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The BDSM Thread

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C

Captain_Spanky

Member
Or: Sticks and stones may break my bones but whips and chains excite me.

BDSM_collar_back.jpg


So What Is BDSM?

BDSM is a catch all term incorporating Bondage and discipline, Domination and submission and sadism and masochism.

As a whole it represents the alternative lifestyle that often involves things like power exchange, fetishism and that lovely warm glow a good beating brings.

BDSM At Wikipedia
A great basic introduction, with links to a whole range of paraphernalia and concepts.

The other, possibly the most important, acronym you should be aware with is SSC. Safe, sane and consensual. If your partner does not abide by that stay the fuck away.

The aim of this thread is really to be a catch all for any and all bdsm subjects. Got questions? Although by no means an expert I've been involved in what is pretentiously called "the lifestyle" for most of my adult existence, and certainly my current circle of friends are all at least kink-aware if not actively involved themselves. Or post pretty (but not NSFW) pictures. Perhaps you just want to open up and tell a funny story. Even swapping tips and ideas for cheap, ad hoc things you can use during playtime.

Maybe you were really confused when Grey Fox asked Snake to "HURT ME MORE".

To start things up with an actual discussion:

Currently BDSM is illegal in the UK. No matter what the context an adult can not consent to harm. Letting someone spank you till you bruise actually makes you an accessory in a conspiracy to knowingly commit a crime. Furthermore possession of images that are of an "extreme nature" or "show acts that could pose lasting damage to the breasts, buttocks or genitals" or in fact "of an obscene nature" is very, very illegal. Like child porn illegal. Obviously this language is meant to allow the law to be completely open, which is never a good thing. Until test cases start appearing those with an interest in kink may as well consider themselves criminals.


*Yes I am aware my username is Captain_Spanky. Surprisingly it has nothing to do with the topic at hand. Feel free to get the obvious jokes in though.
 
S

Silphonica

Banned
I dated a model into that stuff, she stuck her finger up my ass during a blowjob with no prior warning.

I swiftly broke up with her after that. (Straw that broke the camel's back btw)
 
I

ItAintEasyBeinCheesy

it's 4th of July in my asshole
Dammit im making a Labia thread.

I'll call it "Beef Lips: Well Done or Rare?"

Not in BDSM though, but chicks tying up their tits can be alright.
 
S

Shanadeus

Banned
ItAintEasyBeinCheesy said:
Dammit im making a Labia thread.

I'll all it "Beef Lips: Well Done or Rare?"

Not in BDSM though, but chicks tying up their tits can be alright.
Click to expand...
I don't think this is meant to be a picture thread.
 
C

Captain_Spanky

Member
Soru said:
I dated a model into that stuff, she stuck her finger up my ass during a blowjob with no prior warning.

I swiftly broke up with her after that. (Straw that broke the camel's back btw)
Click to expand...

Well it is another route to orgasm, and prostate massage feels good. PROTIP: Get used to it before you go to get checked by a doctor. Spooging in the presence of a medical man is embarrassing. But she should have asked and breaking up is a wise choice.

It does bring up the other core concept of BDSM:

SSC (yeah they love acronyms). It stands for safe, sane and consensual and shouldn't really need an explanation. It's pretty much the golden rule (other than enjoy yourself).
 
C

Captain_Spanky

Member
Soru said:
So I hear, however all I felt was the incessant need to shit.
Click to expand...

Well yeah, I mean whenever you need to shit your ass is full, your prostate is being pressured. Why else do you think men like crapping so much? Of course having the feeling..uh...thrust upon you would certainly be a shock!
 
S

Silphonica

Banned
Captain_Spanky said:
Well yeah, I mean whenever you need to shit your ass is full, you're prostate is being pressured. Why else do you think men like crapping so much? Of course having the feeling..uh...thrust upon you would certainly be a shock!
Click to expand...

Haha, maybe i'm different then but I really don't like shitting at all.
 
A

Awesome Animals

Member
It is something I would be open to exploring if my partner suggested it. Otherwise, it isn't something I feel the desire to actively seek. Nothing wrong with kink. I'll definitely be lurking this thread as it progresses. Hopefully someone else reveals their BDSM glee soon so a real conversation can begin.

P.S. The pony avatar approving BDSM felt so wrong. haha
 
M

Master Milk

Member
This could be interesting.

I'm relatively sure I don't have any particular interest in BDSM aside from when I see it in that one manga I read, but that's enough of a reason for me to lurk around.

So, do people really use whips?
 
S

Silphonica

Banned
Captain_Spanky said:
Maybe but considering I started a thread about getting your ass beat for fun I can't really comment now can I?
Click to expand...

Nah, I think when it comes down to BDSM it's huge rise in popularity over the years kinda shows that it's just one of those things, you like it or you don't. If you do like it, it doesn't really make you abnormal or anything.

I think the biggest surprise for me is that guys actually like shitting, then again it's not really a conversation that comes up at the pub that often.
 
M

Mechanical Snowman

Member
Captain_Spanky said:
To start things up with an actual discussion:

Currently BDSM is illegal in the UK. No matter what the context an adult can not consent to harm. Letting someone spank you till you bruise actually makes you an accessory in a conspiracy to knowingly commit a crime. Furthermore possession of images that are of an "extreme nature" or "show acts that could pose lasting damage to the breasts, buttocks or genitals" or in fact "of an obscene nature" is very, very illegal. Like child porn illegal. Obviously this language is meant to allow the law to be completely open, which is never a good thing. Until test cases start appearing those with an interest in kink may as well consider themselves criminals.
Click to expand...
I didn't know this and it's actually quite concerning. Do you have a source and a list of regions where this law is enforced?

Even on the mass of Tube sites that like to stay very legal, there are videos that definitely fall under your description (as in, not just all pretend).

Also, I'm not a fan of -

Captain_Spanky said:
Well it is another route to orgasm, and prostate massage feels good.
Click to expand...
But each to their own.
 
C

Captain_Spanky

Member
Chrono said:
And here I thought the UK was a modern and civilized country.
Click to expand...

Ha! In fact the most profile BDSM related case was, and I am fucking serious, used as an excuse to prosecute homosexuals.

Master Milk said:
So, do people really use whips?
Click to expand...
Yes we do. In fact recently I was very happily on the receiving end of this, as well as other items:

69678793_1-Pictures-of-Valentines-Rose-Flogger-Pink-Kink-Treats.jpg


The contrasting sensations were incredible. Afterwards I was deeper in subspace than I've ever been.
 
G

Gabyskra

Banned
Captain_Spanky said:
Or: Sticks and stones may break my bones but whips and chains excite me.
Click to expand...

Way to start in the most mainstream way possible. I don't know if that Rihanna song is detrimental to the image of kinksters, but there is definitely something that rubs me the wrong way with it.
 
C

Captain_Spanky

Member
Gabyskra said:
Way to start in the most mainstream way possible. I don't know if that Rihanna song is detrimental to the image of kinksters, but there is definitely something that rubs me the wrong way with it.
Click to expand...

That's not a Rhianna song, it's a very old, very bad joke. It's on t-shirts in gothic shops etc. Seeing as I have a terrible sense of humour I thought it would make a suitable subtitle. Besides, the worst thing about the scene is the pretentiousness of it so I really wanted to try and undercut that from the start. It's meant to be fun and feel good dammit!


Mechanical Snowman said:
I didn't know this and it's actually quite concerning. Do you have a source and a list of regions where this law is enforced?
Click to expand...

As far as I know it's just a UK thing, I couldn't pull up specific things right now because it's been going on for years now. It came up for review a few years ago, Bizarre magazine made it a big, central issue of their magazine to raise awareness. Didn't change the law though :(

Google threw this up, not sure how great it is but feel free to have a nose around
http://www.bdsmrights.com/
 
S

Seraphinianus

Banned
Gabyskra said:
Way to start in the most mainstream way possible. I don't know if that Rihanna song is detrimental to the image of kinksters, but there is definitely something that rubs me the wrong way with it.
Click to expand...


there's a bdsm/vinyl joke in here somewhere. and I hate to say it, but if you're worried about bdsm getting popular/fashionable, it's really too late. Lots of dumbass girls in chicago talk about that shit all the time (then are boring as shit in the sack when the time comes.)


I like some heavy scratching/nail digging myself, though it's hard to ask for that, as it's usually what you get when you successfully make a girl come hard. Biting is good too.
I'd like to play with dripping wax some day, but that's about as high as my bdsm aspirations go.

Last girl I was with wanted to be choked all the time. It was weird because she was very boring in bed otherwise. It was like "lets do missionary...but choke me." and that was it.
 
D

DarkKyo

Member
I'm a bit of a masochist myself.. haven't done anything very hardcore I guess. The last masochistic experience I had during relations was probably the best I've ever had.
 
Darias

Darias

Member
Great thread!! : ) The rose whip is beautiful!


I'd like to play with dripping wax some day, but that's about as high as my bdsm aspirations go.
Click to expand...

My advise: Make sure you try dripping the candle on the inside of your arm first... Unfortunately being at work, I can't look up the details I'd like to mention wax play, but there's basically two types of wax used in candles... One of the two (I *THINK* parafin, but may have them backwards) melts cool enough to run from slight discomfort down to soothing, depending on the height from which it's dripped... The other melts way hotter and can cause rather serious burns... Not the good pain at all. :(

Also, there's nothing scarier than your Mistress in a hardware store! She's been tempted to buy a shirt reading: "Ow is not a safe word."
 
K

Koomaster

Member
Captain_Spanky said:
As far as I know it's just a UK thing, I couldn't pull up specific things right now because it's been going on for years now. It came up for review a few years ago, Bizarre magazine made it a big, central issue of their magazine to raise awareness. Didn't change the law though :(

Google threw this up, not sure how great it is but feel free to have a nose around
http://www.bdsmrights.com/
Click to expand...
That's completely insane, and the first I've ever heard of this. I guess because I don't live in the UK, thank goodness. Not that the US isn't puritanical either in other ways. ~____~
 
G

Gabyskra

Banned
Smision said:
there's a bdsm/vinyl joke in here somewhere. and I hate to say it, but if you're worried about bdsm getting popular/fashionable, it's really too late. Lots of dumbass girls in chicago talk about that shit all the time (then are boring as shit in the sack when the time comes.)
Click to expand...

Well, that's exactly my problem with it. I have no issue with it being mainstream, quite the contrary, I'd rather it be popular, but I have a problem with the way it has become mainstream. People don't get it. It's about frustration and release, it's about playfulness, it's about many things and the only aspect of it that gets any sort of talk, is the superficial (from boring people who think that sex and the city is progressive, when it is extremely judgemental).
 
B

BankaiZaraki

Banned
I've been whipped before at this club here in town. I also love being tied down, blind-folded, and all sorts of shit like that. I approve of this thread!
 
M

mollipen

Member
Is it weird that I'd feel WAAAY more nervous talking about things publicly in a thread like this than I would the TransGAF thread? *laughs*
 
K

Koomaster

Member
shidoshi said:
Is it weird that I'd feel WAAAY more nervous talking about things publicly in a thread like this than I would the TransGAF thread? *laughs*
Click to expand...
I sort of feel the same way. I can out myself to friends and talk about gay sex, but I don't think I could bring myself to have a conversation about BDSM with them. ^___^;;
 
Darias

Darias

Member
Behaviors, intentions, and practices of people in 'the scene' can be as varied as the people themselves. Some people use fetish clothing as a per play session escape fantasy... Something that doesn't leave the bedroom and interact with the day to day world around them. Others, such as myself, have very little in dress that anyone would ever assume has an S/M connotation, yet are active (and lucky to be in) a 24/7 D/S relationship.

It's honestly very rare in my relationship for either of us to get caught up in protocol or terminology whatsoever. However, I generally always have her wishes in mind. When I slip, she merely raises an eyebrow - just a specific expression is generally all she needs to remind me...

For example, some people on reading this post would be struck and shocked that I didn't capitalize Her and She. Frequently any reference to any dom is capitalized. Neither I nor my partner have much use for the capitals, as they seem rather silly in writing, yet if I were writing to or about someone else, or their top, I would absolutely capitalize so as not to offend.

I think an important thing to watch out for and avoid is a mindset where people believe and behave in such a way as "My kink is ok, yours is not." Anyone researching the subject will likely notice that most people in the scene are a lot more open about their sexuality than others.

Though I am only a couple chapters into it, i cannot help but reccommend Different Loving.
 
Darias

Darias

Member
I sort of feel the same way. I can out myself to friends and talk about gay sex, but I don't think I could bring myself to have a conversation about BDSM with them. ^___^;;
Click to expand...

Hang a crop on your bedroom wall... That seems to be... subtle enough...

Then again, I am with someone who identifies to being as subtle as a natural disaster.
 
S

shintoki

sparkle this bitch
shidoshi said:
Is it weird that I'd feel WAAAY more nervous talking about things publicly in a thread like this than I would the TransGAF thread? *laughs*
Click to expand...
One is also a social issue. The other is pure kink. I'd say in some ways, it's even a bit more person since you are revealing specific habits, preferences, and turn on. Varying from breaking social norms to sadomasochism.

Topic is definitely made for Cad whenever he shows up.
 
Darias

Darias

Member
I can't remember where I found the statistic, but I read that the most prevalent group was male subs, followed by female sub, male dom, and femdom.
 
S

Seraphinianus

Banned
Gabyskra said:
Well, that's exactly my problem with it. I have no issue with it being mainstream, quite the contrary, I'd rather it be popular, but I have a problem with the way it has become mainstream. People don't get it. It's about frustration and release, it's about playfulness, it's about many things and the only aspect of it that gets any sort of talk, is the superficial (from boring people who think that sex and the city is progressive, when it is extremely judgemental).
Click to expand...


Bingo!

I think people who actually do it probably understand what they're doing, but a lot of people learn about it on the internet, then talk about it as if they understand.
 
D

David Incorporated Esq.

Member
Darias said:
Behaviors, intentions, and practices of people in 'the scene' can be as varied as the people themselves. Some people use fetish clothing as a per play session escape fantasy... Something that doesn't leave the bedroom and interact with the day to day world around them. Others, such as myself, have very little in dress that anyone would ever assume has an S/M connotation, yet are active (and lucky to be in) a 24/7 D/S relationship.

It's honestly very rare in my relationship for either of us to get caught up in protocol or terminology whatsoever. However, I generally always have her wishes in mind. When I slip, she merely raises an eyebrow - just a specific expression is generally all she needs to remind me...

For example, some people on reading this post would be struck and shocked that I didn't capitalize Her and She. Frequently any reference to any dom is capitalized. Neither I nor my partner have much use for the capitals, as they seem rather silly in writing, yet if I were writing to or about someone else, or their top, I would absolutely capitalize so as not to offend.

I think an important thing to watch out for and avoid is a mindset where people believe and behave in such a way as "My kink is ok, yours is not." Anyone researching the subject will likely notice that most people in the scene are a lot more open about their sexuality than others.

Though I am only a couple chapters into it, i cannot help but reccommend Different Loving.
Click to expand...
So I'm not understanding your relationship. If this is your all the time partner do you enjoy being dominated by them outside of the bedroom as well? Excuse me if I sound crass, but does it come down to her "raising the eyebrow" if you disagree with where you two will go out for dinner?
 
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