This is a dumb comment. You think stalking a woman would make for a fun day?
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This isn't a relationship right.
- Thread starter TheOnlyOneHeEverFeared
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TheOnlyOneHeEverFeared
Member
I think he was making a funny.
I'm gonna call the Gardai now, but I doubt I'll hear much from them today what with it being late/and having other stuff on.
KoopaTheCasual
Junior Member
UUUUUHHHHHHHHH.....
I can't tell who's in more immediate danger, you or him... Really proud of you for finally cutting the dude out of your life but holy shit, mate, this dude sounds positively crazy.
Lol, man I hope the live-action adaptation captures this.
Kingpin Rogers
Member
I was, apologies if I didn't make that clear enough.
andythinkpad
Member
OK he has turned his attention on you.
surfacefish
Neo Member
It's not your responsibility but if you want what is best for everyone involved see if he is interested in learning about behavioural psychology and wants to get help.
Also, has the, uh, stalkee had any opportunity to speak about what they are or are not okay with outside of unfair or unhealthy influences? I've been a victim of stalking. I've also been catfished to make it appear as though I had an uninvited interested in someone. Try to ensure you understand both sides. See if your friend is open to learning types of behaviour that could make her an easier target for someone like that too. Victim blaming isn't fair but wanting someone to learn about human behaviour for their own sake is never a bad thing.
Also, has the, uh, stalkee had any opportunity to speak about what they are or are not okay with outside of unfair or unhealthy influences? I've been a victim of stalking. I've also been catfished to make it appear as though I had an uninvited interested in someone. Try to ensure you understand both sides. See if your friend is open to learning types of behaviour that could make her an easier target for someone like that too. Victim blaming isn't fair but wanting someone to learn about human behaviour for their own sake is never a bad thing.
TheOnlyOneHeEverFeared
Member
I don't want to associate with him or his family in any way, they can figure that out for themselves. And as I don't know the woman at all, I have no idea.
Johnny Cage In The Shower
Member
Despite all the "advice" you got from GAF: I don't think abruptly cutting ties with this guy all a sudden was such a smart and safe move.
Considering he knows where you live and he can conveniently show up at your door any given day, you may want to put him down gently....
Just phase out of his life in a span of two weeks or something without any drastic, sudden behavior. He doesn't seem to understand basic social behavior, good luck out there man!
This man. Just say you busy
If his friend is unstable (and it sounds like he is), I don't think it's going to matter one way or the other. OP may need a restraining order.
TheOnlyOneHeEverFeared
Member
You'd be right, except I'm tired and just drained, and if I gave him another chance or tried to let him down gently, I'd give up on trying to get rid of him, so it has to be a clean break. Or as clean as it gets.
DiipuSurotu
Banned
This isn't a friendship
Johnny Cage In The Shower
Member
Well, I sincerely wish you best of luck, I don't know what else to say. Hope you don't get harassed by him or his family in any shape or form.
Agreed. It's easy for people to say "just cut ties with him" when the guy doesn't know all of their personal details including their actual address.
OP should have just slowly drifted - just progressively decrease the amount of contact with him until eventually going dark.
At this stage OP now needs to make the authorities aware of his and the other guys situation.
DiipuSurotu
Banned
His family sounds either clueless or completely irresponsible
Ayup.
OP, your "friend" is stalking her and needs to stop watching Pick Up Artists videos. Unlike what the PUA say, if you follow their advice then when a girl gives you her number it's mostly just to get out of a dangerously awkward and potentially violent situation
Glad you ended your "friendship" with that maniac.
Oh god, no!
Vegetable Lasagna
Member
You can add stalker and misogynist to the list of things your friend is.
Edit: Oh, sounds like he's stalking you now also. Fun.
Edit: Oh, sounds like he's stalking you now also. Fun.
Soldiussnaku
Member
Why the fuck do you even consider him a friend?
It is a blunt way of asking, but Jesus you can find much better people, who then become friends, then this garbage shitstain. There is no misreading on your part, you so called friend is a fucking creeper shit stain, I've read your eyebrow raising, face hating posts on other threads and that combined with you continual acceptance of calling this person a friend, kinda rings hue alarm bells that a cleansing of friends, aquaintences, environment, and how you view life might just be on the cards.
Blocking him on social media is a start but a cancer like this you have to cut out of your life befor you become permanently infected by it.
Edit: good on you for taking the big step of cutting him out of your life, cold turkey is usually the best way. People like him will continually suck the happiness out of you until they leave you a husk and end the friendship with you, seen it happen with other people I know all too often.
Call the police.
TheOnlyOneHeEverFeared
Member
I have called the local Gardai station and they said theyll send someone over tomorrow afternoon to talk to me. I think thats good?
And I just need him to not exist in my life anymore. Thinking about him and trying to explain away his madness and his emotionally draining behavior is making me hurt and I thought for years I could change him and maybe he just needed a positive influence but nope never ever did 8 years of fat jokes even now when everyone else has said Ive lost weight after getting into jogging he carries on and 8 years he hasnt moved on from school or his rampant homophobia despite being so deep in the closet or his racism about people who arent white and or Irish or hated of women which comes from god knows where or his thought that women who have abortions should be punished or his obsession with people from school that have moved on or moved away and dont care about him anymore if they ever did and thats just it he is locked in being a teenager and I feel bad for him I always kind of did but I cannot be around him I feel bad enough without him putting all his shit onto me. Im so fucking tired of him. I will be moving away anyway hopefully before Christmas. I need him to not follow me in any capacity because I feel like exploding right now.
And I just need him to not exist in my life anymore. Thinking about him and trying to explain away his madness and his emotionally draining behavior is making me hurt and I thought for years I could change him and maybe he just needed a positive influence but nope never ever did 8 years of fat jokes even now when everyone else has said Ive lost weight after getting into jogging he carries on and 8 years he hasnt moved on from school or his rampant homophobia despite being so deep in the closet or his racism about people who arent white and or Irish or hated of women which comes from god knows where or his thought that women who have abortions should be punished or his obsession with people from school that have moved on or moved away and dont care about him anymore if they ever did and thats just it he is locked in being a teenager and I feel bad for him I always kind of did but I cannot be around him I feel bad enough without him putting all his shit onto me. Im so fucking tired of him. I will be moving away anyway hopefully before Christmas. I need him to not follow me in any capacity because I feel like exploding right now.
dl77
Member
You've done the right thing. If you think he actually might do anything stupid then just let the police know/show them the letter and they can deal with it.
I also agree with you, a clean break is the best. Try and let someone down gently over a period of time and they'll still think you're friends even if you haven't been in touch for a while.
I also agree with you, a clean break is the best. Try and let someone down gently over a period of time and they'll still think you're friends even if you haven't been in touch for a while.
TheOnlyOneHeEverFeared
Member
I did speak to the cops this morning, they said keep a record of everything he says and does, screenshots of any messages, and call them if he knocks on the door or makes more FB accounts to harass me. Seems fair enough.
Greatest Ever
Member
I refuse to believe this is real. OP playing the long troll game.
mordecaii83
Member
Please post at least once a day for a while so we know this guy hasn't murdered you... And no, I'm not trying to make a funny.
17 Seconds
Banned
it kind of seems like you want to be patted on the back for finally dumping this atrocious person you continued to be friends with
TheOnlyOneHeEverFeared
Member
Not really. I am a weak person though so I do need people to tell me to stop with things like this, otherwise I wouldnt do it.
Edit - I mean I need prodding to do and to stick to it. Otherwise Ive blocked him before but given in when hes come round or done whatever. So prodding, pushing, whatever.
dreamcastmaster
Banned
He's asked for help, followed the advice given and is getting support from us. Shitposts like this are unhelpful and you should be ashamed.
Shake Appeal
Member
Guys, he's in Ireland, he's not going to get murdered. Although it might not be bad for this kid to have a chat with the guards.
Dr.Guru of Peru
played the long game
I actually had a situation like this when I was younger. We were in the same classes and lived in the same apartment complex, so the dude somehow latched onto me. It starts off insidiously, but then there's a crisis and you end up with lots of uninvited visits to your apartment, late night calls about nothing, and just a generally dangerous view of the world that you end up trying to contain.
I can see why the OP found it difficult to cut ties: these people are scary, know stuff about you from before you realized they were crazy, and you have no idea how they'd react if you cut them out.The best thing to do is to try and encourage them to get help and slowly distance yourself from them, but since you've already cut him off I'd get the police involved ASAP.
I can see why the OP found it difficult to cut ties: these people are scary, know stuff about you from before you realized they were crazy, and you have no idea how they'd react if you cut them out.The best thing to do is to try and encourage them to get help and slowly distance yourself from them, but since you've already cut him off I'd get the police involved ASAP.
Terrible post.
Northernlights
Member
How does he not see all of this as creepy?
LegendofDragoonLives
Member
I'm getting creeped out just being on this topic. Wtf lol
Is this the whole "Youtube/current generation doesn't have any social/emotional/social skills" thing I read about?
Sure sounds like it.
It's 1000% obvious your friend is a creep. Your friend also appears to be an idiot when it comes to reading others.
How do you not know the answer within like 2 seconds of even thinking about your question in the OP?
Sure sounds like it.
It's 1000% obvious your friend is a creep. Your friend also appears to be an idiot when it comes to reading others.
How do you not know the answer within like 2 seconds of even thinking about your question in the OP?
I have been in the position of OP, but my ex who was threatening physical violence, additionally she had the means (guns). I had to cut all ties after trying to "ease out of it". People in that state are not about to gently let go. They don't understand nuance. Cutting it off is the only way to proceed. You make it clear there's no chance of any relationship of any kind and stick to it, don't give them a crumb.
Any further interaction is only going to muddy the waters, additionally he may be crazy, but I see two options here.
1. He's just a fucking idiot and once legal action is threatened he'll back off and maybe even look at his actions.
2. He's actually dangerous, in which case the sooner a paper trail starts and the authorities get involved the better. This way they've got an eye on him, which protects you and maybe prevents him from hurting someone in the future.
I know it's not a simple thing when you have people screaming at your door (in my case this woman was was implying she was going to harm my family members if I didn't let her in my apartment). I don't think you can wean off something this toxic though, the message needs to be loud and clear.
Any further interaction is only going to muddy the waters, additionally he may be crazy, but I see two options here.
1. He's just a fucking idiot and once legal action is threatened he'll back off and maybe even look at his actions.
2. He's actually dangerous, in which case the sooner a paper trail starts and the authorities get involved the better. This way they've got an eye on him, which protects you and maybe prevents him from hurting someone in the future.
I know it's not a simple thing when you have people screaming at your door (in my case this woman was was implying she was going to harm my family members if I didn't let her in my apartment). I don't think you can wean off something this toxic though, the message needs to be loud and clear.
TheOnlyOneHeEverFeared
Member
Yes exactly. He wasn't always as crazy as he is now, or he didn't seem it anyway. And when I first moved here he introduced to me my first social circle. Also ruined it for me and made a facebook group with those people about what a loser I apparently am, but still.
Yes I should have broken ties before now but I can't change things.
#sorrynotsorry
Member
Guy sounds like a real gem of a friend. Don't be weak. Just resist. If you can't, then you've only yourself to blame. You know what he is.
That's stalking. Reminds me of a post on reddit except the guy finally was brought to realize he was stalking and got medical help (did help to get in the mind of a stalker to read his initial post and then ones after where he actually listened to repliers rather than deny he was stalking and had sought therapy about it). Guy has issues that needs a therapist (and some way to be able to realize he needs therapy). I was going to suggest you flat out tell him but now looking at later replies looks like he's focusing his behavior on you so that's out (and now you gotta worry about his behavior towards you).
Hindsight is your worst enemy. Don't get hung up with what you've should've done, the important thing is that you've taken steps now to sort this mess out.
And you handled the situation with him stalking the girl well, not all people would take the steps you did. In my book that makes you not a loser.
TheOnlyOneHeEverFeared
Member
There is actually a resolution of sorts to this!
So Jim told people he was going to Offaly to meet his 'girlfriend' Laura (not the real name) that he's been ranting about for weeks and weeks now.
Turns out that someone round here actually knows Laura and or recognised the description and where she lives and works etc, and asked her about it, and she was really unhappy about it, and the fact he'd gone down to try and find her, so through this mutual acquittance she informed Jim that she wasn't his girlfriend, she was trying to be friendly but she wasn't interested before and definitely isn't now, she was going to inform the Gardai and she was going to change her number and if he tried to contact her again her dad would kick his arse.
Jim's response has been to post several rants on facebook (I'll post the screenshots someone sent me in the morning) about how women are all liars and snakes and have all the power, and how Laura was probably a lesbian anyway and he'd 'fucking sort her out' next time he saw her and she was probably a slut anyway and angry angry ranting.
So Jim told people he was going to Offaly to meet his 'girlfriend' Laura (not the real name) that he's been ranting about for weeks and weeks now.
Turns out that someone round here actually knows Laura and or recognised the description and where she lives and works etc, and asked her about it, and she was really unhappy about it, and the fact he'd gone down to try and find her, so through this mutual acquittance she informed Jim that she wasn't his girlfriend, she was trying to be friendly but she wasn't interested before and definitely isn't now, she was going to inform the Gardai and she was going to change her number and if he tried to contact her again her dad would kick his arse.
Jim's response has been to post several rants on facebook (I'll post the screenshots someone sent me in the morning) about how women are all liars and snakes and have all the power, and how Laura was probably a lesbian anyway and he'd 'fucking sort her out' next time he saw her and she was probably a slut anyway and angry angry ranting.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
Jesus Christ
I never advocate for violence, but someone should beat the fuck out of this guy. Maybe he'll learn that way.
That doesnt sound like a resolution at all. Now shes in the crosshairs for a violent attack. Probably wont be resolved until hes behind bars.
CarlisleDavid1979
Member
Time to contract the police op
CanUKlehead
Member
PingPongvonLaserstein
Member
Holy shit, "sort her out"? Your friend/ex-friend is a legitimate fucking maniac.
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
resolution?
this is like the middle point of some scary thriller movie, its only going to get worse before it gets better (if it does)
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