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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already
- Thread starter gaiages
- Start date
- Status
Stormhammer
Member
lol i kno right she likes video games and wanted a co-op partner. lame af amirite
but for real, she was looking for someone with shared interests, and i was happy someone initiated the contact with me as that never really happens. kinda sucks when someone seems interested and then it just falls off a cliff in a heartbeat. i try to keep my expectations in check, but it's been so long that anything like that feels like a tiny burst of hope.
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
Well, I promised I wouldn't post in here anymore, but well..............
For ONCE I didn't screw up with a girl. Not my fault at all. So here's the rundown:
Met a girl on OKC. Gave my phone number and left the ball in her court. A day later she texts me. Literally after I get out of a movie with a girl I went with.
We were texting all night until 3am. She told me when she read my profile it was like as if she created it herself. We set for a plan to meet up on a Friday. She couldn't wait, and wanted to meet me sooner. We decided to meet a few days earlier. Before we did meet up, she wanted to talk on the phone. I was fine with that. We talked more. I told her I worked at Sports Authority, and that I should be getting a job with UnitedHealth Group which starts in September. She was fine with that.
So we meet up. We hit it off right away. Things are going perfect. We make out in the parking lot at night and carry the makeout session in the back of my car.
We decide to meet up again a few days later, both excited to see each other. She's texting me every day, and calling me to talk at nights. She's genuinely interested in me, and even said when there's something you want, you fight for it.
I take her out for dinner to a place she's never been to. Then we hit the movies.
The next day, she calls me and asks what I'll be doing that night. I tell her I'm hanging out with friends. She said well her and her friends will be heading to this area, but it'll be late at night. I tell her I'll meet her there when she gets there. She's so happy to see me, showing me off to her friends who are all in relationships. I liked that. We go outside and walk and sit on a bench. She's had a few, and starts talking about her ex husband, and how he hasn't served her with the divorce papers, and how she had to support the two of them, because he didn't move up with company or wasn't who he really was. She was crying, and felt jaded about my job situation, because she didn't want to go through with that again. She says whatever happens, she wanted to let me know that she was really glad to have met me, and hoped we can be friends. I told her everything was going to work out. She then kisses me, and wants to have sex, so we go back to my car in the backseat where it was just awful.
She texts me the next day, and says if I'm free Wednesday night, and she'll cook me dinner. I said that would be great. Day arrives, we eat, sit on the couch close to each to each other watching TV. She's sniffing a lot, not feeling well. She tells me she can't do this. Not have a man over. She said I was the first man she has invited over since her ex husband. She says it was mistake to have tried dating again, and that she needs to get her life in order before trying again. I'm just putting on my shoes, a bit sad, telling her how I feel, and that it was nice to connect with someone right off the bat. I can't look at her, and she's just comforting me, rubbing my back, etc.. We then hold each other laying on the couch. I jokingly tell her I won't get to see her naked anymore. She then grabs my hand and puts it under her shirt. We're then making out, and she says if I wanted to take it to her room. We go have sex, shower together, and go to bed. The next day she's fine.
She works in the medical sales industry, and travels sometimes. A few days later we talk about it, and I tell her I can stay over and drive her to the airport early in the morning. She agrees, we get dinner the night before, go back to her place, eat, watch TV, and have sex again. I drop her off at the airport. While staying in Philly for work, she's texting saying how much she misses me, and wishes I was there. When she got back, I'm back at her place again the following day. No sex, but we get a bite for dinner, watch a movie, and hit the sack.
She got an official word on her getting a new job where she'll be travelling a lot. Like only be homes on the weekends. We both celebrate with dinner on our new jobs. I knew something was up with her from the get go. I mean she was grabbing my hand while driving, and holding it when walking out in public, but something was still up. We get back her place parked in my car. She starts to cry again, talking about how this is not going to work, she shouldn't be in a relationship, and how she's going through all these emotions with finally being served the divorced papers. I tell her let's go inside to talk about it. we're sitting on her bed, talking about it, and i'm just sitting there confused about her going back and forth with how she felt about me, and her not ready to date again. She says I'm sweating, turns on the AC, and tells me to get in bed if I wanted to. No sex, but we're just holding each other, being playful, and talking about each other. Next morning roles around, and it's final. She said she needs to focus on her new job, and the reason why she took it was because she needed it, and to take her mind off her problems. This was two days ago.
That was it. For once, I didn't do anything wrong, guys. Maybe in hindsight I should've been more alerted about her being conflicted about dating me or dating in general again, and it was my fault I continued letting this happen for longer. She was so happy to be with me. Called me almost every night. Told her family and friends about me.
7 dates altogether, which I know you guys say isn't a lot still, but i'm bummed out again. I meet a genuine girl who really liked and cared for me, we connected and had chemistry, and this had to happen. My life was turning around. I just got a new decent paying job, and I had met this wonderful woman. I'm heartbroken again. The day she broke it off, she said she had a girls night out. I was out with my friends, and I texted her saying I hope she's having a good time with her GFs, and I'm in dowtown St Pete at The Canopy. I then see her walk up to me, shocked she was there, too. She looked amazing, and yet I couldn't look at her in the eyes. I introduce her to my friends, and they're trying to butter me up in front of her. I'm a bit sad, and even see her and her friends talk to a guy that walked up to them. I texted her saying how happy she looked talking to other guys, and she seemed happy to be free from me. She texted saying how the guy talking to them she'd be least interested in, and it wasn't like I wasn't in her thoughts.
I want to remain friends with her. She'd be the first legit girl since this dating game where I want to stay in contact with, but it just kinda sucks not getting a text from her anymore in the mornings asking how I slept, and anticipating our next meet up.
Sorry Dating GAF. For once I didn't blow it. And what happens? Another failure.
For ONCE I didn't screw up with a girl. Not my fault at all. So here's the rundown:
Met a girl on OKC. Gave my phone number and left the ball in her court. A day later she texts me. Literally after I get out of a movie with a girl I went with.
We were texting all night until 3am. She told me when she read my profile it was like as if she created it herself. We set for a plan to meet up on a Friday. She couldn't wait, and wanted to meet me sooner. We decided to meet a few days earlier. Before we did meet up, she wanted to talk on the phone. I was fine with that. We talked more. I told her I worked at Sports Authority, and that I should be getting a job with UnitedHealth Group which starts in September. She was fine with that.
So we meet up. We hit it off right away. Things are going perfect. We make out in the parking lot at night and carry the makeout session in the back of my car.
We decide to meet up again a few days later, both excited to see each other. She's texting me every day, and calling me to talk at nights. She's genuinely interested in me, and even said when there's something you want, you fight for it.
I take her out for dinner to a place she's never been to. Then we hit the movies.
The next day, she calls me and asks what I'll be doing that night. I tell her I'm hanging out with friends. She said well her and her friends will be heading to this area, but it'll be late at night. I tell her I'll meet her there when she gets there. She's so happy to see me, showing me off to her friends who are all in relationships. I liked that. We go outside and walk and sit on a bench. She's had a few, and starts talking about her ex husband, and how he hasn't served her with the divorce papers, and how she had to support the two of them, because he didn't move up with company or wasn't who he really was. She was crying, and felt jaded about my job situation, because she didn't want to go through with that again. She says whatever happens, she wanted to let me know that she was really glad to have met me, and hoped we can be friends. I told her everything was going to work out. She then kisses me, and wants to have sex, so we go back to my car in the backseat where it was just awful.
She texts me the next day, and says if I'm free Wednesday night, and she'll cook me dinner. I said that would be great. Day arrives, we eat, sit on the couch close to each to each other watching TV. She's sniffing a lot, not feeling well. She tells me she can't do this. Not have a man over. She said I was the first man she has invited over since her ex husband. She says it was mistake to have tried dating again, and that she needs to get her life in order before trying again. I'm just putting on my shoes, a bit sad, telling her how I feel, and that it was nice to connect with someone right off the bat. I can't look at her, and she's just comforting me, rubbing my back, etc.. We then hold each other laying on the couch. I jokingly tell her I won't get to see her naked anymore. She then grabs my hand and puts it under her shirt. We're then making out, and she says if I wanted to take it to her room. We go have sex, shower together, and go to bed. The next day she's fine.
She works in the medical sales industry, and travels sometimes. A few days later we talk about it, and I tell her I can stay over and drive her to the airport early in the morning. She agrees, we get dinner the night before, go back to her place, eat, watch TV, and have sex again. I drop her off at the airport. While staying in Philly for work, she's texting saying how much she misses me, and wishes I was there. When she got back, I'm back at her place again the following day. No sex, but we get a bite for dinner, watch a movie, and hit the sack.
She got an official word on her getting a new job where she'll be travelling a lot. Like only be homes on the weekends. We both celebrate with dinner on our new jobs. I knew something was up with her from the get go. I mean she was grabbing my hand while driving, and holding it when walking out in public, but something was still up. We get back her place parked in my car. She starts to cry again, talking about how this is not going to work, she shouldn't be in a relationship, and how she's going through all these emotions with finally being served the divorced papers. I tell her let's go inside to talk about it. we're sitting on her bed, talking about it, and i'm just sitting there confused about her going back and forth with how she felt about me, and her not ready to date again. She says I'm sweating, turns on the AC, and tells me to get in bed if I wanted to. No sex, but we're just holding each other, being playful, and talking about each other. Next morning roles around, and it's final. She said she needs to focus on her new job, and the reason why she took it was because she needed it, and to take her mind off her problems. This was two days ago.
That was it. For once, I didn't do anything wrong, guys. Maybe in hindsight I should've been more alerted about her being conflicted about dating me or dating in general again, and it was my fault I continued letting this happen for longer. She was so happy to be with me. Called me almost every night. Told her family and friends about me.
7 dates altogether, which I know you guys say isn't a lot still, but i'm bummed out again. I meet a genuine girl who really liked and cared for me, we connected and had chemistry, and this had to happen. My life was turning around. I just got a new decent paying job, and I had met this wonderful woman. I'm heartbroken again. The day she broke it off, she said she had a girls night out. I was out with my friends, and I texted her saying I hope she's having a good time with her GFs, and I'm in dowtown St Pete at The Canopy. I then see her walk up to me, shocked she was there, too. She looked amazing, and yet I couldn't look at her in the eyes. I introduce her to my friends, and they're trying to butter me up in front of her. I'm a bit sad, and even see her and her friends talk to a guy that walked up to them. I texted her saying how happy she looked talking to other guys, and she seemed happy to be free from me. She texted saying how the guy talking to them she'd be least interested in, and it wasn't like I wasn't in her thoughts.
I want to remain friends with her. She'd be the first legit girl since this dating game where I want to stay in contact with, but it just kinda sucks not getting a text from her anymore in the mornings asking how I slept, and anticipating our next meet up.
Sorry Dating GAF. For once I didn't blow it. And what happens? Another failure.
How is this a failure man? You met a girl that you enjoyed spending time with. You had a great time together. You had sex, initiated sexual contact, and overall things went well.
This wasn't a failure at all. You killed it.
I'd respect her situation. If I were you, I wouldn't remain friends. I have trouble letting go of emotions and seeing her out and about will eventually get to you.
You've been doing this a while. I've been doing this a while. Look where you're at right now. Imagine if the Jason's Ultimatum of a few years ago was reading this post. I bet he'd think it was a complete success. You're looking from a skewed point of reference and you needa ground yourself a little bit.
It's funny, because even at the end of this whole exchange I saw a little bit of your old/past self.
This text:
I experience the same thing. When I lose someone i really care about and really saw a future with, I return to my old unconfident, insecure self. When I feel like I've lost complete control. Take a second and look back at your experience and how successful it was. And now, date more people
Your Entertainer
Member
^^^ Almost sounds like borderline personality disorder... Rough situation man but sounds like more trouble than it's worth.
Ray Wonder
Founder of the Wounded Tagless Children
I've fallen into a personal rut where I'm on Tinder. I get to the point where I get their number and have the clues that they want to go out, and I never text/call them. I feel like my motivation is slipping a bit. Has anyone else been through something like this?
I'm currently somewhere here. I have no motivation with women right now. I've had some rough experiences my past few Tinder relationships
(cheated on, twice)
Messofanego
Banned
Ask them when they're next free, and then go on a date.
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
Yeah, her divorce, being in debt from college, and trying to find a new job. She has a master's degree, and works in medical sales. She has a very nice two story house.
I wouldn't say borderline personality disorder. She was so sweet, funny, and really cared for me. As I said, I was the first guy since her ex husband she invited over, and the first guy she introduced to her friends since her ex husband.
As I've said, I think this is partly my fault. I tried to comfort her telling her everything was going to be ok, and that when I get the UHG job, everything will be ok. When I got the job offer, I thought of her, and realized hopefully everything would be alright between the two of us.
I told her her getting the new job where she'll be travelling 90% of the time wouldn't be an issue. We would both focus on our new careers, and see each other on the weekends. She even said she wouldn't do that particular job forever. She would put her time in, and find another position within the company where she wouldn't travel as much. She wasn't having it. I asked her if this was all about me, or if she wasn't feeling the connection anymore. She said it's really her, and not me, and that she needs to get her life together. I dunno, I'm pretty confident she really means its her and not me.
I guess how would I feel about her situation if the shoe was on the other foot? I know you guys have said I need to get my life in order when it came to getting a good job after working retail for so long, and not focus on dating. Seems like a legit reason.
Oh well. It's hard not to think about her.
I wouldn't say borderline personality disorder. She was so sweet, funny, and really cared for me. As I said, I was the first guy since her ex husband she invited over, and the first guy she introduced to her friends since her ex husband.
As I've said, I think this is partly my fault. I tried to comfort her telling her everything was going to be ok, and that when I get the UHG job, everything will be ok. When I got the job offer, I thought of her, and realized hopefully everything would be alright between the two of us.
I told her her getting the new job where she'll be travelling 90% of the time wouldn't be an issue. We would both focus on our new careers, and see each other on the weekends. She even said she wouldn't do that particular job forever. She would put her time in, and find another position within the company where she wouldn't travel as much. She wasn't having it. I asked her if this was all about me, or if she wasn't feeling the connection anymore. She said it's really her, and not me, and that she needs to get her life together. I dunno, I'm pretty confident she really means its her and not me.
I guess how would I feel about her situation if the shoe was on the other foot? I know you guys have said I need to get my life in order when it came to getting a good job after working retail for so long, and not focus on dating. Seems like a legit reason.
Oh well. It's hard not to think about her.
stn
Member
I wouldn't say you failed, man. You had some sexy time, met a cool person, and all that jazz. Glass half-full, no? However, I have my hunch as to why this may not have worked. You seem like a guy who has intense interactions, be it long texts, cuddling, hugs, or deep conversations. And going by how you have approached relationships before, my guess perhaps some of your "passion" slipped up. That stuff just never works with someone who has baggage. People with baggage are looking for mindless. But why should her baggage be your failure?
Ray Wonder
Founder of the Wounded Tagless Children
This is exactly my situation, besides the cheating. I would kill to be able to chill on my couch with a girl in sweats and ponytail on my shoulder watching Stranger Things, but I don't feel like going through the motions. I need to get my thyroid checked or some shit.
I have but I just can't work up the motivation to care as much right now.
Etrian Oddity
Member
Not a failure friend...... Simply put, I don't date women who are separated or coming out of a divorce, period. I "helped" someone going through their divorce and she shoved my ass to the ground once her feelings were "ok". Move on brother.
Blitzrules240
Banned
Oh hey OT6.
I haven't posted in a long time.
I've kinda shunned the online dating apps, I kept Coffee Meets Bagel though that hasn't faired too well. Recently been chatting with an old high school classmate, we talk constantly, She just wants friendship for now but I think we have good chemistry. Planning on getting a drink this weekend after payday. I just want to not overthink things and with her, I'm not.
Hope ya'll are well.
I haven't posted in a long time.
I've kinda shunned the online dating apps, I kept Coffee Meets Bagel though that hasn't faired too well. Recently been chatting with an old high school classmate, we talk constantly, She just wants friendship for now but I think we have good chemistry. Planning on getting a drink this weekend after payday. I just want to not overthink things and with her, I'm not.
Hope ya'll are well.
ZackieChan
Member
One flake shouldn't put you off. There will be a million more. Stiff upper lip, my friend!
Evidenced by the ridiculously detailed post of 3 dates with a woman. When no detail seems to be left behind, it's a sign that every little thing is being given way too much importance. It's not healthy!
Well guys. I'm almost to a 30 days 'no contact' with an ex that spurred me out of the blue and I handled It damn near flawlessly.
I've lived well for the past 4 weeks and really worked on myself. I'm 'sort of' over her and haven't contacted her.
We were both in weird spots. I actually liked her. I'm going to reach out as a friend in the next couple weeks. I know she's been checking up on me and is really attracted to me.
We shall see. Either way, this period of time and change really helped me get my shit straight. Moving on up, with or without her.
I've lived well for the past 4 weeks and really worked on myself. I'm 'sort of' over her and haven't contacted her.
We were both in weird spots. I actually liked her. I'm going to reach out as a friend in the next couple weeks. I know she's been checking up on me and is really attracted to me.
We shall see. Either way, this period of time and change really helped me get my shit straight. Moving on up, with or without her.
ZackieChan
Member
Why'd you break up?
We were both each other's rebounds. Her rela was much longer than mine. We moved too fast and it got imbalanced. I handled it well, she got uneven. Either way I'll say hey.
No expectations. For both of us, this was about growth. If we grow together, cool. If not, I hope she mends and moves forward.
Went on a 2nd date with a girl. We went and saw "don't breathe". She has an awesome personality, and is a lot of fun to talk to, but I can't push myself to build attraction towards her. She has a pretty face, but her upper body is very odd proportioned, it's hard to explain. Not talking about her boobs, more so her shoulders and back. I know it seems a bit shallow, but it turns me off.
Been over a year since I've been officially split with my ex, and I still haven't been able to pull a date with someone in the same ball park as her, when it comes to personality and attractiveness, she had the perfect combo. I just got extremely lucky, and fucked it up
Been over a year since I've been officially split with my ex, and I still haven't been able to pull a date with someone in the same ball park as her, when it comes to personality and attractiveness, she had the perfect combo. I just got extremely lucky, and fucked it up
I do enjoy her company/look forward to seeing her, yes. She's such a sweet natured girl and I feel I can have a decent conversation with her.
I'm just bothered by how I don't really feel anything towards her after each time we do it, whereas right now I'm looking forward to seeing her again. It's incredibly conflicting and it's making my mind a mess.
She's a lovely girl and I certainly don't wish to hurt her, so chances are I'll bite the bullet and tell her I'm not after anything too serious this Friday.
I was initially thinking of going with the flow, but you guys are probably right.
What a mess.
Try not to think about that kind of thing. I tell myself that too.
War Peaceman
You're a big guy.
This is my read too.
That said, I don't actually think you did anything wrong. Sounds like you had a lovely time and she wasn't ready for you.
You seem an intense person, Jason. That will put some people off, but as long as you arent excessive, you should embrace who you are. There are many people who will love that passion, whilst others may prefer someone more related and detached like myself. You can't please everyone.
Incendiary
Banned
I've kind of hit a similar rut - except I'm not even interested in messaging the girls anymore. I just flip through saying yes or no, but let all my matches slide by the way side because I don't feel like putting effort in. Dating is exhausting (especially if you're an introvert like I am) and sometimes you just need a break.
This is what I got from his long post. A month of dating is great, but also still only the start. Also the "you look happy to be free of me" text was a bit too wallowing in self-pity - if there's any chance of the girl eventually getting over her divorce and being interested in you again, don't pull any of this woe is me stuff, it's only going to make you less attractive. Trust me, I know from experience.
Couldn't agree more. It never never never ever works.
I'm in the process of getting over the last girl I was seeing. And all I can think about was how much I invested in getting to know her. Getting to know people is exhausting, and takes work. Now I feel so fucking stupid for not being more forward because I think things would've worked out differently if I was. I'm trying not to think about it, but it's tough .
Now I have to go back to square one with some other girl but now I probably won't even have the time for anything serious. It's just a huge bummer. I don't have the motivation right now but I'm hoping I come around sooner rather than later.
DeathoftheEndless
Crashing this plane... with no survivors!
Yeah, I've been jaded with online dating multiple times. When its not working, it can get very discouraging.
This. God this. Sometimes I feel like I simply do not wanna go through all those first baby steps again. It's slow and exhausting after a while. To get to the point where I was with my ex is gonna take a long time. I'm sure it won't be a problem if I find the right person that I love spending time with but as of right now it just feels like a pain.
I go through ups and downs with it...kind of not in the mood for it lately despite a couple of great dates recently.
Not just for online dating either...my friend is trying to set me up with someone he knows in this area...and I haven't been great at messaging her back either even though she seems interesting.
Comparing your dates to your ex (or exes) is a recipe for disaster. Either you hold the ex up on a pedestal that others can never hope to reach, or you remember every negative trait about an ex and if the date does something remotely similar and unnecessary warning signals blare in your head.
I mean, if you're not attracted to someone you're not attracted, but the practice of comparing two people in such a way just isn't a good idea. Everyone's different after all.
Wow that's like super passive aggressive and not really a good look.
You got overinvested in this lady, and she just wasn't in the right mindset for a relationship. Wrong place at the wrong time. It sucks, but it happens.
But sending texts like that is just... I dunno. It reeks of 'Nice Guy' vibes.
It does have a "how dare you" douche vibe to it. And of course once again you have done NOTHING wrong, right, buddy???
Jason, you have a sense of entitlement that's really kind of disgusting.
The ink hasn't even dried on her divorce -- hell, the papers haven't even been served -- do you really expect that she would hop right into a long-term relationship with you? She needs to work her shit out, not deal with a clingy petty manchild.
Grow the fuck up.
Jason, you have a sense of entitlement that's really kind of disgusting.
The ink hasn't even dried on her divorce -- hell, the papers haven't even been served -- do you really expect that she would hop right into a long-term relationship with you? She needs to work her shit out, not deal with a clingy petty manchild.
Grow the fuck up.
stn
Member
100% agreed. The more I look back on Jason's post, the more I realize he did in fact make some mistakes that worked against him. Jason - you need to stop going 0-to-100 in such a short time. Telling a girl she looks happy with someone else not only says you have jealousy and attachment issues, but also reeks of insecurity.gaiages said:
Also, you mentioned telling her that you were going to work for some new company and that she was "alright" with that. First off, why should you have to justify yourself? Second, doing so makes it feel like you're already trying to establish something long-term. Chill out, man. Use your physical appeal to meet women, have fun, and screw around. Let the other party make the emotional connection before you do.
Incendiary
Banned
I wish I was able to meet women outside of online dating because it really is stressful. With the amount of friends I have, I feel like some of them should have female friends that I could hit it off with, but nothing like that ever materializes. I have to 100% do all the searching and messaging and nothing is organic and natural, it feels almost like a second job. And when I'm striking out left and right it feels better to just forget for a while and focus on what I enjoy doing.
I dated a divorcee who had been divorced for over a year, and she still had issues regarding it. A good chunk of our first date was her talking about how much her ex-husband sucked. I can't imagine being the first person to date a fresh divorcee. It would take a lot of patience and understanding - something Jason doesn't seem to have regarding relationships.
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
Well, she did make the connection with me, too. She stopped talking to other potential guys after our first date. I don't even text too much. That stopped many months ago. I didn't come off clingy whether with her. She always texted me first in the mornings. I'd text her if I had free time.
She called me last night to talk about this. I told her I want to be friends and still hang out. She really did find me attractive and cared for me. She told me last night that she thinks about me.
She said maybe after she's settled with her new job, and put her ex husband behind, then we could try it again, but she doesn't want me to wait for her. Pretty unrealistic for us to come back together in a year or whatever.
I just need my new job to start to take my mind off things. Sitting around at home most of the time makes it worse.
Edit-the texting til 3am was our first texting convo. Lol and she's the one that was so invested in wanting to talk til 3am. Don't judge and think I'm still doing my old texting habits. That stopped months ago like I said.
i guess it was a mistake dating someone with baggage. Never really dated anyone since this online dating with baggage.
She called me last night to talk about this. I told her I want to be friends and still hang out. She really did find me attractive and cared for me. She told me last night that she thinks about me.
She said maybe after she's settled with her new job, and put her ex husband behind, then we could try it again, but she doesn't want me to wait for her. Pretty unrealistic for us to come back together in a year or whatever.
I just need my new job to start to take my mind off things. Sitting around at home most of the time makes it worse.
Edit-the texting til 3am was our first texting convo. Lol and she's the one that was so invested in wanting to talk til 3am. Don't judge and think I'm still doing my old texting habits. That stopped months ago like I said.
i guess it was a mistake dating someone with baggage. Never really dated anyone since this online dating with baggage.
I may as well come out with what's happening with me.
You all already know about the guy I was seeing/flirting/slept with once for the past week. The same guy I was going to see last weekend happened to cancel at the last minute, saying he had to cover someone else's shift at his job. I wasn't too broken up about it, stuff like this happens, plus I was dealing with some last-minute problems that would've prevented me from going out that day anyway. From there, we immediately started figuring out plans to make up for the botched date, and we parted for the night on good terms. I wake up the next morning...and I find that he blocked me on Facebook. Not unfriended, straight-up blocked from seeing him with zero warning.
I was too embarrassed and frustrated to talk about this until now. Maybe it's because I'm getting burned out from all the constant false starts and zero responses, maybe it's my being used to getting jerked around by people in general, maybe it's just my depression getting the best of me. I'm not letting it control me, though at this point, I don't feel like I'm ever going to get anywhere at this point in time. Right now, I'm just trying my mind off of the whole thing.
You all already know about the guy I was seeing/flirting/slept with once for the past week. The same guy I was going to see last weekend happened to cancel at the last minute, saying he had to cover someone else's shift at his job. I wasn't too broken up about it, stuff like this happens, plus I was dealing with some last-minute problems that would've prevented me from going out that day anyway. From there, we immediately started figuring out plans to make up for the botched date, and we parted for the night on good terms. I wake up the next morning...and I find that he blocked me on Facebook. Not unfriended, straight-up blocked from seeing him with zero warning.
I was too embarrassed and frustrated to talk about this until now. Maybe it's because I'm getting burned out from all the constant false starts and zero responses, maybe it's my being used to getting jerked around by people in general, maybe it's just my depression getting the best of me. I'm not letting it control me, though at this point, I don't feel like I'm ever going to get anywhere at this point in time. Right now, I'm just trying my mind off of the whole thing.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
She didn't get that attached considering your current situation. I don't think she's "heart broken" tbh.
Sure she might have been initially excited to chat til 3am but I'm guessing you were pretty damn into it as well. Next time tell the girl you've got to go to bed or play videogames or something. Don't get so caught up in it so quickly.
Am I reading this right that you've only been seeing eachother for two weeks? You would do well to heed the advice that is given time and time again this thread: don't get too invested early. People will flake, people will be shitty and just block you outright, people will get a response back from that other person he/she wanted more and drop everyone else in a moment's notice. By talking to other people and thereby not getting too invested until things are more stable, you avoid these situations and the heartache that follows. Trust me, I've been there.
Yeah, this. Frankly, many girls (most I'd wager) will be MORE interested in you if you break off mid-conversation.
EDIT: oops double post. Forgot I had already posted
I hate playing these kind of games -__-
stn
Member
But you are. And you did. It doesn't matter who started it or who wanted it, the fact is you texted her until 3AM. You could have made a conscious decision to stop it midway. You need to understand the flaw in your thinking (trust me, I feel you. I know what you mean. But its still wrong).
It's not a game. Why would you wanna text a random person you've never met til 3 am? i get that the conversation might be fun and flirty and exciting, but cmon... Save yourself from these kinds of situations. Maintain some dignity. There are reasons certain things keep happening to the same people in these threads over and over again.
It's not really a game, it's just "Hey, going to sleep. Chat later."
Well he does sound like a passive-aggressive douche with the blocking, but overall it's just you getting attached early and quickly. The false starts and zero responses is just part of dating - some things shake out, but a lot don't. Not letting it control you is the best thing you can do.
Ah, I get that now.
In chats I feel both parties assumed those are things you kind of get to when you can get to them. They're passive, not direct - there's no urgency in them.
I'm back and forth with a girl right now and it's, maybe, one or two messages a day (through an app, though, so not texting so maybe I'm wrong).
ZackieChan
Member
Then don't make it a game. Make it your actual situation that you have other things going on that prevent you from replying right away and texting until 3am.
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