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[Melkezadek]

Not making this thread not to be shamed. I'm genuinely trying to reach out and fix this before it consumes me.

Before the 2016 elections, I lived my life giving people the benefit of the doubt. Not everyone was racist/bigoted and most people were good natured. Naive, probably, but it got me through 30 years pretty well and I feel it led me to all the success I've had thus far. Never had a problem making friends and building strong relationships. Even in Tennessee, where the culture was so different than what I was used to.

Then, over the course of 18 months, I found myself losing all my friends. Specifically my white friends. Slowly, their attitudes and stances started to change until I no longer recognized them. It was shocking and a little more than hurtful. In fact, it got so bad that I had to get help and start going to therapy. It helped a little, when it came to controlling my anger, but not much else.

Finally, the election happened and the masks had fallen away. Friends who clung to the "they're both bad" line ended up being full blown Trump supporters and starting to express some really hurtful positions that brought our friendships to aburpt ends. Honestly, I felt like everything I've ever been taught growing up about people and kindess had been turned on its head. It's been devastating.

Now, I know it's wrong to generalize. All my life I've been told to not judge a person by the color of their skin and I still believe this to be true. However, in TN, it was difficult to get over the fact that most white people I encountered in my day to day, probably voted for Trump. Obviously, not everyone who voted for him were full blown racists or bigoted. But actions have consequences and they share responsible in all the fuckery we're seeing now. I'm ashamed to admit, but because of this, I started to avoid engaging with white people to avoid knowing what they believe in altogether. Everywhere I went, I could always count on seeing a Confederate flag or some unwelcomed bumper sticker on a pickup truck. Constant reminders that I was in a lion's den, and needed to escape.

Here we are, 4 months later and I'm happy to report I'm no longer in the South. Back up here in my home state of N.Y. and it's been such a breath of fresh air. The difference in community is night and day. I would *never* see a "I love my Muslim neighbors" or "Black Lives Matter" sign down in TN. Never. I don't feel surrounded anymore, but I can't help but still feel the need to distance myself from white people. I found myself sounding like a textbook bigot, using expressions like "some of them are good people, but.." and making blanket generalizations I would hate to hear used used on black people. I try to be specific and say "white people in America" but it still sounds disgusting coming out of my mouth.

There is a lot of anger in this country right now. Justified anger. But I can't help but feel like it's taking me to a place I never thought I would be in. I don't like this genuine hatred that's fuming inside me and I'm not sure how to dispel it. Every day we're greeted with a news that only reinforces my resentment and I don't know how to curb it.

To those who are going through similar emotions, how are you dealing with it? It's hard to think of myself as a good person when I have these thoughts every day.

I would appreciate some advice on this and would like to hear if others are going through similar struggles.

 

[Kthulhu]

The sad reality is that the vast majority of this country is in some degree bigoted.

There's nothing you can really do about it other than calling it out, becoming an activist, or donating to a cause.

If anything, your situation should motivate you more. If some of the people you know are willing to listen, try explaining to them why their views are wrong.

 

[takriel]

Lost all your friends? Damn, this is really sad. Please go out, visit bars, do some activities in which you can encounter new and hopefully more tolerant people!

 

[Dio]

Thankfully, I live somewhere where that isn't too much of a problem.

That being said, I work with a lot of older people who listen to evangelical talk radio, watch FOX/CNN all day, etc. who thought Hillary Clinton was the devil during the election cycle. I've also heard things along the lines of 'I had to unfriend X person because they came out as trans, I don't want that perverse trash on my wall' or 'Obama is forcing all of the military to convert to Islam' sort of stuff.

You take it in stride if your job rides on it. I just don't talk politics if I can help it, and only bother online because my job's about making the clients comfortable in their later years and helping them, not engaging them in political debate.

It's only gotten worse since the election ended.

I get all my venting done on the internet these days.

Funnily enough, I was giving a friend of mine a ride (he's my age) and I brought up how it's so crazy that Mike Pence was supportive of electroshock therapy for gays to 'cure them of the gay'. He then said 'good.'

Of course, I'm not confrontational enough, but if I was, I probably would have left him on the curb for that remark, but I didn't. I still think about it.

 

[The Last Wizard]

Welcome to the real world buddy:/

 

[Realyst]

In my experience, a good chunk of the everyday bigots you met and know in TN were like the ones I know in Alabama: bigoted against a group (black people in general, muslims, liberals, LBGTQ, etc.), but were very sociable to individuals. It's weird because they appreciate me, a black man, being "not like the others". They think I'm the exception to the rule.

My best friend (who happens to be white) has, in his words, a family where half are super racist, yet they all love me to death. Now, that's not stopping them from saying some real heinous shit in my presence about black people in general or other races and groups. I think of this as general ignorance towards "outsiders" than pure unadulterated hate. I try my best to recondition them to be more open, but the older ones are pretty much set in their ways unfortunately.

Like you, I was falling into depression for most of last year, and hit rock bottom after the election. One thing that has given me hope is when I came politically active again after a good while and noticed most of the local democrats and progressives are mostly white and very sympathetic to the plights of other groups. They gave me a renewed since of pride and optimism that I had been lacking for so long.

Just remember, there are truly good people in all parts of the country. The majority of the country did not vote for Trump and his policies. There are folks that believe we're all in this together and are willing to fight; not just themselves and their beliefs, but for others as well.

 

[Spring-Loaded]

All that's left is to act as you had when you had a positive outlook, but never let your guard down and strive not to get emotionally invested you're not sure about.

There's no way to truly shake that feeling beyond learning process that distrust and wariness of people. Having to routinely go through the steps to get from being angry at people's hate/ignorance to feeling sorry for them takes a lot of focus. Being somewhere where you know half the people hate people for their skin color and most of the other half are ambivalent is exhausting. Trusting that someone isn't a bigot and then getting burned is the worst. Let people prove they're decent before you get close.

You're not alone. Just know it's a waste of mental wellbeing dwelling on "what have I become?" for feeling this way when your country has given you quantifiable reasons to do so. Just try to keep doing what's right in spite of that—it's a good way of meeting decent people, which in turn reminds you not everyone is trash.

 

[PancakeBurglar]

Yeah as I get older I realize there are a lot of shitty people in the world. Racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, greed, selfishness are all common in the world. People seem ignorant by nature unfortunately, I try to avoid acting like that the best I can and find my own flaws to work on. I can be a real asshole at times but I at least do my best to avoid some of the things I mentioned earlier. Being a decent human being takes work and some people don't want to put in the effort.

 

[RinsFury]

I've had to remove many white friends and acquaintances from my life over the past year so I know the feeling. Most of them wouldn't say a word to your face, but then post and share pro-Trump alt right racist trash on Facebook. It was honestly a good way to trim down my social circle, I removed every single person supporting that shit and I'm much happier for it. I'll admit to being wary now when dealing with white people, in that I'm a hell of a lot more skeptical when it comes to their political views and motives, but I don't think there is anything inherently wrong with that. The numbers that went out and voted for Trump really exposed the racial divide in this country more than ever.

 

[zorlaczerohero]

I feel ya OP, my brother voted for Brexit, he's intelligent enough to make his own decisions. I've spent the last year trying to understand his stance, how it's not about immigrants, it's about the EU over-reaching on controlling us, the British people. Then after Article 50 was enacted he posts some shite about Europe not doing its part to take immigrants and how they're all in the UK, adds to it with the Shite of "If the EU is so fucking great why are all the immigrants trying to get here (UK)". They all hide behind thinly veiled ideals of national pride, but it's just racism, hidden behind nationalism. I don't talk to my brother anymore, he's a cunt.

 

[Skellig Gra]

The sad reality is that the vast majority of this country is in some degree bigoted.

There's nothing you can really do about it other than calling it out, becoming an activist, or donating to a cause.

If anything, your situation should motivate you more. If some of the people you know are willing to listen, try explaining to them why their views are wrong.

Vast majority of the world.

 

[Lum1n3s]

Originally my views of white people in the US were okay but after having a negative experience with them they've changed. Have been called racist things by them and have seen other people who are close to me experience the same thing. If anything this Trump nonsense solidified my negative views on them even more sadly. My parents don't like them as well and I feel like a lot of Latinos feel the same.

 

[Zaru]

Originally my views of white people in the US were okay but after having a negative experience with them they've changed. Have been called racist things by them and have seen other people who are close to me experience the same thing. If anything this Trump nonsense solidified my negative views on them even more sadly. My parents don't like them as well and I feel like a lot of Latinos feel the same.

Convince me that your views are in any way more valid than when a white person dislikes black people because of negative personal experiences.

 

[Lum1n3s]

Convince me that your views are in any way more valid than when a white person dislikes black people because of negative personal experiences.

I'm lumping in this Trump nonsense as well as many other things that have happened in the news into my views sadly. I'm not here to spread them to anyone because they're mine and mine alone.

Am I proud of them? No, because I shouldn't be feeling this way but I'm always able to learn and change. My dad when he first came had a negative perception towards Blacks and I remember when I was little my best friend who was Black wasn't allowed in the house and asked me why I always hung out with him. After a while though he noticed he was a nice person and changed his perception towards them and was eventually allowed inside and considered family. So yeah, maybe I can change like him if I have some positive experiences but so far they've all been negative.

 

[The Lamp]

I completely relate with you OP. It was even worse when I went to France a few weeks ago for a week because I was reminded what a shit hole this embarrassing country is.

I actually don't even want to hang out with my white friends here in Texas as much as I used to, because the vast majority of them are either Trump supporters or don't think Hillary would have been better. As a bisexual Hispanic, I need more allies, so fuck my straight white friends being nonchalant as my life gets more oppressed. One of my extremely intelligent and educated white friends is so fed up with America he's moving to South Korea in a month.

 

[LosDaddie]

OP, were you this deflated when the GOP had massive victories in 2010 and 2014? If not, then you should have been.

As for your question; Life goes on. It always does.

Best to work on yourself. Be the best person you can be. Be kind to those around you.

Convince me that your views are in any way more valid than when a white person dislikes black people because of negative personal experiences.

Funny how it works, right?

 

[Melkezadek]

OP, were you this deflated when the GOP had massive victories in 2010 and 2014? If not, then you should have

I'm not sure I follow you here. Trump campaigned on hate and wasn't even subtle with it. Did other campaigns throw black people and Muslims out of rallies for simply being there?

It isn't the same thing at all and I'm surprised you think it's comparable here.

 

[xKilltheMx]

OP, were you this deflated when the GOP had massive victories in 2010 and 2014? If not, then you should have been.

As for your question; Life goes on. It always does.

Best to work on yourself. Be the best person you can be. Be kind to those around you.




Funny how it works, right?

No OP shouldn't have, how dare you compare those elections to what just happened. This inst a typical election, nothing being OUTRIGHT said is normal. GOP sure loved their dog whistles before but they are straight up spouting hate language on the regular and we have literal neo-nazis in the white house. This is a wholly and thoroughly intellectually dishonest comment.

Your answer doesn't address a single thing OP has said except for with some generic advice and lack of sympathy, this post is bad and you should feel bad. (but i guarantee you wont)

 

[Makai]

Forgiveness

Obviously there's a limit you can extend to individuals but if you're uncomfortable around all white people because of a FPTP election, then that's on you.

 

[Ray Wonder]

Originally my views of white people in the US were okay but after having a negative experience with them they've changed. Have been called racist things by them and have seen other people who are close to me experience the same thing. If anything this Trump nonsense solidified my negative views on them even more sadly. My parents don't like them as well and I feel like a lot of Latinos feel the same.

I'm lumping in this Trump nonsense as well as many other things that have happened in the news into my views sadly. I'm not here to spread them to anyone because they're mine and mine alone.

Am I proud of them? No, because I shouldn't be feeling this way but I'm always able to learn and change. My dad when he first came had a negative perception towards Blacks and I remember when I was little my best friend who was Black wasn't allowed in the house and asked me why I always hung out with him. After a while though he noticed he was a nice person and changed his perception towards them and was eventually allowed inside and considered family. So yeah, maybe I can change like him if I have some positive experiences but so far they've all been negative.

Hm, that just sounds like you're racist. As well as your parents, and everyone else that you said feels the same as you.

 

[BajiBoxer]

OP, were you this deflated when the GOP had massive victories in 2010 and 2014? If not, then you should have been.

As for your question; Life goes on. It always does.

Best to work on yourself. Be the best person you can be. Be kind to those around you.




Funny how it works, right?

With every GOP victory, that becomes less likely, unfortunately. Also not really true for a lot of vulnerable people in the short term.

 

[Aurongel]

IST remember that many of the politicians in areas of the country are just a single generation removed from their parents who fought for segregation. We really aren't that far removed from a time many of us think was a long time ago.

 

[Lum1n3s]

Hm, that just sounds like you're racist. As well as your parents, and everyone else that you said feels the same as you.

Looks like it is, huh?

 

[Sheriff_Battlesnake]

I feel you. Living in Texas Trump Country has been difficult. Lucky for me all of my friends were progressives before the election and the tension pushed me to accept and love my leftist views in spite of being raised in an upper class conservative family, where liberal is a dirty word.

I've distanced myself further from the people that I already wasn't very close with. My immediate family, however, are Trump supporters. They've bought the fear of Muslims, the "radical black agenda" hoax, the "ObamaCare is in a death spiral." That's the hardest part for me.

I'm near Houston, about 30 miles south. Being so near a massive city means that the Democratic Party has reach over here. Rural areas probably have it a trillion times worse.

 

[LosDaddie]

I'm not sure I follow you here. Trump campaigned on hate and wasn't even subtle with it. Did other campaigns throw black people and Muslims out of rallies for simply being there?

It isn't the same thing at all and I'm surprised you think it's comparable here.

No OP shouldn't have, how dare you compare those elections to what just happened. This inst a typical election, nothing being OUTRIGHT said is normal. GOP sure loved their dog whistles before but they are straight up spouting hate language on the regular and we have literal neo-nazis in the white house. This is a wholly and thoroughly intellectually dishonest comment.

Your answer doesn't address a single thing OP has said except for with some generic advice and lack of sympathy, this post is bad and you should feel bad. (but i guarantee you wont)

I'd argue that the midterm victories, especially in 2010, were more damaging than DJT winnng last year. The same voters who put him in the WH were the same voters who helped GOP control the majority of state legislatures

So yes, it's comparable.

 

[Melkezadek]

I'd argue that the midterm victories, especially in 2010, were more damaging than DJT winnng last year. The same voters who put him in the WH were the same voters who helped GOP control the majority of state legislatures

So yes, it's comparable.

It's really not and I don't really think you believe that.

While the results of the midterms were obviously detrimental, I had no reason to believe that a person voted this way due to race resentments or others forms of bigotry. They simply had political difference. Trump didn't campaign on policy, he campaigned on fear and hatred. He encouraged violence at his rallies. He spoke openly about banning Muslims and called Mexicans killers and rapists...and a large portion of white people either voted for him anyway, or didn't vote at all. No one went into this ignorant of what he stood for.

If this happened during midterms, I would agree with you, but it didn't, which is why we are divided now more than ever. Did mosques burn down after midterms? Did hate crime go up after midterms. Were their demonstrations with private citizens rolling in tanks to intimidate minorities?

I think you're being disingenuous here.

edit: honestly, not really interested in engaging with you further on it. I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt and assuming you've been watching the news and seeing much of this for yourself. I didn't make this thread to justify my feelings. I made it to seek help on how to rid myself of this new prejudice that has formed as a result of the election. Some of the replies here have been helpful and I'm not going to waste my energy with you on this.

 

[Horns]

Things will never be the same with some of my family and friends. This election changed people and my views of them. The only thing that goes through my mind is 'only an idiot would have voted for Trump.' I've keeping away from many of them.

 

[Manmademan]

Congratulations! You've graduated from knowing that racism exists "in theory" to actually understanding how deep rooted and insidious bigotry and racism actually are in practice.

To your question in the OP: You don't "get over it." You embrace that understanding that these are not "misunderstood people who are good at heart" but instead bigoted pieces of shit you should have dropped sooner than you did.

You see bullshit coded language like "both sides are bad" then the next time you'll be prepared to call it out for what it is.

Genuinely good people can be hard to find (especially if you're in a rural area) but you'll appreciate them more when you do.

 

[Adam_Vania]

it is sad we can't keep pretending we fixed everything and that "America is Already Great"

 

[bemusedchunk]

move somewhere else.

 

[Zeke]

It's a no win situation op as minorities we are held to a different standard. We are expected to just take the abuse and not get uppity. This election was a big fuck you to non white Americans. All you can really do is surround yourself with good people of all backgrounds. I have a book suggestion for you op it's called Borderlands/La Frontera by Gloria Anzaldua it might give you some clarity and things to ponder over.

 

[BobNewbert31]

move somewhere else.

Uh, he did.

 

[Shadowhelper]

OP since yesterday, I have been feeling great anger towards Brexiters. My gf doesn't like me always insulting and being angry at them, but if she's going to have to bear it. I particularly like to call her friends, either dim or flat out uninformed for voting brexit. It's like 1 or 2 people, but one of them is a good friend. Well, I did it one night, lol, and she didn't like that. But I am feeling the rising urge again to argue with somebody.

When Brexit happened there was time period of anger but it went away, cuz at the end of the day, we all hoped Labour would block it, foolishly, or something good would happen. I'm just pissed off, going on holiday in two days, but don't feel like it.

Parents visiting from America. I'll make my move to there, hopefully. Just wanna chill with my dad and laugh at UK and EU, and make preparations to move back.

 

[AALLx]

You can try accepting the fact that you're not as good a person as you would like to believe yourself to be (most people aren't). I'm not sure it's healthy, but it definitely helps with reducing the burden.

 

[Ponn]

It's really not and I don't really think you believe that.

While the results of the midterms were obviously detrimental, I had no reason to believe that a person voted this way due to race resentments or others forms of bigotry. They simply had political difference. Trump didn't campaign on policy, he campaigned on fear and hatred. He encouraged violence at his rallies. He spoke openly about banning Muslims and called Mexicans killers and rapists...and a large portion of white people either voted for him anyway, or didn't vote at all. No one went into this ignorant of what he stood for.

If this happened during midterms, I would agree with you, but it didn't, which is why we are divided now more than ever. Did mosques burn down after midterms? Did hate crime go up after midterms. Were their demonstrations with private citizens rolling in tanks to intimidate minorities? L

I think you're being disingenuous here.

edit: honestly, not really interested in engaging with you further on it. I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt and assuming you've been watching the news and seeing much of this for yourself. I didn't make this thread to justify my feelings. I made it to seek help on how to rid myself of this new prejudice that has formed as a result of the election. Some of the replies here have been helpful and I'm not going to waste my energy with you on this.

So you bought into the "fiscal conservative" stuff huh? Do you really truly think people just magically became racist and bigoted when DJT ran for president? Breitbart and the alt-right have been around for awhile, it's just DJT and his rhetoric emboldened these people to not hide it anymore or pretend and use dog whistles. GOP policies haven't changed in the least, they always targeted minorities and have always been anti-LGBT. Look at the NC bathroom bill, that was well before DJT. Racism and bigotry isn't better just because its not overt. When people talk about "white privilege" (not declaring race here, just using in a general term) and being able to ignore that shit, this here is a perfect example of what they are talking about and it deserves some introspection.

What you seem to be really asking is how can you go back to being naive and ignore the injustices going on around you. You should be angry about the shit that has gone on and continues to go on, people should want feel resentment and the need to do something about it.

 

[Snowman Prophet of Doom]

Trust, but verify.

 

[teeny]

OP since yesterday, I have been feeling great anger towards Brexiters. My gf doesn't like me always insulting and being angry at them, but if she's going to have to bear it. I particularly like to call her friends, either dim or flat out uninformed for voting brexit. It's like 1 or 2 people, but one of them is a good friend. Well, I did it one night, lol, and she didn't like that. But I am feeling the rising urge again to argue with somebody.

When Brexit happened there was time period of anger but it went away, cuz at the end of the day, we all hoped Labour would block it, foolishly, or something good would happen. I'm just pissed off, going on holiday in two days, but don't feel like it.

Parents visiting from America. I'll make my move to there, hopefully. Just wanna chill with my dad and laugh at UK and EU, and make preparations to move back.

Choosing between Brexit and Trump is like choosing which shit sandwich to eat.

I feel for you OP. I'm in the UK and am not a minority, but I have never felt as isolated and helpless politically as I do at the moment. My oldest friend is a racist cunt. It was always there, I think, but now it's out in the open for all to see, worn proudly.

 

[Melkezadek]

So you bought into the "fiscal conservative" stuff huh? Do you really truly think people just magically became racist and bigoted when DJT ran for president? Breitbart and the alt-right have been around for awhile, it's just DJT and his rhetoric emboldened these people to not hide it anymore or pretend and use dog whistles. GOP policies haven't changed in the least, they always targeted minorities and have always been anti-LGBT. Look at the NC bathroom bill, that was well before DJT. Racism and bigotry isn't better just because its not overt. When people talk about white privilege and being able to ignore that shit this here is a perfect example of what they are talking about it and it deserves some introspection.

What you seem to be really asking is how can you go back to being naive and ignore the injustices going on around you.

So much...needless assumptions here. And I'mnot sure why you feel the need to be a prick about it.

You know nothing about me and you assume I've been under a rock. When people speak of liberal smugness, I think this is what they mean.

I'm addressing the point that white Americans overwhelmingly voted for a blatantly racist candidate. Because of that, I'm trying to rid myself of these feelings of prejudice that has spawn as a result. The post I quoted was in response to them saying that I should be just as mad about midterms because of the results. That is missing the point entirely. "You always be mad" is missing the entire point of the thread. Just another reason to talk down to someone.

 

[Shadowhelper]

Choosing between Brexit and Trump is like choosing which shit sandwich to eat.

I feel for you OP. I'm in the UK and am not a minority, but I have never felt as isolated and helpless politically as I do at the moment. My oldest friend is a racist cunt. It was always there, I think, but now it's out in the open for all to see, worn proudly.

Is it though? So many people found it weird that I stayed back in London instead of moving to America. Since I'm unmarried and my family is American i could've applied much earlier for a green card through my fathers lawyer.

What I mean is, Trump may be human garbage. Also directly impacted one of my immediate family members who was about to join Department of Homeland Security, but a lot of those jobs were axed immediately. Anyway, Trump isn't going to really badly harm the American economy though is he?

Anyway, America, will politically course correct. Will a scotlandless UK ever? And anyway, that's not even my main concern, if I am being honest. I'm just thinking about jobs and living standards. The main problem is, i'd have to find a new job, which I fucking hate doing, but better weather, and it might become a necessity anyway.

 

[UncleSporky]

I assume that most people I meet have some dark, dirty secret in their lives I might disapprove of if I knew. Sometimes it's a little less secret. Maybe it's support for Trump, maybe it's a particular racist or sexist belief, maybe it's some weird sexual stuff. Maybe they've cheated on a partner and are still working through the behaviors that led them down that path. Maybe they steal from work or spit in customers' food. Maybe they're merely friends with people who do or believe some of these things, and enable those behaviors by not condemning them hard enough.

But I don't understand how people live life while allowing themselves to get hung up on these things. I would go insane if I felt a compulsion to care that much about how everyone I meet thinks or feels. I can't imagine smiling and thanking a cashier and being torn up inside over the fact that she's white in my state and probably voted for Trump. So what? I had a nice interaction with her. I don't know her. She didn't bring up her thoughts on the matter and I didn't either. How strongly does she hold her political beliefs, anyway? Outside of a setting where that discussion becomes important, we're all just people.

I can't fathom cutting people out of my life, either. People I care about if not for one thing they said, that I can admonish and work on over time. Or even people who know I don't feel the same way as them, yet they continue to respect me and won't cut me out of their life over the difference, so I do the same. It's possible, even beneficial, to maintain acquaintances with ideological differences. Humans excel at living with dissonance and seemingly contradictory beliefs. That's what leads to growth and understanding.

What kind of a person would I be if someone held different beliefs than me, but was still willing to be a friend, and I was the one who abandoned them? Doesn't that just reinforce their opinion that people who hold those beliefs are heartless or unfriendly?

I won't self-segregate. I won't retreat into an echo chamber just to feel more comfortable - I don't need to convince those people of anything, we already agree. Meanwhile I can work on helping the ones who need helping without abandoning my own beliefs and feelings.

I suppose I'm just fortunate to begin from a standpoint that allows that. If I started with zero tolerance, then I'd have to compromise on those beliefs to get to where I am now. It must be really difficult to be that kind of person.

 

[Ponn]

So much...needless assumptions here. And I'mnot sure why you feel the need to be a prick about it.

You know nothing about me and you assume I've been under a rock. When people speak of liberal smugness, I think this is what they mean.

Are you actually going to engage in discussion? I wasn't being a prick about anything, I was just making an observation and telling you what I saw, its just the reality of what you are describing. If you don't feel thats correct then make an argument to why you feel that way. Your replies have made no actual effort to discuss just more along the lines of "please tell me what I want to hear to make me feel better"

 

[shandy706]

Sorry about that OP.

As a white guy from the South you would be welcome in my home and I'd hang with you anytime (as I would with anyone that wanted to).

It's definitely bad in a lot of places here now. I have a mixed niece and nephew (that would never pass as white) and it angers me that anyone would ever mistreat them. I love them and my brother-in-law. People who make any judgement based on skin color are worthless trash.

From one white guy that would gladly stand beside you, and most definitely did not vote for that piece of trash trump...I'm sorry so many people are horrible excuses for human beings.

Don't let the horrible people make you hate a race based on skin color...then you become like them. That just makes things worse.

 

[Glendemonium]

I feel you.

People that I knew, who consider themselves beacons of Christianity were full steam for Trump. One even admitted that he didn't care about the racism aspect, because he believed that God wanted Trump to win. Another freind, who is half Latino voted for Trump and believes in Alex Jones conspiracy stuff.

If that isn't absolute fuckery, I don't know what is.

Hard to call the "Christian" guy a friend anymore, part of me knew he could be a douche but it's like people become total strangers now.

 

[Melkezadek]

Are you actually going to engage in discussion? I wasn't being a prick about anything, I was just making an observation and telling you what I saw, its just the reality of what you are describing. If you don't feel thats correct then make an argument to why you feel that way. Your replies have made no actual effort to discuss just more along the lines of "please tell me what I want to hear to make me feel better"

Not really. I'm asking how do I overcome my feelings of prejudice. Have you answered that? You've taken one thing I've said in response to another poster and proceeded to tell me how I've ignored the struggles of other effected minorities.

If you wanted a discussion with me, then maybe you should have started with a discussion rather than an armchair psychoanalysis.

 

[Tye The Czar]

A lot of the Trump supporters I know aren't so much bigoted as they are desparate. They are the ones that quietly need your sympathy, because they got suckered. They are the working class, beaten down by big business and uncaring politicians. They are the perfect prey for the GOP.

This fantastic speech and interview from Michael Moore just picks them apart so perfectly.

This article from Cracked is also a fantastic look at some of their issues.


I have good friends I know that voted for him. But I refuse to hate them because of that.

If your friends are good to you in spite of their political beliefs and don't directly hurt themselves or others because of it, make sure you keep them. Division is what starts violence and civil wars.

 

[Ponn]

Not really. I'm asking how do I overcome my feelings of prejudice. Have you answered that?

I did answer it, you didn't want to think about what I said though and instead took it as an attack.

What you seem to be really asking is how can you go back to being naive and ignore the injustices going on around you. You should be angry about the shit that has gone on and continues to go on, people should want feel resentment and the need to do something about it.

If you are being altruistic here I will gladly dive deeper into the discussion with you. Before this election did you have a problem with your friends voting for the GOP? From your replies to Losdaddies i'm assuming you didn't the way you reacted so negatively to that and how quick you were to downplay what the GOP stood for back during those elections. My point, and I think the point he was making was just because these voters were running around attacking minorities or being loud about it didn't make them any less harmful to minorities or society. They were still voting in the GOP and their policies that as I said before target minorities and LGBT and were working to dismantle government safety nets. As long as they used dog whistles it was palatable to moderates, thats were the "privilege" comes in at. As long as a person isn't directly effected by these things and they aren't made uncomfortable by their friends and family being so blatant with it people let it slide. What really changed between then and now though? They just got the power to go through with what they wanted on a bigger scale. So ask yourself, by letting friends and family slide with their ideals just because they weren't blatant with it, how did that help minorities and LGBT communities? Take it a step further while we are on the subject, how can anyone that does that truly call themselves an "ally" of minority groups and the LGBT community?

So to further my point you were asking "how do i erase this prejudice or feelings of hatred". Well what do you really mean by that? Because it comes off alot like how do I get back to being able to let things slide without feeling angry. The reason you're feeling angry is because you should feel angry about the shit going on, you should be angry about the institutionalized racism, you should have been angry before and not let it slide with your friends because if they aren't called out on the shit then how will things ever change. More people should be angry about the stuff that has always gone on and continues to go on. It should make people uncomfortable and they need to lean into it because the moderates that stood by and didn't say anything, they didn't help anything and they never will. It's not prejudice to recognize the by far largest group that voted in Trump was white people, and they continue to support him and his racist and bigoted agendas. That's not being prejudice, its just a fact that I just wish MORE people would feel anger and disgust over.

 

[RinsFury]

I have good friends I know that voted for him. But I refuse to hate them because of that.

I guess you're a stronger person than me, there's no way I could continue being friends with anyone I knew voted for Trump.

 

[The Shadow]

Honestly OP, I think I got you beat there. My wife works for the Attorney General, so she and the rest of the office went into panic mode because the big boss got fired by Trump and didn't know if they'd have a job in the coming weeks. My dad's response to all this? That's politics. No sympathy. No, "I'm sure things'll work out". Just, That's politics.

No fucking shame.

I honestly have no fucking idea how to deal with that.

I have good friends I know that voted for him. But I refuse to hate them because of that.

That's a huge over-simplification. I'd say half if not most of my friends are republicans. After the election, I had to de-friend some of them. It wasn't simply because they voted for Trump. It was because they started being very outspoken and obnoxious about their racist and sexist feelings. The republican friends I have left largely voted for Trump for fiscal reasons.

The friends you keep are a good reflection of who you are. Do I want to stay friends with people who are openly sexist and racist? NOPE. I can say the ones I still have in my life are actually honest to god good people, even if we disagree on politics.

 

[kirblar]

A lot of the Trump supporters I know aren't so much bigoted as they are desparate. They are the ones that quietly need your sympathy, because they got suckered. They are the working class, beaten down by big business and uncaring politicians. They are the perfect prey for the GOP.

This fantastic speech and interview from Michael Moore just picks them apart so perfectly.

This article from Cracked is also a fantastic look at some of their issues.


I have good friends I know that voted for him. But I refuse to hate them because of that.

If your friends are good to you in spite of their political beliefs and don't directly hurt themselves or others because of it, make sure you keep them. Division is what starts violence and civil wars.

Funny how only white people got "suckered."

 

[Albino_Yeti]

I'm sorry you had that negative experience in Tennessee OP.

I've lived here all my life, in both the west and east, and the VAST majority of people I know are not racist, just about all of my friends are good friends with minorities. There are indeed bad apples, it looks like you were unfortunate enough to know many of them :/