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[Lum1n3s]

I'm coming to GAF on this one because I don't know what to do think or do right now. My cousin came to me today wanting to talk to me because he's noticed somethingwhile working with my brother. He told me that he saw him doing what looks like to be coke. From what he said he would walk off and go somewhere to sniff something from this tube.

He said that's the thing he used to sniff it and it's actually something that my other cousin noticed too who works with the two of them. The thing is my other cousin is someone who has done coke in the past and knows about it.

So yeah, when I was told this I wasn't sure what to think about it. The thing is he's been smoking weed for a while now and has done some stupid stuff before like steal money from my parents (which he one time did to hire a hooker) or comes back home super late. He said he would never try anything hardcore in the past but has told me not too long ago that he once tried ecstasy and acid among other things. He normally goes broke every week when he gets paid which is something around $500 in a matter of three days.

I don't know what's really going on with him and I've tried to have heart to hearts as his brother but he tears up with them crocodile tears and says he'll better himself. He also starts lying pathologically to no extent. Any advice on this one would be helpful because right now I'm feeling all types of way especially if it's true. Thanks for hearing me out in advance.

 

[Travo]

Hmm, tough one. You can tell him about what you've discovered and tell him that you'll be there to help him get help if he wants(. It's really up to him). Do you lend him money or help with bills in any way?

 

[Earthbound64]

He said that's the thing he used to sniff it

Have it tested?

 

[Lum1n3s]

Hmm, tough one. You can tell him about what you've discovered and tell him that you'll be there to help him get help if he wants(. It's really up to him). Do you lend him money or help with bills in any way?

No, that's the thing I live with my parents and he earns his money from working with my dads company. Every time he gets paid he uses it up in three days and we wonder where the money goes. He doesn't pay for any bills whatsoever which makes it even more strange too especially when he doesn't buy stuff when it comes to clothes, electronics and things of that nature.

If he doesn't want help though and denies it what do I do at that point because I feel like it's something that can't be going on while he's living here.

Have it tested?

Where can I do this?

 

[echoshifting]

What other evidence do you have that he has started using coke?

It would be helpful to know your objectives for the situation, too.

 

[Electric Eye]

Could be a lot of things actually coke isn't the only thing u can snort.

 

[linkboy]

Went through something similar to this with my brother (he was on oxycodone and meth). Truth be told, I'm surprised he's not dead. He's clean now and gotten his life back in order, but the worry is always there.

I hope everything works out and he's clean.

 

[Lum1n3s]

What other evidence do you have that he has started using coke?

It would be helpful to know your objectives for the situation, too.

If he's smoking weed, I'm fine with it seeing as how I don't see it as anything serious but what I'm not fine is if he moves on to any hardcore drugs. If that's the case I'm trying to see if he can change his habits by us helping him out or well having a talk with him. I especially don't want my little sister seeing that stuff, I told him to keep the smoking on the down low yet my sister managed to see him doing it which really upset me.

 

[Rektash]

With everything you have described your brother sounds like a pretty stereotypical addict.

No offense. I hope you will be able to help him.

 

[Strangelove77]

So if he is doing coke, what do you intend to do about it? What's the goal?
Hopefully it's not talking to him and pleading him to stop, because that's not going to work.
It doesn't sound like you yourself have any actual power over him since you're both living with your parents.
The only thing you could do is tell your parents and have them threaten him in some way so he'll stop. But that's about it.

And for the record, I'm not trying to discourage you from doing anything, I'm just curious what you think you can actually do about it.

 

[Robiin]

I had a friend long ago who was in a similar situation, albeit the discussion ended up being between my friend and his girlfriend (they lived together). What they ended up doing was talk with the employer and change so the salary would come into the girlfriend's bank account. Then each and every time he needed money, he would get it after explaining where the money would go and after he had to show receipts.

It's a bit silly doing this between adults but whatever is needed. Sorry about your situation, OP.

 

[hobozero]

I really don't want to add to your woes, but I've read that in the US if a person is dealing out of their parents home, the parents home could be seized in the event the dealer is ever arrested. If he's blowing through his cash and is always broke, chances are he isn't dealing, but cops can so easily change "possession" to "intent to distribute", and civil forfeiture sounds like such a nightmare.

it sucks, but it's in your and your parents best interests to find out whats going on

 

[Travo]

How old is he, OP? Could the parents issue an ultimatum to move?

 

[shira]

Where can I do this?

https://www.homehealthtesting.com/cocaine-crack-substance-test-p-91.html

$8.95

 

[Earthbound64]

Where can I do this?

Honestly not sure (I'm guessing the police wouldn't be a recommended first stop).
Maybe a college lab or something?

EDIT: Or what was suggested above.

 

[Durden77]

It's a tough thing to approach. Coke, imo, is one the dumbest drugs in existence. Not that I'm calling your brother dumb at all, people try drugs. But coke just takes and doesn't give much in return.

As with any drug, it's a hard thing to talk about, but coke can be especially tought because of the feeling it gives and the aggressively addictive tenancy of it. Be cautious and look after you brother. Notice of he starts acting differently, and keep track of that.

Hopefully it's just a phase he's going through. If he tries it for a while then stops, that's pretty normal. But if keeps going on, someone will have to bring it up with him if they care about them. Coke does not get nearly enough credit on how dangerous and life changing it can be. So don't let it continue. However, also be as sure as possible before going in. If you approach this in the wrong way you're just going to make it worse.

 

[Lum1n3s]

It's a tough thing to approach. Coke, imo, is one the dumbest drugs in existence. Not that I'm calling your brother dumb at all, people try drugs. But coke just takes and doesn't give much in return.

As with any drug, it's a hard thing to talk about, but coke can be especially tought because of the feeling it gives and the aggressively addictive tenancy of it. Be cautious and look after you brother. Notice of he starts acting differently, and keep track of that.

Hopefully it's just a phase he's going through. If he tries it for a while then stops, that's pretty normal. But if keeps going on, someone will have to bring it up with him if they care about them. Coke does not get nearly enough credit on how dangerous and life changing it can be. So don't let it continue. However, also be as sure as possible before going in. If you approach this in the wrong way you're just going to make it worse.

I'll do just that then, I'll make sure to keep on an eye on him and just be vigilant. He just turned 23... so who knows maybe it is a phase for him.

 

[TyrantII]

Coke is more of a party drug. I wouldn't be surprised if it's crushed oxycodone if he's sneaking hits in public. Which is bad news, as the next stop is heroin.

Sit down and talk to him.

 

[red731]

I would split it open to see insides and then use some home substance test as Shira wrote.

 

[shoelacer]

Have you thought about asking him if he's doing coke

 

[daviyoung]

Have you thought about asking him if he's doing coke

why do that when you can spend money and time cosplaying CSI?

 

[War Peaceman]

That's a coke pipe. Call the cops.

 

[Sleight of Jam]

If it is coke and not Nequik milkshake powder then from what you've describe it seems like talking to him and even bringing it up Witt your parents won't really help much. As you've said he's stolen money from them in the past.

If you can find out that this is actually coke then maybe informing your parents of everything may help. As you could hold an intervention (if he's blowing and stealing that much cash then it sounds like a drug addiction and could escalate further) and maybe look to find help for him to get off, and find a more positive outlet to focus on.

 

[PixlNinja]

I spent $3,000 on coke one summer back in my early 20s. As much as my life was a mess back then I ain't gonna lie, I enjoyed the fuck out of it. Coke sex with a like-minded partner is some crazy shit. A whole lotta "firsts" in that relationship

On topic though, some people are able to "party" in moderation and it's not a problem. When you're dipping off at work to do bumps and are constantly broke right after payday..that's a problem.

 

[frankie_baby]

Oh no he comes back home late, what a degenerate
Seriously its his life if he wants to do coke why is it any of your business?

 

[rokkerkory]

Hope you're able to help your brother man.

 

[Travo]

Oh no he comes back home late, what a degenerate
Seriously its his life if he wants to do coke why is it any of your business?

Sounds like he's concerned about his parents, who this guy has stolen from in the past. Plus, is this guy doing drugs at his family's house?

 

[Lum1n3s]

why do that when you can spend money and time cosplaying CSI?

I mean I feel like it's a pretty strong accusation especially when it comes to a hardcore drug like that so I don't want to jump into anything crazy.

I ended up talking with him just a minute ago and just played it safe and asked that I found the tube thing near his door and if he knew what it was. He said it's apparently for blunts and packing weed and it comes in the cigarillo packs or whatever. I've never seen them before when I used to smoke so can't say if this is true or not. I did say to him if he has anything he wants to talk about he can come to me and talk it out.

 

[Mammoth Jones]

Just a calm cold "Stop wasting your money on coke" next time he bitches about being broke/lack of money.

That being said plenty of people do/did coke in their early 20's and turned out fine. Just give him the heads up to be careful with that shit.

I'm more concerned with the lying to be honest. I don't respect people like that.

My older brother was honest: Coke was fun but he didn't like the way it made his heart race. So he gave it up. That was enough to discourage me from bothering to try it. But I'm not going to look down on someone that does it once in a while. But if they can't manage their money and live off someone else and lie? That's a problem.

Oh no he comes back home late, what a degenerate
Seriously its his life if he wants to do coke why is it any of your business?

Protip: When you have family that you love you tend to want the best for them. Not to see them struggle with money, lie and compound that with a coke habit.

 

[Boem]

Oh no he comes back home late, what a degenerate
Seriously its his life if he wants to do coke why is it any of your business?

What are you doing?

It's his brother? He's not allowed to be concerned? His post throws up some serious red flags. Constantly being broke, stealing money from his parents, getting high during work. That's serious stuff.

Why would you even use that tone against someone who's genuinely worried about someone he cares about?

 

[Parahan]

How about next time you confront him, you offer to either take him to rehab and support him or call the cops. If you know it's fake tears and lies , best to be firm.

Spoiler

But obviously don't call the cops. It's just brutal.

 

[RRockman]

Oh no he comes back home late, what a degenerate
Seriously its his life if he wants to do coke why is it any of your business?

why do that when you can spend money and time cosplaying CSI?

Seriously? Why do you have to be rude about it?

Have you thought about asking him if he's doing coke

And as for this "question"

I don't know what's really going on with him and I've tried to have heart to hearts as his brother but he tears up with them crocodile tears and says he'll better himself. He also starts lying pathologically to no extent. Any advice on this one would be helpful because right now I'm feeling all types of way especially if it's true. Thanks for hearing me out in advance.

Pretty sure the bolded would make confrontation with out proof difficult. I really don't know what to say OP, I hope you are able to reach out to him. Maybe after you get proof to wave a away any lies he might use you can get your other family members together to sit down and talk about it with him?

 

[Escape Goat]

Crack is whack.

 

[Ban Puncher]

"Yo bro, you doin' blow?"

 

[entremet]

Just a calm cold "Stop wasting your money on coke" next time he bitches about being broke/lack of money.

That being said plenty of people do/did coke in their early 20's and turned out fine. Just give him the heads up to be careful with that shit.

I'm more concerned with the lying to be honest. I don't respect people like that.

My older brother was honest: Coke was fun but he didn't like the way it made his heart race. So he gave it up. That was enough to discourage me from bothering to try it. But I'm not going to look down on someone that does it once in a while. But if they can't manage their money and live off someone else and lie? That's a problem.

Protip: When you have family that you love you tend to want the best for them. Not to see them struggle with money, lie and compound that with a coke habit.

Yep. I swear this none of your business talk that comes up in these family concern threads are scary.

Some of us like our families, y'all.

 

[III-V]

Look inside the tube. You would see some tiny glimmering particles if it indeed has been used for that purpose.

 

[Mammoth Jones]

Yep. I swear this none of your business talk that comes up in these family concern threads are scary.

Some of us like our families, y'all.

It just comes across and that snotty younger sibling going through teen angst: *rolls eyes* "Why do YOU care what I do, Todd?!"

If it's family it's my business. The fuck lol. We're family and gotta look out for each other.

 

[Rival]

Is he acting all jacked up when he comes back? Is he sniffling a lot? Does he talk quickly? Does he open his mouth kind of wide after he's snuck off? He's definitely snorting something. Coke can ruin people's lives real quick if they get to far into it. Hope he gets help.

 

[Kas]

Those things are usually sold in Raw wrap packa if you're getting prerolled cones.

As for coke, just ask him

 

[Amikami]

If he's doing this during work and stealing from family, that's a serious indication that he could be on the border of addiction. Talk to him. Don't let his teaars get to you. Talk to him seriously. He obviously feels like it's a problem too. Don't just talk, offer help. Maybe ask him if he would like to consider the information staying between the two of you and offering to go to counseling with him. Be open. Good luck OP. Hopefully it's not as bad as it seems.

Oh no he comes back home late, what a degenerate
Seriously its his life if he wants to do coke why is it any of your business?

I'm all for people being in control of their lives too and I'm not gonna clutch my pearls over drug experimentation but you don't have to run into a fucking wall with the idea. Of course, he has a right to be concerned about his fucking family. He's handled it fine so far, trying to talk to his brother. This is a guy who's always broke and has resorted to stealing from their parents, so as a brother and a son, is completely understandable that he has concern for his brother's wellbeing and if he can't help his brother, he can at least inform his parents to be careful with their money. It's similarly none of your business to tell him how he should feel about his brother. Theirs obviously context and history to the whole stay out late thing and keep in mind, not every culture is the same. It might be even more unusual, especially given the brothers history. Chill Frankie. No need to immediately jump to the "It's his life, stay out of it mentality" OP's feelings are valid and he's trying to find a good way to help in the situation and access the seriousness of his brother's habit.

 

[linkboy]

Oh no he comes back home late, what a degenerate
Seriously its his life if he wants to do coke why is it any of your business?

I went through a situation like this with my brother, who, as I posted above, was addicted to oxycodone and meth. When you lose a loved one to drugs, it's like they were replaced with something, and the person you knew is gone. When my brother was using drugs, he was a totally different person.

It was a constant worry every time I got a call from my parents because I wasn't sure if I would get that call that he was dead.

I've only got two siblings, and they're the only two I'm ever going to have. My son only has two uncles, and they're the only two he's going to have.

Thankfully, he got things straighten out and is doing good now.

Try to have a little respect for someone who obviously cares about his brother.

 

[frankie_baby]

What are you doing?

It's his brother? He's not allowed to be concerned? His post throws up some serious red flags. Constantly being broke, stealing money from his parents, getting high during work. That's serious stuff.

Why would you even use that tone against someone who's genuinely worried about someone he cares about?

Coke is fun, i sniff it myself ocassionally, i did even go through a 6 month daily habit on it like 10 years ago, i just think if his brother wants to do it then he should do it

 

[Claude Kenni]

Meth or a painkiller are probably more likely than coke if you just know he's snorting something.

 

[moggio]

Maybe it's just a UK thing, but don't most people do a bit of coke on a night out?

 

[LookAtMeGo]

Maybe it's just a UK thing, but don't most people do a bit of coke on a night out?

Thats how it starts yeah. If yourr not careful it can turn into a full blown addiction. I remember waking up in he morning and first thing I would do is grab the CD case out of my night stand and hit a little bump to start my day.

 

[Skyzard]

Coke is fun, i sniff it myself ocassionally, i did even go through a 6 month daily habit on it like 10 years ago, i just think if his brother wants to do it then he should do it

Probably not if he's broke and stealing money though.

 

[Pizza]

I would be shocked if he found a way to smoke $500 worth of weed without anyone noticing in just a couple days

Take that as you will, I guess. I've worked with people who do coke (at work) and based on that anecdotal evidence and what you've said in the op that'd be the conclusion I'd come to. Not that I have any advice, good luck man

 

[frankie_baby]

Probably not if he's broke and stealing money though.

Going broke in the middle of the week in between paydays sounds pretty normal

 

[Fried Food]

could be snorting something like adderal

 

[Amikami]

Coke is fun, i sniff it myself ocassionally, i did even go through a 6 month daily habit on it like 10 years ago, i just think if his brother wants to do it then he should do it

The problem is this is someone with a genuine and justified concern and you shit on their face with the most demeaning tone you could use in a forum. He's stated good reasons to be concerned (stealing from parents) unless that's justified to you. You could have stated this opinion just fine without trying to make the OP feel bad about his love and concern for his brother.