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[Costa Kid]

Lots of people don't drive till their late twenties or thirties. It's not that uncommon. It's pretty normal actually. I wouldn't get self conscious over it.

 

[Babyshams]

Your advice isn't really a good one.. What good would a few hours in a parking lot do? Rules of the road are much more important, and if you are driving stick it's a lot better to learn on some back roads since you can apply both, the rules and your driving together. Obviously he should learn to drive with somebody who is capable of teaching that and not just with a buddy since that's how you get bad drivers.

OP said they were not good at driving, I would take that to mean they should not be on the road with other drivers until they feel comfortable driving a car around. A large parking lot is a good place to start.

 

[PG2G]

The only places I've been that I could imagine living without driving are NYC and SF. Even then, when you leave the city for vacations and what not you're going to need to be able to drive.

 

[Jyester]

OP, I got my license last year at 29. I never let it bother me too much. It also isn't really necessary where I live.

However, I do recommend you get it if you have the time and money. I don't own a car, but being able to drive is pretty liberating. I'll admit that I wasn't a fan of admitting to people at work that I couldn't drive. My gf is also very happy that I got my license. Going for drives together is fun!

 

[Azzurri]

Unless you live in a large US city with good public transportation there is no way you could get around here in the USA. It's different in other countries, but in most of America a license is basically needed.

plus, for me I would hate have to wait on someone to take me somewhere just to go get food, or if I wanted to go bestbuy or anything.

 

[Vigilant Walrus]

So I'm 20, which isn't old but I guess many people around my age drive. I have tried driving and I'm not good which I understand since it's only been a few times. But now in this point of my life it makes me feel terrible not having it in many ways. I'm going to get it eventually. It just the pressure of if ever meeting someone potentially they may not like that I don't drive. Or the job I got pretty much benefits having a car which I can't afford even with the pay. Lately, I've just been under a lot of stress with the job is in my field but I don't really like it but it's a starting off Point. Also I told my parents I'm taking a year off before I go back to advance and put a lot of pressure on needing to work 40 hours to get a car and drive. I just hate this feeling but I know the sooner I get my license the better I suppose.

Since it doesn't help to tell people "don't be self conscious about X", I won't tell you that, but I'm in my 30s and I don't have a licens. In my city, upwards 50% of the population bikes to work, and there is a robust all encompassing public transportation system with busses and trains and metros running 24/7.
Traffic that gets worse year over year, and having to deal with the time waste of finding parking spots in increasingly crowded cities. fuck that. Not even beginning to mention the money it cost to have a car. It's not just the car or repairs, but yearly check ups. Then you got cleaning, paying for parking, having to worry about dents in it and problems with it.

There is a lot of things about owning a car that isn't fun. But it depends on where you live. If you live in a place like rural America where you cannot get around with public transportation or don't have dedicated bike lanes, I can imagine that it feels like you're stuck and not independent, having to catch a ride from others everywhere.

But I can tell you that personally, I think not having a car, is a massive time and money saver. Heed these words: The less financial obligation you need to burden yourself with, the better you'll be in the long run. If you need a car, go get one. But seriously; A car is dumb for many people. Financially and personally.

If you want a car for social gatherings, remember you cannot drive and drink. So if you go anywhere to drink, you need to leave your car. And remember that many places you pay a hefty price for parking, for a 6-8 hour window. If you can find one.


Sure, you can meet someone who doesn't like that you don't drive. You can also meet someone who doesn't like you're not making more money than you are, or that you're not as good looking as you should be, or whatever other reason. If somebody doesn't like that you drive, how about they go fuck themselves? What kind of fucking asshole judges someone else on if they drive / swim / have a crane certificate. Step away from shallow cunts whose opinion hinges on something like that.



Lastly, I have friends who got their licens when for their 18th birthday, but who didn't got a car until 5-10 years later, and many of them decided to re-take their licens because they were insecure on the road. Make sure that you want the licens, not because of what others might think of you, but because you need it. And make sure, that your insecurity doesn't become something else if you do get your licens, like "I am embarassed about my shtty car".
It's a losing game to get trapped into this mindset of "how potential people in your mind thinks about your life choices".

Look at it on the other side- You can actually use these things as a strength to weed out fake shallow assholes from your life. Let them show their true colors, so you can more easily not waste your time on people like that, and actually find people who are not that pathetic.

 

[Shredderi]

Well obviously if you are unemployed, most services and plans are out of the question for you. Let alone buying and managing a car.

I'm the new pilot program license and it's much cheaper than the usual B-license.

Interesting. Can you tell me more about this pilot program thing?

 

[LosDaddie]

You're 20yo, OP.

Not driving at your age being a deterrent to your social life depends heavily on where you live, and what type of girl you want to attract. As far as needing a car for work, there are plenty of used car lots where you can get a car relatively cheap.

What exactly is the question?

He's afraid not being able to drive will prevent him from getting laid.

 

[Sho_Nuff82]

just buckle down and do it. most people learn when there like 15 or 16. just get it over with so you don't feel bad about it

Not anymore.

According to several recent studies, many teens are pumping the brakes on getting their driver’s licenses. In one study, AAA found that just 54 percent of teens are licensed before they turn 18. Forty-four percent got their licenses within a year of turning 16 (or the minimum driving age for their state).

Why the delay?

When unlicensed teens were asked why they were delaying the process here’s how they responded:
44% didn’t have a car
39% could get around without driving
36% said gas was too expensive
36% said driving was too expensive
35% said they just didn’t get around to it
Source: AAA

 

[zoukka]

Interesting. Can you tell me more about this pilot program thing?

Some companies have a permit that they can sell you the pilot-license. It's basically the normal degree, but without any theory lessons (thank god) and you only pay for every driving lesson you need. I have only used 8 so far and I can already take my exam so it's only half the lessons you need to take in normal degree.

Just ask your local companies if they offer the pilot program.

 

[Chairmanchuck]

If you need a car, go get one. But seriously; A car is dumb for many people. Financially and personally.

I think it really depends where you live and what you wanna do.

When I worked in China, my work was about 40km away from me. I can take the train, then walk 2km from there. Sometimes the commute took 2 hours, normally around 1:30h.
Now when I got my drivers licence it took around 25-30m to get there.

Also you are dependant on the train schedule. So if the train delays, waste some time. Then in winter when its cold maybe have to wait for the train when its -5°C.

I worked around 7km away from my social service 10 years ago and with a car I am there in around 10 minutes, 6-7 if the traffic lights are mostly green. With the bus I first have to wait at the bus-station, then I need to change it one time and wait for the next bus and when I arrive, I still would have to walk for 10 minutes so a 7km way would take around 45 minutes each day. Walking or biking is not viable, because its quite hilly here.

It really depends where you live. My latter example is from a 150k population city in Germany.

 

[Shredderi]

Some companies have a permit that they can sell you the pilot-license. It's basically the normal degree, but without any theory lessons (thank god) and you only pay for every driving lesson you need. I have only used 8 so far and I can already take my exam so it's only half the lessons you need to take in normal degree.

Just ask your local companies if they offer the pilot program.

Very good to know. Thanks.

 

[Wolfgunblood Garopa]

When I moved from the suburbs to the city around 15 years ago, I was surprised how many people I met didn't drive. It's not really a thing, socially.

 

[Mii]

I drove every day from ages 16-18. After moving to Boston for college, I had no need as I was in a place with accessible and useful public transit.

For work, I at first needed to drive daily for clients but not for our HQ. After transitioning roles, I went back to not driving again.

I moved to New York for graduate school and again had no need. For work now, I use public transit every day and also hail cabs or Ubers when necessary.

Have you looked into whether using Uber gets you some form of tax credit where you live OP? Rules have changed to give more public transit tax benefits (for instance I get to spend pre-income tax dollars on my subway pass and it reduces my taxable income) and Uber Pool frequently receives similar benefits (I'm assuming you're in the US). It might make relying on Uber more feasible.

 

[The Lamp]

Trust me. Driving is one of the more irrelevant things on people's lists, social-wise.


You'll be surprised how many people in their 20s still aren't driving, myself included. Though that maybe more attributable to the fact that I live in a transit-heavy city.


Of course, you still need to learn that shit eventually.

Totally depends on the city.

You aren't dateable in Texas if you don't have a car or don't drive. It's worse than not having a job or education in terms of social negativity.

 

[JB1981]

The only way to get over a fear is to practice and keep doing it.

 

[Deadly Cyclone]

Lots of people don't drive till their late twenties or thirties. It's not that uncommon. It's pretty normal actually. I wouldn't get self conscious over it.

I think it must be more prevalent in big cities with good public transportation. Here in Iowa you kind of have to drive, or have someone to drive you.

OP just sign up for driving school. Once you get comfortable with it you'll feel dumb for even worrying about it. People hype driving up too much.

 

[Famassu]

Living in Finland and not having drivers license? Outside of Helsinki that makes life pretty hard.

Umh... What kind of dystopias do you think exist outside of Helsinki/capital region? Living without a car is easy in most cities in Finland. Tampere, Turku, Oulu and even in smaller ones like Mikkeli, Kokkola and such, it's not all that hard to live without a car if you just don't choose to live far away from the city center/your job or whatever. It's only really necessary in more remote, smaller villages and even then it's not totally impossible to get by without a car if you don't insist living, like, 20+kms away from the nearest stores & such.

 

[SArcher]

I'm 27 and don't have a license due to the fact that I have bad eyesight that can't be completely corrected with glasses/laser eye surgery.

 

[shintoki]

Maybe teenagers but grown women don't really care. I mean, most people learn how to drive so it's not seen as that much of a an achievement at least where I live. I would learn how to drive for practical reasons which there are lots of.

It entirely depends on where you live and how often you need a ride. You can get by in the city and honestly, I'd do the same too if I could. I hate owning a car since it's the biggest money drain.

But there is nothing more unequivocal unattractive than someone having to beg for a ride. On both sides of the coin for both guys and girls. And in my own case, it's reversed where when I was younger, I was more okay with the other not being able to drive. Now, it's not like an achievement he said, but it's a sign of adulthood. Can get where I need to go? Like living alone, having a career, etc. A lot of the opposite sex ain't going to fuck with you when you have to go on Facebook and beg for a ride.

 

[UpDownLeftRight]

Is it really a big deal? I got forced into learning by my parents at 17. My GF can't ever medically. Shit doesn't even matter unless you need to commute regularly. Hell at 20 it'll just make you everyone's bitch when they need a taxi until you tell them to sort their own travel out.

It entirely depends on where you live and how often you need a ride. You can get by in the city and honestly, I'd do the same too if I could. I hate owning a car since it's the biggest money drain.

But there is nothing more unequivocal unattractive than someone having to beg for a ride. On both sides of the coin for both guys and girls. And in my own case, it's reversed where when I was younger, I was more okay with the other not being able to drive. Now, it's not like an achievement he said, but it's a sign of adulthood. Can get where I need to go? Like living alone, having a career, etc. A lot of the opposite sex ain't going to fuck with you when you have to go on Facebook and beg for a ride.

I mean, There's plenty of other ways to travel. I could easily get by on buses and trains without it. Believe it or not, a car isn't actually a necessity to getting laid or being an adult.

 

[Fou-Lu]

I am 25 and don't drive either. There have been points in my life where it has been a nuisance, but having moved to a city it's not really an issue anymore. When I was younger I really wanted to drive but had no one to teach me.

Still once I get through grad school I would like to be able to explore the world a bit more, so getting a license would probably be smart.

 

[Famassu]

But there is nothing more unequivocal unattractive than someone having to beg for a ride. .

I can think of so many things far more unattractive than someone having to ask for a ride/help in that regards. Like people who are extremely judgmental about people who don't drive.

Of course if they beg rides constantly and act like dicks about it, that's another deal, but if someone needs it only now & then and is appreciative (maybe pays for the effort or returns the favor somehow), I don't see what's so unattractive about it. A lot of people in modern world with public transport & modern lifestyles simply do not need to learn the skill or get a car and I fail to see what's so horrible about that. If anything this NEED for everyone to have a car is far more dumb.

 

[PG2G]

It entirely depends on where you live and how often you need a ride. You can get by in the city and honestly, I'd do the same too if I could. I hate owning a car since it's the biggest money drain.

But there is nothing more unequivocal unattractive than someone having to beg for a ride. On both sides of the coin for both guys and girls. And in my own case, it's reversed where when I was younger, I was more okay with the other not being able to drive. Now, it's not like an achievement he said, but it's a sign of adulthood. Can get where I need to go? Like living alone, having a career, etc. A lot of the opposite sex ain't going to fuck with you when you have to go on Facebook and beg for a ride.

Yeah, it's basically the transportation version of. Living with your parents. Grown women are definitely going to care.

FWIW, I'm in Los Angeles which has awful public transportation. Things will obviously vary based on location.

 

[wenis]

I'm rounding 30 and I still don't have my license. Never wanted it, never needed it, probably won't ever get it.

Don't feel too bad OP. It's fine.

 

[Jerry]

Driving is the best.

People who don't/can't drive are just making excuses so they can feel better.

Public transport, or as I like to call it peasant transport, is disgusting.

Spoiler

I really wish I could drive

 

[highrider]

I think it's a good basic skill to have, as an American it's pretty ingrained in many parts of the country. I grew up in a suburb of Washington DC and even in high school not driving was going to severely limit your social and dating options. So there was an immediate motivation to learn. But then out of high school I went in the Army and lived in Germany for the next 6 years. It was where I first learned how unnecessary driving was with good public transit.

But over the years ( I'm old ) I've definitely seen a change in its social importance. Cars are damaging our environment significantly and people know it. It also contributes to obesity and other health problems that come from the drive everywhere lifestyle. There's a reason people in the city are thinner, and the further out you go in the suburbs you see more overweight people. Walking is really important exercise for health.

I own an older car now and only because my son lives with his mother far enough away to make it necessary. My son also is an athlete and games are all over Maryland. It's pretty much all I use it for. Driving here sucks. It's basically a line of solo drivers in Honda civics and traffic is the worst. I would never drive if I could. I'm much happier using public transit and walking.

So in short, I think it's worthwhile to get your license, just like I think it's worthwhile to have a basic understanding of wilderness survival and operating firearms. You never know, you know? You also might enjoy having the option of renting a car and taking a weekend trip. But I wouldn't worry about it op. In 10 or 20 years it won't really matter at all imo.

 

[Addi]

I don't drive either and I rarely would have needed it anyway. Can't afford a car and I live in a city with decent public transportation, there's no good parking spots outside my apartment either. Most people I know who do drive, don't drive in the city either, it's just too bothersome. I try to look at it positively: I don't spend as much money, I can get drunk anytime I want, I have less chances to die in traffic and I pollute a lot less. By the time I might need a car/license, driverless car will the thing, haha.

 

[zoukka]

Umh... What kind of dystopias do you think exist outside of Helsinki/capital region? Living without a car is easy in most cities in Finland. Tampere, Turku, Oulu and even in smaller ones like Mikkeli, Kokkola and such, it's not all that hard to live without a car if you just don't choose to live far away from the city center/your job or whatever. It's only really necessary in more remote, smaller villages and even then it's not totally impossible to get by without a car if you don't insist living, like, 20+kms away from the nearest stores & such.

Well basically if you are single, you can manage easy. If you have kids or a proper house outside of the city centre, things become pretty hard fast without a license.

 

[nkarafo]

I'm 35 and still don't look forward to learn how to drive.

Plus, the driving classes are too expensive in my country for my unemployed ass to pay anyway. Let alone owning a car.

 

[hodgy100]

ive had a licence for 7 years i haven't driven since i passed my test lol.

living in a city makes cars irrelevant

 

[Shredderi]

Well basically if you are single, you can manage easy. If you have kids or a proper house outside of the city centre, things become pretty hard fast without a license.

Definitely. It's a whole new ball game when you have a family. I would work towards getting a license ASAP if I knew I was having a kid.

 

[Stuggernaut]

46, drove as a teenager and really did not like it much at all. Kind of stressed me out to be honest.Have not driven at all since. Do not even have a licence anymore. Professional commuter.

Married, with a kid, happy. And everyone I know is fine with the no driving (well except my wife's stuffy parents).

It's a choice I made a long time ago. Life goes on. You'll be fine.

 

[KillerMan91]

Not really.

The only reason I'm getting the license is leisure travelling. My bike takes me anywhere within 20km radius in 30 minutes or so and the buses cover everything else.

People use cars to travel pitiful distances to work because they are used to it, not because they need to.
.

Well I guess it's of course possible but as someone that lived first 20 years in rather small rural town getting around without car was pain in the ass. Getting moped license at 15 years old made life so much easier.

Umh... What kind of dystopias do you think exist outside of Helsinki/capital region? Living without a car is easy in most cities in Finland. Tampere, Turku, Oulu and even in smaller ones like Mikkeli, Kokkola and such, it's not all that hard to live without a car if you just don't choose to live far away from the city center/your job or whatever. It's only really necessary in more remote, smaller villages and even then it's not totally impossible to get by without a car if you don't insist living, like, 20+kms away from the nearest stores & such.

Well I don't of course have experience from other cities but when even in capital region it's sometimes pain in the ass to use public transportation to move around I kinda assumed that elsewhere with even lower population densities it's even harder. I mean I currently have to go to Leppävaara, Espoo to school from east Helsinki and with public transportation it takes 65 minutes and with car 20 minutes. And yeah while nothing is impossible in rural Finland not having a car limits you a lot.

 

[tirminyl]

Despite getting a license in highschool, I ride the bus to work a lot. I've been a friend of public transportation since my Grandmother never had a license and she took me everywhere on the bus.

Despite having a fancy car, I ride the bus to work. The car becomes my weekend errand runner and road tripper.

 

[SDCowboy]

I'll never get waiting so long to get one's license. I got my permit at 15.5, and got my license ASAP at 16. I couldn't wait to drive.

 

[_Nemo]

Driving is boring af, you're not missing out on much.

 

[Jimothy]

I got my license when I was 15, which is pretty fucking insane in retrospect. And I was actually one of the last people in my group of friends to get one! I haven't driven in almost 5 years because I live in a city where having a car makes literally no sense because the public transit is so good.

Driving is boring af, you're not missing out on much.

Well yeah, but in most places in the US you absolutely need a car to do basically anything. If you don't have your license you're probably taking advantage of someone who does which isn't cool.

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

Sold my car a decade ago, and I drive like twice a month in a Car2Go. I've gone whole years without driving now.

Honestly, no one cares except people who you wouldn't want to be around anyway. Most people I know find the idea of being without a car liberating or ideal, but it could just be that I'm in a liberal place that tries alternatives.

 

[zoukka]

Well I guess it's of course possible but as someone that lived first 20 years in rather small rural town getting around without car was pain in the ass. Getting moped license at 15 years old made life so much easier.

It's a pain in the ass yes, until you adapt. I have to agree with many posters here that I've gotten compliments from fellow workers and friends who are amazed that someone can ride so many miles with their bike. It's obviously beneficial to ones health.

I rode my bike winter/summer for 13km to my workplace for 3 years... damn I kinda miss that even though it was miserable during bad weather.

 

[BLOODED_hands]

I, for now, have no need to get my license. 25 and still carrying my Permit. I'm sometimes the backup driver for my friend but that's about it.

Don't feel bad OP. Plenty of people your age don't drive either. Chin up 👍

 

[KillerMan91]

It's a pain in the ass yes, until you adapt. I have to agree with many posters here that I've gotten compliments from fellow workers and friends who are amazed that someone can ride so many miles with their bike. It's obviously beneficial to ones health.

I rode my bike winter/summer for 13km to my workplace for 3 years... damn I kinda miss that even though it was miserable during bad weather.

During summer I could also imagine riding to work/school with bike but during late fall or winter... Fuck that so hard. That coldness and darkness. Also as someone that goes to sleep way too late having a car gives you more time to sleep during mornings lol.

 

[Jimothy]

Sold my car a decade ago, and I drive like twice a month in a Car2Go. I've gone whole years without driving now.

Honestly, no one cares except people who you wouldn't want to be around anyway. Most people I know find the idea of being without a car liberating or ideal, but it could just be that I'm in a liberal place that tries alternatives.

"Liberal place" meaning city with public transit and bike lanes? Not everyone can be so lucky as to live in a place where there's actual alternatives to driving.

 

[BannedEpisode]

I've had my license since I was 16 but I sold my old car as soon as I started my career.

I've been without a personal vehicle for about 5 years. It's never been a huge deal and I save a lot of money.

Get a license at least though so you have the ability.

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

"Liberal place" meaning city with public transit and bike lanes? Not everyone can be so lucky as to live in a place where there's actual alternatives to driving.

Well, the topic is about feeling secure about not driving, not whatever this is. I'm saying people that don't drive exist and thrive, and the strangers who would judge one for it can be ignored since they suck anyway.

I exclusively rode a bike in South Carolina for 1.5 years, though. Not actually that hard for a single 20s person.

 

[Jimothy]

Well, the topic is about feeling secure about not driving, not whatever this is. I'm saying people that don't drive exist and thrive.

They can exist and thrive in places where driving isn't required, but in most places in the US being able to drive is essentially a requirement to lead a normal life.

 

[valeo]

I didn't get mine until I was about 22 and I 100% felt the same way you do.

Just get it. It's not difficult. Even if you never actually drive; at least in an emergency you will be useful to someone.

This is coming from someone who is the worst driver on the planet and usually drives around for 5 minutes to find the easiest parking spot possible.

 

[Manmademan]

They can exist and thrive in places where driving isn't required, but in most places in the US being able to drive is essentially a requirement to lead a normal life.

I live with fairly robust public transport and rarely drive.

That being said there's a big difference between using alternative transportation out of preference, vs. Being too lazy or frightened to bother being licensed in the first place.

Even if driving isn't strictly necessary, having the option to do so out of courtesy to others, or in an emergency situation is a very, very good idea.

There's also the possibility that during job hunting "reliable transportation" may be required which (at least in this area) means "we're not interested if you're reliant on public transportation".

Just get it done OP.

 

[shintoki]

I can think of so many things far more unattractive than someone having to ask for a ride/help in that regards. Like people who are extremely judgmental about people who don't drive.

Of course if they beg rides constantly and act like dicks about it, that's another deal, but if someone needs it only now & then and is appreciative (maybe pays for the effort or returns the favor somehow), I don't see what's so unattractive about it. A lot of people in modern world with public transport & modern lifestyles simply do not need to learn the skill or get a car and I fail to see what's so horrible about that. If anything this NEED for everyone to have a car is far more dumb.

As I said, if you live in a place where you don't need to drive. It's not an issue. Living in Chicago is fantastic since you don't need a car. If I had a job there, I'd sell my car and never drive again. Biggest waste of money in my life again.

Living in Iowa, Public transportation does not exist outside of your town. It is a requirement for jobs, life, etc. If you want to apply your world views to others, so be it. Not everyone is blessed with a great public transportation system that allows them to avoid driving a car. So not being able to drive is exactly that. It means you can not do the basic functions required as an adult depending on where you live without relying on someone else. The need also increase when you need to take care of other people too. Be it kids or older parents.

This also applies to your dating prospects too. In the city, again, no one cares since it's normal. Outside the city, it's a major issue since it's not a few miles and a subway ride separating you. It's 20 miles and a 40 minute drive. Want to do public transportation? Looking at 2 to 3 hours. That's why a lot of people won't fuck with you if you can't drive in the vast majority of the country. Every relationship is suddenly a long distance one. Every hook up is a commute. Every dinner date is now going to take 6 to 7 hours since you have to factor in transportation time. Etc.

 

[jufonuk]

haven't driven in years.

need to again I suppose, but I get panicky behind the wheel at times if on a fast road or bridge worry I may freak out while driving and hurt someone or myself.