Gotcha, thank you. Let's see where this goes, so far I haven't really bought into online dating.
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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already
- Thread starter gaiages
- Start date
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Gotcha, thank you. Let's see where this goes, so far I haven't really bought into online dating.
Pattycakes
Banned
Online dating is just like regular dating, except you generally know more than you would on a first regular date
I always thought online dating was more geared towards hookups, so I'm finding it hard to change my mind (most profiles I come across doen't help, either!). OkCupid seems tamer in that regard but, it's hard nonetheless.
artsi
Member
That's not really true though. It's 2017 and people look for serious relationships online as much as anywhere else.
Megalosaro
Banned
Date # 42
Great night. We mostly just talked Bout suicide and depression and coping, since, you know Linkin Park.
She was really REALLY frisky. It's rare she is quite so... aggressive? But it was awesome. My tongue hurts.
Plans for this weekend:
We are getting a hotel tonight up in Hollywood. That should be fun.
Tomorrow, we are hitting up LACMA. And then going to the The Grove.
Great night. We mostly just talked Bout suicide and depression and coping, since, you know Linkin Park.
She was really REALLY frisky. It's rare she is quite so... aggressive? But it was awesome. My tongue hurts.
Plans for this weekend:
We are getting a hotel tonight up in Hollywood. That should be fun.
Tomorrow, we are hitting up LACMA. And then going to the The Grove.
Gotdatmoney
Member
Eh, just be yourself, talk sbout stuff you have going on and ask her about herself. Relax man. This isn't your soul on the line here. It's just 2 people getting to know each other.
longdi
Banned
Should i make some prep time? Im not really good with convo so im not sure i should be myself... whats a good topic for early 30's to chat about....
My daily life have been going to and fro work 10-12hrs shift, dreadful boring for the past 3 years...
I decided to challenge that belief a few days ago so I read up on the topic a bit. I then decided to try out a few apps, and while I definitely realize it's just not true anymore, I still struggle with the idea. Reading posts like these definitely helps, in a way.
Outing went really well. Some how 4 hours turned into 10, again. Did an arcade and a few 4d rides. She actually beat me in everything. She's fun, definitely a fire cracker. Theres emotional chemistry and definitely physical chemistry after we went on the ferris wheel and back into the car. We haven't locked lips yet, but we got really physical, almost comical really since we haven't even kissed yet and I enjoy teasing.
Don't know what I'm going to do, maybe ride the wave and see what happens. I have confidence, but having this 10/10 girl tell me she's nervous and sorry for talking so much because of it, is completely perplexing for me. You see someone from a far for two years, with the occasional wonder how things would be like in a date setting. We shared a few words every now and then in passing but I never thought much more than that. And then in a moment, the board set changes and there she is, laying on my chest, grinning ear to ear, kissing my hands and being all types of affectionate.
Its......surreal? I have another date with someone else next week, so I'm not one to completely become lost in one individual and start making things more than what they are. Just seeing things play out with this particular person is such an odd sensation. I can't really describe it. Well, good or bad, thats enough about my antics. Just wanted to give you guys a the last update and hopefully give some encouragement for those on the side lines debating if they should pop the question.
LordKasual
Banned
i had a day off and the date was cool
a) dick move
b) dick move
I notice this outside of places with waitresses too though. You get alot more attention from women when you're with another woman.
I'm pretty sure they do that because, yeah, they're able to do it with impunity. You're far less likely to hit on them, and either way it goes, if the flirt feels successful then they get a +10 Ego boost
This is the same chick from the fountain?????????????
BOY if you dont tongue her ass down and smash already, how many signals can she give you
edit: not groceries
dreamcastmaster
Banned
Not sure, but sound like you think woman have some conspiracy against men. Take care brother, they are plotting against you!
Messofanego
Banned
I pray that your dick game is on point for the hotel.
Megalosaro
Banned
Keep this in mind. Silence isn't necessary a bad thing. It's only awkward if you make it awkward.
I think people would rather would have a comfortable silence than nervous chatter. That is because talking requires thinking. If you have something to say, say it. Ask questions until you can find something to latch on to. Having a date conversation is much the same as any other conversation with someone you don't know.
LookAtMeGo
Member
Don't pressure the man!
Gotdatmoney
Member
Like life? Music? Interests? Recent (not political) news? If you have any fam? What you studied in school? Movies? Why starbuck special drinks are so fucking expensive?
You gotta try and form conversation about something.
You should try and have a more interesting life. Anyway besides the point.
He sounds like a dude annoyed his waitress hit on him during a date. I wouldn't read much past that.
Anyway, it's fine for me cause I tip the same amount everytime so it's not like it matters
Yeah, same girl lol. I'll go for it next time. It did feel right and she was looking at it for me too. Just didn't wanna rush it.
longdi
Banned
Sadly need to work to earn my living...
Any personal tips on keeping conversation interesting? cue to look out for? timings?
I mean i can converse, but that's has been for work, giving instructions, relaying info...how to have it personal, without sounding like a Q&A or interview..
Just... don't try. You've been talking to people your whole life. Stop thinking. Just be in the fucking moment. You don't need advice on how to have a conversation. Either there is chemistry or there isn't. But if you try to "manufacture" chemistry, shit won't go well.
Any time I've thought too hard about what to talk about, shit didn't go well. Every time I just said whatever without thinking, I got laid. You really can't orchestrate this shit. If you have an awkward silence, just fucking embrace it and be like "yo, that was awkward" and have a laugh.
Have fun with it and don't give a shit about the consequences. Maybe you won't get the girl... but who cares? At least you were in the moment. So really, the best advice is to not try and not care about the outcome.
Be a good guy and have manners and all, but also don't be afraid to break social conventions and be natural. Dates are whatever you want them to be. Remember that. And if she wants something different then she's not for you and that's okay. So stop worrying.
Keep a look out for moments when you can inject some humor into the convo. Improvisational humor can turn mundane topics like "what do you do for a living" into something fun. It shows her you are engaged and also displays a fun side of yourself.
This may take practice. You'll say things that'll fall flat, but that's part of the game and over time you'll get a lot better at it.
"What do you do for a living?"
"I'm an agent, mostly for modeling"
"I knew it, this was all a ruse to get a contract out of me. You can't fool me."
Stupid shit like that. Now you guys are joking about a dumb hypothetical scenario where she's your modeling agent and that's a 15 minute topic. Look for good branching points into other topics.
Make a self-deprecating joke or two but not often. A little bit shows you aren't an asshole but too much and you're insecure and not selling yourself.
If she displays an interest in a topic you don't know about, ask her about it! Golden opportunity to learn something knew and she'll be flattered you are learning about it from her.
Raptomex
Member
I can agree with this, just based on experience. A year or so ago my ex and I went to a bar. I don't drink but were just talking and hanging out and all of a sudden this random woman kept coming onto me, going so far as to spill a drink on herself. It was ridiculous. I didn't realize what was happening at first. I was clearly with someone so I don't know what her problem was.
longdi
Banned
Thanks for tips. Silly roleplaying sounds like i can do. Will i look childish though?
Just wondering what's the mentality to take going into this? Pumped up with tons of prep, sorta like an interview, or just a case of if it works it works (kinda like u wil fail if u think u will). Don't want to over do it, yet don't want to come off unprepared n appearing disrespectful..
What kind of expectations female have in such scenario..i always feel female are usually more demanding n scary..while we are easier n content..
Just wondering what's the mentality to take going into this? Pumped up with tons of prep, sorta like an interview, or just a case of if it works it works (kinda like u wil fail if u think u will). Don't want to over do it, yet don't want to come off unprepared n appearing disrespectful..
What kind of expectations female have in such scenario..i always feel female are usually more demanding n scary..while we are easier n content..
Don't be hyped up on caffeine or anything. Be cool, composed, relaxed and natural. Not too cool for school. But confident. And don't be afraid to show enthusiasm if it's going well. Always be respectful.. but if you see an opening to make the conversation sexual, gently do that. It needs to be subtle though. Not "I want to fuck you" (unless it goes incredibly well and she's rubbing your junk or something).
Don't worry about her expectations. Worry about your own. Maybe she won't be good enough for you. Maybe she will.
But don't try to "perform" well or anything. That's not the way to make a genuine connection.
And you don't need to prepare. It's a date not a job interview.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Bluntly, the only thing that will help you is more dates.
Anyway, this is my only piece of advice: when you're just starting the date, pretend you're meeting an old friend.
Meanwhile, my quasi-girl's going to Miami for the weekend with college girlfriends, and we haven't really talked since Monday morning when I left her place. Continuing to passively keep my eyes open, I guess.
Megalosaro
Banned
For one thing, stop calling women "females". It's sort of creepy.
A secondly, stop thinking they have all the same tastes or expectations.
Go in trying to have fun. of you are doing something because you think they would enjoy it, that's a bad idea.
Instead do stuff you'd want to do. And this is were it's a good idea to have a lot of interests in all sorts of things.
A secondly, stop thinking they have all the same tastes or expectations.
Go in trying to have fun. of you are doing something because you think they would enjoy it, that's a bad idea.
Instead do stuff you'd want to do. And this is were it's a good idea to have a lot of interests in all sorts of things.
War Peaceman
You're a big guy.
The best way to improve at having conversations is to have conversations. It sounds like an obvious thing, but social skills are skills to be improved.just like any other skill.
The simplest tip would be to ask questions.
The simplest tip would be to ask questions.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Not to open this particular can of worms, and I realize this is entirely a military thing, but we referred to each other as "males" and "females" with regularity. Women included. So that's one point that I can't identify as necessarily creepy. Though, I guess it was more along the lines of often needing gender adjectives ("this is for the female Captain Smith," where both Smiths were married officers)... so maybe it's that.
"I want to find some females" is creepy, but so is "I want to find some women."
Agree with the other bits 100%.
If all you do is work 9-5, have no interests or hobbies, and aren't in a position to be a good hookup or good partner... well, become more interesting.
LookAtMeGo
Member
What if the only thing I'm good at is partying?
and rocket league
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Then find a girl who likes to go out.
I didn't know I loved going out until earlier this year. I'm 34. Now I can say I love EDM shows, cooking for others, and planning trips after boldly quitting my job (next year). My hobbies do include games and generally wasting time; I also don't work out as much as I should. But I feel like we undersell ourselves a lot: even simple but uncommon things like being a good friend are valued. Being supportive and kind is a desired trait. So is having emotional intelligence.
No one's perfect. It's not about checking boxes of requirements. It's about fit.
Gotdatmoney
Member
If you can't do anything of note you are gonna have to find a way man. Think ahead, how will you ever have time for a significant other if you cant make time to do things outside of work?
Nothing that would work. Just make sure you show good manners. Just relax and understand its not an interview. Just try to enjoy having fun with someone new.
For one stop worrying about it. It's suppose to be fun. Worrying bout this shit is not fun. Just look to enjoy some time with someone new.
LordKasual
Banned
When you're a gamer, you learn to notice this kind of thing, they ARE plotting against me, women are actually vile creatures, they only want to steal your balls and ship them to the feminist headquarters so that they can manufacture offspring from our DNA to breed an infinite supply of kidneys and livers in hopes of a world where they can imbibe endless fruity drinks finally free of the dangers of cirrhosis
and don't you fucking make me /s that shit either
How are you in a car "teasing" and "physical" but not kissing? Have you ANY clue how many opportunities you've missed???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
I've been on relatively normal dates, chemistry there but nothing all highschool musical and shit like what you're describing. But when you get back into the car, and she gives you the body language for a kiss???
You ever seen Avatar? You know that scene where they connect their taildicks to one another before boning? Kinda like that, except with your tongue.
It snowballs fast as fuck, like you two don't even need words for like the next 30 minutes....You've missed two golden opportunities man
Are you afraid she doesn't like you or something? Unless you're exaggerating your date experiences, i'm surprised you two didn't smash in your car or something by now...
what
lol it's so crazy how many hardcore gamers just go off the deep end
As for the female thing, it sounds clinical and cold, for the most part.
Puck Beaverton
Banned
Saying female just shows you don't have much actual experience (I'm talking just conversation or real interaction) with women.
It's not a big deal, but it is kinda odd.
It's not a big deal, but it is kinda odd.
Pretty sure it went well, though i missed an opportunity at the end. Her gaze lingered after our parting embrace, think she wanted a kiss.
Mostly talked shop, she's a PhD in international development which is what my Master's was in, as well as bits of talk about other things. Seemed enjoyable, the meal was good, and i didn't get ticketed for my semi-legal parking job up near Howard University.
Either way, first date i've had in a good while where i even wanted a second afterwards, so that's a win.
Mostly talked shop, she's a PhD in international development which is what my Master's was in, as well as bits of talk about other things. Seemed enjoyable, the meal was good, and i didn't get ticketed for my semi-legal parking job up near Howard University.
Either way, first date i've had in a good while where i even wanted a second afterwards, so that's a win.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Where did you go? There's a ton of good stuff in Shaw. I wouldn't call it a hidden gem anymore, but it's still distinctly underrated.
LordKasual
Banned
You have to paint a vivid enough picture so the message gets through
And the whole "female" vs. "woman" thing is absolutely just a culture language thing. It's used in different contexts than "woman" but it conveys nothing negative...well, sometimes, but not that kinda way.
From the way I see it used, when a guy uses "females" he's usually pointing out a difference between the genders for conversation's sake. Honestly, i hear the term used most when a guy is speaking to women about women in general, and everyone is on the same page.
Creepy though? That just doesn't make sense
Gotdatmoney
Member
I pretty much have never seen the the need to use "female" outside of more technical discussion. It just sounds weird because we are more likely to say men or guys in a social setting. As soon as you start using males/females it just comes across as aggressive because it's not social norm.
LookAtMeGo
Member
Well said.
Fuck. Im going to meet a girl for drinks and I cant stop farting. I had like 3 servings of short rib chili and it was spicy as shit with tons of beans in it.
Update: I farted at the table. I was like ew gross somebody farted. Nobody knows.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Went out tonight for my friend's birthday, and his boyfriend wingmanned for me hard. Now I've got a kinda date arranged with a 10/10 Brazilian girl who seems really kind and sweet...
My quasi-girl is in Miami.
First world problems, I guess.
My quasi-girl is in Miami.
First world problems, I guess.
longdi
Banned
Phew just done it. Half a day, not too bad as i thought, I tried to be myself, no overdoing things.
Both of us seems to have ok impressions, both of us tried to be polite(maybe too polite), nothing sparky sadly, yet hopefully.
There were moments of silence, not too awkward imo, just blank in the mind.
Yeah i needed to find more interesting things to do and topics to talk.
What's next? Now that the introy parts are done. How long do i start texting?
Anymore conversation tips? Stuffs that females like to chat about?
She seems a rather intelligent type, academically higher than me..does this kind of difference work out eventually?
Both of us seems to have ok impressions, both of us tried to be polite(maybe too polite), nothing sparky sadly, yet hopefully.
There were moments of silence, not too awkward imo, just blank in the mind.
Yeah i needed to find more interesting things to do and topics to talk.
What's next? Now that the introy parts are done. How long do i start texting?
Anymore conversation tips? Stuffs that females like to chat about?
She seems a rather intelligent type, academically higher than me..does this kind of difference work out eventually?
Today's date messaged me and told me she couldn't make it today. I'm taking the L but it's nice of her to let me know in advance, tbh.
Could you elaborate a bit on this? English is my second language so I'm not sure I get where you are coming from. How did you realize? Was it obvious?
In my experience, having similarly high grades/education, o even having studied the same bachelor's degree doesn't mean you are more compatible. You have a shared interest, at best.
Could you elaborate a bit on this? English is my second language so I'm not sure I get where you are coming from. How did you realize? Was it obvious?
In my experience, having similarly high grades/education, o even having studied the same bachelor's degree doesn't mean you are more compatible. You have a shared interest, at best.
If you liked her, text her. If she likes you, she won't give a shit if you text "too soon". Send her something like "I had a lot of fun with you yesterday! Want to <activity> on <day>?".
Women are diverse, there's no one topic that all women like to talk about. You chatted with her, surely you were able to divine some of her interests?
You've both been on this planet for 20+ years...by virtue of that alone, you have a plethora of topics to discuss. Childhood nicknames, favorite pets, jerkass teachers, favorite food in your city, whether Harry Potter could beat up Godzilla, what your favorite lizards are...
What needs worked out? If her being further along academically is an issue to you, it'll continue to be an issue until you stop letting it.
Messofanego
Banned
Thanks for the farting update.
Jzero
Member
Lord have mercy 😂
Miles Quaritch
Member
Nice to see some new faces posting and giving advice.
It's time for this old head to take a back seat, dating seems to move so fast that it's impossible to provide anything more than basic advice unless you're actively dating and life is moving fast too, my wife's last week of notice is coming up, which means our move to the mainland isn't too far behind...
I'll still pop in when possible, but good luck you bunch of horny fuckers and before you do anything, rub one out...that goes for both men and women.
It's time for this old head to take a back seat, dating seems to move so fast that it's impossible to provide anything more than basic advice unless you're actively dating and life is moving fast too, my wife's last week of notice is coming up, which means our move to the mainland isn't too far behind...
I'll still pop in when possible, but good luck you bunch of horny fuckers and before you do anything, rub one out...that goes for both men and women.
Messofanego
Banned
Is there a Married GAF you oldies can still hang out in?
What advice do you have for profile photos? I've never tried online dating because I am not photogenic and I just cannot take a half-decent photo of myself. All my life I've avoided group photos like the plague so now I don't have any.
I'm not necessarily bad looking and I get some attention in real life, but I cannot take a photo in which I manage to reflect this, it's impossible.
Any advice?
I'm not necessarily bad looking and I get some attention in real life, but I cannot take a photo in which I manage to reflect this, it's impossible.
Any advice?
So I messaged a girl I matched ages ago on Tinder and we had a relatively long convo, where she eventually suggestively asked me come over to her house. On one hand, I'm a dude, but on the other, I'm not sure I'm about that life or have the "game" for it. It'd be nice to have a few dates at least for chemistry before that was on the table to be honest.
I deflected but she still messaged me until she went to sleep so I dunno how or if to continue now. Not sure if I'm into a girl that bold?? But she didn't drop the convo and gave me her number after.
I deflected but she still messaged me until she went to sleep so I dunno how or if to continue now. Not sure if I'm into a girl that bold?? But she didn't drop the convo and gave me her number after.
LookAtMeGo
Member
Lol it was a good night.
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