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The 22 Unwritten Rules of TV Spoilers You're Probably Breaking

Malyse

Member
(this can also apply to games, movies, comics... pretty much everything)

1. You must plan for shows you really care about

If you love a show so much that you’re obsessed with not having it spoiled, you need to prepare — a failure to prepare is preparing to fail when it comes to avoiding spoilers. Buy a calendar.

2. Don't confuse the premise of a show with a spoiler


If you ask, "What's Breaking Bad about?" and someone says, "It's about a high school science teacher who becomes a meth kingpin," that doesn't count as a spoiler. That's literally what the show is about. You're going to need some information about a series before you decide it's worth investing your time in.

3. Tiptoe around (or just STFU about?) twists, character deaths, and final scenes both on and offline for the first 24 hours after the episode airs

There's a spoiler troll inside all of us, waiting to be unleashed in moments of weakness where the drunken pressure of knowing is just too much to hold inside. Fight it, you a-hole!

4. Wait at least three hours before publicly discussing any unexpected moments that aren't technically twists (e.g., [Person] finally [did a thing] we saw coming!)

5. Wait a minimum of 10 days after "binge" shows drop to casually discuss spoilers


Your less marathon-inclined friends deserve time to sample the all-at-once series at their leisure. More specifically, they deserve two weekends: from that debut Friday to the following Sunday.

6. Use a spoiler warning if you absolutely must unload your feelings on your social media of choice

Please do your loved ones a favor and follow the lead of responsible websites: Slap a "spoiler warning" at the top of your lengthy memorial essay. It will let your fellow fans know what's coming and serve as a useful way for everyone else to skip right over your profound musings about the fragility of life for a fictional character.

7. Anything that happens on a reality TV or game show is not a spoiler


This is an important caveat: Pretty much none of these rules apply to reality TV or game shows. There's no such thing as a reality TV spoiler.

8. Discussing the historical event on which a show is based does not count as a spoiler

That's not a spoiler. You just need to watch the news or read a Wikipedia article.

9. "But it's in the book!" is not an excuse to spoil adaptations


TV was obviously invented to help achieve the utopian dream of eliminating books forever; you don’t get to ruin someone’s leisure time because you’re "well read."

10. Ask your friends/co-workers if they've seen the episode before talking about last night's "big episode"

Just be polite and kick off the conversation with a gentle, "So, you catch Scandal last night?"

11. In public spaces, conduct all spoiler talk at a "library whisper"

You're a grown-ass adult who should be doing this anyway, but it needs to be said: Do not turn the latest episode of American Horror Story into your version of The Moth.

12. Use headphones while watching spoilable TV in the wild

Don't be brave like those idiots who turn their phones into boomboxes and bump music sans headphones in public.

13. Don't lord your spoiler knowledge over others by hinting at what's to come

It's not hard. Even if your Game of Thrones newbie friend says, "Wow! I love Ned Stark!" and you say, "Awwwwwwwwww, yeah," you're revealing more than you think.

14. Don't quote jokes from the current season of your favorite comedy

Don't be that person who feels the need to rehash all the best jokes before everyone else. Better yet, don't quote jokes from comedies in general. What are you, 15? They pay the professionals to read those lines for a reason.

15. Don't gasp in advance like an idiot if you're rewatching with a first-timer

Act like you’ve been there before, because you actually have.

16. If you TV cheat on your significant other/viewing partner, hype counts as a spoiler

It is on you not to avoid sales pitches, excessive teasing, and half-spoiler allusions that could undermine the experience. All previous definitions of spoilers are out the window in this scenario -- go full Daniel Day-Lewis in your performance of a clueless first-timer or you stink.

17. Warn your roommate when you're watching spoilable TV in their vicinity

Better to compromise than to start the passive-aggressive, TV-watching version of World War III.

18. Be considerate if you're live-tweeting

Have you heard of these things called time zones? We don't want to say "never live-tweet," but if you have thoughts to share you should just be mindful and considerate about what you post, especially for less zeitgeist-y series and streaming shows.

19. Stop looking at Facebook until you've watched the shows you care about

This rule could probably end with “stop looking at Facebook,” but that’s another discussion altogether. Since you can’t control what other people post -- but wow, wouldn’t that be great? -- practice some discipline if you can’t watch a spoiler-heavy show when it airs and stay off Facebook until you watch.

20. Don't post spoiler freeze-frames on Instagram and/or Snapchat right after an episode

There's no way for your friends to know, for example, that the Snap or Instagram story you've queued up is going to contain the death of Hot New Thing's Hot New So-and-So.

21. If you read, heard, or watched any leaked spoilers, no one wants to hear from you


Just because you're part of some peer-to-peer file-sharing network or have a friend who works "in the industry" and feeds you intel, that doesn't make you a cool hacker from a '90s movie or some big-shot Hollywood insider. You're just a clod spouting spoilers.

22. These old shows are 100% officially spoilable in any context

There are a handful of specific popular television shows that are un-spoilable. That doesn't mean you should feel emboldened to put up a billboard saying "The screen cuts to black in the diner as Journey plays during The Sopranos finale," but you should realize that if you haven't caught up with these 10 series that the internet collectively obsesses over, you've waived your rights to complaining about "spoilers" contained in any jokes on social media, message board threads, or critical essays. Sorry. But not really.

  • Breaking Bad
  • LOST
  • 24
  • Mad Men
  • Pretty Little Liars
  • The Sopranos
  • The Wire
  • Seinfeld
  • Friends
  • The Simpsons

https://www.thrillist.com/entertainment/nation/tv-spoilers-rules-etiquette
 

HStallion

Now what's the next step in your master plan?
Half of these are common sense but some are silly. Sorry but I'm not talking library levels about spoilers in public. Rule #1 should be to not to take spoilers this damn seriously in general.
 

Platy

Member
Remember that the rest of the world is not the usa.

That "wait X time after episode airs" does not work when on the internet talking to people from all around the globe

My favorite example is how the Song of Fire and Ice took almost 10 years to be released officialy here in Brazil
 

theWB27

Member
We gonna be spoiler tagging texts just in case that rando on the train sees your screen in the near future.

Im not whispering in public about a show.
 

bronson

Member
"There's no such thing as a reality TV spoiler" invalidates this whole list. Plenty of people give a shit about going in fresh to The Bachelor or whatever, and dismissing those feelings because you don't like the genre is way worse than posting about Game of Thrones on Twitter the night of.
 

prag16

Banned
wat

How did Pretty Little Liars make that list? Am I out of touch? (Or is it the children who are wrong.)
 
The headline says unwritten but holy cow! I can see the whole list!

Also I like how you can spoil less than five year old shows but not at most 20 year old books. We shouldn't be encouraging this shit. Spoilers aren't even real.
 

The Giant

Banned
8. Discussing the historical event on which a show is based does not count as a spoiler

That's not a spoiler. You just need to watch the news or read a Wikipedia article.

This. There's people on gaf who think that Pablo Escobar's death on Narco's is a spolier.

It's not a spoiler dum dums.
 

Jims

Member
"There's no such thing as a reality TV spoiler" invalidates this whole list. Plenty of people give a shit about going in fresh to The Bachelor or whatever, and dismissing those feelings because you don't like the genre is way worse than posting about Game of Thrones on Twitter the night of.

Yeah, this rule is particularly bad. Part of the fun of a show of Survivor is finding out who gets voted out each night. If someone just tells you what happened, it ruins some of the fun. People are very very sensitive about reality TV spoilers.
 

AntChum

Member
There's being courteous to your friends during casual conversation, and then there's writing a list of completely arbitrary nonsense. Your heart is in the right place place, OP, but there's no way I'm whispering because some Tom, Dick, or Harry might walk past me in a café mid-sentence.
Willis was dead
Vader is Luke's dad
Ned loses his head
This list is bad
Don't forget the biggest spoiler of them all: Jesus come back to life at the end.
 

shaneo632

Member
People have been straight-up terrible with Game of Thrones spoilers. I watch the episodes almost immediately but I feel for people who actually have busy lives and maybe can't watch them for 2 or 3 days.

Folks on my Facebook who I generally respect and work in media so should know better being cavalier with spoiler etiquette. Pretty embarrassing.

As a rule I basically don't talk about any TV show in detail on FB. And if you post image macros/memes within hours of the episode airing you're a fucking asshole. It's just smug and thoughtless.

EDIT: Also stuff like not walking out of the cinema and talking loudly about what you just saw should be basic common sense, but there you go...
 

Plum

Member
inb4 that one study gets posted

As for the rules, it's always just a matter of using your head and not being a dick. There's no need for specific rules.

One rule, though, is if you post a spoiler online and someone calls you out just take the L instead of decrying "spoiler culture" as "insane." Chances are if someone randomly spoiled you on something you're currently watching/playing you'd be pissed as well no matter what a single study with dubious methods said.
 
The worst are people who seem to think they're being subtle with their spoiler memes or whatever hot take will cause a blood vessel to burst if they don't share it immediately, when they're really really not.

People shouldn't even be able to discern what you're referencing unless they're in on the joke. Be smart about it. No, smarter.
 

shaneo632

Member
One rule, though, is if you post a spoiler online and someone calls you out just take the L instead of decrying "spoiler culture" as "insane." Chances are if someone randomly spoiled you on something you're currently watching/playing you'd be pissed as well no matter what a single study with dubious methods said.

Yep. Had a friend who got really defensive about spoiling a major GoT episode last year. She just wouldn't back down because she was too arrogant to simply apologise and move on.
 

Platy

Member
This. There's people on gaf who think that Pablo Escobar's death on Narco's is a spolier.

It's not a spoiler dum dums.

To be fair, saying the series shows his death in season whatever IS a spoiler.

I know the dude got killed but to discover WHEN that would happen if was on season 1 or 32 is the spoiler
 

shaneo632

Member
When I was a kid some prick would come into school every day and intentionally spoil the WWE PPVs just to piss us all off. What a cunt.
 

cwmartin

Member
I literally grew up knowing the entire story of Star Wars before I saw it. Spoiler madness and whining is the worst.
 

Fuchsdh

Member
"There's no such thing as a reality TV spoiler" invalidates this whole list. Plenty of people give a shit about going in fresh to The Bachelor or whatever, and dismissing those feelings because you don't like the genre is way worse than posting about Game of Thrones on Twitter the night of.

I mean, most reality shows are dreck, but based on their classification I dunno why it would be exempt from spoilers. It's a scripted show that's not actually "reality" just like any other drama, and it's specifically designed to have the same sorts of twists and finales.

And yeah, this list is arbitrary and dumb. Not talking about bingeable shows or live-tweeting makes sense, but when you're talking global platforms or places where everyone gets access to shows at different times you're going to need a much wider gap to be conscientious than I think people are willing.

And blasting music or movies or TV in public just makes you an asshole, full stop. Spoilers are the least important component of that equation.

inb4 that one study gets posted

As for the rules, it's always just a matter of using your head and not being a dick. There's no need for specific rules.

One rule, though, is if you post a spoiler online and someone calls you out just take the L instead of decrying "spoiler culture" as "insane." Chances are if someone randomly spoiled you on something you're currently watching/playing you'd be pissed as well no matter what a single study with dubious methods said.

No, I wouldn't. I don't care about spoilers. The whole "but what if someone ruined something you enjoyed" theoretical doesn't work for me or plenty of other people. Doesn't mean you should be a complete dick with no provocation, but the idea that it is everyone else's responsibility to shelter you from stuff you don't want to know is bullshit.
 
I'm not going to enable spoilerphobes, if your "too busy" to watch a show then don't expect the world to change for you so you don't get spoiled. It has not been difficult for me to avoid this seasons of GOT spoilers. I'll be marathoning it this weekend.
 

Izayoi

Banned
Just saw that Portlandia skit about the white people having a spoiler-filled dinner party.

Shockingly poignant.
 
There is only one rule of spoilers. If you want to remain ignorant, hide. You don't get to control what other people talk about.
 
When I was a kid some prick would come into school every day and intentionally spoil the WWE PPVs just to piss us all off. What a cunt.

It's a live event. The results are news. I don't see how this is a spoiler.

If you don't want to be spoiled, watch it live.
 
The worst are people who seem to think they're being subtle with their spoiler memes or whatever hot take will cause a blood vessel to burst if they don't share it immediately, when they're really really not.

People shouldn't even be able to discern what you're referencing unless they're in on the joke. Be smart about it. No, smarter.

Wrong, your not the one who should be catered to, you're the minority. Nobody should have to stifle discussion about a current TV show just because you've not seen it.

Spoiler phobia is just the worst current trend.
 

Couleurs

Member
Stupid list

Spoiler culture is insane.

Yeah, there's several shows/games I'm working my way through right now but I don't expect people to go out of their way to avoid spoiling things for me. Like, why should I expect people to change how they talk to others just to suit me being so far behind? I realize the burden is on me for being behind, so I take reasonable precautions, like not going to a thread or subreddit about whatever I'm working through, otherwise if something somehow gets spoiled then oh well.

For example, I didn't finish Breaking Bad until last year and already had all of the major events spoiled for me by the time I started watching the show (since like GoT it was impossible to avoid references online as the show originally aired), and was still able to enjoy it.

Common courtesy is great (not posting spoilers in thread titles, being careful about major twists when someone asks not to be spoiled, etc), but some people get fuckin crazy about it. Like the Dark Souls 3 prelaunch thread where people got outraged about screenshots of swords being posted. WHOA THERES SWORDS IN A DARK SOULS GAME THANKS FOR RUINING IT FOR ME NOW I CANT ENJOY IT
 

Demoskinos

Member
Oh boy does all of that just make me roll my eyes. I don't need a literal handbook of "rules" to tell me what I can discuss in public.
 

axisofweevils

Holy crap! Today's real megaton is that more than two people can have the same first name.
Disagree with the reality TV stuff. Who goes / stays is just as important to a RTV fan as a Death is in GOT.
 

Kyari

Member
I'm not going to enable spoilerphobes, if your "too busy" to watch a show then don't expect the world to change for you so you don't get spoiled. It has not been difficult for me to avoid this seasons of GOT spoilers. I'll be marathoning it this weekend.

Okay but by your own logic this reply to your post right now could have been a summary of everything you're about to watch in your GOT marathon this weekend and you'd be okay with that?
 

MIMIC

Banned
I disagree with 7 and 22. I can't pinpoint an exact timeframe, but there is definitely a window when spoilers apply to reality TV. A day? A week? I dunno. But I just wouldn't say that it doesn't apply at all. There was a TV episode that poked fun at this very concept: the girl asked her class not to tell her who got voted off a particular show the previous night, and one of her classmates purposely yelled out who was voted off.

As for No. 7: I completely disagree. Serialized shows apply. I probably wouldn't make the same argument for something like "The Simpsons" or "Friends" though.
 

water_wendi

Water is not wet!
im not too concerned with spoilers but some people. Coworker will be like "Hey i saw this great movie." "Oh, whats it called" "Its called XYZ and the end when Famous Actor dies is incredible. Betrayed by his own people. It was so crazy."
 
I think this list is a little much. Just be considerate of others is all. If someone hasn't had time to watch something like the Defenders yet (for example), just stay out of those threads or tell people who want to talk to you about it that you haven't finished the show yet.

But some people need to let go of not wanting to be spoiled on old movies. If I want to talk about Fight Club or the ending to Seven with my friends in public, I will. I say this because it's happened more than once and it's annoying.
 

cwmartin

Member
11 should be the standard. I've had a certain Game of Thrones spoiler due to someone talking loudly in the college canteen.

So, presumably he was talking with a friend about the episode they both watched? He has to consider strangers now when he talks popular culture with his friends? Seems odd to me.
 

PixelatedBookake

Junior Member
To me, spoiler culture for movies and tv is easily avoidable and, if spoiled, won't bother me much. But video game spoilers I'm more sensitive to due to how much time you can put in a game before a big twist or spoiler happens. Like, for games like Ace Attorney where finding the twists are a major part of the game damn right I should be mad if I get spoiled on it.
 

Plum

Member
Wrong, your not the one who should be catered to, you're the minority. Nobody should have to stifle discussion about a current TV show just because you've not seen it.

Spoiler phobia is just the worst current trend.

So seeing as you're the minority having not watched Season 7 I'm assuming you'd be fine with me telling you that Jon is the Night King?

...that's not a spoiler, by the way, I just wanted to point out the hypocrisy of decrying spoiler culture whilst assuming everyone will be able to avoid spoilers entirely.
 
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