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[Llyranor]

I think the importance of decreasing your texting frequency and speed of response game is more for you than for the other person. It means you put your phone down and stopped hovering over it waiting for a response. Your time is valuable and you are busy doing other things (actually do other things, though). The focus should not be on playing mindgames with the other person at all.

I'm back and forth with a girl right now and it's, maybe, one or two messages a day (through an app, though, so not texting so maybe I'm wrong).

How many days has it been and why haven't you asked for her number?

 

[SeanC]

How many days has it been and why haven't you asked for her number?

Two days, still feeling her out. I think she might be a bit too conservative for me so not 100% sold on her yet. Physically she's damn cute, though.

I'm kind of more focused on another girl I'm seeing on Sat TBH. But want to keep the chat going with this one in my pocket in the meantime. It's Coffee Meets Bagel so there's a time-limit on the chat anyways so I'll have to back a decision on her by Friday because that's when the app will cancel a chat if you haven't gotten a number yet. I like that it forces you to, gives you a good kick in the ass.

 

[Jason's Ultimatum]

Well, I'm idiot for not seeing through the lines. I was too emotionally invested in girl where I shouldve read the warning signs. God, even her friends when I met up with her, and she asked me what i wanted to drink and stepped away, said how this girl really likes me, and always talked about me to her friends and family.

She's taking this a lot better than I am, but it's nice shes still thinking about me.

Oh well. I got a girls number at the place I saw her at. I'm meeting up with her Friday.

 

[gaiages]

Well, I'm idiot for not seeing through the lines. I was too emotionally invested in girl where I shouldve read the warning signs. God, even her friends when I met up with her, and she asked me what i wanted to drink and stepped away, said how this girl really likes me, and always talked about me to her friends and family.

She's taking this a lot better than I am, but it's nice shes still thinking about me.

Oh well. I got a girls number at the place I saw her at. I'm meeting up with her Friday.

Why do you always get so mad when we point out what might have gone wrong...? Just because you overinvested doesn't mean she *didn't* overinvest too. To be honest, sounds like she did, then realized she's not ready for this yet with the divorce not being finalized yet. I mean, divorces can make you emotionally messed up for a while.

I feel you overinvested again, a mistake you tend to make. Every time someone brings that up, you get overly defensive. We're only trying to help, and while some of us are blunt about it, we're only trying to get through to you to just pump the brakes a little bit.

 

[Spinluck]

If I don't go on social media much should I delete this person anyway? I have a ton of people I don't talk to in there and it's not that personal to me. But if I decided I don't want to be friends with someone who offered that as an alternative, and they haven't blocked me yet should I just burn that bridge?

Well, I'm idiot for not seeing through the lines. I was too emotionally invested in girl where I shouldve read the warning signs. God, even her friends when I met up with her, and she asked me what i wanted to drink and stepped away, said how this girl really likes me, and always talked about me to her friends and family.

She's taking this a lot better than I am, but it's nice shes still thinking about me.

Oh well. I got a girls number at the place I saw her at. I'm meeting up with her Friday.

Damn, already got another girl's number, right on dude. Also none of that crap matters, I met this last girls parents and they really liked me. But ultimately they will choose who they end up with. Not the people around them. People always say shit to the people in their circle of friends to make their lives seem better than it is, until they're caught in a moment of weakness.

 

[gwailo]

Well, I'm idiot for not seeing through the lines. I was too emotionally invested in girl where I shouldve read the warning signs. God, even her friends when I met up with her, and she asked me what i wanted to drink and stepped away, said how this girl really likes me, and always talked about me to her friends and family.

She's taking this a lot better than I am, but it's nice shes still thinking about me.

Oh well. I got a girls number at the place I saw her at. I'm meeting up with her Friday.

Oh for fucks sake.

She says it was mistake to have tried dating again, and that she needs to get her life in order before trying again

You didn't see that as a warning sign? Oh wait, no actually, you totally disregarded that (like you do with any real human interaction) and then had sex with her.

 

[Incendiary]

Well, I'm idiot for not seeing through the lines. I was too emotionally invested in girl where I shouldve read the warning signs. God, even her friends when I met up with her, and she asked me what i wanted to drink and stepped away, said how this girl really likes me, and always talked about me to her friends and family.

Dude - you're doing it again. Don't romanticize. Don't pick apart all the little things about how much she may have liked you. You're literally only torturing yourself when you do this. Maybe they volunteered this information because they were looking out for their friend who was going through a divorce. They were supporting their friend, they weren't mystical nymphs sent from Zeus as a sign that this girl was the one and everything was going to be roses and petals and love from now on.

I went on a date last week with a girl, and 30 minutes before the date she texted me asking if I was nervous, because she was pretty excited about the date. It was adorable. And a good sign! The day after the date, she texted me and said she wasn't feeling it and didn't want to waste either of our time. Now, do I go over every little interaction wondering what the hell I did wrong to cool her off during our date? No! I accept that we weren't compatible and move on. Do I repeatedly say "well, gosh, she was super into me before the date, why did she change her mind, oh gosh everything was so great there for two minutes!" No!

And I get it, you have a date on Friday, you're moving on. But you included a prelude to "I have a date on Friday" with more "woe is me, dang this girl really seemed to like me" woes. Don't. Just...stop over investing. It seems like any time things are going remotely well you start analyzing every little thing as proof that things are going well. But guess what? Relationships are about two people's inner feelings, not just what you observe, which means things can change from one day to the next. Especially if people are going through big life-changing situations.

 

[Llyranor]

If I don't go on social media much should I delete this person anyway? I have a ton of people I don't talk to in there and it's not that personal to me. But if I decided I don't want to be friends with someone who offered that as an alternative, and they haven't blocked me yet should I just burn that bridge?

Is this a girl who's rejected you and who you don't want to be friends with? If so, you've already put too much thought into this when you should be moving on.

What would work best for you in order to move on? Do you want the occasional reminder to bring up some old feelings to make things harder? Delete, block, or keep as 'friend' but remove from all listings so you never see anything from her ever again to keep on appearances. If you choose the latter, are you okay with her having the option of being able to message you in a completely non-romantic way that will just make her resent her, or at the worst moment when you think you're over her and you're not?

Also, be proactive in moving on. Don't rely on whether or not she blocks you to make your decision.

AND DO NOT KEEP HER A FRIEND IN THE SECRET HOPE THAT SHE CHANGES HER MIND AND DATES YOU

 

[Nudull]

Am I reading this right that you've only been seeing eachother for two weeks? You would do well to heed the advice that is given time and time again this thread: don't get too invested early. People will flake, people will be shitty and just block you outright, people will get a response back from that other person he/she wanted more and drop everyone else in a moment's notice. By talking to other people and thereby not getting too invested until things are more stable, you avoid these situations and the heartache that follows. Trust me, I've been there.

Well he does sound like a passive-aggressive douche with the blocking, but overall it's just you getting attached early and quickly. The false starts and zero responses is just part of dating - some things shake out, but a lot don't. Not letting it control you is the best thing you can do.

I'm sorry if I'm being foolish about being so emotional. Just that stuff like this takes their toll after a few months, you know?

I'm already trying to talk to other people and setting things up (at least, trying to), so ultimately, losing him is no harm. Really, it's the sting of wasted time/emotion I'm trying to push away from. :/

 

[efyu_lemonardo]

It does have a "how dare you" douche vibe to it. And of course once again you have done NOTHING wrong, right, buddy???

Jason, you have a sense of entitlement that's really kind of disgusting.

The ink hasn't even dried on her divorce -- hell, the papers haven't even been served -- do you really expect that she would hop right into a long-term relationship with you? She needs to work her shit out, not deal with a clingy petty manchild.

Grow the fuck up.

Isn't this a bit harsh?
It takes two to tango..

 

[GK86]

Isn't this a bit harsh?
It takes two to tango..

Based on Jason's history with this thread, no, it isn't harsh.

 

[efyu_lemonardo]

Based on Jason's history with this thread, no, it isn't harsh.

I guess there's a bigger context that I'm unfamiliar with..

 

[Xun]

Not feeling anything after sex? That's biology. For you, it could also be inexperience.

But that being said, if it's guilt and an unwillingness to hurt her that's holding you back, don't. Don't lie to yourself and her. If you're not feeling it, tell her.

As you said earlier I’m probably overthinking it all.

For all I know she could be on the same wavelength as me and wants something more short-term, especially since she's training to be a doctor.

I enjoy spending time with her, so I hope things don't end just yet, but I will let her know where I stand at some point soon (unless she brings it up first).

 

[gaiages]

I guess there's a bigger context that I'm unfamiliar with..

Yeah, there's some stuff in like... The last ten pages of OT5? It might explain why some of us are sorta mean to Jason.

Tho tbh that was a little harsh

 

[CreepingFear]

I think the woman I met on Tinder that touched my penis, in my car, is ghosting me. All because I needed to study for my Security+ certification. I asked her yesterday if she wanted to do something this weekend and still no response, even today. At what point should I move one?

 

[GK86]

I think the woman I met on Tinder that touched my penis, in my car, is ghosting me. All because I needed to study for my Security+ certification. I asked her yesterday if she wanted to do something this weekend and still no response, even today. At what point should I move one?

Send another message tomorrow and then move on.

 

[ZackieChan]

I think the woman I met on Tinder that touched my penis, in my car, is ghosting me. All because I needed to study for my Security+ certification. I asked her yesterday if she wanted to do something this weekend and still no response, even today. At what point should I move one?

I'm sure your lack of reciprocation didn't help, iirc. She was out to get some. She's probably moved on.

Nothing keeps a woman in anticipation like an A+ cert.

 

[Jhoan]

I'm sure your lack of reciprocation didn't help, iirc. She was out to get some. She's probably moved on.

Nothing keeps a woman in anticipation like an A+ cert.

I feel like the same thing is happening to me since the girl I met up with last week suggested rescheduling for Friday but I declined and told her I'm going to be busy working a Star Trek con this weekend. I suggested next Monday or Tuesday but I haven't heard back from her in over a day so I assume she got mad/annoyed.

She's the type that hates texting and prefers face to face chat so I have that against me. If I don't hear back from her by tomorrow, I'm going to move on. Every time I work a convention, I avoid scheduling dates that weekend since it stresses me out and I prefer to be enjoying it. I suppose I could backpedal and tell her Friday night would work.

 

[Llyranor]

I could backpedal and tell her Friday night would work.

Please don't.

 

[Incendiary]

I feel like the same thing is happening to me since the girl I met up with last week suggested rescheduling for Friday but I declined and told her I'm going to be busy working a Star Trek con this weekend. I suggested next Monday or Tuesday but I haven't heard back from her in over a day so I assume she got mad/annoyed.

She's the type that hates texting and prefers face to face chat so I have that against me. If I don't hear back from her by tomorrow, I'm going to move on. Every time I work a convention, I avoid scheduling dates that weekend since it stresses me out and I prefer to be enjoying it. I suppose I could backpedal and tell her Friday night would work.

Don't backpedal. If she's already trying to reschedule and actually gets upset/drops you if you can't reschedule to meet her needs, she's not worth the time anyway.

 

[Nudull]

Against my better judgement, and because I was bored, I decided to give Tinder another shot. Posted more pics of myself, made my profile more simple and to the point, all neatened to the best of my ability. Let's see if it amounts to anything, this time. Meanwhile, I'm gonna try to see if there might be any meetups around. Last time turned out disastrous (of the "my family is still horribly homophobic" kind), but I'm gonna try for a different approach.

 

[catmincer]

Ok so I posted earlier about seeing a guy and touching etc. Anyway I met him again on Monday and held his hand a bit but he now seems uncomfortable about it. Like after three dates it's not too much right? I asked him outright if it was ok I did it afterwards and he said yes. So I am probably being weird but I have never taken it this slow before.

Like should I just try something again and see where it gets me or cut my losses.

Edited: I decided to just be upfront and see what he said. We're having dinner tomorrow so it's probably better talk in person.

 

[ZackieChan]

I feel like the same thing is happening to me since the girl I met up with last week suggested rescheduling for Friday but I declined and told her I'm going to be busy working a Star Trek con this weekend. I suggested next Monday or Tuesday but I haven't heard back from her in over a day so I assume she got mad/annoyed.

She's the type that hates texting and prefers face to face chat so I have that against me. If I don't hear back from her by tomorrow, I'm going to move on. Every time I work a convention, I avoid scheduling dates that weekend since it stresses me out and I prefer to be enjoying it. I suppose I could backpedal and tell her Friday night would work.

Nothing turns em on like a Star Trek con! Stick to your guns, man. You've got a life.

 

[william_557]

Hey so this girl i like and i talk most days via messenger and weve hung out a few times (the boyfriend has been there and is a decent bloke.

we went to high school a few years ago and although we didn't really know each other..we started talking recently due to me studying with her cousin.

She has a boyfriend and i respect that but i still have developed feelings for her but we're also becoming friends as well.

I do enjoy being her friend but also want to know if what im doing is ok by still being her friend but with these feelings any advice would be great thanks as i haven't had a lot of dating experience (almost none)

 

[Salamando]

Hey so this girl i like and i talk most days via messenger and weve hung out a few times (the boyfriend has been there and is a decent bloke.

we went to high school a few years ago and although we didn't really know each other..we started talking recently due to me studying with her cousin.

She has a boyfriend and i respect that but i still have developed feelings for her but we're also becoming friends as well.

I do enjoy being her friend but also want to know if what im doing is ok by still being her friend but with these feelings any advice would be great thanks as i haven't had a lot of dating experience (almost none)

It's okay to be her friend and have feelings for her, but it's not okay to be her friend because you're trying to get into her pants. If you're only her friend because you're waiting for accidental "friend" sex or you're waiting for her to become available, you're being dishonest and phony.

Best advice you can get here? Actively pursue other women. Diversifying your time investments will keep you from focusing on one person, and you won't be SOL if one (or many...) never pay out.

 

[Llyranor]

Hey so this girl i like and i talk most days via messenger and weve hung out a few times (the boyfriend has been there and is a decent bloke.

we went to high school a few years ago and although we didn't really know each other..we started talking recently due to me studying with her cousin.

She has a boyfriend and i respect that but i still have developed feelings for her but we're also becoming friends as well.

I do enjoy being her friend but also want to know if what im doing is ok by still being her friend but with these feelings any advice would be great thanks as i haven't had a lot of dating experience (almost none)

You *can* be friend with someone you like. As long as you:
- move on emotionally. Once you date some other girls and find one you like, you will get over her. Is she the only source of female attention you're getting? Change that.
- don't hang out and do nice deeds just in the hope that she realizes what a 'nice guy' you are and dumps her chump bf for you. It won't happen. Don't be an orbiter.
- don't confess your feelings like in some dumb movie, she and her bf will have a good laugh at your expense.
- the most important part of this post is that you should be dedicating your energy into actively meeting other people. She could even be your wingman.

 

[william_557]

You *can* be friend with someone you like. As long as you:
- move on emotionally. Once you date some other girls and find one you like, you will get over her. Is she the only source of female attention you're getting? Change that.
- don't hang out and do nice deeds just in the hope that she realizes what a 'nice guy' you are and dumps her chump bf for you. It won't happen. Don't be an orbiter.
- don't confess your feelings like in some dumb movie, she and her bf will have a good laugh at your expense.
- the most important part of this post is that you should be dedicating your energy into actively meeting other people. She could even be your wingman.

yeah ive been talking to other girls its just a weird way to feel but thanks for the advice man

 

[urge26]

So I have a second date set up for Saturday with a girl I slept with a couple weeks ago (I had my girls last weekend and we've both had plans or else we would've seen each other earlier). What's the better call, take her out for a romantic dinner or suggest takeout and Netflix at her place?

 

[william_557]

It's okay to be her friend and have feelings for her, but it's not okay to be her friend because you're trying to get into her pants. If you're only her friend because you're waiting for accidental "friend" sex or you're waiting for her to become available, you're being dishonest and phony.

Best advice you can get here? Actively pursue other women. Diversifying your time investments will keep you from focusing on one person, and you won't be SOL if one (or many...) never pay out.

Thanks for the advice and no i don't think i'm just hanging around waiting for that although i do like her i think shes pretty cool and we get on well so i think we can be good friends.

I also am meant to be getting lunch with a girl from uni next week see where that leads

 

[GK86]

So I have a second date set up for Saturday with a girl I slept with a couple weeks ago (I had my girls last weekend and we've both had plans or else we would've seen each other earlier). What's the better call, take her out for a romantic dinner or suggest takeout and Netflix at her place?

Depends what you want out of it.

Looking for booty? Netflix.
Looking for relationship? Take her out (not to a dinner).

 

[SLV]

Update and probably the final entry: We met for the second time, we were just chilling, walking around some, on the third time we went for a over night trip to the western seaside, we stayed at a hotel we just drank some wine and went to bed as she was very tired from work, in the morning we had sex, after that we spent the whole day going around, taking in the sights. We meet again on Saturday she is staying overnight at my place. Everything is going great. We have been sexting each other for the most part of the day. So I guess the initial posters were right, she just likes me, and I was just over thinking all of this. And one thing is that I was not looking for a fling, but a long time relationship, and so far everything is shaping up great. So good luck to others, I am lucky already.

 

[Spinluck]

Update and probably the final entry: We met for the second time, we were just chilling, walking around some, on the third time we went for a over night trip to the western seaside, we stayed at a hotel we just drank some wine and went to bed as she was very tired from work, in the morning we had sex, after that we spent the whole day going around, taking in the sights. We meet again on Saturday she is staying overnight at my place. Everything is going great. We have been sexting each other for the most part of the day. So I guess the initial posters were right, she just likes me, and I was just over thinking all of this. And one thing is that I was not looking for a fling, but a long time relationship, and so far everything is shaping up great. So good luck to others, I am lucky already.

Nice man.

 

[Spinluck]

Is this a girl who's rejected you and who you don't want to be friends with? If so, you've already put too much thought into this when you should be moving on.

What would work best for you in order to move on? Do you want the occasional reminder to bring up some old feelings to make things harder? Delete, block, or keep as 'friend' but remove from all listings so you never see anything from her ever again to keep on appearances. If you choose the latter, are you okay with her having the option of being able to message you in a completely non-romantic way that will just make her resent her, or at the worst moment when you think you're over her and you're not?

Also, be proactive in moving on. Don't rely on whether or not she blocks you to make your decision.

AND DO NOT KEEP HER A FRIEND IN THE SECRET HOPE THAT SHE CHANGES HER MIND AND DATES YOU

I want to move on from her emotionally, but part of me can see her as a potential friend in the future.

Not sure what I should do. Deleting people off of social media always seemed petty to me. But most of my friends say I should do it.

 

[ZackieChan]

Do it

 

[SeanC]

I want to move on from her emotionally, but part of me can see her as a potential friend in the future.

Not sure what I should do. Deleting people off of social media always seemed petty to me. But most of my friends say I should do it.

Believe me, you'll never be "just friends" if you're already trying to figure out how to move on from her emotionally. You'll always have those feelings and she won't, so don't put yourself through it.

 

[urge26]

Believe me, you'll never be "just friends" if you're already trying to figure out how to move on from her emotionally. You'll always have those feelings and she won't, so don't put yourself through it.

Agreed, deleting people from social media isn't "petty", it's a form of moving on. My previous girlfriend ripped my heart out and I spent 6 months getting constant reminders from social media. I didn't really move on until I completely deleted her from my life.

 

[Jawmuncher]

So I finished reading the OP (Good OP by the way). But I gotta ask does anyone in here really just go all in like that with meeting people. I'm talking about the seeing someone you like the look of and just asking them out right then and there. It wasn't understanding you always kinda have to build towards that. Though the fact that I've been on a whole 3 dates my entire life, I already know I have no clue what I'm talking about.

I'm currently in the online dating thread trying to fix things there. But I feel like I'm going to need more people interaction to get anywhere and is why I'm asking. I need all the help I can get.

 

[Spinluck]

Alright thanks guys, I'm sorry I keep bringing this up. I just feel incredibly stupid for missing all the signs because she was totally into me, and I blew it. I think that hurts more than the actual rejection.

Think I'm gonna go strong on Tinder and CMB after my vacation.

 

[gaiages]

So I finished reading the OP (Good OP by the way). But I gotta ask does anyone in here really just go all in like that with meeting people. I'm talking about the seeing someone you like the look of and just asking them out right then and there. It wasn't understanding you always kinda have to build towards that. Though the fact that I've been on a whole 3 dates my entire life, I already know I have no clue what I'm talking about.

I'm currently in the online dating thread trying to fix things there. But I feel like I'm going to need more people interaction to get anywhere and is why I'm asking. I need all the help I can get.

It prevents you from wasting time, essentially. If you see someone attractive, and want to persue something with them, it's a lot better to put that out there pretty quickly instead of becoming their friend or whatever and building up those feelings and tension for weeks or months.

You don't need to know someone completely to ask them out, the first date is for getting to know each other.

I mean you don't go up to a girl, rip their headphones out, and demand coffee before saying hi. More like have a normal conversation for a bit then ask for a date.

 

[Jawmuncher]

It prevents you from wasting time, essentially. If you see someone attractive, and want to persue something with them, it's a lot better to put that out there pretty quickly instead of becoming their friend or whatever and building up those feelings and tension for weeks or months.

You don't need to know someone completely to ask them out, the first date is for getting to know each other.

I mean you don't go up to a girl, rip their headphones out, and demand coffee before saying hi. More like have a normal conversation for a bit then ask for a date.

Guess I never thought of it that way. Does make more sense in that regard. I'll have to check the rest of the stuff in the op about small talk. Since I always feel like I shouldn't bother anyone, but essentially you kind of have to in a way to be able to talk to them.

Also hopefully I didn't make it sound like the bolded was something I'd do lol.

 

[gaiages]

Guess I never thought of it that way. Does make more sense in that regard. I'll have to check the rest of the stuff in the op about small talk. Since I always feel like I shouldn't bother anyone, but essentially you kind of have to in a way to be able to talk to them.

Also hopefully I didn't make it sound like the bolded was something I'd do lol.

Lol I was making a reference to the headphones thread floating around in the OT. ;p I imagine most people here aren't that bad.

At least I hope not :3

 

[Incendiary]

I want to move on from her emotionally, but part of me can see her as a potential friend in the future.

Not sure what I should do. Deleting people off of social media always seemed petty to me. But most of my friends say I should do it.

I'm gonna do a little devil's advocate here in comparison to the others in this thread. I am friends with several women I used to have feelings for on social media and never deleted them and we're respectable friends now. Of course it's been years since I had feelings for them. It's all about what you feel you can handle. If you think any time you see a picture of her or a status she posts you're going to relapse, then by all means delete her. But if you're actually interested in being friends with her and think you can put up with numbing your emotions if she ever posts about a good date she went on in the near future, then by all means keep her around.

I was intensely upset at a few of the girls but I made myself get over them for the sake of staying friends with them. Choosing to keep her on social media means you're going to have to put an effort into getting over her AND maintaining the friendship. If you can't handle doing both of those things, time to delete her presence.

 

[DeathoftheEndless]

I've got a date tonight with a girl I used to work with. I actually asked her out back then, but she said she wasn't looking for a relationship at that point. She sent me a FB message last week and we've been texting each other since. We're going walking in a nearby park and then going out to dinner. Should be a fun night.

 

[Incendiary]

I've got a date tonight with a girl I used to work with. I actually asked her out back then, but she said she wasn't looking for a relationship at that point. She sent me a FB message last week and we've been texting each other since. We're going walking in a nearby park and then going out to dinner. Should be a fun night.

Sounds pretty cool! Good luck with it!

Gotta say, I'm envious of any of you guys/girls that get messages out of the blue from old acquaintances who are now interested. The times that has happened to me is exactly 0.

 

[urge26]

I'm gonna do a little devil's advocate here in comparison to the others in this thread. I am friends with several women I used to have feelings for on social media and never deleted them and we're respectable friends now. Of course it's been years since I had feelings for them. It's all about what you feel you can handle. If you think any time you see a picture of her or a status she posts you're going to relapse, then by all means delete her. But if you're actually interested in being friends with her and think you can put up with numbing your emotions if she ever posts about a good date she went on in the near future, then by all means keep her around.

I was intensely upset at a few of the girls but I made myself get over them for the sake of staying friends with them. Choosing to keep her on social media means you're going to have to put an effort into getting over her AND maintaining the friendship. If you can't handle doing both of those things, time to delete her presence.

You typically want to be friends with someone you've known for a long while, you know them enough that it's important. Unfortunately for me I was deeply in love with my last girlfriend, friendship was something she wanted, not me. To kid myself was ridiculous.

 

[DeathoftheEndless]

Sounds pretty cool! Good luck with it!

Gotta say, I'm envious of any of you guys/girls that get messages out of the blue from old acquaintances who are now interested. The times that has happened to me is exactly 0.

Thanks, I appreciate it.

It happened to me one other time with a girl from high school that I had never talked to before. We hung out at her house a few times, but I was really depressed back then and not ready for a relationship.

 

[Xun]

As you said earlier I’m probably overthinking it all.

For all I know she could be on the same wavelength as me and wants something more short-term, especially since she's training to be a doctor.

I enjoy spending time with her, so I hope things don't end just yet, but I will let her know where I stand at some point soon (unless she brings it up first).

Interesting.

I just noticed she updated her Tinder profile...

Perhaps I shouldn't even bother speaking to her about where things are going?

 

[Ristifer]

Well, I've just been asked out by this gal I've been texting back and forth with. I was actually planning on asking her out tonight, but she did it this afternoon. I've never had that happen before haha.

Basically, I've been heeding the advice of this thread to not get way too invested in something like this. So, it's been nice to just take it easy, see where things go with her, while still keeping my options open with other women I've been talking to. Anyway, this one gal is starting school next week, so she said she wants to go out then, after she's figured out her schedule.

So, we'll see how it goes!

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

Interesting.

I just noticed she updated her Tinder profile...

Perhaps I shouldn't even bother speaking to her about where things are going?

This is just one example, but I see too many cases of "detective GAF" in this thread. We're all grown-ups here; if you have something on your mind, talk it over with them (in person, on the phone, or even through text). Don't go looking for evidence that they're not responding, that they reactivated their OKC profile, that they're active on Tinder/FB/whatever when they're allegedly busy, etc. People are generally not malicious or vindictive, and don't purposefully drop breadcrumbs to slowly drive you insane with jealousy and suspicion.

Xun, are you two exclusive? You both still have Tinder, so I'd say no. But don't take it as a subtle hint that your relationship is casual: communicate, bring it up and clarify.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

Interesting.

I just noticed she updated her Tinder profile...

Perhaps I shouldn't even bother speaking to her about where things are going?

If you want it to be casual say nothing. If you want it to be serious just get to the point with her I imagine. Haven't been following your situation at all (or this thread as of late) but just be forward with what you want and okay with things potentially ending.