Status
Not open for further replies.
D

DrFurbs

Member
You guys remember the thread I put up here about my girlfriend cheating.

I got a text the other day from a number I didn't recognise since I blocked her. I read it and it said " we need to talk please - its important. I knew immediately what this was. I agreed and we met. She is pregnant. She doesn't know if its his or mine. I argued that while there is a 50% chance of it being mine the likelihood is actually quite low because in 3 years of having sex with her and pulling out - we never had any pregnancy scares. She agreed that it is probably his (although we both know there is a chance).

I have no fucking clue what to do. If it is mine - I still want nothing to do with her. She wants me in her life even as friend simply because of what I can bring to her in terms of friendship and stability and support. She said she still loves me and this was a massive mistake. Shes thinking of an abortion too. I don't think she will..shes catholic and semi religious.

How fucked up is this shit. Jesus
 
T

TheOnlyOneHeEverFeared

Member
Get a test to find out whose it is.
If she wants to keep it, you support that child in every possible way, regardless of your feelings towards her.
If not, then you guys can go your separate ways and forget about each other. Simple.
 
BIGWORM

BIGWORM

Member
Be there for the kid, if it's yours and she decides to keep it. Don't even give her an inkling that you would be around because of her. She fucked up. Wipe your hands clean of her physically and emotionally.
 
B

Boem

Member
Get a test to find out if you're the father, especially if she's going to keep the baby. You don't want to keep doubting that.

Also, for future reference, pulling out is a terrible way of preventing pregnancies. There is such a thing as pre-ejaculate, and that will get her just as pregnant. Something to keep in mind with your next girlfriend - you really don't want situations like this again.

Good luck man. I had a friend in the exact same situation, and he's a young dad now. It's tough. Get a test and find out how serious she is about the abortion and discuss other options if necessary.
 
Winter John

Winter John

Member
She is not interested in you for your friendship. She is interested in you for what she can get out of you. That is all. She's already made a fool of you. Don't let it happen again.
 
Q

Qasiel

Member
After reading your existing thread she sounds like a terrible, selfish person. Distance yourself enough to know if she has the abortion or not, and if she doesn't then get a paternity test. Just because the kid's mum is a monster doesn't mean that it should go through life without knowing it's father. If it's not yours, just walk the hell away. She's made her bed and it's time for her to lie in it.

On a side note, I hope you're getting help for the cutting. Stay strong, man.
 
D

Dryk

Member
DrFurbs said:
She wants me in her life even as friend simply because of what I can bring to her in terms of friendship and stability and support. She said she still loves me and this was a massive mistake
Click to expand...
She doesn't want you, she just wants you to be there for her. Tell her that yes, it was a massive mistake, and she's going to have to live with that. Then assuming that the baby is not yours tell her to fuck off.
 
oneils

oneils

Member
You were having unprotected sex with this woman? Wtf.

I'd ignore her and then insist on a paternity test if she insisted it was my child.
 
C

CTLance

Member
Get a paternity test. No if's, when's or but's.

If you really fathered a child with her, then you done fucked up, boy. See to it that you can scrounge together some alimony. Your kid, your responsibility. Sucks, but that's why you use protection and don't stick your dick in crazy. Depending on your mindset it may be prudent to offer to pay for an abortion.

If you didn't, then what are you even fretting about. Not your fucking problem.

Either way, keep her out of your life.
 
H

Hex

Banned
It is not rocket science.
Get a paternity test.
If it is yours, do what needs to be done one way or the other. Man up.
If it is not yours, lose her number and never discuss her again and never think of her again.
 
R

Rad-

Member
I argued that while there is a 50% chance of it being mine the likelihood is actually quite low because in 3 years of having sex with her and pulling out - we never had any pregnancy scares.
Click to expand...

You are one lucky dude holy shit.

Tell her to get an abortion but do it in a unique way like maybe in song form
Click to expand...

:lol
 
T

Truant

Member
If she doesn't get an abortion you need to figure out who the kid belongs to. If it's his, then walk away. Clean break, never talk to her again.

If it's yours, you need to man up. Assume the responsibility and raise the kid. Figure out a way for it to work, your life is now about someone other than yourself.
 
F

Frodo

Member
So she is cheating on you and can't be bothered to use a condom?

Seriously...



Fake edit: If it is yours, OP there is not much to do, if she decides to continue with the gestation. You will have to support the kid, as it has nothing to do with the current state of affairs in between you two. As hard as it is.
 
D

DrFurbs

Member
I have no problem manning up Gaf if out is mine. I should also say I've been on steroids for almost 5 years straight which does affect sperm production. In fact I think research in Australia has shown that test and DECA are strong contraceptive candidates for men and I use both (mostly in a HRT capacity now tbh).

There is a chance but I think it's low. Still a chance. I will get that paternity test and take it from there. But I'll never be with her.

Regarding the pull out method. In 3 years of sex we never had one scare. It works but still risky I know :(
 
T

Tugatrix

Member
Pull out is not an efficient contraception, so it may very well be yours.

Do a DNA test if it's yours raise the children along her, you don't stay with her not even as friend but both need to be present for the child, she is innocent on all this
 
F

Frodo

Member
Kuga said:
Source?
Click to expand...

It might be reference to this:

D3DmuQz.png


Not that the "perfect world" statistics are really close, but in real life they are miles apart.
IT is NOT a safe method, specially because condom prevents MORE than just a pregnancy.
 
littletran22

littletran22

Member
The paternity test OP.

The fact that she says that she wants and needs you shows that you are better than her.

If the baby is not yours then you have no obligations, Tell her to leave, cut that tie for good, and do you!
 
S

Sho_Nuff82

Member
People still believe in the pull out method in 2015, holy shit. She was boning two guys unprotected while being "too religious" for abortion; sounds about right.

...and then I read the OP in the other thread, holy shit. No matter what she says, get a paternity test. And get some help. Neither of you sound like you're in a good place, especially not to the extent that you could care for a child. At this point it sounds like she could even be making it all up to get you to talk to her. You need to see a mental health professional before you engage in any further self harm or relationships, especially with destructive people.

Edit: and you're on steroids? Please tell me it's not the workout kind.
 
K

Kuga

Member
Frodo said:
It might be reference to this:

image

Not that the "perfect world" statistics are really close, but in real life they are miles apart.
IT is NOT a safe method, specially because condom prevents MORE than just a pregnancy.
Click to expand...

Dryk said:
This is what I keep seeing cited, apparently there's not a whole lot of data though
Click to expand...


Thank you both for the information. I will read up.
 
P

peanutbutterlatte

Member
I'm so sorry man. I've been apart from my cheating ex for a while now, and the paranoid part of me gave a little sigh of relief when we passed the 9 month marker.
 
D

DrFurbs

Member
Thank you GAF. I will follow your advice.

She said she is massively conflicted about what to do and the new guy. He wants to make a go of it. I wonder will he feel the same if the kid is mine tho.
 
S

Sho_Nuff82

Member
DrFurbs said:
Thank you GAF. I will follow your advice.

She said she is massively conflicted about what to do and the new guy. He wants to make a go of it. I wonder will he feel the same if the kid is mine tho.
Click to expand...

You know you can get a paternity test after about 6 weeks of pregnancy right? This isn't the sort of thing you want to be ambiguous about until after dude has bought a crib.
 
K

Korey

Member
DrFurbs said:
Thank you GAF. I will follow your advice.

She said she is massively conflicted about what to do and the new guy. He wants to make a go of it. I wonder will he feel the same if the kid is mine tho.
Click to expand...

It looks like you've got it together. Keep it up and good luck.
 
W

whytemyke

Honorary Canadian.
Frodo said:
It might be reference to this:

D3DmuQz.png


Not that the "perfect world" statistics are really close, but in real life they are miles apart.
IT is NOT a safe method, specially because condom prevents MORE than just a pregnancy.
Click to expand...
Holy shit condoms have a 15% fail rate?! I thought that shit was like a 2% fail rate. Fuck.

No more randos for me.

OP though, for real, paternity test. You seem like you're not a bad dude so just go one day at a time. And if it's not yours, well, there are gifs for that too.
 
tkscz

tkscz

Member
DrFurbs said:
You guys remember the thread I put up here about my girlfriend cheating.

I got a text the other day from a number I didn't recognise since I blocked her. I read it and it said " we need to talk please - its important. I knew immediately what this was. I agreed and we met. She is pregnant. She doesn't know if its his or mine. I argued that while there is a 50% chance of it being mine the likelihood is actually quite low because in 3 years of having sex with her and pulling out - we never had any pregnancy scares. She agreed that it is probably his (although we both know there is a chance).

I have no fucking clue what to do. If it is mine - I still want nothing to do with her. She wants me in her life even as friend simply because of what I can bring to her in terms of friendship and stability and support. She said she still loves me and this was a massive mistake. Shes thinking of an abortion too. I don't think she will..shes catholic and semi religious.

How fucked up is this shit. Jesus
Click to expand...

Do not keep this woman in your life. She is a sociopath. She needs constant attention and admiration from someone and she has chosen to lock onto you. If she is pregnant and it's yours, raise the child yourself. She sound like a terrible influence on a child.
 
blazeuk

blazeuk

Member
DrFurbs said:
Thank you GAF. I will follow your advice.

She said she is massively conflicted about what to do and the new guy. He wants to make a go of it. I wonder will he feel the same if the kid is mine tho.
Click to expand...

The fact that you're discussing the other guy wanting to make it work with her will do nothing good for you given what you were discussing in the other thread. Get the test done and hope it's not yours, then when it's not tell her she can disappear again. It could easily just be her fucked up way of trying to get you to talk to her again.
 
S

spuckthew

Member
Frodo said:
It might be reference to this:

D3DmuQz.png


Not that the "perfect world" statistics are really close, but in real life they are miles apart.
IT is NOT a safe method, specially because condom prevents MORE than just a pregnancy.
Click to expand...

What surprises me more about this than condoms having a 15% failure rate is that withdrawal is only 12% less effective than condoms. 73% effectiveness? Whaaaaa?
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar threads

  • Locked
Gina Carano was going to get her own Star Wars spin-off before the internet mob got her fired
2
75
4K
ahtlas7 replied
Need Major Finance and Life Advice
2
71
3K
AJUMP23 replied
How do you deal with long term break ups?
2 3
102
5K
Woggleman replied
  • Locked
GAF, I need some advice about a cop harassing my wife.
39
3K
phaedrus replied
I got a puppy 🥰
49
2K
Saiyan-Rox replied
Top Bottom