So I'm 20, which isn't old but I guess many people around my age drive. I have tried driving and I'm not good which I understand since it's only been a few times. But now in this point of my life it makes me feel terrible not having it in many ways. I'm going to get it eventually. It just the pressure of if ever meeting someone potentially they may not like that I don't drive. Or the job I got pretty much benefits having a car which I can't afford even with the pay. Lately, I've just been under a lot of stress with the job is in my field but I don't really like it but it's a starting off Point. Also I told my parents I'm taking a year off before I go back to advance and put a lot of pressure on needing to work 40 hours to get a car and drive. I just hate this feeling but I know the sooner I get my license the better I suppose.
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I don't drive and makes me feel terrible about my self-esteem
- Thread starter dcelw540
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Trust me. Driving is one of the more irrelevant things on people's lists, social-wise.
You'll be surprised how many people in their 20s still aren't driving, myself included. Though that maybe more attributable to the fact that I live in a transit-heavy city.
Of course, you still need to learn that shit eventually.
depths20XX
Member
I mean if you can't afford a car it is what it is. You'll get there. Avoiding driving because you're scared or whatever is a bad idea at least in America outside of a few major cities. I had a friend that never drove or got a car even into his late 20's and let's just say that dude was not looked upon fondly and it was a sign of deeper issues. Dude lived in an area where a car was essential.
Escape Goat
Member
What exactly is the question?
Thankfully your fear seems to be not learning -- instead of driving.
Just practice. You know what helped me? Having a trusted friend or relative and taking the car out for a spin at neighborhoods where there isn't much, if any, traffic. After that I just moved on to the freeway (which is less dangerous than driving busy streets). Eventually you'll get it.
Depending on where you live, getting a DL is easy peasy. Work on your confidence first, then worry about that later.
Just practice. You know what helped me? Having a trusted friend or relative and taking the car out for a spin at neighborhoods where there isn't much, if any, traffic. After that I just moved on to the freeway (which is less dangerous than driving busy streets). Eventually you'll get it.
Depending on where you live, getting a DL is easy peasy. Work on your confidence first, then worry about that later.
BocoDragon
or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Realize This Assgrab is Delicious
I'm 32 and I don't have a license.
What ever happened to falling in love with a dude with a bus pass?
What ever happened to falling in love with a dude with a bus pass?
Degenerate
Member
Driving for commuting sucks, driving for sport ie closed court driving is amazing.
Getting a car is liberating as heck, and it can make you feel great about yourself, but the costs are SUPER high.
I don't think it really changes how people perceive you. I have friends who don't drive, and other than a moment of incredulity when I hear it (I live in a place where driving is a necessity if I want anything, like, say, groceries), I'm not judging anybody.
Not everything posted in OT is a question
I don't think it really changes how people perceive you. I have friends who don't drive, and other than a moment of incredulity when I hear it (I live in a place where driving is a necessity if I want anything, like, say, groceries), I'm not judging anybody.
Not everything posted in OT is a question
ghostofsparta
Member
I do hate how much emphasis people put on driving. Admittedly I do the same.
My girlfriend take public transportation everywhere, even when it can take 3 hours to travel what would take 1 hour in a car. I applaud her for that, but it's annoying when I'm the only one driving on a long road trip.
Idk OP. I think if you don't NEED a car then don't get one. There's A LOT of bad drivers out there and even if you're a good driver, it just takes a small mistake to kill yourself or someone else on the road.
My girlfriend take public transportation everywhere, even when it can take 3 hours to travel what would take 1 hour in a car. I applaud her for that, but it's annoying when I'm the only one driving on a long road trip.
Idk OP. I think if you don't NEED a car then don't get one. There's A LOT of bad drivers out there and even if you're a good driver, it just takes a small mistake to kill yourself or someone else on the road.
depths20XX
Member
It does change how people perceive you though. At least if a car is needed in your area. The friend I had was looked at as lazy, refusing to grow up, irresponsible. Anytime he wanted to hang out or go somewhere he would have to be picked up. That's annoying to put on your friends and family. To be honest with you, he was all those things people described him as.
RadioJoNES64
Banned
I'm 21 and I'm in the same boat. Not having a license has greatly limited my ability to hang out with friends and swoon potential ladies since I live a good thirty miles from the campus I attend. So I have started putting more effort into it. I'm at the point where I can control the car decently in an empty parking lot but I am still far off from acquiring my license. My advice to you is to practice a lot. I was very paranoid of controlling the machine itself and have gotten comfortable with it. I still know that actual traffic will be a nerve wracking experience, but after a couple of times, I should get the hang of it.
Eh, try not to worry about it. An anecdote that may make you feel at least slightly better is that one of my close friends is 22 without a license and is one of the most popular people I know. Nobody cares that he doesn't drive. That doesn't mean you shouldn't aim to get your license soon, just that it's not as big a deal as you think, and stressing about it constantly is only going to make you more averse to driving.
In regards to getting your license, from one "not good" driver to another (although "not good" is an understatement for how awful my driving was at first), you'll be fine as long as you're careful. Just pay attention when you drive and play it safe at first, even if you feel you might be annoying other drivers sometimes. As long as you're not going like 10 under the speed limit, you're good.
Just keep driving and you'll get better naturally.
In regards to getting your license, from one "not good" driver to another (although "not good" is an understatement for how awful my driving was at first), you'll be fine as long as you're careful. Just pay attention when you drive and play it safe at first, even if you feel you might be annoying other drivers sometimes. As long as you're not going like 10 under the speed limit, you're good.
Just keep driving and you'll get better naturally.
Lan Dong Mik
And why would I want them?
dude i didn't learn how to drive until i was about your age. you're psyching yourself out. it's not as hard as you're thinking it is.
I drive slow as fuck. I'm 36, never had a ticket, never been an accident (while driving), have never been pulled over, never had a road rage issue. just take it easy out there and always watch both ways. I don't give a fuck if you're going through a green light, always look both ways before going through it. go slow, be patient, don't honk your horn unless necessary.
I'm telling ya, don't let fear hold you back. ALL adults need to know how to drive a car imo
I drive slow as fuck. I'm 36, never had a ticket, never been an accident (while driving), have never been pulled over, never had a road rage issue. just take it easy out there and always watch both ways. I don't give a fuck if you're going through a green light, always look both ways before going through it. go slow, be patient, don't honk your horn unless necessary.
I'm telling ya, don't let fear hold you back. ALL adults need to know how to drive a car imo
old manatee
Banned
Fuck it. Wait a few years and let the car drive you.
Didn't get my license until I was 25. Wish I had gotten it earlier, because it turns out I actually like driving. A few of my friends don't have a license to this day, and many people I work with, also don't have one. I was actually very surprised how many people didn't drive.
Yes its a pain to go through the steps to get one. Yes driving school sucks. Get this shit over with, and you'll be much happier, I promise.
Yes its a pain to go through the steps to get one. Yes driving school sucks. Get this shit over with, and you'll be much happier, I promise.
FTFY
I've been driving since I was seventeen. It took lots of patience, we different people trying to teach me. On an early Sunday morning, it just finally clicked with me. Started from an empty parking lot and made my onto city streets and then the freeway back home. Eventually you will get a feel for things and figure how to command this two ton behemoth.
This was after a couple of months of every other weekend getting scorned by family for making driving mistakes. But it was worth the freedom for me to take off on a whim and not have to rely on anyone.
When I went to college that same year. I was surprised to find out there were plenty of educated folks that did not know how to drive themselves. Really learn for yourself and forget what others do. I've been trying how take public/shared transit more, gives me time to appreciate the ride.
titiklabingapat
Member
I learned how to drive when I was 30. You'll be fine.
But you'll be fine even if you don't drive. Uber/Lyft is fashionable these days.
But you'll be fine even if you don't drive. Uber/Lyft is fashionable these days.
WaterAstro
Member
I don't drive because it's economically terrible for the wallet, it's ecologically bad for the environment, and transit is great in my city.
Cars are really a shallow way to make you feel like your social status is meaningful, or to show off your independence.
I didn't even bother getting my license til recently, and it was just so I can get a second ID.
Cars are really a shallow way to make you feel like your social status is meaningful, or to show off your independence.
I didn't even bother getting my license til recently, and it was just so I can get a second ID.
DongBeetle
Banned
Where I live driving is pretty much a rite of passage. Before 18 you're driving. But it's very likely because things are so spread out that you need to drive to get around
I'm in my mid 20s and I still don't have my license. I've have taken lesson and probably know how to drive good enough to past the test, but I haven't bother because I don't have a car, the test costs money, and lastly I don't need one since public transportation where I live is good enough and cheaper.
If you live in a place with good public transportation, it isn't really necessary. Of course, it's obviously a useful skill to have. Personally, I like it, depending on what time it is and how fast I'm going, I can cut my travel time by up to an hour during the daily ride to university. The bus takes forever because it has to stop constantly and a car is faster on the road anyway.
The downside is that everyone drives like an idiot. Dealing with other drivers is frequently the worst part of my day. Also it isn't that useful in social situations because if I bring the car I can't drink and I'm still at the age where everyone's social lives revolve around alcohol.
The downside is that everyone drives like an idiot. Dealing with other drivers is frequently the worst part of my day. Also it isn't that useful in social situations because if I bring the car I can't drink and I'm still at the age where everyone's social lives revolve around alcohol.
Driving is scary for maybe the first ten or so hours you do it. Now that just about every car at least in America is an automatic with power steering, it is super simple.
Just learn the rules of the road which you can do in a day. It is only complicated in your head.
If you can practice in places with light traffic like suburb neighborhoods, or large empty parking lots. You will be able to merge onto an interstate in less time then it would take you to beat the second dungeon of The Legend of Zelda.
Just signal when you are changing lanes for gods sake. And pass people on the left lane, and stick to the right lane if you are learning.
Just learn the rules of the road which you can do in a day. It is only complicated in your head.
If you can practice in places with light traffic like suburb neighborhoods, or large empty parking lots. You will be able to merge onto an interstate in less time then it would take you to beat the second dungeon of The Legend of Zelda.
Just signal when you are changing lanes for gods sake. And pass people on the left lane, and stick to the right lane if you are learning.
lastplayed
Member
Got my first car at 32. I've also been with women in their 30s that didn't drive. NZ is very car centric but it was no big deal.
BudokaiMR2
Member
I'm guessing you are American? If you happen to live in one of the few areas with decent public transportation then I wouldn't let it fret you.
I honestly can't imagine being over the legal age and not owning a car in most cities inside the U.S.. The freedom of having a car as a teenager is one of the things that I loved about my youth.
Currently, I am personally am bothered by the fact that I can't drive in Japan, but it's not really worth it. Having a car at best is slightly more convenient in some circumstances but the negatives tend to outweigh the positives in a city the size of Osaka.
But damnit the freedom of having your own car is just unrivaled to me.
I honestly can't imagine being over the legal age and not owning a car in most cities inside the U.S.. The freedom of having a car as a teenager is one of the things that I loved about my youth.
Currently, I am personally am bothered by the fact that I can't drive in Japan, but it's not really worth it. Having a car at best is slightly more convenient in some circumstances but the negatives tend to outweigh the positives in a city the size of Osaka.
But damnit the freedom of having your own car is just unrivaled to me.
Kitsunebaby
Member
I was terrified of driving growing up. My mom forced me to learn when I was 18, and now I love driving.
I have friends who don't drive because they're afraid. I understand it since I dealt with the same, but it truly does get a bit tiresome having to always pick them up to hang out, especially since we don't live in the same city.
If you live in a place with great public transportation it probably matters little. But if you rely on others to drive you it probably builds a little resentment, and you'd be best served by learning.
I have friends who don't drive because they're afraid. I understand it since I dealt with the same, but it truly does get a bit tiresome having to always pick them up to hang out, especially since we don't live in the same city.
If you live in a place with great public transportation it probably matters little. But if you rely on others to drive you it probably builds a little resentment, and you'd be best served by learning.
Obliterator
Member
OP, let's talk real quick.
My wife (29) is currently in stage of panic / freak out because she's her age without a large house and kids. (House and kid, were both happening, then fucked up shit happened in life and ruined both) The moral of the story is she is recovering / learning to love life without both.
Listen, you driving a car is minor. Its tiny, and its not something worth destroying yourself over. Do you want to drive? Is it a huge priority to you? Then get it DONE. Your a beast, an animal and you can make that happen.
But if its not something high up on your priority list or something you care too much about, outside of outside pressures? Then FUCK IT. Who give a FUCK. Life is about you doing you. Figure out what MAKES you happy and not those around you, and you'll be good my homie.
My wife (29) is currently in stage of panic / freak out because she's her age without a large house and kids. (House and kid, were both happening, then fucked up shit happened in life and ruined both) The moral of the story is she is recovering / learning to love life without both.
Listen, you driving a car is minor. Its tiny, and its not something worth destroying yourself over. Do you want to drive? Is it a huge priority to you? Then get it DONE. Your a beast, an animal and you can make that happen.
But if its not something high up on your priority list or something you care too much about, outside of outside pressures? Then FUCK IT. Who give a FUCK. Life is about you doing you. Figure out what MAKES you happy and not those around you, and you'll be good my homie.
Driving is, to me, one of the most useful skills to have. It opens up the whole world a little more and adds a level of freedom and convenience to so much of life if you have your own car.
I was going to tell you just get on with it and learn, then I remembered that driving lessons are probably quite expensive these days. When I passed my test 20 years ago they were £12 a lesson, they're no doubt less attainable now.
Mind you, you don't need to buy an expensive car. I consider it a right of passage everyone should go through to drive a shitty old piece of crap car for their first vehicle. It can be a serious heap but you'll love it for what it represents.
I was going to tell you just get on with it and learn, then I remembered that driving lessons are probably quite expensive these days. When I passed my test 20 years ago they were £12 a lesson, they're no doubt less attainable now.
Mind you, you don't need to buy an expensive car. I consider it a right of passage everyone should go through to drive a shitty old piece of crap car for their first vehicle. It can be a serious heap but you'll love it for what it represents.
How About No
Member
Its not that bad, start out in quieter slower areas and work your way up to freeways
Uhh that doesn't mean you're literally stopping to look at every green-lit intersection tight?
Uhh that doesn't mean you're literally stopping to look at every green-lit intersection tight?
The Faceless Master
Member
I did not get a driver's license until I was 30+
Then again, I lived in NYC all that time and I got one after moving to SWGA.
Then again, I lived in NYC all that time and I got one after moving to SWGA.
Kite
Member
My first year of college I tried to save money by not driving and depending on friends and public transportation to get around.. I understand OP, it is pretty damn depressing and demoralizing to have to bum rides all the time and people do treat you differently and treat you with less respect. I happily started driving again and the freedom to go wherever I wanted to go whenever I wanted to go and not have to beg for rides or wait for unreliable buses.. I felt like a grownup again.
OP, start driving around an empty parking lot and then move onto quiet streets. There is no rush, I have a buddy who refuses to drive on highways and sets his gps to always take the side roads. It's ok, just start slow and you'll get used to it.
OP, start driving around an empty parking lot and then move onto quiet streets. There is no rush, I have a buddy who refuses to drive on highways and sets his gps to always take the side roads. It's ok, just start slow and you'll get used to it.
Auto-Reply
Member
I also don't drive, because I don't really need to. Sometimes it's inconvinient but I save a ton of cash by not having a car.
I think it might be good to focus on the good parts of driving. It can be intimidating in the early stages of learning but once you get the hang of it driving is really not too difficult, just remember to pay attention. Depending upon where you live it might open up a world of possibilities to you. The time savings are HUGE unless you are lucky enough to live somewhere that has everything you need in easy walking distance. Also, since you are young no one will look down on you for having a cheap car.
Valkerionseven
Member
I don't drive either and its is annoying. Especially when I was living in the USA. Same as the OP it had a big impact on my personal opinion of myself, for no real reason that was actually important.
I'm 29 now and have mostly gotten over it. I want to drive deeply in my mind given that I like racing games and watching F1 but my current situation does not call for me to drive, while my past one it was grating on my soul not driving.
Either push for that license daily asking who you need to or practicing when you can or find other ways to get around. You will find its ultimately not the hugest deal in the world.
I'm 29 now and have mostly gotten over it. I want to drive deeply in my mind given that I like racing games and watching F1 but my current situation does not call for me to drive, while my past one it was grating on my soul not driving.
Either push for that license daily asking who you need to or practicing when you can or find other ways to get around. You will find its ultimately not the hugest deal in the world.
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