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Picard vs. Akbar

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D

Donono

Member
If both these two met in space, with neither having any advantage over the other. Same crew, same ship, same everything... who. would. win?
 
A

Ark-AMN

Banned
1152490265188.jpg


:D
 
D

Donono

Member
Eric P said:
akbar was a soldier

picard was an explorer
Click to expand...
Yeah but they both know how to attack with their ships.

I think Akbar would win too. Picard might probably try to analyze the sistuation too much with his fancy science shit while Akbar goes comcastic and destroys Picard's ship.
 
D

Donono

Member
BorkBork said:
You can totally see Riker cracking in the background. :lol :lol
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Haha. I didn't notice that. :lol

As an aside, Riker gets so much ass he makes most of GAF look ridiculous.
 
ManaByte

ManaByte

Member
BorkBork said:
You can totally see Riker cracking in the background. :lol :lol
Click to expand...

That was the episode where the Trois were kidnapped by the Ferengi and Picard has to profess his love for Lwaxanna to get them back. :lol
 
F

Faizal

Banned
Ackbar is overrated. What exactly did he do in ROTJ? Except wanting to run away?

I guess he did take down the Super Star Destroyer, but that was out of pure luck. (it wouldn't have happened if that sap didn't kamikaze himself into the bridge)
 
S

Sullen

Member
WTF? The lack of support for Picard in this thread is disturbing. He would own the shit out of Akbar. Akbar was a one hit wonder. Picard is out every day exploring and dealing with tons of tough situations. Akbar is just a stupid lobster guy that happened to be around for an important battle, and even then Akbar wasnt a major factor in the overall situation.

You've got two possible outcomes here:

1.) Picard tries to be peaceable with Akbar, but Akbar starts some shit because he is an angry lobster (god damn uppity lobsters) Picard realizes that being nice isnt gonna work, and then powers up all weapons and bluffs Akbar into backing off because when Picard says to bacdafucup, you do it and you do it now, because you know he is 2 seconds away from vaporizing your stupid lobster ass.

2.) Situation starts off hostile and escalates from there, Picard wins anyway because he has fought worse (Borg, etc) and is better at adapating to new and unusual enemies/tactics because of his experience as an explorer. Akbar might be a good lobster captain or some shit, but he has really only fought the Empire and that makes him weak. I mean, look at how incompetent the Empire is, cmon, stormtroopers anyone?

Picard wins hands down either way, and enjoys a nice juicy lobster afterward.
 
B

BorkBork

The Legend of BorkBork: BorkBorkity Borking
Thank you, Donono, for that incredibly irrelevant thread.

We all know that Captain Picard is the superior officer.
 
C

calder

Member
Shit, I've been off all week and relearning how ****ing awesome Picard is through afternoon television. Spike TV's one saving grace is having a couple of ST: TNG's every day, and through it I've realized that Picard owns the shit out of everyone everwhere all damn day.

Seeing the pic of Picard calling out Shakespeare poorly (nice nod to his acting roots) has me needing to hear Dark Materia's Picard song. :D
 
W

Whimsical Phil

Ninja School will help you
I don't know...maybe if Picard went Super Saiyan...but then Ackbar could fusion with Vegeta and it'd be all over! Right?!

I'll say this, though. If it were a hand to hand fight, Picard would pimp cane Ackbar's ass to the dirt.

0780623746.01._SS500_SCLZZZZZZZ_V1122565024_.jpg


"Here's a trap upside your head, ya crawdad-lookin' son of a bitch!"
 
F

FightyF

Banned
Donono said:
If both these two met in space, with neither having any advantage over the other. Same crew, same ship, same everything... who. would. win?
Click to expand...

Well, Ackbar is a military mastermind with decades of experience. As someone said, Picard was an explorer.

But then again, I can easily seeing it play out like:

Weapon's officer: General Ackbar, they've caught us in their tractor beam!

General Ackbar: It's a trap!

Weapon's officer: What shall we do?!

General Ackbar: ...it's a ...trap!

Wikipedia said:
Ackbar is of the aquatic alien race Mon Calamari. He was perhaps the finest military commander in the service of the Rebel Alliance and the New Republic. He led the attack on the second Death Star at Endor from the flagship Mon Calamari Cruiser, Home One. However, unlike many career officers he was unable to properly play the political game, relying on his trusted friend Mon Mothma to cover him. When Mon Mothma retired from political service, Admiral Ackbar found severe difficulties in facing the political realities of high command (though he did have an ally in Leia Organa-Solo).
Click to expand...

Holy crap, and he designed the B-Wing!
Something about him scares me too. If I ever saw him on that big Enterprise screen telling me to "disarm or face eradication", I'd be shitting the Captain's chair. And with Troy sitting on my lap, that'd be pretty embarrassing!
 
M

mattiewheels

And then the LORD David Bowie saith to his Son, Jonny Depp: 'Go, and spread my image amongst the cosmos. For every living thing is in anguish and only the LIGHT shall give them reprieve.'
somewhat off topic, but:

what would you guys say is the best season of TNG to start off with? the first one, or did it get much better as it went along? i want to start watching this through netflix, but the amount to choose from is a little daunting.
 
B

BorkBork

The Legend of BorkBork: BorkBorkity Borking
mattiewheels said:
somewhat off topic, but:

what would you guys say is the best season of TNG to start off with? the first one, or did it get much better as it went along? i want to start watching this through netflix, but the amount to choose from is a little daunting.
Click to expand...

I would say seasons 3, 4, or 5 would be your best bet. The weird thing about TGS is that there are incredible episodes for every season. (barring the first, which was terrible) It's a shame you can't pick and choose episodes.
 
D

Deku

Banned
Ackbar would win. His ship seems far bigger and more capable than the Enterprise anyways. This isn't a troll against Trek.
 
F

FightyF

Banned
Deku said:
Ackbar would win. His ship seems far bigger and more capable than the Enterprise anyways. This isn't a troll against Trek.
Click to expand...

Donono said:
...with neither having any advantage over the other. Same crew, same ship, same everything... who. would. win?
Click to expand...

Now that I think about it, why did I bother replying? It's a silly question. I think a far more interesting question is if Picard could beat Vader in a lightsaber match...which really boils down to the issue of whether or not fencing tactics could apply themselves to lightsabers.
 
B

BorkBork

The Legend of BorkBork: BorkBorkity Borking
Fight for Freeform said:
Now that I think about it, why did I bother replying? It's a silly question. I think a far more interesting question is if Picard could beat Vader in a lightsaber match...which really boils down to the issue of whether or not fencing tactics could apply themselves to lightsabers.
Click to expand...

Picard needs no lightsabers.

picard_and_vader.gif
 
A

Alex Anderson

Member
mattiewheels said:
somewhat off topic, but:

what would you guys say is the best season of TNG to start off with? the first one, or did it get much better as it went along? i want to start watching this through netflix, but the amount to choose from is a little daunting.
Click to expand...

I would recommend starting at the very beginning and seeing how the characters and the show itself progresses. If you start in the middle you're missing a whole lot of the history of the show--- characters and races being introduced, foundation being laid.

That being said, the show is episodic, so you don't need to have watched from the beginning, but I think you'd appreciate the series more having done so... especially if you want to watch through to the end. There's a good deal of self-referencing.

The best seasons are Seasons Three through Six if you don't care about any of that. By Three they'd hit their stride and by Seven they'd largely run out of ideas--- it didn't help that a lot of resources were being diverted to the new Deep Space Nine series when TNG was wrapping up.
 
C

Cold-Steel

Member
Let us not forget that Ackbar totally froze up in the Battle of Endor while newly-appointed *General* LANDO CALRISSIAN suggested that they close in on the Star Destroyers in order to protect the fleet from the deadly Death Star.

Finest military commander, my ass. Even Riker could make him his bitch.
 
M

muttyeah416

Member
Sullen said:
WTF? The lack of support for Picard in this thread is disturbing. He would own the shit out of Akbar. Akbar was a one hit wonder. Picard is out every day exploring and dealing with tons of tough situations. Akbar is just a stupid lobster guy that happened to be around for an important battle, and even then Akbar wasnt a major factor in the overall situation.

You've got two possible outcomes here:

1.) Picard tries to be peaceable with Akbar, but Akbar starts some shit because he is an angry lobster (god damn uppity lobsters) Picard realizes that being nice isnt gonna work, and then powers up all weapons and bluffs Akbar into backing off because when Picard says to bacdafucup, you do it and you do it now, because you know he is 2 seconds away from vaporizing your stupid lobster ass.

2.) Situation starts off hostile and escalates from there, Picard wins anyway because he has fought worse (Borg, etc) and is better at adapating to new and unusual enemies/tactics because of his experience as an explorer. Akbar might be a good lobster captain or some shit, but he has really only fought the Empire and that makes him weak. I mean, look at how incompetent the Empire is, cmon, stormtroopers anyone?

Picard wins hands down either way, and enjoys a nice juicy lobster afterward.
Click to expand...
yeah but star trek sucks
 
J

JayDubya

Banned
Cold-Steel said:
Let us not forget that Ackbar totally froze up in the Battle of Endor while newly-appointed *General* LANDO CALRISSIAN suggested that they close in on the Star Destroyers in order to protect the fleet from the deadly Death Star.

Finest military commander, my ass. Even Riker could make him his bitch.
Click to expand...

Hey now. The Rebels were vastly outgunned with an relatively tiny fleet. Ackbar got that fleet as large as it was by being a pretty conservative commander. You can't blame him for wanting to save his fleet when it looked like Solo had totally boned his mission AND they had incorrect intelligence regarding the DS2's weapon systems.

He didn't freeze up - he made the tactically sound call to prep a hyperspace jump the heck out of there. It was the wrong call, yes, and we as audience members knew that, but logically, as a real character, with the information he had, it was the only logical call.
 
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